Wow! Another really powerful chapter, I can tell the story is building up to the end, and I'm kind of torn by that feeling. I want to reach the end, but I don't want it to end.
I thought the emotions you are dealing with in this chapter are very raw, very intense and extremely well written. The atmosphere throughout is brilliantly maintained and just beautiful to read, even if it is so sad! The emotions are all perfectly within character and I think you have a real knack for these kinds of scenes.
I found the detail and depth of their preparations reassuring, I was very panicked when I heard mouldy voldy change the plan! This, followed by Harry and Ron's discussion on the beach helped reassure me that it may not be as bad as I first thought! It was deep, yet retained that friendly side to it that we know and love. Although, knowing your knack for twists I wouldn't be surprised if there were more to come!
But WOW! Harry's response to the DA was exactly what I was thinking, but then the raw power he displayed, it was just a brilliant way to end this chapter and begin the build up for what I imagine will be an epic final battle!Author's Response: In many ways this tale really is about Ron and hermione, as is made clear in this chapter. The angst their going through here I just knew had to be addressed more thoroughly: Hermione's dread at losing her friends again, Ron's guilt over leaving her behind. Ugh! I am just not a nice person to do this to them, am I?
Again, I can't tell you how flattered I am by all the praise and you always seem to pick up on precisely the themes I was battering away at in each chapter. That's really great!
Harry is fed up, he's tired, he's done and he wants this OVER. God help anyone who gets in his way.
Eldy Report Review
This is a very well written chapter with some truly brutal scenes of the war taking place. It was such a dark and depressing chapter but I really enjoyed it, in a weird way. The intricacies and details of the battle are stunning, and it is brilliantly written.
Maxime's dedication to the process she started is trully touching and the unknown arrival of Ronnie is adding an extra layer of tension to the story, which is making it even more interesting to read.
You really captured the moment well when they were all apologising to each other. It's important to clear the air like that, especially when you've been building up for a big battle, so that was lovely to have included.
OH NOES! Another aerial battle! You write these so well but I have my heart in my mouth for the whole time theres a battle going on and it doesn't half get me panicky when it doesn't all go smoothly! But my! Hermione can fly now can't she! That was very good to see her finally developing those skills. And Ron and Ginny - what a team they make!
But the Inferi Army - now they are scary! They are like this semi indestructible, all consuming force threatening everything in their path. It's quite terrifying to imagine those scenes which you make so vivid through your writing.
Another fantastic chapter, I don't want this story to end!Author's Response: I think this is about my absolute favorite battle scene ever.
I liked keeping it dark in the begining, carrying over the desperation of the last several chapters and then just letting the Quartet kick some major death eater posterior!
I'm pleased as firewhiskey that you liked it ;)
Only two chapters left!
Eldy Report Review
And so I finally review this chapter which I read so long ago and remember you asking for the AN at the end :) And boy am I glad I have read it in sequence now! Can I thank you for the AN, it's a huge honour to have you tell people to read my work, but also, can I say how well you used the idea in this story, it fits beautifully.
I loved seeing Draco and dearest Narcissa at the start of this chapter. Miss Greengrass? Now she sounds like a little love interest for Draco, I'd love to hear her back story! But blimey! Isn't Narcissa a force to be reckoned with? Everyone always plummed for Bellatrix but I think Narcissa is infinitely more evil, she would do anthing to protect her men.
Now, this may sound odd, but for some reason, the more I read about the wizarding world in this reality, the more I am reminded of Nazi Germany during WWII. It's a dark and desolate place with no trust and it's truly brutal what is happening, and it just reminds me very vividly of the attrocities Hitler carried out.
The clandestine meeting of the remaining DA was very well written, even if there were only 3, they seem to be quite distant and lacking the unity the DA used to have. But I suppose that's a sign of the times, although it was nice to see some were still alive. However I would never have had Dennis down as a traitor! He was always so loyal to Harry I though it would be Zach or Maria who would be more fickle, but again, this part was wonderfully written, as was the new Horcrux.
I am now very worried about our quartet as it's inevitable the plan will be a tad scuppered but mouldy Voldy's new Horcrux and the reinforcements heading for Dover :/ I'm desperate to read on some more but alas, it is 12.20am and my battery has about 6% left. So until the morrow, another fantastic chapter, and I will finish reading this story tomorrow! I cannot wait!Author's Response: Yes! this is your chapter. I can't thank you enough for letting me barrow that imperio flourish. Yikes! But that was a wonderfully diabolical idea you came up with. Thanks again!
Given the lengths that Narcissa went to in the books to protect her fam, it seemed to me that, if Voldy had won, she would've done the same, just with much more nasty results. I'm glad you agree.
This is one of the few chapters in which I get to show just how horrible the AU has become, so I packed as much dark stuff in there as I could. If it had a nazi feel to it, that's great (well not "great") but it was what I was aiming for.
