I thought the image of Harry teaching Al to get under the cloak, unseen, while his parents were battling evil wizards, the house was on fire and he was holding onto Lily was priceless. Every parent's worst nightmare, that!
I also really liked how you told the story of each Champion's battle from their point of view. It was fun to see it from their view point, and to see how they thought through their task. You really captured the complexity of the task of battling each creature by doing so. And it illustrated beautifully what the Task was testing.
I also really like that both Al and James always seem to know what's in the Auror's handbook. Can just see them sneaking it and reading it together, whilst arguing, whilst growing up. Report Review
I really like Avery. Best of your characters. You've really captured how an older student might police younger ones without getting too involved. I also like how Avery's always studing, and yet always trying to protect his little firsties. I'm hero-worshipping a bit, but great character. Report Review
I liked the insight into Scorpius's world. So he's watching Al, because he doesn't trust that Al's trying to be nice, and thinks he's up to something... And, in a sense, Al is. I really like Scorpius here, and I'm glad that his parents at least THOUGHT of Drumstrang for him. It might have been less 'character building' if he'd been at a school that didnt' hate him on sight for the past...
Great Chapter. Report Review
Loved Harry's reaction to the DP article. Just LOVED it. What really sold the whole scene was Hermione rushing to Harry's office, trying to get there BEFORE Harry read the article, and then trying desperatly not to let Harry do something stupid. Beautifully in character for all three of them. And Rita's articles, as well, sound just like her. Great job there.
Just wish Harry would actually tell Al what little beetle to look out for. Then the Slytherins could all be on the watch for the horrible journalist.
Oh, and the line about Al spending too much time with Hermione... So Ron! Report Review
Absolutely LOVE Harry's statement to the Ministry about Draco and Lucius after the war. Priceless!
I also enjoyed the whole 'Al's not very smart' bit. It's interesting how Harry kept his kids in the dark about so much stuff that everyone else knows. But then, who'd want to re-live it and possibly scare their kids? Not to mention the fact that it's all very in keeping with the epilogue in DH. Report Review
LOL! 'On a scale of one to Voldemort'! I LOVE it!
So part one of Al's plan is fixated on Scorpius. Cute. I also really liked how Al used his knowledge of what Rosie was like to get Ravenclaws talking. That showed insight on his part. Too bad he can't use it on Scorpius. But I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually.
Also vastly amused by the Doxy scene. Scorpius's quick thinking saved them all. And Al's thought that 'no one had ever defeated a dark wizard by TALKING' -- How did Harry spin his defeat over Voldemort to his kids? Cause 'expelliarmus' is not a very advanced spell, and he did quite a bit of talking first. Report Review
I listened to the first two chapters of this on the podcast, and thought it was brilliant, actually. So I came along to read more. (I'll try and remember to review those as podcasts over there.)
I love your style, it really captures the essence of eleven-year-old thought pattern. While very well edited, its also clearly designed to move the story forward. You do an excellent job of using minimal description to create a very busy picture in the reader's head about everything that is going on at once around Al, without making him tooo observant and un-characteristic.
You've also done an amazing job creating destinct characters. I love that James is overdramatic. Rosie always wants to fit in, but can feel guilty about it. Faith is a bit bossy and over-whelming, but quick to try and perk up Al's feelings. Scorpius is very interesting, in his refusal to comment on anything. I wonder why that is? Was he raised to not excite talk from others, or is he naturally a pragmatist? Anyway, they're all great characters, so far. I especailly like both Avery and Lia as prefects in Slytherin.
My favourite scene so far was when Kitty was trading Biros with the Gryffindor boy and Professor Hunt took them away WORDLESSLY and gave her quill and ink instead. It just felt like such a teacher moment. (Does that make sense?)
Definately a great chapter. And a great story over all.
Gail Report Review
Wow I was laughing all the way through this how you can make something this funny is beyond me. But Al in slytherin! Wow! I did see it coming but it was shocking all the same. I'd have thought he'd have been in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor but then where would this brilliant story be if he wasn't? I love it all the same!
LpF123 xxAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
This was probably one of the most interesting next gen fanfic I've ever read :D I've never actually read one where Scorpius says nothing against Muggles or Muggleborns, and I actually can't wait to click the ">>" button to read some more!Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
I didn't really like Kitty until this chapter. I just adore her optimism. She must be made of rainbows or something.
Haha, James' little paper aeroplane notes are hilarious and I hope James continues this whole charade a little longer but isn't serious about it. I also like that both Harry and Ginny were fine with Albus being sorted into Slytherin. It would've broken my fragile little heart if they hadn't. I love Albus, he's so adorable.
