Reading Reviews for Victory
  
47 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Toujours Padfoot I sense you.

5th July 2011:
Hattie!

I have come hither to taste the victory on the winds. This story has a poetic feel to it, and I love your imagery and diction. It's incredible. I KNEW I WOULD ADMIRE YOUR WRITING AND I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED.

-continues onward-

Author's Response: Sarah!

I am glad you have hithered. Thank you so much fo yo luvlih commentz! You are a babe.

-blushes profusely-


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Review #27, by justonemorefic I've found you.

11th June 2011:
Oh Hattie, you and rain.

MIND REELING. Something told me briefly as he was swimming that he was heading toward a prison. And then I was like -gasp- SHE REALLY DID MURDER HIM. I thought it was all metaphorical murders, but I didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong.

I'm not very good at interpreting things D; I still don't know what to think of Victoire now. But I think you definitely did a great job painting a tortured Teddy, one pushed to the border between creature and man.

♥ congrats on the finish! 8D

Author's Response: Precipitation and I, yes. We have a most wonderful relationship.

Metaphorical vs. reality. Metaphorical deaths are always fun - lots of burning souls and longing looks and over-pretentious grasping onto someone as the breath leaves them. But real deaths are more fun. I love my body counts and this story has... three, I think. Maybe more. Victoire might have gone cray cray elsewhere.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Ily, Gina. ♥


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Review #28, by iheartzuko I've found you.

11th June 2011:
I call out to the darkness. It is a low, mournful sound but I am not crying.

I like how that line kept coming back in the story.

This was a 1000/10. I loved the whole thing < 3

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #29, by iheartzuko I love you.

11th June 2011:
I still admire how you can do this with so little dialogue and so much...thought.

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #30, by iheartzuko You have me.

11th June 2011:
I really adore the fact that you make the "you" the subject of this story, almost as if he's writing a letter to her. Not many writers can pull that off well, and actually stick with it (it's tricky to write well) but you did and continue to.

-awed-

10/10

Author's Response: It is so tricky to write. Syntax and tenses and other stuff all get messed up - it's a great challenge though, I really enjoyed it.

Thanks!


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Review #31, by iheartzuko I sense you.

11th June 2011:
This is utterly fantastic. I have no idea how you managed to pull this off, with no dialogue and a relatively low (I'm so not criticizing this, I never have a lot of words) work count, but somehow you did and its amazing.

10/10

Author's Response: I wouldn't be able to write in this style for too long. It's too simple for that. And dialogue can sometimes ruin things, so I kept it considerably low key. A lot of the spoken lines are actually quite cliche, but I think it works - especially when she dumps him.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #32, by justonemorefic You were wrong.

5th June 2011:
Well, at first I thought it was Dom, but I'm not sure, since she mentioned wanting to know about Victoire, unless she meant knowing her involvement with Teddy. But that's actually quite interesting, the way Teddy describes her in terms of Victoire. Every step of the way, you remind us of his obsession.

And oooh I just adore that description when he reaches the cliffs. The man and the umbrella, the falling angels -- whenever you mention blood, I imagine this porcelain Victoire with a drop of blood at the corner of her lips, but I can't ever see her eyes.

AHH HE JUMPS D: WAIT WHAT. WHAT. WHAT NOW. IS THAT... HOME? I'm a terrible reader/analyst, sorry xD I'll wait for the next (last?) chapter for answers rather than breaking my brain.



Author's Response: Gina!

I was thinking about writing Teddy with Dom, or even Rose - vom, vom, potentially normal Rose who elicits sympathy - but I ended up with Anonymous Woman. The perfect troll on Formspring. And yeah, he's pretty obsessed with Victoire.

AH. HA HA. Mwa ha ha ha. You'll find out soon, I hope, if the validators work their wonders. It'll all be clear. Maybe. Or just ambiguous and that. Flowery.



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Review #33, by justonemorefic I'll miss you.

20th May 2011:
YOU FROGGY NON-12+, VICTOIRE. I just hate her so much but then Teddy GRR, I HATE THAT YOU STILL LOVE HER EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW ALL THIS. Especially at this line: "If you loved me, you'd understand." GAH. SO MUCH HATE FOR VICTOIRE

This is so unhealthy. D: Hattie, you're messing with my mind.

And I'll never look at lipstick the same way ever again. -shudder- Those were my favorite lines. Blood lipstick, evil evil things.

Author's Response: Yeah, she's cow. A froggy non-12+ cow. I loved writing the break-up scene, because it's when Teddy finally realises this - even though he is still infatuated and obsessed by her - and gets angreh and goes on his little run to find her.

Their relationship is unhealthy, and as for your mind... well...

LIPPEH STICK. Glad you liked it.

Love ♥


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Review #34, by Demonaz I'll miss you.

18th May 2011:
Intense.

I never imagined Victorie as the tortured, conflicted woman. Maybe she can be portrayed as, I don't know, full of life and happiness ?

Completely feel Teddy's emotions, though. I'd like for you to delve more into why is he so indecisive about her.

Good story.

Author's Response: Oh hey Demonaz.

Yeah, I though it would be a little bit different. A lot of fics out there portray Victoire as someone who is full of life and happiness, so I thought I'd mixed it up a bit. So no, she's not going to be portrayed as that. It wouldn't fit with the story/feel I'm going for.

Continue reading and you'll find out!

Thanks!


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Review #35, by Jane_Volturi I love you.

14th May 2011:
Hattie! You're killing me here! WHY CAN I NOT WRITE LIKE YOU???
I literally read again this out loud from start to finish just so that I could fully appreciate how amazing your writing is. And it was practically pouring with emotion, I'm dying to get to grips with the story behind all of this angst. WHAT DID SHE DO TO MAKE HIM LIKE THIS? Gah, it's driving me crazy lol! There's obviously something going on in her head that Teddy can't seem to decipher by the looks of things. I like the underlying theme of mystery that runs through this, it coexists with your writing style so very well.
What can I say - by now I'd be offering constructive critisism if I was reviewing somebody else's work, but once again you've produced another faultless chapter. I'm desperate to have some of these questions answered though, be sure to stop by my profile and leave a comment to let me know when the next chapter of this story is up, just incase I miss the update.
It's been so much fun reading and reviewing this story. Loved it! Already favourited!

- Katie -

Author's Response: *Blushes profusely* Thank you so much, Katie! You give me such an ego-boosy!

Victoire is a bit crazaaay. She's obsessed with her own and other's immortality - hence the obsession with killing herself and others. She thinks she is an angel. She looks like one, Teddy treats her like one. She obviously doesn't fit anywhere on earth because of her psychopathic tendencies. She is incapable of love, but does love Teddy. She talks about him as if he is merely her companion, someone to keep her company.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story... I will definitely comment and things, seeing as the story is now -finished- (I am taking forever to respond to my review!).

Thanks again! ♥


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Review #36, by Jane_Volturi You have me.

14th May 2011:
Hey Hattie! It's Katie here with another review for you.

Argh! Just spent twenty-five minutes writing a review for this chapter, only to find that when you press the 'backspace' key on your laptop, and you haven't clicked on the review box, you lose all of your work. Anyway, never mind that (I'll just have to copy my work every minute or so), on with the review!
All I can say is wow! Just wow! It's literally the only word that I can muster up right now that comes even close to describing how awe-inspiring and faultless this chapter was. I know I must be sounding like a broken record to you by now but your writing style is simply fantastic! Pure poetry! Oh, and your descriptions were beautiful; you painted clear, coulourful pictures in my head, I felt like I was there, seeing everything that Teddy was seeing, feeling everything that he was feeling. Just out of curiosity, what literature do you read? Honestly, if there are authors or poets out there that you are learning these amazing writing techniques from, then I'm heading down to the book store first thing tommorow and spending my week's wages on them - that's how much I want your talent! I am literally going to steal your talent lol!
I really like the story so far. Again, it was quite ambiguous with a multitude of unexplained answers left teetering around the edges of the plot, but personally I think that it contributes so much to the overall impact of the story. I really want to know what Victoire has done to make Teddy feel this way. I like your portrayal of her; she seems colder and more insensitive than I'm used to her being in other stories, but I personally think that it makes for a nice change and really fits in with the mood of the story. I find it interesting that she wants to be ugly; you don't often see that with her character - she's usually so very vain and secure wherever her looks are concerned - but yeah, again, it makes for a nice change.
I have no critisisms to offer you (which is again, very frustrating for me). Another flawless chapter. I can't wait to see how you develop this.

- Katie -

Author's Response: Hi Katie!

Curse you, backspace scum! I hate it when that happens, especially when you spent so long on it! I once wrote a massive review - about 600 words - and that happen. Pretty sure I cried and ended up just writing 'well done, that was awesome. Update soon!'. The author never knew what they could have been in for.

Again, thank you so much for your lovely comments. They really do make my day. Descriptions are the bane of existence - whether there's too much so people get dragged down by one too many descriptions of someone's dress, whether there's too little so people have no clue what is going on, whether I'm describing the -right- thing (particularly important in Dominique for clues and that). Especially with this style, you need to get the balance right; it's very simple, very condensed in some places, and sometimes I just find myself describing the colour of Victoire's lips or the paleness of her skin or the moonlight and the shadows. Emotions are more difficult, more complex.

Which books do I read? Just the classics. The Great Gatsby, Room With A View, a bit of Ian McEwan and Cormac McCarthy, A Clockwork Orange, Brighton Rock... stuff like that.

Victoire is a bit crazaaay. She's obsessed with her own and other's immortality - hence the obsession with killing herself and others. She thinks she is an angel. She looks like one, Teddy treats her like one. She obviously doesn't fit anywhere on earth because of her psychopathic tendencies. She is incapable of love, but does love Teddy. She talks about him as if he is merely her companion, someone to keep her company.

Thanks for another wonderful review!

Hattie


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Review #37, by Jane_Volturi I sense you.

14th May 2011:
Hi Hattie

It's Katie/JaneTwilight from the forums here with your well-deserved SOTM reviews. I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get to you. I haven't had a decent enough length of time to spare in which I could sit down and read and review your work (I always take half an hour to write just one review) and I've been so busy on the forums with other responisbilities that it's just been impossible to get here. Whilst scrolling along your author's page, I spotted this particular story which consists of my favourite ship of all time! Even more so, I absolutely love the Next Generation era (very rarely read anything else on the archives). Anyway, enough with the rambling. On with the review!
The good news is, this was FANTASTIC! And the bad news is - I couldn't fault this chapter (bad for me anyway, because I'm usually quick to pick up on any poor points apparent in a person's work - you've made me doubt my ability lol).
In all honesty, I don't think I've read a story so refreshingly well-written in a long time. When reading your work in the past, I've tended to notice that you have a delightfully unique writing style. Your colourful and vivid use of description is almost poetic and definitely something that I am in awe of. I wish that I had the talent and ability
to comprise my own writing with so many metaphors, similes, beautiful cases of imagery and personifications that flow with the writing as effortless as yours do. This is the main reason why I nominated your story 'Dominique' for the SOTM's best written - it just stood out to me - not only amongst all of the other 'claw stories that I have read in the past, but also amongst every story that I've ever read on the archives (either I have a knack for stumbling across stories with extremely bad authors, or otherwise you are an exceptionally talented writer!)
I happen to be very fond of your portrayal of Teddy in this piece. Usually, when I've come across his character in other stories people tend to depict him as this golden replica of his father; sweet. brave and mature for his age. It's very rare that I have ever witnessed an author focus more on his animalistic traits that come with him being part-werewolf than the traits he has happened to inherit from Remus. I have to thank you for that - it's always such a refreshing experience to see people approaching characters from much more original and realistic angles.
Apart from the above, I don't really see any more aspects of this chapter that I could comment on. What with it being a prologue of sorts, everything at the moment seems to be rather quiet and ambiguous. All I can say is that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this; it was a truly flawless piece of work.

- Katie -

Author's Response: Hi Katie!

No worries about it. We all get very busy, obviously, and that's why I have taken so long to respond to these lovely, lovely reviews. Sorry. Poor effort by me. Thanks for taking the time to do this - I really love 'Victory' because it's different to anything I've ever done, so I'd love some feedback. I had massive qualms about posting it, actually, because TedVic is such a -fluffy- ship. Victoire is always pregnant or in some unrequited love thing with Teddy, but what she does not know is that he loves her back. There's sunshine and unicorns and everyone is happy. This is different. Yeah, it's TedVic, but it's very dark and Teddy's a hunter and Victoire's a crazy pray. Thank you so much for your lovely comments! They give me so much confidence and make my blush and everything. And I'm sure your ability to give constructive criticism is not diminished. :P

Like I said before, this story is completely different to anything I have ever done. It's more poetic - it is so ambiguous. Sorry about that! I love ambiguity, so I thought I'd go a bit mental with it. No names. No nothing. Just excess amounts of flowery language and annoyingly pretentious choppy sentences and Roman numerals and repeated, italicised sections. Heh, apparently you like it. You mention 'Dominique' - a murder mystery that is very heavily focused on plot. Usually I focus more on the plot and, even though I think it's important that the story is well written, writing style usually takes second place. I wanted to try something different. In this story, the plot and writing are so closely interwoven, because I wanted to make Teddy's narration as realistic as possible. It's a lot short, choppy sentences because the rhythm flows wells with the way he's running, and he's obvo thinking of Victoire, so there's some flashbacks/memories thrown in as well.

Victoire is a bit crazaaay. She's obsessed with her own and other's immortality - hence the obsession with killing herself and others. She thinks she is an angel. She looks like one, Teddy treats her like one. She obviously doesn't fit anywhere on earth. And yes, I love writing in second person - it's so hard with the tenses and the feel, but it's great fun.They are both monsters. Victoire has Veela blood in her, as well as her father having some werewolf symptoms. In short, they are both monsters. His is more instinctive - the werewolf cannot control his own actions like when he is in his human form - whereas Victoire is much more a praying mantis/black widow sort of a girl. Vicious, manipulative. A cow. I think that's why they clung to each other, in a way.

Thanks for the wonderful review!


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Review #38, by justonemorefic I love you.

10th May 2011:
:O I am so confused in a good way.

"It is a shame that you killed him first." Metaphorically, I'd imagine... I think. But the rotting corpse too *___* It makes me feel so morbid to be so drawn to their relationship to know what happened and what's happening now. And your PoV makes me feel like I'm some sort of accomplice, which I think lends a nice effect!

Victoire really is unearthly. The way she speaks and holds herself, it does feel like someone who isn't meant to last. And the very last bit -- "For a second - before you press your lips to mine - I think I can hear the sound of bones breaking." Big shudder.

Your angst ♥

Author's Response: Mwahaha, AMBIGUITY STRIKES!

Yes -ahem- metaphorically. Not at all true. Victoire is a bit crazaaay. She's obsessed with her own and other's immortality - hence the obsession with killing herself and others. She thinks she is an angel. She looks like one, Teddy treats her like one. She obviously doesn't fit anywhere on earth. And yes, I love writing in second person - it's so hard with the tenses and the feel, but it's great fun.

She mental, that one.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, glad you like my angst. ♥


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Review #39, by justonemorefic You have me.

10th May 2011:
Oh my god Hattie howww are you so glorious? The words. The -words-. I love how you use her lips throughout this chapter. That particular moment with her birthday especially.

And that talk about their fathers, I can't even begin to describe how wonderful that whole scene is. Their words feel like dialogue but the accompanying descriptions make it feel like poetry at the same time.

"Your words are jumbled, conceited, overwhelming incomprehensible that I always have to decipher you through your movements, through the slight flicker of your eyes or the way you kiss me."

and

"You define nature, not refine it."

Sooo much love.

But you definitely set up this sort of eerie mood and then it actually becomes unsettling. Those last paragraphs -shudder- I love this trade of imagery, the prey/predator sides to Teddy. I still don't know what or who to believe.

Many ♥

Author's Response: Oh, Gina, Gina, Gina... thank you so much!

She lovin' on dem lips. I have athing for writing about red lips against white skin, I don't know why. It's so old-fashioned, in a way, but the red against the white is purrrdy.

