Reading Reviews for At the Funeral
75 Reviews Found

Review #26, by phoenixtear21 Peter Pettigrew

21st June 2010:
Sneaky little traitor! How ironic that his animagus form is a rat ... interesting little prelude to the HP books -- I liked the way you narrate in third person-- it really gives the whole story on why Peter betrayed the Potters. It's sick that he found joy in their death, but great writing! I'm gonna read more! :)

Author's Response: Wow. I am REALLY sorry I didn't write you a response sooner ... I'm just really not used to getting reviews that I didnt' ask for so to be honest I haven't checked for a while. SORRY!

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this. I wrote it initially to try to get inside Peter's head to try to work out just HOW he could do what he did, and this was the result. Thanks!


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Review #27, by Singularity Remus Lupin

23rd May 2010:
You did a great job of getting into Remus's head and dealing with what this whole situation means for him. I always felt really bad for Remus. He's bitten as a child, never really gets a chance for a normal life, then loses all three of his best friends at once, and is all alone again.

I thought the way you wrote about Remus never really thinking that Sirius could be the traitor, but for a lack of options was perfect. It really demonstrates the bond that the marauder's shared.

Maybe he's still in shock, but I feel like Remus would be a bit more emotional at the funeral. His whole life was just pulled out from under him. I think I'd be falling apart.

Still, I loved this chapter and thought you captured Remus well.

Author's Response: I think that Remus probably WAS in shock, but I do think that his determination and resilience was the main reason he managed to survive the years between this and PoA so that was why I had him react that way. You may be right - perhaps I had him TOO resilient - but that was what I was thinking.

About the Sirius thing - I always thought that Remus was very quick to believe that Sirius was innocent at the end of PoA so to have him never really being convinced that Sirius was in fact guilty seemed to explain that. I'm glad you agree.


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Review #28, by Singularity Peter Pettigrew

23rd May 2010:
I really like the way that you have portrayed Peter. You've given him a personality and characteristics other than just being a traitorous coward, which is not often done. I think you've really captured Peter here. Well done.

Author's Response: Thanks! A lot of people have said that, but then again there aren't a lot of Peter stories out there anyway so that might have something to do with it. I wrote this to try to understand Peter and why he did what he did, and caricaturing him wouldn't have achieved that. Glad you liked it!


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Review #29, by pennyardelle Sirius Black

22nd May 2010:
I thought it was neat that you very subtly managed to tie this chapter back to the very first one, with Sirius wondering what Peter was doing today. It really draws the entire story together as a whole.

One thing that I still find perplexing to this day is why Sirius did suggest that Peter be Secret Keeper instead. I mean, it really doesn't make a lot of sense...but I guess maybe I should just chalk it up to him making a mistake, like all humans do. Here, with what you've written, he has the benefit (well, it's not really a benefit, I guess) of hindsight--he can see all the signs and put them together into an entirely coherent picture of what was really happening. But I can also see from what you've written why he might have thought it was a perfect, foolproof idea.

Really, it seems to me that the entire situation surrounding James and Lily's deaths was a succession of giant mistakes. It all just seems like a mess in so many different ways: people missing signs, accusing the wrong people, taking matters into their own hands when they shouldn't have. It's funny--with any one of the stories that you've included in this collection, all you can think is what might have happened if one small thing had been different. It's what makes it all so tragic and pointless...but then you think about Harry's story, and you can't help but wonder if maybe it wasn't quite so pointless after all.

Well, as you know, I really do love this story. I hope that more people discover it now that it's been on Story Seekers, and get the chance to see such a meaningful interpretation of the Marauders' characters. I think too many people are quick to throw away the Marauders because its been "overdone" or something like that, but it's the kind of story that you've written here that shows how compelling and realistic their characters can be. So, thank you for writing this--I'm sure that it has and will continue to restore some people's faith in this particular era. :)

Author's Response: Hahaha. Yes, the whole James/Lily death scenario was one mistake after another, wasn't it? Or, to quote Shakespeare, a comedy of errors. I do think that Sirius honestly thought that using Peter was the best idea at the time, though of course like you noticed hindsight changed that perception considerably. But yes, he made a mistake. He's only human.

This is probably my favourite of the chapters, but then again I"m a self-confessed Siriusophile so that's probably not very surprising. And you know, I didn't actually intend to link it back with the first one like that but I'm glad it came off that way because it makes me look like a better author than I probably am. :)

Thanks again for nominating (or thirding) this for Story Seekers, and for the lovely long reviews. I feel indebted to you.


