But this was a such a well-written chapter! I'm glad that there was such emotion, because it was evident in the writing.Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad that the emotion came through in the writing - I don't know what about it was so overwhelming for me, but if it made for a better chapter, then I won't complain. ;)
Thank you again for all of these reviews! It's wonderful to hear that you're enjoying the story! :D Report Review
This story is incredibly well written. 10/10Author's Response: Wow, thank you! ^_^ That's a fabulous compliment! Report Review
This is such a wonderful story! I love the way you start it. It's very mysterious, though not overdone. And very well written. I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm really glad that you've liked the first chapter - it's always important to leave a strong impression right from the beginning. ^_^
I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story too! Report Review
I couldn't imagine anyone with so many enemies, except for my father.
^Love this. Lily makes an excellent point.
This is so delightfully creepy! I don't think I was expecting as much suspense as I found in this chapter, and it's really pulled me in. You've got the plot suspense - Moody having a wife, Moody being madly in love with a girl from the future - and the suspense that you've written in your haunting imagery. The ending line actually made me jump.
Gah, I think this review is useless, but this is so interesting! I really admire Lily's deductive skills, how she thought about the wooden leg and then realized that he did not yet have it at this point. I love her curiosity about the woman who married him, and about their maladaptive interactions. I love the balance between her not knowing enough, and Moody not knowing enough, and both of them seeming frustrated in different ways about it all.
Fascinating. I must return soon :)
♥ AmandaAuthor's Response: Thank you for this review! :O It was a great treat to receive it - I'm so glad that you're continuing with this story, and that you are enjoying it too. I'm a sorry sentimentalist when it comes to this story - it definitely is "my baby" - so any praise for it has me dancing for joy. :D
It was interesting when I realized that Lily was caught between two worlds that weren't really that different - she understands the life of an Auror because she's seen her father live it. The whole thing makes for a strange circle in which Moody influences Harry, Harry influences Lily, and Lily influences Moody - so, as the chicken and egg question would have it, what is the starting point? If Moody says something to Lily, and she repeats it to him at an earlier stage, is he repeating her, or she him? Time paradoxes are so much fun, and so absolutely confusing. :P
No review of yours could be useless! You've pointed out the details I was hoping would stand out to readers - like Lily's observation skills (part of her Dad's training, I expect) in contrast with her emotional observations on Moody's wife. Both have to do with interpretation, but Lily reveals her heart in her speculations about Mrs. Moody.
Thank you again for the lovely review! I look forward to your thoughts on the remainder of the story. ^_^ Report Review
I'm first and foremost a terrible reviewer, which is why I've never bothered to actually make an account despite the fact I'm on this site all the time, but when I found this a while ago and read it from start to finish, I felt compelled to leave a review. Just...wow. This story is amazing, complex and you pulled off the execution brilliantly. I never figured out until the last chapter how it was all going to slot together. It was a bit heartbreaking, but in a good way. Thanks for writing this story, it's completely different to anything I've ever read before. 10/10.Author's Response: Wow, this is fantastic. Thank you so much for this - it made my day to receive it, and it's still making me incredibly happy. To hear that something in this story struck you like that and compelled you to review is what every author loves to hear. I certainly don't think you're a terrible reviewer - this on you've done is fabulous!
I don't know how to respond to this review in the way that it deserves. Writing this story was an incredible experience, one I wish I could repeat, and it wonderful to see that the experience of reading it is just as special. Thank you for taking the time to read this story! ^_^ Report Review
Hey! I'm back to catch up some more! (Sidebar - I'm excited for your new Regulus one-shot! Eeeep!)
I see now why Lily being disabled makes so much sense - she's got that in common with Moody. Both of them are broken in ways that others cannot imagine, and from this chapter, in ways that I sense that neither of them understand fully just yet.
