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Reading Reviews for Beyond Repair
  
67 Reviews Found

Review #26, by alicia and anne Daddy's Little Flowers

23rd May 2016:
I wish that I could find a comfortable position on my chair... I am feeling your pain Petunia! I can relate.

Awww is she waiting for Lily to be born? Oh my god this is going to be adorable!

Aw this is so cute! Tiny Petunia is so sweet, holding Lily and kissing her hand and being a proud big sister already.

Oh no! It's changing and poor Petunia is feeling left out :( And now I feel so bad for Petunia. I wish that she could have understood, but she probably hated Lily from that moment.

So cute and bittersweet at the same time. You've done a brilliant job at writing this in such a small amount of words. :D

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Review #27, by Penelope Inkwell Sailing

18th May 2016:
Hey Renee! So, Kaitlin's blog post on your general awesomeness reminded me that it had been ages since I'd been over to your AP. How did that happen? And then I remembered how much I'd enjoyed those first couple chapters of "Beyond Repair", and wanted to dive back in.

I loved this. I think I mentioned before, but the way you write Lily and Petunia's relationship is amazing. Petunia is still Petunia, still a big sister. I remember a past chapter where she left Lily out. But you also write about their closeness, their sisterhood, and you balance those concepts so well. It's easy to assume that they never had a good relationship, but I like that you've written something very different from that. Here, they are sisters, best friends, which will put so much more force behind the break between them. Petunia grows up to be a rigid, unpleasant sort of person, but that kind of neglect and cruelty she showed--I think it's the kind of thing that most often grows out of broken love, and a sense of betrayal, so the way you're writing that fits with the character's trajectory. It's so much more sad to think of, too!

“With mermaids!” Petunia nodded.
--Ugh, the way you write Petunia here is perfect. It makes me so happy, and yet so sad. This is a little girl in touch with her imagination, a little girl who reaches out to magic with open arms. And it makes perfect sense. Maybe that was what hurt so much, years later--when she finds out that there is magic, but that she can't have it. And, to make matters worse, she "loses" her little sister--her friend, and maybe sometimes, as we see, her braver, emotional protection--to it. This detail killed me.

pulling her gently back into their magic.
--this line too. Same thing. This magic is so sweet and pure, and its theirs. And Petunia is all for it! It just shows how much it might hurt her to be shut out; how that might have been one ache at the root of her total rejection of magic, and everyone that went with it.


CC:
a tangle of lightening
--sp. "lightening" = "lightning". But I love the imagery of "a tangle" of lightning! You choose such great words.

When Lily talks about grabbing a rope from thin air, I couldn't tell at first if she'd actually conjured it, and that confused me a little. Since, you know, she potentially could. It might be good to clarify.

Petunia looked up at the warmth of a small hand taking hold of her own, gifting her a warmth that thawed her fear into something malleable...
--It might be better to avoid using "warm/warmth" in the same sentence. Maybe "the comfort of a small hand", or something like that? Oh, and the warmth thawing her fear into something malleable? Such a great image! Your words are amazing!!



Honestly, your writing is even better than I remembered! I'm so glad that Kaitlin mentioned it so that I could dart over here and read some more. You really are so talented. This really is "short and sweet", as your challenge required. I know you say that it was a harder tone for you to strike, but I think you did a lovely job. This was adorable, and fit with your story so well. You really do paint wonderful pictures, and your word choice is excellent! I hope to be back by here soon! Feel free to poke at me if I forget! I wouldn't want to miss out on this story, or the rest of your writing!

--Penny

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Review #28, by Felpata Lupin Sailing

15th May 2016:
Renee!!!
Oh, my!!! This is the most adorable thing I've ever read!!! *wub*
I loved this moment of pure cuteness between the two sisters! The excitement at the prospect of the trip, the typical older-sibling tickling, the game, that moment of fear when the storm broke and the way they overcome it simply by being together... So adorable...

Also, Petunia did have imagination... That's shocking... (well, no, not really... I'm so sad that she let her envy pull them apart...)

This was so beautiful! Really, I adore this story! You write so wonderfully! I'll be back! :)

All my love, as always!
Chiara

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Review #29, by victoria_anne Don't Let Go

16th April 2016:
*rushes in*

*pants*

Running is hard work.

Hello again Renee! ♥

I read the first two sentences of this chapter and you've already got me gushing. Lost for words. Can't even.

What you've written about Petunia's type of magic is just amazing. What a beautiful beautiful thing.

