love the story! youre a great writer.. like REALLY good! you should consider becoming an author ;)
please please update, i am dying to know whats coming up next!!Author's Response: Ahaha, now being an author is something I'd really love, but it's a very difficult career to get into, and I'm not sure I'm capable. But thank you so much for saying so, that made my week! :') I s'pose you'll just have to keep an eye out. ;) I will try and update soon, what with life and stuff it's quite difficult... but I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, I'll try and update as soon as I can! Thanks! Report Review
Hej! This story is really great, I just can't help but love James :)) Your an amazing writer, how old are you anyway? You have to update soon or else I'll go crazy ! :D When is the 15th chapter coming?Author's Response: Bahaha, well he is James ;) Everyone *has* to love him! Um, I'm really not, but I'm glad you think so... I'm 16 :P Erm, chapter 15 is sort of half done (its another long one) but it should be sort of soon...ish. XD Soon, I promise! Thanks soo much for the review, I'm really glad you like this story! Report Review
Oh God I'm in tears! This is amazing, your a brilliant writer, extremely talented I have to say! James is so cute and fragile inside.. i can't wait to read the rest of the story and I hope with all my heart that in the next chapter it is revealed that Lily really wasn't in sleep :)) Author's Response: In tears? Really? :O Um, wow! I really don't think its that good... but I am quite glad you think so! I'm really very flattered, thank you! Well, I think everyone is a little fragile inside, to an extent. :') But yeah, poor James. And unfortunately, Lily was definitely asleep, I'm sorry to say. XD Thank you so, so much for this review, and I hope I hear from you again! :) Report Review
I love it! It is so sad with Snape and Lily though, even though I really don't like Snape. What's going on with Doris??? So many questions;)And quick question, doesn't James sleep in the Heads Dorm? Just wondering, that part kind of confused me cause it sounded like he had been sleeping in the boy's dorm for a while. Anywho, really like it, and can't wait until you update!!!Author's Response: Yeah, it is a little bit sad :( But what can you do, eh? No secrets revealed with Doris, hehe. And with the James thing, he does normally, yes, but on occasion after a late night with the boys he sort of chooses to sleep there - I did forget to mention that. Just James not being bothered to wander back to the Head's Dorms. xP But the mention of James that morning is quite important later on so I'm reluctant to change it. But, yeah, basically normally he does sleep in the Head's Dorm, but he does spend a lot of time back with the guys. I think I'll put in a paragraph for that next chapter, thanks for telling me about your confusion! :') And I should update soon, thank you so much for the review! Report Review
great story, im intrigued keep writing :)Author's Response: Aaah, thank you very much! Chapter 15 *should* be finished soon, its been a long delay, haha! Glad you enjoyed it, I hope you review in future! :) Report Review
Oh, great first chapter! I've read so many different Marauder fics, but each one has its individual merits! I really loved how James and Sirius were training for being an auror already! :P It was amusing to see them running for that! I liked how you described James' house, it does sound incredibly peaceful! I loved the friendly and witty banter between all of them, and I did enjoy reading this chapter!
I also loved them finding out James was HB, he's shock was evident and realistic. Although this line, along with others in the letter were quite a bit OOC for Dumbledore, it made me laugh: "Please don’t faint yet, I need you to be able to read through this letter before your head hits the ground." Haha. Awwh, poor James, having even his father shocked! "Charlus Potter’s face went white." I felt a bit sorry for James then, but I'm very much looking forward to reading more sometime!
- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)Author's Response: Ahaha, thanks a bunch for the review, I'm glad you liked it :) But ohgodohgodohgod don't mention that letter to me, it will be the death of me. I wrote that when I was *young* and *stupid* and its *awful* and SO *OOC* and I reallyreally need to change it. :') But yes, thanks for the feedback. But, haha, I am very glad you seemed to read and like it despite that, thanks so much for the long review!! Report Review
I really love this story so far. Update soon! :)Author's Response: Ah, thank you very much! I'm so sorry this is so late, was on a long hiatus. I am working on Chapter 15, like the beginning and the end have been written, just need to work on the bit in the middle. Hope to be updating soon. ^_^Thanks a bunch, hope to see you review again! Report Review
Aah! Update! Please! =)Author's Response: Haha, so finally caught up to the end, eh? Ah, I'm sorry to say that I didn't manage to get the next chapter out before the holidays, but I'm hoping to put it up the moment the queue reopens! (If I get it finished, haha! Another long one (about 6000 words so far) so I hope you'll still like it. Thanks again for all the reviews, you've made my week! Hope to see you on chapter fifteen! Report Review
Hm so is Doris stopping the party or not? Interesting, on to the next!!!Author's Response: Not sure if I've mentioned how much I really appreciate these reviews, huh? ^^ They've actually pushed my review count for this story over 100, which is a big thing for me :D So thank you so much!! Ah, yes, Doris. We shall have to wait and see with her. ;) Haha, hope you enjoy the next one! (It's long!) Report Review
Hahahah this is great.