This appears to be non-chronological - if I'm understanding correctly, this instance represents a unique travel for Lily, but Moody recognizes that she has come through before and is reminding her of the time into which she has passed in this journey, the time that marks the end of his time. It's so sad to imagine that, and I feel for Lily, trying to realize things a bit faster than she perhaps can, and simultaneously knowing and not knowing what to make of Moody here. You've definitely done a good job of drawing me in and making me feel tumbled along, just like Lily.
I'm interested to see where Lily will go from here, and to watch her relationship with Moody grow. I hope I'll have a chance soon to continue reading!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: It's great to see that you're continuing with this story, Amanda, and even better that you're enjoying it! There is a lot to this story, and it's always interesting for me to follow readers through to see what they pick up and what surprises them. :D
The fact that both of them are "damaged" inside and out brings them together more easily. I don't think Lily could ever really connect with someone who was "whole" because she has too deeply internalized her injury - she would always find herself lacking, never equal. But with Moody, she finally finds someone like her, and it draws her closer to him.
When I first drew out the dates for each portion of this story, I had it moving in two directions at once - forward for Moody and backwards for Lily. It makes for a very difficult situation for Lily because, as she knows him more, he knows her less (this part was inspired by Doctor Who *is a nerd*), so at this point in the story, Moody knows everything, but he can't tell Lily without breaking the rules of time. It's very sad for both of them - for Moody because this is the last time he will see her and for Lily because, from this point onward, she will know how his story ends. It made for a turbulent and emotional story to write.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful to hear that you're interested in continuing on, and I look forward to hearing what you think of the rest. ^_^ Report Review
Hello there, my name is Deana (aka: RoxiMalfoy from the forums) it is so nice to finally "meet" you, lol! :p Susan, isn't it? I tagged you in the "Review the Person Above you" game about a week or so ago, but then RL got crazy and I never had time to come back here and review until just now. I am SO very sorry that it took me so to get here hun, hopefully you didn't think that I had forgotten about ya tho... Anyhow, I will try to make this review well worth the wait, haha!! ^_^'
Starting with: OMGosh, how have I NOT read or even heard about this story before now?!? I mean, I know I was gone from HPFF for the majority of last year, but dang! This is already an amazing story, right from the start, It's no wonder you've won so many awards and gotten so much recognition for it!! I must be honest, I have been a secret admirer of your artwork over at TDA since I first started making graphics of my own back in Dec. of 2010, but I have never once even been to your author page before now. I've heard about your writing, of course, but I've just never had the time to come by here and check it out. And I've been on here for going on 3 years now, so I guess that it's about time, lol!! XD
Getting into the more technical aspects of this review now, I have to say that the way you described everything was simply astounding! It actually felt like I was right there in the room with Lucy, seeing everything that she seen. I especially loved the description in the sunset part, that scene was probably my most favorite. I also really liked how you described the pain she was feeling from her injury. My leg even started tingling a bit while I was reading it, that's how good it was! It made me feel so bad for her, poor Lucy. I wanna know more about it tho, like how she hurt it, and when she hurt it, and if it'll ever be fully healed again... As far as everything else goes, there was not one grammatical or spelling error at all, at least not that I could find anyway. Which honestly comes as no surprise, considering how awesome you are, lol! :p
Everything about this beginning chapter boasts of originality. It's not too often you come across a Next-Gen where the story takes off in Neville's household, or even mentions him and Hannah at all. And I like the fact that is is Lucy-centered, rather than James or Al. Half the time it seems like people forget that Harry & Ginny had a daughter as well cuz Lucy is always thrown into the background. So kudos to you for choosing her as your MC and giving her some much needed love!
And clearly this story is a time-travel tale, but I really like the idea that you are not taking the predictable approach and using a Time-Turner. It is very original and it completely surprised me. I never considered vanishing cabinets to even have that power before now. But now that I think about it, it's totally plausible and it makes me all the more excited to read more and see how this all pans out for her! Am I right tho in assuming that the Vanishing Cabinet there at the end is in fact what is going to take her back in time then? I guess I will just have to read on and find out for myself, haha!! ;)
Oh, and speaking of the Vanishing Cabinet, that just reminded me of another thing. I love, love, LOVED the Narnia reference in here, lol!
"It reminded me of those books Aunt Hermione had leant me once, the kind of wardrobe that one could walk through to another world. It was a silly idea, really, probably based on a faulty vanishing cabinet that whisked one off to Merlin-knew-where."
That quote there was pure genius!!! From a magical world standpoint, I could easily see that as being in cannon. In fact, it reminded me a lot of Ron calling "Cinderella" an illness in the books. I don't know why, but there you go, lol!! VERY well done. :)
It's not just that one quote that stood out to me tho, there was way more. Your attention to ALL of the seemingly small details was amazing! Like, for instance, the way that she caught herself nodding at the phone, the way that you described the labels as being too old to really read, and the description of the jewelry box was super great as well. I was very intrigued by the ring. I feel like the first words may have been "you must" and then something about the "future" perhaps... Gah! Idk what it all means. Must. Keep. Reading. Haha!!! I have already added you and this story to my favorites, so expect to be hearing from me again later. I cannot wait to see how this all unfolds. Great, great work Susan, really!! You are truly a fabulous writer!! =D
~Deana~Author's Response: Wow! I haven't known how to respond to this review, and I'm sorry for taking so long with it, Deana. You've given a huge review for the first chapter alone! I've never gotten so much back from a review tag before, and I'm still stunned to see it - it's often easier to expect little, but when you get something big instead, it's just amazing, worth far more than the wait. Thank you so much!
This story has been flying beneath the radar - it's like a critically acclaimed movie that no one has seen. :P I'm glad that you've liked it, though, more than liked it, even. That scene when Lily watches the sunset is one of my favourites too - I just love the vision of it, how there's all that beauty in the world and she can't get herself to enjoy it. She tries, but her disappointment keeps getting in the way. That scene really helped me better understand her, or to at least know what kind of character I was dealing with. I put her together so fast initially that her development over the period of the story occurs as I slowly figured her out. It was a "oh need female character", "why not Lily?", "okay, let's go" kind of situation. XD
It ended up being more fun to use a vanishing cabinet. They're so... handy, at least within the context of this story. Unlike a timeturner, it's more set in place and would more likely be owned by a single family than passed among multiple people. It made the plot work out a lot more logically. It's also a very haunting piece of furniture - big cabinets/wardrobes like that have this menacing quality to them, probably because of their height, so it looms over Lily like this monstrous villain, forcing her through time whether she wants to go or not.
Thank you very much for the compliments! I don't know what else to say in response to them. It's wonderful that you've enjoyed the first chapter, and I really hope that you enjoy the rest of the story too. ^_^ Report Review
Um well. I have to say I've never read anything quite like this, and that I'm fairly sure I enjoyed it. In fact, I might just read the entire thing over again right this minute. I like that it's so... pretty, and I know that's not the word for it but it's the only thing I can think of. It just reminds me of a mass of colour that twists and turns and never really ends. Something you could probably look at forever, and never fully understand. And well, I think that's very pretty. Or perhaps some other word that makes more sense but is lost somewhere in a continuous circle of time and forever out of my reach.
But I won't get philosophical.
Impressive, really, how you have a, er, "happy ending" sort of thing without minimising all the loss. I really do like that, and I think it's an important thing for an author to remember in a story like this (though no story is quite like this, of course), that the characters should really earn their peace. Not so much by their own actions or thoughts, but by... well, the way it's all written. I suppose I'm saying the ending was well worth the story, and the same in reverse. Though I'm not really sure that makes any more sense.
In any case, I feel very much... at peace with this story. And I do like that. And I think you're a perfectly lovely writer or perhaps in a less poncey way that's drifting off in space. But it is there somewhere, I promise.