I love how you've written it in language for Lily's age as much as you can, too.

Don't put the word 'always' in there, what are you trying to do to me?!

Lily riding the bike ♥ I forget sometimes that she grew up completely muggle, so that was a nice reminder. Bikes not broomsticks.

... But always choose broomsticks.

Aw, they flew anyway :) ♥

This is amazing, all the wonderful things I've heard about this story don't even come close. These little snippets of their relationship, they're just things I've never read before and I love how you've done them.

Everything you do is amazing Renee

♥ B

Author's Response: AW, B, stahp. Everything YOU do is amazing!

(but actually)

This is still my favorite chapter in this story, so I'm extra glad you liked it. Thank you for such a lovely review.

xoxo Renee


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Review #30, by victoria_anne Daddy's Little Flowers

16th April 2016:
Hello lovely!

So you're busy and swamped with homework, leaving a little review for you is the least I can do ♥

(Also it is woefully past time I check out this story)

OMG RENEE

This is the sweetest moment ever! The way Petunia feels is something all older siblings can relate to! It's just so sweet to see Petunia and Lily as these tiny children. And "my little flowers" is just perfect!

See you at the next chapter!

♥ B

Author's Response: ♥ B ♥

Thank you so much for reviewing this when i was having such a stressful time. I know I really appreciated it, even though my reply is verrry late. You're the best!

xoxo Renee


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Review #31, by Felpata Lupin Don't Let Go

12th March 2016:
Hi, Renee!
Back again!
I did tell you I would come back, didn't I? And today I was just on a reviewing spread! :D

This is so adorable! You can really tell that the two sisters had a sweet relationship!
Petunia is Lily's hero, like it is normal for younger sibling to see the older one. Petunia is conflicted between feeling too cool to deal with her little sister and being overprotective of her, which is once again so typical and cute!

The bike ride was so lovely!!! And Lily used accidental magic? For the first time?

"Lily stepped up onto the pegs and rested her hands on her big sister’s narrow shoulders. And together, they flew."
Siriusly, how adorable is that closing line??? I love it! So much!

This is just brilliant, sweety! Loving this story more and more!!!
Tons of hugs!
Chiara

Author's Response: Chiara!!! Hi!!! *HUG*

Thank you so much for stopping by! I always love hearing your responses. I'm very please you thought the sister relationship seemed realistic. :D

I've always imagined Lily as being quite powerful, so I suppose her first accidental magic was probably as an infant. At this point she's beginning to have some intention with it. You know? Thank you for your kind words about the closing line.

Thanks so so much for this lovely review!
xoxo Renee


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Review #32, by Dojh167 Sailing

11th March 2016:
What I really appreciate about this story is that you don't rush through it. While you could easily establish that Lily and Petunia were once close and then move on to what drove them apart, I really like how you are taking your time with building the foundation of their relationship, because through that we can see what the meant to each other, where the cracks had their formation, and what a great loss their split would be.

I definitely understand your struggle writing something sweet when you're used to bittersweet/angst, but I would also argue that the last two chapters were also incredibly sweet and you handled them very well.

I have to admit that while this chapter is incredibly cute and playful, it does not feel like it moves the plot or characterizations along very much, as opposed to the other chapters. However, the mere doomed nature of these sister's relationships makes it feel that much more significant, and makes me want to savor their every moment of joy. The storm getting worse at the end definitely plays into that sense of impending doom. Good thing thy are extra cute to make up for it!

Another wonderful chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hello again!! *hug*

Knowing how much everyone seems to hate Petunia, I felt I needed to lay a super strong foundation to build the case for them and gain some sympathy for Petunia before the drama really kicks in. I agree with you that this chapter doesn't move the plot forward - but I'm actually okay with it as a moment of happy stasis in their relationship. There won't be any other chapters like this that are purely sweet, so if you ever think he same in the future let me know!

Thank you so much for reviewing and leaving such thoughtful comments. ♥

xoxoxo Renee


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Review #33, by Dojh167 Don't Let Go

11th March 2016:
I have to admit that a part of me hoed that all of the chapters would be from Petunia's POV, simply because she is such a fabulous and underwritten character. Still, I think that narratively it is a good choice to have the POVs switch between the two sisters here.

And I LOVE how Lily is convinced that Petunia is magic. It's just so perfect in all the ways. It is also a great touch that Lily is envious of Tuney going to school, as Lily's future school will be such a huge divide between them.

And again, you do an absolutely fabulous job of writing children, including believable differences based on age, both between the sisters here ad Tuney's growth since the first chapter.

Although they are still such young children, I can definitely see that Petunia has a need to be superior to her sister, indicated by not wanting to play with "a baby." I can definitely see how this characteristic will come into play later.

I love all of the flower references.

The quiet forgiveness of the storytime scene is really sweet.

Lily has so much determination, trying to learn to ride a bike by herself, and not giving up despite all her falls.

Petunia helping Lily learn to ride the bike is a really sweet scene, but it also speaks to her pride and need to be the older/smarter/more powerful one, which I expect will be the part of her that is most threatened when Lily starts showing magic.

I am so excited to see how things will develop here. It is one thing to oversimplify Petunia's hatred of her sister, and still another to say "they were once close, but Petunia couldn't deal with Lily having magic," but you are going into such wonderful depth, and now that you are establishing their intimate bond, I am really interested to see how it will be broken down. Even given what we know of what happens, it seems like it will take a lot for this bond to break beyond repair.

Sam.

Author's Response: SAM ♥

You are without question the first person to refer to Petunia as fabulous. Petunia being fabulous is your rendition of tomatoes ;)
But I agree - I find her fascinating! (Ok, so I might be a little biased...)

I actually never made that connection with school as a dividing force in their relationship. Er, I mean, yes! I totally meant to do that I am so clever! ;) Seriously, though, that's a really interesting and smart observation!

writing children is SO fun! :D

I'm really pleased that you see so many traits in Petunia here that might translate into tension later. I think Lily's stubborn determination also comes into play in their relationship.

This is just an absolutely lovely review and you are the most amazing! ♥ ♥ ♥

love you!
Renee


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Review #34, by Dojh167 Daddy's Little Flowers

11th March 2016:
Hello!

I've wanted to read this story for ages, and I really don't know why I've only just gotten to it. I think Petunia is a really interesting character to write about, and I love that you chose to take a deeper look into her relationship with Lily.

Also, I am glad that you keep the chapter sizes small and manageable - I'd probably still be putting off reading this otherwise!

I think you do a great job of writing little Petunia. Realistically writing children can be a challenge, but I find her very believable here.

You capture Petunia's mix of feelings really well in this chapter. Even though you don't directly say what Petunia thinks in this line, it says a ton: "He was holding something, looking at it like he didn’t remember anything else. Baby." And then the subtleties about Lily's name sounding slippery in her mouth, and the her reaction when she holds her... And the final two lines! Ugh, it's all so good!

I love love love this.

On to chapter two!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam!

It is SO nice that you wanted to read this. Thank you!

I don't think I could write in a voice this 'young' for much longer than this chapter, honestly. I'm glad you approve of the short chapter length.

Yay! I'm so glad you like it! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! *hug*

xoxo Renee


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Review #35, by Felpata Lupin Daddy's Little Flowers

3rd March 2016:
RENEE!!!
How did I wait so long to get here???
This is so beautiful! Just adorable! Baby Tuney is the most adorable thing I've ever read!!!
Oh, the sweetness, the family love! This is so wonderful! And your beautiful writing just makes it shine so brightly! You. Are. Awesome!
I must confess, it saddened me a tiny bit Petunia's moment of jealousy. But then, again, I suppose it's normal for older siblings. And sadly, we know how our relationship will end... Great foreshadow, by the way.
Aside from that, this chapter just warmed my heart! I will totally come back for more! :)
Good luck for February SOTM and the biggest snowball hug!
Chiara

Author's Response: Chiara! *all the hugs*
Thank you so much for this review! I didn't expect it at all and it was such a lovely surprise to find waiting for me. I was totally shocked to be nominated for SOTM, to be honest. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter; thank you for your kind words.

xoxo Renee


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Review #36, by Gabriella Hunter Daddy's Little Flowers

15th October 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by and leaving your review for our swap! Thanks so much for agreeing to it! I always ask for swaps because I love reading new material. :D

This was a completely unique way to start a story and I don't think I've ever seen anyone write Petunia so young. We hardly ever see her much on the archives but I like what you've established here, she's so young but you write her so well. I don't think I've ever written a child like this before so I thought that this was very unique. It's always great to read stories about Petunia and Lily too, you never get the sense that Lily hated her older sister but you always hope that things changed between them after they drifted apart. Of course, we don't have to worry about that here but Petunia seems like such dear and it's great seeing how much she loved Lily on first sight. The only thing that broke that spell was her fear that her parents wouldn't love her anymore and maybe I'm just reaching a little but that is some clever foreshadowing. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Well, this reply is a bit late, but thank you so much for the swap! I loved your story. (I actually ended up reading your entire Angelina novel that night!) And thank you so much for your review!

You definitely are not reaching - that foreshadowing was very deliberate! I am trying to uncover a more positive relationship under all the trouble we know is coming, but I also need to eventually split to be believable.

Thanks again for your review! It put a huge smile on my face and I'd love to swap again :)
xoxo Renee


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Review #37, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Picnic

15th October 2015:
AW! I never EVER thought I would hear myself saying this, but Poor Petunia! I know she and Lily have had their differences, but she really does want to be with Lily and go to Hogwarts (though you made it pretty obvious here that she wanted to go for the wrong reasons). She was already thinking about using the Imperius Curse to get her own way... I dare say, if Petunia had been a witch, she'd have been kind of evil. :/

Lily and Sev's picnic was adorable, and you definitely showed how caring Lily became. And Sev's arm was just awful. :( Poor thing, I just want to hug him.

I get the feeling that all of those cute, sweet little moments between Lily and Petunia are over, and that's so sad. If only they could handle their feelings and problems in a different way than they did.. :(

Anyway, this was another great chapter, and I'm really intrigued to find out where things go from here. I'm so glad I finally read this! Well done, dear! And please update soon! *hugs*

Author's Response: *hangs head*
I still haven't updated! I'm sorry! But it will come, I promise. I just can't promise when.

I don't think Petunia is evil. I do think she's insecure, and therefore very easily swayed by popular opinion, and I think she's narrow minded and somewhat selfish. But I don't know about evil.

Yeah, I felt so bad for writing that kind of situation for a little kid, but Snape's home life sounds hard in the books and I tried to be true to that.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE AMAZING REVIEWS AND THE SUPER KIND WORDS YOU SAID ABOUT MY STORIES! I was SO thrilled when I read them!

lots of love!!
Renee


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Review #38, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Light as a Feather

15th October 2015:
:O !!

There it is! The rift is already starting. :(

It makes total sense that Lily's magic would have manifested itself in some way before her 11th birthday, and I find it really interesting that Petunia KNEW it was her. That indicates that other things have been happening, and I'm really curious as to the things that have happened before this incident.

Speaking of this incident, having Lily's magic show up while the girls were playing 'Light as a feather, stiff as a board" was a stroke of pure GENIUS. It's the perfect cover! It's easily explained away to the other girl because of the perfect timing, but it's still creepy and strange enough for Petunia and Lily to know that something's off.

It really makes me upset that Petunia's already calling Lily a 'freak', so I'm interested to see how that plays out once they find out Lily's a witch.

Anyway, another amazing chapter, dear, I'm off to the next!

Author's Response: Hi dear!

Would you believe me if I told you that I have already replied to this review TWICE, and both times it somehow didn't go through? Well, that's the truth!

Anyway, third time's the charm, right?

Thank you so much for this review, along with all of your amazing reviews on this story! I think little things had happened with Lily's magic before this incident, things the adults just explained away, but Petunia is still suspicious.

I asked my mom what girls might have done at a slumber party back in the 60s, and she suggested a seance, so I have to give her credit for that idea. I'm so glad you liked it!

Before NaNo, I was working on the chapter where Lily gets her Hogwarts letter, so hopefully before the end of 2015 you will get to see how that plays out.

Thanks again for the lovely review! xoxo Renee


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Review #39, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Sailing

14th October 2015:
THIS. IS. THE. CUTEST, FLUFFIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ! I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW, RENEE! I JUST WANT TO HUG THIS CHAPTER!

It's just such a PERFECTLY in-character childish scene between two sisters, a night before a big family trip. It really reminded me of Anna and Elsa in Frozen! It's so adorable! And the way you described their 'voyage', while still incorporating little facts about their bedroom, to remind us they're still there, was truly genius, but it also allowed us to see how much their imaginations carried them away at that age!

I really just can't say enough about how much I adore this! I love the way you write fluffy Lily and Petunia! ♥

Author's Response: Ah, hahaha! This made me smile like a fool! I'm so glad you liked it! *hug*

It totally is similar to Anna and Elsa! I hadn't thought of that!

"fluffy Lily and Petunia" is not a phrase I ever imaged reading, let alone writing. :P Funny how that works!