I like the potions lesson and the explanation of all that's going on. We never got that in detail in the book, so I quite like it (and I went to chemistry camp so... I like stuff like that, haha). I really love how all the Slytherin first years seem to stick together.
I love how you've managed to balance the characters. Faith's loudness really contrasts with how timid Kitty is, and I like that. I also like how you're not ignoring the quiter characters :)
I really like how you've written this. You don't use too much dialogue, and you always balance it out with some narrative or descriptive. It always kills me a little inside when good storys consist of 90% dialogue.
LorrenAuthor's Response: Thank you very much!
>Haha, James' little paper aeroplane notes are hilarious and I hope James continues this whole charade a little longer but isn't serious about it.
Oops. Sorry to disappoint you, but James is completely serious about everything. I mean, he's not very GOOD at being serious, but he's trying his best.
>(and I went to chemistry camp so... I like stuff like that, haha).
Your mind is literally unfathomable to me.
Not that that's a bad thing!
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
I love how grumpy Scorpius is. It seems like he's resigned himself to the fact he's going to be in Slytherin despite knowing that everyone hates Slytherin because of its bad reputation. And again, I love how timid Al is.
Hagrid was perfectly characterised. You got his voice just right.
The imagery with the boats taking them to the castle was lovely. Not too descriptive, and very like JKR's writing. I laughed so hard when Hagrid started talking about Scorpius looking like a Malfoy and talking quietly ("which meant people in the castle couldn't hear him") haha!!!
And Faith?! That was a killer. An elephant sat on Flitwick? Or was it Hagrid who sat on him? HAHA!
The sorting song was brilliant. I dislike that people booed the slytherins :( James' characterisation was amazing. I really want to know how Al's parents will react.
The gender switching potion thing, haha. Lia reminds me a lot of Faith.
Another brilliant chapter. This is a very interesting idea. I've never thought before that the slytherins would be viewed so badly after the war.
LorrenAuthor's Response: Argh, sorry responding took so long... My computer sort of exploded and I had to get very expensive people to fix it.
>An elephant sat on Flitwick? Or was it Hagrid who sat on him? HAHA!
Oh, come on, if it had been Hagrid who'd sat on him he'd be flat as a pancake.
Thank you very much, and thank you for reviewing!
I really like this so far. It's a little be crazy but lovely and funny all at the same time.
Scorpius' characterisation was great. I can see him being all quiet and reserved like that, especially after his family being as involved with Voldy as they were. I loved Albus too. He seems niave and young, which is exactly what he is so I think you've captured his ages perfectly. Rose/Rosie is just the perfect combination of both her mother and father. It's hilarious.
Al's encounter with Faith was so hilarious. I really like her character and I hope she pops up again; I love how blunt she is. I think she would be a bit too much in large quantities though.
So, great start. I love how Al decides to make it his mission to bring respect back to Slytherin and I can't wait to read on.
LorrenAuthor's Response: Thank you!
>I think she would be a bit too much in large quantities though.
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
This was a brilliant chapter! So far I've just been listening and reviewing at HPPC, but I couldn't wait for the next update because I love Al so much! All the characters are so endearing. The slytherin house is so much fun to read about and Al is a lovely main character.
I was cracking up so often in this chapter. I really love the length of your chapters too. I felt like a lot happened in this one and there was lots of plot development. Poor Al, I really wish Scorpius would stop being so awful to him :(
I love all the little magical things you add in, they really make the story seem real.
All the characterizations are brilliant and it's really fun to read! I love your OCs, Lew seems pretty cool and Faith was hillarious when she was telling her story about Queen, whilst Kitty laughed.
Poor Al, he's so small with such an epic plan ahead of him. I really hope he does make Score his friend!
Thanks for posting this, I loved reading it, it's truley inspired! So funny!
~ HelenaAuthor's Response: Thank you very much :) It's nice to know I have such ardent fans.
>I really love the length of your chapters too.
Thank you! I worry sometimes that I make them too long and I should split them up, so it's very nice to hear someone say otherwise.
I hope you enjoy (ed?) the rest and I do hope you keep listening to the podcast, Scooterbug's very good.
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S THE END?
