I thought you did very well with this challenge, managing to tap my emotions with so few words! I felt like I was on the same page as Ron the whole time, you brought me so neatly into his thoughts and dreams. This was really nice little missing moment, and, to me at least, the more likely thing that happened in the book. This was the line that got me: "She's covered half the distance between them." The way it's phrased makes it sound as if, even in her sleep, Hermione wants the same thing as Ron, and it was so touching. I basically melted when I read that. Great job! Report Review
It was 500 words? It seemed you wrote a novel in this piece. But that was because you put so much character in it. Every word was mature and poetic, and yet, it was still Ron. I can't believe you actually pulled that off! Congrats.
Even though it was so short, you managed to write a story with a past, present, and future in it. Amazing. You didn't cram in the plot line like most authors would (okay, like I would), but rather you spread it out smoothly. It takes amazing talent to do what you did, and I for one am envious of your writing ability. Report Review
So obviously this was short being only 500 words, but it felt as though it was so much longer than that because there was so much in it. The fact that you got all of this out of such a simple quote was amazing as well.
Your words were poetic, and the flow though the piece was flawless. I think that the last line was my favorite though because it just worked so perfectly for the situation, and for the ending of the one shot. This was a beautiful piece of writing as a whole, and unlike many things I've read before. :) Report Review
This is so adorable. As I am a HUGE Ron/Hermione fan, I couldn't resist reading this. I am so glad I did! :) Report Review
I have been dying - for weeks now - to find a DH-set Ron/Hermione one-shot and seeing this just made me squee a little tiny wee bit.
I adore most stories for this challenge because they pack so much punch into such a small space and this is absolutely no exception. It was an absolutely gorgeous take on one of those missing moments that is just dying to be written and I think you've done really well with it here.
There's something so perfect about Ron which I envy in every writer who manages it because I can't write him for toffee, and it is so obviously him. The element of awkwardness, those past experiences and so on, it just flies off the page, and it also shows perhaps how heartbreaking it is that he left them a few months later. I had that in mind whilst reading it and it puts another spin on it.
Anyway, this was cute and lovely and just so perfect and such a unique take on that moment too. The last line was probably my favourite - it'll stay with me!
Wonderful job, Melanie
xxAuthor's Response: Thank you, Rachel!! I was hit with the need to write some R/Hr fluff, because they are so lovely and I don't write enough of them. It's just so hard figuring out what to do with a couple JKR already did so well! So I was glad to figure out a new spin to take on this DH scene, and to be able to do something slightly unexpected and different than what was suggested in the book.
But I knew it had to be short, because I didn't want it to drag and become pointless, so I thought the best way to handle it was to keep it super-short and do it for this challenge.
I am really glad to know you liked it, as you are a queen of romancey-angsty-loveyness, and I'm so flattered to hear you enjoy how I write Ron. He must be one of the most enjoyable characters to write, in my humble opinion, though it always takes me awhile to figure out a good story worth placing him in.
Thank you again! I really appreciate it.
Melanie Report Review
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