~Good beginning... like you said before, there's room for more detail, but I feel that this went smoothly; something that can be hard in the beginning of a story. Anyway... please update soon! I'm reeled in already! :-D~Author's Response: Thanks for such a nice review here; maybe will your name on this I'll start getting some "street-cred," lol. Thanks for all of the insights, and talk to you later. Report Review
This is really very well constructed, and in most places adheres to the spirit and "feel" of the books well. The flow of ideas is quite good, as is the pace.
I agree with the first review that some pretext needs to be given to fill the reader in on background from previous story lines, such as the prophecy. This is, after all, the opening chapter of a new work.
One other thing I noticed, but you will need to go back to the other books to check, is that the "speaking style" in the letters does not convey the personalities of the writers strongly. I'm not sure the dialogue from Dumbledore, Ron, and Hermione does this routinely in the books, but you should check. Author's Response: Thanks, Dad Report Review
A brilliant beginning, but there are a few minor flaws. I like the way you're going with this and like i said, it begins very nicely.
I'm guessing that it is Harry's birthday, but i don't think you've mentioned it, forgive me if i'm wrong!
Also, you have made Harry think very lightly about the prophesy when it is mentioned. It's a pretty huge thing, so i'd kinda emphasize it slightly more than thinking about Dumbledore helping him.
I hope you will carry this on!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll definately flush out the details of the prophecy a bit. My only thought is that he's had half of the summer to think about it, so not much new is going to come up. But it definately seems appropriate to fill in some background on it. And btw, it is not yet Harry's birthday, but rather he is just recieving some moral support from his friends. Thanks again! Report Review
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