When I saw the title 'epilogue' I just assumed, as per usual, that you were playing some sort of mind game on us (again). Haven't ruled it out yet but only thing preventing a minor meltdown at the prospect of no more Avery, Faith, snarky Scor and adorable, evil Al is the fact that you have CLEARLY, obviously, without any room for doubt built this up to a sequel. That is NOT a question (you and your Slytherin-ness have been a terrible influence on me)
Before I even get to an apology for how absent I have been or attempt to review this chapter, just can't quite remember if I ever nagged you to read anything by Slide? She's like an older, darker you with more emphasis on war than humour, but she's unsurpassed in writing Slytherin minor characters and if you stalk my favourite authors you'll lose a large chunk of your life in bliss :P
Ok to the REVIEW - wow, this was a packed chapter! Absolutely loved Harry trying and fitting in with the Slytherins, and positively cackled at
"Is this a Slytherin thing? They see a tall, clever, dark-haired boy and immediately decide he's their king?"
I like that Vic did not, in fact win, Lia and Grimm were hilarious as always.. and wait - WHAT ABOUT AVERY? Is he getting at least a oneshot.. guest appearances in the sixth/seventh year fic? I'm dying of curiosity as to how the dynamics will have changed in the time between - I think you've got SUCH rich potential for a then-and-now comparison that it would be shame to let it go. Just putting it out there, no ulterior motivation whatsoever, all innocent lambkins for the good of ff here.
Anyway - thankyou my dear for many hours of fun! Your story was brilliant, original and hilarious from start to finish, with some of the most vivid characters I have come across in the site. Well done!Author's Response: >When I saw the title 'epilogue' I just assumed, as per usual, that you were playing some sort of mind game on us (again).
I told Scooterbug a while ago that I was planning to have Al be eaten by dementors and she thought I might be serious. Nobody believes me when I'm serious and everyone believes me when I'm joking, this makes no sense :(
I DO mean to write a sequel! Not sure what on, and there's an astonishing number of other plotbunnies of varying sorts suddenly leaping up to bite me in the ass, but that's definitely the plan.
Not read Slide, no. I'll check her stuff out. Thank you for the recommendation!
Oh, Avery? He dies. Eaten by a rhinoceros. Tragic, really.
Nah, just kidding, he'll be fine.
No, thank YOU for all the lovely thorough reviews. I've really appreciated all of them :) And thank you very much for the compliments! Report Review
Aw... It's over? Already? :(
All I have to say here is that you are an awesome writer with an absolutely THRILLING sense of humor, and that I can't WAIT for you to write something else, because this story was INCREDIBLE. :)
Now get cracking and start writing more stuff for my reading pleasure, please! :PAuthor's Response: I'm working on some edits to this at the mo, but hey, there's going to be a few new chapters. And after that, maybe a sequel?
Thank you very much for the review, and for all your reviews *hug* I've really enjoyed having you as a reviewer and I'm glad you liked it.
If I wasn't such a procrastinator, I'd have reviewed this chapter the day it came out. My excuse is that I had to let it sink in that it's OVER. Although of course, there's that huge opening at the end that leaves tons of room for a sequel. Or, you know, a seven-story series detailing the different years of Al and Score's Hogwarts friendship.
Not that I'm suggesting anything. Just throwing that out there casually with no meaning whatsoever.
I love how Scorpius and Al's interactions changed in this chapter, like it WASN'T a huge struggle for them to wind up friends in the end. I also loved Harry's extreme prejudice despite how he always tells Al he's okay with his Slytherin...ness.
And the line comparing Avery to Voldemort was genius, if not completely unfair because Avery is much too lovely to be Voldemort. Even if he did become the next Dark Lord, he would somehow make it seem less evil and more logical, cause that's how he is.
Anyway, I'm rambling, so I'll just end by saying that I loved the story while it lasted and would definitely not object to more.Author's Response: Hey, it's better to get a good review later than to get a less good one right away, right?
Oh yeah you're not suspicious at all.
Thank you very much! And yes, Harry's terrible - but he tries, the poor lamb.
AVERY: I have decided to take over the country. Ladies and gentlemen of wizarding Britain, I am now your king.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF WIZARDING BRITAIN: Okay.
Thank you very much!
Well now, that was fun. I do hope there will be more. You have created some very entertaining characters. Will you be doing a second year? Or skipping straight to sixth year? I really enjoyed Al's dad's reaction to the slytherins. Also I would very much like to have my own giant girl who would hit anyone that looked at me funny. On that, is Faith in any way related to Hagrid?Author's Response: Thank you!
I don't know which yet, though I'm leaning towards second year.
Related to Hagrid? No, unless you count that the giantess a few generations back in Faith's ancestry may be related to Hagrid's mum. (Seriously, good catch. Are you a master detective or something?)