Dennis the traitor! I couldn't help myself there. Zack would've been just so obvious and Dennis, bless him, did have a good, albeit misguided, reason to do it.
Thanks again not only for your review but for letting me barrow your great idea.
P.S. I may get around to writing what happened to Greengrass, or to her relationship with Draco. I have a feeling it was VERY ugly/evil. Report Review
Darn you for writing such addictive fiction! My early night to be up to watch the Royal Wedding tomorrow from the very first coverage is totally ruined! Not that I mind that much cause this is a FANTASTIC story!
The pain and concern felt by Harry is truly written in an exquisite style, it's just perfectly balanced to portray the raw emotions and the pain of Harry in enough detail, but without making it totally angsty beyond belief. Their memory of their first time together was a beautiful addition here, the humour and the deep love they felt mixed together perfectly, and I think it probably was spot on the average first time for most people ie with the same worries etc.
But darn you again because when Harry started pleading with her you made me cry :'( I love this pairing and I hate to consider that they would be parted in anyway before they could be happy! But the argument that followed was epic and wonderfully written. They all needed an emotional release from the tension, and in the long run I feel like it will have done them all good.
But the chain vanished! I did wonder whether it was because they said Horcrux but then I read along further. Little Ronnie was so cute, and he fitted in lovely with the Weasley's, and they were so close to going with him! Grr! What a shame he had to go back on his own :( I'm all worried for him now. Where does he turn up? Will he find his mummy? Loads of questions filling me mind! But that was a fabulous link to Fred at the end of the chapter, really brought home the emotions involved.
I'm off for the next chapter and I'm praying it doesn't end on a cliff hanger like this one so that I can actually get some sleep tonight!Author's Response: Harry's brood over Ginny always gets me too. I'm glad you thought it wasn't overdone (or underdone, for that matter).
But its the fight in this chapter that was my favorite. I wanted to see just how bad it could get and I figured with this set up I could really have them going at it full tilt.
Harry's a reluctant hero this time; he really doesn't want to be here. Hermione's too overwhelmed by the memory of Ron's death that having him back has completely gotten her out of character. Ron can't bear to see Hermione hurt, so he doesn't correct the behavior that he knows could get them all hurt.
Ginny is the glue that's holding everything together. But when Hermione's behavior results in that "glue" being removed, all heck breaks loose.
Ronnie; that whole scene at the Burrow was one of my favorites, although I hated doing that to Molly. Now, where did he go? Well, if you skipped the wedding, I think you already know ;)
Eldy Report Review
WOWZERS! See, there's that word again, twice in one story makes it pretty amzing ;)
That was a FANTASTIC chapter! Absolutely stunning and brilliant to read heart in mouth action. At the start it felt like we'd settled back into the routine from the Horcrux hunts of DH. There was a sense of routine, despite a higher threat level to deal with and be aware of.
I must admit, the lovesick Hermione and Ron are a little annoying, and they are beginning to worry me cause I think there's more of the 'Mione' in there than Hermione! And to see what your Carrows were doing! They're even worse than mine! Would love to see them get their comeuppance ;) But I loved the inclusion of a good Snape, he is my favourite baddy turned goody ;)
But OH EM GEE! The Inferi! The Death Eaters! Ginny! EEEK! I had my heart pounding so much I could barely read. When the link severed I thought she was dead, my eyes welled up, and to see her injured was so heart wrenching, not least for Harry's reaction to it. This whole chapter, but particularly this part was extremely well written, congratulations! I really especially liked Harry telling Ron to sort Hermione out, that was really needed, a little harsh you might say on Harry's side, but it needed to be done.
And YAY! Umbridge getting some comeuppance! Now that I really did enjoy, I almost laughed actually, but I was always taught a little 'Schadenfreude' was a good thing in small doses!
Anyway, enough from me, I'm too anxious to read on! It was fabulous! Keep it up :)Author's Response: During World War 2, the allies launched a huge amphibious raid near the town of Dieppe. It was a disaster. It was for that reason that I chose it for the site of this chapter.
Yep, Harry's worst fear has nearly come to pass and, unfortunately, its largely due to Hermione being off her game and Ron not preventing it. Yes, there is more 'Mione than Hermione at work here. The problem is the memories of Ron's death are just too strong, that they are dominating the merged Hermione's personality.
And all this leads to Harry, for the first time I can remember, being really and truly angry with her. It will only get worse in the next chapter.
My ego is expanding exponentially with all the praise you're heaping on me here. I really can't thank you enough.
