Reading Reviews for Out of Time
155 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Lillylover22 Too Much Time

12th May 2012:
This was a fantastic start. I saw this was a featured story in the hufflepuff common room on the forums. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: It's great that you've taken the time to come try out this story! I hope that you enjoy the rest! :D

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Review #52, by Aphoride Finding Time Again

5th May 2012:
Oh my gosh. I... gosh, I honestly don't know what to say... I just read this all in one go - I couldn't stop, no matter what - and... wow. Just wow.

Right, let's try writing something coherent ;)

It was amazing. Absolutely amazing. The whole plot was so intricately woven together, so perfectly done - I never suspected, not really, that Lily herself was the woman in the portrait, that she was his wife. It occured to me at one point that Lily had had red hair at one point, and if the dye grew out... but I never thought it would actually happen. I didn't think about what was going to happen, really. I was so hooked, I just kept reading. Ah, gosh, all the little things in there that I now understand having finished it - the whole thing with the notes and the cupboard and the rings and the fire - just made it so brilliant. The idea itself is incredible, but the fact that you actually managed to write it without confusing yourself or the readers? Mind-blowing. (Also, I've read Jane Eyre and I barely noticed the similarities in some places until you pointed them out at the end of the chapter :P)

Your characters were wonderful as well. Lily was just so brilliant - so young and naive at the beginning, so foolish and curious and kinda happy-go-lucky in a pessimistic, moody way, if that makes sense. Then, at the end I can absolutely see her turning into the spiteful woman in the portrait, driven mad by the knowledge of what happens in the future. Moody was just perfect. Nuff said. I've never seen a better Moody written, and he's so difficult to write, so all credit to you for that.

I just loved this. I loved it so much. It was absolutely incredible... gosh, it's just perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thank you! This review has had me squeeing for some time now - it's a fantastic thing to have received, not only because it was a surprise, but because it's just plain brilliant. It means a lot that you enjoyed the story so much - to hear it called "perfect" is amazing beyond words. ^_^

The plot twist with Lily and the portrait was a sneaky thing - there were many times when I thought it was too obvious, but others when it wasn't obvious enough. There are so many gingers in the Potterverse anyway that it could have been someone else - maybe even an ancestor of Lily via the Weasleys (that would have been cool, actually - I wish I'd thought of that sooner :P). But what was interesting about making them the same person was that it emphasized Lily's fear that it was all a dream. If it was all happening in Lily's head, then she would be battling herself (the portrait) for the desired object (Moody) and Freud would have a lot of fun. :P

It's wonderful to hear that you liked the characters, too. Sometimes Lily was difficult to work with because she was so bitter and dark, all her ability to hope and be happy buried deep within - but she could feel, and do so profusely, which tears her apart from the inside out. She became far more complicated than I ever expected.

And Moody. ^_^ Oh gosh, I think I fell in love with him myself while writing, so it's a great treat to hear that his characterization in this story was spot-on.

Thank you again for this fabulous review! :D

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Review #53, by fishergirl Finding Time Again

5th May 2012:
Congratulations, once again you have reduced me to tears. This is beautiful.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! This is the kind of emotional response I was hoping for with this story, and it's wonderful to hear that it worked, and that you enjoyed the story. :D

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Review #54, by justonemorefic Finding Time Again

5th May 2012:
SUCH A HUGE CONGRATS FOR FINISHING THIS. I want to shake you and just show you do you know how perfect this ending is? This whole story? I got all teary-eyed the whole way through.

Twenty-seven years together, wow. Twenty-seven before she had to close the loop. There are seriously no words for that whole scene. You have the perfect words. Her dying words ;A; I felt like I understood so much more, from Moody to this future dying Lily to even the missing time in those 27 years and how it might have come to this point.

I'm so happy you ended with the happy scene in which they reunite :3 even if it is bittersweet. Lily seeing Moody's scar for what he thinks is the first time, and his arm around her. Time finally slows down and Lily's finally, truly alive. Endings are so hard, but I love this dual set-up you've given us.

I've blabbered enough, I still don't know how to express just how much I loved this all ♥ This is one of those fics that I'll always remember.

Author's Response: Thank you, Gina! *glomps* It's done! I'm still in shock.


PERFECT?! Yay! The last scene was the ending I wanted to write at the beginning, but as usual, I second guessed myself all the way through, which is where the other two parts came from - there were too many unanswered questions if I left them out, even if it meant breaking the continuity of the narration. Bringing everything full-circle became more important, and I'm really, really glad that it worked.

That death scene is strange because Lily knows that, in a couple of days, if not sooner, her younger self will appear. At once she has the comfort of knowing that Moody won't entirely lose her while also remembering that will also drive him into madness - a necessary madness, one could say, but it must still be painful. Again, the timeline is so twisted that everything is marked by duality - endings are beginnings and vice versa. In my head, if this even matters at all, I saw these two scenes happening simultaneously, the older Lily's hand falling at the same moment as the younger Lily and younger Moody kiss - the scenes would blur together, the cycle never ending.

Thank you so much for helping me through this story. It's been awesome to read your responses to each chapter - they've been really inspiring. ^_^

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Review #55, by recklessly_sweet In Search of Lost Time

21st April 2012:
wow dang you sure know how to spin a story
i am still slightly confused but only a litter
cant wait for hte update

Author's Response: Thank you very much! The story has definitely spun out of control on me, but the end will hopefully explain things and put everything to rights. :D I'm glad that you're enjoying this story!

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Review #56, by GubraithianFire In Search of Lost Time

21st April 2012:
So, um, hi. Remember me?

I just... I don't understand anything and it's glorious but also really, really weird and brilliant and ugh. Susan, you are a genius, and I say this all the time, but you really are. I mean, okay, my head is spinning and my brain is broken and my heart is racing and this... what even. I wish I could be more articulate or at least use more actual words, but I swear, my heart is breaking and there are so many implications to everything Lily does and now will ever do, and the weight of that is making me shudder, so what Lily is going through I can't even begin to begin to imagine. I remember feeling like this at the end of chapter 10 (which I reread in preparation and died upon said reread), but this is just so, so much worse, because Lily is alive and dead and not-dead (I think there's a difference, but I'm probably wrong so ahem)? I... is this the real life/is this just fantasy, I don't know what to say. Time travel has never really been my cup of tea because I simply don't have the mental capacity to plot it out or comprehend it, and this cements all my intense, intense fears of it/admiration for it and I don't even know what I'm saying right now but holy crap Susan you are a genius and we all bow down to you.

-possibly redundant but extremely necessary/deserved bow down-

Author's Response: Gubby! *glomps* I didn't think you had time to read, but you've read mine all the same and that's fantastic! (Well, not for your studying. :P) But really, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story - I can't express how much it means that you like it. ^_^

Heart breaking and head spinning was just what I was going for when writing this story, a drive that's only increased as the story has come along. It's been an incredible experience writing a story like this where plot and character are well-balanced, not to mention a story as intense as this one. Traumatic comes to mind to describe this story, and having the first person narration makes Lily's trauma the reader's - I didn't think about that when starting out, but it makes the story so much more than a regular time travel romance. I dreamed of it working out this way, but never thought it would actually /happen/.

You're the only one so far who has still asked whether this is real or fantasy - I wrote the story with both as strong possibilities. Lily could have dreamed the whole time travel experience (getting the details from books and things she's heard, I suppose), and continues dreaming, coming back into reality before dipping back into the dream again. She questions it, too, but overall, it's easier for her to see the "dream" as real. It's less open-ended in the epilogue, but in the final scene of the ending, I purposely exaggerated the descriptions and colours so that it felt dream-like, as though she'd just lost herself to the dream (another possibility I played with had her dying, hence all of the water imagery, while another has Lily and Moody as Alice's parents). Lily definitely is existing in a liminal space between life and death - whether it be that half-life in which the Longbottom's life (particularly Alice) or the place where Dumbledore and Voldemort exist after death. At the same time, it all may have actually happened.

It's much easier to take credit for the complexities of this story now that I've finished writing, but at the time, I didn't think through the whole thing - some arose to fill plot holes, others to develop character, and still others because they sounded cool. But together, they made something insane, didn't they? It was interesting to explore time travel in this way, and while it's scary that it only intensified your fear of it, it's fantastic that it was also able to increase your admiration of it. Time travel deserves more serious attention - it shouldn't just be used for convenience, but as something highly problematic.

*bows down to Gubby* Thank you so much for your support while I wrote this story. You may not think it much, but it really did help me get through this... mess. I've finally written something that I'm proud of, and I couldn't have done it alone. ^_^

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Review #57, by justonemorefic In Search of Lost Time

20th April 2012:
REVIEW 100~~ (I think, if no one takes it first)

The image of dream!Moody was bone-shudderingly perfect. It was like slow decay, haunting but human. Poor Lucy ;A;

Ooh, I like how you related this with Neville and his mum. And I love his parting words: “You gave him what he deserved, Lily. An honourable end.” It's so kindred.

OH OH NOW WE'RE UNRAVELING THINGS. I took a moment to think about what must be running through Lily's head. I mean, to be unsure if your fate has already happened, if the bulk of your life was already in the past as this strange portrait woman.

OMG THE GRAVE. OMG FUTURE LILY. My brain is breaking. But like omg omg this explains so much. And just the whole idea of it, I will die only to be born again. I will die only to find him again. I will be there at the beginning and at the end. And she has to make this decision or else the past would not have happened at all. It's so tragic -- especially seeing this future Lily and what she becomes (a bit forever haunted) -- but so fitting and fateful at the same time.

&hearts AHHH~ can't wait for the final chapter

Author's Response: Yes, you got review 100! (imagine these words spoken by a game show host and they'll sound more impressive :P) Your reviews are always exciting to receive, and you're so fast at giving them too! Thank you! ^_^

I'm really glad that you liked the dream!Moody - that scene was way too much fun to write, but I wasn't at all sure if it fit with the rest of the story. It's not filler, but rather the author's muse running away on her, and you've shown how it fits the way that Lily's haunted by time and decay - all starting with that attic and the old things, abandoned to rot there. I didn't mean it to work like that. or did I, unconsciously. *shifty eyes* ;)

One cannot resist a scene with Neville! And sad Neville is a heartbreaking character. He's a lot like Lily, but she's never recognized it, mostly because he keeps the tragedy of his life hidden away. When he sees her in that same state, he has to show her that it's not the end of the world, that there's always something to live for, that everything she's done has been important.

How does this whole time loop thing work? I can't figure it out, but just made it up to sound logical at the very least. Lily does change something when she takes time into her own hands and appears at Moody's death - the portrait drives her to it, perhaps because the portrait!Lily didn't find the strength to do it. That's what I had in my head, at least. I don't know if it's possible to change time within a loop, but I like to think that, every time, something happens differently. Certain events have to occur, but how they do so doesn't have to be carved in stone.

I'm really pleased to hear that the graveyard scene worked, that it helped make things make more sense. My original plan left a lot up to the reader's imagination, failing to explain just how the notes worked and who was behind Lily's journey in time, but this way, the controller arrives, only to be Lily herself, on the path to death. The young Lily /has/ to see her future self in order to make the choice, but at the same time, it means that she'll forever know her fate, her death. It makes for a very tragic happy ending.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Your reviews have been a huge inspiration to me. ^_^

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Review #58, by recklessly_sweet Killing Time

18th April 2012:
i am so cunfused
but it is the confusion that spurs me on
nothing makes sense
all is a riddle
please update soon to put me out of my misery

Author's Response: Oh dear, I'm sorry that you're confused! Hopefully the final few chapters will help make sense of things. It's wonderful though that, even with your confusion, you're still driven to continue reading. :D Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #59, by Arithmancy_Wiz Killing Time

6th April 2012:
Pardon in advance if this isn't completely coherent. This is a lot of story to take in in the span of an hour (though I mean that in the most positive way possible). I did a quick read through of the first eight chapters just so I would know what was going on, and then a careful read of chapters nine and ten. You said on the forums you're looking for input on how to structure the end of the story, so I'll try and tailor my feedback with that in mind.

First, I have to say, this story is kind of amazing. And not just amazing as far as fanfiction goes, but really and truly amazing. I've paid for dozens of books not half as interesting and intriguing as this is. It's this odd and wonderful mix of Bronte meets Doctor Who. Lily is all at once the brave heroine Jane, the conflicted, less than whole Rochester, and the crazy, doomed wife Bertha.

Focusing in on chapter nine, this was an incredibly moving chapter. When the chapter opened, I was actually thinking it seemed like a good place to end the story. Lily had traveled Moody's life and now the crazy women in the portrait was going to "wrap things up" by explaining to Lily and the audience what the cabinet was and why she could control it. Then, of course, the story took a left turn (at least for me. I'm sure there were more hints in previous chapters but I may have missed them in my haste). Lily was now off to fill a noble destiny: to be with Moody when he died. How sad and lovely and poetic. Again, I'm thinking, good place to end. Tack on a prologue and you're set to go.

Then I get to chapter ten. Once again I'm thinking, we are ready for a wrap up. Lily will reflect on how she is a better person for knowing Moody, even briefly, and the story ends on a somber but introspective and hopeful note as Lily thinks on how she - handicapped as she is - can do great things. Just like Moody, with his missing leg and one good eye. But of course, another left turn. Lily IS the crazy women in the portrait and now must find her back to Moody to be his wife.

Wow, what a ride.

Based on all this, I'm trying to think of helpful suggestions on structuring the ending. I think, after two false (though highly effective) starts, the story does now feel like it's ready to end. The further away we get from the time travel, the more it diminishes that part of the story. I think the next chapter should be THE big one. Where Lily finds out how to be master of the cabinet and everything she has to do to reach the life she wants to live. I think you mentioned there were two more chapters left and you weren't sure where to divide them...? Not knowing, of course, what you've written/plan to write, if I was sketching this on paper, I'd say the next chapter ends with Lily reaching the point of full understanding - where she comes to terms with who she is, how to get back in time, and what leaving the present will mean for her current life. The last chapter would then be the final physical steps that get her into Moody's arms. It would be perfectly poetic if somehow both their injuries played into it...It's something that makes them different from others but similar to each other and it would be fitting to see that physically bring them together in the end. But that's just an aside really.

I think you hit the nail on the head as far as the "moral of the story" in chapter nine with these two lines:

For what was a person but their time? The times they failed. The times they succeeded. All action, all feeling, was based on time.

The same attic, the same cabinet, but not the same Lily Potter. No. She was gone forever.

To me, however you structure the ending, it should totally tie back into this. Lily does not start this story a happy person. Obviously, a big part of that is because she feels less than whole. As a reader, I want her as a character to see beyond that. To see that the bad parts of her life have made her who she is, have led her to this point - to Moody. Only by becoming MORE disfigured, by traveling further down a bad road, can she find her "time" of happiness. Moody loves everything Lily will become. She must learn to love everything she is right now.

I have NO idea if any of this is helpful or was in any way what you were looking for. I've never done this kind of review before and I may be so off base on how you plan to end the story that none of the above is of any use to you. Should that be the case, then just take away that this is an AMAZING piece and you've got a new reader who is anxious to see how you bring it all to a close.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for coming to read and review this story - it was a great surprise and honour to have a staff member take the time out to help me finish off this story. Like I mentioned in the comment, you discussed ideas that I'd been thinking over myself, but I wasn't sure whether they would work - it was fantastic to get a second opinion and it's made me feel a lot more confident that I can actually finish this story and do so successfully. :)

Oh my gosh, you've got it in a nutshell! The story is very much Doctor Who and Jane Eyre put together, just as Lily is a strange combination of the courageous Jane, mad Bertha, and maimed Rochester. I didn't mean at first for her to be all three, merely a combination of Jane and Bertha (both the love-object and the despised, monstrous wife, which is why they're forbidden from seeing one another until Lily possesses all the necessary knowledge), but throughout the story she is physically marked, damaged in body and mind - and those marks are eerily similar to those of Rochester's with the leg and now the scars. Creepy. These unintentional things are great to find, though - I'm glad when readers find them out! :D

It is getting close to the wrap up. It's strange how many ways this story could end - like you mentioned how the portrait could just explain things and bam, there's the end. Then there's these chapters back in her own time - again, the story could just stop there. But I do want to try and give a happy ending of sorts, one that follows through the romantic aspects of this story. I hope that I'm not dragging it along by doing so, yet it's funny because I keep thinking that I'm wrapping things up too quickly. XD Ending this story is hard, not because I don't know what to do, but because I've enjoyed writing it too much.

Thank you SO MUCH for your suggestions for the final two chapters. It made a big difference to get another opinion and visualize the conclusion from an alternate point of view. I made the next chapter end a little vaguely, though it's pretty obvious what she's going to do - there are parts of the story that I just don't want to explicitly relate (does she say goodbye to her parents? does she pack before she goes? does she just leave immediately? that sort of thing), all of which is left up to the reader's imagination.

What your review inspired me to do was make the explanation of the time travel more important - somehow, Lily has to find out how all of this was possible. There had to be someone behind her journey, and that question needed to be answered... yet in my original plan, I didn't include it. The other major thing was the necessity of having Lily think over her future - what does she want to do, how can she do it, and will she choose to live out her future in the past? I thought a lot about this after reading your review, and it added a lot of meat to the next chapter, really fleshing out Lily's character and her intentions in a way that wouldn't have otherwise happened.

YES! That would be a perfect way of tying the story together! I was planning on remarking on the similarities of their injuries - he returns from the war with the magic eye, and therefore both of their faces are scarred (ideally, in a mirror image, but I have to recheck my details). It will help unite them at the end. What I didn't think about was that Lily should use that to see beyond her own disfigurement and even find the beauty in it. That's perfect! ^_^

This was extremely helpful! I'm writing the last chapter now and I've come back to this review for reference a few times - it puts the pieces more firmly together in my mind. I will finish this story! It'll be awesome! And I'll owe a lot of it to you. Thank you!

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Review #60, by WeepingWillows Too Much Time

29th March 2012:
I really enjoyed this first chapter! :) Using the idea of the vanishing cabinet was a brilliant idea and I loved Lily's reaction to the note. Sometimes using the timeturner can be such a cliche idea and this idea was just so fresh and original!

I can't wait to see what the future chapters has in stored for us :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you've liked the first chapter, and I hope that the rest is just as enjoyable (ideally, more so :P).

I wish that I could take credit for the vanishing cabinet idea, but it's been exciting to explore different ways of making time travel work in the Potterverse. :D

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Review #61, by Sakurasou Killing Time

19th March 2012:

I just read this whole story in one go and my mind is blown. You characterisations, atmosphere, descriptions, not to mention the actual plot are all so powerful. I really like how Lily moves from one time to another so quickly, everything is happening so fast that it just draws me in more and more (even though inside I'm dying for them to have to have more time together, for their sake).

But onto this chapter specifically- the end. What! My mind is going crazy with speculation, was she the wife all along? It makes sense and yet... it would be so devastating that she died :( This chapter was amazing (like the rest). Harry was spot on, I usually have trouble imagining him as a parent but it seemed so natural here. It seemed right that he believed her.

Sorry if that was all very jumbled, my brain is frazzled from awesomeness. But I really love this story, and I can't wait (read: I am desperate) to read the next chapter.

x SakuraSou

Author's Response: Whoa, this is quite a review! Thank you so much for it, and for taking the time to read the whole story through. It means a lot that you've enjoyed it this much, more than I can possibly express. ^_^

The quick pacing of this story is something I tend to forget about, and others have told me the same thing, that it feels longer than it actually is. Most of the story happens in a ridiculously short period of time, but the style of Lily's narration draws time out - she wants those moments to have lasted longer, but that's impossible because time is relentless and cruel. Time makes a wonderful villain for a story, doesn't it? :P

The problem of knowing about her own death is something that Lily will have to deal with - that is, if she makes the final choice to go back in time again. She still has the option at this point to remain, but either way, she's not going to be happy forever. What I wanted to do was show the negative side of the time travel romance, particularly if the travel is backwards - the protagonist will have to face the knowledge of her own death taking place before she is even born. I don't want to gloss over the negative aspects of time travel.

Thank you so much! I'm very glad that you've enjoyed the story and its plot and characters. Hopefully I'll finish that next chapter soon! :D

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Review #62, by fuzzypurpleangel Borrowed Time

9th March 2012:
OMG :O This chapter was so graphic. I'm normally lazy, and rarely ever review, and I apologize that I didn't review for earlier chapters. I usually just hit add to favorites when it's good. But this time, i had to review. I think all the stories that you wrote so far that i read are sooo original. Lily II and Moody? That's like almost unthinkable, even though it's a time travel fic. I think it's really nice, though. (Even thought the thought of old Moody and that girl on the banner is sort of disturbing...) So, please keep posting!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing, though! I hoped that writing a shocking chapter would bring people out of the woodwork - and it did! :D It means a lot to hear that you think my stories are original and that you've enjoyed reading them.

It is a little disturbing, and often because it's all in words I don't always think about that aspect of it - then when I re-read and visualize it, I have to rethink those passages in case they're too... uncomfortable. It's definitely a problem with writing time travel stories. :S

Thanks again for taking the time to read and review! ^_^

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Review #63, by LilyFire Behind the Times

1st March 2012:
You gave excuses that were unneeded. This was another brilliant chapter. I love how you had them interact and just everything about it.

Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you very much! I'm really happy to hear that you enjoyed how this chapter turned out. ^_^

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Review #64, by LilyFire The Worst Time

29th February 2012:
Again, you have entranced with your words. I dont know how you do it, bring the characters and scenes and everything to life in a womderful way so that they play before my eyes. I've read published authors with a lot less talent and ability than you posess.

And the plot of this story is so good. It still remimds me of The Time Travelers Wife, but I feel that Moody and Lily will never end up like the two from that story, while still thinking that maybe-just maybe-the woman in the portrait is Lily and that is why she doesnt show herself.

