Reading Reviews for Love, Not War
  
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Review #26, by pointless_proclamations Same Side Now

2nd September 2014:
Hello, Deana!

What an exciting chapter! :D

Poor Draco. Where is a Healer to keep guests away when you need one? lol. That can't be good for him.

This story brought up something interesting that I've been pondering over the last few days: Narcissa dying for Draco. Is that parallel to Lily dying for Harry? He probably doesn't have the same mental connection to Voldemort because the spell didn't backfire and nearly kill Voldemoet because he was still able to throw a 'Cruciatus' at Draco after she died. So it didn't make him a Horcrux. But did it, in any way affect Draco being a Death Eater from his birth? Did anything happen to his Dark Mark?

Draco needs a hug. He seems so fragile and broken, but his desire to apologise and make good with everyone is very commendable. I see recovery! You've made a point to show that he's not entirely hopeless despite the circumstances and I love it!

That description of Draco's state and Harry's looking into Voldemort's mind. . . Both scenes are absolutely heart-breaking and fear-inducing. Bravo! I was genuinely frightened.

Harry deserves a high-five for his attitude and Ron dwarves one too for the same reason, except the target of the high-five to the latter should be his face. What a git! I like how you used repetition in his dialogue to display immaturity.

At the same time, I hope that you are going to mature and develop Ron's character more.

I really like how Draco wants to clear things up. How despite how annoyed he is, he makes an effort to convey the truth no matter how weak it paints him on the surface. In this, you've give him strength and a character that anyone could be proud of. You have me such hope and it was a beautiful feeling. Again, I must bring up how clever you are with your characterisation because I felt so much empathy!

Here's what you did. You got the ungrateful Minister of Magic to show up at the Burrow. There is no way he's not going to see Draco. I suspect his lack of graciousness will be explained in more depth?

Deana!

So the Trio hasn't yet found the Sword of Gryffindor or they still don't know how to kill horcruxes. And I guess they haven't found each one yet.

And Snape! I love Snape, so I'm really curious to see what you're going to do with him.

What is Voldemort going to do to Lucius?

So many things you've got me wondering about!

Fingers will continue their twiddling and mind will not cease its worrying until the next chapter. In which another emotional roller coaster awaits I'm assuming.

Until the next chapter, cheers! :D

Author's Response: Hey Em, sorry it has taken me a few days to get back with you on this. Your enthusiasm for this story continues to amaze me, however!! I love it, you honor me with your words!! =D

Draco does have the love protection from his mother, yes, but it is not quite the same as Harry's. I guess the reason Voldemort was able to Crucio him immediately after it happened is because the magic hadn't had time to latch itself onto him yet, if that makes sense. His mother had only been dead a minute or two, if that, so that's why Voldemort was able to harm him in that moment. He figures out later on his mistake tho, and this will be key for future events... Honestly, I never even noticed that plot flaw until now tho, lol. So that's the cover story we're going with! ^_^;

Yes, he is very fragile, and very broken and depressed. So if he seems overly 'sharing' with Harry & Ron, I did this intentionally to show exactly how messed he is right now. Some people don't get that, and they say that he is out of character for confessing so much here. But I'm glad that you got the meaning behind it all. Draco has just been through a terrible ordeal, and he is not himself here, and that is what I was trying to get across. Glad it seems to be showing thru better with this re-written version. Thank so much for bringing that up!!

BAHAHAHA!!! Your comment about Ron getting a high-five-to-the-face just cracked me up!!! The trio only show up a few times here, and the next time isn't until waaayyy later in the story. But by then, yes, I do believe that Ron has calmed down bit. Of course, their circumstances have also changed by that point int the story, so there really is not time for animosity between them. *wink* The trio have not found the sword yet, no, nor do they know how to destroy horcruxes yet. Hermione can't just ask for a book on Horcruxes from the library without giving away their secret. Also, this story was originally written before the Deathly Hallows book was released, so when I was developing the initial plot line for this, I myself had no idea how it was all going to end... Now that I DO know about everything, however, I have tried to include as much from Cannon as possible into this story. So parts of it are DH disregarded, and parts of it are not.

Snape will actually become one of the main characters in this in the late teen-something (or early twenties) chapters, I believe. I hope you will like what I have done with his character when we get to that point also. As for Lucius, he will be showing up again around chapter 13 or 14, I believe. He had a HUGE part to play in this story yet, as you will see. This novel focuses a lot on the father-son relationship between Lucius and Draco. You'll just have to stay tuned to see how that all works out tho, lol!! ;)

The next chapter is actually the one I wrote in continuation from my "Doing the Right Thing" one-shot. So you will finally get to see Scrimgeour again, and learn what happens when he and Draco come face-to-face for the first time since the night of the attack. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on that as well!! Thank you so much for this incredible review, Em. I am hoping to have time to read more of your super awesome story some time tonight too, so you will be hearing from me again asap as well! See ya in the next chapter!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #27, by Gabriella Hunter Unexpected Visitors

2nd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review and I'm so sorry that its taken me a minute. I was oddly busy and then my allergies kind of put me in bed yesterday and that really sucked!

Anyhoo, on to this! I was really happy to get back to this story, I was wondering what was going to happen once Draco woke up. Saleena remained as capable as ever and I was really touched by the scenes you wrote with the pair, they were really well-done. I think that you captured Draco's arrogance, fear and pain very well and it was so wonderful to read but my goodness--Lucius took part in his torture? I was stunned to read that! I had no idea that he had sunk so low and the nerve to actually send that letter! But I think that maybe you could explain that in later chapters because its not making his father look very good. Draco of course was furious that his father had betrayed him and I couldn't blame him, though I felt his anguish at the knowledge that his mother was gone. I really can't wait to find out what else you do with his character and how the Trio will try to get along with him.

I liked your versions of Harry, Ron and Hermione as well. They came off as a bit more angry than I would have thought but I like what you did with them and I can't wait to see what you do next, I hope you won't mind re-requesting soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!! Sorry it has taken me a few days to reply to this. RL has been super busy this week. Sorry to hear about your allergies tho. I hope you get to feeling better SOON dear!!

I'm glad to see that you like Saleena, and were touched by their conversation. I'm glad you think that I was able to capture everything that Draco was feeling so well. As far as Lucius' participation goes – do keep in mind that there are 2 sides to every story. Right now we are only hearing Draco's side of things, and he clearly is not in his right frame of mind. There is more to Lucius' story than what meets the eye, lol. But I shall say no more on this now. All shall be revealed in due time. ;)

You won't have to wait much longer to see how the Trio interacts with Draco, or Harry and Ron at least. That particular confrontation is actually in the next chapter, lol! Of course I will be back to re-request!! (Actually, I already have, haha!) I love hearing from you, Gabbie. It is always a pleasure!! Thanks so much for coming back to Review! No worries on the time-frame hun. I'm just glad you are reading and enjoying the story so much!! See ya in the next chapter. =)

~Deana~


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Review #28, by pointless_proclamations Unexpected Visitors

1st September 2014:
Deana!

Your story tests my patience and I fail. :P

I don't know if you meant to mention soup and crackers twice to reveal the concern Saleena really has for Draco's well-being, but it happened.

Anyway. The Trio! You had me so worried that they'd end up being negative! They were understandably angered, but so kindly accepting towards the end of their segment. Especially Harry. It made me happy. :D I like being happy.

Oh the things Saleena said about Sirius! It is evident that she still cares and that makes me both sad for her and happy at the same time. I just kept going back to thinking about your beautiful one-shot!

Draco's well again. Kind of. But he is conscious! Recovery! Or the beginning of it. Mental, emotional, and physical recovery. He has a lot to go through doesn't he?

His memories. Oh my goodness. That was written so well! Everything is, but that is epic writing. So captivating.

Lucius? Oh the poor man. That must have really hurt both of them. And Draco doesn't know about the pact his father and Voldemort made at his birth? Oh dear.

And there are his feelings towards the Order. Yikes! Didn't realise how much I had to worry about his reaction. He's injured, I know, but he needs some sense slapped into him. Enter a selfless pink-haired female? Will she be here soon?

I know I had so many theories, but you still surprise me. :)

More theories that I must get out of my system: Draco rings the bell without Saleena? Arguments and apologies? Or just arguments. Or does he refuse to ring the bell? Because he feels that he doesn't deserve such treatment and attentions? Will it be Roxi to help him see that he has strength and is capable of kindness? That kindness is respected? Great theme of that's the case, by the way. I love stories with purpose and themes.