I feel bad for Abbie though. Poor thing.Author's Response: Ah, yeah, poor Abbie :( Sometimes that's just the way the world works unfortunately. *Snivel* All the same, it's awesome that you're liking the story. Thanks! :D Report Review
Oh my. What does Andy want from Abbie? Tension! Haha I'm really liking this! ^.^Author's Response: I do believe all will become clear next chapter. muahaha! Ahh it's so cool that you're liking it, thanks so much for all the reviews so far - you've really made my week! Thank you!! :D Report Review
Personally Rachel and Remus seem like a much better couPle than Abbie and Remus. Abbie should be with Will!Author's Response: LOL, issues is putting it mildly! XD So you're on team Rachel then? Hehe, my reviewers seem rather split down the middle with who to go with. Hope you'll all like how it turns out in the end! Abbie and Will? Well, that's an intersting thought now, isn't it? Haha ;) Anyways. Thanks for another fab review, you're the best! :D Report Review
Remus is a gentleman. He always was my favorite Maurauder. Though you make James sound pretty darn appealing! Haha I liked this chapter!Author's Response: Remus is pretty cool, eh? Psst, James is my favourite Marauder though ;D Don't tell the other guys that though, haha! Very glad you liked it, hope you like the rest! Report Review
Eep! Things sound a'worryin! Reading on!Author's Response: Ahahah! xD I'm guessing you liked it? Hope you did! Thank you SO MUCH for another review!! Report Review
That was so adorable at the end with James. Aw.Author's Response: ;) Eheheheh. Thanks for the review again!!! :D Report Review
Okay maybe it's just me...but is Will gay? Sorry, I was just wondering because he flinched when Abbie (I think it was) mentioned girls?
Great writing, as usual. =)Author's Response: Hi again! :D I don't think you're the first one to wonder about that, and I'm not saying you're wrong... I'm just not saying you're right either ;) Hopefully all will become clear in the chapter I'm writing, or future chapters :) I got a lot planned out for ol' William, haha! Well, well done picking up on that! And thanks for another awesome review, I love hearing from you! Thanks!! :D Report Review
Wow that's a LONG chapter! But I like it! ^.^ But not Peri. She's awful! I don't know why I hate her. I just do!
(No dig at your writing btw, I just dislike the character haha)Author's Response: Hey again! Wicked to see ya :D Ahaha, if you think that's long wait until chapter 14 ^_^' oops. *Cough*8000words...*cough*. Anyway. Glad you like it, and ahaha you really dislike Peri? XD Well, I'm not sure you're the only one at this stage, so keep an eye out for who might be on the hate-Peri team ;) Glad you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for the reviews! Report Review
It was soo cute!!! I can't wait to see what happens! Please continue!Author's Response: Aw, thanks! :D I'm hoping to get the next chapter out before the queue closes, but we'll see. Thanks! Report Review
It's a good chapter, I wouldn't worry ^.^ still wondering what the deal with Trixie is. I don't quite like Peri to be honest. Not sure why...Author's Response: Well, good, 'cause I didn't much like it myself xD Ahh, isn't everyone wondering? Hahahah, all will be revealed... and really? Well, I suppose she is a bit suspicious eh? Hahaha ;) Thanks for the review again! Report Review
Hmm something is up with Peri...and Trixie? Lol I'm excited to read more!Author's Response: Mmm, an author never reveals his secrets ;) Glad you liked it, hope to see you next chapter! :D Thanks! Report Review
Yay! I really like it =) and I promise I review every chapter!Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I look forward to seeing those reviews! ;D Report Review
I like! =) it's pretty funny.Author's Response: Awesome! Thanks a bunch! :D Glad you liked it ;) Report Review
HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART! *glomps*
This review is special for many reasons:
1. It's for your birthday.
2. It's my first proper review for you.
3. It's written by me.
4. It's part one of eight, as promised.
5. It's written by me.
Numbers 3 and 5 are the most important ones.