P.S. nearly forgot, I'm glad you liked the Snape scene. I just couldn't resist having him come to the rescue. Just seems to me that he couldn'l look at Gin and not see Lily. Report Review
I'm back! Finished most of my chores and treating myself to some of your delightful writing before I go to bed ;)
I loved the start, with Harry doing Ginny's hair, I just thought it was so romantic and cute. And the juxtaposition with his wanting to trust she'll be ok and not smother her, with his urge to wrap her in cotton wool was really well written throughout the entire chapter.
Harry trying to hint at Ron reminded me so much of when he used to try and suffocate Lavender Brown with his intense kissing sessions ;) It was a real comical moment for me and added some light relief.
The Battle of the Pitch (which I'm off to read once I've finished this story) was excellently summarised from Harry's POV and was very well written. You seem to have a wonderful knack for writing action scenes in a perfect balance which makes them exciting, yet understandable and still be compulsive reading.
Those wards are an absolute nightmare! I just have horrible premonitions that someone else is going to get hurt in them and I'll end up crying again, but I'll keep everything crossed! A brilliant device you've come up with though to express the thought that they are trapped. It was lovely to see them all planning their escape routes together though, very reminiscent of DH and the Horcrux Hunt, only on a much greater scale and with a lot more danger involved.
I really liked the references to the DA and the coins again. I always smile when I see aspects of canon I know like this as it makes the stories more believable and make me know that the whole wizarding world is still ongoing :) I'm really intrigued to find out who it is and whether the blood protection will work!
Another great chapter, I'm off for a few more before bed so that I can finish the story tomorrow ;)Author's Response: I have a huge weakness for long hair; I make a point of brushing my wife's anytime I get. I thought it would be a nice flourish to Ginny and Harry's relationship. And, as protective as Harry would like to be of Ginny, he knows he can't cage her. But, by the same token, if anything happens to her, it would crush him. Tough situation.
The Battle of the Pitch was never supposed to be anything more than a justification as to why the witches were trained as Aurors. I never dreamt it would become a story of its own. Strange how these things happen.
Thanks for praising the Teeth - probably my most original flourish. they are nasty and, at times, caused me a great deal of trouble as I tried to figure out how the characters can escape them. A little too effective. Lol!
Glad you're liking the canon stuff I've thrown in here. Those are the kind of flourishes I really like that other authors do as well. Like the wizard talk "sitting gnomes", Merlin's twins and the like.
I hope you'll get a kick out of the surviving DA members - that took some doing as I'd killed nearly everyone off in Clocks.
Thanks again for the great review, on to the next.
Eldy Report Review
Firstly, to answer the title question, just one for me please!
But OH MY LIFE! The merged! I had not even contemplated the possibility of them merging, it just hit me like a bolt from the blue! I was like.OMG!!! Sorry, I'll calm down now ;) That was such a fantastic idea though! Such a brilliant twist that was just, well, just, outstanding if I'm honest, I really loved it!
I had a good little chuckle at some of your phrasing in this chapter. I love how you've got the wizarding speech down to a tee, but 'sitting gnomes' is one of the best things I've ever heard, and I actually talk like a wizard most of the time!
I thought it was really good to bring in Harry's frustration. He's always been one that once his head is 'in the game' and he's on a Riddle hunt he doesn't break his focus and wants that same level of dedication from everyone else. I thought you wrote this bit really well, and you got the balance just right.
The confusion of emotions that the two Hermione's are feeling whilst in the one body is excellently written. It must be so confusing and painful for her, and you really caught the balance and the edge that this needed to be believable and enjoyable, if those are the right words.
I really enjoyed this chapter, a little more of a calm before the storm feeling going on, but I'll just have to carry on reading and see ;)Author's Response: Gotcha! hehehe. The merge was not part of the original plan, so the characters weren't the only ones who thought that there'd be two hermiones through this whole story! It just kind of hit me - out of the blue, to steal your phrase. And I liked the idea so I ran with it.
Poor Harry, here he is thinking he's almost solved one problem (dealing with two hostile hermiones) when he gets a whole new problem (a lovesick hermione and a ron who can't stand to see her hurt). I really don't give harry much of a break in this tale do I?
I'm glad you think I've got Harry's reactions down. As well as the merged Hermione. She went through so much in clocks that now, having her ron back, would, again, throw her off her game. I was counting on the "emotionality" of Ron's death in Clocks to make this believable and I'm, once again, very glad you think it works.
Love these reviews.
Eldy Report Review
A brilliant high action chapter, it started like it, ended like it, and was just a brilliant read! I found myself skipping bits cause I was so eager to reach the end and find out what was happening!
I love the idea of the Hit Wizards, it's just so out the box I would never have thought to have another elite force in the Ministry, although when I look at the army etc, I suppose it would be inevitable in the wizarding world too!
It was good to see some old faces appearing, like McGonagall and Dumbledore, you know how I like my portaits being given a chance to get in on the action ;)
The airborne battle, and the time in the Acromantula's den was brilliant to read, I love a bit of drama, but those spiders don't half freak me out, I was shuddering as I was reading! Like Ron, I have a real 'thing' about spiders ;)
It was lovely to finally see the Hermione's getting on with each other, even if it was short lived because of the Talisman! I'm so excited to see where this story is going that I have abandoned hope of writing anything of my own today and devoting the time to read yours because I am so incredibly hooked that I just cannot stop reading!
That said, I'm off for another chapter, and if my mother kills me because I abandoned my chores too I'm blaming you ;)Author's Response: This action-chapter happened for two reasons: First, the previous three chapters were heavy on exposition - very. they were also fairly emotionally draining. Second, a trip to Hogwarts almost ALWAYS requires a long exposition chapter.
So, I decided to launch an attack that would prevent everyone from sitting in McG's office and having a Long talk over tea. It really seemed the only solution as to how to make this an action and not ANOTHER expo chapter. So, in short, I cheated. I created a rivalry between the hit wizards and the aurors (one that I capitalize on and expand/explain in more detail in "Battle of the Pitch").
I'm glad you liked the result. And, hehehe, yep, in retrospect, I can see how you'd like the portraits getting their time in the sun.
As for the spiders, I'm right there with you and Ron. Argg!
So, now I'm getting you in trouble with your mum, eh? I refuse to take the blame. ;)
Eldy Report Review
Another very very good chapter :) I really enjoyed this one, I think it's seeing a bit of the old Harry, a lot of canon and some brilliant new references to the other reality :)
I love how Mione has to almost pinch herself and remind herself that she's in a different reality. It must be so hard for her to see them all happy when, in her mind, they're all dead. The sniping between them both is brilliant. It's just such a 'Hermione' thing to do that to have them together is brilliant, they almost bounce off one another.
Their uncertainty worries me, and it makes me wonder if things will go badly wrong once they get to Mione's reality, but I have everything crossed that it won't! The apprehension it builds is, in a strange way, quite nice, but scary at the same time, so I'm looking forward to reading on and seeing what happens!
Harry's formality and dominance with them both was really good to read, and very well written. He is really grasping at straws to try and keep the 'fragile' peace that has been established, but you just know that, as Hermione is such a unique character it will blow up at some point, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this truce progresses!
Overall, I think you;ve got another brilliamt chapter, you've woven the canon of JKR with Neville and the sword in brilliantly with the AU of Mione's reality. It's truly seamless and really does have a certain subtlty about it that is, I assume, very hard to write, so congratulations :)Author's Response: This chapter was a bit of a breather, but I needed to fill in some more holes and show that the canon-characters have matured quite a bit. They're responsible adults now and Harry has been leading the Aurors for nearly three years, with Ron's help, so they're not about to just make this up as they go.
I thought it was vital that Harry revert to his role of leader and straighten out the two Hermiones before they left.
Now, will things go pear-shaped? Nope. All smooth sailing from here on out.
and if you believe that...
Another brilliantly written chapter :) I'm running out of positive vocabulary to parise you with, I think I need to go and swallow a thesaurus!
I really enjoyed Molly popping up at the start of the chapter, it shows there is still another 'world' outside the quartet, and it's such a Molly thing to do!
Harry's emotions at the start of this chapter and his following outburst and outpouring to Ron was brilliantly written. Life is all about choices and Harry never really had choices. To him, he's always been a child, adults telling him what to do or where to be, he never got to make his own real choices. And finally, when he can 'live' again, he can't because, and this was a fantastic line which I LOVED! - 'Even a reality away he (Riddle) still bollocks things up' - That bit is just fantastic!
Ginny's anger was brilliantly written, I don't know about you but I always have much more fun writing a fiesty, angry Ginny rather than the normal Ginny with nothing more than an essay on her mind!
Ron's display of understanding emotion was really good to see. He's no longer a teaspoon, but a tablesppon or a ladel perhaps! It was brilliantly written and he really did know how she felt, and that was lovely to see!
Well, as I'm running out of things to say I'm off for another quick chapter before I have to organise the ironing fairies :( I'll be back though!! ;)Author's Response: Harry's brood/monologue is about my favorite part of this whole story - unfortunately I get mixed reviews on it. So many folks out there hate "Emo Harry." But, I can never get enough of it.
Flattered beyond all measure that you like it.
His growth and healing since the war is all do to Ginny - this gets addressed in this tale and again in "Journey of a thousand miles" and "Battle of the Pitch." Their love story is one I like delving into quite a bit, from this "healing" angle. It helps that she, occasionally, gives Harry a "smack" to the psyche, to help keep him on track. I agree, a fiesty Ginny is more fun to write (and is always better for Harry - he needs that)
Ron and hermione's relationship, on the other hand, is more of a rollercoaster ride (more like my own LOL!). And, although Ron has come a long way (laddle - ROFL) he's still Ron. hence him getting slapped at the end of that brilliant speech (another of my favorite parts of this story - your pointing out all my favorite stuff is making this a real joy to read!).
Great reviews, no question. Where HAVE you been for the past year! ;) Just kidding. It is really great to have you back.
I really did love this until you put Ron's death in and you made me cry again! Although I fully understand why it was needed, so don't worry, I'm not mad at you ;)
I still loved your writing! It was a good touch to have them fighting each other, and the wandless power was rather interesting to see also.
The tense atmosphere that was in the cottage was almost tangible in my house as I read the story, I felt like I could hold out a knife and cut it where I sat, which was brilliant for it to be so personal and intense for the reader.
I really think you got the characterisation spot on again, especially Hermione as she would have a whole whirlwind of emotion going on and you managed to keep it clear and effective.
The chain Legilimens was a brilliant touch, I really enjoyed that, it kind of makes more sense than a pensieve or something similar. Sharing common memories of Mione and Hermione before their reality split was a great touch to make it clear that they are the same person, it just split further along the line and that was really well written.
As much as I hated reading Ron's death again, it needed to be there for anyone reading this as a standalone as I think it this story is much better having read stop all the clocks, but even those of us who've read it more than once need the little reminders here and there!
I'm really intrigued with how this whole reality mixing is going to work and how it's all going to work out. You've got my mind going over time and I'm really looking forward to reading more so off I go ;)
Til the next review ;)Author's Response: This chapter makes or breaks the tale. So, I'm really glad you liked how it played out. Everything comes down to this.
You picked right up on one of the key things I did with this story. It's written for two audiences. Those who read Clocks and those who didn't.
For the Clocks crew, the first chapter would've made sense (horrid tho it was) but the second chapter, I hoped, would've been a bit of a shocker, what with Ron alive and all. Regardless, for both sets of readers, I had to establish the canon-reality characters. That's why 'Mione disappears after the first chapter and doesn't really come back until now.
In fact, the entire idea for a sequel to Clocks came from the sharp image I got of the Hermione from Clocks running into the arms of a canon-universe Ron, only for the canon-Universe Hermione to walk in on them and then all heck breaks loose. So, in short, all the previous chapters were just set up for this one crucial scene.
The possibility of the realities merging is more fully played-with later on. And I had a great deal of fun toying with it.
Characterizations. I'm glad you like how that's playing out. I figure Harry and Ginny's characterizations here were pretty much JKRish, so I didn't have to stretch (but it was still a blast writing them!) Ron and especially both the Hermiones were MUCH harder.
'Mione, though still level headed and wise beyond her years, is just completely at a loss at having Ron back and alive.
Ron has matured and grown, but had absolutely no clue how to handle a situation where someone who, for all practical intents and purposes, is his Hermione, but has been put through the ringer.
Hermione - well, despite being the brightest witch of her age, she's been thrown for a rather nasty loop. Ron has finally grown into the man she always knew he could become - she's engaged, her career is going gangbusters and everything is right with the world...Then another version of herself shows up and her world is turned upside down. I just figured that even our logical Hermione would not function very logically when she's faced with the prospect of losing her hard-fought-for fiance to...well, herself. I get comments that she's acting out of character, and, I suppose she is to a degree. But it just occurred to me that if anything would knock our oft-times jealous Hermione off-kilter, this would do it.
Having a blast reading your reviews. Really made my week!
Eldy Report Review
Another fantastic chapter! I loved the revelling at the party, and the time the respective kids spent with their parents was brilliantly written and a fabulous touch. Being my daddy's little girl and knowing how protective he can be I think you really got the nail on the head with the speeches given by the fathers. They were lovely to read and really written sensitively, and with real empathy that was a delight to see.
Molly and Kathy telling them all about how to be 'proper' wives did make me giggle, cause I know that's what I'll be like if I am ever graced with a little girl, so it's really lovely to see all the muggle 'ways' mixed in with the wizarding world. It's beautifully woven together and is seamless.
I LOVE their uncontrollable urges, sneaking off to Shell Cottage, and Bill nearly walking in; perfect bit of humour to shake off the last of the lovey dovey bits and remind us what they're really like! Ron really is fantastically written, as I can imagine several big brothers would be mortified by hearing those noises!
But.duh duh duh! Hermione, with a baby.it could only be from the first chapter! Aha! I get it now! I actually thought you would do something much worse and have some last resurgence of Death Eater's crashing the party, but this was a shocker in itself! A reminder that in a paralell universe life isn't so peachy, and I cannot wait to see how this twist progresses!
Another brilliant chapter, cliff hanger, and looking forward to the next ones! Well done on hooking me, I was watching the Snooker World Champs but I've had to minimise it, listen to commentary and carry on reading this instead, you've hooked me proper this time!!Author's Response: Thanks for the praise of the family dynamic here and the father's speeches - I'm dreading having to give one like that. Hopefully we can put that day off - for 30 or 40 years ;)
Glad you're liking the little flourishes too, like Ron's "not listening" line - hehehe.
Yep. Parallell (Sp?) universes - that was really the only way I could find to fix everything I broke in Clocks. But, before I give too much away...
Thanks so much for this awesome review! And I'm glad I've got you rivetted.
Eldy Report Review
I love this chapter, it's so loving, and the connection between the love and the strength of their magic was a lovely touch, one I may come begging for in the future!
The relationships between the four of them are so accurate, you would think you were actually Ron or Harry and writing this from your own experiences. I love the way you have the girls, and the boys, and they each do their own things but are still together, if that makes sense?
However, even before the guys mentioned their concerns I had this strange feeling of calm before the storm. I can just imagine it all going pear shaped again in the next chapter and you spoiling the happy ending I have already got planned in my head!
This is a lovely chapter, smoothing things out, calming down the pace, a nice way to progress with a smile as I always put it! I'm a little apprehensive about reading on though because I just can't shake this feeling that something is about to happen.Author's Response: This chapter is one of my all time favorites just because the characters get to be "off the clock" pun intended. They just get to be themselves without anyone trying to kill them.
I always liked that scene in Half Blood Prince when the Quartet are sitting in the common room, Ginny leaning up against Harry's knees reading the Prophet and their all joking around. I wanted somthing like that only more of it. I figured they deserved it.
I prefer post hogwarts fic that includes the quartet as opposed to being limited to just R/Hr or H/G - putting all four of them together's is just more fun, in my humble opinion.
Again, I'm really glad you like it!
Pear shaped. Why would you ever think I would go and do somthing like that during their well-deserved vacation? ;) Report Review
This is yet another outstanding piece of writing from you!
It had all the pace, mini cliff hangers, heart in mouth moments and joy something like this should have in absolute perfect balance. I actually, and believe me, I've looked hard, cannot find anything I could criticise with anything you have written. You are simply an outstanding and truly gifted author, and it's sheer delight to read anything you write.
Anyway, back to the chapter, the characterisation is, once again, spot on. You seem to 'know' Ron so well and can write him perfectly. I'm finding it very easy to read, it flows, holds your interest and pulls you towards the end. Just fantastic, it really is.
My mum would love to meet you because you're writing does one thing that very rarely happens to me, it makes me speechless ;) It's an honour to read your work for free on here, because I would gladly pay for a hardback version of this and queue for hours.
Fabulous, well done!Author's Response: Ok. Blushing here. A Lot.
This is one of my favorite chapters as it is the birth of my version of Ron and Harry as "buddy cops," which has kind of become my niche these days.
Characterization of Ron is always difficult to a degree - trying to let him be more mature, but still "Ron" takes a little doing. However, after Clocks it started to come a lot easier.
So, you're mum's looking for a way to shut you up, eh? LOL.
Again, I really can't thank you for all the praise. And its really a pleasure for me to get reviews like this from one of the original fans of Clocks. That means a lot.
Eldy Report Review
Again another stunning chapter! No question about it!
I must admit I am a little confused how it's all peachy again (well, as peachy as it could get) but I'm sure you'll clear that up for me as I get further through, I'm imagining it has something to do with the little spell in Olympe's office back at Beauxbatons, but I'll figure it out ;)
But now for the praise, which is inevitable in everything I read of yours! Your characterisation is absolutely spot on, some of the best I've read on this site in the nearly five years I've been perusing stories. Lee's comments on the biscuit brigade absolutely tickled me, but then I'm a secret biscuit brigade member myself!
I am absolutely loving the connections between the couples, particularly Harry and Ginny and their mind connection, I'm looking forward to seeing that develop throughout the story, as I am looking forward to reading more of their Auror antics!
I much prefer the longer chapters in this story, I'm one who loves detail, and you're giving it to me with every little minute piece, and a cherry on top, and I love you for it!
Overall, another EXCELLENT chapter! You've blown me over, as usual, and made me thoroughly enthralled with your story. I'll be back for more reviews and I am praying for a happy ending this time!
Keep writing Eldy, you're gifted.Author's Response: From one member of the Biscuit Brigade to another, cheers!
Yes, the shift from chapter 1 to chapter 2 is pretty abrupt, but all becomes clear by the end of chapter 5. I promise.
Until I wrote Crusade I'd only experimented a bit with Harry and Ginny so it was a bit of a leap to take them on in this tale. I'm really flattered that you liked it.
As for details, I promise a lot more are on the way. However, since this story takes place four years after the Battle of Hogwarts, I've taken a lot of what happened in those four years for granted. I've just started to fill in, in more detail, what happened before Crusade and that's where the Crusadiverse has come from.
Again, I'm blown away by this tremendous review. Thanks!
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And that is not a word I use very often! This was utterly fantastic. You weaved so many different strands of your own universe and basic aspects of canon together so skillfully, I actually found myself questioning JKR's version of the Battle of Hogwarts.
The emotions portrayed are just stunning, as is the detail and the description. Absolutely stunning writing, as usual!
I'm suprised how much I enjoy your writing, and I mean that in the most positive way, because you know what a stickler I am for canon, but this is just something else. You write so well you make me ignore all my normal 'dislikes' of a story and overwhelm me with the power of your writing.
This is a fantastic start to a continuation of your own universe, and I truly cannot wait to read more!
You have a fantastic talent Eldy, and you really deserve to have stunning reviews!
LilyAuthor's Response: Lily!!
I can't even begin to tell you how psyched I am that you're reading Crusade. You were my first big supporter years ago and to have you back reading this is just awesome.
And this review is simply amazing.
I wanted to start Crusade off with a bang; really the only way to do it to win over folks that don't like non-Canon, AU type stuff. I'm really thrilled you think it works.
Again, great to have you back!
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Six times haha? They might be a spot drowsy in the morning haha.
I love how multidimensional Hermione's motives might be; I hadn't really considered what would happen yet when things were fixed! Clearly you've put some serious forethought into this, something I should do more of in my HPFF writing. I'm just not used to writing stories so long, it really is so different from writing short stories.
Anyway, just when I was starting to enjoy the Hermione-Mione dynamic, they merge haha! I'm kidding of course, I'm thrilled that they're back in the more unpleasant realm.
I wonder, is that extra evil Draco going to pop up soon? I can't wait to read a bit more evil haha :)Author's Response: First things first. You will see the evil Draco really soon and I think you'll like how dark things are in the AU - I tried to paint it just as bleak as I could get away with.
Drowsy? Maybe they will be, just a bit ;)
The consequences of a merged reality was somthing I had a lot of fun hypothesizing about. I finally settled on the following rules: People could merge, buildings could merge, but magical items like wands and auror armor couldn't. Folks who were alive in one reality but not the other would still exist in the merged reality. Folks who were alive in both realities would become one person with two sets of memories.
So, if the realities merge, Kingsley, Seamus and the Aurors, from the Canon reality would end up sharing the Ministry/Imperium with Voldemort and co from the AU reality. They'd all be in the same building once the merger happened. That could be interesting...
Anyway, thanks again for the great review
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Ah! Mione and Hermione agreeing in something :)
'After all, we’re one big happy Ministry.' - This line actually made me laugh out loud haha.
Again, the battle was so concise and easy to follow! I loved seeing McGonagall too; I love her so much haha!Author's Response: Glad you liked seeing McG. She is pretty cool, and I wouldn't mess with her.
The fight scene was fun to write. I thought it was time for one. After the last three chapters were so full of exposition and soul searching, it just seemed a good time to have some spells flying back and forth.
"One big happy Ministry" is one of my favorites from this chapter. Thanks for pointing it out!
Really is great getting these reviews from you.
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"Unforgivables are authorized, but with restraint. Otherwise, hex first and ask questions later.” - I was waiting for them to adopt this attitude! About time they grew up!
Speaking of them maturing, it's nice to see them think clearly, without all the angst! Their plans are well formed and they maintain such a level-headed approach; it's refreshing to read!
I understand the bitterness between the two Hermiones, but it's so frustrating haha.Author's Response: Yep. The Quartet are adults now (still a bit young, but adults) and they're not playing Gobstones with the bad guys anymore. Too much is at stake and, frankly, they're war weary. But, just the same, they're professionals. Harry and Ron have been leading the Aurors (without the titles) for about three years. Hermione is basically running all of DMLE and Ginny has been training with the Aurors and instructing them on flying for two years. They've finally all got the experience they lacked during the Hogwarts days. I thought it would be more fun this way, I'm glad you agree.
Oh, the Hermiones are NOT happy with each other. But, I figured there was no good way around it. After all the canon-Hermione had to do to finally get Ron to grow into the man she always knew he was capable of becoming, only to be challenged by a version of herself from another reality had to throw her for a loop. And the AU Hermione? Well after watching her Ron die, she's more than a little overcome at getting to see him again. Yep, I've made a real mess of things.
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The 'emotional range of a teaspoon' line was one of my favourites from the series :)
You captured Harry's oh-so-annoying side really well at the beginning of the chapter. I mean sure it's justified whinging, but Harry can be so woe is me at times haha. I'm sure I'd be worse than him in his situation, but that's not the point. The point is you conveyed his demeanor really well.Author's Response: I always get mixed reactions on Harry's brood. Most folks agree with you that they're tired of his "woe is me." I always liked it, but I understand tastes differ. That said, I'm glad you think the characterization worked.
It just seemed to me that, after all he'd been through, if he was told he had to face Riddle all over again, he'd lose it. He's definitely a reluctant hero this time around.
P.S. The "emotional range" line was one of my favorites too. But I couldn't resist giving Ron the chance to redeem himself in that regard. Report Review
The chain legilimency reminds me of Inception haha!
I'm so intrigued by where this story is going (obviously). Stop All The Clocks was almost more engaging for me though; I think I just like reading about devastation more haha. I don't know whether that says great things about me hahaha. But that being said, I assume this is going to spiral into a more dystopic realm, and thus anticipate enjoying it just as much :)Author's Response: Inception. Great movie (but I'm still not completely sure what was going on).
If you like devastation, hold on tight. In about 4 chapters it gets really really dark and nasty. I'm the same way about this kind of stuff, it horrifies me but I just can't get enough of it.
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I must seem terribly annoying, gushing so fervently over your writing all the time, but I cant help it. Sorry! It's just really, really good haha.
Somehow you've seemed to link up so many relationships, and are incorporating so many characters while still maintaining so much depth! It's amazing!
I will add though, when I said I may have clued on from reading chapter two, it was only a tiny inkling so don't be all too impressed haha! The title of chapter six was the tip off for me really, though haha.
Anyway, I'm positively itching to read more, but I'm torn between continuing this now and going back to 'Stop All the Clocks' later, or reading it now and coming back to this! What a conundrum.
I'll stop babbling now and end with saying I'm surprised someone so fond of action pays attention to the amount of detail you did with the decorations. It's nice to see haha :)Author's Response: Annoying? Absolutely not! Flattering, it really is.
My best advice as to what to read next? I'd read Clocks first, then pick up with the last part of this chapter when Ron goes to Shell Cottage - just my opinion but I find it has more emotional "umph" that way.
Oh, I can't take credit for the decorations - I got some help, from Georgia Weasley if memory serves; she suggested the flowers. I thought it really pulled the decor together. Don't you? LOL!
Hang on tight, the ride gets REALLY bumpy from here on out!
Great to hear from you again.
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I think my favourite thing about this chapter is Harry calling Ron, "carrot top". I forgot to mention earlier but making Ginny a quidditch player was a good move! I will admit I was slightly disappointed that Hermione's lovely otter patron us is no more. On the other hand I do like that there was discussion on the explanation of the 'link' between Harry and Ginny; things like that always irk me if they aren't discussed somehow!
I really wish I could write more constructive or useful reviews for these chapters, but they're just too well written haha. There's just nothing bad to say! :)Author's Response: Nothing bad to say? How cool is that? Thank you!
The banter between Ron and Harry has kind of become my trademark. I've been writing them as "buddy cops," I know its an overdone genre, but I always get a kick out of it.
As for Ginny being a Quidditch player, I wanted to stay as close to canon as I could and still leave room for a full-on adventure tale for the Quartet. Glad you liked the flourish.
As for Hermione's patronus changing, the back story for that, and the justification, is contained in my short story "The Battle of the Pitch." So, never fear, I do give an explanation as to why it changed.
The link is a flourish I've seen other authors use and I really liked it. MyGinevra and Justanothermuggle use it in their stories. I'm not sure who actually thought of it first, but I know it wasn't me. ;) Anyway, I'm glad you liked it.
You've been a reviewing fiend today! Thanks again.
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I love all your suggestions that seem to be popping up at the end of each chapter! Anyway, you should really label this an amazing fight scene in an alley too haha! This was great; one of those chapters I just raced through! I love the creativity with Harry using two wands and the rest of the strategy. Can't wait to read the next chapter! :)Author's Response: I really like to plug the work of my friends and the folks that inspired me (they're one and the same, actually).
My old creative writing professor always used to say, "to write good fiction, you've got to read good fiction." without the inspiration of the great writers on this site, I wouldn't be half the author I am now. Its only fitting to give credit where it's due. That said, definitely check out their stuff.
Really glad you liked the alley fight. This is one of my favorite chapters - I had entirely too much fun writing it.
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Your writing style is just fantastic. It reminds me a lot of the books. Clearly you're found of action, which I love to read but am awful at writing haha! Everything from the characterization to the length is spot on. I'm really enjoying this story so far :)Author's Response: Ok, you're definitely making my head swell, comparing this novel to the books. Thanks! Yep, I'm a huge action-guy; guilty as charged. And I'm really pleased you think the characterization works. Ron was the hardest to write in this regard, because I wanted to mature him, but keep him recognizable.
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