Whether or not Draco knows about Lucius, I'm sure you'll find a way to make things exciting as you are so good at. :D

No need to answer all the questions, but I just like asking them. Your story turns me into a questioning nutcase. :P

A whole lot of awesome is going on here.

Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello again!! I was wondering when I'd see you again, Em. It's always lovely to read your reactions and thoughts to this! I have missed you over the past few days. (:

Draco know the general story of the day that he was born, he just doesn't have all the details yet. I mean, Narcissa would have had to of told him something when he turned 17, and Voldemort has made several mentioning of it by this point too. So he is not totally clueless about what happened. He just hasn't had the chance to hear his father's side of events yet... But this may happen in due time. ;)

Hmmm... Not sure what you mean about the soup and crackers thing, but I will definitely be checking that out. Thanks for the tip!

I love your theories. He doesn't ring the bell, as you guessed, Draco is far too prideful for that. He does end up getting a surprise visitor the next morning instead/ I can't tell you who tho, you'll just have to read on to see!! Roxi will be making an appearance within the next few chapters or so. She gets her first mentioning in the chapter that I have in the queue right now. (Which should hopefully be validated tomorrow, btw!!) And yes, she certainly has a lot to teach Draco, but again, you shall just have to wait and see!! =P

The next 2 chapters are two of my favorites so far. There is a lot more action coming u, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on all of that!! Hope to hear from you again SOON!! Thanks so much for everything, Em! =)

~Deana~


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Review #29, by crestwood Under Arrest

31st August 2014:
Hi Deana!

I know the last review was long, but I have SO much to say about this story. It is now six in the morning and on one hand, it's a good thing that this is the last chapter, because I wouldn't be able to stop reading otherwise. But on the other hand, I do not want this to be the last chapter. The second an update happens I am going to jump on it like a rabid dog. I'm dying to see where things go from here. Literally every single chapter I read is my new favorite chapter. It's phyiscally impossible for you to continuing upping the stakes. It seems as though you must eventually run out of stakes right? I got actually stressed out at points while reading this. Like, in real life I got up and started cursing out loud while pacing in circles. I'm afraid I called Percy a piece of human um.. excrement. Yes, let's say excrement. That was just in the first few paragraphs. You write tension so real that I literally feel it myself. I'm legitimately nervous during a lot of scenes. I may be getting too invested when I have to take a few minutes to do some calming exercises in the middle of reading. That said, I LOVE READING THIS SO MUCH AND I WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO CONTINUE. Again, I will absolutely attack that update, whenever it happens.

Okay first off, Percy is the worst person that ever existed. I don't know if he's under the Imperius Curse himself or what.. but leading the Minister to his own parents in an attempt to get them in trouble and bring in Draco on behalf of Voldemort. Really?? Really Percy?? Putting your father under the Imperius Curse?? Are you kidding me Percy?? I just hope he is under some kind of curse because otherwise I will come AFTER HIM. - and then I'll probably remember that he's fictional and calm down.

It was so brave and genius of Molly to give herself up. Obviously with the Order so strapped for cash she couldn't let Arthur go down with his job in the Ministry. She did the only thing she could do in the situation and it was so wonderfully brave. I loved that so much.

I'm glad that the Minister finally heard sense. Even if Draco did not have that information for him, he had no right to pretend that he was a bad guy considering Draco literally saved his life not too long ago. I'm glad Draco explained what Voldemort did to him (still not easy to read) and the Minister came to his senses. Also, I'm so glad Saleena is back!! She improves any chapter she's in just with her presence. I already knew what the two pieces of information were before Draco said them actually. I figured the Dementor thing because the same happened in Canon - although the terrifying image of feeding Muggles to them and then burying them alive was not something that I predicted.. and Percy just seems the type to be Voldemort's spy in this story. Moreover, what he did to Arthur was too evil for him not to be working on the side of Voldemort. Also, the fact that he tortured Draco himself is despicable. And from the sound of it, he enjoyed himself. I can't speak to the kind of emotions you bring out of me toward him. Granted, they aren't positive, but I don't think I'm supposed to feel all too positive toward his character. Point is, I feel something. That, in and of itself, is an accomplishment. This whole story is an accomplishment. - Is Arthur still under the Imperius Curse?? - I know this story has like hundreds of reviews and over a hundred favorites and these reviews I'm leaving are literally like a drop in the ocean, but I really want you to know that this is amazing, amazing work. You could write anything and I'd want to read it. Original, fanfiction, essays. You name it. I'd read your emails if that was all I had available. You are supremely talented. I can't believe this. I really can't. I don't even feel I have put into words how fantastic this is yet, I could go on for a very long time. I'm just typing away. I hope it is being communicated that this is one of the most gripping stories I've ever read. period. Not on this site. Not fan fiction. This is one of the most gripping pieces of fiction I have ever read. Full stop. And you aren't even done. I am going to try my best to patiently anticipate the upcoming chapters. Thank you so much for the swap. You are amazing in every way!

- Joey

Author's Response: Hello again! I still cannot believe that you stayed up ALL NIGHT reading this story, Joey!! Your dedication is amazing, and I cannot tell you how much this has meant to me. You are a star, and I am just still so in awe of every single one of your reviews. But this one is probly my most favorite!! =D

I must say, I laughed SO hard at your reaction to Percy, lol. "Excrement" was a fabulous 12+ word choice; and very creative, haha!! I love making people hate Percy, and seeing their various reactions always makes my day! I will tell you that he is NOT under the Imperius curse tho. No family is perfect, and when I came up with the idea for this story, I wanted to show that even the Weasley family was susceptible to the growing darkness of this war. So I chose Percy to do my evil bidding, lol. I wish that I could say that things can only get better from here, but really they don't. I still have a lot in store for Percy's character and his deception knows no end. ;)

I'm so glad that you liked everything I did with all the characters in this. But I am even more happy that you like my OC, Saleena. The Minister was not an easy guy to write either, so I'm glad people really seem to like and appreciate what I did with his character in this. Oh, and you may (or may not) be right about that "Percy being the spy" guess. I am working on the chapter where this is to be revealed right now, so I will neither confirm or deny this, lol. I will say that Arthur is NOT still under the Imperius tho; Percy's magic is not strong enough to maintain that for an extended period of time or distance. Remember that this was only his first time performing that curse successfully.

Please do not dismiss your input on this story so easily, Joey. Your reviews are certainly NOT just "a drop in the ocean" out of the 460 that I have received, lol. I am starting over with this story, and I haven't had any reviews like this in almost 2 years!! I took an extended leave of absence from HPFF for college, and I feel like I lost a LOT of my regulars because of this. So to have you here now, and to see your newfound dedication to this story has truly inspired me! I went thru a phase back in 2011 to where I just wasn't getting any feedback towards the chapters in the 30's, and it was very discouraging. To the point that I questioned whether or not to continue this. I updated periodically in 2012, and started a new project. And then I left for school in 2013 and I wasn't sure if I would ever come back to finish this...

But I had some free time this summer, so I decided to make a comeback and I started this thing over from the beginning again. And YOU have made me feel like my decision to come back here and complete this story was worth every second. I just feel SO encouraged right now, and I have people like you (and Em & Gabbie) to thank for that!! So don't fear, your message has been communicate quite clearly, lol. And it means more to me than words can even describe!! This is one of the BEST reviews that I have EVER gotten!! I cried a little at the end, (tears of Joy, I assure you) cuz you just made me SO HAPPY!!! Thanks for everything, Joey. You are a superstar and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this story in the future. I love hearing from you!! ^_^

-Deana




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Review #30, by crestwood Same Side Now

31st August 2014:
I was taking notes throughout this chapter and I'm going to try and arrange them in a logical order and give you some feedback. It may or may not be five in the morning, but I have.. to.. keep.. reading..

Okay, it was amazing seeing Harry trying so hard to be warm toward Draco. You've written one of my favorite Harry's of all time here - he's just so mature and ready to put everything behind him and I love it. Draco telling Harry about what he went through was not easier to read just because I already knew it all. That story is never not going to make me extremely upset. How can you not feel sorry for him at this point? You'd have to be incredibly insensitive and basically lack any real capacity for critical thinking. - and that is DIRECTED RIGHT AT RON WHO MADE ME ANGRY IN THIS CHAPTER. but back to logical order and all of that - Draco's apologizing, or admitting that an apology is eventually in order, is so moving. Every time he starts crying, it takes everything in me not to join along. I have to take these breaks in the middle of reading and like compose myself and remember to breathe. And I will tell you, this era is not my favorite. I rarely ever read it. I am so firmly a Next-Gen fan that you wouldn't believe, but this has the power to change that. I'm thinking that maybe Post-Hogwarts stories are better than I thought.. or maybe it's just this one? I don't even know WHAT to think anymore.

