Reading Reviews for Life in Composition
  
87 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Nevaline Caroline Square One

10th February 2010:
Dear FannyPrice
I know it took very long for me to review but I've been under lots of pressure but I guess I thought “better late than never”.
I will start with the things I didn't like that much. First of all I didn't like the fact that you kept jumping through time completely without a warning. That quite confused me. Second of all the way Harry and the other grownups reacted when Teddy fought with Roger. You have no idea what would I give to have parents that would react that way but I think that there is no way of them reacting that way. At least they should have pretended that they are angry at him.
And now things I liked or in other words the rest of the story. It was very imaginative and addictive. I really liked the part with the lake or when Teddy was imagining how Victory would react if he told her. I also liked how Kara reacted when Victory became angry at Ted. I also liked Brian and the way he compared his feelings for Chris to Teddy's feelings for Victory. And I could go on and on because there were a lot of things I liked about this story.
As for your questions I don't think you are even getting close to the Mary-Sue territory. As for the verbose thing it's not that bad but I suppose if you put in more direct speech it would be perfect. And it would be nice if you put more Moony diary entrys because I find them very enjoyable.
So if I was supposed to rate this story, I'd give you 8/10 because of the time-jumping and the parent reaction.
I can't wait to read how it ends though.
NC

Author's Response: Hello! And thank you for the review! I don't mind that it came late; I think its great that you remembered me, actually.

Yeah, how Harry and the family reacted was a little understated. However, they are not his family. I think the rest of the Weasley's take their cue from Harry, and wouldn't step in either way if Teddy's behaving badly--unless of course it involves one of their own kids. It just isn't their place. I imagine Andromeda gave him a hard time about it when they got home, but both Harry and Andromeda wouldn't have wanted to get angry on the platform and just make an even bigger scene. What they want is for Teddy to calm down, not get more upset. But yeah, they probably could have been angrier.

The time jump thing...well, that means I didn't do my job as a writer to set the scene accurately if you were confused. However, i hate being obvious, so there is a good chance you'll never see a little note from me telling you whats going on, though sometimes I'll use italics. I actually like the way I have it going on here, because they feel more like memories this way, more real to the reader, and therefore readers feel more empathetic towards Teddy. Which is what I really wanted. And I do try to use the time elapse bar. Anyway, i'll try to do a better job of letting you know what time period they're in right away!

I'm glad you liked the story so much! Brian is really fun, and I liked writing the scene with Kara a lot too! I've always imagined it as being rather funny. Lol. And thanks for the compliments; those were quite lovely.

There will be more Moony diary entries to come, I promise! I'm glad you liked them so much! I adore Remus, and couldn't bear to leave him out! I'm glad you'll be back for updates!

Thanks so much!

-FannyPrice


 Report Review

Review #27, by laura lollypop Square One

18th January 2010:
ohmygoshohmygosh i am completely in love with this story!! it is PERFECT!!! i have even been listening to the music you quoted at the beginning of each chappie - you have excellent taste hehe. this is just the sweetest story in the world and really the first teddy/victoire story that has seemed completely real and canon to me. the characterisation, the plot, the minor characters - EVERYTHING! although it was a little confusing in the middle of the story when you kept changing time frame, but it was actually quite easy to catch up and now we have gone back to "square one", with all this background knowledge, i can't wait for you to keep updating.
love your writing!!! :D 10/10 xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I am overjoyed that you've been listening to the songs as you read. I not only choose the songs for the lyrics, but the instrumental aspects also give a feel for the mood of the chapters. I'm glad you enjoy the music, too, its good stuff! I strive for realism; i think its really crucial to building empathy for the characters. I'll go back over and look at the time frame changes and see if i can edit them to make it clearer. And then, I'm so happy that you mentioned that with all the background information you were eager to move forward because that's really what i was going for with the first part of the story. I wanted the readers to get to know how they are/were before i show you how they change and who they become as individuals and what not. i thought if i just jumped from the scene in the lake and moved forward in time, you guys wouldn't be as interested in his development because you don't have a clear picture of him in your head yet...wow, author babble, does that make sense at all? Anyway, thanks for the reviews and i'll do my best to update soon. However, my muse is feeling pretty dark at the moment, so i've started writing a next gen. murder mystery for a challenge...teddy and vic are the main characters if you get to missing them or something ;). Anyway, yeah, thanks so much for the review again.