Well enough of this, I'm sure you've loads of things to do, just wanted to let you know I appreciate it all.
xxAuthor's Response: This review has floored me for a considerable amount of time, and I'm sorry for my failure to respond to this sooner. To see that someone had "got" the story like you have is a wonderful thing, and I'm very thankful that you read and reviewed. It's a story that has meant a lot to me, and your review has helped cement that.
"Pretty" works well enough - I think I understand what you mean. I love how you described it as a neverending mass of colour and that elusive thing, like a strange painting, that attracts one's eye, but remains just beyond one's grasp. Wow! It's incredible to hear that this story has had that effect upon a reader. I've never been able to see this story from the outside, but it is unending - at some point, the plot turned back on itself again and again until Lily's life became not the linear time of most, but an endless cycle. It's the thing I've wanted to see in other time travel stories, but it never quite happens. For some reason, here, it did, and I still don't know how.
You're right about the ending. There can't be a happy ending, not in a perfect fluffy way - the trauma that both characters have undergone is too powerful, and to evade it would undermine any realism I may have achieved in this story. They both will die; they both will be unhappy; but that's what people do; it's the natural process, and there's no way to escape it, not even if you have power over time. I'm really pleased to hear that the ending was worthy of the rest - I have a fear of ending stories because most endings are let-downs in their own way, and I didn't want that for this story. I wanted something that provided closure, but was equally open-ended.
Thank you so much for this. I hoped to write something different, something to evoke emotion and thought, and that, from what I see, is exactly what it did. ^_^ Report Review
Hey Susan! I've been meaning to come by and check this out for a while, so you know I'm taking my chance now that summer has arrived at last ♥
This is so interesting already! I'm hooked by so many things, not only the ending but the little details about Lily and her family that I'm just starting to find out about. I'm intrigued by Lily's injury, and I'm looking forward to learning more about how she received it and just how much it complicates her life. I'm also really pleased to read a story about the Potter children with no mention of the Weasleys, aside from Aunt Hermione. Too often I read next-gen pieces that give me the impression that the Potters and Weasleys cannot be separated in the minds of many authors, so this is so refreshing. It's also nice to see the focus switched onto Neville and Hannah, even just as far as using them to set the background of the story.
As always, your imagery is beautiful, and the chapter flowed without much effort for me. I'm really intrigued by the ring and its inscription, and I have my ideas about what it means, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see what befalls Lily next. I felt like this chapter was perfect in terms of length, too, seeing as it held my interest and left me wanting more without flooding me with details. It can be hard to get that initial chapter right, and Susan, you've done it! Pat yourself on the back!
Nicely done :)
Recenseo 2012Author's Response: This is a great surprise! Thank you very much for coming to check out this story - I really hope that you enjoy reading it and look forward to hearing what you think. ^_^
At first, not including the Weasleys was a matter of convenience because I didn't want a large cast of characters getting in the way. I did think about using Rose at some point, but then I replaced her because it's nice, for once, to not include all of those cousins. Even Lily's brothers don't appear in this story, emphasizing her isolation from the world. She sees only the older generation, those with access to that mysterious past. I'd never thought of my cast choices in this way before, but now I'm intrigued by what it signifies for Lily. She's divided from her siblings and cousins - her physical disability marks her as different, and so she even changes her hair colour to further that difference. And I wonder whether being one of the youngest cousins also made her want to differentiate herself more so that she would have more of an individual identity. I've got to think this idea through a bit more, but it's an interesting thing to note and I'm glad that you brought it up. :)
There was a time when I thought that this first chapter would need some neatening up because it was my own introduction to the story and the character, so there was some... rooting around (is that the right way of describing it?) for the right style, etc. But a later chapter changed my mind. ;) It's great that you like this first chapter and it helps make me feel more confident about it, too!
