Reading Reviews for Epiphany
  
44 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Ava Pearce Of Clarity and Curiosity

20th April 2010:
Hi RoseWeasleysPatronus here from the forums, or Ava here to review!

Wow, this story is very strange and beautiful. I absolutely loved the way you started it, by describing everything, the scenery and obviously Sirius's obvious bewilderment at where he is.
Also when he noticed Ruby for the first time, I love the description of her and especially her eyes.
Though what i think sold the story to me was when she started going on about curiosity being bad, it told me this place was strange and far from the norm, though I sort of figured that out from the banner and description, but it told me that not all is good here.
I am very VERY interested to see the next chapter and discover what the 'watching' room is. I will add this to my favorites and keep an eye on it!
Lovely story, very awesome, sucks you in even in the first chapter (a talent that not all writers have)
10/10
Ava xx

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to leave such a lovely review!

I'm so glad you think the description is alright, and I'm especially thrilled that you like the bit about Sirius' maintained curiosity - it is rather a huge component to the whole fic, so it's good to hear that you're into it. :)

Ahh, yes. The Watching Room. Rather a pivotal scene, actually. I'd love to hear what you think of it once the new chapter is up!

Thank you so much for such a great review, Ava, I so appreciate it!!


 Report Review

Review #27, by Halyna Of Clarity and Curiosity

17th April 2010:
Wow, I'm really intrigued! So far I'm guessing that Ruby loved Serious in 'Real Life,' but he did not/ did not know here and has been transported to Epiphany to realize that in fact she is the one for him. But then again, I could be totally off the mark (which I probably am, haha). Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: I'm glad you're curious! (Oh, irony.) Hmmm, I won't say if you're right or not, but you've brought up some interesting ideas! Next chapter should be up...eventually. XD

Thanks so much for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #28, by melian Of Clarity and Curiosity

13th April 2010:
Hi! Here with your review! Now, I don't think I've reviewed for you before so I'll explain my process: I allow my inner critic to dictate the first part and outline any typos, grammatical errors and the like I may have noticed. Then I talk about your story.

There were only a couple of typos that I saw in this chapter - here, your punctuation doesn't seem correct. "Even in the sky; he could bring into focus the individual drops of water that condensed into clouds." I think you need a comma here instead of a semi-colon, because otherwise the first part of the sentence is a fragment. Of course, you could have done that as a stylistic touch, but I think a comma would work better.

And you misspelled "Cheshire", as in the cat, right at the end there. You didn't say you wanted to be picked up on Americanisms so I'll ignore the US spellings.

Right. Enough of that. Your story. I really liked this. I get the feeling that Epiphany is some sort of place one goes after death, which would explain the unworldliness of it all and the change in Sirius' clothing and voice, his loss of memory, and the disappearance of his wand. There was just enough information given to spark our interest in the place and the role of Ruby Welsh (and who she used to be, and why she remembers Sirius while he can't remember her) to make us want to read more. I'm curious about the Watching Room and how this is all going to play out.

The Sirius in this story - whose age we don't know, incidentally, though I assume that will be revealed at some point - is enough like the Sirius of canon for it to be a very believable representation. I'm a bit picky when it comes to characterisation of Sirius but I think you've done a good job here - from what we've seen of him, at least. Ruby is an interesting character, too, with her sarcasm and riddles, though again I assume this will be explained later on. She's clearly been in Epiphany for a while now and is a little jaded, which is a nice foil for how otherwise perfect the place seems to be. Overall, I think it's been done well.

As for flow, well I had a feeling of music as I was reading this, if that makes any sense. The words felt lyrical. I don't feel that very often about prose but there is something about the way you wrote this chapter which was musical to me. (Does that even make sense? I know what I'm trying to say, but the execution is suffering a bit I think.) If you can keep that sort of writing style throughout the story it will make for very pleasant reading.

All in all, I think this is a good, intriguing start to a story. Feel free to re-request once you've got some more chapters up.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Ugh. So I had this really, all-around lovely response to this review, and then the laptop I was on decided to shut down for no apparent reason...so my apologies for this far less impressive response in which I say thank you far too many times and hardly even address the things you've said.

So. Anywho. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!

As for the semi-colon, you were correct in guessing that it was a stylistic touch. Though, now that you've mentioned it, I think I rather like the comma quite a bit better. So that, along with the spelling of Cheshire (which I had no idea about, so thank you again) will be changed the next time I do some minor edits to the chapter!

As for Epiphany as a whole - what it is, where it is, why people are there - I won't tell you whether your right or not, but I can confirm that you've picked up on some supremely key facts that are going to start coming together (or so I hope) in the next few chapters. I'm thrilled you mentioned the Watching Room, actually, as I've not yet written it, but am absolutely ECSTATIC to write it. It's really a very key scene as well, and I have to figure out how I'm going to write some very raw emotion...so we'll see how that works out then, won't we?

I'm so glad you're liking the characterization of Sirius. I actually had to re-write some of his lines in this because he was being just as sarcastic as Ruby, and I really couldn't have that. Plus, I have to agree with you on being picky on how Sirius is portrayed in many fics - ladies man, flawless god, cheeky kind of guy - I just don't see him quite like that. As for Ruby, her sarcasm makes me snicker as I write it and yes! You're exactly right about her being in Epiphany for while. The concept of time passing will be touched upon in the next chapter, and you'll find that time is a very sore topic in Epiphany!

Wow. I really can't thank you enough for this comment/compliment! I was trying for a ethereal, other-wordly sort of feeling with just a hint of cleverness as I wrote this, and hearing that I'm even remotely close to that is just fantastic! I definitely understand what you mean, and I'm just so(o!) glad it came across that way!

Thank you so much for such a great review! I'll definitely be re-requesting once the second chapter is up!

Thanks,
Zinny


 Report Review

Review #29, by AngelEyez3954 Of Clarity and Curiosity

12th April 2010:
Hello! AngelEyez3954 here with your review :)

Wow!! I think you are off to a great start here. I am so interested in this story now, and cannot wait for you to post more.

You put just enough into this first chapter to make the reader want more, but not enough to give away anything. I really enjoy your style of writing, and while I cannot comment on the characterizations so far, I look forward to seeing how you develop both Ruby and Sirius.

Please feel free to re-request when you post the next chapter. I'd love to see where you go with this!!

~LJ

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review -- I so appreciate it!

Do you really think so? :) I'm really thrilled you like it, as I particularly adore writing it.

I'm so, so thankful that you commented on putting enough into the first chapter; I'm such a stickler for having a strong first chapter for a fic that this was written so many times it made my head spin. XD I'm glad you like my style -- though, what exactly is it? I'm trying to identify it myself!

Sirius and Ruby development is something I'm seriously looking forward to writing! I'd love to re-request, and thank you so much for your lovely comments.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!!


 Report Review

Review #30, by Clover Of Clarity and Curiosity

12th April 2010:
this is kind of cool

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

 Report Review

Review #31, by prongs lover Of Clarity and Curiosity

9th April 2010:
what a great idea, and your writing style is really captivating. you've captured Sirius's personality well too, although im a little unsure as to how old he is, is he still in school? anyway, Ruby is awesome too, she sounds like a good match for Sirius as she can definitely hold her own. i was wondering why you've made this a short story, i know ive only read one chapter but the chapter was so well-done and intriguing that i really would like a novel length story :)
I hope you update soon, great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for reviewing!

I'm so glad you like the idea of Epiphany, as I was particularly nervous about going utterly AU - thank you so much, it means quite a lot!

As for Sirius' age, it's funny you've brought it up, as it will be explained in future chapters (three, I think) as well as why he is there, when, and his reason for being there! Do you really think so? At this point, I rather feel like they have severely conflicting personalities, though you never know what'll happen next! :) But I do agree, Ruby is a tough cookie.

As for the Short Story, I was planning on this having around 10-15 chapters, though based upon how much I'm enjoying it, that may just change!

Update will be coming in the near future! Thank you so much for you lovely review, I so appreciate it!!


 Report Review

Review #32, by Thalogens Of Clarity and Curiosity

6th April 2010:
In my oppinion, these are the best sorts of stories. Ever.
You're a natural born writer :)
Update soon!!

Author's Response: Ahh, that's so sweet of you! Thank you so much for the review, and I'll try to update as soon as I can!

 Report Review

Review #33, by kandekisses Of Clarity and Curiosity

28th March 2010:
Wow.

That was brilliant! Your writing is so beautiful and descriptive. It was like I was standing in Epiphany watching the scene unfold in front of my eyes.

But, I have to ask. What in the world is going on? Poor Sirius. This has got to be frustrating. You've wrote him very well. &This Ruby character is definitely intriguing. She just keeps surprising me.

I wonder how is it that they knew each other before? Gosh, Im as curious as Sirius right now.

Once again, you have a brilliant start here. Keep up the good work! Could you please drop by and let me know when you've updated? I'd love to know what happens next.

Author's Response: I have to be honest, I was so happy when I read this review that I knocked over my water and it almost short-circuited my laptop on which I was writing the second chapter of Epiphany! :P But have no fear, two rolls of paper towels later and a seemingly "okay" laptop, and Chap. 2 is saved.

But anywho, I'm absolutely thrilled you're liking this so far! As I've said before, imagery is quite important to me, so I'm really very glad that the description was alright for you.

Ah, yes. Poor Sirius. Sometimes I wonder why I'm putting him through all this and then I realize how much fun I have writing Epiphany. XD But like I've said before, quite a bit will be explained in the next chapter and hopefully it will answer a whole slew of questions that everyone has.

I should be updating sometime this week, for sure! :) Thank you so very much for such a lovely review!



 Report Review

Review #34, by CARPE DIEM Of Clarity and Curiosity

25th March 2010:
Just like Sirius, my curiosity is killing me! Lovely writing, and I'm loving the characterization of Sirius. Can't wait for an update! Marvelous start. ^^

Author's Response: I'm glad people seem to be just as curious as poor Sirius! :) Thank you so much, I tried to portray him as realistically as possible. Next chapter is currently being written, and I'm thrilled you like it so far!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!!


 Report Review

Review #35, by RoseParsons Of Clarity and Curiosity

24th March 2010:
Already enthralling and it is only the first chapter.
Update soon. 10/10 & added to favourites (Y)
Rose (: x

Author's Response: I'm thrilled you like it, thank you so much!
Second chapter is currently being written and thank you so much for the favorite and the lovely review. :)


 Report Review

Review #36, by bellas Of Clarity and Curiosity

23rd March 2010:
Aw, he's dead. I think? But its still great (:

Author's Response: You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out what's going on! ;)

Thank you for the review!


 Report Review

Review #37, by soliloquy Of Clarity and Curiosity

20th February 2010:
This was fantastic. The description, the characterization, all of it was extremely spot-on. I want to know so much more about Epiphany and who Ruby is. I want to know why Sirius is there and what is going on. This is a perfect first chapter; it captures the attention of the reader and makes us long for more. I want to read more. I want to know more.

Amazing. Update soon ^_^

Author's Response: I am so thrilled you liked it! Am especially excited that you're just as curious as Sirius is -- as that was my ultimate goal in writing this. Really, hearing that this is a decent first chapter is one of the best things you could have said; I'm such a failure at starting things it's not even funny, so grinding out Epiphany was quite the milestone. xD

Thank you so much for the amazing review!

Zinny


 Report Review

Review #38, by coruscation Of Clarity and Curiosity

7th February 2010:
Wow, this story is off to a great start. Sirius is adorable, Ruby is a mystery, and Epiphany...well, I want to find out more about it.

The description you put into this chapter really made me feel like I was with Sirius in Epiphany. The way that you slowly reveal Sirius' surroundings is absolutely perfect. You really get the sense that it's like he's just woken up and is trying to make sense of his surroundings. It just added to how you really let the reader step into Sirius' shoes. Have I mentioned that I adore your version of Sirius (or, rather, what we've seen of him so far). I can already tell that he's really Sirius. That might sound a bit odd, but there are many stories where you get the feeling that even though the character's name is Sirius, he's not really him.

The exchange between Ruby and Sirius was lovely as well. She is kind of infuriating in the way that she won't answer the questions that both Sirius and I want answered, but I'm sure that she has her reasons. I might be jumping to conclusions but I get the feeling that she was that girl sitting behind him in the Defense O.W.L.s or, if not that girl, one of the girls that had a major crush on him. Or something. You do a good job of hinting that she knew him a while back, but you also do a good job of not exactly telling us who Ruby is.

And that's really all I have to say. Well, besides the fact that I'll definitely be coming back to review this story!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you, I'm so glad you're liking it so far!

I'm actually really thrilled you think so, as I really tried to put a lot of effort into the descriptions and imagery of Epiphany. The prospect of developing this entirely new world for the readers was very daunting, and so I'm very glad that the way I introduced Epiphany was effective.

Oh, yay! That's precisely what I wanted (the reader feeling just as clueless as Sirius, I mean) and your liking his characterization is just wonderful. :) I have such an issue when Canon people are utterly out-of-character, so I'm actually extremely pleased you feel like he's genuinely Sirius!

Oho, Ruby has reasons alright! You're on the right track, you are, as much as Ruby would had to admit how she really knew Sirius herself...*stops self from revealing more* I'm so excited for Ruby to explain how she knows him/why he's there and all that! :) Hopefully the readers will like it.

I can't thank you enough for the praise, I'm so grateful! And I can't wait for more lovely reviews! Thank you so much, again.

Zinny


 Report Review

Review #39, by propertyoftheHBP Of Clarity and Curiosity

6th February 2010:
propertyoftheHBP here with your review!

Wow - I really enjoyed this! Your quality of writing and the flow was impeccable - it was mysterious, descriptive, poetic, and so on. While reading it, I felt eerie in a way, like I had been thrust into Epiphany along with Sirius.

This one sentence, "She glared at him, stopping herself from her signature eye roll, and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously close to Just the same as always, the arse.", it confused me a bit. Is "Just the same as always" a person? Being, place, thing? Am I reading into it wrong, and is she being sarcastic in a way? You might want to clear that up a bit in an edit, but that was really the only thing that stood out a little strangely to me.

This really was wonderful, and I can't think of much else to say. I do have a question, though; Is Sirius beyond the veil here? Because I do see that the era is labeled as "Hogwarts". Or is the answer something I'm not allowed to know this point in the story? ;)

Feel free to request again!

Author's Response: Hiya there, I so appreciate your review!

Aw, really? :) I'm so glad you think so, as that's what I was really going for in writing this.

Oh, thank you for pointing that out! "Just the same as always" is the dialogue that Ruby was mumbling. I suppose it should be in quotes or italics or something then. I'll go ahead and fix it very soon.

You're right in the sense that it IS Hogwarts era, but he's not beyond the veil. ;) There's really quite the twist of what kind of place Epiphany really is, and that'll be discovered in later chapters. I like to keep everyone curious. xD

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I'll definitely be requesting again once the new chapter is up!

Thanks again,
Zinny


 Report Review

Review #40, by FannyPrice Of Clarity and Curiosity

2nd February 2010:
Wow! This is very good and impeccably written. Your grammar is pretty much spot on, and your descriptions are thorough, but they don't bog down either. There is always this air of mystery about the place, and who this girl is, and why Sirius is there, etc, etc...The reader pretty much has all the same questions that Sirius does. And I imagine it all to be silent with just their voices sounding...I don't know...its eerie and really good.

Very unique as well. I've certainly never read anything like it on HPFF. Your characterization of Sirius is done very well. He fits into what I pictured him as, but I'm intensely curious to see where you take him. And Ruby...so amazing, and once again leaves me with a burning curiosity. Which I suppose is ironic considering the premise. The dialogue between them was also very well done, interesting and varied. I like the word sniffed. Anyway, really, really good. It's going on my favorites, but feel free to post in my review thread anytime.

12/10!

-FannyPrice

Author's Response: *blush* Thank you so much for saying so, I'm really very flattered! I'm glad to see that I'm keeping readers wondering what in the world is going on, which is precisely how Sirius feels, and how it's meant to be.

I'm thrilled that you say it's unique - I wanted to try something entirely different from something I've ever done. Which, in my case, meant going AU. Lovelovelove that you're liking Ruby - she's oodles of fun to write! Good, good, I want to keep everyone curious! ;D

Thanks so much for the fantastic review and for the favorite, it means so much to me!

Zinny


 Report Review

Review #41, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Of Clarity and Curiosity

31st January 2010:
Okay, so first things first - HI. I know you're a member of TGS and haven't actually met you yet (long story) but I'm known as Rachelle over there - I hope you're enjoying it!

Anyway, Jack made me/suggested I come and read this and voilà - here I am. I shall warn you now - my reviews have a tendency to be rather long-winded and rambley :P

I'll start of wiiith style etc.
Your flow is brilliant. The balance between the description and dialogue and all the rest of it is bang on. It all cuts and slots together so neatly and it's timed really well. You definitely retain interest with that balance.

Sirius - it's so hard to find a decent characterisation of him and even in one chapter, I think you've captured him extremely well. The curiosity really becomes him, actually, and whereas sometimes that could create a childish petulance about him, it definitely doesn't here. He's strong and easily irritated/worked up and the way he won't take the "abuse" (in the loosest sense of the word) that Ruby's throwing at him really gives him a great character.

Ruby herself is very interesting. The whole element of who she is and how she knows him will undoubtedly keep us interested for a long time, and I'm sure you will surprise us with her identity. She is wonderfully sarcastic and madly infuriating for us, let alone Sirius!

Okay, I'm working a bit backwards here because I should have put this up with flow but let's go for the writing itself. Really, your description is brilliant. One of my favourite lines, that stuck out for me to the end, was in the opening paragraph:
The world had never been so crisp, like each object was outline in bold charcoal
It has such a picturesque, dreamy quality to it. The kind of image that you might imagine a daydream itself to be. Does that make sense? Possibly not :P

In his review, Jack made a comparison between this and Sitting in the Orange Tree which I will disagree with. In concept, yes, I can see where he's coming from though SITOT has an ethereal quality which I'm not feeling here yet. I am going to put that down to the fact that SITOT is complete and this is only at one chapter though, or possibly the fact that the world in SITOT has no real form, whereas this is a little more structured. I just wanted to bring that up - I think they're two very distinctly different stories, from plot to writing style, yet that certainly does not mean I think any less of this!

I was informed that "(this) is rather fabulous" and I really must agree. I shall wait avidly for the next chapter.

Fantastic


xx

Author's Response: Hi Rachelle! *wave* I'm Zinny. :D Good to meet you, and yes, I'm loving TGS!

Can I tell you I was smiling like an utter idiot whilst reading this entire review? xD I got asked "what are you smiling at?" so many times that's it's slightly ridiculous. I cannot tell you how appreciative I am that you would take the time to leave such a lovely review!

I am sososo glad that the flow is alright. I was having the biggest issues with dialogue to description ratio and so I'm glad that the dozens of edits I made paid off! I'm also really thrilled that the timing was okay, because making sure I wasn't speeding through Ruby and Sirius' first meeting drove me nuts!

I'm going to go ahead and *squee* now because I'm actually really surprised regarding the reactions I'm getting about Sirius' characterization and his remaining curiosity and whatnot. The fact that he wasn't accepting everything so quickly was very much supposed to be emphasized, though I was convinced that I hadn't made it relevant enough and when I transitioned back into it later on in the story everyone would sort of be immensely confused. xD So it's really good to know that that is working out how I intended...and Ruby! Aaah, Ruby. To be honest, I snicker to myself every time I write out a snarky little remark of hers. Writing her is ridiculously entertaining!

No, no, it makes perfect sense to me! And thank you so much for it! I was hoping my description was strong as I was fairly nervous about introducing this whole new world that no one knew about and making sure they had a set image of it in there minds! So, really, that means a lot. :)

I definitely understand! SITOT is such a brilliantly written fic and I definitely agree with what you're saying! Hopefully that ethereal quality will be evident in the future chapters!

Finally, sorry for the extreme ranting, I just wanted to make sure I covered all the parts of your fantastic review. xD I cannot thank you enough and I'll have to drop a thanks to Jack for sending you over to read this!

Writing chapter number two as we speak! Thanks so much (again and again) for the amazing review!

Zinny


 Report Review

Review #42, by ericajen Of Clarity and Curiosity

29th January 2010:
Your writing is fabulous! Very excited to see more of it. It's really refreshing, actually, to see a story written like this. It's got a lot more eloquence than most.

Author's Response: I can't tell you how much that means to me! I'm thrilled you think so. :) Thank you so very much for the really lovely review!!

 Report Review

Review #43, by Inti Of Clarity and Curiosity

28th January 2010:
Hey Zinny! You know what this is? All sorts of fabulous is what it is!

It's just such a gorgeous concept, the idea of Epiphany being a place, a tangible place. That it's a place of clarity, and yet for Sirius, he's still curious, he's still wondering. It fits him perfectly, he never exactly seemed like the type to sit down and meekly accept things.

As for Ruby, she's just lovely! Exactly my type :P

It reminds me a little bit of Sitting in the Orange Tree by marinahill in style. Just the floating, lyrical quality of the description. You bring all this lovely snark into things as well though, which is always a mega plus

Umm... that's it really, LOVED IT!

Author's Response: Hiya Jack, and thank you so much! :D

I'm thrilled you like the concept of Epiphany, seeing as I wasn't too keen on writing something where I was introducing and developing this whole huge world. But if I haven't totally messed it up already, I might as well keep going with it! xD

*squee* Yes, exactly! Sirius' inability to just accept things right away comes into play later on, as does the fact that his curiosity hasn't gone (which will be fully explained later on!) It's really key actually. *COUGH* FORESHADOWING *COUGH*

Does it now? What a compliment! :) I'm glad you like how it's written and oh, yes, I thrive on the snark. xD

Thanks again for the lovely review Jack!

Zinny


 Report Review

Review #44, by Jellyman Of Clarity and Curiosity

28th January 2010:
Okay, first things first - this is GOOD. Excellent, even.

I just lovelovelove the concept of this. The way you personified an epiphany into Epiphany, a place of such complete clarity, was truly brilliant. The writing was just amazing, you really captured every emotion so well.

Apologies for such a short review. I really did adore this, and I can't wait for more! Update soon :D
10/10

Author's Response: Awh, thank you Georgia! *huggle*

I'm so glad you like the concept. Really, I was nervous about writing something AU because it's completely out of my comfort zone, and developing this whole Epiphany place was quite daunting. And eep! Thank you for such a lovely compliment, as that's what I was trying to get across.

Short or not, I appreciate this so much! I'm writing the next chapter as we speak, so hopefully it should be up in a bit.

Thankee again, Georgia! :D

Zinny


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>