Anyway, its an amazing story.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :O I'm very glad to have written something that's had such an affect upon you. Your compliment is amazing, and I don't know what to say in response except for a big, happy "thank you!" It means an incredible amount that you think I have that much talent. ^_^

After these early chapters, the similarities to TTW die down, not entirely, but this story doesn't jump around in Moody's life - it's more linear than TTW - and of course the ending is different. Still with a touch of the tragic, but not quite so melodramatic as TTW. :P I'm not revealing anymore about the plot than that.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing the story! I hope that you enjoy the rest as well! :D

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Review #65, by LilyFire The Wrong Time

28th February 2012:
Wow. It reminds me a lot of The Time-Travelers Wife, I don't know if you've read it? But I think it's still brilliant and I love it, and I shall read it all! Really though, it's amazing.

Author's Response: I have read it, and certain aspects of it are here in the random nature of her time travel (seemingly random, I mean) and the way that she meets him at different times of his life. It's funny because I didn't even think of that book while writing - I had more of Doctor Who in mind, - but once I found out, I changed a lot for the next few chapters. ;)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts about this story. ^_^

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Review #66, by LilyFire Too Much Time

28th February 2012:
The beginning of this story is amazing. I just want to keep reading and reading and've got a great start. I'm not quite sure what it's about, since I don't like to spoil stories for myself, but it seems like it's going to be wonderful.

I love Lily so much-her voice is very real, and the story is too (well, you know what I mean). If this were a physical book, I wouldn't be able to put it down.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for trying out this story! I'm glad to hear that you've liked the first chapter and want to keep going - there's really no finer compliment to receive for a story. ^_^

I think I know what you mean about the real-ness of the story, and it means a lot that you find the narration and story real in that way. :D Thank you!

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Review #67, by Snapdragons Killing Time

28th February 2012:
Wait wait wait wait what? I don't even - I don't - yeah, okay, I'm coming back to the ending. All right. Rest of the chapter now.

It feels sort of strange now, being back in the present with Harry and Ginny and everyone - not bad, just strange. It makes you feel sorry for Lily, how disorienting it must be to be skipping through time like that only to end up where she started once more.

I liked that Healer Patil did believe her, because she did know him, and, as you said, She could not after all the things she has known and seen. I also liked how you brought up the point that a lot of people forgot the war effort that happened at Hogwarts and the sacrifices that had to be made there, too.

Harry's reaction was also right, I thought - I felt as though if anyone was to believe, it would be Harry. It was the perfect balance of the Harry the father and the Harry that knew Mad Eye - I don't know, I just felt like it really worked well.

But basically what really struck me was the end. THAT END AH. Her face. The mirror. Moody's wife. I am immediately going to go back and read the beginning all over again - clues. They've been there the whole time. Sort of. Kind of? I don't even know what's going on really but - Lily and the woman in the portrait are somehow connected/the same. Is that why she wouldn't show her face at the beginning? The worst time? I don't even know. It's almost there, almost - but I can't quite get it completely.

This chapter brings it full circle and really illustrates what a commendable author you are - it's delicately told, masterfully so, with these gorgeous phrases and details stuck in there and it's honestly such a delight to read. Once I step in the world, it's like I never want to leave. eep. I will now commence bothering you for updates.

I'm not sure how coherent these reviews were as a whole - but I thought it was only fair that I reviewed as I read, so you'll have to put up with it! :) I truly loved this and am so so so glad I caught up. ♥

Author's Response: Your reviews are definitely coherent! Not to mention amazing and inspiring. :D I love this review-as-you-read style because I can follow along really easily and it also makes the review feel far more immediate. There's no putting up with anything with a review as wonderful as yours. ^_^

Oooh, I'm very glad that you used "disorienting" in relation to Lily, not only because it's spot on correct, but it's also the feeling I wanted to create for the reader, entering into a dream-like narrative that follows Lily's confused thoughts. She's lived through decades all in a single night, and it has a horrible effect on her, and she was already weak to begin with, so the results are very sad.

It's also great to hear that Harry's characterization worked out. He's always a challenge, though I can manage him as an adult, but in this story, he means so much to Lily, even more now that he's one of the few ways she can have a connection to Moody.

Haha, that ending! The clues are there - not all of them, but enough are there, hidden throughout the story. The trick with the first chapters is that Lily can tell them in retrospect - she tells the story already knowing about the scars, the portrait, and their meaning, but she withholds that information. It's the one thing she doesn't want to tell anyone because they would be too upset. The portrait doesn't tell either because of the rules of time travel - the present Lily can't know until she's ready. She has to come to that conclusion herself, otherwise it would threaten history (isn't that always the way with time travel? :P). It's not completely settled yet, though - it's still an assumption, still possibly a coincidence, but then again, I still have two chapters to go! ;)

Oh wow, thank you for your compliments! They're wonderful and I can't thank you enough for them, this review, for reading and loving it. ^_^

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Review #68, by Snapdragons Borrowed Time

28th February 2012:
Ha, remember how I said last chapter was heartbreaking? Just kidding. This is heartbreaking. This is even worse. how do you do this? D: agh

First off: she figured out how to use the cabinet. Loved the line about how it had been using her. But one of my other favorites was definitely this - For what was a person but their time? The times they failed. The times they succeeded. All action, all feeling, was based on time. and how time controls you. You have these sentences just scattered about and they're just so profoundly beautiful and perfect that it just makes you pause to take them in for a minute.

Moody's wife is kind of creepy - I'm not totally sure where I stand with her. She's resentful, and I can understand that - though I admit I was a little confused at some points, like what it was that Lily brushed off as a trick of the light - but then again, I do often miss small details. :)

His last moments... ahhh. I remembered how in DH they hadn't been able to find his body, and how oddly/sadly fitting that it was Lily who made it disappear. Yet... at the same time, I'm glad she burned it - it wouldn't be right to have the Snatchers take it.

But now I'm curious as to what he meant! gahhh, cryptic till the end, that Moody.

How a magic eye does not burn. How could I have forgotten? Such a powerful ending. I absolutely loved it.

I feel as these are slowly becoming more and more rambling/less and less coherent as time goes on, but I'll do my best to wrap it all up in the next review. :P Onward!

Author's Response: Yes, this chapter is the really, really, really bad one. I was in agony writing it because it's so incredibly sad - I don't know why I do this to myself, or better yet, to readers. She finally finds out so much, only to have so much more wrenched from her grasp.

I wish I knew where those lines came from! It takes a weird mood to write this story with a lot of weepy and romantic music, not to mention a darkened room - then those kinds of phrases emerge. Lily has such a way of saying these things - it's almost scary to have her inside of my head.

Haha, those small details. :P You'll see. Just you wait!

The end portions of this chapter required a lot of canon-finangling so that it would all fit together. I think the timing was or is off somewhere by a few hours, but for the most part, I wanted this story to be an extension of the canon - it may be a seemingly impossible pairing and plot, but it still fits into the timeline. The eye posed a problem because, originally, I wanted her to come across it in her own time, but I found out that'd be impossible because Harry buried it in the Forest of Dean. Silly Harry, getting rid of something so important!

Anyway, look who's rambling now? :P Thank you again for reading this story, enjoying it, and leaving these lovely reviews! Following you through the story is a great experience. :D

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Review #69, by Snapdragons In Due Time

28th February 2012:
My goodness, you've managed to break my heart in a chapter. Thanks a lot.

But it was heartbreaking. And, as Lily said, it made me realize what Moody must have felt during her first/his last meeting - one oblivious, the other knowing too much. Knowing what's in front of him, knowing what's going to happen without knowing if she'll ever see him again... D: Bah. This honestly is sort of tragic. ;=;

And little Moody was just adorable. You could see traces of who he'd become in him - but at the same time, he was missing the gruffness, the lack of trust, the scars. Just a child- a bright child, but a child nonetheless. His enthusiasm to help, the flower... gah. Alastor!

I love the timeline and how it has the parallel worlds sort of thing going on - seeing the man that Moody will become, seeing the woman that Lily's become. She's grown so much in such a short period of time - but then again, time here is relative, is it not? :P She's matured so much, and the character growth has been delightful.

And now... to the end. What's the end, I wonder? Again, bright side with being behind = not waiting for chapters. Success.

beautiful beautiful beautiful. Now on to the next!

Author's Response: *runs and hides*

Well, to be honest, I wanted this story to be very, very sad - the most romantic story I could write, which, for me, means tragically heartbreaking. I'm very sorry, but I couldn't be happier to hear that it's been a successful venture. ;)

This is oddly the happiest chapter of the story, mostly because of Moody's innocence - something that Lily simply doesn't have, even when she first meets Moody. He is pretty adorable, especially when he fetches the flower, which is probably what makes it more painful for Lily because she can't help but see what he will become each time she looks at him. I can't imagine how painful this chapter must have been for Lily - it doesn't come out that much in the narration, though it's starting to slip here with more fragmentation, etc. It's funny writing a first person narrative while knowing that my narrator is continuously keeping things back from me.

I'm really glad that you like the whole paralleling aspect of this story - it's the best part of the plotting for me, though it does make things complicated too, especially with characterization. I'm pretty much developing Moody backwards, writing his story from the end to the beginning, while Lily's goes from beginning to end. It's insane! But I love it, and I'm glad that you love it too. ^_^

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing again! These are so wonderful to read and respond to!

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Review #70, by Snapdragons Time is Running Out

28th February 2012:
Okay. This is kind of unacceptable. I have no idea how I ended up falling so far behind on this, but I'm determined to fix this problem today. It feels like the perfect day to sit down and read a slightly dark, beautifully written, time travel piece. Yes. I am excited now. :) So prepare for a bombardment of reviews. :P

But as soon as I opened this chapter, it was lovely - I remembered how much I loved the way you tell this story, and I do. It's a little mysterious, almost old-fashioned. Well, that's not really the right word for it, but bear with me. It feels almost classical - which I mean in a good way, I promise! ah, this is getting longwinded. Suffice to say that the way you tell this story is elegant and gorgeous.

It feels as though this is the moment when both of them are sort of at the halfway point, almost equal in knowledge. Beyond here, he'll be younger, and before this (oh god trying to explain the timeline is impossible haha) Lily was clueless.
He would say them again, one day, to the same girl, the girl who never changed, never seemed to age because she was, in fact, growing younger as he grew older. Knowing less as he knew more. Was this all that we would share? I think it was the confession of love - it's sort of a marker in time for both, and I don't even have the words to describe how it made me feel - sort of melancholy, bittersweet, and beautiful all wrapped up in one.

And such a cryptic ending! I'm sort of excited to see how the beginning will be - and that last line, naturally. Someone else opened the door. Way to leave us hanging! Good thing I'm so far behind I can read the next chapter immediately? :P

Honestly such a gorgeously crafted story - now I'm going to hurry up and finish so I can get to the next chapter. Be back in a few minutes! ;)

Author's Response: Join the club of "forever behind on reviewing" reviewers - my list only ever gets longer, no matter how many stories I review. I totally don't blame you for losing track of this one, and it's a fantastic treat that you've come back to continue reading. Now it's up to me to keep up with this lovely bombardment of reviews! ^_^

Ooh, elegant and gorgeous! *dies of squee* How am I supposed to respond to this?! I can't describe how bubbly happy hearing these compliments makes me. There's definitely an old fashioned atmosphere to this story, and I think it's getting worse as I go along (until the last posted chapter and the one I'm currently working on - they're very different) because of all the Victorian novels I'm reading for school. They're very influential to my writing, I've found, and that influence is perfect for this story, which is very much a Gothic romance. I'm so glad to hear that the style and everything is working out so well! :D

This part of the plot, this and the previous two chapters, are the midpoint of the story, that crucial point where she and he are the same age and are almost equal (keyword: almost). She will always be cursed with the knowledge of his death, which adds a bittersweet note to any romance that they share - she loves him but can never forget the future. Ah, it's so hard to explain - it makes a lot more sense in my head, and hopefully it will make more sense once I've completed the ending.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this chapter! It means a lot to hear that you've enjoyed reading it. ^_^

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Review #71, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Behind the Times

24th February 2012:
You know Moody so, so well. I know you've written quite a bit of him outside this story, but even so, your respect for him comes out both in Lily and just in the depth you went into him here. When he drank from his flask to test Lily, and visibly relaxed when she failed to take advantage of him, I was absolutely blown away.

I actually lied in my last review. I said I'd be loud about any suggestions or criticisms, and I already broke that promise. Last chapter, I kept waiting to see how Lily and Moody's relationship was different than the prior chapter, if thirty fewer years would mean he knew her less. It was obvious Moody was a different man, but I found only slight examples of them knowing each other less well. Here, however, it is now far more obvious, so I need not have worried. ;)

Lily is increasingly fascinating. In addition to Moody, you've also developed her very well. She's very human, with her contradictions (wanting to be alone but also tying herself to Moody as she tells herself this), her worries, her confusion, and her bits of self-loathing.

This still rings if Rebecca, I can see, what with the way Moody left all his late wife's things just so and her presence that bothers Lily. And is her excuse for leaving. I suppose the big difference is that here, Lily knows he loves her.

There are so many things I love about this story. I love that you had three moments here that left me breathless: the chase up the stairs (we all love a good chase, don't we?), the kiss (of course, the kiss! And I wasn't expecting one so early on, though now I realize I should have, what with their huge history that only Moody knows of) and also the introduction to major consequences. I was so focused on Lily and Moody that I forgot that her time traveling could unravel the conclusion we waited seven books for, the death of Voldemort. It's all just incredible. Incredible.

Author's Response: Thank you again for coming to read this story! It's wonderful to follow along with you - it's very helpful for me as I try to think of the best ways to write the two final chapters. They're planned, but I want to get them just right. :D

I'm glad that you like my characterization of Moody. Looking back, I have written him a lot, all in smaller roles, but he keeps reappearing. He's one of those interesting characters in the series that I'm continuously curious about. Trying to find a satisfactory answer to my questions about Moody just hasn't happened, though, so I've created my own headcanon. :D I like your use of the word "respect" because, when I think about it, I do respect him, both as a detective-like character and as a person dealing with a psychological condition. People call him mad, but I've never been sure enough to agree - a serious case of PTSD sounds more like it. I like being able to explore characters such as him in greater detail to fill in the blanks - it's the draw of fanfiction. :D

It means a lot that you like how Lily is turning out, especially since, unlike Moody, I've never written her in this way before, nor any other character. Although she's literally had it all - a happy and supportive family, a good time at school and good friends - but there's always been something missing for her: a sense of purpose. The problem comes from inside of her rather than from the outside world, which makes the first person perspective more important to this story.

*squees* Your compliments! They're amazing! I wasn't expecting something so many of them, and I appreciate them very much. ^_^ It's funny because I've been purposely including cliched romance elements because I've never written a true romance before - one of heart-stopping drama and swoon-worthy moments. Every other pairing I've written is fractured in some way, either pulled apart by circumstance or constantly having to fight to stay together. But there's something about Moody and Lily that's just meant to be - they're constantly pushed together and don't even try to resist it. It's a wonderful experience to write this kind of story - an indulgence equivalent to eating lots of ice cream. :D

Thank you so much again!

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Review #72, by long_live_luna_bellatrix The Worst Time

23rd February 2012:
So here I am again, slowly making my way along. I read this chapter in bits in pieces, so I'll just chat a little about some of the ones that stood out for me. :)

Firstly, I can't believe Lily's been going back in time for at least thirty years of Moody's life. Well, I can believe it, but that's a long span of time for them to cover. And because she remains the same age, it means the adventures must come one after the other for her. It's so odd to try and balance the two in your mind. Time travel is tricky business, but you're handling it well so far.

It's also fascinating to think that Lily is the cause of Moody's true madness. If that's what you were going for. Because it makes perfect sense that Moody would go mad watching Lily come in and out of his life for thirty-plus years, and it's as original an idea as I've ever seen.

Yet another good wrinkle was the introduction of Moody's late wife. I've read Rebecca far more recently than Jane Eyre, and I see the connection. I'd love to know why he married her and more of their relationship, and how Lily plays into it all. It's not exactly a common situation. ;)

So, once again, great job all around. If I find anything worth suggesting I assure you I won't be quiet about it, but until that day I'll just keep heaping on the praise.

Author's Response: Bits and pieces works very well - I do it all the time, too, mostly because of a lack of time, but that's the fun about fanfiction; it never has to go back to the library on time. :P It's fantastic that you've come back to continue reading this story - I really appreciate being able to hear from you!

The strangest and perhaps most difficult part of this story is the way that Lily doesn't age at all while she's travelling through someone else's lifetime. Yet although she's not aging, she is developing because of the amount of time that she travels through; she changes considerably, and that's what odd about the schematics of this story, but I'm glad to hear that it's working out. :)

It would be maddening to have someone continuously appear in your life who doesn't change while you keep growing. It's a pretty common plot in science fiction, when I think about it, so I knew the basics of how it should work. It doesn't happen in fanfiction very much for some reason, though Doctor Who has done it, as have a lot of books I read when younger. However, making it work for Moody is the challenge: fitting the whole plot into his background in a way that's canon - taking his character in the books and pulling it apart slowly as I move further back in time.

I can't say anything else about the plot, though, if you'll excuse me. :P I look forward to hearing your opinions on how things develop! Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story!

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Review #73, by lia_2390 Too Much Time

18th February 2012:
I'll tell you right now. I don't have a bad thing to say about any of this - at all. It's the type of writing that makes me sit back, and wonder why on earth you aren't published.

I tend to avoid certain eras simply because I find that the plot has already been written, but by another hand. Next Gen is one of those eras. But I do admire writers who go beyond the teenage scope, and play with out-of-the-box scenarios. This story of yours is no exception.

There's something about your writing that always makes everything seem so simple. Your use of description, not at all overdone, drew me in from the start. It was quite stunning. Then there's the introduction of your main character who I think I'm beginning to like very much. She's not like the Lily Potter's we've all read about elsewhere - as the youngest of the Potter clan, you've made her a little less immortal, if that makes sense. People tend to put these characters up on some sort of pedestal.

She's damaged, and I think the entire tone of this first chapter shows that. It's not something I can explain, but it most definitely is what drew me in.

The allure of exploring an empty house is strong, added to the plants who clearly have minds of their own. You've hit the ground running with your plot too. You've given the readers some insight into your character, and how she's viewed by others without giving away too much. It was very smooth too. Then there are the subtle hints that I suspect will show up later - for instance the inscription on that ring.

I really enjoyed reading this, the writing overall was fantastic. See, I told you I had nothing bad to say about it;)

I loved the Chronicles of Narnia reference, by the way :)


Author's Response: This is fabulous! Gosh, I've read this a few times and still been stunned into speechlessness by your review. Thank you for these wonderfully inspiring words - they really mean a lot to hear!

This version of Lily I meant to be entirely the opposite of the previous Lily I'd written - the spoiled, overtly-feminine daughter of very powerful parents - so that I could be more fair toward her character. The fame of her parents wouldn't necessarily have to corrupt her, but she could instead take on their humility and thoughtfulness, Harry's selflessness combined with Ginny's loyalty and love. She's developed a lot since this first chapter, but I'm glad that her character was strong from the beginning, someone readers could feel a connection with.

This is definitely a story filled with clues - nearly all of the details literally come back to haunt Lily, each part of a larger puzzle she has to solve. It poses a challenge to keep up with all of the clues I've added, but it makes writing the story extremely interesting. :D

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! I really appreciate it! ^_^

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Review #74, by long_live_luna_bellatrix The Wrong Time

4th February 2012:
Wow, very interesting. What I liked best here was the intimate relationship Alastor and Lily clearly had, yet she saw it as an outsider. You portrayed that very, very well, just in the way he treated her, though I could also see how at ease she was with him. They've also already got that connection with their two crippled legs, a good point. Have you by any chance read The Time Traveler's Wife? There too, a time traveler appears at different times in a girl's life, so that she knows him long before he knows her.

As with everything of yours that I've ever read, this was well written, flowing, very comfortable to read. You've combined a good idea and sympathetic characters nicely. You promised such a story in this one chapter, with Alastor's brevity, and if I wasn't hooked long ago this would have sealed the deal.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad that the relationship showed through even though Lily really didn't know what was going on - it was very one-sided, yet at the same time I had to tell it from Lily's point of view, so it was a challenge to get that intimacy across. That they're both crippled in much the same way also helps, at least on Lily's side, because finally she's come across someone like her, and that gives her a closer connection to him than she's had with anyone she knows since her accident.

I have read parts of the Time Traveller's Wife, and the idea is sort of similar - I more based this story's timeline off of the Eleven/River romance in Doctor Who, in which the characters live through each other's lives in reverse. It's a very interesting concept to explore.

*blushes* Thank you for those lovely compliments! It means a lot to hear them from you and that the story has hooked you in so effectively. ^_^

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Review #75, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Too Much Time

3rd February 2012:
For me, this had everything a first chapter should have. An interesting character, one I can sympathize with, as well as a bit of a conflict that hints of adventures to come. Your style is engaging, and provided just enough detail for the reader to get submerged in it. On top of it all, you have what looks like quite an original idea. I enjoyed it immensely.

From just a couple thousand words, I can see into Lily's relationship with her mother, her despair at a childhood long gone, how she stands compared to her brothers. The message she found in the vanishing cabinet, "You will find what you seek inside," was particularly enchanting. The prospect of diving (or I suppose collapsing, in Lily's case) into another world with the promise of finding what you're looking for is so incredibly appealing. Especially if you don't have a solid idea of what you're looking for. I'm interested to see what Lily seeks; this promises a wonderful story.

Author's Response: Oh wow, even after some time has passed, this review still gets me feeling all squeeful and bubbly - it's such a wonderful review, all of the ones you've left are, and I don't know how to thank you enough. :)

First chapters are a challenge, aren't they? Though I'm glad I hit the spot with this one - the story was very much an experiment at first and I wasn't at all sure how it would turn out. The plan was for something much smaller, but it's long out of my control now. I worried that, because of the later change in plan, this chapter would sound restrained and I planned on editing for language and style a bit. I still might, but it takes a load off my shoulders to hear that it's a successful introductory chapter with all its details and clues of what's to come. Lily is a fascinating character to write, and I'm glad to hear that readers are finding the same of reading her. Thank you! :D

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