Now, I will tell you that Ron in this chapter is acting so incredibly irrationally that I can't help be declare myself on Team Draco. It's just so clear that he isn't even trying to understand Draco's point of view and he's completely ignoring Harry. It's so obvious that Draco has a good reason to hate Voldemort now and want to take him down. I mean just look at him!!! - Really chilling description of how he looks as well, forgot to mention that. It kind of turned my stomach to think about - Ron is acting like such a child. I wanted to reach into the story and give Draco a hug and Ron a smack on the back of his head. I think he'll come around though.

I can't believe they haven't gotten rid of the locket yet. And Ron almost letting the word horcrux slip in front of Draco!! Also, the fact that Ron got especially mad when Draco called him nothing but a sidekick is SO perfect because the destruction of the locket in canon showed us how much Ron truly believes that to be true. That hasn't happened in this timeline though. I suppose since Voldemort hasn't taken over the ministry then Bill and Fleur's wedding was never broken up and the Trio never had to run off and Ron could return to the Burrow occasionally and he never left Harry and Hermione and wow, things are just different. I love this though. It's kind of like a chain of events. One thing didn't happen so all of these other things didn't ever. I don't know how you manage to keep all together so perfectly.

I have a theory that Draco now has the same protection that Harry has because of his mother's sacrifice and that is how he survived all of Voldemort's torture. That would be so awesome if I'm right and guessed that. You don't have to tell me though if you want to keep me on my toes trying to guess if I am right or wrong about it, it's just fun to speculate with this story.

Harry's vision is so frightening!! How do you write Voldemort like that! He's so difficult to get right, but you do more than get him right. You make him MORE TERRIFYING. He's so much more ruthless in this story. And the fact that he knows that Draco is at the Burrow is more than scary. Also, when Harry was in Voldemort's mind you referred to Voldemort's thoughts and actions as Harry's... which was petrifying. Ron trying to attack Draco in his current state is a bit ridiculous. Luckily Harry is there to defuse the situation, once again. Harry is just winning all of the cool points. I can't believe the Minister shows up so quickly!! I really hope no one goes to Azkaban. I hope he remembers that Draco saved his life. I'm going to be an emotional wreck if everything goes wrong. You're such an astounding writer!! I love this so much!

Author's Response: Hooray for note-taking, lol!! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this, Joey. I am just... speechless, really. You are so wonderful, really you are. Now I shall have to try and come up with a coherent response, haha!! =P

To hear someone say that I have written one of their favorite Harrys ever is a huge honor, and it kinda makes me wish that Harry was in this story more, lol. You're right; its hard not to feel sorry for Draco at this point, and I knew from the beginning that I had to make Harry see it that way also. Your reaction to Ron cracks me up so much, haha. I know he was behaving like a child, but I wanted to have a good contrast between him and Harry, so I made him a bit more irrational. I myself wanted to smack him for being such a git, but I've always seen Ron acting as stubborn as Molly. I'm sure he'll get used to it tho, in time, but for now he is angry and unafraid to show it, lol. I'm also glad to see that you picked up on the 'sidekick' comment. That was one of the new things I recently added into this to make it go along with DH more. :)

Yes, everything really is different because that one little thing did not happen. You see; I actually came up with the idea for this story BEFORE the last book came out, so that's why everything is so different. Now that I know the real ending to the HP series tho, it does get hard to keep them separate sometimes, lol. But I have a good outline, and I take good notes. Plus I've been working on this story for 6-7 years now, so I don't get it confused too often. I love it when people begin to speculate with this, lol! Your theory may be correct, haha! But that cannot be how Draco survived all the torture, because his mother did not die for him until the very end. Keep that theory in mind tho, as it may be popping up again later. ;)

As for Voldemort's character tho, I cannot take full credit for that. A few years ago, I had a wonderful Beta who was seriously an evil genius when it came to writing the dark lord, lol. Katie taught me everything I know about writing him, and his character wouldn't be near as evil in this, had it not been for her... The vision, and making Voldemort's thoughts/actions Harry's, was MY idea tho. That was something new that I just came up with when rewriting this chapter. This is one of my favorite new edits, lol, so I'm glad you found it satisfactory!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, Joey!! I was shocked to see that you don't usually read this era. Glad I am able to give you a new perspective on things then, lol. Hopefully you will continue to enjoy this as time goes on. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts in the near future!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #31, by crestwood Unexpected Visitors

31st August 2014:
WOW. Okay, I'm going to try to keep my thoughts coherent...

We finally get our first taste of the Trio in this story and wow they are just as angry as I pictured. Maybe worse... they are not taking kindly to Draco being there. Like, they're really giving Molly and Arthur an earful.

But then Harry takes charge!! I love his scream of enough. The word commanded was a good fit there because he definitely asserted his dominance over the room. And apparently he has done a lot of growing up during this alternate version of the war because he's being so incredibly clear-headed. I appreciate this new Harry a lot actually. What a level headed guy.

I like the idea of Superior Healers. I assume that is a creation of yours because I've never heard of it before. Of course Hermione is interested in her department and such. Even in times like this she's always here to learn.

Saleena and Harry bonding over their shared love of Sirius!! And we find out how they knew each other. Neighbors huh? That'll explain how she knows the whole family. And the fact that she always believed in his innocence makes me like her even more. She's not only trustworthy, but trusting. She's my favorite character by far. That rewrite of this from her POV would be literally mindblowing.

Okay, not literally mindblowing. My mind would *probably* stay intact, but it would be really cool if you decided to do that.

And another thing, great job on not being satisfied with Saleena being a Gypsy being her only identity point. I feel like you gave her a lot of interesting traits that don't have to do with that, so that she doesn't feel like a gimmicky gypsy add-on, but rather a multi-faceted character, that happens to have a mysterious gift that amplifies how intriguing she is.

The conversation between her and Draco was kind of heartbreaking.. seeing him realize all over again that his mother is gone really hurt. Especially knowing that he never had a choice and then reading your one-shot and finding out that even with all of the odds stacked against him, he choose to do good. AND the ministry repays him by putting him on the Wanted list.. it's just almost too much to handle. His dad joined in on his torture for crying out loud.. and he has no way of knowing that his father fought for his life in the very beginning. I just feel so, so sorry for Draco like I never have before. And I'm not even someone who hates him, I just have never seen life throw so much in one person's way. This is amazing. Amazing. I'm obsessed with this story.

Author's Response: Hey Joey!! Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. These reviews seriously made my day tho!! It was such a nice surprise to wake up to!! =D

Yay! I'm so glad you like my Harry tho!! You shall be seeing more of 'Harry the Peacekeeper' in the next chapter, for sure... Haha, if you really want to know more about Saleena and Sirius, I have a one-shot about them, you know. Look on my page; it's called "Perfect". I really think that you will like it!! ;)

Yep, the Superior Healers thing was my idea. Glad you appreciated that little aspect as well. You really don't miss much, do you!? *wink* I am, like, super happy that Saleena seems to be coming across so much better now!! You're absolutely right, or course, there's alot more to her than what meets the eye. She's been thru a lot on her life and she has her fair share of secrets.

As for the Ministry putting him on the Wanted List... stay tuned to see how that turns out, lol. And you may not know it right now, but Lucius actually had a very good reason for joining in. Keep in mind that this is Draco's POV right now, therefore we are only hearing about what he believes is the most accurate version of events. There is still alot more to come on his father's side of the story as well. We have not seen the last of Lucius yet. ;)

Yay! I have new fans. I love new fans, haha!! Honestly, your newfound obsession with this story just makes everything that I have put into it so much more worth it!! Thank you SO MUCH for reading, and for all of your enthusiasm. I cannot wait to continue to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story as well!! =D

~Deana~


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Review #32, by crestwood The Healer

31st August 2014:
This just got even more interesting. I was already thinking that this is a really original idea and that I've never really read anything like this and then you introduce a gypsy character. I can't even begin to speak on how well done you did this too. I didn't quite understand what Saleena's mother could be alluding to when she said "our people." I was trying to guess, but I could not place my finger on it. I knew it was something special though. It felt important and I knew I'd be blown away by it. But, I have to say gypsys in the Harry Potter universe is one of the most clever ideas that I've read on this site. I am so incredibly excited to see what kinds of magical properties you've given Saleena and what her "gift" entails. Apparently it is something that would help with Healing, which explains why the Malfoys would want her above all, although Draco being Wanted probably has something to do with it as well.

