IT'S LIKE JERRY SPRINGER UP IN HERE.
Poor Gloria, stuck in the friend zone. And Josie not knowing who Gemma was - what a slap in the face. Hee, I'm going to have to reread the first chapter when I'm finished to see more about the basement goings-on now that I've got everyone in order.
Lulz, Gemma vs Josephine here. Gemma is still nursing a pretty bruised ego, but Josie's like LOL WHO CARES, HE'S OILY. And I agree, roses are cheap. Ironically, pink tulips are my favorite. So while Gemma sharpens her claws, Daphne is just sitting there smoldering because James had the audacity to bat his eyelashes her way, and Gloria's all RAWR WHY DOES HE NOTICE EVERYONE BUT ME and this is all very "John Tucker Must Die" and is it sad that I still want to ship Gloria with James?
LOVELY, DAHLING. MUST READ ON~ Report Review
AND THE PUZZLE PIECES BEGIN TO FALL INTO PLACE~
Fashionable vomit tea. Yellow tulips instead of pink. Lemonade (which made me thirsty and I had to get up and get something to drink). And poor Gemma, who really seems like her nerves get sort of pinched whenever Rhoda is around. Overzealous Rhoda ♥ Soon they shall all meet and divulge their tales of the dastardly James Potter and begin to conspire like humpbacked witches around a cauldron full of eyeballs. Or something like that.
FANTASTIC AS ALWAYS, MUST READ ON~ Report Review
All right, I think I'm beginning to separate the girls and their stories better. Okay, so Daphne loathes James with the fire of a thousand suns, Gloria lurves him. His eyes are cesspools of hazel. Pippa's sister works with Gemma, the intimidating career woman with brains. And Josie likes pink tulips. This is what I know. OKAY I THINK I CAN FOLLOW THIS. So James has not previously been with Gloria or Daphne, correct? And now he is making love eyes at Daphne while Gloria roasts in unrequited longing from afar?
IF I'M WRONG I'LL JUST FIGURE IT OUT AS I GO. I love how the story is less about what happens in the basement and more about how they got there, and all of the paths each women could have taken, but didn't, and how they all found themselves in that end situation. The woman are all very different and equally amusing, and I'm excited to read more! Report Review
Oooh, favorites! Yes, I do have one. I am liking Pippa quite a lot right now because she seems a bit like a limp plant that hasn't been watered in a while. She reminds me of Pam from The Office during the days where she wasn't with Roy anymore but Jim was with Karen and it was depressing. Poor Pippa, James still doesn't know her name after two years.
I like Daphne and Gloria's easy banter - it's easy to see why James would have liked both of them. I wish I had a goddess name. But not Diana, because Diana is too cliche. I want to be Persephone, but I would pronounce it like 'purse-fone'.
This is a fun story! I like fun stories that don't take themselves too seriously. And I'm enjoying your cast of bitter girls with vendettas, glaring fireballs at James's back. I can't wait to see more James and learn more of his evils.
♥ Report Review
ANGRY WOMEN! I'm wondering if I'm allowed to ship any of these women with James Potter, even though he turned out to be such a floozy and all. I have a very hard time not shipping people. Maybe I will ship Gloria with Albus.
What a nightmare, ending up in a basement tied up to a chair, surrounded by a circle of vindictive ex-girlfriends. Unless James Potter is the type of person to enjoy such a situation. You never know. Some people might get their kicks that way.
Fabulous first chapter! MUST CONTINUE ON~ Report Review
that was a really heart felt ending to such a crazy and energetic story! i have honestly enjoyed reading it and hope to read more of your works :P Report Review
Hee Josie and her tea. I like her still. Doesn't make a fuss.
I have always felt really bad for Gemma, because she really has something to be angry about, not only just pride, though pride is very much important.
Baww James with Gloria I kind of almost ship it if he weren't such a git and then you show me this bit between Gemma and Gloria:
Gemma looked at her for a long moment, before squeezing her on the shoulder. “You can do it. You’ve just got to be confident about it. Maybe talk to him honestly. AND LIKE IT'S GEMMA TELLING GLORIA AND I'M LIKE AW, THE BONDING. Girl bonding with the ex happens so rarely ;A; but it's my faaav. Like in the drama Mars (I forget if you watched that).
lolol plopped fat James down. She leaned backwards and sat on top of James. SEE THIS IS WHY JOSIE IS MY KIND OF GIRL. Blithely uses people as furniture. Josie bounced on top of James. LOVE.
OMG DRUNK PIPPA I LOVE YOU TOO. Haaa this is a bomb finale in the making.
