I read this story about a month back and was itching to go back and review so here I am. :O
I love the setting! The idea of taking the Next Generation and placing them in a Pride and Prejudice type time period/situation is unique and cool. The dresses, the balls, the men in their coats and trousers...very likable.
Rose is the best. Scorpius seems rude but he'll grow on me. I'm sure of it. Lily makes me laugh with all her girlishness and interest of Malfoy. And Al is a sweetheart for protecting his cousin.
All in all, I love this story. I hope you update soon. :)
Sama 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D It's great to hear from you, especially that you've been enjoying the story and its premise. Writing the next-gen characters in this period is strange at the same time that it's really exciting - there are so many details to keep track of, but the social attitudes of the day suit this set of characters.
Hopefully Scorpius does grow on you - from this point, Rose will start to see another side of him, but it will be a slow process. Not only do they have to get around their prejudices, they have the whole history between their two families to deal with, and that only makes things more difficult for both of them.
Thank you again! :D I've already started the next chapter, so keep an eye out for it! Report Review
I just want to say, this is brilliant! Itís just incredible how excellently you recreate the literary style of the era youíve set the story in, and I cannot wait to see what happens!
Again I say, BRILLIANT!!! And well done, Rose!Author's Response: Yay, thank you! :D It's wonderful that you've taken the time to read this story, and review it too!
I'm really glad to hear that the era and the story are coming along so well. Writing in this style is strange, not so much because of the word choice but the different phrasings and syntax. It's so much more formal and exacting. Writing like this makes me admire Austen all the more. Report Review
I quite like how you've set this story up! The time period you placed the characters in brings something different and I'm excited to read more!
It's very easy to read and enjoyable! I wonder what's going to happen next. . . !Author's Response: Thank you very much! It's fantastic to hear that you like how the time period and plot are working out so far. :D It's a lot of fun to write these characters into the Regency period - I've never written this kind of AU before, so I'm pleased that you like it. Report Review
First of all, how have I not noticed that this story has had a new chapter for weeks now! Gah that just makes me so sad because I remember loving this story so much! Ok, well I'm here now and now I will go read the chapter!
Man I can't even get far into the story without already falling back in love with it! Your wording and imagery that you paint for your readers is just beautiful! I was sucked right in to your chapter and felt like I had never left it! And oh how this new chapter did not disappoint! I just loved it all to bits! I did notice one mistake and it was here "for surely no polite wizard could know such depth of feeling, particularly not a Malfois" I'm not sure if the i in malfoy's is meant or not but I'm assuming you meant to have a y there.
I'm so excited to have seen a new update for this story and hopefully more will be coming again soon because I have missed this very much! This story has been in my favorites for a reason so I will continue to keep my eye on it and hope for some more updates!
I was kind of wondering where Rose was at since she had really wanted to be there in the first place, but I will admit to suspecting that maybe she had come as Roxanne I didn't even think about Louis! It was great though when it was revealed that it was her and that Malfoy didn't get upset about it! I loved that he even kept with the civility of it all and shook her hand in the end. I can't wait to see what you will come up with next for this story! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Thank you for coming to read and review this story! I'd only just realized how long it had taken me to update this story! Somehow I'd lost track of time - I can't even believe that it's been a year-and-a-half since I began writing it. Anyway, I'm really glad that you've been enjoying it, and I promise to keep better track of updates in the future. :)
Eee, you liked the chapter! It's fantastic to hear that! For that line you pointed out, I think I wanted to allude to the French translation of Malfoy as "bad faith" - that the family can't show depth of feeling because of their lack of faith, but now that I look at it, the sentence didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. It's too confusing. >< Oh well, thank you for pointing it out - it's a case of the words sounding better in my head than on paper.
It was tricky to make the scene work because of Rose - how could I trick the reader into believing that she was not there. She could have been watching from the trees (and Roxanne had purposely passed her by), though I hadn't thought of her being Roxanne. I made her Louis instead because it would mean the significant change of costume - Rose isn't afraid of becoming someone else, least of all a man, and that impresses Malfoy just as much as her magical abilities.
Thank you again! :D Report Review
I love this story! It's so nice to read something really original for a change. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :D I'm very pleased to hear that you've enjoyed this chapter! Report Review
Such drama! Go Rose! As much as I love Austen's amazing stories I have always been grateful that I did not live during those times. Women were just so limited in what they could do (were permitted by men to do). This is an interesting adaptation of the next generation characters to this much earlier time period. Thank you for sharing your story!Author's Response: The limitations on women in the period makes writing this an interesting challenge - even though the Wizarding World was a little more advanced (one of the Ministers of Magic around this time was a witch), there are still many restrictions on a woman's behaviour. I enjoy writing the Next-Generation characters in this kind of world, though at times it's not all that different from today.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! It's fantastic to hear that you've enjoyed it! ^_^ Report Review
Absolutely brilliant. Your writing is incredible. I am eager to read more so please update soon.
:)Author's Response: Thank you! It's wonderful to hear lovely compliments like this! I'm very glad that you enjoyed this chapter. :D Report Review
So, I reviewed the first chapter of this story, also under the guise of the review tag. I really should go review another story of yours, but I like this one too much!