The Gypsys are considering joining forces with Voldemort, which is bad news of course. But, as we know, he has a way of convincing people of things. Very clever with words that Riddle is..
I'd love to know more about Kireonna and her relationship with Mrs. Black and how close Saleena was with Sirius!! This all seems so interesting. And Saleena refers to the Malfoys as 'wand carriers' Does this mean that she doesn't need a wand to practice her form of magic? In general, I'm so invested in her story and her people, which is a HUGE accomplishment to manage within one chapter. But you've really made her pop off of the page, especially with her coldness toward her mother. She truly does not have much pity for that woman. So far each chapter has had a different POV, giving us all these different sides of the same events. It's incredible because I thought this would be a story of smaller scope and then I start to read and realize you are not only telling a story about Draco, but that you are telling what is starting to look like an epic of sorts. I can't tell you how impressed I am by this.

It's interesting that you're a Gryffindor and yet you paint Draco in such a favorable light here and of course, your name on the forums shows some love for the Malfoys. That just struck me as very.. open minded.

Anyway, you've absolutely pulled me in. I don't know how I'll stop reading this and go to bed tonight. Each chapter has been an improvement on the last. Whatever you did to these chapters in editing, continue doing that!!! haha

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad to see you like the Gypsies so much!! You'll see more of what their "gifts" can do, and how their culture operates as a whole in the new chapter that I am working on right now. (Hoping to have that one up and validated by the end of next week, so stay tuned!!) Also, you will be seeing more of Kireonna's character as the story progresses later. She makes a reappearance in, like, the early twenty-something chapters, I believe... **If you are still curious about the Gypsies, and wanna learn more about Saleena and her relationship with Sirius, I recommend stopping by to read my one-shot entitled "Perfect" also.** ;)

You are right again; the gypsies do not require wands to do magic. I'll give you that specific detail ahead of time, since you pretty much guessed it yourself, lol! TBH: I have given some serious thought to writing this story over from Saleena's POV once this Novel is done. I have had several people wanting to see a Gypsy-centered fic... I may-or-may-not attempt this for NaNo this year. Still not certain how my schedule will look in the next 3 months tho. If I DO write one, however, you will definitely be one of the first people to know, I promise!! =)

I rewrote Saleena's alot of back-story when I edited all of this. This chapter was so long and drawn-out; it was combined with the next chapter all into one!! And she was coming off as Mary-Sue to alot of people by giving too much of herself away right off the bat. So I cut a bunch of that back and am introducing her more gradually now... And to hear you say that she was "popping off the page" like that just seriously made my night!! HUZZAH!!! Thank you so much for this, Joey. I really appreciate it!! =D

Wow? Do you really think this could be that Epic?? YAY!! thank you, thank you, thank you!! This is one of THE BEST compliments that I have gotten on this story in such a LONG time!!! I have really been working hard on this, ALL summer now, lol! I had to take a break from HPFF for a year and a half while I was on school, and I missed it SOO much!! I like to think that all the essay-writing I had to do in college helped improve my writing tho, lol. When I came back and read back over my old stuff, I was like: "ok, I can make this sooo much better now." And that's exactly what I am trying to do!! Glad that somebody has taken notice, tehee!! =P

That being said now, you CANT sit up all night and read ALL of this tonight - it isn't finished yet!!! For the time being, you HAVE to pretend that there are NO MORE published chapters AFTER #7: Under Arrest, cuz the story will not make much sense past that point. I have altered quite a bit from the beginning, so the later chapters do not yet go along with the overall tone that this fresh new beginning has, lol!! So PLEASE be patient with me, and follow along as I re-post this story. It'll be fun, haha!! You have your review-thread, so I shall just keep coming back to request a review as each new chapter becomes available for public viewing!! Sound like a deal? ;)

A million thanks go out to you for doing this with me tonight. It has been a LOT of fun, and I cannot wait to do it again! I look forward to receiving more of your feedback in the near future, Joey!! =D

~Deana~


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Review #33, by crestwood The Letter

30th August 2014:
This is shaping up to be a really, really interesting AU. From what I've gathered, it's Ginny's 7th year and the Trio have not yet found the Horcruxes and there was no Battle of Hogwarts. Voldemort hasn't completely taken over the Ministry yet and Voldemort has killed Narcissa Malfoy and left Draco for dead. Just from the start, that's a very interesting premise and I would definitely call it original.

Lucius' letter was very well written. You can feel the urgency of it all. He's absolutely desperate, as he should be. I mean, he has to be if he swallowed his pride and left him outside of the Burrow with a letter begging the Weasleys of all people to take him in. I'm a bit shocked that Molly wouldn't want to take care of Draco at first, because she always seems like an especially caring, nurturing person. But of course, that's always in regards to her family or close family friends. We rarely see her having to make a tough decision like this in canon, to have to take care of someone from a family she hates. Knowing how much the two families are at odds, I understand how it would test anyone's will to help others. Of course, after a while to ponder the situation, she came around to the idea, reluctantly. It really would be such a difficult decision to make, but I can't imagine the Weasleys leaving him out to die. I think that's Lucius left him there. He knew that they could never do that.

Your writing is phenomenal. I'm completely absorbed in this storyline already. I can't wait to see what kinds of odds Draco and the Weasleys come to at the Burrow. Not to mention the reaction of all of the kids. Especially Ron... that's going to make for a whole lot of tension.

Great chapter, I'm off to read on!

Author's Response: Hello again, Joey!! Yep, you've got everything figured out pretty well, I see!! Thank you SO MUCH for calling this story Original! I like being unique and writing different things. (As I'm sure you can definitely relate to that, lol!)

The war has changed Molly quite a bit, and I'm glad you seem to have caught onto that. She will lighten up to him as time goes on though, you'll see. And Lucius' letter was one of the 1st things I updated in the rewrite, lol. It was not that good before; he sounded like a whiny baby, honestly. So I was glad to see that you enjoyed the new version of this letter so much! Makes me feel like my hard work is actually paying off now, haha!! =P

You thot it was phenomenal?!?! OMGosh, Joey, you're SO NICE! I am SO ecstatic right now, to see that you are enjoying this so well!! =D

Oh, and you will see the Trio's reactions in #6: Same Side Now - if you wanna read that far into it tonight, that is. I will tell you that Ron's reaction is pretty great, I think! I don't usually like to brag, but I am quite proud of how the new version of that particular chapter turned out; so I cannot wait to hear YOUR thoughts on it now as well!!! ;)

~Deana~


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Review #34, by crestwood Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

30th August 2014:
Hey Deana!

I was taken by total surprise here. I don't know what I was expecting, but I have to say, I was not expecting this. Parts of this chapter are truly horrifying. I mean, Voldemort's always evil, but you've brought him to a new low honestly. There's some terrifying implications in his agreement with Lucius and you did a great job of really diving into just how horrible it is. He effectively took away all of the free will from all of their lives. Lucius and Narcissa have no choice but to raise their child to follow Voldemort's ideology and Draco has no choice but to follow through with it because it'll be all he ever knows. It raises the question; would it have been better just to let him kill their son, rather than allow him to live a life as an inevitable Death Eater that never had a choice? That's a pretty deep question to raise in what is only a prologue. That's incredible!

Also, you've made the Malfoys sympathetic characters in the most genius way. You didn't stray from their characterization at all since Lucius still must raise Draco to follow Voldemort's ways, but you've found a way to make it an honorable thing to do. That's such a brilliant idea and this chapter is so emotionally stirring. You've done an amazing job setting this story up. I can only imagine where you'll go from here. Can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: I am going to try to respond to ALL of your awesome reviews tonight, but I am super-duper-tired right now, so there's a good chance I may pass out at my laptop whilst trying to write, lol!! (If that happens, I'll see you tomorrow!!) =P

Anyways, I am glad you were so surprised!! I was equally surprised by your fics as well, so I guess this makes us even now, lol! ;)

Thank you so much for all of your kind words! I like reviewers who are not afraid to show how much the story has made them think - if that makes any sense, haha!! I tend to focus a LOT more on the emotional sides of things when I write, as I'm sure you will see more of later on down the road, should you continue to read the rest. & I really like painting the Malfoy's in a new and different lite for people. So it brings me great joy to see that you are already empathizing with Lucius and Narcissa. (:

Again, thanks so much for all the encouragement!! This has been one of the best swaps that I have ever done!! Now onto the next review.

~Deana~


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Review #35, by Gabriella Hunter The Healer

30th August 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie here with your review and I'm here a lot quicker than usual for once! I was really excited to see all the stories in my thread so I made sure to attack this with all my might!

I was a bit taken aback by the abrupt POV change but I was able to follow along pretty quickly after that. Saleena Blackwell wasn't at all what I was expecting and I certainly thought that she was going to be a bit older so I was surprised by how young she was. I was also really intrigued by the history of her family these gifts that her mother kept talking about, I hope we'll be able to find out more about them soon. The Clan sounds like a pretty interesting route to take, especially since I've never read anything about Gypsies before in a HP fanfic but I think that this came off as sounding like a completely different story. I'm not sure how you're going to work all of this in and I'm certain that it'll all make sense in due time but it was a bit confusing and I feel like the second half didn't add up quite right. I did like that Saleena was opposed to rejoining her Clan and I'm a bit worried about the ones that joined Voldemort--that isn't going to bode well. Saleena's relationship with her mother was a good contrast from the one that you had already established for Mrs. Weasley and Narcissa in the previous chapter so I really like what you did there. Will we be seeing her again?

That last little bit just had me kind of worried for Draco though. The poison might kill him and I hope that Saleena had gotten there in time to save his life, I was touched by how concerned she was and it honestly didn't surprise me that she was the Malfoy's personal Healer (I somehow think that they wouldn't have trusted the St. Mungo's Healers all that much) so I'm glad that you added that little bit in. Saleena as a character seems really hard working and dedicated but on one hand, I think she comes off as a little too sassy but that's just me.

I caught a few grammar things in the beginning and middle and a few words are repeated in the same sentence. I'm sure your beta will be able to spot them and they're nothing too major so you shouldn't be worried about them! ;D

Other than what I mentioned, this was a good chapter and I can't wait to see what you've got in store.

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again, Gabbie!! It is always a pleasure to see you back here!!

Saleena is Sirius and Remus's age, so she's close to 40 in this. That's not too awful young for a Healer, I hope. She looks younger than she is because that's part of her being a Gypsy. So if it was the CI at the beginning that threw you off about her age, then that's why, lol... And yes, you will be seeing more of Kireonna again - around chapter 20ish I believe. And I promise you that everything will fall into place in due time my dear, in due time! The chapter that I am working on right now, actually; which will be #9, (I think?) will give more detains as to what "the gifts" are, and which one in particular that Saleena has. And you will see later on how everything ties in, I hope... So please stay tuned, haha!! ;)

I'm glad you have caught on to how hard-working and dedicated to her job that Saleena is. That is a key element to her character, and not too many people really comment on this. Saleena has only ever had her work, so she has kind of distanced herself from people to become successful in her career. Her job is her escape, if that makes sense. She took Sirius' imprisonment to Azkaban really, cuz that happened when they were both so young. Sirius was her only real friend, and when she lost him she just sortta went on and buried herself in her work... I may write a Novella in Saleena's perspective once I have finished this Story. The plunny for it is already there, and I have SO MANY notes on her character. It would be great to be able to share them all with my HPFF peeps one day!! ^_~

My beta & I will be going back over all of this as soon as her laptop gets fixed, no worries!! Thank you so much for another amazing and inspiring review, Gabbie!! I shall be back to re-request. See you in the net chapter. I can't wait!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #36, by pointless_proclamations The Healer

29th August 2014:
We meet again, Deana. :P

Her relationship with her mother is definitely messy. I see a lot of pull from her Kireonna and push from Saleena. On one hand, it is disheartening to see her turn her back on her family and not want to take leadership to at least try to change things. On the other, it's nice to see her quite stubborn in her beliefs because her clan does seem very unlikeable.

"You know already know this." One too many 'know's?

Kireonna is an obviously conflicted character. You have me being annoyed at her for coming into Saleena's life and not wanting to leave her clan regardless of what she believes, but you also have me feeling sorry for her. Her daughter seems to be the clan's only hope to make everything right again. Which brings me to the question, what in the world is Saleena going to do?! Will she go back? Willingly or reluctantly? What will make her return, if she does?

It was so nice to see people caring about Draco. He's spent half of the chapters here so far unconscious, but I can't stop thinking about him. Oh poor, Draco!

I see Molly warming up to him!

I do like how you interpreted Dumbeldore's actions to indicate Draco's being destined for greatness. It's very clever.

You never disappoint, do you?

Author's Response: Yes, Saleena is VERY stubborn. I'm glad you picked up on that because that is one of the things that makes her so much like her Grandmother. Even tho she constantly denies it, her and Queen Carla have a lot more in common that even she knows. Saleena is also a lot like her father too, I think. But he doesn't ever make an appearance in this...

This chapter has not been Beta'd yet because my Beta's computer is down right now, so thanks for pointing that typo out to me. I will be sure to correct that and get it fixed up with my next revision, which should hopefully be coming up here pretty soon.

You will find out about Saleena's choice in about... 5 chapters from now, give or take. And as for Kireonna, she will be making another appearance in the early 20's and will have a reoccurring role in the story from there on out. Their relationship does come into play later on, in the 30's, but I don't wanna give it all away right now, haha!! =P

I try not to disappoint, lol! So I hope that you will continue to feel this way as you read on!! Thanks again so much for your enthusiasm and continued support. You reviews mean the world to me, honestly! Cant wait to see you in the next chapter, Em! =D


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Review #37, by pointless_proclamations The Letter

27th August 2014:
Deana,

I'm in for another exciting, emotional roller coaster rise. :D

I love the way you were Arthur and Molly here! Arthur's kindness, empathy, and generosity are all evident is Molly's stubbornness and her motherly nature. Amazing characterisation, yet again! Another strong suit of yours I see (teach me, please :P).

I sense that this is the start of something vey interesting! Oh the things they could teach Draco! From 'Doing the Right Thing' it seems that he won't be too unwilling or difficult. . . Unless he is overly distraught over the death of his mother. Oh that poor thing. He'll have to come to terms with that first. And he'll think it's his fault, won't he? Because Voldemort did threaten to kill her and he knew that. Draco needs hugs and/or chocolate, too (if he doesn't mind excessive physical contact and if he's not allergic).

My eyes widened when you mentioned Saleena. I cannot wait to see how she's doing.

The Lucius from last chapter returns. :) He so obviously cares about his son and is selfless enough to give him up to people he realises that can take care of him better. Draco won't see this that way, will he? Will he be bitter about his father? Does he know that Voldemort acted as his mother's midwife and cursed him upon his birth against his parents' wills? Does he know that his father verbally fought for his survival? Probably no. But will he find out? Does anyone know about his dark mark? What is he poisoned with? Can Saleena, with her gypsy, memory abilities, figure it out and synthesise a cure?

You mentioned Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione! I hope they will understand, too. Maybe upon Draco's apology of his mistreatment of them during their school years. . . I shall have to see, shall I? What are they up to? Horcrux hunting?

Your ability to produce so many questions in my head only indicates how exciting your story is. Overall, you made perfect sense of this very strange situation. :)

Your fan and enthusiastic reviewer, ;)
Em :D

Author's Response: Hey Em!! Sorry it has taken me a few days to respond to this amazing review!! I'm SO glad that you are enjoying this so much tho. I look forwards to hearing your thoughts in the later chapters too!! =)

Thanks so much for all the compliments you made to Molly & Arthur's characters here. When I rewrote this, I took time to really focus on those two and get them just right. They were a tad immature and OOC in the version that was up before, lol. But it's good to know that everything seem to be coming across so much better now tho. (:

As for Saleena, yes, you will be seeing a lot more of her here SOON!! Stick around to find out more about the trio too; you won't have very much longer to see what happens there... And there is also MUCH more to come on Lucius and his father/son relationship with Draco in future chapters too, lol! Hopefully you will stick around until the end so you can see all of these things unfold. I have many, many more surprised in store! ;)

I haven't actually decided if Draco knows everything about the day that he was born yet or not. I know that sounds crazy, but IF Lucius is to be the one to tell him, then this will not happen until around chapter 12 or 13 somewhere... Once I rewrite those few chaoters, I will then decide as to how much Draco already knows at this point. I imagine that his mother would have told him some of it the day he came of age, and Voldemort would have had to have said some things about it too. So Draco is not completely in the dark about everything in his past right now. Hopefully that makes sense, lol! ^_^'

As far as his recovery goes tho, you'll just have to keep reading to see how that one goes!! I'm glad you have so many questions, lol!! Feel free to ask me as many as you want! I can't always guarantee that I will be able to answer every single one of them - hey, some things have to be a surprise you know - But we shall see how it goes. =P


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Review #38, by Gabriella Hunter The Letter

26th August 2014:
Hello!

Its Gabbie from the forums with your review, thanks for giving me such a great story to read, you've made my day! I would have gotten here a bit sooner but I was having some boring real life issues and things got a little tense. Like, can you believe that?

Anyhoo, on to this! This feels like a very interesting AU to me and I'm curious about how you're going to work in the events of the past book and what you've done here. I really like what you've done so far with this, it kind of makes me sad to see that the Burrow is empty though without the kids. I did like that your POV with Arthur was very smooth, it really felt like him to me and I think his character was spot on. Although the children weren't there anymore, you could see that he was still worrying about them and where they would be in the next month or so. I think that it really showed in how tired he was and how dull the Order of the Phoenix meetings were getting. The war was quickly falling out of hand and not knowing where Ron, Harry and Hermione were only made it so much worse for Arthur and Molly.

Also, I have no idea why but I want to know a bit more about Percy. I'm kind of a Percy enthusiast at the moment so anything Percy Weasley is going to snatch my interest...

I wasn't expecting this letter! Lucius Malfoy of all people? I wonder how he was able to get it sent without being killed himself? The letter itself was more heartfelt and painful than I would have expected and I was really blown away by how you wrote it. Lucius never struck me as a very warm man but his fear for Draco and the grief he was suffering at the loss of his wife were just so powerful. I think that one some parts of the letter it sounded a bit too juvenile but otherwise, it was very good.

Now, I know that you mentioned that people thought that Molly and Arthur's bickering was sort of childish but I enjoyed it! I think that being married for so long can really create a good banter between couples, it didn't seem forced but I was able to see how close they were. Now, Molly's refusal to allow Draco into the home at first put me off but then I had to try and think of what she had been through. I like that you made her sort of the villain for a minute, that's a side of her that we usually don't see. Arthur did have a good point though in allowing Draco to stay with them, maybe they CAN help! I would like to see how that goes and what Draco will say if he survives. I hope they find the cure for that poison soon! I can't wait to see what he says about everything and what might happen next.

I think you've got something really great here and I hope you stop by again!

There were only a few misspelled words but otherwise your flow and pacing are wonderful. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!! OMGosh, this review seriously made my day!! I am SO glad you think that this is such a great story. I have been working extremely hard to make this thing better all summer, so it's good to see that some of my hard work seems to be paying off. =)

Don't be sad tho, the Burrow won't be empty for too much longer. *wink* Thanks for the compliments on my characterization of Arthur. He is one of my favorites to write. And as far as Percy goes... He's definitely an important character in this story, just probly NOT in the way that you might expect. He is present for the majority of this story after, like, chapters 13 or 14 onwards... I don't wanna give too much away here tho, but if you LIKE Percy's character then you're definitely in for a pretty big shocker, lol! Just keep in mind that this story is Book 7 disregarded, for the most part. I started this story before DH was released, and since then I have done my best to incorporate cannon things from the last book into this Novel. It is still pretty AU for the most part tho, and Percy's character is very much different in this than what he is in Cannon. I just hope that you will stay tuned for that and continue to read this story even after Percy's big reveal, lol. ;)

YES!! Thank you SO much for everything that you said about Lucius' letter. I worked on that a lot to get it just right. And I'm glad that Molly & Arthur's dialogue seems to be much better too. This chapter is the only one that has been fully Beta'd now tho, so I am curious as to what misspelled words you found, lol. If you notice these things next time, could you lease point them out so that I can get them fixed asap? Thanks again for reading and reviewing, Gabbie. I will definitely be back to re-request again!! :D

~Deana~


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Review #39, by pointless_proclamations Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

22nd August 2014:
Deana,

Hello once more. I had to continue reading. I did. I really couldn't help myself. It's such an exciting story!!

I'm not sure if you meant to write 'sure' as many times as you did in the first few paragraphs. If you did, ignore my comment. If you didn't, that's fine too. It doesn't take away from the stupendous quality of this chapter.

This chapter was like a roller coaster of emotions and filled with as much excitement. So interesting! I didn't take my eyes off your words from the moment I read the first word to the last. It's on-the-edge-of-my-chair, eyes-nearly-bursting-out-of-my-eye-sockets, and OH-MY-GOODNESS-WHAT-IS-GOING-TO-HAPPEN-HERE quality writing.

I like how you are very neat and crafty in that you tie the first paragraph to the last two. You have amazing control over the level of excitement, over the aforementioned emotional roller coaster. You knew exactly where to turn at every point. You engineered this piece brilliantly.

On to your characters. Again, very easy to empathise with (excluding Voldemort because he's just a Witch-from-Rapunzel-type of meanie). Every feeling Lucius and Narcissa experienced made complete sense to me. I felt it too. I think it's clever of you to introduce Draco's perspective first and then his parents' immediately after. Again. . . You are brilliant.

Cheers. :D

Author's Response: It's fine, really. These have all been edited now, but not many changes were made to the Intro & Prologue this time around. I am so glad you find the story to be so exciting and addicting tho! Just remember that you HAVE to stop at chapter 8 for right now, haha!! =P

I love taking people on emotional roller-coaster rides, lol. So you will definitely be seeing more of this in the chapters to come, that's for sure. ;)

Thanks again for everything, Em. You are the nicest (and most enthusiastic) reviewer I've had for a while now, lol. I cannot wait to see more of your reactions as the story goes on!! :D


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Review #40, by pointless_proclamations Draco's Introduction

22nd August 2014:
Deana,

I know this isn't part of our swapping deal, but I had to! Just a quick one!

Once again, your first sentences captured me! I read on to discover even more captivating sentences. And once more, you introduce your characters so well! Furthermore the Malfoy family dynamics are crystal clear. I like how you used

I know you told me to ignore the exclamation points. There were 18 and most should stay, if you're going for frustration as opposed to desperation. :D

You are spectacular! You're writing is too! :D

Cheers.

Author's Response: Hahaha, that's hilarious that you actually COUNTED the exclamation points, lol!!! Thank you so much for this surprise review, dear. You are too kind. ;)

Glad you are enjoying the story so much, and I cannot wait to see what you think of the rest as well! Thanks for the compliments to my writing. I hope that you will continue to see an improvement as the story progresses. =)


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Review #41, by mymischiefmanaged Draco's Introduction

22nd July 2014:
Hiya, I've not read anything in Draco's voice before so this is really interesting. The writing style doesn't quite match up with what I'd expect from Draco but then in the books we only ever see him with Harry so it's completely plausible that there is more to him than we realise.

The discussion of 'All's fair in love and war' is very accurate and an interesting opening to the story, showing something about Draco's character (that he thinks deeply about his situation and is very thoughtful underneath the arrogance we see in the books) as well as reminding us of the horrible state of the war.

Draco struggling with being compared to his Father is interesting as we'd expect him to invite this comparison. It's good to see that he wants to distance himself from his family and be his own person.

It's disturbing but effective to see the way Lucius and Narcissa taught Draco their beliefs from a young age, and you do a great job of showing how as a child he accepted them without question.

I'm glad Narcissa tells Draco she loves him, and your description of Lucius's attitude to love fits in completely with the way he seems in the books. It's sad but probably very accurate to see how Draco grew up not really understanding what being in love means.

I also like Draco's justification for why he's telling his story and his dismissal of Harry. It's just like him to try to one up Harry even after everything they've been through, and it's clear this isn't done with malicious intent.

Good work. This looks like a really interesting basis for a story and I'm interested to see how it progresses.

Emma x

Author's Response: I'll be honest... I was seriously thinking about deleting this whole Intro chapter and just starting the story off with the Prologue. But then I got this review, along with one other, and you made me change my mind, haha!! I am so glad to see that you liked the "All's fair in Love and War" discussion. :)

Yes, there is certainly more to Draco; and Lucius as well, than what meets the eye in this story, as you will see if you continue to read on. This is all under serious construction right now tho, so I'm actually glad you haven't read into it any further yet. I would LOVE for you to come back and red more once I am done editing everything tho!!

Thank you so, SO much for taking the time to review this for me. I really do appreciate everything that you have said. Like I already mentioned, this review helped talk me outta deleting the Intro, lol!! So thanks, again, for that!! I will surely be back to let you know when the updates are posted!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #42, by marauderfan Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

16th July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

What interesting insight on Voldemort's opinions of Draco - it makes sense that he would be irritated at the Malfoys for taking some of their attention away from serving their Dark Lord. (Also, even though I should probably not be giggling during this scene, the idea of Voldemort there at the birth like a really creepy midwife is just cracking me up haha.)