You started this story really well. You had a strong beginning chapter introducing the Marauders and I really enjoyed reading about them. Some of your choices for characterization were a little surprising, but for the most part, I thought you wrote each of them well so far. Sirius being rather more athletic then James was unexpected for me, as I always assumed Sirius would be the lax, happy-go-lucky type, and James would be more motivated and competitive, but I liked the way you played around with their personalities a bit. I supposed, with this being their seventh year and by this time, according to the books, Sirius would be out of his parents' house, his being more concerned for his future was just natural, no? Part of his growth as a character. Hmmm. Good call! ^_^
I particularly enjoyed Remus. He was my favourite. I thought you fleshed out his character most accurately out of the four. I adored the fact that he didn't particularly like the nickname Moony, but was just too grateful for his friends to complain about it. I could really imagine the teenager Remus to think like that and you captured his humility really well. Great job! Yay! Haha. You didn't show much of Peter, though, which was something common in a lot of the Marauder Era fics. I could understand that, though. He was a rather difficult character to write, no? I thought he was more like a spectator on this one, especially right after you introduced and described him briefly, but I guess, in their teenage years, Peter was sort of exactly that person, right? I hope I could see more of him in the next chapters, though. ^_^
And James. lol His antics were amazing. You really gave him the best lines. "Next time, you indulge the dog." really made me laugh out loud for some reason. Heehee. It was so original and thank you for writing that. (Should I thank you or should I thank Gary? :P) The fact that the setting was the Potter Manor was really clever as well. I loved that little cameo from Charlus Potter. It was funny and very nice, because you've given us the glimpse of James' parents and the environment where James grew up, which I thought was really nifty. It added a nice little touch with James' characterization, you know? We had a good sense of how privileged his life really was and that was really nice. Great catch on the name Charlus as well. Someone did a little research. Hahaha. Some of James' reactions, though, I didn't quite get. lol I didn't understand why he'd be worried that Lily would be Head Girl, when he should've been happy that the two of them would get to spend more time together. Surely, that would be to his advantage... right? lol Sorry for being annoying. :P
Alright. I hope you would indulge me more this time, because I'm about to become more annoying. Heehee. Hang on.
*wears Annoying, Know-it-all, Stickler Hat*
So, I noticed that there was a lot of punctuation misses on this chapter that sort of ruined the good flow of the story for me. And some capitalization issues and some typos as well. Forgive me, though, if I won't elaborate on them now, as I plan to point them out to you in my next reviews. I think I'm about to exceed the character limit soon anyway. :P
For the annoying part of this review though, I'd like to talk about that letter from Dumbledore. It seemed a little off for me. In fact, some of the lines (i.e. Please don't faint yet, I need you to be able to read through this letter before your head hits the ground) seemed quite *cough*tacky*cough*. Eeep! Sorry for sounding really harsh, but I really thought that was a little corny for Dumbledore. That PS just killed me as well, no matter how funny it was. :S I dunno. Maybe it was just me, but I assumed the letter would be more formal, you know? I did like the second paragraph, though. I thought that was written better than the first. And I always thought Dubledore would sign an official school letter with his full name, too, with the title Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - or something like that. It could be just me, you know. Maybe I'm just being a perfectionist and mean and boring, but yeah. You don't have to listen to me. :P
*takes off Annoying, Know-it-all, Stickler Hat*
That felt better. Heehee
I must say, my dear, that your writing is very balanced. Honestly, ignoring all the technical slips-ups, I really enjoyed the way you've written this. Some of your descriptions, especially in the beginning with how you depicted the landscape around the Manor, were just very vivid and gorgeous. You wrote the interactions between the Marauders very well, too. It was very natural and easy and happy and your style is very engaging and enjoyable and young and I like that. It almost felt like I was talking to you sometimes - like you were telling me the story firsthand. ^_^
Over all, I really enjoyed reading this and I was glad that you requested for me to review this for you. Your story is very promising and you had a strong start. I can't wait to read the next chapters, so I guess I'll see you there? Hahaha. ILY, dear brother, and I hope you enjoy your sweet sixteen! ^_^
Talk to you soon, love. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *hugs*Author's Response: Wow. O.O
I love you. Seriously. *dies*
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW. You are the BEST! This is... long! And wicked! I don't care about you reading the rest of the story, haha, this is the best present I've had in ages! THANK YOU SO MUCH! ILY!
Ahh... wow O___O Now onto this fab, and very decent review...