You have such a wonderful author's voice! And your use of commas - to die for! Excuse the weirdness of me complimenting your commas, but I really love them!
So... Scorpius seems to have potential to be interesting. I already love Rose. And Lily reminds me a lot of Tianna's best friend from Princess and the Frog, for some reason. But we didn't really get much about Scorp in this chapter - I hope to see him in the next three published chapters!
Also, on a slightly unrelated note, um... exactly how old is Kreacher now? He was practically as old as Christianity when Sirius had him, he must be as old as the Pyramids by now! It seems the free elf lifestyle is suiting him!
Anyways, I actually cannot wait to read what happens next!Author's Response: Thank you for coming back to review another chapter! ^_^ It means a lot that you've done so, and to hear you say that you like this story so much!
You're like the first person who compliment me on my commas! I love commas and clauses - it's a lot of fun to put them together in complicated ways to give a sentence perfect rhythm. Thank you! *dances*
Scorpius will come back... often. ;) There's still much I have to do to develop his character, as he is complex, but he doesn't let anything show. In some ways, he is like Darcy, but I want to make him more of my own character too, and I still have to figure out the best way to do that.
Kreacher is probably ancient. XD I don't know how long house elves live, and I've never actually thought about it before. My excuse for this story is that the timeline is shortened - Rose was born at the end of the revolution (she's 18 in this story, which would put her DOB at 1799). So instead of the 25 years between the fall of Voldemort and Rose being 18 in canon, there's only 18 years. Perhaps the difference of 7 years would keep Kreacher alive.
That's a very lame excuse, isn't it? :P
But thank you again for your lovely review! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story too! Report Review
This is amazing. I love the whole Jane Austen outtake on the rose/scorpious ship! I hope you continue with this fanfic and update soon! I can't wait to see what happens at the duel!Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! It's fantastic to hear such compliments for this story. :D
I'm halfway through the next chapter, so it shouldn't be too much longer. Duels are harder to write than I anticipated. ;) Report Review
REVIEW TAG, YO!
Hello! For some strange reason, I've never actually read any of your many works, which is quite weird - but I'm glad that I finally have!
I adore Jane Austen (and clearly, you do to), so I was pretty excited about this! This is the first AU story I've ever read, and I must say, that I'm enjoying it immensely!
Your writing style is obviously unique, but you still manage to capture the essence of Austen, I think, with that sense of humour and wit, but there's still that underlying presence of something much deeper and darker. Already, Rose's character has raised some interesting points about gender equality in the wizarding world, especially considering what we know about their world and how men and women tend to be equal, because magical ability isn't considered to be gender-dependent.
Anyways, I adore Rose - I think she's a fantastic character, with a lot of potential for development and growth. I like how she seems to be a good balance of both Hermione and Ron, yet still her unique self, which is sometimes lacking in other depictions of her.
Lily seems like an interesting character - she reminded me a bit of Austen's Emma, actually.
So excited to see what happens next!
PS: Sorry about appearing as a guest reader. I'm not logged into my account, because my internet is acting weird!Author's Response: Thank you for choosing this story for the swap! It's a lot of fun to write, even if it takes a while to get the right voice in my head for it - Austen's style is very complicated, peppered with satire and wryness. It doesn't always come through as well as I'd like, but I'm really glad to hear that the essence of her style is there. :D
Yay! Someone has noticed the commentary on gender roles! I thought it would make an interesting addition to this story, especially because the wizarding world seems to, historically, include more women in powerful positions. The Minister of Magic before the Revolution was a woman, so I can safely place witches like Ginny and Roxanne in roles that wouldn't at all be allowed for Muggle women. But there's still a tension present that I want to explore, especially with Lily, who almost seems rebellious in her desire to be nothing more than an ornamental wife. Rose navigates the space in between, which gives her the opportunity to observe and comment upon on what it means to be a witch at that time and place. It's something I hope to expand upon as the story continues. :)
It's wonderful that you've enjoyed this story so far, and I hope that you enjoy reading the rest too! ^_^ Report Review
I still can't believe I didn't submit the review on this when I read it the first time. But the good news is, this chapter was just as entertaining the second read through as the first!
Oh. My. God. I feel like I'm in my theater class. Practicing our improv with the Albus and Scorpius scene. Which is perfect. Because everyone knows in Drama you over act, and the fact that no one in the crowd is falling on the ground laughing as Al removes his glove, is just such an awesome credit to your ability write this time period. I could read that entire section over and over.
I am so jealous of you right now. The green envy kind where I almost want to just exit out of this box. But I won't, because.. I pretend to be a big person and all that. BUT! Your seamless transition from the more comic aspect of this t Rose's own thoughts about their society, which clearly hasn't risen from the ashes the way we imagine the world in HP day to have. I just. I want to use big letters at you or something because of that tactic that you've really mastered like no one else I've seen. This second part didn't feel slightly out of place, it felt necessary actually. You gave us this real substance, and it wasn't necessary to make this story awesome, but it absolutely got me more addicted to their world. And know Harry has done something naughty! He's given Rose a way to get past what her aunt said, well I guess he just gave her the name that would lead her to an answer, but still. I just really loved their conversation. It felt like Harry was really seeing that Rose truly is something *more*.
I feel like I never make sense in the reviews I leave you. That's your fault; you're the one who writes so well that I just get mushy.
I can't wait to find out what happens! In the meantime, I'll occupy myself with a step into Minerva's world ;)Author's Response: Yay! It's a great relief to hear that this chapter was as good as the last. It's not just the fact that this chapter was... rather bipolar in nature, but also the amount of time that passes between updates poses a threat to my style. I always wonder whether I can keep up the right tone for this story, as it requires a very specific voice. It's a wonderful voice to use, but it doesn't always come naturally.
Haha, that scene between Albus and Scorpius! It's so wonderfully overdramatic - I had way too much fun writing it, making the seconds tick past as Albus pulled each finger from his glove. These two and Lily are very theatrical, and Rose just watches them and shakes her head in wonder. But from what I've read of this period, this flair for the dramatic was the fashion in courtly circles. It doesn't come into Austen's work to any great degree, but when I read about the Prince Regent or Beau Brummel, I was amazed. That's probably why the crowd doesn't laugh - they see it all as part of the show, and only Rose sees it as alien. Ginny tells her to ignore it and let them perform the duel, but Rose can't because it's just so strange to her - she feels the slight as a real insult, and she wants real revenge. What Albus wants out of it is more ambiguous.
Jealous of me?! :O I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that the transition was seamless! It didn't feel that way to me, but as long as it looks that way, I'll feel better about it. It seemed like such a contrast between the bright stage of the ball and the darkened salons where Rose indulges in her equally dark thoughts. She doesn't belong in that other world - if anything, she's more like the older generation, and Harry not only recognizes that, he respects her for it. Now that I think of it, the second half of the story represents the reality of their world, whereas the first scene is this artificial world that Rose will always oppose. Perhaps she'll even try to pull it down to expose its shallowness. But that might end up being too deep for what I initially meant to be a fun, light story. :P
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing these last few chapters! It means a lot to hear your opinions - you're an amazing reader and reviewer! ^_^ Report Review
Hello, darling! So, I know you've been requesting from me for this story, but let's do away with that from here on out. Mainly because I'm not patient enough to wait, and because I just saw (for some reason??) your Minerva story, and I want to start that. But I want to caught up with this first.
So if you have any specific concerns for the chapters five of this, and the future chapters, *please* PM them to me. That way we both win.. I can review at the speed I want without having to worry that you are online when I open my slots, and you can still list any concerns you have for me to pay special attention to. You're more than welcome to do this when I start your McGonagall story, as well!
Anyway, onto my fangirling I'm about to do for this chapter...
Oh my gosh! I am so happy this was the scene you decided to use from Pride and Prejudice because it's *perfect*! I'm not disappointed that you'll be making this novel your own, I'm actually really excited about it, but I'm still thrilled that you used this scene. I'm giving you big huge lovely puppy eyes right now.
And Rose's humor. Well, your humor I suppose, is just so fitting for the time period. I love dry humor and so far this is filled with the perfectly placed little tidbits of it.
I really liked the peek into Victoire and Teddy's life, I'm actually excited to learn more about all the Weasley/Potter/Lupins during this time frame. It's just like learning about a new character but with that 'oh I know them' feeling. Am I making sense? This is what happens when it's a 'because I want to' review, I tend to just a bit mushy and kind of squiggle things together.
I just can't get over how much I love stepping back into time with your story, it's wonderful!
See you soon, and really don't hesitate on the offer to PM me concerns for chapters with this or the Minerva story!! I'm going to review them anyway; I want you to get as much out of my reviews as you can.. and not just mushy squiggles of words!!Author's Response: Hello! I'm sorry to have taken so long to respond - it was a delight to receive this review from you, as I was waiting to snag a spot in your review queue. It means a lot that you wanted to come and read the rest of your story on your own. It's what I hope for when requesting reviews or doing exchanges, but it still manages to be a rare thing to find the right person for a story. Whenever you're able to read the rest, please do and enjoy it! That's what matters most. :D
It's great that you liked how I used that scene. It's such an iconic one in the whole hate/hate type of relationship emerging from Austen's novel, so I couldn't resist including it. And you like Rose's humour too! You're doing a very job of making this author happy. :P I wasn't sure if that aspect of the humour was going too far, but it is an interesting part of her personality, both letting her rebel and relieve the stress of awkward situations.
Hopefully I'll be able to include more information about the larger family as I continue. I add it as I go depending on what seems necessary to provide background or, I'll admit it, fill up a scene. *hides* But it would be fun to do something on Teddy and Victoire's relationship because it would provide a nice contrast to the dysfunctional relationships of Rose/Scorpius and... others. Thank you for that idea - it's got the wheels turning in my head now, which is always a good thing!
Also thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter! I really appreciate it! ^_^ Report Review
Second line and the emotions are already exploding out of Rose. Oh ze dramatics of the time, I love it. Especially if it involves a harpy upon Malfoy's head (so much more vicious than 'a pox on your house').
Heee, no matter the time period, there is much chair-sinking abound. I can just imagine all these top hats and ladies who can't crouch down because of their corsets trying to duck behind sofas and pillars -- and dearie, here comes the cousin crowd. Weasleys, arriving en masse, always.
THE DRAMATIC GLOVE TOSS. Omg I don't know if you intended for that to be funny, but that was KIND OF HILARIOUS IN MY MIND. Like I have this image of really calm Scorpius and then Albus slowly kettle-whistling and plucking a finger of his glove - and struggling a bit, mind you - and then finally throwing it down in low motion and then the crowd gasps and faints. God, I love this era's dramatics, I really do.
Ooh, but oh dear, I love the politics you've woven in, and the roots in history. I haven't been in a humanities class for ages now, unfortunately :P I'd believe yours actually happened somewhere in France. You know how to paint a quiet tragedy so well - The witch once known as Hermione Granger, that heroine of the Revolution, was long lost in the dungeons beneath the Ch‚teau de Malfois. And then the bits about Ron and Draco (ooh and this, Her hands were stained in ink, her ears ringing with tales of bloodshed and betrayal, the terrible guillotine rising before her eyes.) I love your exploding history, so there.
And just a general GUH over all your description, you've outdone yourself this chapter, Susan. It was so rich and well, historical, for the lack of a better term. I never really know how to paint backstories, and I think this chapter is a wonderful example of how. The past is quite important in P&P, so even better. But yesh, generaly GUHing and now I just want to metaphor everything.
♥ ♥ ♥Author's Response: Gina!!! It was very exciting to see a new review from you. I swear you read my mind when it comes to what I was thinking when writing this chapter. Melodrama was the keyword of the writing process, and in Regency romance, how much more melodrama can you get than the throwing down of a gentleman's glove? Austen was too refined to do it, but HOW COULD I RESIST? I'm certainly not refined. :P And anyway, this is a sort of parody, so bring it on!
I have to admit that I'm a bit worried that I've gotten too much into the genre and am making this story /too/ cliched. There's a chance that I love melodrama and other sorts of dramatics a bit too much. Just a bit. :P I imagined Albus standing there, red in the face, green eyes blazing (just like his grandmother's would, of course), pulling off his elegant gloves, one finger at a time, then he raises it and throws it down with more than necessary force. You know, there's more than a bit of a thing going on between Scorpius and Albus - they've got more of a hate-hate relationship than Rose and Scorpius at this point. Oh dear. XD
I'm really glad that you liked that part with the history. It was in such contrast with the first half of the chapter that I worried it was suddenly too dark - too much of a change from the parody. It's more of how Rose sees the world, using the words that she would use once she got to writing her history of the Great Wizarding War. The first part of this chapter shows many of the worst aspects of her society, and with the second half of the chapter, readers can see how much waste has already occurred so soon afterwards. Society has a very short memory, and it hurts Rose to see that. Society paints her as "different" because it sees her observant and judging eye as threatening, not to mention her knowledge of the very history Society would much rather pretend never happened.
Thank you so much for that compliment, and for the whole review! You've made me feel incredibly better about this chapter, and I can't think you enough for that. I'm having more fun with this story than I ever expected, and it means a lot to hear from readers that they're having fun with it too. ^_^ Report Review
Hi darling! Sorry this has taken me ages to get to! You asked about the switching of PoVís - I didnít find it the least bit confusing! You make it very clear who it is right away, and I think it really kept things new and interesting.
I actually started to feel extremely bad for Lily in this chapter. She wants to be just like all of the socially accepted people, and part of me thinks sheís trying to make herself more like them as opposed to actually being like them.
I really adore the theme of her being embarrassed by her family. How true is that for everyone? Weíve all been in the situation where we just want to roll our eyes and crawl away. My mom is a vegan, so every time we go out to eat she has to spend a million hours grilling the waitress to find a food that doesnít have animal products. Youíve made Lily very easy to identify with on that front. Yes, sheís overly concerned with perfection and a bit OCD - but I feel like she really thinks she has to be. She reminds me of that girl in high school who looks like the popular girls and talks like them, but inside her thereís just something different that keeps her from being one of them. Lily looks and talks, and worries, like all the other ladies looking to acquire a husband - but thereís also something different.
I really enjoyed Albus. He was so different and I just wanted to be his friend. Iím curious if it is just his looks, or if the comments referring to his intelligence are true or just those of a sister
You do a wonderful job at keeping this light hearted, these small jokes you put in helps the story keep a completely different level of interest and lets your voice as an author come through, which I love.
And now! What have you set us up for? I am so excited to see more of this ball!
This was a really wonderful chapter, it had enough magic and mention of past names/ideas (phoenix cuffs and Dumbledore, great additions) to make me feel like Iím reading a fan fiction, but it still is something so different and interesting, I just loved getting lost for a bit in this different world!Author's Response: Don't worry about how long it takes - I'd rather have a lovely long review like this than have you rush (or worse yet, take time away from more important things). This story isn't going anywhere. :D Thank you very much for being able to take the time to read and review it! I do appreciate it.
That's excellent to hear about the switch of POVs (well, it's still 3rd person, but the main focus character switches), especially that it keeps the story interesting. I think I'll include things from Lily's side from time to time - her story will make for a solid sub-plot and will contrast nicely with what happens to Rose.
It's even better to hear that Lily is a character readers can relate to - one would be hard-pressed to find someone who isn't somehow embarrassed by their family (or even just one family member). Lily's situation is perhaps more extreme in that she can't stand about 75% of her relatives, but I'm pleased that this aspect of her chararacter makes her more realistic. You're right to say that she's a bit of a "wannabe" girl, wanting to be perfect and ladylike, but she can't escape being a Potter-Weasley - it hangs about her like a taint, and she wishes it would just go away (both in terms of her family and the aspects of her personality that she keeps out of sight). My first conception of her wasn't this complicated at all! XD It makes me happy that she has these different facets and layers - it will be fun to do more with them as the story continues!
*blushes* Thank you for your wonderful compliments! I could keep saying "I'm glad", but it wouldn't actually express how happy I am to hear these things. This story is taking more work than I anticipated, growing in complexity and depth in exciting ways. Let's hope that I can carry it through until the end! :D Report Review
I am barely familiar with Jane Austen's work and have only read a few pages of her works, but I always found the her novel's 'era' (I don't know what to call it) interesting.
Completely in awe. I can't even begin to explain how amazing this is. I never thought anyone could pull-off a Harry Potter-Jane Austen fanfiction, yet here it is and I am in love with it.
I love how there's so much contrast between the two cousins! Lily is so feminine and mostly cared for finding the perfect husband, so much of what I would expect from a lady in this period of time. While Rose, on the other hand, doesn't really see the point of marriage and wants nothing, but freedom.
I did have some trouble with the language, but that's probably because I'm still not used to the style of it. But, the way everything came together so smoothly helped a lot! So in the end I found myself enjoying and loving the story! :D
I'll be back for chapter two,
Has anyone ever told you how awesome you are? Because you are, like super awesome. :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you for reading and reviewing this story, Izzy! I'm very glad to hear that you enjoyed the first chapter. ^_^ And thank you for those wonderful compliments. *blushes* They've made this week feel a lot better!
It's the era that I love most about this story - I'm actually kind of obsessed with it, so if the narrator begins rambling on about the French Revolution and such, that's me being a history nerd again. :P
It's fantastic to hear that you like how the Potter-Austen combination is working so far, even more so because you're not an Austen fan. I've found it a challenge to maintain a balance between writing in an Austen-esque style while making the story still like fanfiction, and still accessible to readers. I've heard a lot of times from students (and peers) that the 19th century novels are tougher to read, and now that I'm writing in the style of one, I can see the differences. There's a strange sentence structure and word choice involved that take getting used to for many readers. It's something I'll definitely take care to watch for as I write future chapters.
Yay! I'm glad you liked the contrast between Lily and Rose. It's fun to write them that way, especially since, like you said, Lily is the traditionally "normal" one, but her family doesn't see it that way, and it frustrates her continuously, poor girl. Lily wants freedom as well, though in her own way - she wants the freedom that she believes marriage to the "right" man will give her, mostly wealth, position, and stability, a world where she can rule the household rather than be the youngest daughter of the youngest daughter (I think I've made her the youngest cousin, too, which only makes things worse). Sometimes I think she'll turn out to be one of the deeper characters of this story, which is a nice surprise because she didn't start that way in the planning process. ;)
Before I ramble on forever, I'll thank you again for taking the time to read and review this story. I really appreciate it! :D Report Review
Hi Susan! Thanks for requesting - I'm here at last!
Oh man, it's going down! I love how you described the family as "pushing forward" like an army to defend poor Rose. (Lucky for her - I would not want to face this Scorpius Malfoy alone!) To be honest, based on what you put in your request, I'm not quite sure how to interpret this chapter. I seem to recall you saying at one point that it was a parody of sorts, and I certainly viewed the first half of the chapter as being purposefully over-the-top and humorous. I actually think it nicely accents the serious feel of other portions of the story, as you suggested. So no, I don't think more humor is needed - it's funny, but not so much that we lose the plot in the laughter.
I think Rose makes sense, too. Her personality seems more variable than, say, Lily's - after all, her sole aim in life doesn't seem to simply be finding a good match, aside from the way in which she's forcibly propelled toward it by societal customs. The way that she's concerned for Albus, plus the way she ruminates about her family's dark history, seems to suggest that compassion lies at her core. It's nice to see something deep in a world that's ruled by the superficial, so I wouldn't worry about her. I'm sure she appeals to other readers as well :)
As always, your imagery is beautiful, and I loved the way I could just watch the dramatic scene unfold (for example, with the tinkling of earrings and headdresses as everyone shifted to look at the scene unfolding). I still think the plot is interesting, and I also think you're doing a good job of tying in the familiar elements of Pride and Prejudice with the magic of Harry Potter. Can't wait to see the duel next!
Excellent, of course. I hope this is helpful!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Yay! Thank you for being able to stop by and review this new chapter for me! I've been very worried at the lack of reviews for it in comparison with earlier chapters, but I guess I'm to blame for not updating soon enough, and they've all gotten busy with other things. It is depressing (as I know you know), and it's led to me being very insecure about this chapter, not to mention the whole story.
For some reason, I really thought that the second half of this chapter, with Harry and Rose's conversation, had become much too dark, that the historical aspect was taking away from the atmosphere, which is supposed to be more romantic and comedic (in the classic sense rather than the humourous one). I'm glad to hear that my fears were unnecessary and that, in fact, the two parts of the chapter balance themselves out nicely. :) That's all I could ever want to hear! It would likely be overdoing things to include too much parody at once - it's a lesson that some authors probably should take to heart.
It was Rose's variable personality that had me uncertain - I don't want her to appear fickle or unstable, only human, rooted in both reason and feeling. You're right that Lily is the more straight-forward character - even in my plans, she doesn't stray very far from the conventional plot of early 19th century novels. But Rose, I want to make her a writer at some point, so she looks at society as rather silly, but she also feels intensely for those close to her (not for everyone, notably). Thank you so much for your assurances - it means a lot to hear them from you! *hugs* Report Review
Hello Susan! I'm so excited to be reading chapter two!
So, first few things.
You have advise in the first paragraph when I think you wanted it to be advice, but I am also not ridiculously familiar with this time frame - it's entirely possible back then they were interchangeable.
I LOVE Kreacher. I get so sick of reading about the house elf who turned gushy and sweet after all the war tragedy was over. You've kept him perfect and it made me smile.
I also like that you included the bit about Quidditch because it reminded me that these are witches and wizards. Your writing style is so captivating and genuine that, until then, I felt like I was reading one of the Bronte Sisters or Jane Austen works. Then, you know, Ginny walks in with a broomstick and I remembered it was a fanfic.
I love Lily and I think you really have something fun going on with her. Can you fault her for her shallowness? Look at the time she's growing up in; look at what's expected of her. Girls are meant to be shallow, it's Rose whose the oddball out in this - and I love it. It's perfect. Fanfics have basically ruined Ginny for me, but I've really enjoyed your portrayal of her in this! Yay!
Your imagery fits my desires perfectly. There are some stories designed to have that poetic veil, which does require a great deal of imagery - but most are meant to be stories. You have found that dearly coveted area where not too much and not too little are nonexistent. I got very engrossed in this chapter and was never shaken out of it because: Scorpius's long locks of blonde hair danced over his blue eyes and decorated his pale skin, the skin that was as fresh as a newborns flesh and as desirable as the glass of cold iced tea. Okay - yes I just basically created a hyperbole of a sentence, but you get what I mean. There is a point when it does go overboard, and at that point I find my eyes skipping one (or sixteen) sentences. So far you never reach that point and every bit of descriptions you include only enhance your tale.
Now, characterizations. Excuse me as I swoon over Scorpius. I'm not even a big -oh arrogance is yummy- kind of girl. But here, you've done so well at bringing those Darcy like traits into my mind, that I just love it. He's not even necessary arrogant just yet. His dry humor mixed with Rose's initial dislike for him just really made me want more. Which makes me very excited for the next chapter, which means you -as the author- are doing a superb job.
I also really like Rose so far, I almost don't have enough of a handle on her character yet to comment further. I don't want to comment on her when in my head I'm thinking of Elizabeth. I want to make sure that I really know your Rose before delving into her personality, but as of now your entire cast has me fascinated.
This was a lovely second chapter and I hope I could be of some help!
Please feel free to re-request!
JamiAuthor's Response: This is fabulous! Thank you very much for this review, and I'm stoked to see what you think about the rest of the story too! :D
But, first thing's first, the review response:
To be honest, I always get words like "advice" and "advise" mixed up, so I never know which one I'm using (or meant to use) - the only place they're interchangeable is inside of my head. :P Thank you for pointing that out! I'll make the change right away.
It's wonderful to hear that you like the details I've included, such as Kreacher and Ginny's love of Quidditch. Although this is AU, I still want to keep most things the same - or as similar as I possibly can - to maintain much of the same atmosphere of the canon Potterverse. It does lead to some contradictions, like why it's acceptable for witches to play Quidditch, but not become involved in duels. I'm most glad to hear that Ginny's entrance with the broomstick helped bring you back to earth, so to speak (back to Pottearth might be more accurate) - not only is it meant to be a wake-up call for readers, but for myself as well. It's far too easy to lose myself in the history of this period, so I have to keep reining myself in to keep this as fanfiction rather than OF.
Yes, yes, YES! You got Lily in a nutshell. THANK YOU! She is very much a product of her world, and she's actually undergoing her own sort of rebellion - she wants to be the normal one in an extraordinary family. Rose is the oddball, the conventional rebel, but Lily is perhaps the more interesting (because who really wants to be normal? what has led her to make that choice?).
It's fantastic to hear that the style and descriptions are working so well. I definitely worry about going overboard - it's not hard once the ball gets rolling - because I love writing description and making it as vivid as I can, but at the same time, I'm scared as anything that my writing sounds like that terrifying example you've given. It's a great relief to know that the style is well-balanced.
Your comments on the characters remind me of another difficult balancing act in writing this story - how much will the story /and/ the characters become my own? How far will I veer from Austen's novel? I'd like to stay at a safe distance, with only the barest gleams of Darcy and Elizabeth showing through in Scorpius and Rose. Now I'm wondering why I make the writing process so incredibly hard for myself, oh dear.
Anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing this chapter! As always, your reviews are wonderfully detailed and inspiring to read. ^_^ Report Review
This. Is. Amazing. Ahhh. This lovely chapter already has me eager to read more! I especially admired how well you wrote like Jane--it's hard, and you've pulled it off amaaazingly! And just saying, your chapter titles are very good ;)Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm so happy to hear that you've enjoyed the first chapter this much, and I hope that the rest of the story turns out the same (if not better - I can always hope for better :P).
The Austen narrative voice is highly addictive to write, and while it's impossible to capture it exactly, or even in a small degree, I still love the sound of it - the subtle insults, the sly witticisms, not to mention the formality of the language. Gah! It's always fun to come back to write more of this story. ^_^ Report Review
Oh I want to know what happens so badly! What is it that she needs Roxanne for so that she might be able to be at the duel? I shall find this out soon I suppose! As I've said I will be keeping an eye out for this story as it really has caught my eye and kept my interest for the five chapters that you have posted. I really like your Rose and the time frame that you have chosen for your story. I'm excited to see what all will be going on in the chapters to come! Great Job on a wonderful story so far! This will be getting a favorite from me as soon as this review is posted!
I only found one mistake and that was towards the end here: "ďIt you should wish to take part in the proceedings," I think that it should be if. Other than that though everything else was wonderful! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Oh yay! It's great to hear that this chapter has left you on pins and needles. I have the next one planned out to a T, so hopefully in September I can get it on paper. Haha, it's going to be a great chapter to write! :D
I've fixed that typo - thank you for pointing it out! And thank you for all of the reviews - they've meant a lot to receive and to read. I love hearing readers' reactions to stories, especially WIPs because they help guide me in the right direction. It's fantastic that you've enjoyed this story so far! ^_^ Report Review
Oh poor Rose! I can't believe that Scorpius would say such a thing about her! But the ball did not disappoint! I thought it was very well written and your description is once again just amazing! I'm loving this story so much and also so very sad that i only have one more chapter left to read before I have read all that is posted. I will make sure to keep an eye on this story by adding it to my favorites!
I'm excited for Lily that she was getting asked to dance but on the same hand feel bad for rose that she was not asked but at the same time it didn't seem like she was trying to be too approachable. I hope that Scorpius changes his mind and does decide to dance with Rose but as I dont really know Pride and Prejudice I wont know what is really going on until I've read it! I look forward to reading the next chapter! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: The cruellest thing he did was say that in front of others at a ball! I think she could have handled it on her own, but Rose is not accustomed to this kind of social life, so she doesn't know how to respond - how can she without making herself look bad? It's a great moment in the story so far, and it's great to hear that it, and the rest of the chapter, turned out so well. :D
You're right in thinking that Rose wasn't very approachable. She doesn't like dancing, though she's not actually that bad at it - more lacking in confidence than in skill. You'll see that things will go better for her next time. ;)
Thank you again for the wonderful review! You don't need to know "Pride & Prejudice" to read this story, and you're proving why. It means a lot that you've enjoyed it thus far. ^_^ Report Review
At first I was a little confused because I thought I was still reading from Rose's pov but then after reading the first part again, I realized that I was reading in Lily's pov and then from there things began falling into place. I really enjoyed seeing this from her perspective, to see how she thinks and feels about such things and feels like she is the only person in her family who does want to secure a marriage. This chapter was done really well and we are getting to the start of the ball and I'm so excited to see what happens! You're doing a great job with keeping my interest in something that is based on a classic so great job with that as well! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: The POV change was a bit of a risk, and I've checked to make sure that there is a clear marker to show that it's Lily's perspective for this chapter. They are so different in their ways of seeing the world that it could get confusing to switch. But I am glad to hear that including her perspective did work out in the end. I needed to explore her character for myself, and it's fantastic that readers have enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! :D Report Review
Another chapter that was so well done! The description in this was just absolutely wonderful and in particular it really worked during the description of Scoripus and his robes. I love the balance that there is between Lily and Rose and can't wait to see more interactions between them.
I just found one small mistake in this chapter and it was here: " then Rose had more than half a mind to run off to join her Uncle Charles in Roumania." I think its supposed to be Romania instead of Roumania unless thats how it was spelt in this time frame.
Once more I really liked this chapter and thought it did a great job to keep my interest in the story. I'm excited to see more interactions between the different characters, not just Lily and Rose but also their parent's and Scropius as well. Looking forward to seeing the ball! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Thank you! I'm squeeing over your set of reviews for this story - they're definitely setting me at ease about how the plot, characters, and style are developing and settling into place. I'm especially glad that the story is keeping you interested and, better yet, excited! ^_^
I've fixed up that spelling error. Some countries have so many spellings depending on the language you're using that I often get confused - but you're right, Romania is the proper English spelling. :D
Your point about Lily and Rose balancing each other out is wonderful news - the characterization of Lily could easily run into trouble for being too cliched, but I with the two witches, I want to show two sides to this story, two narratives that will reflect upon and intertwine with each other. Report Review
OH! This story just completely captured me and sucked me in! I loved absolutley everything about this story from your word usage to the images you painted for us. Everything flowed so well from one thing to the next and I'm loving the very different characters that you have protrayed from Rose who doesn't want to marry at all to Lily who seems to be so enraptured in the whole idea. I've always had a harder time with the classics in that the language they use is so different, I just can't get past it but here you do a wonderful job taking a classic and put a great Harry Potter spin to it and still allow me to completely understand everything that is going on around your main character.
I came here to read just the one chapter for the review tag but I have found myself so much into this story that I will be reading and reviewing the rest of the chapters as soon as I can. I can't wait to see what happens with Rose and Lily when they go to London for the ball and to see if she does manage to catch the eye of a wizard. Great Job! I really enjoyed your first chapter to this story!
~Slythernichica08~Author's Response: Wow, this is great! It's honey to an author's ears to hear that the story drew you in so quickly, especially when it's about a story I have so much fun writing. :D
I was actually worried about my use of language in this story because I try to take on a sort of Austen-esque, nineteenth-century style - more formal, touched by irony - and I wasn't sure whether that would alienate readers or not. As an English lit teacher, I've heard that complaint about the classics often, so it becomes a hard line to walk when rewriting a classic. It's very good to hear that this story is accessible and understandable - I've evidently found the right balance, and it's something I can stick with throughout the rest of the story. :) The best part of writing this story, though, is adding all of the Potterverse flair to the Regency world of this story - it gets very complicated in my head at times, but that's what makes it a fun challenge to write, trying to fit the two histories together and have them still make sense.
Rose and Lily make the perfect set of leading ladies to write about because they're different, yet the same. They believe in different ideals, yet they're still from the same roots and can't escape their shared history. Lily wants to be the perfect girl of the period, a proper lady who gets married and lives well - she's almost the more rebellious one for this because her parents are liberal-minded and modern. Rose, on the other hand, is the revolutionary, fighting for her place to earn respect and equality, yet circumstances are forcing her into the role of a lady. It would have been better if she was the Potter and Lily was the Weasley. :P
Anyway, before I ramble forever, I'll thank you again for the amazing reviews you left for this story. I really appreciate them! Report Review
Okay here's my first favorite thing. This is really your own, it doesn't require HP to stand so far, and it isn't based directly off Pride and Prejudice (I don't think) if it is, I apologize for not catching any direct references. But this is based off that time period and you have managed to truly put your characters there.
Your style stayed consistent, and I very rarely see a piece where the writer doesn't falter with a different time period.
Rose. I am so happy to see what a different characterization you are giving her! It's wonderful!
My jaw dropped when Lily told Rose that she needs a husband more than her. It was my favorite part of this chapter, I think. I really want to live in your mind when you wrote this! It looks like such a fun place!
I am so excited to see how the mixture of HP, Jane Austin style, and social standing/rules all mix in this!
Gorgeous writing, incredible imagery, and a wonderful evening read ♥Author's Response: Thank you very much! Wow! It's wonderful that you think this story stands on its own like that, and it took me a good think through my own conception of the story to see how right you are. It's quickly become its own monster and it keeps getting more and more complicated in my mind as I write - veering away from P&P and even the Potterverse. It's amazing, and I'm really glad to hear that it's visible to readers right from the first chapter.
Like you said, it's the time period that most strongly holds my interest, closely followed by the style, which is heavily influenced by Austen (though I can only dream of actually capturing her distinctive narrative voice). The French Revolution and what follows is my favourite period in history and has been for a while, so it's just so much fun to revel in it. I love the research involved with making this story, too - the fashion and the history is exciting for a sad nerd like me. :P
This version of Rose is different for me, at least, and I'm glad that it's different in the wider sense. I want her to be an aspiring author, ideally becoming an Austen herself, so she views the world in a unique way - she sees the people around her at a distance, from the observer's point of view, and when she becomes part of the action, the result is strange. She doesn't know how to react in some cases, while in others, she doesn't notice right away what she's getting into. I still have a lot of exploring left to do with this Rose, and I look forward to it. :D
Thank you for this review! It was a great treat, and I'm definitely coming after you for the next chapters - I hope you don't mind! ;) Report Review
I love the combination of classic literature with J.K. Rowling's much more recent masterpiece. The language, the tone, and the satire of society is Austenesque, in both the fore-mentioned qualities and the writing (eloquent and complex, yet absurdly readable). I applaud you and your writing.Author's Response: Thank you very much! These compliments are astounding! I can only hope that I'll be able to continue writing this story up to such a high calibre. It means a lot that you have enjoyed it so far - being able to have fun with both Austen and Rowling's worlds is a great experience! :D Report Review
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