Ah! I didn't know that you had updated, so imagine my surprise when I get back from my brief holiday and see not one but two chapters!
This was awesome! I loved how we got plot development in the first half of the chapter and a bit of fun in the second half. You have a lovely way of balancing things out between the two halves so there's never too much of one thing but a nice collection of a whole bunch of things.
The stag bit was a lovely touch - made me grin from ear to ear.
I'm starting to get that sense of dreaded anticipation in my stomach - you know, the one that reminds you that things are about to get darker and far worse than they have been. I'm just bracing myself for the impact of it all.
Great job, Penny, as per usual!
Onto the next chapter!Author's Response: :P I was a busy busy author there for a while! (Alas, I started a full-time job this past week, which is really cramping my style when it comes to writing.)
So happy to hear there was a good balance in this chapter. It felt a little off to me for whatever reason, so I'm very glad that it didn't come across that way on your side of the screen. I did think they were due for some fun, though!
Can you believe the stag thing? It was the most amazing discovery. :P
I'm really happy that you've got a sense of anticipation for the rest of the story--definitely makes me feel like I'm doing something right!
Thank you so much for the review! :D Report Review
Hello!Another wonderful chapter,as usual!I think you did an amazing job with James/Lily,you really know how to keep the balance between romance and the other parts of the plot.Honestly,you're one of the very few authors who can write everything perfectly!I am very satisfied with the chapters' length,I like stories with long chapters,and when it is your story I'm reading,the longer the better!I'm looking forward to more!
P.S.Don't be alarmed if I don't review very often!You won't have lost me as a reader,but it's my final year at school and I'm busier than ever!I'll try my best to leave you a line,though!
And before I forget,James is just ADORABLE!I also love Lily to pieces,but if she has a go at my Sirius again,even inside her head,I'll.start yelling at her..?And she doesn't want that,does she? :)Author's Response: Hi, Padfoot! Thank you so much for the review. I'm really happy that you enjoyed the chapter. :)
It's great to hear that you think I can juggle the different elements of the story well. You're far too kind, saying that I can write everything perfectly! :) I'm very happy to know that you think there's a good balance, though, because I do worry about that at times. There's a lot of keep a handle on, I'm finding!
Hmm, Lily and Sirius...well, I can't say I really have anything major planned there, but I do feel like there's a bit of natural antagonism between them, so you never know what could happen. :P And if she does get cross with him again, you have my full permission to yell at her.
I'm also relieved to hear that you don't mind the lengthier chapters. I never know whether it turns people off reading or not, so thank you for putting my mind a little more at ease!
I really appreciate your review, especially when you're busy--I know that most people are at this time of year, so I'm flattered that you would take time out of your schedule to read and review. It means a lot! Report Review
Haha I really liked your "Scene of a Sexual Nature" - it was romantic and exciting while still classy and still fitting of the tone of the rest of the story. Bravo. :-)Author's Response: Haha, thank you! That really does make me feel good. Awkward person that I am, I still think about it and inwardly go, "You wrote that?!?! Ugh." But all those words you've used to describe it are exactly what I hoped to achieve, so I'm thrilled! :)
Thank you so much for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story as well! Report Review
First review!! I'm sort oif excited for that! Anyway, I loved this chapter! You keep building the suspense and raising the stakes on everything, it's great! I also think you've done a great job of getting down the dynamics of the Ministry. Adding those little details like the lift lady just creates that Harry Potter atmosphere.
I missed having a bigger Lily/James scene in this chapter, but the Marauders totally made up for it! It was so great to see them hanging out just like old times. I also loved the dialogue just before they apparate. That was hilarious!
Great chapter :) I am getting so psyched for the climax of this story! Good luck with Dobby's!Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for the review! I've been checking (far too often) ever since I posted the chapter, so it was really exciting to see a new review! :D
I'm so happy to hear that things are suspenseful and climactic, especially with all the Ministry stuff. It's actually quite fun to write those parts--maybe partially because it's a familiar setting, so I have an easier time navigating it. :)
Yes, I know, I was sad to not be able to work in James and Lily together in this chapter! I figured that it had been a while since I last showed the Marauders together, though, so it was probably time to include that. I'm glad you thought it was funny in parts--as I was writing it, something in me just felt like I wasn't hitting the right note, but maybe it was just my inner critic.
I am planning a good bit of James/Lily interaction in the next chapter, so I hope that'll make up for the lack of it in this one! :)
Thank you again for the review; it's wonderful to hear you're psyched, because I am too! Report Review
I've just finished "Once Defied" and caught up with you here: enjoying it immensely, thank you!
Like Jess below, I'm enthused by the scene with Lily and the other women. Astutely evolved, this coven development presents some clear opportunities for Lily to build significant female relationships, receiving some heart-to-heart insights, particularly with Alice(?), that could clarify and drive her romantic situation with James and weave many additional high impact dramatic canon threads into the main plot.
(Please forgive the mild criticism) - I particularly hope the above is your intent because, for a novel with a declared drama-romance double genre, the romantic relationship has not occupied nearly as much of the story as I'd expect - specifically considering a supposedly loving teenage couple composed of the two main characters who have just experienced virgin sex - the lack of passion is puzzlingly explicit to me at this point.
On the other hand, I applaud your characterization of James' complex relationship with his parents as so dispassionate. That theme seems understandable given their disparate ages, and their long separations. Given he's an only child whose father is dying, without any back-story to condition the relationship, he appears incredibly immature and selfish rather than just ridden by a gathering angst. As you said, it will certainly afford ample opportunity for later self-loathing.
I wouldn't be the Deathday Party Planner if I failed to ask for more murder and mayhem - appropriate to a 15+ rating, of course. It seems reasonable to expect more as the Order vigilantes are operating in a setting the wizard community later stipulated in canon to have been deep in the "first war" at the time. Anyway, I am looking forward to Moody and the other members of the Order earning their legends in lots of knock-down-drag-out cursing, jinxing, and hexing confrontations!
You have made me your fan and I can't wait for your coming chapters. Throughout "Once Defied" and again here, I found myself emotionally embroiled with your building canticle conditioning every piece of your action and dialog with my chilling foreknowledge. Totally enthralled with this story, you have made me fully commit to Lilly and James meme: "...their desperate wish: I don't want you to die."
Again, thank you!Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, what a thoughtful review. :) Thanks so much for sharing your feelings about the story with me! I'm really glad you enjoyed Once Defied and this story so far.
Great to hear that you also enjoyed the scene with Lily and the other women of the Order. (I never thought of them as a coven, but I suppose you're absolutely right!) It's nice to give Lily the opportunity to start fresh and form some female relationships, as you said. It'll definitely enhance some aspects of the plot down the road.
Ack, you know, you've hit on something that relates to one of my main worries about this story. (And no need to apologize--feedback, positive or negative, is always a good thing!) You see, I often fear that I'm not really doing justice to all the different aspects of the plot. Even with the chapters regularly rounding out at 5,000-6,000 words, I always feel as though I don't have enough room to tell all of the things I want to. For example, I do like to write scenes focused on James and Lily, but then I worry that it's going to become too repetitive if I don't show them with their friends/families/etc. So, that may be one reason why the story feels less "romantic".
On the other hand, though, James and Lily have been dealt sort of a rough hand that I think brought the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship to a rather abrupt end. And, of course, there is just simply the fact that I don't think I'm drawn to writing traditional romance in the vein of someone like Nicholas Sparks or Nora Roberts.
Having said all that--I do appreciate your suggestion very much, and I'll definitely keep it in mind as I write future chapters. :)
Yes, I plan to have many more action-filled moments in the future! The lack of them so far is really just because Lily & the Marauders are still being accepted into the Order. They haven't yet been assigned tasks that would bring them close to fighting on a regular basis, but that will happen more and more as time passes. (By the way, I think your user name is really clever!)
Again, I'm so glad to hear you've loved my stories so far! It's been a pleasure to hear your thoughts and feedback. I hope to have a new chapter up fairly soon!
Thanks again! Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! I feel so sorry for James! I thought that the disease you came up with was both believable and heartbreaking - so good job! I wonder if Mrs. Potter will catch it since she's been spending so much time taking care of her husband.
I really enjoyed the last scene with Lily and the other women from the Order. I mean, first I squealed because I absolutely love it when Lily realizes that her Patronus is the counterpart to James'; I hope she tells him and that they figure out what it means :) And it was also nice to get into the insight of Order's minds, to fully understand why they behave the way they do around the Marauders and Lily. It makes sense, and it also makes it easier to believe that one day they'll all be the friends that they appear to be in canon.
Lovely chapter; I can't wait for the next update! 10/10 :DAuthor's Response: Yay, I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for leaving me a review. :)
I'm happy to hear that the disease was believable and sad. It was hard to come up with something that could be considered a strictly "wizarding" disease.