Yeah, I have been told that my characterizations of the Marauders are particularly unique, if not a little strange but for the most part I've recieved praise for them, so I'm not complaining ^_^ I always kind of imagined Sirius would really want to take charge of his own life, whereas James who kind of has it all just sort of has it laid out for him - rich family, good grades and such. I suppose I kind of assumed he'd be a little more reluctant to think seriously about his future and be more childish in that respect. :D Ahh I actually quite like writing Remus. He's a really fun character to write, and since he's so opposed to having his condition in the first place I suspected that having a name that reminded him of it might bother him a little. Again, a little weird, but I'm very glad you liked it! ^_^
Gah. I didn't, did I? *sigh* I really try not to leave Peter out. I hate stories that do, y'know? Agh. Maybe I shall go back and try and give him a more in detail description. He's just so... ah, there aren't many hints to what he was like as a teenager. Apart from a tag along, which I don't particularly like. Although there is some Peter-centric stuff in chapter 3!! Haha. :D
I love writing James. YAYHEHASTHESAMENAMEASME. Haha... ha... was that out loud? He's just so... fun! And thank ME, ME, because Gary is so unhelpful >>. Ahaha- reaction of my dad when my brother told him how many GCSE's he got. Bahahaha xD Well, I'm glad you caught that privileged life thing. T'was very subtle. Hehe, I always do my research ;) Ahhh yeah. That was kind of a "she's gonna hate me for being Head Boy, I don't want her to hate me more" thing... that wasn't particularly obvious though. Haha, deep down he does enjoy working with her ^_^
No, no, no I love the annoying know it all hats! They help my writing get better! :D
Gah, seriously?! And this was the revised version of the chapter. :L Guess I should really start editing earlier than midnight. Or get a beta, haha.
Oh I hate that letter from Dumbledore. It's horrible xP When I revised I kept telling myself I'd go back to it and change it because I wrote it a year ago and it is sooo bad. But I never got round to it. -.-' I will do! It's so horribly blergh and... ergh. *Shudders*.
Haha, thanks very much! *blushes* I'm really, really glad you liked this chapter, I was like mega embarrassed about whether you'd hate it or not, and I'm really apprehensive about the rest of the story, especially beyond the third chapter as they're not revised and are horrible. Speaking of, you don't have to read the rest if you don't feel like it - THIS REVIEW IS AMAZING :D It is literally the best review I've ever had, and the most awesome present everrr! THANK YOU! This is more than enough, and way better than what I expected (not that I didn't doubt you're reviewing prowess, but you get my meaning).
Thank you. SO MUCH. !! ILY!!! And the sweet sixteen was a bash, talk to you about it soon! :D
THANK YOU, SIS! Report Review
I'm so happy, that you upadted now!
Cause school's getting really...annoying (to put it charitably ;) ) so I have at least something to be happy about.
And I'm pretty happy about how things are now bwtween Peri and Lily again!
I thought Peri may didn't to talk to Lily because she could bear her to be so...mean to James. But Peri thouht that Lily would want to be her friend because she is the cousin of James? Well that's kind of sweet that she thought like this...but in the end everything's okay now.
And that Lily tries to be nice to James, is so funny!
But I feel sorry for JAmes, because the others don't belive him, that Lily is nice to him..
But I hope that they will realise this soon...
And to Wills birthday: I loved the scene, where they walked rthrough the corridors and made the others move!
I think JAmes and Sirius had fun, but Will seemed to be pretty embarrassed. Well I think I would be embarrassed, too, but that's not the point here...
Oh and I HATE Severus!
He is such an stupid fool!
I mean he can't really expect her to let him explain, I mean after all he did...
I hope (like every time) that I forgot nothing in my review ;)
Well, I really hope that the update is soon!
Lots of loveAuthor's Response: Ah hey again Sweets! Another really great review - thank you so, so, so much!! :D :D Haha, annoying sure is a charitable way to put it... it really sucks! xD Yeeah, Lily and Peri are all good now, which is really cool, and I suppose it is kinda sweet. :) Well at least Lily's trying, right? Haha! And if she keeps trying, I'm pretty sure the others will come around and realise she actually IS being nice ;) Will was indeed pretty embarrassed, but at least James and Sirius enjoyed it. Severus is a git :D I'm pretty sure every Marauders fan could say that he's a git, in at least one way or another xD So WOW, thank you SO MUCH for another really long review, you really make my week and it's always really great to hear from you! Thank you! And I hope yo have an update up soon, hopefully you'll like it ;) Report Review
this may have been a filler chapter but i think it is one of my favorites. especially the part with lily and james haha. thanks for your work!Author's Response: Aw thank you very much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :D Thanks so much for the review!! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection