sounds good you should do a sequel to the stoy because it was so fun to read. looking forward to more of your talent. :)Author's Response: When I do write one, it'll be from Snape's point of view. Thanks very much for the review. =) Report Review
Nicely written!Author's Response: Thanks very much. =) Report Review
Do you do a lot fo angst because you seemed to capture doom, death, and gore perfectly! I was depressed by the end of the first paragraph! lol But you wrote it amazingly well--I could see it all in its angst glory in my mind's eye!
I've never been a shipper myself (for any ship--is that what its called?) and I most definitely have never thought about Hermione and Snape, but you did a beautiful job making their desire both deeper than lust and yet purely carnal. Quite artistic! Bravo! Shippers from this group will think they've died of happiness when they find this treasure!
BTW--this is the first 10 I've given!Author's Response: Yes, I love angst, especially the death-and-destruction type. =P Before this story, I'd never gone so gory with my descriptions, but I'd definitely write more of them because not only did I like writing the beginning of this, but lots of readers enjoyed reading it too, as they tell me. =D This ship is a new one for me - I remember seeing stories about it a while ago, but it wasn't until recently that I actually thought about writing it. I'm glad you felt it worked out (I'm not a very romantic writer). I didn't want it to be mushy or fluffy, nor too lustful either - the balance between the two is hard to reach, but thankfully I got it in this story(hopefully). They're an interesting pair, Snape and Hermione, but only in certain situations. Thanks so much for the wonderful review. It was great to read and it's such a compliment that you gave me a ten. Thank you! =) Report Review
Wow, that was very, very well done. I'm not sure I would normally go with this sort of ship, but I just plodding along and I figured I could give this a try. It was actually quite enjoyable. It seems to make a lot more sense when Hermione is older... I don't know, just the situation she is in makes it all more believeable. I honestly cannot say much against this peice, other than the fact that it was rather hard to tell that her rescuer was on the "bad side" in the beginning... Your summary states it is Hermione/Severus, and so for a moment I was confused when she couldn't identify him. It took me a moment to connect the fact that perhaps he truly was on Voldemort's side, and thusly wearing a mask to leave his identity incognito. Therefore, the only thing I would want changed about this would to have a statement or two making clear that a D.E. had killed another D.E., then whisked her away from the fight (which then raises the issue - why would she let the enemy lead her away, other than her abject exhaustion?). I shall be looking out for more from you! - Firefly PhoenixAuthor's Response: I agree with you: the ship makes a lot more sense in the post-war period when Hermione's older. When she's a student, both she and Snape are very different and don't really belong together. The thing about the rescue scene is that I wanted Hermione to be unsure who was saving her. It's dark, she's exhausted, and I wanted it so that she wouldn't know if it were a DE or not who saved her. She doesn't recognise Snape (it was an interesting plot device) and I didn't want to say if Snape was evil or not - perhaps once the seventh book comes out, I'll change it up a bit depending on the details from that. At the moment, however, Snape's her rescuer and she wouldn't have let anyone take her away if she didn't feel as though she could trust him - a DE she could never trust. Does that explain my rationale a bit better? Thanks very much for the review. I really appreciated reading your comments. It's always interesting to think about what I've written and try to remember why I did things a certain way. =) Report Review
wow i love this. for some reason i love the whole snape/hermione thing. but ya good job, good storyAuthor's Response: Awesome! Thanks so much for your review, I really appreciate it. =) Report Review
This is a wonderful story. I normally don't go for the Hr/SS, but this story was really well done. Great job.Author's Response: Thanks, delta. Most of the reviewers so far aren't Hr/SS shippers, yet they still liked the story, so you're not alone with that. I'm really happy to hear that you liked this story. ^_^ Report Review
You could make me like this ship! And him! Oh, my gosh. Violet! I can not believe I enjoyed this ship this much, I'd hide it from everyone if I could but alas, I promised to review honestly. :( You havee just created a guilty pleasure for me...a character I hate and one I'm not particularly fond of and you have crafted a tale that just begs to have more stories written. From the very beginning you made this a stunning portrait of life and death and struggles and wills to survive (even when you don't think you want to). I did know who this was about, I have to admit that, but for a new reader to this story you were able to string that along very well with only the tiniest hints of who it might be. Well done. Wonderful story and I'd love to read more if you do go ahead and write about this ship again.Author's Response: And I was honestly worried you'd hate it because of Snape. *hides* This story had to go by you since you are the best reviewer out there - I just had to be see if the story really worked. I guess it does. =P Thanks so much, timeturner, it really means a lot that you liked what I did here. It was really different for me, especially since I'd never really written Hermione before, nor had I ever done a post-war fic. And I will write more of this ship, especially if I've got your promise to review it! =D Report Review
Your descriptions are incredible!! I felt like I was ON the battlefield. I enjoyed this story immensely, although all of the death therein has now depressed me so much, I must be off to the kitchen to have a cookie. Wonderful job!!Author's Response: Thanks very much, PropMaster. The battlefield scene is really descriptive because I felt that it was the only way to best understand the change in Hermione - the death and destruction would affect anyone. I'm glad you liked the story. =) Report Review
In all honesty, I never expected to like this fic. I thought the idea of Hermione and Snape was absurd. BUT, how wrong you proved me! Even though I still find the pairing strange, you showed me a new light in that ship. Maybe it was your writing technique, which I admire by the way, or it could be the subtle use of detail to describe the feelings. The way everything in this fic seemed to slide together fluidly was brilliant. You have a great talent to write Angst - but the romance at the end was nothing short of amazing. Great job on this! I can't wait to see what else you do with this ship! ~Jessi
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks very much, Jessi! It's great to hear that in this context, the ship works out for you - you're not the first to say that about this story. The emotions of the two characters were really important to this story, especially in Hermione's case since she felt so alone in the world after the battle. I am going to write more SS/Hr in the future, using the same base idea of post-war Potterverse. I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading this story. =) Report Review
The story starts out very darkly and there is little that lightens it up even with the love story that you are beginning. It's hard to write a long story and come back from that, I hope you succeed. Otherwise your writing is descriptive-not overly so- and wel done. NatashaAuthor's Response: Thanks very much, Natasha. It is hard to write a one-shot after working on so many novel-lengths. That\'s probably why the ending got a little rushed - the words were adding up too quickly. Report Review
the writing style is as interesting as the plot movement. It keeps the mind busy and the imagination trying hard to keep up.
Please Read My Story.
I hope you won't be disappointed; I would not expect that. Just search for my name (under author).Author's Response: Thanks very much, Alexander. If I have the time, I'll take a look at your story, but I've got a lot of others to read too. ;-) Report Review
I thought that person was going to be draco, not snape. I thought it was a good story, it had many twists, which i liked. Please write again, i want to keep reading
Author's Response: That would have been interesting, making it Draco instead of Snape... but I killed off Draco too soon for that, I guess. =P Thanks very much for the review. I'm glad you liked the story and yes, there will be more like it in the future. =) Report Review
Well I liked your chaptered so much I decided to check out a one-shot of yours, and you do not disappoint :).As always, here come the mistakes and britifying ;). perhaps he has not expected his assailant to kill him had not. Time to time she would try to see his face I think this should be from time to time. Something in her mind nagged at her having left the battle for having left. but she knew they would come the following nights not sure about this, I think it should be in the following nights because I automatically would want say come the following night, not nights. Without realizing it, she moved closer to him realising. A few moments later, she was out on the sidewalk pavement if we're being brit. refusing to meet each others eyes others'. she stepped off the elevator into the Atrium lift. Hermione regretted having not spent more time I think the word order should go not having spent. Few people there were ones she knew and of those she only knew them by sight this doesn't make sense. maybe "and of those she did, she only knew them by sight". but then she realized that he had stopped realised. an expression that Hermione could not recognize recognise. Then she realized that she was in love with him realised. Never in her wildest dreams would Hermione had pictured herself have.Want you to know that this is a brilliant story and incredibly well written. I am a fan of the ship, though primarily because it contains Snape ;) , but I have only read 2 or 3. Yours is easily up there with the best I've read.The first half of this fic is incredibly powerful and really real. I liked how you portrayed sometihng of the true nature of war, especially in Hermione's reaction to it. She doesn't want to kill but no use fighting back with anything but death and the resigned way she goes about it, detached from everything, was very easy to imagine. The expectation she has of herself is also very Hermione She must join them, she told herself, she mustn’t be afraid to die, she was a Gryffindor. Then when she did kill Rabasten I really liked this line She did not regret having killed him, yet she was surprised he had fallen so easily because no one really realises how fragile life is, how easily it can be taken away. And yet, on the other side of the coin, it may be physically easy to take a life, but it isn't without its repercussions.I liked how you held that limbo-like state of mind Hermione had been in in the battle through the next part of the story too She lived in the past just as much as they did, your writing really reflected how she was feeling. I liked how you detailed how none of them could move beyond the past, how they were stuck there and the consequences it had. I especially liked Ron's reaction to Hermione leaving Probably he couldn’t forgive her for leaving the battlefield because I could well imagine Ron reacting this way. And i loved the blunt truth of this line Wasn’t it strange how things could change?.I loved your characterisation of Snape. The things he said like You need not bother yourself. It’s obvious that you’re not in good form were really Snape. My favourite part was the bit where Hermione is thinking of herself as a traitor in this part of the story. A bit of a long quote but I'm sur eyou know where I mean. That third sentence was really hard-hitting and you wrote it brilliantly. And then when Snape said The Hermione Granger that once was died there. You are nothing compared to her I just shivered, it was so easy to feel how much that truth must have hit her. I do have a little criticism about this part of the story though :p. I thought that after all the things Snape said, as they were true, it was a little hasty when he turned around and came back. She needed that truth knocking into her, but perhaps the reconciliation was a bit rushed. Maybe she could have felt broken because of it (completely loved But she cried now for the love she had kept hidden for so long and had lost in an instant), but his words would have jolted a spark of her old self and she could have tackled the rest of her life and showed him that the old Hermione was not completely dead and gone, had a bit of a face off with him or something, become all the stronger. the whole, that which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger, you know. I just kind of felt she was a bit passive. Obviously that would have made it even longer and it is just my random musings, but wanted to share. The fic is still amazing, and I still love it all. You did a great job in writing this and I'm putting you on my favourites :).Author's Response: Wow, Charz, this review has to be the longest and most thourough I've ever received. All the mistakes have been fixed (and Missy told me there were only three, lol =P). You are absolutely correct about the ending - it is rushed - but hitting nearly 5000 words did make me rather nervous; I didn't want to make it much longer than that (though I did have the idea for a drawn out ending including a trip to Spinner's End and a newspaper advertisement finally bringing them together). You know, I could have almost made the first half a stand alone story, with Hermione valiantly fighting off Death Eaters till the end... but then I wouldn't have had as much fun for the end. ;-) Thank you so much for reviewing this story. It really means a lot when you say that you liked it and my characterisation of Snape. This was my first story for this ship (but definitely not the last), so it was rather awkward to write the romance between them. All the lines you picked out are the best from the story - that part about Ron nearly made me cry when I wrote it and the way that Snape told Hermione that she was nothing like she used to be was a very powerful moment of the story. I guess I made Hermione passive at the end because she has changed so much after the war. There's still some of her cool logic left, but she's gotten stuck in a reality in which she doesn't belong. Thanks again for the review. I feel a lot better about writing another story like this one now. =) Report Review
Very well written. I'm not big on this ship myself, but you wrote it beautifully. No grammar or spelling mistakes, and good spacing! Hermione's feelings were so realistic of what may happen in the books. It's good to find an author who takes the time to make sure their story is as good as it can be.Author's Response: Gosh, thanks very much for such a great review. I'm really glad that you could enjoy the story even if you're not one for the ship. I tried hard to get Hermione acting to character, so it's a relief to hear that it turned out. Thanks again! =) Report Review
That was lovely! I don't usually go for one-shots because I don't find them very satisfying, but this one was wonderful!Author's Response: Thanks very much. It's great that you enjoyed it even though you don't usually like one-shots (though this one is rather long, so it might not seem like a one-shot). ;-) Report Review
Right from the beginning, I knew that this was one story that I would not forget. Your writing here is basically flawless. There were maybe...two grammatical mistakes I caught (one was tense and another was an incorrect word, at least I thought so.) But overall, very solid grammatically. Your descriptions were captivating and really drew me in as a reader to the destruction and hopelessness of the battle. I already knew who her rescuer is but the way you described him and how she could not figure out who he was was very interesting. You had subtle clues to his identity (but perhaps I just caught onto them because I knew who it was?) such as the grey in his hair that was perhaps a trick of light, the billowing cloak was a big clue for me because I can't picture Snape without a billowing cloak. Just...the whole battle scene was spectacular and well-written. The aftermath of the war was heartbreaking; the deaths and how those who used to be friends could not speak to one another for fear of bringing up old memories. Oh, and the fact that Ron would not even acknowledge Hermione's existence anymore! That was terribly sad.Favorite lines...there were a few that definitely stood out for me. Among them: There would be time to grieve for the dead once the battle had ended. That grabbed my attention immediately, even before I read the aftermath of the battle and how they were still grieving the dead years later. I liked the living off borrowed time because it was a perfect description of how it feels to be caught in the moment of the battle--not knowing if your next step will be your last. I also liked: Exhaustion and trauma had damaged her memory more than she would care to admit. Er, just because I liked it. ^_^The ending was nice, fluffy! I thought it was a bit weird that Snape first left and then suddenly, he was back and kissing her. Er, but maybe it was just me. While I did like the ending, the beginning is definitely my favorite. Just because of the gorgeous descriptions of the war. Hooray, Susan! :)Author's Response: Now that I've had the time to scrape my jaw off the floor, hopefully I can respond to this. =D The battle scene definitely is the crowning glory of this story - it came out much darker than I expected, but I suppose war is dark like that and filled with hopelessness. The part about the grammar makes me cheer - only two mistakes in nearly 6000 words must be a record for me. ;-) I do agree that the ending is a tad fluffy - I guess I was doing the horrible thing of rushing towards the end. Wow, I was blown away by this review, Missy. (and there you said that some people have been offended by your reviews) It was wonderful to hear that you liked the story and the descriptions. A lot of effort was put into this, so I'm really glad it paid off. ^_^ Report Review
This was really good. I like it a lot. I just wish that Snape was really like this!! He would then be the awesomest teacher EVER. Well great job and hope to see another one soon!Author's Response: If only Snape could be like this all the time - Hogwarts definitely would have been a happier place. ;-) Thanks very much for your review. I'm glad you liked the story. =) Report Review
Nicely done, I like how you weave the story with canon, and how much the battle destroyed everyone's life. I also like the pairing, even if it is a little odd. ; )Author's Response: Thank you very much, Entropy. It's great to hear that you enjoyed the story, also that you thought it fit well with canon. =) Report Review
An excellent piece of fanfic!
You send Hermione to a very dark place and I'm not sure that the end of the story holds out any hope for her. However, I have to say that this was among the most original stories that I have ever read. The Final Battle, Harry's death, Ron and Hermione's estrangement; all of these events serve to remind us that even if Good prevails, it does not necessarily do so with impugnity. Thanks for a truly excellent read!Author's Response: Goodness, one the most original?! Thank you so much. ^_^ I'm glad you liked my take on the aftermath of the war - I didn't want it to be happy for anyone, really, because of the tramatic nature of the event. Once again, thanks. =) Report Review
I really did not know what this story was going to be like. I have not read any of your other stories yet, but I now I feel foolish for letting them slip by. Probably the one reason why I decided to read this was seeing the title in Lucid's reviewing thread. The title really lure me in.Now to start off with the review. The beginning of the story was really descriptive and powerful. It was illustrated in a way that made it very interesting, yet it wasn't gory. At first I thought it was going to be a Hermione/Neville romance. But then I realized it wasn't when Mr. Mysterious came into the picture. I did assume it was Snape, but I didn't think much of it yet. I mean come on student/teacher so against the rules! Haha just trying to bring some humor into the review. I don't think I'm doing so well though.The ending. Wow. I did not expect Snape to do that. It was a really shocking ending. But a good one at least. That was a cute ending though. It would've been weird if it was fluffier. Eek. Well good job Susan! This is an interesting ship indeed, but it has not been the first one that I've read. I look forward to reading more of your work.- Lisa (magicalperfect)Author's Response: It was more than weird when it was fluffier, it was downright disturbing. =P Thanks so much for reviewing, Lisa. It makes me happier that I chose the title I did if it was successful in grabbing your attention. Now you've given me an idea to write Hermione/Neville, that would certainly be an interesting story to do. =D I hope the ending wasn't too OOC, it kept seeming that way to me, although people have said they liked it. But I'm really glad that you liked it. Thanks! =) Report Review
You wrote this very well- the bloody, cruel battle scene, Hermione trying to protect Neville, and the 'one foot in front of the other' portion. I thought Hermione's attempt to help Neville was very well characterized. But why did she simply give up at the end? I think of Hermione of a never ending fighter, not someone that would give up at the slip of mud. For the storytelling element, though, it fits into it.The remincising you put Hermione through was decided well. I like the title of this story, too. Wonderful one shot!Author's Response: Thanks very much, Sophia. The part about Hermione slipping in the mud was just a plot device, I admit. Somehow the rescue part had to come in. =D I'm really glad to hear that you liked this. It was just a little idea I had that ended up working out nicely. =) Report Review
It’s about one in the morning and I was about to go to sleep, but, after seeing that the one review you received for this story so far wasn’t exactly the nicest, I couldn’t not take a few minutes to review. No one likes checking reviews and seeing one like that.
Firstly, you have an amazing talent for description. There was something utterly beautiful in your words. It’s a very romantic style that isn’t too flowery, which is always wonderful to see :-) The opening of this story was what really pulled me in. You portrayed the battle scene with such a macabre elegance – that may sound like a contradiction though it’s the only words I can find to describe it. I’ve noticed that a lot of people try to take a more ‘outer’ approach to writing pieces like that, but you brought the readers in close and gave it a very ethereal effect.
There was such a sense of desperation on Hermione’s part, and given the situation I think that was perfect characterization. You didn’t go too far on the melodramatic side but you still gave it a ‘dramatic’ edge. You really blurred the lines between what a lot of people define as good and evil. Hermione using an unforgivable curse in normal situations wouldn’t be considered acceptable, but you gave the story a very hopeless, even frantic atmosphere. It was a very fight or be killed scenario and you write that very well.
I loved the little hints you gave us about Severus’ identity, but, at the same time, you contradicted them by showing it through Hermione’s eyes – the graying hair thought to be a trick of the light and whatnot. It’s those intricate details that I really enjoy seeing in stories like this.
Now, the way you portrayed the aftermath of the battle was just as magnificent as the beginning. That sense of grief and reverence for the dead, even three years after the event, was incredibly heartrending. Even after the first few paragraphs it didn’t really hit me until you mentioned Ron passing Hermione in the hallway. It made my stomach clench and my heart heavy. You have no idea how much I love stories that can give that physical reaction – it’s a mark of a very good writer ;-) I am fully prepared to blame this on exhaustion, but I cried when played through that memory of Harry in the Leaky Cauldron.
Severus is one of my favorite characters, and he’s also one that not many people can portray to my liking. I can’t even begin to describe how wonderfully you wrote him here. Most writers capture his wit and sarcasm, but you’ve also managed to convey that side of him that is smooth and ‘romantic’ (forgive the sketchy wording on my part. I can’t think of any other way to describe it at the moment). The interaction between them was amazing and heartbreaking. And the kiss was beautiful, it really was. There was so much desperation there and it seemed as though they were both clinging to that one moment.
This story was really very amazing, and even after writing paragraphs of praise I still feel like I haven’t done it an ounce of justice. Even though I will be as tried as hell in the morning, I’m really glad that I took the time to read and review this. It is a wonderful piece and it’s truly very magnificent.
::Edit:: (yes, there's an 'edit') In the time it took me to write this up you've already recieved a lovely review from Noblevyne and another from someone that could actually enjoy the story despite their dislike for the ship. Though I do feel a bit silly now, I'm still glad I came and reviewed ^_^Author's Response: That review is gone now, don't worry. ;-) This one, on the other hand, is making me grin and blush at the same time, thus rendering me too happy to try responding in a comphrendible way. Thank you so much for taking the time to review the story so closely, crystal. I was so worried that the kiss scene hadn't worked and that I had made Severus too OOC by overdoing the romantic part. It's such a relief that it sounded alright - trying to convey the desperation without it becoming lust was hard, really hard. Perhaps after writing about Snape for the past year, I'm finally getting the hang of his elusive character. =DThe beggining turned out to be nothing like I originally planned. I just kept going and going with the descriptions that turned out to be very macabre, but you're right, it does suit the story. It was interesting writing from such a distant perspective, especially since I usually write stories in first person or third person limited. At the same time that the reader is seeing what Hermione sees, they are kept out of her inner most thoughts until the very end. Perhaps that reflects what she had done to herself, hiding the truth of how she felt. Before I go blabbing on to no end, I'll just thank you again for reviewing and enjoying the story. Your compliments have made my day a lot brighter. ^_^ Report Review
The imagery at the begiining is very strong, you can almost hear and feel everything, the chaos around her and the serenity she feels because she knows there's no other thing for it: she has to keep breathing and fighting.Much love for the development of the relationship between Mr Mysterious (though I think I caught on when he said 'Miss Granger' - that line is imprinted into my head as strictly Snape), there's a need there, a need to let go and hold onto the past at the same time. Plus it's hot :P. Great job, Susan.Author's Response: Oh you should have seen the first version of the ending - it had the two of them walking off into the sunset holding hands (very fluffy, it had to go). The revised ending came out much better, with all its hotness. =P Thanks so much for reviewing, Lauren. It's so great to hear that you enjoyed it. I was worried that this was utter crap, so your review has made me feel a lot better about it. =) Report Review
mmm, much as i dislike this ship, i loved this story. nicely done.Author's Response: Thanks very much. It's awesome to hear that you liked this story even though you don't like the ship. =D Report Review
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