Heehee, it was fun to write the moment when Lily realized her Patronus' is similar to James'. :D I kind of tried to avoid it for a while, because somehow I always feel like it's difficult to write without seeming cliched...but you have to show it sometime! I do indeed have plans for James finding out about it. ;)
I'm glad you liked the insight into the Order, too. I felt like that half of the chapter was maybe a bit dialogue-heavy, but I did want to develop their characters a bit--as you said, that'll hopefully help later on when they start to become closer. :)
Thank you so much--new chapter should be up sometime around the 23rd! Report Review
I really like the way you portray the relationships within the order. I think Alice is a very sweet person, and I love the girly gossip going on between her and Hestia. Like I've said before, you do a wonderful job of combining both the tragedy and regular life of the time period.
Also, I really liked the way you wove all sorts of things in here--the order/voldemort, Lily and James' relationship(even mentioning Snape!), James' dad, and maybe, just maybe, hints of Peter's true nature. Maybe I'm crazy, but the whole thing with him complaining about being left out makes me think it could play a part--however insignificant--in his betrayal. That's just me.
Great job!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again! :D
I'm so glad you like the other Order members. It's difficult to deal with such a large cast of characters--not only because you have to flesh out their personalities, but also because once you've done that, you have to figure out a way to actually include them in the story! Alice is indeed very kind, although I wouldn't necessarily let her fool you into thinking that she doesn't have a tough side. ;)
I'm happy to hear that everything was woven together in a way that you enjoyed. :) It sometimes feels to me like I'm either doing too much tragedy or, conversely, not paying attention to it enough. It's nice to know that I've struck a good balance!
Peter is a very complex character to me, and I think the motivation for his betrayal was the sum of a lot of different parts. I think that feeling left out did probably play into it, though in my mind, it wasn't his biggest motivator. I'm hoping I'll get a chance to explore it a bit later on, even though it'll be limited because I'm writing from James & Lily's perspective. (But if you're curious, you can always get in touch with me on the forums and I'll be happy to elaborate!)
Thanks again for the review! Glad you enjoyed the chapter! Report Review
You have no idea how excited I was to check this and see 3, yes 3! chapters I haven't read yet! RL is just drowning me right now, so I haven't been on much for the past few weeks.
This chapter was so intense...the fight, the kiss, everything just moved at such a fast pace. I hink you did a great job of describing everything, especially th fight. I'm so curious now to know who that guy is, and what on earth is going on with the pub. And for once, I don't have to wait! Yay! I hope you got those 12 more reviews and this one starts on your next 1000! Great writing :)Author's Response: I know, isn't it hard to believe? THREE NEW CHAPTERS! :D I've been on such a roll with this story lately, which I suspect is related to the fact that I have almost nothing else to do at the moment. It's very exciting, though! And if all goes well, I should have another chapter done within a week. :D
I totally understand being consumed by RL, so no worries. :) Get to the story whenever you can, and I'll be happy as a clam!
I'm so glad you found the chapter exciting, and that my descriptions were good. That's one thing that I'm always trying to improve on in my writing! You may find some stuff about that guy in the coming chapters. ;)
I did indeed get the 12 reviews needed! Your is my 1,013th review. :D But really, I've thought about it, and it's like every review I've ever been left is my 1,000th review, because without each one, I never would have reached that milestone. Thank you so much for the reviews you've left me; they've all been so nice! :) Report Review
AH! I just about screamed when I saw that this was updated. Ran over here just as fast as I could to read and review. Again, you do not disappoint - not that you ever have, but you know :P
I'm so glad that James has Lily. So unbelievably glad. It must be terrible, having to watch his father dying. But at least he finds solace in Lily.
I really really enjoyed the scene between Lily and the rest of the Order women. Alice's speech broke my heart if only because it was so realistic. This is really the first L/J fic I've read where the war not only plays a part, but it's one of the lead characters, affecting everyone and everything in very real ways.
This was, as always, magnificent, and I can't wait for more!Author's Response: Ah, Molly, I could just hug you for reviewing so fast! It's been ages since I had a review on a new chapter this quickly. :D Thank you so much!
I think James is lucky that he has a good support system, because I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through what he's going through. I expect it'll make this all a little bit easier to get through, since he has Lily and his friends.
I'm so glad you liked that scene! It was kind of dialogue-heavy, but it was a conversation I really wanted to include, to give a different perspective on the war. And to me, the war is the most compelling part of Lily and the Marauders' story--I mean, romance is always fun, but romance against the backdrop of war? :P It's the stuff that Oscar-winning films are made of!
I already wrote the first half of chapter 13, so it should be up in about a week. I'm having so much fun writing lately, and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again! Report Review
I. need. MORE.
I'm so delighted that some of the Order members are finally warming up to them. It's about time! I know I've mentioned it before, but I do really like how you've staggered their ages rather than making all of the Order members the same age; it makes far more sense that way. Alice was a sweetheart and Hestia seems like a real treat. Frank and Sturgis seem all right too!
Poor James. Just when everything was going his way, the chapter ends on a sad note. I mean, we all saw it coming and so did he, but still, it hurts. I just want to pull him close and never let him go, the precious angel.
Another wonderful job.
And now - I can say this - I am eagerly anticipating the next update!Author's Response: I'm so excited to be able to include some of the Order members more. It's hard to fully flesh out so many people in my mind, but slowly, they are all becoming distinct people. Usually, once I figure out someone that looks like the character, I can work out their personalities much better. The only trouble is finding a good look-alike, though...that can take forever! :P
I felt so bad dumping this on James, because it really is true: things were looking up for him, finally, and then this happened. I guess it has to, but it's definitely not fun to write!
MORE should be on its way fairly soon! :) I'm finding that not being in school is doing absolute wonders for my writing habits. (This, consequently, has made me realize that when I was both in school and writing regularly, I was probably ignoring school 95% of the time. Oops.) I have most of the next chapter written (probably need to rework parts of it and add another 500-1000 words, but that's it), and a fairly good plan in place for the upcoming chapters, so updates should be pretty regular!
Thank you again for all of these lovely reviews, Molly. They've been such a treat to read, and just make me even more excited to finish the next chapter, so you can read it! Report Review
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT WHILE I SCREAM INTO MY PILLOW!
Oh. my. GOD.
This chapter was everything I could have possibly wanted and more. There was action! There was suspense! There was intrigue! There was romance! AH! My brain may have just exploded.
Seriously, I loved everything about this chapter. Not that your others aren't completely amazing - because they are. But this one!! AH! I'm still not quite able to form intelligible thoughts, as you can see.
I was really nervous there for a moment. The 'everything went black' made my stomach drop out because I thought that, once again, they'd been captured by Death Eaters or at the very least, DE supporters, which I don't think I could handle just yet.
But my goodness, that ENDING. STILL SCREAMING ABOUT IT!Author's Response: YAY! I felt a little like shrieking when I read your review! :D I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter so much. I guess it is quite an action-packed one (I actually wondered afterwards if it was TOO much, but your review has convinced me otherwise).
I seem to be a fan of the "everything went black" style chapter ending/break, haha. But no kidnapping this time--just nearly getting arrested. You know, no big deal, just something they do on weekends for fun. :P
The ending--oh god. Seriously, I don't know if I can convey how AWKWARD I am about these kinds of scenes. It gives me really involuntary face spasms when I think about the fact that I've actually put this out there for people to read, haha. On the plus side, though--you enjoyed it! So now I feel much better. Maybe the spasm will just become a twitch from here on out. :P
Thank you for such a wonderful review! Report Review
This chapter was everything I wanted it to be and more: it was funny at times, heartbreaking at others, and then so exciting at the end! A nervous kind of exciting, of course, but exciting nonetheless! What a way to end the chapter!
Vernon was, of course, the worst sort of person. I was amused by his reactions to James, though.
Now that Lily and Petunia have had their falling out, I wonder what's going to happen with everything between them.
And mostly, I wonder what's going on at the pub! I know Sirius said it was a riot, but I wanna see it in action!
Great job!Author's Response: Ooh, I'm so glad you liked this chapter! It was actually difficult to weave together all the Pottermore information about this dinner--the subjects were related, but not exactly easy to travel between in casual conversation. I have to admit that I rather enjoyed some of my silly little Vernon-dialogue. :P (Hey, if you can't amuse yourself in this world, you're in trouble, right?)
Lily and Petunia's relationship always strikes me as quite odd. I don't think they hated each other, and this isn't going to destroy their relationship entirely...however, it is going to have some repercussions that will surface later in the story. And last night, I somehow realized that I have written ANOTHER wedding into the plot of one of these stories, completely unintentionally. So you'll see that in a later chapter!
Cliffhanger! :D Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
The start of this chapter was absolutely adorable. I was squeeing happily and all of that nonsense over how utterly perfect your James and Lily are and how well you write them. It's just - it blows my mind, really. I'm so envious of your skills!
Poor Remus! I just want to hug him! I'm so glad that James knows the real reason and that Remus was able to get that off his chest. That must've been horrible, keeping that all to himself. Poor dear. *hugs Remus*
AH! Oh my god, I can't wait to see James interacting with Vernon. Oh, I have a feeling it's going to be absolutely hilarious and awesome!Author's Response: James/Lily feels, right? :D I'm so happy you liked that scene. It was fun to write. But come on, you have no need to be envious--you write James and Lily wonderfully as well!
So, here was where the Remus issue was brought out into the open. I figured it was necessary to somehow work in the fact that James gave him loan when they left school, although it's something that I find quite hard to reconcile with Remus' personality. It's just difficult to imagine him being willing to accept that kind of charity, you know? I think he really would have been miserable not being a part of the Order with all of his friends, though--that probably factored into it a lot.
Thank you again! :) Report Review
Aha, Petunia and Vernon, sitting in a tree...you know the rest. I can't wait until Lily finds out what, exactly, Petunia has been up to. I imagine it'll be a very fun moment.
I was in a right state of panic when Lily was following Malfoy and the Minister. I was sure she was going to get caught, but thankfully she didn't. Poor dear. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been, especially in retrospect.
I'm loving how we're getting all of these threads without knowing just where they're going just yet. First with Malfoy, then with the mystery short man outside of the pub, and then Tyrus March, who, I assume, is threatening Remus. Again, I must say poor dear.
I know I've said it quite a few times, but I adore your individual characterizations of the Marauders. Especially that paragraph following Sirius' remark. It's so true to what we see from him in canon, I can't even. Like I had to pause after I read that paragraph because it was so true!
Lily and James were, as always, adorable together. I love how you alternate between their narratives in each chapter, something I don't know if I've told you or not.
Yet another great job with this one! Now onto the next!Author's Response: Very perceptive on the Petunia/Vernon thing! ;) Well, I suppose it's not exactly the biggest mystery--not many things are in this era!
There are many threads going on, indeed...and if we're all lucky, I will somehow manage to sew them together into something that looks pretty. :P You'll have to keep a bit of an eye on Malfoy as the story progresses. But don't let him take up too much of your attention... ;)
I'm SO happy you like my characterizations of the Marauders. Especially Sirius. He perplexes me a lot of the time. I like his angst and his lightheartedness in isolation, but they can be hard to reconcile in a single person. I guess I made an attempt at it in that paragraph (which feels a bit like awkward exposition, now that I reread it--but if you like it, I won't complain :P).
I can't remember whether you mentioned the narratives, mainly because I can't remember if I already told you something about it in a response. :P Anyway, at the risk of repeating myself--I don't know why, but I've always written James/Lily stories with alternate POVs. It just never really entered my mind to do it any other way, so I'm always happy when someone remarks that they like it. :)
Thank you again! Report Review
Unsurprisingly, this chapter was flawless.
I'm really very curious as to why Remus is so hesitant about the Order. The only reason I could think of was because of his lycanthropy, but knowing you it's probably a lot cooler/more complex than that. At any rate, I'm excited to see what the reason is behind his hesitancy.
The Lily/James scenes, though brief, are absolutely adorable. I'm so glad that things are looking up for the pair of them. They deserve some happiness in their lives, even if neither of them are particularly satisfied with their jobs.
Anna! I was so happy to see her again, even if she was being a bit too harsh when they were discussing their jobs. It was nice to see her, though, and I hope she returns for a little more.
Mr Finkey sounds like a real gem. :P And I really love your Marlene. I really truly do.
Ack, I'm so excited to continue to the next chapter that I'm ending my review a bit prematurely. Hope you don't mind!Author's Response: Pssh, you're flattering me FAR too much. :P
Well, by now, you know what happens with the whole Remus situation. I won't get ahead of myself by blabbing on about it until that review!
Aw, I'm so happy you like the scenes with Lily and James together. I really do like writing adorable ones like this, but I find it's hard to fit them in between all the other stuff going on.
Anna will return, though perhaps not as often as you (or I!) would like. It's so funny, but you know how hard it can be to keep in touch with friends who move away? It's like it's just as difficult for me to keep Lily in touch with Anna as it would be in real life! :P So much easier when they were all in the same place every day. Anna is a bit harsh, for sure...but she does generally make up for her foot-in-the-mouth moments. And I think it may also be that her upbringing in a family of critical overachievers has influenced her more than she'd like to admit.
Marlene was one of those characters that came to me in a really vivid way--I could just picture at once what she looked like, what she sounded like, what her personality was like. I'm so glad to hear that you like her!
This was a lovely review, and not at all short! :) Thank you so much! Report Review
You, dear, are silly. This chapter was great! I have no idea what you were worrying about!
I liked the normalcy in the first half. It was nice to see Lily with her family, enjoying life for once rather than living in paranoia and fear. I'm curious to see how she and Petunia get on once they're on their own. Something tells me that something bad is going to happen, which eventually leads to them not talking to each other. Or maybe I'm just a defeatist and always expect the worst. Or maybe I know better than to remain too optimistic, especially where James and Lily are concerned.
The entire scene between Snape and Lily was well done. I did want to punch him, though. Then again, I always want to punch Snape, so good on you!
I really enjoyed the meeting between the Marauders and Moody and Dearborn. It was nicely paced, and I loved all of the insight we got into James' character. I think I've said it before and pardon me if I hadn't because it's criminal, but your James is one of my favorites, if not my absolute favorite. He's just so well-rounded and good. A bit of a prat, yeah, but he means well and his actions reflect his words because Lily's right - he would've warned Snape had the situation been reserved.
Yet another fantastic chapter. I am so hooked!Author's Response: Hahaha, my worrying knows no bounds sometimes. It's really awful, actually! (And definitely silly, because usually once I stop worrying and post the chapter, it all turns out fine.)
With me writing the story, you're probably safe erring on the side of pessimism, since I seem to have this unexplainable determination to muck things up for my characters at every possible turn. :P (I like to think that keeps things interesting.) I don't think there's any possible way that Lily and Petunia could live together without some kind of upheaval, though!
I'm glad you liked the Snape and Lily scene. I feel the exact same way about Snape. :P
:D I'm so, so thrilled that you like my characterization of James! I used to feel like I had trouble getting inside his head--we don't get as many details about his life in canon compared to Lily, so I had to sit down and really think about what I did know, and how it would create all the things I didn't know. Now, honestly, I love writing from James' perspective just as much as I like Lily's. I'm so happy that he comes off as well-rounded, because he is in my head, and it's always hard to put that down in writing. :)
Yay, I have you hooked! So happy. :D Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews! Report Review
Oh goodness, this chapter was very exciting indeed!
First we have the emotional confrontation with James and his dad. Poor dear. I felt so terrible for him because for one shining moment, he thought there was a breakthrough and then his dad mentioned New Zealand and my heart burst. Luckily Lily and Dumbledore showed up when they did as I don't know if I could've handled too much sad James.
I thought you handled the Order meeting perfectly. There was a lot of subtle tension throughout that had me on my toes every time someone spoke. I was just waiting for a fight or an argument to break out among them but alas! However, I like your Marlene as well as your Dorcas. I also love that there are witches and wizards of all ages in the Order. I've always disliked it when people make all of the Order members that we know of the same age and know each other; it's just not plausible. Besides, I think the Marauders and Lily were a very rare addition to the cause, which I thought you pulled off wonderfully. I can't wait to see what Sirius and Remus and Peter have to say about it/how their induction to the Order will go.
Yet another great job, Penny!
- MollyAuthor's Response: I'm loving your reviews! :D
Sad James is very sad. :( I'm actually in the middle of writing a chapter right now with a very, very sad James, and it's not fun at all.
I'm so glad you liked the Order meeting! Hearing that you felt some tension as you were reading is great, because I tend to feel like I'm being long-winded and maybe a bit boring when I have these kinds of scenes. I completely agree about the ages (well, duh, I guess, because I wrote it this way)--looking at the later Order, there were people of different ages and backgrounds, so I thought that made more sense. It's too neat, in my opinion, to have all of them be close to the same age and best friends with each other. And, as you said, it kind of takes the shine off of the Marauders and Lily and how remarkable they were if there are a bunch of other young people.
Now, my only problem is that I can hardly find enough space in the chapters to give all of the other Order members their moment in the spotlight! :P You do find out some more background information about a few of them in one of the posted chapters, though.
Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
That's all I can say about this chapter, really. It hurt - a lot. My poor babies have been through the ringer and they don't deserve anymore, even though I know it's coming. It can't not come, but I'm doing what I can to brace myself for it.
I am glad that they're finally moving forward. Maybe there's still confusion between them and uncertainty, but that's very realistic to me. There's no way that things could ever go back to normal after the experience they had, and you did that beautifully. As always :PAuthor's Response: Yay! Another fantastic review. I'm so happy you're still enjoying the story...I can't tell you how much I worry with this one that I'm being dull or too angsty or something.
This was the chapter that I got stuck after for a long, long time, and looking back, I think part of that was because it is a pretty depressing situation. And I feel so bad because you're right, there's much worse to come, and it always feels like I'm slamming them with miserable thing after miserable thing. Ugh. :/
However--my main hope with all of it is that it comes off as realistic, and so the fact that you think it is makes me very happy! I felt exactly the same way, that things couldn't go back to exactly as they had been before. But that doesn't mean they'll never be good again. :)
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Finally,the Order members are beginning to accept them and recognise their efforts!I love how you switch the point of view between Lily and James,most Marauder era stories concentrate on Lily,so that's very refreshing to read!I love,love,love your plot,you write in such detail,it's obvious you're taking joy out of this!You know,even though I know how the Lily-James story ends,and you stick strictly to cannon(well done for that!), you still bring your own element,so I find myself getting really excited when I'm reading your story,even if I know what's going to happen!Unfortunately,it's not a happy ending,Lily and the Marauders' story is so tragic!
Oh,and one last thing!Alice had better not be insinuating anything about my Sirius in that pub!Because I'd have to defend his honour!Siriusly!:D
I hope to see more from you soon!And please,don't let the amount of reviews discourage you!I'm sure there are more people reading than you realise!After all,I find that the amount of reviews does not indicate the quality of the story!Believe me,I have seen stories with a lot of reviews that are just not up to your standard!Well done,once more!Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks so much for reviewing. I know you're right about the number of reviews--I always keep chugging along, telling myself that people are reading and just don't have enough time to review or whatever, but then I get paranoid. I start to wonder if people are reading and not reviewing because they don't know how to tell me that they don't like it! All a side-effect of being a neurotic writer. :P I appreciate your reassurances so much!
Things are definitely starting to look up for them with the Order, and I love getting to write them interacting with Alice and Frank and the others more. You really are right that I feel absolutely joyous writing this story (at least, when the writing is going well--I have to admit there have been times where it's been like torture), and that's something I never truly realized for myself. I know I love the story, of course, but you saying that really opened my eyes to how much I care about it. :)
I don't know why, but I've always written James/Lily stories with their POVs alternating. Even when I wrote really awful ones when I was like 12 years old, it always switched back and forth. It's just what's natural to me, and I'm so glad you like it! :)
I was reading this book recently called The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and I wrote down a quote from it because it seemed to be so applicable to James/Lily stories: "I know what happens and so do you. It's the machinations that wheel us there that aggravate, perplex, interest, and astound me." It's always struck me as strange that a story about two people whose fates we are entirely aware of, and which are terribly sad, can be so popular--but there you have it. It's not about the end, it's about what happens in between.
Now, I don't really know what Alice could have been thinking when she looked at Sirius. Maybe Lily just misinterpreted? Or maybe...well, if it was anything, I'm sure you'll find out at some point. ;) (Sorry!)
Thanks again for reading and reviewing; it really means a lot! Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! I' so glad that the Marauders and Lily are being more accepted in the Order; this plot is getting very exciting! And I feel so bad for James; I know his father is going to die - and his mother to follow - but it's still sad. Great update! Can't wait for the next chapter! 10/10 :DAuthor's Response: Wow, I refresh the page after replying to your review on the last chapter, and there's another one! I feel so spoiled today. :P
I'm glad you're enjoying the plot. I really have a better idea of how it's going to progress now, so it's exciting for me, too.
I always feel like James/Lily stories are heart-breaking, because you know that so many bad things are on the horizon. :( I mean, it's like you said, as bad as James feels now...we know it's not even close to the end for him.
And on that depressing note--I'm really glad you liked the chapter, and hopefully my writing streak will continue and I'll have a new one up pretty soon! Thanks again! Report Review
What a great chapter! And ahhh the ending! I'm a happy camper, haha :D
10/10Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you liked it! Especially the end. :D
Thanks again for being such a faithful reviewer! Report Review
Oh Merlin, I was so tense at the start of this. Honestly thought poor James was being attacked by Death Eaters again. Whew, am I glad that I was wrong! Panic attack successfully averted, lol.
I'm in love with the way you write all of the Marauders. They have this wonderfully organic dynamic between them that just leaps off the page and worms your way into your heart. Even Peter is cute and charming in this, even if I don't quite believe his excuse for not being able to stay the night at James's house. I also love that they're pestering him for details about him and Lily. Such gossipers! :P
I feel so bad for poor Lily, too. The thought of not feeling safe in your own home is very unsettling; I can't imagine what I would do if I was in her situation. Probably cry and never leave my bed, for starters. I hope she takes Petunia up on her offer to move out of the house - she needs a fresh beginning and a way to get rid of all of those horrible memories of the attack.
James showing up at the end of the chapter, of course, made me smile like an idiot, despite the fact their relationship isn't exactly in a good spot at the moment. Naturally I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything will pan out. I'm sure it will, but that still doesn't mean I'm not nervous about it!
Great job with this chapter. Now onto the next!
♥Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad I managed to trick you at the beginning! :P (Although sorry for the potential panic attack.)
You know, I always feel like I have trouble writing the Marauders for some reason, so it's great to hear that you think I do it well! I like including Peter--he's another one of those characters that I hate, but is nonetheless really interesting to write about.
Lily and James' whole situation at this point is pretty unpleasant, but they've been through a lot, too. I can't imagine what it would be like either--I try, and clearly this is the result of my attempts. :P One thing that I often wonder about when reading other Marauders Era stories that deal with the war, though, is how easily many of the characters seem to bounce back from traumatic events, and I wanted to try and give this its due...which makes for a kind of depressing situation, I suppose.
I'm glad you liked the chapter, and thanks again for reviewing! :) Report Review
Wow, you've done what very few authors have ever managed to do and that's feel any amount of sympathy for Snape. And I actually felt quite a great deal for him all throughout this introductory chapter, which I read when you first posted the story but had never reviewed until now. Please forgive me for making such a blunder. :P
Anyway, you did a great job with this chapter! All of the characters felt very in-character - I especially like your Bellatrix. She's so...well, I can't put my finger on the word, but I definitely like her.
I'm so excited to read the rest of this. It's been on my favorite lists for ages - ever since you published it, actually, as I was only somewhat obsessed (read: very) with 'Once Defied'. Now that I'm finally getting around to it, I'm kicking myself for being so silly for waiting so long.Author's Response: Hello! Oh my gosh, it's so wonderful to see a review from you! I remember some of the lovely reviews you wrote for Once Defied, and of course, I love Distinctly Disenchanted (which I need to catch up on)...I think I also need to be forgiven for not keeping up on that as well as I should have!
You know how sometimes, there are things you write that you can read like a year or more later, and you're just like, "Yes. This is so exactly what I wanted." At the risk of sounding conceited, that is how I feel about this first chapter, so I'm so glad you liked it! (That's the danger, of course--even if you feel good about something you wrote, you can never be sure that other people will like it! :P) The funny thing is, I completely despise Snape. I torture him at every available opportunity in Once Defied and this story, I think. But he is interesting to write, despite all that--pitiable in a really low sort of way, not in the heroic way that so many other people pity him.
And you like the way I wrote Bellatrix! :D That makes me even happier. She's a tough one. I kind of try to make her a little less insane, because I assume that most of that was probably caused by all the years in Azkaban. But then you can't make her normal, of course.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling. I'm just so happy to hear you liked my characterizations, given the characters that were featured in this chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts as you keep reading! :)
Thanks again (so much)! Report Review
A very good chapter,as always!I can assure you the scene at the end was just the way it should be,you did a very good job with it!I love your plot,I'm anxious to see where you'll go with it,and I do hope they will all prove themselves capable of fighting and the Order will stop treating them like they're naughty toddlers soon(although that is incredibly realistic,as they're so young,it's only natural they'd be seeing them the way you describe).I absolutely adore James,he's always been one of my favourite characters,and your James is not disappointing at all!Congratulations on your work overall!I can't wait for more!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your feedback! Phew, what a relief that the last scene was all right. :D Like I said, those kinds of scenes make me feel nervous, and I also wasn't sure if it was out-of-place or something.
One thing I've struggled with a bit in this story is the plot, to be honest--it's hard to put it all together without the familiar framework of Hogwarts. I've had a vague idea of how I wanted it to end since I began writing, but I've been putting the "in-between" together sort of as I go. So, I'm really happy that you've been enjoying the plot! :)
This chapter was supposed to be the first time that they really felt good about their involvement in the Order and kind of proved themselves--but then, as I was writing, I ended up kind of spoiling it for them a bit. :P I was beginning to wonder if people would get sick of them constantly mucking things up and being treated like imbeciles, so it's a relief to hear that you think it's been realistic so far. It will definitely improve as the course of the story goes on!
Ahh, I'm so glad to hear you like my characterization of James. :) I used to struggle a bit with it when I was writing Once Defied. Now I don't know whether I like writing his POV or Lily's more!
Thanks again for all your encouragement and praise; it's wonderful to hear! I hope to have a new chapter up soon(ish)! Report Review
Pretty pretty please write more :DAuthor's Response: I will, I promise! :) I hit a bit of a stall with the next chapter, but I am vowing to try and push through it tonight. Hopefully the new chapter will be up in the next few days.
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
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