Oh wow - so intense, first an Unbreakable Vow and then Draco is pledged to be a Death Eater from age 10-minutes. Very chilling scene. This is a really interesting take on Lucius and Narcissa. I realise the story is meant to be slightly AU so I'll not comment on how the characters compare to JK's, just how they are in terms of your story. They do seem very loving and concerned, and it's interesting to see that even this early on they were losing their enthusiasm for the DE's. I felt badly for them as they were really forced into this unbreakable vow and had no choice at all. I can't see how Lucius could have made another decision and still kept Draco alive, so all things considered he did the right thing. But how horrible for them, on what should be a happy day :(

A bit of CC/ things to watch out for... I've noticed that often you tend to use semicolons rather than commas, for example here: This day; as well as the night that followed it, should have been seemingly happy. -- Semicolons are used to connect two phrases that could be sentences by themselves, so after "this day" should be a comma.

Also, I know the intro is told in the POV of a different Draco than in the books, but I thought I'd point out that he seems a bit... off. Just the way there are a lot of exclamation marks and angsty emphasis, it kind of makes him sound like he's 15 - it could be fixed by just toning it down a bit. ;)

Otherwise, I think it's an interesting start, and the AU twist you've added about Lucius and Narcissa seems pretty intriguing. I'm curious to see what you'll do with their characters, and how everything affects their relationship with their son (which, based on the intro, Draco has a negative opinion of them despite how hard they tried, aw.)

Great work!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm just glad that SOMEONE out there gets it as to why Voldemort would be upset with the Malfoy's trying to have a baby right in the middle of the 1st war. Some people think that makes him OOC, because they think the Dark Lord would be proud to welcome a new pure-blood into the world. While I do see where they are coming from, I feel like he would say that there is a time and a place for everything, lol. So thank you, for commenting on that first. I appreciate you for agreeing with me, lol!! ;)

I have a new Beta now, and we are smack in the middle of re-writing and editing all of these beginning chapters right now. So thanks for pointing out the little grammar details and such. I will definitely add that to my list of things to look for when I edit this chapter now!! :)

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and review this for me! I am SO SORRY that it has taken me so long to respond. I have been extremely busy this summer. I even had to miss the last week of this House Cup because of my insane work schedule!! =/

But anyways, I hope you will continue to read/review the rest. I will be sure to come back and re-request once I have all the new edited chapters posted. I am in the middle of re-writing the beginning right now, so stay tuned, haha!! =D


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Review #43, by Gabriella Hunter Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

12th July 2014:
HELLO!

Its Gabbie here with your review! Its nice to meet you! I stalk the forums and archives every once in a while so be sure to stop by and chat if thou would want weird conversation.

Anyhoo, this was a really different beginning for a story. I was drawn in from the first sentence, the scene you created was dark and so foreboding and whatever joy that was supposed to have come from having a baby was completely destroyed. Voldemort holding a baby is enough to make me shiver and what he actually commanded out of Lucius and his wife was horrible! How terrible is that? I thought you wrote the Dark Lord very well though, I had never given him much of a chance myself but he seemed very fleshed out here, I think that you kept a lot his foulness just right. Poor Lucius though! I'd never liked about him as a character but here he seems to real and human, I felt so sorry for him. Draco's life was spared but at such a terrible price! I lost my mind for a second there. Its such a great twist to Draco's life, I'm eager to see how it works out in later chapters. His parents will regret it later, I'm sure...

I'll most likely come back to this but if I don't, feel free to re-request. I didn't spot too many grammar things but maybe a word or two is missing from the third of paragraph? I thought the characters were written well, I would have liked a little more detail on Lucius's marriage and how he felt about Narcissa, maybe just a little background on their romance and relationship. Otherwise, I really liked it!

Now, as someone who hardly ever gets reviews, I understand your pain. I haven't gotten a review for some of my other stories in a year or two? Don't give up on your writing though and make sure that you promote them!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there!! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this. I have been SOO busy this summer... ^_^'

It's so nice to hear that people think Voldy is in character here now. OMGosh, for a few years, this chapter was so bad, lol! I was embarrassed to ask people to read it because everything was so... off. But then I edited it a few years ago and I am quite proud of how it has turned out now!! :)

Anyways, I am so glad you liked it tho!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read & review this for me. I really do hope that you will come back and read more. If not, I will be back to re-request, but not until I have the newly edited chapters posted. This story is getting a HUGE makeover right now, as you may have noticed. I am quite excited to relaunch this again!! =D


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Review #44, by adluvshp Draco's Introduction

12th July 2014:
So I really like this opening chapter of Draco giving an introduction to his story. The way you've written his thoughts, it's like you're in his head. You seem to understand him quite well, and I like your portrayal of him.
I found that bit amusing about there being a lot of books about Harry and none about the people who helped him. Draco's reaction to that is nicely written and I'm glad he took matters into his own hands and decided to write something about himself (or get it written).

The part about Lucius made me feel sorry for Draco. His relationship with his father was anything but simple and loving. I also liked the whole contemplation about the concept of love. The way you wrote it again expressed Draco's thoughts perfectly, as that's how I'd imagine him to think about such things.

Great start to the story!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

House Cup 2014 Review.

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Review #45, by ginnypotter242 Draco's Introduction

12th July 2014:
So, this was an interesting introduction. I'm interested to see where you're going with this story.

Draco does seem a little OOC in this, and I'm interested to see what has changed him. If I could recommend one thing, I'd say try to cut down on the amount of exclamation points. Even if Draco has changed quite a bit, it doesn't really fit in his voice, and many exclamation points in one chapter make it a little distracting and stops it from flowing as well.

This is an interesting idea, and your summary interested me. I really would like to see where this story goes, and how you write Draco and the rest of the characters. The war is over in this story right? Voldemort is dead and gone? I do like Draco's thoughts throughout this chapter, about love. It sets up the story very well, and makes me want to read more (because honestly, Draco and love is interesting). Nice job on this chapter! Looking forward to seeing where this story goes :)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for checking this out!! I am in the editing stages of this right now, so I will definately look back over this and fix all those exclamation points. Honesty, I forgot all about editing the Intro, lol. So I am very glad you mentioned that, thanks! :)

To answer your question; this story is AU, and it takes place two years after Dumbledore's death. The Trio is still out Hurcrux hunting, so Voldemort is NOT dead yet, and the war IS still going on. This Intro was just written from Draco's POV after everything is all said and done. Sorry for the confusion with that, lol. You will see at the beginning of chapter 1 where everyone stands at, and hopefully everything will make more sense by then! ^_^;

Thank you so much for checking this out hun, I appreciate it! I am looking SO forwards to hearing your thoughts on the rest of it as well. I'm off to bed right now, but I will be sure to check out your author page and swap back asap tomorrow when I get off work! I really, really hope that you like the rest if you do decide to keep reading. Thanks for the review, Sarah. Nice to meet you! =D


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Review #46, by Unicorn_Charm Draco's Introduction

12th July 2014:
Hi there! :)

Aww poor Draco. :( How horrible it must have been, growing up, for him. Never knowing love, always searching for approval, forever feeling inadequate. That was so sad to read. It was fantastic, but horribly sad.

I really enjoyed this opening chapter. I think the idea of making the first chapter in first person was brilliant. I loved how it gave some background and a small glimpse at what's to come. It definitely piqued my interest and will have me reading more, for sure. I would love to see what you have in store for Draco's side of the study!


Great job and I cannot wait to read more!

House Cup 2014 Review

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hey!! =D
I am so glad you liked the intro!! Thanks so much for stopping by to check this out, hun. I hope that you will continue to read more and see where everything goes!! I am excited to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story as well! :)

I reviewed your Remus One-Shot already, and I really liked it!! I would love to swap with ya again some time. Thanks again for taking the time to read & Review, I appreciate it!


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Review #47, by Lostmyheart Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

4th July 2014:
Hi!

I'm finally here to finish your requested review! I'm sooo sorry it took so long. I had exams, a lot of guests and a computer that broke down. But no matter, I'm here now :)

It was a very nice chapter, I really liked how you portrayed Lucius - like this concerned, and already loving father. But I don't really understand WHY Lord Voldemort wanted to kill his 'top-rank' death eaters newborn son? If Lucius is top-rank as you said, they wouldn't be treated so horribly by their Dark Lord. I also don't quite understand why Lucius feels that way about Draco maybe ending up loving the Dark Arts. If he willingly became a Death Eater, this wouldn't even be a problem... If you know what I mean.
But I do like the aspects of it - how Draco's parents are. It's kind of refreshing.
The story flow was very easy, and I liked how simple this chapter was and it showed that even as a newborn, Draco already had a lot of responsibilities to live up to, to grow up to. Poor Draco.

Normally I end my reviews by saying you can re-request, but I've decided to close my offered review thread - to lessen the burden of responsibilities from my shoulders.
I do hope you found my reviews helpful - though this one was rather short.

I enjoyed reading you story :)
- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Oh no, I'm sorry to hear about your computer! Hopefully it is fixed by now? Also, sorry for the delayed response to this. I keep getting new reviews, and every time I try to play catchup here, something always happens!!

I do see exactly where you are coming from there, and I actually can appreciate your opinions on that. This story is meant to be AU tho, so I apologize it that is a bit off-putting. My opinion of it all, I guess, is that Voldemort viewed the "baby" as a distraction. He is a jealous dark lord, and he does not want to have to share Lucius' time with anyone else. He expects the full, undivided attention out of his followers, at all times. While he does not mind them bringing another Pure Blood into the world, he feels that there is a time and a place for everything. And for them to have a baby, right in the middle of his plans to take over the world; that was not the right time, lol. The Malfoy's had discussed it with him prior to their wedding, and he had forbade them from trying as he did not want Lucius distracted. As it was, however, they were not particularity careful and Narcissa got pregnant with Draco anyways. So I wrote Voldemort here as being angry with them for defying his orders and having a "distraction" anyways... I hope that this explanation helps clear things up some at least. Sorry if it wasn't all that clear in the chapter. I am in the middle or rewriting this right now anyways, so I will most certainly keep this in mind when I redo the prologue again, thanks so much for your input!

Sorry you had to close your review thread tho. It sucks when RL gets in the way of things, lol. Please do let me know if you ever open it back up again tho, as I would love to get your opinions on the first actual chapters of the story now too! It wasn't too short at all, lol. I have enjoyed your feedback, and I appreciate you taking the time to read & review this for me. Thanks so much, and good luck with your computer!! (:


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Review #48, by MrsJaydeMalfoy |Chapter 34| Freedom Always Comes at A Price

24th June 2014:
YUS! First review!! :P

I have so many different, mixed feelings about this chapter. First off, it makes me really anxious for the next one! Haha! :P It's very suspenseful and I'm very curious to see what will happen with Roxi/McGonagall, Roxi/Draco, Saleena/Draco/Roxi, and Roxi/everyone... haha!

But there's also a part of me that's really thrilled that Roxi is back. Because that means she's closer to Draco (although with the situation being what it is right now, I'm pretty sure they won't be together anytime soon...( :(

However, I know Roxi is going to fall to pieces when she finds out Draco is alive... I'm really waiting to see that reaction, and wondering how that will play out.

I felt really proud in this chapter, too, of how Molly and Saleena stood up to Arthur... Girl power! haha! :P I also felt worried for Draco and his legs, but glad to see he was making some progress.

I felt so sorry for Roxi, though. She really has been through so much, and I have a feeling that, unfortunately, there's more to come. I thought the change in her hair and eye color was an excellent touch to show just how much she has suffered, and how emotionally torn she is right now.

I know we've already seen some mixed reactions to her appearance, but I'm really curious about what the other Order members will say when they find out.

And, as always, this was an EXCELLENT chapter, my dear! I can't wait for the next!! ♥

Author's Response: Yes, first review... and probably the only review for a while, haha!! Thanks to all the new edits and such, I imagine it'll be a while before anyone new actually gets to read up to this particular point in the story... All that aside tho, Jayde, I absolutely LOVE your enthusiasm!! I've said it before and I'll say it again; you & Michael are the only reasons that I even came back to this, lol. I love you so much, hun. Really I do!! =D

Yeah, Roxi & Draco still have a ways to go before they can get back together. I am still working all of that out tho, but hopefully it'll happen again within the next few chapter or so. There will be more fighting tho, unfortunately, before this happens, so be prepared. ;)

Saleena is the ONLY person who knows the full extent of what all happened to Roxi while she was with Greyback, and even she does not have the full story. Right now, I believe she may mention it briefly to Minerva, and then Roxi herself alludes to it during one of her spats with Draco. Either that, or Saleena accidentally tells him. Either way, Draco ends up finding out and getting extremely PO'd at Greyback. The feeling that he gets, telling him that he has to protect her, ends up returning and, well, now I'm just giving away too much, hehe!! XD

I for one am curious to see your reaction to Roxi's conversation(s) with everyone also. As of right now tho, the only people she is speaking to are Molly, Arthur, Saleena & McGonagall. Idk if she will see Draco in the next chapter, or the chapter after yet. As you know, I am trying to cut back my chapter lengths a bit, so we shall just have to see when they meet again. I am currently writing the scene where they tell her that Draco IS still alive tho, and I am quite enjoying writing that particular part right now!! Again, I cant wait for you to read it! (:

Thanks again so much for your continued support over the years, hun. Words cannot even begin to express how much your dedication and general love of this story has meant to me. (((HUGS))) I love you, Jayde!! =)


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Review #49, by MrsJaydeMalfoy |Chapter 33: A Logical, Medical Explination|

24th June 2014:
Soo, I was on my way to review the newest chapter, but something told me to stop by this one first, and... *Stares at chapter's reviews* o.O ?? How did I manage to NOT leave a review for this chapter?? :O I have no idea what happened but I feel absolutely horrible now! But, I'm here now... hopefully this review will make up for its tardiness!

I really loved the interactions between Saleena and Kireonna in this chapter, and of course I was thrilled to find out that there was a counter-curse for Draco's legs, but also horrified to discover that it caused him so much pain! It was very selfless of Kireonna to take the pain for him, though, and I think that really shows a progression in the interactions between the two of them as well.

I am still very curious to see what will happen with Saleena and the 'Queen' business, as well as how all of that will play into the rest of the story. Honestly, dear, I know you have one-shots about Saleena, but I really think you could turn her story into a whole other novel. :P

Great chapter, dear, (even if I am saying this wayyy late), and now I'm off to review the newest!! ♥

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Review #50, by Lostmyheart Draco's Introduction

14th June 2014:
Hi there :)

I'm here for your requested review. I know you said that I should just review the prologue insted of this, but since I can't really focus on one thing at a time, I decided to review this and then read the prologue later, when I can.
I hope it's okay for you which it probably will be - because you get two reviews instead of one! :)

First of all, I liked this chapter - it was a great start to your story, where we get to see how Draco is, what he has been through and what he feels about certain things.
One of the things I noticed was how he asked why people didn't see that he wasn't like his father, and then afterwards explain that no one knew what was really happening beind the curtains, that people didn't know the real Lucius Malfoy. I'm not sure if you intended to write it like that, but if people don't know the real Lucius, they wouldn't be able to see that Draco wasn't like him. I may have misunderstood it, but that's what confused me a little :)
Another thing is that the Death Eaters didn't call Voldemort for Voldemort, at least that's what I remember from the books. They only called him the Dark Lord and other similar 'royal' names. But since it's Draco who said Voldemort, and he didn't seem to worship him like his parents (or mostly his father) I guess it makes sense for him to call him that :) Unless Lucius brainwahsed him to call him the Dark Lord - which would also make sense.

You're an exceptional writer, and everything was a joy to read. The story flow was nice and easy. And this chapter gave a good impression of who Draco is :)

I'll get to your prologue when I can :)
- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Hey there!! Sorry it has taken me a few days to get back to you on this. I've been over on the forums a lot for the House Cup, but totally forgot to checkup on my stories, lol!! ^_^'

But yeah, you are my 1st Reviewer for this story in like a YEAR, lol!! Do you even understand how much I love you right now? ;)

Sorry if it seemed a tad confusing. This intro is in Draco's POV after the events of the story have taken place. I guess I should probly clarify that somewhere, huh? I am actually about to undergo some serious revision on this story soon tho, so I will definitely keep that in mind when I do start going back over everything. Thanks for pointing that out! It's good to have a fresh pair of eyes on this, especially since I haven't been able to update and work on it in over a year, due to college.

& I think once you get into the story a bit more, you will understand why Draco does not call Voldemort "The Dark Lord" anymore. Again, this is future-Draco talking, if that makes sense. You're actually pretty close with the whole "Lucius Brain-washing Draco" comment, lol! Once you read the prologue tho, I think a lot more things will start to come together... I can't wait to hear your thoughts on that one as well!! Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to do this for me, I truly do appreciate you!! =)


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