 Report Review

Review #28, by laura lollypop Teddy's Favorite Song

18th January 2010:
wow. your entire segment with teddy and the "music of victoire" was so eloquently put together i felt like i understood the character of teddy completely at that point. your writing is beautiful and this is a very sweet story :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review and the lovely compliment. i'm actually rather proud of that segment of the chapter, and its nice to hear that people not only enjoy it but gain a deeper understanding of the characters because of it. Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #29, by laura lollypop Leap

18th January 2010:
as soon as i saw the song quote i knew i would love this story. and i do!!! lol i even played it as i read.
this is thoroughly enjoyable and i can't wait to read on! :D xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!! And, i'm very glad you enjoyed the chapter and the song!

 Report Review

Review #30, by 21always Square One

13th January 2010:
Ah, poor Teddy.
I really like all the scenes talking about Ted/Vic growing up together(:

Can't wait to read more(:

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And yeah, Teddy is in a pretty tough place right now. i'm glad you like the memories. I'll try my best to have the next chapter up soon. Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #31, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Teddy's Favorite Song

11th January 2010:
Hi again! *waves* Once again, you amaze me. I don't know what else to say besides, "you're a genius." I have so many questions to ask you...where do you come up with your plots (besides songs)...how you stay organised. You have all the talent of a great storyteller, and the more I read your work, the more addicted I am!

I am really enjoying your characterisations...at first, neither Ted nor Victoire were very developed (to be expected. It's only the first few chapters after all)...but now, I think we are only beginning to see who they truly are. To tell you the truth, I enjoying Teddy being such a sensitive beast. Victoire cracks me up as well. Who I really find likeable though is Dom...as usual, she's extremely bold =]]

Well, there you are! Sorry for the short review (again)

Author's Response: Hello again. *waves back* And...thanks again! I might have said this before, but I don't think i've ever thought as long and hard on a character as I did Teddy. He's really grown since what I first imagined him as, so i always appreciate it when people comment positively on his characterization. (i'll take the negative comments, too, as long as they are constructive :)) I figured he'd be sensitive since he was raised in an environment of women, so to speak, ie he was brought up by Andromeda, and his playmate was Victoire for the most part. and he was somewhat responsible for the potter kids. And harry isn't exactly running around spewing pumped up muscles, making lewd jokes, and a machismo attitude. So, i thought, teddy might be gentle. Victoire, because she grew up always playing with a little boy, a little bit more rough and tumble (but not a tomboy) kind of girl. Dom is Dom. I love her. Really I do and she's going to play a bigger role in the companion story to this one if i ever get enough time to write it. Anyway, if you enjoy my characterization of Dom, I have a one-shot about her called Apres Moi. So, if you want, check it out and tell me what you think. Its always fun to hear from you!

Oooh, questions! Where do I come up with my plots? Well, for this story, it started with the lake scene and then jumped to a conversation btw. vic and teddy and the fourth chapter. So, while those scenes were definitely inspired by the songs that I heard (ie the arcade fire and bishop allen) a lot of the other songs i used i found just fit in and kept with the pattern. Um, and i think...life...to a certain extent. Its by no means autobiographical but i like to start with something that i'm familiar with feeling. So, for instance, i'll be graduating from college soon, so a lot of the uncertainty that Teddy feels comes from my experiences, but not the situations. Wow, i don't even know if that's a sentence...does that make any sense at all? Organized...i have a knack for sorting things out in my head, but my bedroom is a disaster. :) I love questions, and just put up a shiny new MTA page. So, if you have any feel free to put them there and we can have more of a back and forth dialogue. Thanks again for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay. I just wanted to make sure that i took the time to respond to your reviews properly. :)

-FannyPrice


 Report Review

Review #32, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Leap

11th January 2010:
Hi! I'm terribly sorry I haven't reviewed before now...I actually reviewed chapter one but accidently placed it in chapter two. Ah well...at least you'll have two imputs...sort of?