Drunk Josephine seemed to agree with Drunk Pippa. MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE WORKING TOGETHER.
He shrugged. “Nah, I did most of the work anyway.” god you git. -smack-
AWW, I DO KIND OF SHIP GLORIA/JAMES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE IT.
Hee the epilogue bit. It's so perfect. Daphne still Daphne and an awesome [w]itch, Pippa as her assistant AND YESSS She gets to send threatening letters to people and helps toss criminals in jail. She’s even broken down a door or two. Hee Josie and her tea and all she needed was a customer.
♥ PERFECT GIRL ENSEMBLE, I LOVE THEM ALL, I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE THIS :33 Report Review
“Is it? Is it strictly illegal?”/“Well, I’m sure it isn’t legal!”/“But does that make it illegal?” This is my kind of reasoning.
lolol Josie and her tea. OH OH SPIKED TEA. I se. I love this whole plot and the bit with their roles. I am ready to wince for Gloria.
He had an annoying mysterious habit of referring to any senior authority in his Department as ‘the old man’ – including the Minister for Magic – and his own father. It all got very confusing gigglesnerk.
Gloria, you took one for the team -salutes-
omg lol THIS IS SO DEVIOUS. You’ve got to play oblivious. Act like you don’t understand what he’s playing at. It empowers him, makes him feel clever. oh eww eww those kinds. Ewww James you're so smarmy. Cringing more for you Daphne. brush your teeth like the wind.
♥ NEED TO SEE THE ENDING NOW. Report Review
lolol Josie is a bit of a ditz and I love it. I'm leaving really shoddy reviews, I know, but the scenes go by so quickly and I forget what I want to say except I'm giggling over everything and I love all the girl!banter, because girl!banter is the besttt.
LOL THE MEETING JAMES POTTER STORIES. Oh dear Merlin he is a slick-back-haired git. He's break his brother's bones every day, snerk. Gloria, stop moping over him. And Daphne, you're still very scary.
LOVE IT. GOING ON. Report Review
Oh god, I knew it. It's one of those places. “Lunch is more like a figure of speech. Mostly it’s for lemonade. The tea’s alright, but it tastes a bit like vomit and metal. I’m not sure how that’s possible.” Because it's ~fashionable~ which I know immediately means the portions are tiny and the price is huge. It looked like a ten-year old girl’s bedroom. snorrt. I love you so much Celeste.
“Lampoon? Of course I do! It’s a kind of a lamp!” loool
OH OH OH OF COURSE. Because rule 1 of girl conversations is that it always begins with love lives and then the non-12+ word for snarking, and of course THE FLOOD OF JAMES POTTER who will be very much dead soon, once again.
Hehehe lemonade and tulips and it alll collides. Cannot wait to see it~ Report Review
So. I read the first chapter or two forever ago and I got a bit overwhelmed with it and the full thing wasn't up so I stopped reading it. And now I come back browsing and I found this little gem again (which I am so happy I found)! You did everything incredibly realistically and hilariously. I loved it, in particular your writing style is fantastic. This entire story is great and the mini epilogue suited it perfectly.
And I can't post a review without leaving my favorite! Josie. Perhaps because I think her airheadedness is hilarious and also because the model you used for her in the banner is gorgeous. And because in the end all she had Gemma change about James was that he loved her tea, perfect subtle touch.
All in all, this story is really really wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.Author's Response: Thanks for reading so far! I'm really happy you liked it! :) The mini-epilogue has been sitting in my mind for so long so I was thrilled to have it out there.
Ooh, wow, Josie really does seem popular. Her model's Cintia Dicker and yeah, she's gorgeous!
Thanks so much for pulling through with the girls! Report Review
Oh gawd, something called the Love Lampoon cannot be anything but something that leads into evil. I love all the little details that make this seem so fateful and that of course, James Potter is very very much a dead man (really, how can he be not now that the dominos are dropping?). Yellow tulips, double booking.
Omg no I really do love Pippa here. "I wanted to tell her that stupidity was corrupting my happiness, but it came out pretty differently.”/“How differently?”/“I told her that she looked nice in her dress.” and then “I really wanted to tell her about the lack of discretion in choosing the nickname ‘Lolita’ but I don’t think she reads.” BIG SNERK.
Pippa was secretly terrified of people, though she had a polite way of talking and a tendency to agree with everything said (though she often fantasized of Reign of Terror-like beheadings upon the people that aggravated her -squint- you are like Pippa aren't you. ARENT YOUU.
CESSPOOLS OF HAZEL. Omg all of Daphne's descriptions of people. Mannish Woman/Womanish Man Haa, I hate people like her in real life, so I totally understand how the office sentiment is, but I do love to read about them. Report Review
Hehehe girl banter, my fav. And with 5 girls, well, I expect a lot of it.