Thank you for yet another amazing review! Getting you opinion is so reassuring, honestly! xoxo Renee


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Review #40, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Don't Let Go

14th October 2015:
Aw! That is so sweet! I mean, it was sad at the beginning because of Lily feeling excluded and what Petunia said to her, but that moment between them with the bicycle was just so perfect and cute and fluffy! I think it might have actually softened my opinion of Petunia a little bit, and that's saying something! :P

I know how their relationship turns out, but I still love this chapter so much! You do a GREAT job with portraying the dynamics between an older and a younger sister!

I have to admit I'm a little wary of what I know is coming, but I'm still excited to read the next chapter! Well done dear!

Author's Response: Hi again! :D

"I think it might have actually softened my opinion of Petunia a little bit, and that's saying something!"
^^This is one of my goals, so YAY! I had a ton of fun writing that bicycle scene, too. :)

I am always so relieved when people say the sister dynamic is believable, because I only have one sibling, a brother, and he is quite a bit older than I am.

Thank you so much for another oh-so-kind review!


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Review #41, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Daddy's Little Flowers

14th October 2015:
Hello there lovely! It's about time I got around to reading some of your work! *hugs*

I've got to say, I have never, never read a fic that explores Lily and Petunia's relationship like this, so I'm already excited to see how this turns out! And I've also never read a chapter showing Petunia's reaction to Lily's birth, either, so HUGE kudos for you there on originality!

I really liked how you created this little feeling of competition between them (or at least, from Petunia's side), right from the beginning. It's natural for older siblings to feel a little under-appreciated when new babies come along, so that was a very realistic depiction, and, the way you've portrayed things here, it seems as though that will just be the catalyst for what gets everything else going in the story. It's got me really excited to see what's next!

I really liked your description here also - my favorite was of Petunia swinging her legs - that's so typical for a child her age!

Anyway, this was a fantastic first chapter, and I'm off to read the next! Well done dear!

Author's Response: Hola amiga!

I'm sorry I waited so long to respond to your reviews... I may have rather enjoyed seeing all FIVE of them on my homepage all bold and making me feel popular :P

I'm glad you think this is original. I know everyone hates Petunia, and I kind of hate her, too, but I also think it would have been really hard to be this normal kid and then your little sister outshines you in ever way - Lily got the looks, the brain, the personality, and then magic on top of it! Trying to understand her has been really interesting.

Thank you for such a lovely review, dear! On to your next review :D


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Review #42, by Jayna The Picnic

4th October 2015:
Aww! I feel so bad for Petunia. This was just so sad. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story and I'm glad you submitted it and gave me a chance to read it. You do a fantastic job of making the characters connect to the readers by making them complex and realistic. The emotions they feel are similar to the ones we feel and I think the fact that you examined Petunia and Lily's relationship through everyday scenarios that most people can relate to made this story that much better. Thank you for taking the time to enter my challenge.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Entering the challenge was my pleasure! I enjoy writing children so much!

I'm glad you felt for Petunia here - I know she's pretty much universally disliked, so I am really trying to explore where she might have been coming from and understand her.

THANK YOU for all of your reviews! They were so kind and it was such a treat to have someone review each chapter like this!

And thank you for honorable mention! I was so honored!

xoxo Renee


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Review #43, by Jayna Light as a Feather

4th October 2015:
Ooh. And the plot thickens! I was actually very surprised when Lily started levitating Tuney. Anyway, in this chapter you did a great job of making the reader feel Lily's frustration and confusion. I could really feel how she didn't understand why Petunia didn't want her or why Petunia was acting the way she was. I also really liked the way you built up the tension at the scene when Petunia was in the middle of the circle. I was literally holding my breath because you did such a great job of building the tension. Great job!

-Jayna

Author's Response: "I also really liked the way you built up the tension"

^^This was my biggest concern about this chapter. I wanted it to really feel like a build up to that moment. Your review put the biggest grin on my face!

I felt sorry for both girls when I wrote this, because they're both dealing with this unexplainable, scary thing. i think this is the moment that causes Petunia to fear magic (initially), but also the moment that causes her to crave it.

Thanks for the sweet review!!