Well, let me just say that reading this gives me the chills. The words you use are so wonderfully fused together it sounds poetic. For instance, "Victoire remained very still for a moment before responding, timidly at first and then passionately, moving her hands up from where they had rested on his upper arms for balance to wrap around his neck, her fingers curling into his torquoise hair". That is beautiful imagery! You have the gift of writing just enough...you don't make the descriptions overbearing, but you give enough detail so that we know for ourselves...and we weave those descriptions into our own imagination.

The thing that I really liked about this chapter was the way you separated the memory from the present...at least I think it is. The part where they kiss is the present, right? Or is that the cliff thingie?

Whatever it was, you certainly write magnificently. There were a few typing errors here and there, but I don't want to comment on them until we get to the more recent chapters. Great start!

Author's Response: Hello you! Thanks so much for the review! Sorry that it has taken me a few days to reply. And, i love it when people review...no matter when they do it!

Anywho...Yep, I did separate the past from the present. They jumped off the cliff in the past and kissed in the lake in the present. I'm glad that you think I tempered my descriptions well. i do try to be descriptive, but not, i suppose, scientific about it. More emotional, maybe? I don't know, but if you think works than I can breathe a sigh of relief. *whoo*

Yeah, I just went back to edit the chapter a little, and I hope I caught those errors. Again, thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #33, by madperson42 Square One

10th January 2010:
Hey again, sorry it took me a while to review but my computer was being annoying and not letting me on the internet. Ah well, i'm here now and i must say, another good but frustrating chapter.

I feel very sad that Teddy's struggling with Victoire. Obvously you have to make it hard for them to get together, otherwise thier would be no story but it's still not good. Grr!

I liked the whole swimming after curfew thing, although not as adventurous as i'd hoped and i think it would have been an awful lot funnier if they's been caught. Ha, can you imagine what Proff. Binns' face if he caught Victoire in just her undies. LOL!

I am very excited for Teddy's trip, an excellant chance to drop in some awesome mythological referances, i can't wait to see what you do with that little gem of an idea.

As always, i look forward to the next chapter
MP42

Author's Response: Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm sorry its taken me awhile to respond. Thanks for the review; I'm always grateful not matter when they come. I'm glad that you empathize with Teddy, but, yeah, if they got together in chapter two and were happy and lovey dovey...well, that wouldn't be much of a story. Ha! You know what would be funnier is if his flat affectation is so set in that he made no expression at all! It would certainly have been funnier if they'd been caught, but it would probably disrupt the plot of the story. ah, well. Yep, there will be a couple chapters involving Teddy's trip. Hopefully, ill be able to find the time and stuff to put that up soon! Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #34, by erin Square One

9th January 2010:
I love this story! You've made the second generation completely your own. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That was one of the nicest compliments I've received. Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #35, by S2rawanammouriS2 Square One

8th January 2010:
i was kind of disappointed at her reaction. if i was her, i wouldve jumped him hah
good job, and keep it up :)

Author's Response: Ha, ha. Yeah, Teddy is quite likeable...Thank you for the review!

 Report Review

Review #36, by RupertsPheonix Square One

8th January 2010:
I really love love love this story. You are a very talented story-teller. :)

I love your characterization of Teddy, and Victoire is written well too. I can't wait to read more in your next update!

10/10,
Kate/RP

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the lovely compliment! I'm glad that you enjoy my characterizations. Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #37, by saffy Square One

8th January 2010:
Yay ! update :D

The first chapter was so beautifully written and i love the link between that chapter and this one. This chapter may just be my new favourite, the scene where teddy kissed Voctoire was perfection. I really thouight he had said his speeche and laughed when i realised he hadnt.

Teddy!!! what are you doing fool go after her and dont go to bloody Greece! grrr.

This chapter was so cute but balanced out wonderfuly by your humouor. I loved the bit with Denny and his departing remarks. As well as Brian asking about places to visit in Greece.lol I love that guy :)

Still lovignt the way you incoprate Remus's diary, i like how you use it to show the contrasts and the similarities between the father and son's situations.

I got really emotional reading the part where he was collecting up his last belongins leaving school (im fairly gutted he ddint play the piano one last time). Maybe becuase i only have months left at school but that part felt really .. "real" I cant phrase it right but it was a beautiful piece of writting.

As was the rest of this chapter sad, frustrating, sweet and funny. Thank you for an excellent read:) !

P.s i youtube'd the song where the quote was from, its really good so thanks for that too :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! and ah, Teddy...poor Teddy. Like I said in a different response, he's got to go do...somethings...first and then we'll see. I'm so glad you continue to enjoy Brian, he's going to play a bigger role in the future. I'm also glad that I managed to connect to a reader on a personal level, like the reality of leaving school. I wish you the best of luck with that. Also, super excited you like that song! It's upbeat but like sad and exciting at the same time which i think works well with the mood of this chapter. It's also interesting that you were saddened that he didn't play the piano, thats actually quite important to the upcoming chapters...Anyway, thanks again for the awesome review!

 Report Review

Review #38, by hopelessromantic3 Square One

8th January 2010:
awww :( i hoped it would work... but nooo! poor teddy.. he must feel heartbroken, and poor vic! she must feel so betrayed and hurt.. poor girl.. update soon! AH! it's so good!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad someone has some sympathy for poor Victoire in this chapter! It was completely unexpected and frightened her, so she's freaking. Anyway, thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoy the story.

 Report Review

Review #39, by Alicia07 Square One

8th January 2010:
Believe me, it wasn't boring at all! As I read the lake part, I was actually thinking about how good of a job you did with making it sound fresh.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad it sounded fresh. Thanks again for this review and all the others!

 Report Review

Review #40, by flying_rabbit Square One

8th January 2010:
Victoire surely knows how to make things more and more difficult for Teddy. But of course, removing your dress in front of a childhood friend is completely different when you don't know that said friend is head over heels in love with you, I guess.
It really didn't go well. Of course, we already knew that, but that doesn't make it less bad :( Hopefully Victoire will, eventually, listen to Teddy if he tries to explain to her why he kissed her (I suppose she thinks that he's just some hormonal teenage boy who just likes her for her looks, no?). I hope Teddy won't get into too much trouble with the Weasley's (especially Bill...) for what he did.
It would be good for Teddy to go on a trip with his (other) friends. Might take his mind off Victoire and everything.
Can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Ah, miscommunication sucks, doesn't it? You're right in your assumptions that Victoire thinks he's just being hormone driven, which really, really scares her. She's also fairly naive with the hold clothing removal thing--but she's meant to be sheltered...at the moment. Um, I can tell you Teddy will be getting into trouble...just not with who or when. There will be lots of boys traveling in the next chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks soo much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #41, by BipBopBoop Convalescence and Celebration

7th January 2010:
I'm thinking next they're going to the lake? Hm? Maybe?
Update soon!!

Author's Response: I think you might be right.Thanks for the review. And, its your lucky day, because I just updated. Hate to leave you hanging. ;) Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #42, by hopelessromantic3 Convalescence and Celebration

6th January 2010:
THEY ARE GOING TO GO SKINNY DIPPING IN THE BLACK LAKE! hahaha just a random guess... great chapter! keep updating darling :D

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And...that's a great guess! Haha. Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #43, by saffy Convalescence and Celebration

6th January 2010:
yay update !

This chapter was hilarious, James II is such a numpty :) and dexter is very intersting funny but kinda devious.

Teddy was adorable, poor victoire she really is going to miss him. I suppose the lake scene in the fisrt chapter is comming up ?

Excellent read, thanks, cant wait for the next one :)

p.s hope you had a nice holiday and happy new year :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! My holiday was good, thanks. I hope yours went well too. I'm glad you found it funny...i thought this chapter was. And that's a really good guess. Next chapter will be up soon. Promise. Thanks again.

 Report Review

Review #44, by Alicia07 Convalescence and Celebration

6th January 2010:
Right after I got done reading this chapter I immediately went back to read the first chapter. It's so much more meaningful now! I hope everything ends up alright! :/

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you found the first chapter more meaningful...I was kind of hoping people would grow attached to the characters by the time the story got back round to that moment and really feel for them. As for everything ending up all right...hmm, we'll have to see. Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #45, by flying_rabbit Convalescence and Celebration

5th January 2010:
Haha, very nice, an update almost immediately after the queue re-opened :D I knew I couldn't be the only person who noticed :P
James surely knows how to make a sick person feel better, doesn't he? The rest of the family (and Neville, too; very nice how he seems so very pro-Gryffindor, like McGonagall, and even more than her!) are much better at that...
The friendship with Dexter is pretty interesting :) But didn't the entire school get mumblemumps already?
Victoire using other boys as a surrogate Teddy is very sweet :) Though it's still a little strange, to me at least, that she doesn't spend as much time as possible with Teddy while he's still there. Maybe Teddy should be the one doing the interviews for her :)
Victoire and Dominique were quite funny when they started looking through that magazine :) And hopefully Jamie Kidd will stay away from Victoire ;)
Is this where the scene in the first chapter comes in (well, I'm going to re-read that now!) ? Hm. I really hope that in the end, Victoire will see that Teddy really likes her and give him a chance. Someday. I wonder what the reason behind Victoire's lateness really was...
Anyway, hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! As for the mumblemumps, this is how I see it: Victoire is Hogwart's Patient 0 so to speak, and Teddy picked up almost immediately after she did (in the bar). He gave it to Dex (megaphone) and Denny (pillow thing), Vic gave it to Dom, and Brian and louis and the rest of the weasley's got lucky. After that, it kind of jumped and spread. Just like with real viruses, some of the school were able to fight it off better than others. Thanks for inquiring; I love answering questions.

James is pretty much clueless, isn't he? Though, he is entertaining. I figured Neville would have a soft spot for the child of one of his favorite professors and the godson of his closest friends ;) And he is very, very much pro-Gryffindor! And Victoire...is confused. She wants to spend time with him, but is worried about becoming to dependent, though I think its a little late for that. And you're right: This is where the lake scene from the first chapter comes in! Hope your excited, because I am! Thanks for reading. Thanks for reviewing.


 Report Review

Review #46, by ParkerGirl Convalescence and Celebration

5th January 2010:
Thanks for updating!! I think Teddy declares his undying love for Vic in the next chapter but she takes it badly...?? And i'm guessing the stories going to stretch out untill the end of DH so the train station scene plays out?? Or i could be totally wrong! Haha. Looking forward to more anyway, PG 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. And you have some very good predictions there. More to be up soon, promise!

 Report Review

Review #47, by madperson42 Convalescence and Celebration

5th January 2010:
Hey again, another great chapter and right after christmas, i do feel spoiled! : )

I liked the fact that Teddy gets to hang out with Victoire for a while but i feel a bit sad you missed like the whole year. I wanna know what happend in the months inbetween. Just revising? Did Vic get another boyfriend?

I did definatly enjoy the girly moment, i think every girl is entiteled to that now and again.

And as for your little cliffie, well... How about they restle the giant squid! That'd be fun, huh now I want to do it! Or maybe trying to insult the mermaids by making up screachy noises...nah bit boreing, i still like the wrestling thing. A good quote i learnt at christmas:
I know kung-fu
(and 15 other chinese words)
lol, anyway please update sooon, a great chapter as always.
MP42 :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I know, I know (ducks kung fu moves...hypothetically) I skipped most of the school year...BUT I promise you there is a reason for this...the reason being that this story as planned spans at least two years. WoW! I know, I haven't told you guys that yet, have I? Unfortunately, I can't give away anymore information than that. And, the reason i skipped was because Ted/Vic pretty much lived their normal lives for the time in between, and I didn't want to bore my readers! :) Please, forgive me, but I promise to make up for it. And, I'm glad you enjoyed it otherwise.

Wrestling the giant squid! Now, that does sound like fun! And ha, I love that quote!

Thanks again!



 Report Review

Review #48, by BipBopBoop Ravenclaw vs. Weasley

3rd January 2010:
Ahh! I read all nine chapters in a night and this morning, and Teddy and Victoire STILL haven't gotten together? It must happen soon.

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks for reading the entire story so quickly! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Well...big things are going to be happening for Teddy and Victoire soon...but I can't say what those are at the moment!

 Report Review

Review #49, by BipBopBoop All Work and No Play

3rd January 2010:
Great chapter, I love Teddy and Victoire(:

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #50, by WitnesstoitAll Leap

28th December 2009:
Fanny! I'm here from the forums with a review for this lovely chapter. First off, I'm favoriting this. But please keep coming back to request spots so that I don't forget to keep reading. :)

I am currently writing a Teddy/Vic novel too (Snips 'n Snails) so I'm trying really hard to keep the two seperate. The scene in the beginning with the two children jumping into the water was quite sweet. It paralleled very nicely throughout the rest of the chapter. My only critique here is Teddy is one or two years older than Vic... and she's been at school for three years. I just don't know at what age it is no longer shameless to jump in one's underwear into the ocean. All that aside, it was symbollically beautiful. A bit of a baptism of their friendship... a leap of faith... I can infer a lot about their relationship with one another from this.

The scene after Teddy's graduation was intriguing. I found myself wishing that I was standing on Teddy's toes in the Hogwarts lake... lol. I find it very interesting that that was thier first kiss and that they are still oblivious to the stigma of being so close to one another in very minimal clothing. It really speaks to the scincerity of their relationship. I wasn't surprised that Vic pulled away, but a bit saddened.

The consequences of the two jumping off the cliff I'm sure will parrallel the consequences of Teddy's kissing of Vic. It is a lovely technique. I really enjoyed Harry's lecture for Teddy. He really did sound like Remus did... what with the 'you're parents died to give you a better life' line. It was lovely to see him in a fatherly role.

All in all well done!! Be sure to rerequest... I'd love to review more. I'm almost positive you may find spontaneous, unrequested reviews from me too... Don't be alarmed. lol.
-Melissa

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Just to clarify: During the part of them where they jump off the cliff they are in their bathing suits, because it was a planned excursion. And it takes place before Teddy's fourth year and Victoire's second year. They are in their underwear during the lake scene, which is explained in a later chapter. After this chapter, the story goes back a year before their moment in the lake and works back up to it. But thanks for bringing that up; I'll go back to make sure that that point is clarified. I'm really glad you enjoyed the parallel though; it will come up more in the later chapters. And, you got it exactly right, it was a leap of faith, and I'm glad to hear that that was picked up on: its a continuing theme. Also, I'm so happy that their relationship comes across as sincere and real: again it what i was going for and confirmation of that point is great to hear. Anyway, this chapter was the inspiration for the entire story (it was originally going to be a one-shot), so I'm just over joyed that you enjoyed the chapter!! Definitely be expecting me to appear in your review thread again. Thanks for the time and the great review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>