“Bad skirt karma. The universe’s out to get me. It was probably Voldemort in its last life.” “The Voldemort skirt,” said Daphne, laughing. Omg Voldemort Skirt, haaa Voldemort must be made into an adjective.
I want to love the whole style of this fic. How do you make it so natural D: If she’d taken the right path, James Potter would not have ended up gagged in a basement./But, she took the left.
Mutual complaining makes the best friendships. Truth. “I hate my life.”/“I hate your life too. But you’ll live anyway.” snort.
I am rather fond of Pippa this chapter, but I want to see the rest of the women so I shall tally ho~ Report Review
I wanted to wait until you finished this story before I read it and now I am hereee :3
I remember reading the first chapter long ago and heee I still love it so much. God I can feel the seething all over Pippa's section. It sounded like a bloody lollipop.
Ugh all your easy wit. IDK JUST THE WAY YOU WRITE THINGS IS LIKE MAGIC, PLZ. Even the sentences that I think is supposed to be mundane but make me snort like mad. Gemma Clarke was the girlfriend before Josie and after that-one-blonde-girl.
Haa Josie, the one who doesn't care. I like her.
♥ Report Review
This is such a fun story! i love your version of James in this fic, he's so stupidly arrogant. I can't wait to findo out how this story unfolds, update soon! Report Review
Oh Josephine! Oh Pippa! Poor Daphne! Stupid, stupid, James! Please update whenever you can, I really want to see what happens next. Report Review
"We've got every reason to be angry!" Pippa retorted. "Paperwork, let me tell you – and a grandmum’s name - "
Is that Pippa's only argument? I love how they all talk together as if they're not really talking to each other but they are at the same time but they're really just invested in what they have to say in their own dream-like state talking about James but then listening in and butting in and...well, that's just a lot of 'ands' I have written here and now I don't even know if that makes sense.
Lets pretend everything I just wrote made sense and lets just agree that this story is getting better with each chapter! Report Review
Really! How do you do it:
Gloria Atkins, who went to meet Daphne Pucey, and brought Phillippa Lee. Whose sister was Rhoda, who knew Gemma Clarke. And of course, there was Josephine Ainsworth’s appearance, which was only a matter of the ill-timed and aesthetically displeasing appearance of yellow tulips.
HOW! I'm not joking. I'm going to refer to this review as I read the chapters just so I can make sure I'm not confusing each person. This summed up all my confusion.
We're going to see the kidnapping soon? Well! I won't lie. I have been waiting to see exactly how and why (though it's clear why) they kidnap James. I really want to hear more of him (from James himself). Report Review
Oh boy! I'm starting to get confused and not confused like 'hey what's going on' more like 'i can't remember all these names!' But hey, that's my fault because I'm reading this and watching a talk show at the same time even though I'm supposed to be finishing my research paper/study sheets but anyway! Daphne, Gloria and Pippa, yup, I already said Pippa is my favorite, she really is a saint but now Daphne and Gloria are growing on me. You know what I like about this? It's 'smart.' They're all grown woman, they act like grown woman (well besides wanting to kill him and tie him to a chair in the basement but they have valid reasons) and they all have such different personalities. It's just such a relief! Report Review
Oh Pippa! I like the name! But then again it's not a name I hear where I'm from. Seriously, the only time I heard the name Pippa was when the royal wedding came on this year.
I think I liked the second part the best, only because I liked the interaction between Pippa and Gloria. I really don't know if I like Daphne. I'm on the fence but we'll see with the next chapter! Report Review
I stumbled on this by accident and I'm glad I did. I feel like I'm going to have to keep a paper and pen nearby to just remember this insane pentagon-y relationship going on. I have never been more interested in a first chapter than I am right now. Report Review
Ahahahaha, I really like this story it's so . strange in a way, but awesome too, if you know what I mean. I've decided it's something to do with the way you write, it's really unique and powerful and every sentence contains a drop of mystery. It's great. I really look forward to you updating either this or Bathing in Roses. I look forward to the next chapter!! (: Report Review
I'm not sure what it is about this whole story, but I LOVE it! :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :D Report Review
love it! its so feminist and i absolutely hate James and love the girls. please update quickly!Author's Response: Haha wow, thank you! It is very feminist, isn't it? :) I'll update soon! Report Review
Hahaha this story is hilarious! And so different to most other stories that I've read! I love all of the characters too! I can't wait for your next chapter :DAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like all the girls! :) I'll put up a new chapter at some point this month. XD Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection