great chapter! i cant wait to see what sirius is going to tell her. update again soon! =]

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. Next chapter is coming together quite nicely I think, it'll be up soon.
Lots of love,
Kate

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great chapters!!! I can't wait to see what happens with James!! Update again soon!! =]

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review!
I will try to update soon, promise!
Lots of love,
Kate

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Ooh girl smack down this is so 90210 like she is like naomi i love it

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely reviews!
I don't know what 90210 is but I'm glad you like it I guess! :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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Wow, just wow it's like mean girls meet Harry potter Ah

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Great chapter. I'm curious to see when things will get more serious between James and Lily. The suspense is killing me. I'd also like to see more of the storyline with Snape.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your lovely review!
Next chapter will be up soon! :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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Cannot wait for chapter 10! Love this story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Chapter 10 is on the way! :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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This story rocks socks, I can't wait for another update! (:
Oh by the way, in this chapter you mentiones Sirius not knowing about Naomi smoking, but he found out earlier in the scene by the lake before the wolf incident, when he was in Animagus form. You might want to change that. (:
~Khanh

Author's Response: Hi!! Thank you so much for another lovely review!
Actually, that was intentional. He knows she smokes, he's seen her but that night before was such a shock for him that he can't remember anything but the end of it :)
It will be explained later, but thank you for noticing - it means you have really read the story and makes me super happy!
Lots of love,
Kate

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I really likes James's POV... it was amusing. :D
Ah, the suspense of what will happen next... XD
~Khanh

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I think this is a great start on the story so far... keep up the good work!
Oh yeah, was it intentional that the chapter title was the name of a song? XD
~Khanh

Author's Response: Thanks again for yet another lovely review!
Well, I actually found out about the song after I named the chapter but I didn't change it 'cause I figured it fitted quite well... and I do like the song :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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I really like the way this story was put together... I never really thought of Hogwarts as clique-y, so this is an interesting perspective. (:
~Khanh

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Wow, your main character seems like a very cold, spoiled rich b***h. Oddly enough though, I like her, because with a point of view like hers, this is going to be a pretty interesting story. :D
~Khanh

Author's Response: Thanks! I really hope you get to know Naomi, she should be interesting :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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Ahhh!! Great two chapters!!! I love Naomi so much, she's so clever and fantastically mean. Update again soon, I can't wait for more! =] 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
I will update soon, promise!
Lots of love,
Kate

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Oh my gosh I love this so... Much I'm forever checking to see if chapter eight is up! I cannot wait to see what happens! It even made me say "eep" again when I re read it! Keep up the amazing work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! Chapter eight is written but I cannot upload it until I am back home which will be in a week and a half. Promise I'll submit as soon as I have my laptop with me!
Lots of love,
Kate

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I loved it :)
What did Sirius save Naomi from before? Maybe you could include that in, in a later chapter?
I loved the James/Lily part at the end, I thought it was a good way of ending the chapter. And I'd like to see more of Lily's point of view.
Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! =)
I did explain what Sirius saved Naomi from before, it was the earthquake accident in Santorini.
Don't worry, we will get more of Lily's and everyone else's point of view :)
Lots of love,
Kate

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Everyone, please take a sit!”- Professor Dung said. I sat between Lily and Rhea -- I think you mean seat instead of sit (:

Another good chapter. I noticed a few other spelling and grammar mistakes, but nothing that really detracts from the story.

I really am love the tension between Narcissa and Naomi. Letty and Penelope scheming on how to switch sides is interesting, right along with Naomi's reluctant willingness to let them. Her desire to be on top and rule the school is truly impressive.

I also enjoyed the part about her being an animagus. A panther genuinely suits her personality, and I feel that you introduced this information at exactly the right point in the story. Too often tidbits like this are revealed too early in a story, or too cliche for a character that will most likely wind up with one of the Marauders.

The Auror recruiting students for the Order is generally done differently, but I like the way you presented the idea. I think it probably would've been a bit more private and secretive, as well as selective on the aurors part, but since he obviously trusts Naomi's judgement, I definately can't fault the writing there.

Excellet flow. I simply cannot wait to read how this story turns out, and what Narcissa and Naomi have plotted against one another next.

Author's Response: Again, your review is wonderful and amazing and makes me happy!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and then leave a thorough review, it makes me want to keep writing and improving =)
I am reviewing some of the previous chapters but I promise I will try to update again very soon!
Lots of love,
Kate

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Another good chapter, but I did notice a few things...

-“Why not?”- I questioned.





-“And we believe that Narcissa will eventually make you regret what you’re doing, so we want to stay out of it”- Charlie said, casually. Ha, cowards.


I think you may have missed a few lines in there, as the dialouge wouldn't make much sense otherwise.

I also felt that the backstory between Naomi and Sirius as told in Sirius' point of view was a bit rushed...It was't badly done, but it seemed sort of far fetched. It would've been slightly more believable if she got knocked over by a wave and hit her head, or Sirius ran at her in dog form and knocked her over...him causing a landslide on a mountain on a beach just seemed sort of out there, to me at least.

The last thing is the paragraphs describing Narcissa's pranks...I feel you could have elaborated a bit more, and added in some extra humor by actually hearing about more of the things the two girls had done to one another, besides just the green hair and how Naomi turned it around in a positive light. Dig a bit deeper into it, and really dredge up the animosity between them.

Other than that, the chapter was a good one overall. I really liked the tension between Narcissa and Ivy, and how escalated it's become. As I stated above some of their interactions feel a bit rushed and not explained enough, but their dialouge is perfect. Nothing better than a good catfight!

Naomi's character is also starting to round out a bit more. It's becooming obvious that she isn't a completely heartless bitch, and I genuinely think she is developing feelings for Sirius. The rest of the minions are also comming along quite nicely. Their interactions with one another and their Queen Bee are interesting and unpredictable.

The party was very well written, and I particularly enjoyed the parts with Sirius, Naomi, and Penelope. It was an interesting twist to have Sirius' date be one of Narcissa's minions, and how Naomi and Penelope interacted was a good twist as well.

Overall good job, and I can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the review!!
I do appreciate all you have said and I will review the chapter. You were absolutely right, I did miss some lines - I have trouble sometimes when uploading the stories!
I hope you keep reading and helping me out so much! You are truly amazing!
:)
Lots of love,
Kate

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ahhh!! it's been forever since I've read, but its still amazing!! If anything it's gotten better. I love the cat fights and how witty she is. I also love that she's starting to crack and actually feel things. Her relationship with Sirius is so interesting. I can't wait for more, update again soon!! 10/10! =]

Author's Response: Thank voy so much for your review!
Yeah, Hogwarts is going to have an interesting effect on Naomi, though she will not give in so easily ;)
I hope you enjoy her developement as a character!
And yes, her relationship with Sirius is one of my favorite parts of this fic! It's just so much fun to write!
Thanks again for the review!
Lots of love,
Kate

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The other one was Black and Potter’s, and his two friends. Mental note: ask their names.

:P

Good story so far :)

Author's Response: Hahah nice quote! :)
Thank you so much for your review!
I'm very glad you like the story.
I promise to update very soon - when the queue is re opened!
Lots of love,
Kate

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Going over the last bit in James' point of view was slightly repetitive, but overall another good chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!
Yeah, I didn't particularly want to repeat that bit but you will find out the importance of James' thoughts during that conversation later on so it was kind of necessary...
Lots of love,
Kate

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awesome please update soon

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review! :)
Update coming up!
Lots of love,
Kate

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I absolutely love it so far. It's obvious you've put a fair amount of thought into your plot and characters, as everything is extremely well developed. A few typos and spelling errors, but as I stated in my first review, nobody is perfect (other than Naomi, of course)!

But, being me, I must point this out. While I sort of love Naomi already as a character, I find her almost a little too good to be true. On the first day she had all of her dorm mates, Professor McGonagall, and the most popular boys in school adoring her, and all ready falling into place by doing exactly as they're told. Being a girl, and a lot like Naomi when I was in school, I feel that maybe her popularity is a bit rushed. She is of course, the shiny new toy, but it seems that absolutely everyone in the entire school (other than Narcissa of course) is fawning over her moments after they meet her, which isn't entirely plausible. Again, it could entirely just be me and my personal preferences, but it's always good to hear each side and every angle to a story.

That being said I am greatly looking forward to the next chapter, and of course an add to my favorite stories list. I'd love to watch and see how this story developes, and how all the characters, and even you as the author learn and grow with each chapter. Hope I don't sound too negative, or dare I say Naomi-like because I truly did enjoy reading these first three chapters.

Author's Response: Your reviews really make my day!
I am so happy you enjoy it!
About the spelling errors - I replied to it in the other review hehe again, forgive me and bear with me while I try to find someone to beta the story. I really do try to re read each chapter before I put it up but it's really hard.

Please, I adore criticism! It is really good to read reviews that help me make the story better. I know that Naomi is a little too good to be true, do not worry this is just the shock of a new arrival. I want to make the story enjoyable and realistic so, of course, life isn't perfect - not even for the oh so wonderful Naomi Ivy :)

Thanks again for the review!
Next chapter should be coming soon, I am almost done!
Lots of love,
Kate

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Excellent start! There are a few typos and spelling errors, but it certainly happens to the best of us.

Personally, I find that starting and ending your dialogue with a dash sort of interrupts the flow and makes it look a bit weird, but I suppose that's a personal preference.


Naomi is utterly, and deliciously awful. The girl you love to hate and hate to love. I do hope we'll see some of her more redeeming qualities soon enough though! I really cannot wait to see what she does to Narcissa, and the rest of Hogwarts even!!

Oh, and as a side note, I'm a bit of a fashion freak, and I know at least Dolce & Gabbana as well as Guess Jeans were not established until the 80's, and as this is the Marauder's seventh year, it would only be the late 70's. While I'm getting all technical Narcissa wouldn't still be in school either, but I know from personal experience its oh so much fun to write her in Marauders fics.

Excellent work! I'll definately be back to read more. Lovely banner as well by the way :)

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much for the lovely review!
I know there are typos and spellign errors, I have been trying to find a beta but have had no luck yet! The thing is that English is not my first language so it is quite hard for me to write here! Hope you forgive me! :)

I know, Naomi is just so much fun to write! I am so glad you hate/love her! I think you will enjoy what's coming! :)

About the clothes, I know hehe. I am also into fashion and I know that these did not exist as such in the late 70s but I just couldn't write a Queen Bee fic without bringing my favourite clothes into it!
I will make sure to make a note on this at the beginnig of next chapter since we will be seeing more names that are not supposed to be in the epoch :)

Narcissa, yes, I know, too but I needed someone who was good enough to rule Hogwarts and she was the perfect candidate :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Lots of love,
Kate

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rhea sun, really, couldn't you be a bit more original. and check the clothing, marauders were at hogwarts in like the 70s and they didn't wear D&G skinny jeans back then. just saying

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
Well, I know that they were in Hogwarts back in the 70s and I know they did not wear D&G Skinny jeans but this is my fic and since I am allowed to create a whole new story, I think I am also allowed to decide how they dressed like.
Rhea Sun, well, it's just a name. She could have called Marry Poppins - what matters is the character not her name.
I hope that, at least, you find the story interesting - it is the plot I think really matters in a fic but, again, if you don't you're welcome to comment again.
Lots of love,
Kate

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This is really good! Like really good! It discribes the whole the girl population. I hope you continue(: Please, update soon!! Amzing. (:

100/10 (:

-MacKenzie

Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks so much for the lovely review!
Haha, well I'm trying to give a good picture of how complicated girls can be, hope you keep enjoying it!
Next update coming next week, as soon as I find a moment between finals to put it up!
Thanks again,
Lots of love,
Kate

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I really like this story so far! It's so good, and I love her attitude even though she's actually a nice person. Update again soon!! =]

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much for your review :)
Next update is almost ready, I just need to find some time to edit it - Promise it'll be up by next week!
Lots of love,
Kate

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