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Review #30, by pennyardelle Severus Snape

22nd May 2010:
Snape's reluctance to show emotional weakness is perfect. I could never imagine him devolving into complete self-pity and depression, based on what we saw of his personality. It's funny that he criticizes James' inability to conceal his emotions as a weakness. You have to wonder: if Snape had been a more honest, more open person, would things between himself and Lily have gone differently?

I liked this, too: " long as she lived then there was always the possibility that the marriage wouldn't work out and she might consider him again." I absolutely think Snape would have held that attitude. After all, JKR said that Snape joined the Death Eaters to impress Lily (which you alluded to in this), so he must have always held out hope that she would change her mind and transfer her affections to him.

The fact that his tears came after seeing that James and Lily would be buried together was very touching. :'( I'm not a big fan of Snape or Snape/Lily, but there are aspects of his story that I find terribly, awfully sad. His death in DH is one of only two moments in that book that actually made me cry, which is kind of ironic, I suppose, considering that I never really liked him as a character. The last few paragraphs of this particular story--especially the fact that we know he's never going to come back to the graves again--were just another instance where I felt bad for Snape despite disliking other parts of his character.

Author's Response: I made Snape criticise James for wearing his heart on his sleeve because he criticises Harry in OotP for that very reason, comparing him with his dad. YOu probably have a point though in that if he had been more open, Lily could well have been more predisposed towards him. I guess only JKR can tell us the answer to that.

This chapter has been the most polarising, I think, and it's mostly between Snape fans and non-Snape fans. I fall into the latter category (like you) and some of the Snapey types have thought I didn't get him all that well. But maybe we just interpret him differently. I have a very set view of how he was and this is part of that, so it's nice that you agree.


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Review #31, by pennyardelle Remus Lupin

22nd May 2010:
Out of all the stories of the Marauders, I think Remus' is the most tragic. It's terrible that James died so young, that Sirius had to spend over a decade in Azkaban for no reason, and even Peter's story of betrayal is sad considered in the context of the war. But it's Remus who makes me saddest, all things considered. I feel like his lycanthropy and loneliness would have more or less accounted to the equivalent of being in Azkaban...except there's still the expectation for him to continue on living a normal life, supporting himself while it was probably impossible to find a job.

I find it really touching that you've implied that Remus never truly believed in Sirius' betrayal. Of course, he's now faced with the cold "truth" of it, but I like to think that, deep down, Remus knew his friend well enough to think there might be another explanation. I also really like that you've portrayed the Marauders' friendship as being strengthened by the war--I think the mutual suspicion between Remus and Sirius, and Peter's spying, gives the impression that the were all sort of torn apart by the time Lily and James died, but I actually think it makes sense the way you've written it. After all, if they were spending less time together, or trusting each other any less, then Peter wouldn't have been so successful at passing information.

It's also nice that you've given Remus some strength and determination. The loss of all his friends would be a huge blow, of course, but the determination you've written into his character is really the only reason I can imagine that he would have made it through the rest of his life, especially those years while Sirius was in prison. If you had characterized him as utterly lost and bereft, it would be harder to understand how he got through it.

Author's Response: For some reason I had much more trouble getting inside Remus' head than I did Peter's, which made this chapter a bit tricky to write. (I wrote this one second, then the Sirius one, then the Snape one, because Snape's head is the hardest to get into, as I think you can understand.) And this one has also had a recent-ish edit because I wasn't happy with how I'd worded it, but I think it's a bit better now. Anyway I agree with you on the strength and determination because how else would he have survived the time following the funeral? Nothing left, no money, no friends - it really is the most tragic story, so I wanted to try to tell it.

Oh, and I do think that he would have had awful trouble believing it really was Sirius ... when you think about the Shrieking Shack scene, it took remarkably little time to convince him that Sirius was innocent, didn't it?


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Review #32, by pennyardelle Peter Pettigrew

22nd May 2010:
I'm finally here to review. :)

I do want to say first that I'm very sorry for never having reviewed in the past. While I'm usually a regular reviewer of WIPs that are on my favourites, I have to give myself an extra kick to review stories that are already completed. I tried at different times to write reviews for this story, but I always found it difficult to decide where to start, and what to write...but now, I don't think I can really put this off much longer without seeming rude or just plain lazy. :P So, here I go!

The description and tone throughout this chapter (well, and the rest of the story, too) is so perfect. It's sombre, and mindful of the fact that the characters being focused on are so young to have this terrible tragedy striking them.

Peter's characterization is brilliant in this. I suspect that's probably one thing you've been complimented on a lot in this story--the number of stories that characterize Peter humanely despite what he did are few and far between. You really have shown what I think is an accurate portrait of Peter's motivations for joining the Death Eaters. I like that you emphasize that it wasn't an easy decision for him, because I think too many people assume that it was a snap decision. I also like that you've saddled him with the blame--personally, I don't much like it when people chalk up his betrayal purely to being threatened with death. I much prefer what you've implied: that while he was afraid of dying, it was also about personal gain, and finally being "better" than his friends, who had always been better than him over the years. It's also fitting that his guilt and doubt is related to him having picked the wrong side.

And, you know, you made me realize that maybe Peter (as Scabbers) was so anxious about being in Ron's possession because Remus, who, as you said, was "the only person alive who might possibly recognise him", was there at the school that year, too. I'd never actually thought about that before! :)

Author's Response: Wow. Don't apologise, I'm just thrilled that I got such a long review and I didn't have to ask for it. Thank you!

You're right in that I've had a few people compliment my characterisation of Peter - I think I was proudest when Alopex said she was impressed, because she comes across as not being impressed easily. And like I told the story seekers people (I see you've heard that podcast now) I wrote this in an attempt to make Peter make sense to me, because I couldn't understand why he could have done what he did, and writing it out helped with that. Call it my own therapy or whatever, but it worked.

Oh, and yeah, I'm totally with you on the Scabbers being scared of Remus thing. Definitely something I wanted to cover!


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Review #33, by RoseParsons Sirius Black

7th April 2010:
god, i love Sirius.
this is such a moving/ emotional story.
so incredibly sad

10/10 & added to favourties.
R x

Author's Response: Hahaha. I kind of love Sirius, too, which was one reason I jumped at the idea to put his perspective in this collection.

Thanks for saying it was moving, too. It was something I was aiming for but it's always hard to tell whether you've succeeded in that sort of thing or not so it's lovely to have reviewers like you leaving such great compliments. Really does make my day. :)


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Review #34, by LindaSnape Sirius Black

25th March 2010:
Beautiful work!

I felt that this was very spot on for Sirius. The flow worked for him, because while it may not have been as fluid as the others - I think being thrown into the likes of Azkaban would be jarring. Very much so.

I can see him blaming himself for their deaths. It would be hard knowing that you couldn't trust anyone, but it was because of your actions that your best friends were dead. I don't know how anyone could live with that immense burden on their shoulders and I feel that you've captured that very well here.

I like how he punched the walls and didn't even care if he broke his hand because that strikes me as very Sirius. He was passionate, reckless, and had a bit of a temper. So that doesn't seem far too off the mark.

Especially not his quest for vengeance against Peter, not that he didn't deserve it, of course!

I think this is the first time I've actually read something about Sirius and actually pitied him. Most of the time I see him in stories as a selfish, arrogant, embittered person wallowing in his own self pity - but your story gave him dimension that I believe some stories lack. I really liked that.

Nice job on this comprehensive work of one-shots. It was very interesting seeing it from the views of all the friends.


Author's Response: Having admitted I have no real love for Snape, I should probably come clean and admit that Sirius is by far my favourite character in the canon. As such, this chapter, while its inclusion is valid for the subject matter, was almost a special treat for me as a writer. Anything Sirius and I jump on it.

Anyway, I'm really pleased that you liked this one and that it actually made you sympathetic towards him, because like you I've seen a lot of portrayals of him which are less than flattering in a lot of ways. Not that he was perfect by any means, but there are degrees to how selfish and embittered you can make him. I did try pretty hard to get that right and by the sounds of things you think I managed that so that's really pleasing for me.

I'm also pleased that you liked the punching of the wall - it arrived on the page almost by accident but, like you, I thought it really seemed like something he would do. Act first, think later. And yes, of course he blamed himself for James & Lily's deaths, so that guilt would have been gnawing away at him. He said as much in PoA if my memory serves.

Thanks again, like I said you really did make my day with these reviews. :D

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Review #35, by LindaSnape Severus Snape

25th March 2010:
I'm not feeling the same understanding you had for Remus and Peter for Severus.

I felt some sort of connection, but it was empty and hollow. Something was missing. I think he's more of a complex person than just someone longing after Lily like a sad little puppy dog.

Of course, he loved her, but I think that there should have been a little more fear and perhaps self loathing. Severus just didn't seem as realistic to me as the others.

He seemed a bit out of character.

However, the writing in itself is wonderful.

I do like the part where he cries and shifts his weight uncomfortably, that seemed human to me. But in essence, I felt no connection with Severus. It just felt like an overview of his feelings rather than something with any real depth, if you don't mind my saying so.

This is a great piece, but it doesn't call out to me, and as someone who usually relates very closely to Severus it was something that I had to point out.

Nice job.


Author's Response: Oh,the Snape chapter. I've had some differing feedback on this one, and I think it might be because everyone seems to have their own interpretation of Snape.

I will admit now that I have no love for Severus. I see him as having a selfish and possessive love for someone who had turned away from him and to me that was the main thing that drove him. But, from your username I surmise that you have more of an affiinity for him and perhaps interpret him differently. That's fine. I certainly take your point in that perhaps there should have been more fear and possibly self loathing, but it's not how it felt for me as a writer. It's hard to get the balance right and with a character as complex as Snape I doubt I'd ever get him completely accurate.

In any case, thanks for the comments. They have certainly given me something to think about and, if I do revise this chapter in the future, I'll take them on board. Like I said, because I don't like the guy myself I'm probably coming at it from the wrong angle.


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Review #36, by LindaSnape Remus Lupin

25th March 2010:
I loved this!

You really seem to get Remus. I love how torn he was between trying to believe that Sirius had done it, yet he wasn't able to convince himself that he had done it. The conflict he had with himself was brilliant and also very plausible.

Who wants to think their close friend could so something so despicable and unthinkable?

I do like that he has normal human worries, yet he tries to dismiss them. I think that's very realistic. Of course, he's going to worry about his future, but he's going to do so guiltily because his friends just died. He would see it as an act of selfishness, I surmise. Which it really is.

I think you brought out the selfish side of grief, which exists. When we mourn for what we have lost instead of whom we have lost, it turns more into us than about them.

I could see him trying to brush it aside, but not really being strong enough to push these thoughts away from himself. I liked that.

Beautifully done!


Author's Response: You know, I had a lot more trouble getting inside Remus' head than I did Peter's, so I'm really stoked that you think I managed to do it convincingly. It must have been hard, though - and from this sense this was the hardest to write - because he was the only one who really had nothing to do with it. He was just abandoned for what must have felt like no good reason. And yes, I really think he would have had awful difficulty convincing himself that Sirius would do something like that.

As for the normal human worries, you're not the first person to comment on that and it's certainly true, though it wasn't something I did consciously. I think I just have a vague idea and start writing and can surprise myself by what comes out. But yeah, he had nothing after James died, and while it was natural to be worried about his own survival he also would have felt guilty for doing that.

thanks again!

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Review #37, by LindaSnape Peter Pettigrew

25th March 2010:
I loved this!

Not many times does the narrator take on Peter's voice so convincingly, but I believe you've managed to achieve that here. I think you hit his characterization spot on.

He knows that they'd all want to kill him and so he takes the cowardly way out. I do like that trapped feeling of desperation that he has, that he figures he has no choice to redeem himself. Because I feel that would be very realistic.

So this rendition of him is very true to Peter, I believe. I also like that you portrayed him as having intellect. So many people portray him as a bumbling buffoon it annoys me. It's just not true to Canon - because he was able to become an Animagus (which is a hard feat and difficult to achieve, though you might not know it from some of the fics out there). So I really can appreciate this.

I think it flowed very well, and I like how he wonders why Severus is there. Because, in all honesty, he has no right to be there, either. This was wonderful.


Author's Response: Hi! First of all, I'd just like to thank you for reading and reviewing my story! I was so excited when I saw I had these reviews ... I'm not well known and I don't get much traffic on my stories so it was such a nice surprise. :D

Anyway. I'm really pleased you liked this. I wrote this chapter originally as a single one-shot, mainly because I wanted to try to understand why Peter could have done what he did. In that sense it was a cathartic process more than anything else. I worked quite hard on his characterisation, which was tricky in a way because he's not developed all that much in the canon, though like you said he clearly had the ability to perfect the animagus transformation while still at school so he was clearly not as dumb as some people make out.

Thanks again, this is a fantastic review and by leaving it (and the others) you really have made my day.


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Review #38, by Alopex Sirius Black

10th February 2010:
I generally limit myself to three chapters at a time, but I could hardly leave off reading the final installment, now could I?

Wow. That was intense. I generally avoid thinking about Azkaban because it's rather horrible, isn't it? But you weren't about to let me avoid facing it in this piece, now were you? I really liked how Sirius wasn't all depressed and making a huge deal out of the funeral . . . because he didn't even know about the funeral to begin with, and once he heard about it, he couldn't be entirely sure that it was true. Or, more accurately, it didn't matter if it was true or not. It just served as confirmation of his utter misery.

It's hardly surprising, given what we know of Sirius and given the fact that he's living among dementors, that Sirius's grief would primarily express itself in anger. I definitely believe that Sirius's rage and sense of injustice kept him sane more so than his ability to change into a dog. (Doesn't he say something to that effect in one of the books? I can't remember.) As long as he could hold on to that fact, that non-happy but all-consuming thought, there was a sliver of hope for him. Here, he used the thought of the funeral more as an excuse to think about Peter than anything else.

I was particularly struck by his self-blame. Again, what a surprise. But more interestingly, he (you) brought up something that had never occured to me: The only person he can be absolutely certain is not a spy is himself. What an interesting line of thought.

Author's Response: I'd like to put in a special thank you for reviewing this last chapter as well - I was fully expecting to be going back to your review thread and re-requesting for this one, as obviously it wasn't included in your specification for three chapters only. But you were generous and I thank you for that.

Yes, Azkaban. I didn't like thinking about it either but to include Sirius in this collection, which I felt I had to due to his role in James' and Lily's deaths, I had to put myself in there and depict it in a believable way. It wasn't pleasant to write but then again it's not a pleasant situation so I suppose that's to be expected.

I'm very glad that you recognised the logic in Sirius' grief being expressed via anger - like you I think that the sense of injustice was a key factor in him retaining his sanity. It's hinted at in the books, I think, without being spelled out.

And wow, you never thought of that before? That was what I thought was one of the key factors in him shouldering the blame for James and Lily's deaths - that he moved the SK responsibility from somone he KNEW wasn't a spy, to someone he THOUGHT wasn't one. The way I see Sirius, he would never have forgiven himself for that.

Thanks again, your reviews are magnificent.

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Review #39, by Alopex Severus Snape

10th February 2010:
Hm. I find the final paragraph strong in concept but weak in execution. Somehow it feels clumsy, but I also think it's a great way to tie up Snape's end of the story. I also thought the beginning was a little slow, but once you got a little way in, you really turned it up a notch.

I don't particularly like Snape either, but I do feel a lot more sympathy for him than I do for Wormtail. I can understand why people not only find Snape fascinating but also like him.

Anyway, the bit about him blaming himself . . . a tad obvious, but definitely true. It's good you brought it up but didn't dwell on it. What was more interesting from Snape was having him articulate all those secret desires for Lily. His unlikely dream is now impossible. As he says, there's no hope.

The point you made about Snape bottling up his feelings and considering showing emotion a weakness . . . that meant his grief couldn't be shown in quite the same form as with Peter and Remus. I'm impressed that you still managed to convey the utter anguish Snape was experiencing, while also maintaining this air of aloofness and reserve . . . of control. Snape must have felt the only thing he had any chance at having control over was how he felt . . . and he even failed at that.

This was my least favorite of the three chapters, but the more I think about it, the more it grows on me.

Author's Response: Like you, I don't like Snape either, though like you I can understand his appeal a little more. In fact, the main reason I wrote this one was because I was requested to, and I had so much difficulty getting into his head that I had to re-read a one-shot I'd written from his POV to try to get in the right mind-set.

You also have a valid point about the last paragraph. I'm not that thrilled with it myself but I couldn't get it to read better. Now that a fair amount of time has passed since I wrote it, though, I might go back and see if I can't improve on it a bit. (I did the same thing with part of the Remus POV a few weeks back and I'm much happier with how it reads now than how it was then.)

I'm glad that you thought it appropriate that I didn't dwell on the guilt. It would have been there, of course, but as you can see I thought that he would have had so many other emotions that the guilt wouldn't be overwhelming. I'm also very pleased that this chapter is growing on you even after you read it, because that means that I must have done a reasonable job. Snape's a hard person to get right so I'm taking some reassurance from that.


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Review #40, by Alopex Remus Lupin

10th February 2010:
I didn't feel quite as attached to Remus' point of view as I did to Peter's but it was still fascinating nevertheless. I actually feel a bit voyeuristic peering into the private and angished thoughts of these characters. It's fascinating and repulsive at the same time.

As with Peter, you made Remus fully human, warts and all. I actually felt a little stab of anger that he would dare worry about shaving or about money to buy food when his best friends are lying dead, but I also had the impression he was angry with himself for worrying about such mundane things. It's a completely normal human reaction.

I was particularly aghast when I read that everyone (ok, some of them) would be going to Peter's memorial service after. Of course, why wouldn't they? But knowing that Peter is the traitor, to me it seemed like an outrage . . . it helps me understand just how enraged, betrayed, and absolutely crushed Remus and Sirius felt when they learned the truth about Peter.

I also loved the symbolism at the end of Remus shoveling the first dirt into the grave and also burying life as he'd known it previously.

Author's Response: Another fantastic review, thank you. I'm not really surprised that you didn't connect as well with Remus because I found it harder to get into his head - strange, perhaps, considering that we know him much better from the canon. This was the saddest in one way because Remus was the only one with no guilt attached to the Potters' deaths and as such it's quite helpless.

I'm very pleased that I made you feel voyeuristic, though - that's quite a feat I think and I'm amazed that you think I pulled it off.

And yes, Peter's memorial service. They couldn't really hold a funeral, could they, considering that the biggest part of him they found was a finger. Like you I didn't like the idea, but it did fit with the canon - everyone thinking Sirius had killed Peter - so I used it. And yes, I think that Remus would have been furious when he learned the truth, because not only had he been blaming an innocent man for twelve years, but also because he had mourned someone who wasn't even dead.

Thanks again for the review.

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Review #41, by Alopex Peter Pettigrew

10th February 2010:
I'll have you know that Peter Pettigrew is one of my least favorite characters. He's incredibly difficult to sympathize with. He's pathetic and vile and weak. He just makes me go ugh. So as I began reading this chapter, I found myself impressed by your characterization and description of Peter. I really felt sympathetic toward him.

In fact, I felt so sympathetic toward him that I was wondering if the was going to turn into some poor-misunderstood Peter story where he's really not as bad as everyone makes him out to be and the writer plays every sentimental card in the deck. I was wrong. You did not go down that route at all. By the end of the chapter, I had arrived in a place of sympathizing with Peter's misery while also fully appreciating the fact that the responsibility for his misery lies solely with himself--even if he still wants to blame others.

I found this to be a very nuanced presentation of Peter. I came away very impressed. I don't think I've ever read anything that explores what anguish he may have experienced as a result of his betrayal, and you presented it in a very convincing and emotionally gripping manner. I still think Peter is despicable, but this was a fascinating glimpse into his psyche.

Author's Response: Wow, what a great review! And I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to respond, I've been offline for a few days so this has been my first real chance to write something.

I feel exactly the same about Peter as you do - he is definitely pathetic, vile and weak. So, writing this was my way of trying to understand him. Putting myself in his shoes was an attempt to find out why he did what he did. In that sense, it was a cathartic process as much as anything else, as well as the fact that I liked the idea of challenging myself and the way I thought.

I can understand that you were worried that I was going to make Peter a sympathetic character but, like you, I hate it when people do that. He had choices and he didn't have to make the ones he did. Having said that, I'm incredibly flattered that my interpretation of him impressed you. With Peter, that can be a hard thing to do so thank you!


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Review #42, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Sirius Black

16th September 2009:
Whilst this chapter wasn't long, it was still good. As always, I love everything about the way you portray your characters. I wouldn't say having Sirius at the end made him the best, but it was certainly appeasing. His anguish and hurt runs through me like a sharp knife, and befuddles me why the Wizarding World turned their back on him. I'm angry at Remus, for believing that Sirius commited such an inhumane crime, I am mad at Voldemort, for causing this whole mess, but most of all, I am angry at Peter (which is to be expected =]]) When Sirius was punching the wall and letting out his anger, I felt like I was with him in the same situation. That's how good this chapter is. I hope you continue writing, hopefully something around this era, because you do such a good job at portraying any character you get your hands on. Great job, and this story is certainly one of my favorites.

Thanks for taking me along for the ride =]]



P.S: The last paragraph gave me chills. I must reread PoA.

Author's Response: Thanks again Constants! Yet another lovely review :)

Sirius had to be last because he was the only one who wasn't at the church (obviously), but I had to write him because A) I love Sirius so it was a great excuse, and B) he was partially responsible and like Snape that knowledge was eating away at him. Of course Peter is the most guilty party but that didn't stop Snape and Sirius feeling responsible in their own ways.

And wow, you wanted to punch the wall too. That's incredible. I'm so flattered and also astonished that I inspired that reaction. I'm feeling quite humbled.

Anyway, thanks again for a simply BRILLIANT review. You are a star! :D


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Review #43, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Severus Snape

16th September 2009:
Heyah! Constants here! I think I say this too much, but I'll say it again: sorry to keep you waiting for forever. Hopefully my review will make up for it? *crosses fingers*

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I love Snape. Anything to do with Snape at all...I love it. I didn't like him before DH came out, but when I realised he loved Lily, I fell in love with him! I'm an avid Snily shipper, and I believe you demonstrated his love for her well. You can feel his regret boiling inside of him, eating him alive, and you feel sorry for him. At the same time, you don't like him at all becauseit was HE who actually helped kill Lily (in a way). And his love for her isn't is obsessive and violent, and you portrayed that with a sharp eye.

What I like about this chapter the most was when he cried. It was so unbelievably real and touching I almost shed a tear. You have an amazing gift at writing, especially with Snape's character (not to mention Lupin's and Peter's), and not a lot of people can do that. Very good job.

And if I may be bold, I only noticed one grammar error (one of your sentences ended in a preposition, but since so many writers do this, I wouldn't worry about it). Don't quote me though, because I'm still a high school student and have a lot of learning to do.

On to the next chapter...OMG, DOES IT SAY SIRIUS BLACK?

Author's Response: Mein gott, a grammatical error! Oh no! I must got in and fix that. :D

Anyway, thanks again for a lovely review! I don't mind how long it takes because let's face it, you're doing me a favour here. :)

Ah, you love Snape do you? The funny thing is that I don't like him at all, but the first fic I ever wrote for this site (which admittedly was only 6 months ago) was a Snape/Lily fic ... it's called Obsession if you want to have a look at any point. And to get into his head for this chapter I re-read that one to get into character.

But yes, his love for Lily was jealous and possessive and obsessive, so I'm glad that as a Snape fan you can see that. I thought it was important to express that. And that's one of the reasons I did this chapter - he was in some ways guilty for her death (as well as Peter and Sirius) and it would have killed him to realise that.

Anyway I'm so pleased that you like this chapter and my portrayal of Snape, like you said he's a tricky character to get into the mind of.


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Review #44, by jman7693 Peter Pettigrew

14th September 2009:
jman7693 from the forums. :D

I thought this was great. You really captured Peter's personality and way of thinking. It was actually really fascinating because you really don't see many Marauders fics with Peter as the main focus. Excellent job!

I could really picture Peter having to come to all these conclusions about the many choices he had made. Although I'm a bit unsure that Peter would be so insenistive about it, you really captured his weaknesses and flaws beautifully. I'm still amazed you wrote him so well, because he is a very difficult character to write.

I enjoyed the way you made Peter a bit bitter at his old friends, because I can see this being the way he would turn out as an adult. All that excessive, unhealthy exposure must've messed Peter up exponentially. And you really sent light on that particular detail. Bravo. :D

As for the grammar and spelling. Well, there's nothing really to say, is there? It was perfect. I saw nothing strange or out of the ordinary. Ooh, and I especially admired the opening paragraph for some reason. I don't know. I just thought it went quite well with this story. ;)

Well, I think I'll give this a ten outta ten so far, since it is simply fantastic and enjoyable. I'm very eager to read this in the others' POV's. :D

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! I wrote this because like most people on this site I don't like Peter very much, but I wanted to understand him, and putting myself in his shoes worked for me on that score.

You're right, I may have made him too insensitive, but we know so little about his character really that either option could be true. But I've taken it on board :)

Thanks again for a brilliant review, I really do appreciate it. *beams*


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Review #45, by rachm34 Peter Pettigrew

7th September 2009:
You have such a rich idea for this story! I really like it. I think you hvae great characterizations and I really like being able to get inside Peter's mind. nog rammar or any issues. Good work, nice descriptions

Author's Response: Thanks Rachel! I really appreciate your taking the time to drop by, and I'm rather chuffed that you think I got into Peter's head okay and characterised him well.


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Review #46, by AngelEyez3954 Peter Pettigrew

5th September 2009:
Hello, Angeleyez3954 here with your review!

This was very nicely written. I found no hints of grammatical errors or typos :) I think your descriptions were very nice, and really moved the story along. It was very interesting to get into Peter's head and see his motives for betraying Lily and James. I think your characterization of him was great, and I can't wait to see how you portray Remus, Sirius and Snape in the following one-shots.

Great job :)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks! What a relief that there were no typos, I did go over it before I posted it but of course you can miss them, so that's reassuring. And you liked it! Or at least thought it was interesting. I wrote it because I needed to understand why Peter did what he did, and this helped me to do that.

And I hope you appreciate the next three once you find the time to look at them. Thanks for agreeing to review them, I really appreciate that.


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Review #47, by Phoenix_Flames Sirius Black

5th September 2009:
Ooh. You saved the best for tlast!


Sirius' crazed want for revenge in this chapter was so obvious and heart-breaking. Knowing what he's done, what's going to happen, and Sirius' fate was just so depressing to read, but seeing Sirius' hard core determination reminded me how much I love him! And you really kept his brilliant character alive in your story.

Great job. This was so moving and impressive. It was quite uplifting as well.

I don't need to say it again; you should know it by now, but you're a brilliant writer. You really are. You have a lot of talent. xD


Author's Response: Ah, a person after my own heart! I too love Sirius ... though I'm not sure that's come out too much in my writing to date. But that's by the by.

Anyway ... THANK YOU for being so lovely about my story! You really know how to make a girl's day. And it sounds like you think I got them pretty much in character which is even better, because with characters we know so well and love (or despise ... Severus, you know we're looking at you) it can be hard not to project what you want them to be like, rather than what they actually are like. If that makes any sense, it's past my bedtime so I could well be rambling.

But thanks again, I'm just so flattered by your reviews and feel like running over and giving you an enormous hug! (But I won't, because that could be creepy.)


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Review #48, by Phoenix_Flames Severus Snape

5th September 2009:
Wow! I wasn't expecting a chatper on Snape, but now that I read it, it makes sense.

Ooooh, how I hate Snape. Because of my general opinion on him, I found this chapter hard to enjoy, but that's jut my thick skull. Once again, it was beautiful and full of emotion and that lack of dialogue really connected me to the feelings in this.

Your writing is so moving!

9/10 -- because I no likey Snapey.

Author's Response: Ha ha ha. I no likey Snapey either, to tell you the truth! Which is really funny because the first fic I wrote for this site is a Snape fic, so I"d already delved into his head once. :) Anyway I had to write Snape for this for 2 reasons - 1, because someone asked me to (and when people ask so nicely it's so hard to say no!), and 2, because like Peter and Sirius he felt some guilt for what had happened, and I thought it was important to cover that.

Anyway I'm glad that you appreciated this chapter, even if you couldn't like it. :) (And don't worry, I know exactly what you mean.)

thanks again, I'm starting to love you now. :D

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Review #49, by Phoenix_Flames Remus Lupin

5th September 2009:
Aw. Oh, poor Remus. That's so sad.

I really have no CC for you. This is just so good, moving, and heat-breaking. How you have a chapter for each of them is so sweet.

I love Remus, and this just made me feel so horrible for him.

Great job. You're really a talented writer. ;)


Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, poor Remus. He lost so much. I don't think I'd appreciated quite how much he had lost that day until I started to write this piece.

But you think I'm talented! How flattering! I'm just thrilled with that. *beams* It's just so nice to have people like what you have written, I'm happy all over now. :D

Thank you!!! :D


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Review #50, by Phoenix_Flames Peter Pettigrew

5th September 2009:
Hello, dear! I'm here with your review. Oh my. Wow.

What a gripping, compelling story you have. I don't like Peter - I really don't, but you wrote a character I could actually enjoy reading. You did. I don't know how, but you did. :) Great job.

You wrote this beautifully. I loved the no dialogue thing you had going on. I feel like, when that happens, that I am much more in touch with the character's inner thoughts and emotions, and you were already sending them across amazingly!

You wrote wonderfully, with awesome descriptions and detail in everything.

Great job. I can't wait for the next chapter.


Author's Response: Why, thank you so much!

To be honest with you, I don't like Peter either. But I'm interested in motivations and this helped him make sense to me. I still don't agree with what he did, but by putting myself in his shoes I can kind of understand it.

Anyway thanks so much for taking the time to look at this for me, I really appreciate it. And that you liked it! Wow!

thanks again

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