Dialogue can sometimes ruin things, so I kept it considerably low key. A lot of the spoken lines are actually quite simple and sometimes cliche, but I think it works - especially when she dumps him. I had to restrain myself to not put in 'it's not you, it's me'.

Glad you like those quotes!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! ♥


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Review #40, by LoopyLemon I sense you.

10th May 2011:
Wow. This is good! A little hard to follow at times but still really good! I like the way you describe things and the short, sharp sentances you use. Good job!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D GO BRONZE

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Review #41, by justonemorefic I sense you.

5th May 2011:
Eeep! Hattie, what lovely words you use. I'm terrified already.

God, this relationship feels so unhealthy in both ways but captivating all the same, because I can feel the emotion running through him. Victoire being this beautiful girl who seems to always get what she wants but then also, Teddy seems like a bit of an unreliable narrator.

I love love how you did the transformation. The fact that you wrote him running down the streets for so long and I didn't even notice! I saw all the streetlamps-fog-black-and-white sort of stuff one typically sees ;D

"That was a little white lie." THIS is the line that gave me chills. I was like ooo he is so out for something, but in a shuddery-GAH-WHAT'S-HE-COMING-FOR way. And then of course, everything after it that just adds onto the OMG.

♥ Lovely lovely, but you know I'd expect no less from you.

Author's Response: OH HAIII GINA! ♥

Well, you know me. I have a thing for rain and body counts and angst in immeasurable quantities.

They are both monsters. Victoire has Veela blood in her, as well as her father having some werewolf symptoms. In short, they are both monsters. His is more instinctive - the werewolf cannot control his own actions like when he is in his human form - whereas Victoire is much more a praying mantis/black widow sort of a girl. Vicious, manipulative. A cow. I think that's why they clung to each other, in a way.

Glad you liked it, Ginaaa ♥


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Review #42, by silverstarletworld89 You have me.

4th May 2011:
Why are you doing this to me?!?! I don't understand, what did Victorie do? Why is she so mean 'And you did. Tossed me aside when I fulfilled my purpose.' I need answers my friend!!!
(I am adding this to my favourites and I really want to see how this plays out and so I FINALLY GET SOME ANSWERS!! ok, I am calm lol =p)

Once again like your first chapter, the descriptions/characteristics of Teddy are wonderful, I really do feel for him. Btw am I supposed to like Victorie by any chance? Because I don't lol, she seems heartless.


“What do you want to be?”

“Ugly,”

Enough said.

You have give us a deeper glimpse into their relationship, but it still isn't enough for me I am afraid I need more!! So I can fully understand the dynamics. So Teddy is on his way to turn Victorie into a werewolf because she is a cow? Am I on the right track? Gah I am so confused but I LOVE this story, it is soo different and unique. And it is weird because at this moment they both seem to me like monsters. The way you have characterised them both (to me) Victorie being an evil so-an-so and the way you have portrayed Teddy it's like he is going after blood (I don't know if any of that made sense you to but erm yeah =D)

GREAT STORY!! And I look forward for more
Silverstarletworld

Author's Response:
Aahaha, sorry about that! I love ambiguity, so I thought I'd go a bit mental with it. No names. No nothing. Just excess amounts of flowery language and annoyingly pretentious choppy sentences and Roman numerals and repeated, italicised sections. Heh, apparently you like it.

Those quotes are some of my favourites, too. :P

I wanted to play with lycanthropy, if you can. Lupin was scared in DH that he might pass the condition onto Teddy, so I played around with that. Victoire has Veela blood in her, as well as her father having some werewolf symptoms. In short, they are both monsters. His is more instinctive - the werewolf cannot control his own actions like when he is in his human form - whereas Victoire is much more a praying mantis/black widow sort of a girl. Vicious, manipulative. A cow.

Thanks so much for your lovely comments and for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #43, by NaidatheRavenclaw I sense you.

30th April 2011:
That. Was. Amazing. The mystery to it! I loved it! I'm honestly speechless right now. It was just incredible. The writing you did was so descriptive. You didn't tell me a story: you showed it to me. You painted a picture in my mind with words. It's honestly as good as some published novels I've read. What was amazing to me, was that this wasn't a very long chapter. It was precise, and to the point, yet it gave me just as much background information as a 6000 word first chapter, and it gave it to me well. I am so intruiged by this plot. I can't believe I've never read one of your stories, because this was just excellent. You have a talent.
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely, lovely comments. I was really worried about posting this story: it's so completely different from anything I've ever written. Usually I focus more on the plot and, even though I think it's important that the story is well written, writing style usually takes second place. I wanted to try something different. In this story, the plot and writing are so closely interwoven, because I wanted to make Teddy's narration as realistic as possible. It's a lot short, choppy sentences because the rhythm flows wells with the way he's running, and he's obvo thinking of Victoire, so there's some flashbacks/memories thrown in as well.

Really, thank you so much. You made my day.


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Review #44, by silverstarletworld89 I sense you.

23rd April 2011:
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE IT THERE!?!!? (this is what I was shouting to myself!) It is like when one of your favourite programmes leave you with an epic cliffhanger and then they say 'tune in next week'. I can't wait until next week, I need to know what happens, I am so INTRIGUED!!!

The flow of your words and the descriptions that you used to described Teddy were absolutely flawless. I could really sense his pain and anguish. Also I am so curious about Victorie and how her and Teddy's relationship works. This story seems to have gone a very different way from the usual Teddy/Victorie stories, which I LOVE!! So I am very interested of how things are going to come into play.

I enjoyed how you showed us Teddy's transformation as well as told us, I think it made this story even more powerful. Also these lines really stuck out to me.

'I was your pet.

You will look like me too, soon, I hope. You will be beautiful.'

It made me stop and think, and wonder what Teddy is planning to do. Overall is was a fabulous story!! And even though, I wished that you carried on with more because I can't handle cliffhangers, It was the perfect place to end this chapter.

Brilliant,
Silverstarletworld =)

Author's Response: SSW89

Haha, I suppose it is a bit of a cliffhanger. The next chapter is in the queue, so do not fear about knowing what happens next - actually you don't find out about that in the next chapter, I'm just teasing... it's all very ambiguous and flowery and that. You don't really find out ever.

And now I'm not making sense.

You're too kind. No really, far far too kind. I was a little scared about posting this. It's very different to everything I've ever written: the writing and the plot are so closely intertwined that I felt huge pressure about word choice, sentence structure, even formatting and paragraphs. It's very dark, and Teddy's a bit crazy, so I wanted my writing to reflect that. It is very different to all the fluffy TedVics out there.

I'm glad you like those lines! I thought 'I was your pet' was bit too childish, too simple, so I'm really happy you thought it was effective.

The other one is a little clue to what happens at the end!

Thanks so much for your kind comments and for reading and reviewing!


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Review #45, by maskedmuggle I sense you.

22nd April 2011:
Hello :)

Wow. This story is just amazing! Honestly, I think that the way you've written it is completely, just wow. The words, and sentences you used… really created a intriguing plot and character and has made me especially curious to find out what your next chapter is going to bring!

I loved how there's some mystery throughout the whole chapter. I have to say this is a really unique story, and I haven't yet read one quite like this.

Really well written story, utterly engaging, and I hope to see the next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Hello back :)

Thank you so much for your kind comments! I was really worried about posting this story: it's so completely different from anything I've ever written. Usually I focus more on the plot and, even though I think it's important that the story is well written, writing style usually takes second place. I wanted to try something different. In this story, the plot and writing are so closely interwoven, because I wanted to make Teddy's narration as realistic as possible. It's a lot short, choppy sentences because the rhythm flows wells with the way he's running, and he's obvo thinking of Victoire, so there's some flashbacks/memories thrown in as well.

Yes! There's lots of mystery... and lots of ambiguity. A little too much, I think!

Thanks for your review!


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Review #46, by long_live_luna_bellatrix I sense you.

22nd April 2011:
Holy cow! What a story!

I feel that a lot of people here on hpff have this way with words, this smooth talent, and they step back and let that do all the talking. But here, your plot complements your eloquence, and leaves me gaping. By the end I was actually silently cheering, because this was so unbelievably different and Teddy was such an interesting character and I couldn't quite tell who I was cheering for, him or you. Probably both. His cool words and burning hunger had me falling for him the same way I fell for Bellatrix Lestrange.

This could have stood on its own, as a one shot, and been perfect. The fact that you're taking it a step forward is fantastic, because you've already captured me and I can't imagine what's coming next. Well, I can, but I'd like to meet Victoire first.

I've seen all sorts of Teddy Lupins, some werewolf, some not, some half and half as you've portrayed him here. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but since Teddy is the first of his kind that we've met, I'm open to anything written well. He's sort of like Bill, which makes sense, I suppose. But all that uncertainty can be overlooked when you get at his motives. What a chilling, chilling idea! What a great one!

I think I've rambled on more than enough, now. However, I do remember loving two lines in particular... Let's see...

"For a moment, I am in pain. I revel in the fact that it is not caused by you."

"My breath is quick, ragged and disgustingly human."

Those two were just, wow. So revealing. So well done, even in their simplicity. Sort of summed up how I felt about the entire chapter. ;)

Author's Response: Holy cow! LLLB! One of my favourite authors!

Thank you so much for your kind comments! I was really worried about posting this story: it's so completely different from anything I've ever written. Usually I focus more on the plot and, even though I think it's important that the story is well written, writing style usually takes second place. I wanted to try something different. In this story, the plot and writing are so closely interwoven, because I wanted to make Teddy's narration as realistic as possible. It's a lot short, choppy sentences because the rhythm flows wells with the way he's running, and he's obvo thinking of Victoire, so there's some flashbacks/memories thrown in as well.

I can't really write one-shots anyway, so it had to be a short story. I have a thing for plot, and I always think that one-shot can't possibly contain enough substance. The one-shots I used to write were 700 words long and were internal monologues, which I thought were far too angsty and boring for anyone to read. I think it is important to mix up the action, the description, the dialogue - even memories and flashback. One long chapter full of backstory and internal monologue can really put readers off, I think.

And Victoire's a bitch.

I wanted to play with lycanthropy, if you can. Lupin was scared in DH that he might pass the condition onto Teddy, so I played around with that. Victoire has Veela blood in her, as well as her father having some werewolf symptoms. In short, they are both monsters. His is more instinctive - the werewolf cannot control his own actions like when he is in his human form - whereas Victoire is much more a praying mantis/black widow sort of a girl. Vicious, manipulative. A cow.

Glad you liked those quotes. They are favourites too. Thank you so much for the review, you really made my day, and I apologise for taking so long to respond to this.


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Review #47, by Snapdragons I sense you.

18th April 2011:
Wow. This was a fascinating, beautiful, and slightly terrifying look at Teddy. A lot of times we see the werewolf nature of him pushed to the side and forgotten, but his father was full werewolf, and it's not a stretch of the imagination to assume that Teddy will have many of the same characteristics too.

Teddy and Victoire seem to come from very different worlds here. "I hated you then, for a moment, before you smiled at me." Victoire is surrounded by family and love, and it seems that Teddy feels much more like an outsider.

Your word choice is skilled and masterfully used to create a haunting setting that gave me chills. The dark, star-ridden night washing over them, clouds rolling dangerously overhead, the embrace of the concrete. It's all done so well and really creates the mood of the piece.

It is a bit frightening - I think everything is, really, when dealing with a narrator who's a bit out of control. But still, I found Teddy not only intriguing but compelling to read about and couldn't help but feel a little scared for Victoire.

A beautiful one-shot. Congratulations - you did a fantastic job! :)

Author's Response: I really wanted to write something completely different. All my other stories are very plot-based, and the way I write them are very uniform. This however, is very new. Very angsty, very flowery, very ambiguous.

I like werewolves. I originality wanted to write the fic about Remus and Tonks, but I never thought that Tonks would be able to possess the cold quality that Victoire had that would cause Teddy to be in love/fight for her. And Teddy is an orphan, and an outsider. Half werewolf.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! They really make me want to write. I have actually managed to finish this story due to inspiration from the lovely reviews I get. ♥ I love to try something different.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It made my day!


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