Thank you for the review! Report Review
This was very good! I cracked up at Lia and Grim chattering at Harry. Hillarious! The competition part had me on the edge of my seat. The victor was a true surprise! I'm sad that this story is at an end, but alas all good things must come to an end I suppose. Do you have plans for a sequal of sorts? I hope you do! Love always and 10/10!Author's Response: Yay! Thank you!
I just feel so sorry for the French, everyone thinks they're such a bunch of losers. Poor them.
Plans... of sorts may be the best way of putting it. I expect I'll make the forum come up with something for me.
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Cute, very cute. The ending leaves you with a hint of more to come...er, at least I hope there's more to come. I quite enjoyed reading this. It gave me something to look forward to on break.
Keep up the good work.Author's Response: I hope so too, it's just a matter of figuring out what the plot is.
I'm really glad you liked it, and thank you! Report Review
Gah! I had sworne I had read this! I am incredibly late in reading this but it was fantastic and I'm so excited to have another chapter waiting for me to read! Hufflepuff is the next Dark Lord BRILLIANT! We shall kill with kindness! Anyway I hope you didn't think I forgot about you. I'm hoping to sit down here in the near furtre and record chapter 4.Author's Response: ...chapter four? That implies there's a chapter three already done...
OH MY GOD. We're just as bad as each other ;_;
You're going to smother the nonbelievers in flowers, I know (nonhuggers? what's the Hufflepuff term for non-Hufflepuffs? requesting a reprieve for the Slytherins, anyway.)
Glad you liked it! Report Review
I saw that there was a new chapter of Epic Plan and went berserk. And I do mean that slightly literally; I did a very typical sort of hop-skip-jump that turned into a crash-bang-wallop and decapitated a small Ikea lamp.
Happily I fixed it. BUT that is not important. I now present to you a numbered list of things I ABSOLUTELY LOVED TO BITS about this chapter.
1. 'Malfoy's primping!'
2. 'Nobody reave Townsend,'
3. 'Don't dissect the school, Harper,' Score ordered. 'You'll lose us house points.'
4. THE WHOLE TASK. It was so OMG!well written. Those were the best thought-up beasties and trials I've seen outside of JKR's own words. I actually, genuinely felt scared for Oksana and Victoire quite a few times. The whispering gave me the heebie-jeebies!
5. Anthoine dangling from the tower at the end while everyone just goes about their stuff, because Hogwarts hath no regard for health and safety.
6. Just the sort of chapteryness in general.
7. Actually, make that 'the whole chapter'.
8. Oh, and Avery is my favourite. He's so wise and sage-y and distinguished.
This story will be missed. You took Al and Scorpius and made them into entirely loveable and believable people, _didn't_ pair Scorpius with Rose and still made one heck of a story out of it. *fanfare*
(And another entirely unrelated and mad thing. Have you ever realised how good your penname is to sing to the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars? Don't ask how I found that out..)
/long review. *tragic look of tortured angst at the realisation that this is the end of the story*
-ps/ahoythere.Author's Response: PEPPERSWEET.
Whoops, sorry about the lamp.
Yay! Thank you! I wasn't expecting to give anyone heebie-jeebies, but it's nice to know I did! I hope you were horribly creeped out and had traumatizing nightmares.
Pep-per-sweet pep-per-sweet pep-per-sweet - yours isn't so bad either, until it gets to the complicated bit. You can guess how I figured that out.
You never know, there might be a sequel. It is a mystery. :P
I loved your story, espacially the supporting characters like avery, rookwood, faith and grim.
You have to continue and write a sequel. You just have to...Author's Response: I'll do my best. Thank you very much!
Is there going to be a sequel? Seriously, I'm gonna miss this silly thing. I loved it, but it felt like too soon of an end. Maybe the next Triwizard Tournament?Author's Response: I'd love to do a sequel, but I'm not sure what on yet.
Thanks very much! Report Review
OK I will allow you not to be a fan-fiction writing Zombie but you're younger than me so let's try this...
Look into my eyes, you are growing sleepy (etc. etc.)
Say after me "I will keep writing this until Susannah is so old and feeble-minded that she won't know I've stopped!"
OK, you can wake up now.Author's Response: *z*
Oh, damn, Susannah, I think you hypnotized me too hard. Better luck next time.
:P Report Review
oh and just to say...
if this is then end...
then you might wanna change the status to complete?
thanks - you have an amazing style
please please please continue/write a sequel
xxAuthor's Response: Well, there are some things I want to change and I don't know if I can do that if it's been marked as Complete. Guess I need to find out.
Thank you very much! Report Review
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