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Review #44, by Jayna Sailing

4th October 2015:
OH MY GOSH THE FEELS! WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE FEELS!!! This chapter was definitely far more sugary and I think you did a really good job, especially for stepping out of your comfort zone. The ending was just perfect, and I loved how you portrayed the children in this bit. One thing you did exceptionally well in this chapter was all the imagery. I could really see the storm and the girls playing pretend in their room as you described it and it was just fantastic. I also liked how you reminded us that they were just playing pretend by adding things like "twin-sized vessel" and "quilted dinghy". Again, this chapter was just a pleasure to read and definitely put a smile on my face.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Hi again Jayna!

Thank you for yet another amazing review!

It was pretty fun to write them playing like this, although I did have to suppress my natural tendency to make things bittersweet. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and liked the interweaving of reality and fantasy.

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on Beyond Repair. This was a wonderful challenge and I really enjoyed it.

xoxo Renee


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Review #45, by Jayna Don't Let Go

4th October 2015:
Hello again! This chapter gave me warm and fuzzy butterflies in my stomach. Although there was that one part that was a little sad, for the most part this was incredibly sweet. I really liked how you portrayed Lily and Petunia's relationship in this chapter because I think it was very realistic and believable. For me, this is pretty similar to how my relationship with my little sister was at this age and it was good to see how they fought and made up so quickly.

One thing I noticed was that you seem to have a typo.

"The next day was Tuney’s first day of summer hols,"

I believe you meant to say summer holiday.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter and the whole thing just flowed so well.

-Jayna

Author's Response: It makes me SO happy that you recognized your own sister relationship in this chapter, because I don't have a sister, and so I am constantly trying to imagine what it would be like when I write this story. I found this chapter really fun to write, and I'm so glad you found it believable.

Thanks for the review, Jayna!


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Review #46, by Jayna Daddy's Little Flowers

4th October 2015:
Hi! I'm here with your review for the childhood challenge. As this is a multi-chaptered fic, I will be reading and reviewing each chapter, but they will probably not be quite as in-depth.

First off, I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked seeing Petunia as a very young girl and it was great how Petunia was actually thinking and acting like a toddler. The whole chapter was very believable and it was great how you managed to make Lily's birth start out happy, but in the end have an underlying current of jealousy and what's going to happen. I think that my favorite part of this chapter was when Petunia thought her mother was going to hug her because I think it's when Petunia first realizes that she isn't an only child anymore and that things are about to change.

I don't really have any suggestions, but overall this was a great first chapter and I'm excited to see what happens next.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Hi Jayna! Thanks for leaving all these lovely reviews - I was so excited when I saw them!

It's interesting how people respond to this chapter, which is a very strange one in many ways. Petunia is SO young here, and certainly can't be held accountable for her thoughts or actions, but I thought it was important to start of from the VERY beginning.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the very kind review!


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Review #47, by May The Picnic

20th September 2015:
I do love this story about the sisters

Author's Response: Thank you dear! :)

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Review #48, by carry on with your knitting Daddy's Little Flowers

20th September 2015:
Hello! :)

Thank you for reviewing my one shot! :)
So I'm here to review you're story for you :)

I really enjoyed this! Stripping the relationship back between Lily and Patunina is a really interesting idea, because you can explore all the elements that led to the break down of their relationship :) I like that you started with Lily's birth because in all honesty this is probably what started everything off, like the snowball effect.
when my little sister was born, my parents said I was very jealous :') which is understandable because you go from having all the attention to having to share it. and understandable the baby will probably get the most attention...
I really liked that you included Patunia being really interested at the start in her little sisiter, but then the jealously developing throughout, especially when she thinks her mum was talking to her, but it was her sister, that bit broke my heart a little bit. :')

The way you've written it is an interesting one, it's almost like you've written it from another point of view that is neither Lily nor Patunia, but is still a child, as they have a childish view on things. I really liked that a lot! I wander if the narrator will mature with the girls?

Overall I thought this was a great read and I'm impressed that you managed to communicated so much in a small piece of writing!
I'm definitely going to come back to read some more :)

Love and hugs
Katie :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie!

I was so happy to see your review this morning, and then even happier when I read it! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! And, I am especially glad you thought the point of view was effective. It was difficult to write a child this young and make it both believable and helpful. I mean, Petunia can't even really speak yet! :P

Thank you so much for this lovely review :hug: I would love to see you in future chapters - you're welcome back any time!

xoxo Renee


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Review #49, by May Light as a Feather

14th September 2015:
This story get more exiting each chapter I read

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much sweetie! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and thrilled to see your name pop up in each chapter :)

The next chapter should be up fairly soon.


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Review #50, by May Sailing

12th September 2015:
I do like this story it's great

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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