Thank you very much for your compliments! *blushes* It means a lot to hear that you like my writing. ^_^ Report Review
Im glad they found each other. 10/10 : )Author's Response: That's great to hear! This ending was strange because I wanted to end it in so many different ways (so I included three of them), but then I couldn't decide on the order of the scenes. I'm glad that I settled on the happy ending as the last scene because it does emphasize that, in the end, they are together. It may have been a temporary thing, but that's life - they at least had /something/.
Thank you very much for all of your reviews! I'm happy to have followed you through the story. :D Report Review
I like the way you have writtn this. 10/10 : )Author's Response: Thank you! It's wonderful of you to say that! ^_^ Report Review
She is his wife. 10/10 : )Author's Response: But is it a good or bad thing? :P *evil author*
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh lily. This is so sad 10/10 :)Author's Response: This chapter is a particularly painful one - both to have written and for Lily to have experienced. :'( Report Review
Alastor as a child is so different 10/10 : )Author's Response: Very different, I agree! It was a challenge to write him young because it's so distanced from canon knowledge - I had to make it up as I went, guessing the whole way. I'm glad you still liked it, though! :D Report Review
This story is just brilliant 10/10 : )Author's Response: Wow, that's fantastic to hear! Thank you very much! ^_^ Report Review
I dont think i would be able to leave moody 10/10 : )Author's Response: I don't think that Lily wants to either, but Moody himself will leave, so what would Lily to then? Now that I've got this idea in mind, she could have gone with him to Europe and fought in the war... somehow, even with her leg. That would have been a strange twist. ;) Report Review
This story is much sadder than i first thought. You write so well. Its amazing 10/10 : )Author's Response: Oh believe me, it will get sadder. ;) Another of my goals for this story was to write the most romantic tear-jerker I could - I don't know why I wanted to do both things at once, but it certainly plays with readers' emotions.
Thank you very much for all your reviews! I'm glad to hear that you've been enjoying the story! :D Report Review
That was actually really sad. Poor moody 9/10 : )Author's Response: What's strange about this moment is that it's painfully sad at the same time that it's frightening - he is "mad" at this point, completely out of control, and while it's because he's suffering, I've wondered what would have happened to Lily had she stayed. That's a scary thought. Report Review
Jane eyre is one of my favourite books. 9/10 : )Author's Response: It's one of my favourites, too - I've always wanted to see how it could be reworked into the Potterverse, and this was the result. ;) Report Review
This story sort of reminds me of the movie the time travellers wife. 9/10 : )Author's Response: There are a couple of similarities, but I more had Doctor Who (River/Eleven) in mind. ;) Report Review
This was a fantastic start. I saw this was a featured story in the hufflepuff common room on the forums. 9/10 : )Author's Response: It's great that you've taken the time to come try out this story! I hope that you enjoy the rest! :D Report Review
Oh my gosh. I... gosh, I honestly don't know what to say... I just read this all in one go - I couldn't stop, no matter what - and... wow. Just wow.
Right, let's try writing something coherent ;)
It was amazing. Absolutely amazing. The whole plot was so intricately woven together, so perfectly done - I never suspected, not really, that Lily herself was the woman in the portrait, that she was his wife. It occured to me at one point that Lily had had red hair at one point, and if the dye grew out... but I never thought it would actually happen. I didn't think about what was going to happen, really. I was so hooked, I just kept reading. Ah, gosh, all the little things in there that I now understand having finished it - the whole thing with the notes and the cupboard and the rings and the fire - just made it so brilliant. The idea itself is incredible, but the fact that you actually managed to write it without confusing yourself or the readers? Mind-blowing. (Also, I've read Jane Eyre and I barely noticed the similarities in some places until you pointed them out at the end of the chapter :P)
Your characters were wonderful as well. Lily was just so brilliant - so young and naive at the beginning, so foolish and curious and kinda happy-go-lucky in a pessimistic, moody way, if that makes sense. Then, at the end I can absolutely see her turning into the spiteful woman in the portrait, driven mad by the knowledge of what happens in the future. Moody was just perfect. Nuff said. I've never seen a better Moody written, and he's so difficult to write, so all credit to you for that.
I just loved this. I loved it so much. It was absolutely incredible... gosh, it's just perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Thank you! This review has had me squeeing for some time now - it's a fantastic thing to have received, not only because it was a surprise, but because it's just plain brilliant. It means a lot that you enjoyed the story so much - to hear it called "perfect" is amazing beyond words. ^_^
The plot twist with Lily and the portrait was a sneaky thing - there were many times when I thought it was too obvious, but others when it wasn't obvious enough. There are so many gingers in the Potterverse anyway that it could have been someone else - maybe even an ancestor of Lily via the Weasleys (that would have been cool, actually - I wish I'd thought of that sooner :P). But what was interesting about making them the same person was that it emphasized Lily's fear that it was all a dream. If it was all happening in Lily's head, then she would be battling herself (the portrait) for the desired object (Moody) and Freud would have a lot of fun. :P
It's wonderful to hear that you liked the characters, too. Sometimes Lily was difficult to work with because she was so bitter and dark, all her ability to hope and be happy buried deep within - but she could feel, and do so profusely, which tears her apart from the inside out. She became far more complicated than I ever expected.
And Moody. ^_^ Oh gosh, I think I fell in love with him myself while writing, so it's a great treat to hear that his characterization in this story was spot-on.
Thank you again for this fabulous review! :D Report Review
Congratulations, once again you have reduced me to tears. This is beautiful.Author's Response: Wow, thank you! This is the kind of emotional response I was hoping for with this story, and it's wonderful to hear that it worked, and that you enjoyed the story. :D Report Review
SUCH A HUGE CONGRATS FOR FINISHING THIS. I want to shake you and just show you do you know how perfect this ending is? This whole story? I got all teary-eyed the whole way through.
Twenty-seven years together, wow. Twenty-seven before she had to close the loop. There are seriously no words for that whole scene. You have the perfect words. Her dying words ;A; I felt like I understood so much more, from Moody to this future dying Lily to even the missing time in those 27 years and how it might have come to this point.
I'm so happy you ended with the happy scene in which they reunite :3 even if it is bittersweet. Lily seeing Moody's scar for what he thinks is the first time, and his arm around her. Time finally slows down and Lily's finally, truly alive. Endings are so hard, but I love this dual set-up you've given us.
I've blabbered enough, I still don't know how to express just how much I loved this all ♥ This is one of those fics that I'll always remember.Author's Response: Thank you, Gina! *glomps* It's done! I'm still in shock.
PERFECT?! Yay! The last scene was the ending I wanted to write at the beginning, but as usual, I second guessed myself all the way through, which is where the other two parts came from - there were too many unanswered questions if I left them out, even if it meant breaking the continuity of the narration. Bringing everything full-circle became more important, and I'm really, really glad that it worked.
That death scene is strange because Lily knows that, in a couple of days, if not sooner, her younger self will appear. At once she has the comfort of knowing that Moody won't entirely lose her while also remembering that will also drive him into madness - a necessary madness, one could say, but it must still be painful. Again, the timeline is so twisted that everything is marked by duality - endings are beginnings and vice versa. In my head, if this even matters at all, I saw these two scenes happening simultaneously, the older Lily's hand falling at the same moment as the younger Lily and younger Moody kiss - the scenes would blur together, the cycle never ending.
Thank you so much for helping me through this story. It's been awesome to read your responses to each chapter - they've been really inspiring. ^_^ Report Review
wow dang you sure know how to spin a story
i am still slightly confused but only a litter
cant wait for hte updateAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! The story has definitely spun out of control on me, but the end will hopefully explain things and put everything to rights. :D I'm glad that you're enjoying this story! Report Review
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