Reading Reviews for Following the Footsteps
  
109 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Armand Wormtail

9th August 2007:
ahhh, what a good short story. i loved the fact that you wrote it from 4 differing point of views. and i think its brilliant how you wrote pettogrew's. loved it, keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! It's great that you liked Peter's the most, since it's my favourite of these as well. ^_^

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Review #27, by LimdurHorthien Wormtail

26th May 2007:
I loved the way you represented Wormy here. You're right - he is sort of hated in fanfics, poor guy. But I agree - he wasn't always that way. Nicely done! And I loved the other chapters too. I just waited til I'd finished reading all of them til I reviewed! I think Sirius' chapter was my favourite.
I really liked how you portrayed his sort of, inner battle I guess, with his feelings. How he'll always be a Black even though he turned his back. Really well written. I'd love to see a Lily chapter!
Keep it up! ^^

Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing! I'm happy to hear that you liked my portrayal of Peter, poor kid, as well as the other Marauders. =)

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Review #28, by katey Prongs

24th January 2007:
awesome.
too great.

Author's Response: Thank you. =)

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Review #29, by Pyro_Maniac Wormtail

23rd September 2006:
Is this the last chapter of the story? You didn't do Lily, or Lucius. Sorry I'm a little obsessed with him, I have a picture of him and next to it it says 'Have you hugged your death eater today?' it's cool. oh also read 'Harry Riddle and the Anti-Trio' It's great! it's only 2 chapters so far but it's good, oh yeah I'm here to review YOUR story not tell you about other peoples stories.

~Serenity

Author's Response: Is the last chapter right now. I have a partially written copy of Lily's done and that hopefully will be the last chapter, if I ever end up finishing it. *blushes* I'm glad you enjoyed reading the story. =)

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Review #30, by Magic_Marker Moony

6th July 2006:
I liked how his thoughts changed as he transformed; it's pretty much exactly how I would have imagined it.

Author's Response: Great! Thanks very much. =D I'm glad the transformation scene worked out - it was quite intense to write becuase I wasn't sure how much of himself he would lose or how quickly it would take.

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Review #31, by Magic_Marker Padfoot

6th July 2006:
It was good and true to Sirius' character, but I think you could have described how his family disowning him felt. Not everyone knows exactly how they feel, especially when the ones who are supposed to love you abandon you.

Author's Response: That's true. I will have to look back at this story again to revise it some more. Sirius' feelings are difficult to write, especially on this subject. Thanks for reviewing, and pointing that out to me. =)

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Review #32, by Lyn Midnight Wormtail

4th June 2006:
That made sense. The bruises and all. I am just glad that he managed to say no. It’s good that you do not see him as a complete traitor, because most people would just erase him from their stories. Even the misunderstood ones deserve to be mentioned. Again, you did great job with the character’s psychological portrait. And, of course, the ending line was good, too, as always. Now, to get a little more picky, if you allow. that should never have happened should rather be ‘that should have never happened’, and an wicked smile should be fixed to ‘a wicked smile’. So, I guess that’s the last of it. Congratulations on writing such an inspiring fiction! Good luck with the rest!

Author's Response: Arg, I really hate it when people erase Peter from their stories - I've given some nasty reviews to people just for that reason. =D The "an wicked smile" is a true mistake, though the wording of the other one is variable depending on accent or way of speaking (mine is usually strangely old-fashioned =P). I'm really glad you liked this part about Peter. It was hard to write, seeing that Peter is a character that is not looked well upon in the books or in the fandom, for that matter. I wanted to show him in a positive light and try to explain why he would have been befriended by James and Sirius, as well as why he was placed in Gryffindor. =) Thanks very much for your reviews - I really appreciated them. =)

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Review #33, by Lyn Midnight Moony

4th June 2006:
Wow, what a shocking end! You know, your other chapters speak of something major, an event that changes everything. But I don’t see it in this one. I mean, you picture Remus’s fears well, and really have a grasp on the problem, but you picked just one of the many nights of his transformation. I thought you would rather write about a more shocking and meaningful moment, like when he realized that Sirius had betrayed him. Anyway, I think it is still good and very descriptive, just not to the point. There was a part when you write more about Peter, and I thought it was too much, seeing that this chapter is about Remus. I like the beginning, though. Maybe more than the rest. His thoughts about solitude. Also, I forgot to mention that you made the story very personal with the first person singular, so I can really hear them saying those things. I can even relate in some aspects.

I understand that you wanted to add some flashbacks, but maybe you should put an asterix or something. Then, I was wondering when you wrote that story, pre-HBP or after? Because Slughorn is the actual Potions teacher when they were at school, I think. Again, it should be James’s and Sirius’s. You wrote allover, you should divide the two. On the brighet side, I was amazed that Sirius was actually worried about Voldemort. As for the rest, from what you say it seems that Lily likes Remus and Remus likes Sirius! Wow, that'’ a new way to look at it. I always welcome new ideas. Well, onto the last review. So far, I have really enjoyed reading your story, though I wish it was longer...

Author's Response: The previous two chapters allude to significant events, but do not really show them (though in James' it sort of does). The point of the whole collection is just to write one-shots about the Marauders and get into their heads. I was first actually planning to write about the Incident from Snape's POV - maybe one day I'll still do that. From Remu's POV, that event would be too difficult because he'd have been in the form of a wolf, though the aftermath of that event would surely be quite interesting - though I'd do it as a separate story. *gasps for air as she typed that all without stopping*

The flashbacks are in italics - that's how I do all my flashbacks sop that they flow with the rest of the story. The ~ *** ~ thing I'll do sometimes is only for scene changes (sort of like in a play). Yes, this whole thing is pre-HBP - from the year before, I think. I'm just far to lazy to change it - my novel-length took me a month to edit, so I'm too afraid to work on this one too. =P

Why does everyone ask that my stories be longer? Well, this one is short by my current standards, but still, it's quite a compliment that people like my work so much. Thanks very much for the review, Lyn. =)


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Review #34, by Lyn Midnight Prongs

4th June 2006:
A great choice, yet again! I totally agree that you had to write about him and Lily, because it seems that this is the thing that mattered to him the most and really changed his world… This is one of the best chapters about them getting together I have read so far! What I would give to hear those words from a guy my age. Heck, from a man at any age. Well written, well thought of. This is by far my favourite chapter from your story! Some parts made me laugh hard. And as usual, I really enjoyed the ending paragraph. I can just picture the way they looked. Lily blushing and James shocked, lol.

However, there was a mistake I spotted: Potter?,” You cannot type two marks at once. Lose the comma! And just a suggestion:

Moony was about to ask her, but he would look up at the sky and turn away. I knew what he was thinking about: the moon, his greatest enemy, and his lie to Dumbledore. That didn’t really fit in the flow.

All is said… written. You write well about those four. And I love reading about them. We make a great match :P

Author's Response: It's impossible for me to write James and not make it humourous. At least with Sirius I can find some angst, but in James, I can't figure out anything he'd be angsty about excepting Lily's continued rejections of him. It's great that you liked this chapter - I think it's about my favourite of the set, though the one about Peter is a close runner-up. =)

That first mistake is a total mistake. Even though I've reread this thing a million times, I still can't catch them all. *headdesk* I do know my grammar rules ... really... =S With the second though, I've sort of given reason why Moony didn't go out with Lily. It's as though he's giving James the go ahead because he believes he can't make her as happy as James would. I guess it does rather weigh down on the humour, but it does have it's place in the story, although it may not seem to belong. Thanks again for the review. I appreciate it. =)


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Review #35, by Lyn Midnight Padfoot

4th June 2006:
This story has been in my favourites for months and I never got to reviewing it. Sorry about that. First of all, I think that choosing the moment after Sirius left his home is a really great choice. Actually, the best, because if you want to follow the footsteps, you must show the readers the turning points of the character. I really like diving into Sirius’s head, and in most cases, into his heart. Sometimes I make him act OOC, but that’s not the case with you. What is more, I can tell you have a good understanding of his nature, and your approach is really good. What impressed me the most were the following parts:

it was that I felt separated from the rest of the world.

Always the one who could never belong.


Those are the two sentences that I would use if someone asked me about Sirius. Sadly, this is his story. Not in the middle of events, but always facing the consequence nevertheless. I also liked the way you portrayed James, the little brat he was, and especially enjoyed Severus’s statement. It was more than adequate. Though the chapter was not exciting or eventful, it provided a profound profile of the main character/s. And the end was amazing. The best end ever! The only drawback was that Remus and Peter were not needed there. You could have skipped them. Though they are friends they could have been somewhere else at the time, after all, there are chapters for them, too. Now the technical parts.

You have ‘a empty’, should be ‘an empty’. It’s better to follow the rule, and change ‘James’, Remus’’ to James’s and Remus’s. And finally, I think Bellatrix was much older than the Marauders. Maybe saying so in an author’s note wouldn’t be such a bad idea! Overall, really powerful work. The best part is that you started with Sirius :wub:

Author's Response: You know, this is the earliest posted story I have on the site. There was an older one, but that got canned after a short time. This one, however, I've kept. In other words, I started this story in late 2004, which for me is an utter age ago in terms of writing and canon. I did edit this story a while ago to fill it out a bit, but I didn't really edit such details as Bella's age. Just the date of the story would have broadcasted that to the world, I think. ;-) It's like I keep this story as a memory of times lost... lol. =D

Sirius is a hard character for me to write, but I do try to keep him canon - not too playful and not too angsty. He's one of my favourite characters, though. His death is actually why I started writing HP fanfics. ^_^ But back to the story (because I tend to ramble). I really like to expand on the notion that Sirius feels disconnected somehow, mostly from his family. He's run away from home, and even though he's living with his best friend, there has to have been some sort of emptiness within him. That's what I tried to write about in this piece. It's not that I want to write about significant times in their lives - this story only focusses on the Marauder's sixth year - I just wanted a look into their minds and souls. =)

About Peter and Remus, since this was written a while ago, I can't really remember why I included them. It was probably just so that all the Marauders would appear together. To leave one or two of them out just didn't seem write. In all of my stories featuring the Marauders, I seem to make all of them appear at one point or another. They're just all connected in my brain, I guess. We all have our weaknesses. =P

I have added a note about HBP in the summary now and will also mention something about it being their sixth year. Thanks very much for the review. It's been a while since I've thought about this story. =)


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Review #36, by Misty_Rey Wormtail

23rd March 2006:
These were 4 great chapters. Hope you update soon!! I also hope that you'll review my marauder story (the one where you made the amazing banner AND chapter banner.) Plzz.....

Author's Response: The next chapter of this will eventually be up - I have been trying to work on it for a long time now. Thanks for your reviews! =)

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Review #37, by Misty_Rey Moony

23rd March 2006:
Owh, wonderful potrayal of Remus!! Love it!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! ^_^

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Review #38, by Misty_Rey Prongs

23rd March 2006:
Aaaaw, James is adorable!!! Great job Susan/Violet!! (Not sure which to call u, i hope u dont mind lol!)

Author's Response: Either name works. =D Thanks so much for the reivew, Misty_Rey. James is pretty adorable in this story - I really enjoy writing him this way.

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Review #39, by Bibbs Wormtail

26th January 2006:
Sorry it took a bit, I had planned to read this one right after the others, but something came up and I had to put it off for a few hours. Anyway, I'm sure everyone else has said this already, but this is a very accurate portrayal of why Peter probably joined sides with Voldemort. In fact, you should have seen the look of comprehension on my face (when I read about Marauders teasing him, when Lucius said they would forget him)! It was as if JKR wrote this herself. I despise that rat with the essence of my being, but surprisingly, I really enjoyed this one. Peter really did come off like a good guy that got caught in the wrong place and didn't know how to fight back. As always, this is written beautifully and everything is smooth and interesting. I certainly hope you write more, I think I saw in a response to somebody else that you were planning one for Snape? I'd love to read it. Thank you for writing this (whole thing), I've enjoyed it immensly and I'm adding it to my favorites :)

Author's Response: It was interesting to write about a chracter that I knew most people hated with the intent of making them like, or at least understand Peter. That's honestly my reason for writing his part in the way I did. Thanks so much for showing that my experiment worked. =P Also thanks for reading and reviewing, as well as enjoying the story. Your comments were so nice to read. =)

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Review #40, by Bibbs Moony

25th January 2006:
PERFECT! This was one VERY accurate portrayal of Lupin, reflecting on his friends and afraid of being alone. Your writing was so good in this, you can actually feel his despair at what he is doomed for, and his fear of the future and what he could possibly do with his life. I love how you had him reflecting on his friends, because they are all very important to him. It seemed like we got to know a little more about them, and somehow, you managed to show us his personality through his memories. I really enjoyed the memory about Sirius, because he usually doesn’t open up like that. I also thought it was good how you had him thinking AS he was journeying to the shrieking shack. A lot of people would just go off on his thoughts and not describe anything else that was happening. It was a good effect at the end, how his thoughts faded into the thoughts of an actual werewolf’s. I really liked reading this, it was a lot different from reading Sirius’ and James’. It’s a really good effect, the tone of your writing is changing to reflect the characters’ personalities! Very well written :)

Author's Response: Moony is such a strange character to write. He's angsty, but not too much. He's also very kind, but he has that "furry little problem" that always seems to get in the way. With this, I really tried to show all sides of him - the good and the bad. It's so great to hear that you think it's accurate - this story is based off of canon, so that's really important that you think that. Thanks so much for your review! =)

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Review #41, by Bibbs Prongs

25th January 2006:
I loved this even more than I loved Sirius' piece! You did a perfect job exploring James’ thoughts and emotions, everything from wonder and awe while he walked behind Lily, to the anger and hurt at her response when he tried to warn her about his bag, to embarrassment. I love how he humbled himself enough to ask Lily nicely, and it actually paid off! I find the other marauders’ reactions to James plan to be more serious quite humerous. Some of the sentences are great, adding so much detail. I’m sorry, I don’t quite know how to say what I am thinking, but what I mean is… like this: Padfoot lounged on the windowsill, somehow looking comfortable in the least comfortable of places. It’s the small details like that that really make this flow together. The dialogue between the characters was excellent also. I really like the subtle humour that is hidden within your writing, like when James said he was in love, no, not with his broom… You have a great style!

Author's Response: Like I've told other people, the James piece wrote itself. He like took over my sub-concious mind. The joke about the broom had me giggling the whole way through writing, which I guess only ended up creating more humour in the rest. =P I've tried with this to change the tone of the story - going from Sirius' feeling of loss to James' determination to get Lily to like him - and I'm glad that it worked out alright. I was afraid that the two chapters would sound as though they were being told by the same character. It's also great to hear that the dialogue worked out well - that was always a weak point in my writing.

Thanks very much for the great review. I really appreciate your comments. ^_^


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Review #42, by Bibbs Padfoot

25th January 2006:
Wonderful! I really loved reading this (I am a big Sirius fan). It is very well written! Everything flows together smoothly and it kept my interest the entire time. You did a great job of including Peter (always hard to do) and even gave a logical explanation as to why James and Sirius befriended him in the first place (I’ve always wondered.) I had to laugh at this: "There was a empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, it wasn’t that I was hungry…" I don’t know why I found it so funny! I loved Remus’ (so innocent) reaction to Sirius running away. You did a great job portraying everyone’s character, even those with smaller parts such as Bellatrix and Snape. Great job writing in first person, its not an easy thing to do and still manage to get everything to flow smoothly and sound natural. I guess I had better shut up now and save some comments for the others :)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the great review, Bibbs. I really love writing the Marauders - they have such interesting personalities. For some strange reason, first person comes really easy to me while I'm writing, though it does first require some sort of connection with the main character (which explains why updates for this story are terribly slow). Well, since this version of the story was edited a few months ago, it includes a lot more sidelong humour and gives the characters a lot more substance.

I'm really happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it. Thanks so much for the review! =)


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Review #43, by Noblevyne Wormtail

24th January 2006:
This is great, you've done Peter great justice. He's everything he should be: manipulative and opportunistic, slow, but not stupid, brave and yet fearful of himself. You have written it as though Peter's greatest enemy is himself and that makes for a very interesting train of thought and makes for a good explanation, actually. So: hooray for a damn good and convincing portrayal of Peter, he bloody well deserved it!

Author's Response: Peter needed serious help in the fanfiction world, hopefully this provided him with a bit of assistance. =P You've really picked up on exactly what I was trying to get across with this story - that Peter isn't evil, just misguided. Thanks so much for your review. =)

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Review #44, by Noblevyne Moony

24th January 2006:
This is great. Wonderful understanding of Remus' situation inlife, he's always just to the side, not all in wherever he is. His furry little problem, his inability to be with Lily, his conscience that keeps him from throwing himself into pranks and yet he is so vital to the make up of the Marauders because he is their conscience, their objective other.

The talk with Sirius was heartwrenching because we all know what happens, it all falls apart and Sirius and Remus lose everything.

And in the end, he becomes the wolf and it is easier, life is simplified in a predators simple needs and nothing more.

Author's Response: Oh Lauren, you are one of the best reviewers I've had! You've caught onto everything important I was trying to convey in this short piece. Remus is such a mournful character - he's missed out on a lot of things in life. Thanks very much for reviewing! =)

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Review #45, by Scarlett_Heart Wormtail

24th January 2006:
Once again I feel the Urge to kidnap James. This story as your other one was well written. "Well if you call running away from home and being disowned a good summer, then yes." Aw poor Sirius! I haven't really ever thought about it or read one where it actually shows emotion in such a short time. I loved that part to put it bluntly. "Or are you going Stag like the rest of us" That line made me laugh! Did you come up with it yourself? If so that is very original. I would also like to say I admired the way James asked Lily out. That is a very believable way that she could have realised he wasn't such a huge Prat after all. I liked the bag bit too; I like it when James gets the last comeback in. Although Remus liking Lily... It seems highly possible doesn't it but I am sure he would have pushed back his feelings for James's sake before they really started, Remus being the sweetie that he is. I actually felt sorry for Peter too. You put him across really good and believable. It must have being horrible being the follower that doesn't really fit in, to be picked on. And I kind of admired him because of it. But overall Peter isn't that strong and he couldn't stand up for himself and maybe he just doesn't have as much courage as his friends. I don't think he would betray James for Power in his younger days. Well I will let you get back to writing sorry if I have bored you! Katie xoox

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing this, Katie. It's great to hear that you enjoyed reading the whole collection of one-shots. They're my earliest works I have posted at HPFF, so they still keep a special place in my heart. ^_^

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Review #46, by Noblevyne Prongs

15th January 2006:
You had me at the first line. Seriously, you got James in less than 40 words. This is so perfectly James, the conceit and haughtiness, the absolute knowledge he possesses that he is the best and there will never be a better, but you don't let his humanity slip up and that's a tricky balance, most people write him as too much of one thing and not enough of the other.

I love how you write James and Lily together too, there's tension and aggravation and yet you can make it slip easily into something that will eventually turn into The Great Romance. I love this and will have to continue it whe I wake up.

Author's Response: Wow, talk about a really nice review. It's strange because I never really liked James much nor ever really thought about him, then when I started writing this he just came out perfectly. The less I tried, the better he appeared in the story. Thanks so much for reviewing and enjoying this story. It was the first one I posted (over a year ago), and it's great to hear that it's still good stuff. =)

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Review #47, by Noblevyne Padfoot

15th January 2006:
I love how you've pained Sirius, such a perfect little character study, wonderful dialogue and history, character moments and...everything else. I love how the other characters were in this, very rich with atmosphere and very true to the books.

Author's Response: Wow, you've done a lot of reading today, Lauren. =P Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad that you liked how Sirius turned out - it took a lot of work (and Missy's help) to get him like this. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing. ^_^

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Review #48, by Thayet Wormtail

10th December 2005:
Wow...I almost feel so sorry for Pettigrew...Very convincing.But I'm not really sure what the plot is...Could you give us an outline of what the story is going to revolve around?Like Lily's and James's romance or just the thoughts of people as times passes?Otherwise its pretty convincing and definitely very mysterious.(Have I said that just now?Cause it really is.)

Author's Response: This is a more a collection of one-shots rather than an actual story. It doesn't revolve around anything except thoughts that trouble the Marauders during their sixth year. Thanks very much for your review, Thayet. I'm so glad to hear that you were convinced with Peter's narrative. =)

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Review #49, by dim at best Wormtail

30th November 2005:
I never thought it possible to actually like Peter...but after reading this, I feel so sorry for him. It may be a work of fanfiction, but, in my opinion, the traitor Wormtail has actually become somewhat on par with his Marauder friends. (Note it's only somewhat.) Good job with your story, on all the points of views, and are you going to be writing a Lily viewpoint?

Author's Response: Yay! I've converted someone! *smods* It's great to hear that reading my story got you to think better of Peter - that is what I was trying to do with this part of FtF. The next chapter will be from Lily's viewpoint, and I've already started writing it a bit. Thank you very much for your review!

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Review #50, by Ruperts_Princess Wormtail

6th October 2005:
again another well written chapter - I know i keep saying this but you really have captured each characters personality and being really well...you have a real talent for this and I would love to read more of your fics - PM me and let me know of another fic of yours you would like reviewing and I would be happy to check it out... ...ooo one question though - is this story over or is there more to it? xx

Author's Response: There'll be one or two more chapters - the next hopefully being Lily or Severus (whichever one I can think of first). This chapter about Peter took a lot of planing and time to write - I kept trying not to be biassed against his later actions, which was difficult. But I'm happy with the finished product. =D Thanks very much for reviewing this story, Ruperts_Princess!

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