Reading Reviews for The Dark of Night
  
68 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Toujours Padfoot III

4th September 2011:
Elodie's mother's smile was now creeping up around her ears and looked like she was out to eat children.
- This line made me laugh. :D

She pulled it off, instead sliding it onto her ring finger and admiring it in the weak autumn sunlight. She would look good engaged.
- This was a pretty image. I can't help but to ship Scorpodie fervently. Even if they might be wrong for each other. Even if their relationship is broken. I can't help it.

Now I'm very intrigued about Albus's emergence in the story. What's he going to add to the mix? LOVE AFFAIR WITH ELODIE? Maybe he's a vigilante and he kidnapped and killed Draco? Maybe he's going to uncover an enormous Ministry plot to kill all the former Death Eaters? Maybe Scorpius is a psycho and he's going to kill poor Albus?

SO MANY THEORIES.

I like Albus's character, and how he seems invisible next to him attention-seeking siblings. I especially adore that the only person he seemed to identify with in his family was Arthur (much love for Arthur ♥ ), and now Arthur is dead and Albus is feeling kind of lonely. He's one of those people who doesn't seem to need others to rely on for company - he's satisfied with reading books. And I like that he has this small aura of arrogance about him - his distaste for Lily and James, for the Ministry car tradition, for everyone shouting and for everyone else around him in general - in a small way, he seems to think himself superior to them. From the sound of things, he might have good reason to. I love him already.

I can't wait to see where this goes.

I wub your skillz. Give dem 2 me rite now.



Author's Response: SAZ U BAK. YAY. WUB OOO.

Scorpodie! Again! Elpius, Scordie, Elopius, surely. Just reminds me of peas and that. :D Yes, their relationship is broken, yes, it's in tattahz, but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. They were very much in love before the whole rejected proposal thing, so it's all very complicated. Keep reading and you'll find out more things that complicate it even further.

ALBUS! I WUB HIM! He's my favourite to write, I think. He's so still and observant and a little stalkerish. He's the most subdued, but the most interesting, I feel. All those things are a possibility, obviously, especially the vigilant one and the Ministry plot one. No one knows why he was picked as a Slytherin in the first place... ?? CONTROVERSY!

His siblings are very... annoying (searches for 12+ word that is appropriate). They're spoilt, they're petulant, they're pretty disgusting. Lily is your classic princess - pampered and babied, and James is more cool and cocky and very irritating. He can't relate to his parents because they don't know anything is wrong. His siblings bully him. He has no friends. His loneliness and isolation (which make him fun to write, no matter how much pity I feel for him) was definitely secured when Arthur died. His only connection to the Weasley/Potter fam was with Arthur - the reason he went back for holidays, why he went to dinners and gatherings, why didn't run away. Arthur's books are now all he has left of him. It's sad and weepy.

That's a good idea - I wasn't going for it, but now you've mentioned it, it really works. He thinks himself superior, but not overly so, not so much that he would tell people or judge people. He can't do that to anyone, mainly because he doesn't know anyone, but because he doesn't have the voice and they could judge for so many things in return.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your lovely review. You're awzum and all that. ♥


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Review #27, by fauxthefox I

3rd September 2011:
This is fauxthefox from the forums with your requested review!

I love the atmosphere you've built up from here! It's all very murky and dangerous and fragile. Even your summary is very intense. Your characters (although of course I don't know much about them yet) seem three dimensional and well thought through.

You've got a few awkward sentences here and there, such as, "Malfoy's mother made no comment as she visited her shamed husband in Azkaban." But for the most part, your grammar and flow are very good.

The POV changes aren't distracting - in fact, I really like the opening of the story from Stan's POV. I like your descriptions, too!

9/10

Faux

Author's Response: Hi Faux! Thanks for stopping by!

The mood is really brought on my description (another difficult one to balance, like backstory or dialogue) and because everything is dark and rainy and cold and intense. I hoped the summary would reflect the story, so it would hook readers in. Glad you liked it. I wanted really developed characters for this fic, so hopefully it'll work out.

How is that sentence awkward? Would love some feedback on how to fix it, maybe an example or something.

Good to know you like it. I hate POV changes, especially in third person. It's difficult to switch.

Thanks for the review.


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Review #28, by Toujours Padfoot II

31st August 2011:
NO, SCORPIUS. COME BACK. I WANT TO SEE SCORPODIE KISSES IN THE RAIN.

Oh my god, this story is fascinating. The characters - I can't even describe it. The characters are freaking amazing, Hattie. They're so real and believable already and I am very curious to know more about them. I want to know why their relationship fell apart - if it's salvageable - if they're meant to be. The way that she can push at him, using words like venom and taunting him with rejecting him, reminding him that his father was gone and his mother was dying - just...wow. And as sick as it is, I want to see her break him. It feels like it would sort of heal the situation.

Their chemistry is just intoxicating.

A couple of my favorite bits:

A tiny gold ember flew from the flames and left a small dark hole on the rich oak flooring. - It's descriptions like these that sell a story to me. It's so vivid. I am extremely impressed.

I also loved the bit about history repeating itself with the licorice ring and then her rejecting him again later in life. Why did she reject him? WHO COULD REJECT SCORPIUS?! He's so beautiful here, I just want to climb inside the story and force him to love me. But then I can see her side of it - it feels like he definitely proposed for the wrong reasons. Is she testing him? It feels like she's testing him, pushing boundaries and pressing buttons to trigger something.

They flitted around the subject that pulled and prodded at their minds, never actually mentioning it to one another, but all the same they both knew that they were talking about it.
- Gahh. Your descriptions are perfect. Just perfect.

This story is so lovely, Hattie. I can't wait to see what happens next. That's an art with stories - the addicting quality. You've either got it or you don't, and you REALLY do.



Author's Response: Scorpodie? Really? Elpius. Elopius. Scordie. (Although that last one makes it sound like I'm threatening Scorpius... which is the last thing Skypeland wants).

Your lovely comments have literally made my day. I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond to this: I sat reading it over and over again and conniption occurred and it was all very beautiful. I wub you, Sarah. You're so kind. For Scorpius and Elodie, I was going for a Pip and Estella, as well as - a far less intellectual parallel though - Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl. Scor and Elodie once loved each other, but now fight and fight and cause each other so much pain that in end they realise it isn't worth it, and after the slight burst of euphoria/adrenalin at the other's pain, they just feel bad because they desire each other/are attracted to one another.

Chemistry! Yay!

I tried to fit in memories so people could compare and contrast now and then. I wanted them to see that Scorpodie had been happy and in love and everything, but Scorpius changed that when he proposed and Elodie rejected him. You have to acknowledge that they do/did/whatever love each other and it's very hard for her to let go. You really have to think of her arguments with Scorpius as banter. Ish. Sort of. More emotionally jarring banter. I suppose she is testing him, in a way. She knows he's angry with her and that he hates her (she hates him too, but less, and more because of how he reacted rather than for proposing in the first place).

I WANT SCORPIUS TO LOVE ME TOO. I REALLY DO. HE'S SO SEXY AND BROODING.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so so so so so much for all your lovely comments and your points and your ideas, Sarah. Day = made because of this review. U r awzum. ♥


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Review #29, by Toujours Padfoot I

29th August 2011:
HATTIE I HAVE COME HITHER AGAIN.

:O

Such mystery! Such intrigue! I want to know more about them. Elodie must have rejected Scorpius's proposal, but why? And if they're not together, then why is she with him? Where is Draco? What exactly is wrong with Astoria? Have they tried going to Muggle hospitals? Are they too proud/prejudiced to do that?

Already I am wanting more. You're very good with the art of feeding us certain information very slowly, answering one question just enough to satisfy our curiosity while unraveling another one to keep us guessing.

And the descriptions. Wow. The floral scent, the dust, the age. How much Malfoy Manor changed in a year. I could see the mirror with dust and blood spittle vividly - and I'm very much wondering what Astoria was searching for in her jewelry box.

Gah! So lovely. I can't wait to find out what happens next.



Author's Response: HELLO SARAH. I AM GLAD YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN HITHERED.

READ ON, my pretty, and kinda-sorta-maybe-ish everything will be revealed! You'll discover all about what happened between Elodie and Scorpius, what their relationship is like now, and how it was before. She's a bit of a git and so is he. Draco's mystery will be uncovered later. Astoria's dying, so she'll be around for long.

Aaah, description. The bane of my existence. Too much? Too little? Too much backstory? Too little backstory? I'm glad you liked the newspaper article. I thought it would be the best way to relay the information. It was hard getting the tone right though.

TANK YA LUVLIH SAZ FO' ALL YO LUVLIH COMMENTS. U REALLEH IZ FABEROO. REALLEH. ♥


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Review #30, by TheGoldenKneazle V

28th August 2011:
Hi there! It's me off the forums with your review.

Almost straight away in the first chapter, you created enough dark atmosphere and lingering hints of Elodie and Scorpius's relationship that pulled the reader in. The confusing messages we are sent from both sides of the party, and the repetition of 'Will you marry me?' that is going through both their heads, is extremely pulling and really makes you want to find out what is happening between them.

This strange fascination is only heigtened as you further their complicated relationship, revealing their secrets and showing us their problems, all accentuated by your amazing descriptions that set the scene so perfectly, and are jam-packed with metaphors and tiny details that really put my teeth on edge, you create the tensions so well. The most obvious example of this is at the start of the second chapter, but it completely fits the scenario, and I think you have the perfect amount of anxious description running all the way through.

As both Scorpius and Elodie's characters were revealed more and more, we saw only more attachments to the outside world, and it was actually Albus's silent observations that taught us most about their past; their complete trust in each other, and their destruction. As we saw Albus's observations, we also got to learn more about him and his strange fascination with Scorpius and Elodie; you have it perfectly set up so that we can learn most about our main characters through others. This works extremely well, and I've never seen it done anywhere else before.

Your POV changes flow almost seamlessly, swapping into another person's head very easily, after some description of the person from our current POV (if that makes sense?). Your flow is quite a nice pace too, because although it is rather slow at the minute, it has built up a richly detailed emotional background for us to work with later on; the reactions of the main characters and their pasts are a lot more interesting than I would have predicted!

Overall, I absolutely love this dystopian web of secrets you have here; it's very different and extremely enchanting and pulling for you to read on. I would definitely want to read the next chapter to find out more about these amazing characters you have defined so well! 10/10.
~TGK

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I appreciate it lots and lots. Really, you're fabulous.

I felt it was important to get the backstory in asap, so readers have some sort of idea what is going on. There's a lot of it: Elodie and Scorpius' relationship, Draco's disappearance, Astoria's illness and the state of the wizarding world etc etc. I wanted to get the balance just right - not too much so that people don't come back for more, not too little so that people get all confused. Having Stan and the newspaper article and, to some extent, the 'will you marry me's helped with this balance.

Aah, description. The bane of my existence. Too much? Too little? Too much backstory? Too little backstory? It was hard getting the tone right though and I had real problems with thinking that people would just get bored and skip the big chunks, possibly missing key points.

For Scorpius and Elodie, I was going for a Pip and Estella, as well as - a far less intellectual parallel though - Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl. Scor and Elodie once loved each other, but now fight and fight and cause each other so much pain that in end they realise it isn't worth it, and after the slight burst of euphoria/adrenalin at the other's pain, they just feel bad because they desire each other/are attracted to one another.

Albus was more difficult to characterise, simply because there are so many versions of him out there that I didn't want to fall into the trap of making him a massive cliche. He IS in Slytherin, which I know quite of people do, so I used the relationship with Arthur to make him more realistic and believable - lots of people can relate to relationship with grandparents that have passed away. In a way, I wanted him to be completely alone - something he could relate to Scorpius with, that and the whole hot sexy novel reading.

I was worried about POV changes, especially in omniscient third person or whatever. You have to get the balance and change just right in order for the flow to work properly. I'm so glad you think it worked though. Pace is really very slow - I'm getting a bit worried about it - I've written 20,000 words for two days in the story.

The main challenge I had with this story. I wanted to write something in third person, simply because then I could switch POVS. I know it's easier to write feelings/emotions/reactions in first person from writing my other stories, but I wanted this one to be different.

Thanks again for your lovely, lovely review. It really did make my day. :D ♥


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Review #31, by halfbreed V

23rd August 2011:
I love this story; everything is so tangible. I love the way all the relationships and encounters flow into one another. Albus is probably my favorite; the way he thinks is captivating. You do a spectacular job of describing how everyone is feeling and treating all of them significantly. It doesn't feel like it's jumping around or awkward in the slightest, which I think is something that's really easy to fall into.

Everything about this is just amazing. I look forward to more!

Author's Response: Aaah, a surprise, spontaneous review on my favourite story! Day = made. Thanks so much. Albus is my favourite too - I can really relate to him, not with the whole stalking thing, but with the reading and quiet observant thing. Rose is super fun to write though. She's such a git.

Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments and for reading and reviewing!


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Review #32, by Hyenni V

9th August 2011:
oh, Rose is not a nice person. there's a much more apt word to describe her, but i'm not allowed to write it in this review. that was just plain rude and mean, what she said to poor Sally; although it has made me curious as to Rose's relationship with her boyfriend - how does he like her if she can act that callously?

the Scorpius-Albus meeting was almost as awkward as the Elodie-Albus one. :') i'm hoping for some sort of bromance, although i don't think that'll happen - maybe they'll just co-operate, or co-exist peacefully. i'd be happy with that.

and i'm definitely curious as to what 'ships might erupt out of this. you have a very realistic approach to this story, and right now it looks as if anything could happen - within reason. although i'm half-hoping that Elodie and Scorpius stay apart, because obviously all we've seen is them being cruel to each other. Albus/Elodie definitely sounds intriguing to me, although i'm still unsure of what relationships i'm actually rooting for yet :')

i'm loving this story so far, and i'll be awaiting the next chapter with baited breath! (:
Hyenni101, Slytherin XD

Author's Response: Rose is horrible. She's ambitious and intelligent, yes, but she uses her talents in the worst possible way - she's a bully, she's a female dog, she thinks that she can just walk all over people. She appears to be perfect. She thinks she's perfect and that, in turn, if where her biggest fault lies. She's not nice - even to her own cousins, if she thinks they might harm/ruin her or her reputation.

Aah, bromance. The unattainable goal. Hopefully it'll come sooner than you think. It'll be glorious when it happens.

I was so so tempted to go all Alpius or Scorbus on you but I'm not sure if it would work like that - Scorpius and Elodie obviously have some history, and we've got a bit of Scorminique sneaking in there. Who knows? Could be Scorose. Could be Alodie. Elbus. Who knows?

Thanks so much for your lovely comments and for reading and reviewing!


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Review #33, by Hyenni IV

9th August 2011:
oh, wow. that was really...awkward all round.

Lily is not a nice person. I'm stating the obvious here, but seriously - wow, is she even human? I really do not like that girl - lying about orphanages and bonfires and that? that's just low. how did you manage to even create such a loathsome person? :')

and there is so much mystery going on that i'm not sure which bit i'm most curious about. i'd start asking questions, but you probably couldn't answer them without ruining half the plot line for this, and i don't think either of us would want that XD.

i'm psyched for the Scorpius encounter. i can't wait to see how that will go, and hopefully it will be a hell of a lot less awkward than the Elodie one :')

Hyenni101, Slytherin (:

Author's Response: AWKWALRUS. THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

Yeah, Lily isn't very nice. She's spoilt and petulant and a princess and is pampered and babied and completely deluded and annoying and everything. Her eldest brother is the same - although he's so cool and mysterious and cocky cos he's really hot, apparently.

Go on, I would ask the questions. I'm busy struggling to finish chapter six and I'm still asking myself questions.

Eh, it was awkward. Alscor aren't exactly bezzies. BFFLs. Whatever. They're room-mates and Albus is his stalker.

Thanks for your review!


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Review #34, by Hyenni III

9th August 2011:
oh, and we meet Albus! personally, i love your version of the middle Potter child - he seems so normal, but very much his own person at the same time, if that makes any sense :') and we've met James and Lily, as well!

i seriously dislike those two, which you probably meant to happen. normally, i have ample amounts of sympathy for even the worst of characters, but i can't find it in me to feel anything but disdain for the two of them. Voldemort was the way he was because of his childhood and his suffering all pushed him into it. Lily and James are just spoilt and ridiculous. i don't know how you've got me so set against two minor characters so quickly, but it's definitely a testament to how good your writing is :')

i'm waiting with baited breath for the moment when Albus, Elodie and Scorpius all cross paths with each other. it looks to be an interesting meeting, that's for sure.

Hyenni101, Slytherin (:

Author's Response: He's very interesting to write, and I wanted to make him completely different to everything I've ever read about him. I wanted him to be a nobody, a recluse. A bit of a loser. I also think that he's a bit of a sociopath. He's so silent and observant, it's almost unnerving.

James and Lily totally suck. Really and truly. I wanted the pretense of a happy family - they are meant to be perfect and lovely and what not - and I supposed that it what Harry and Ginny think they have. They also think that Albus is just shy - they try to encourage him. They feel they have to make a special effort because he's so different. Albus isn't as stupid as they think though, and their apparent approval of his Slytheriness just comes off as patronising - which it is.

Thanks so much for your lovely comments, again, and sorry for the lateness in this response!


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Review #35, by Hyenni II

9th August 2011:
ouch. i have to agree with Scorpius there - why did he bother with her? she's been nothing but a nasty cow to him so far, and from what i've seen, it's been a bit unjustified! but somehow, i don't dislike Elodie, despite how evil she's being to Scorpius right now. (although he's not being so nice and friendly either, I suppose.)

i love how you've made Scorpius into a smaller version of his father, in a way. not exactly like Draco, but with some of his traits and that. in other fics, he generally gets made into the opposite of Draco, into some lovely nice guy who luffs fwuffy puppies and all that. your version of him is somehow more likeable that that :')

i'm absolutely in love with this story so far!
Hyenni101, Slytherin (:

Author's Response: It does seem a little like Scorpius and Elodie hate each other right now and they do - it's just they've still got this desire and attraction for one another which means they find it difficult to move on. It's a serious love/hate relationship. (And yeah, I kinda love Elodie too).

Scorpius is meant to have traits from Draco - his coldness, his aloofness, but his worst nightmare is turning into his parents. He's not fwuffeh or sweet or a Hufflepuff. He's still a Slytherin through and through... he's just a bit more level headed and more intelligent emotionally.

Thanks for all your lovely comments! Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #36, by Hyenni I

9th August 2011:
i'd heard about this story in that little corner labelled 'formspring' and was planning to check it out already, then you answered my status on the forums and it was like fate O.o

this was incredible. i'm always positive in my reviews, mostly, but i really, truly mean that. you have such a beautiful writing style that i'm emerald-green with envy right now. and some of the lines that were in this chapter were just so clever that they stunned me. An impurity of the blood, they had said. oh, that made me smile - i can bet Draco wasn't please about that.

i am so intrigued by this. why is Scorpius marrying Elodie if he doesn't like her? why is Elodie marrying Scorpius? are they even getting married, or is there something else going on? what's really up with Astoria's sickness? where is Draco? and those are only the big questions floating through my head right now. i'm dying of curiosity right now.

i'm already desperate to click the next chapter button!
Hyenni101, Slytherin (:

Author's Response: That little corner of Formspring is all ours, obviously. It was like fate, wasn't it?

I'm blushing. Profusely. I'm blushing so much that my cheeks will probably retain this colour for years to come. Thank you so much. You are really too kind. And yes, Draco hates all that - he's still so obsessed with the whole pureblood thing that his wife having 'impure blood' would really make him angry.

Neither of them is getting married! Scorpius asked Elodie to marry him and she rejected him. Astoria is ill and dying and Draco is gone (who knows where?).

Thanks so much for your lovely comments and for reading and reviewing. It made my day!


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Review #37, by Aero I

8th August 2011:
Firstly, I'd like to say that this story is one of the most beautifully written tales I've read. It was full with mystery, drama, and suspense. Secondly, your grammar and spelling is flawless. I couldn't see any noticable mistakes. But then again, I don't have the best eyesight. Anyway, like I said, this story is absolutely enchanting. *Thumbs up*

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely, wonderful, flattering comments! You are so kind. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

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Review #38, by Icydevil V

8th August 2011:
Wow, I love your version of Weasleys too. Your story is like a breath of fresh air. Your potayal of characters, so different, so unique. I love this!

Author's Response: Oh my gaaah, blushing. Thank you so much!

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Review #39, by Icydevil III

8th August 2011:
I LOVE your version of the Potters! I'm loving your story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading!

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Review #40, by Icydevil II

7th August 2011:
I'm really getting hooked up to your story. Brilliant!

Author's Response: Aaw, thanks again!

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Review #41, by Icydevil I

7th August 2011:
Wow, interesting. I like the beginning!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #42, by carol IV

18th July 2011:
i must say, Al is kinda hot in this.

Author's Response: He isn't meant to be, but hey ho...

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Review #43, by ravenclaw_princess III

3rd July 2011:
This was a really good chapter. I loved the intorduction of Al us and especially seeing his dysfunctional through his eyes. It produced a very unique perspctive and showed a lot of his personality and palce in the world. You can see that he doesn't quite fit in with everyone and hates the family traditions and nonsense. He is characterisaed beutifully and really suits being a Slytherin.

The interaction between Scorius and Elodie and her paretns was interesting. It is quite apartent that they don't like him, especially by the use of the name Malfoy.

Elodie seems to love and hate Scorpius at the same time. It's sometimes hard to know exactly what she wants with him. She refuses his proposal, yet masquerades in front of her parents as if they are still together. Scorpius natually is incensed and I don't blame him.

The story is flowing really well. It has quite a dark, angsty atmosphere about it all. The characterised are very well defined and thought out and it was cool to see Albus come into the story. Well done.

Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely comments - I actually writing about dysfunctional family. Yeah, usually you get the 'oh look Ron is angry for Rose because she's been having an illicit relationship with Malfoy' kind of look on the Weasleys, and especially the whole 'look they are all together for happy times as a family'. I wanted the pretense of a happy family - they are meant to be perfect and lovely and what not - and I supposed that it what Harry and Ginny think they have. They also think that Albus is just shy - they try to encourage him. They feel they have to make a special effort because he's so different. Albus isn't as stupid as they think though, and their apparent approval of his Slytheriness just comes off as patronising - which it is.

I was going for a sort of Pip and Estella thing with them. They loved each other once, but they still continually try to destory each other, and after the slight burst of euphoria/adrenalin at the other's pain, they just feel bad because they desire each other/are attracted to one another.

I worked really hard on getting the atmosphere and the feel and flow just right. I have a really specific feel for this story... I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #44, by AgnesPink IV

21st June 2011:
Once again such a beautiful chapter.
I am looking forward to reading more.
Please update soon.
:)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm writing chapter five atm :)

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Review #45, by AgnesPink II

21st June 2011:
This has to be like my favorite chapter in all the fan-fictions I have ever read.

I am imagining Alex Pettyfer and Dianna Agron(I have a total girl crush on her) as Scorpious and Elodie and I so loved the way you have described their relationship. I love how their is so much pain in their love.

And you write wonderfully.

Author's Response: Stop it, you! You are making me blush.

Dianna Agron is so pretty, and Alex Pettyfer is hot, but a total arrogant git. I totally picture Scorpius and Elodie as them. I love writing their relationship.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #46, by AgnesPink I

21st June 2011:
That was extremely well-written.
:)

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #47, by redherring IV

30th May 2011:
I think Albus is probably my favourite of your characters, which is saying something as they're all pretty-darn-brilliant. I love how they're all so flawed, but realistically so, not in a "oh, well, my character needs flaws so as not to be Mary-Sue, so I'll just throw a couple in there" kind of way. The relationship between all three of them is very interesting too, especially as there's something very uncomfortable about it, with Albus always being on the edge and simply watching Scorpius and Elodie without actually having proper interaction with them. Your writing is, again, beauuutiful.

Completely brilliant, again!. I'm hoping for an update soon ;)

Author's Response: Albus has been portrayed with so many different characterisations: ladies' man, super foxy awesome hot lad and just a bit of a meh kinda guy. He's very interesting to write, and I wanted to make him completely different to everything I've ever read about him. I wanted him to be a nobody, a recluse. A bit of a loser. I also think that he's a bit of a sociopath. He's so silent and observant, it's almost unnerving. He's got such a close connection with Malfoy and Elodie - but not friendship-wise, but simply physical. He shares a dorm with Malfoy; he must see him everyday, talk (bit loosely phrased) everyday, but they never really connect. Albus knows all about him though. He's odd.

Thank you for all your lovely comments, and I sorry I literally just over-analysed Albus for you. You could write about him in various English exams, whatever, whatever. Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #48, by redherring III

30th May 2011:
Another brilliant chapter! I loved Albus' introduction, and your portrayal of him as well - I always think he suits being the quieter, more reserved brother. What I think I liked most about that section, though, were the dysfunctional!Potters. That's something that's really quite rare in fanfiction, for them to be seriously, properly dusfunctional, anyway, not just in a humorous way. It was really interesting to see them described through Albus' eyes with such distaste, to see the negative side to them. Oh, and I'm really rather sad that Arthur's dead :( That was really moving, mainly because you told us it so simply, so quietly, not making a big deal of it. Loved it!

Author's Response: Yeah, usually you get the 'oh look Ron is angry for Rose because she's been having an illicit relationship with Malfoy' kind of look on the Weasleys, and especially the whole 'look they are all together for happy times as a family'. I wanted the pretense of a happy family - they are meant to be perfect and lovely and what not - and I supposed that it what Harry and Ginny think they have. They also think that Albus is just shy - they try to encourage him. They feel they have to make a special effort because he's so different. Albus isn't as stupid as they think though, and their apparent approval of his Slytheriness just comes off as patronising - which it is.

And yeah, Arthur's dead. I felt really sad writing that bit, actually. I was contemplating making a bigger deal of it though! Thanks again for your lovely review.


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Review #49, by redherring II

30th May 2011:
Ok, wow. I read the first chapter of this a while back and for some reason didn't then continue with it. Having read this now, I have absolutely no idea why not. This was just brilliant! I love your characterisations of both Scorpius and Elodie and their relationship is fascinating. The way you kept showing snippets of their story, the way you're gradually explaining their history together was fantastic too. Your writing is just gorgeous too, all the dialogue very realistic, the description completely brilliant, especially at the beginning with Scorpius wandering through the dark house alone at night... all very eerie and I loved it!

Author's Response: I had massive qualms about this chapter actually. I was seem to have my characters have an argument in the second chapter of all my fics. I don't know why, I guess it's just an easy way to reveal relationships and plot lines and emotions and that. Plus they are SUPER fun to write. I love banter. I also wanted to incorporate some memories/flashbacks whatever, just so I could reveal more backstory for all you lovely readers. ♥

Thank you for all your lovely comments, and for coming back to review! :D


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Review #50, by LovelyMioneWeasley IV

16th May 2011:
Hi there again, love, Lindsey with your requested review. Sorry I haven't been back over here earlier to catch up on the story. I really enjoyed the first three chapters and am excited to have read the fourth installment. I'm confused as to why it isn't more popular. It's really very good.

It's like your not even trying.óLilyís dialogue when fighting with Al. Wrong 'you're.' That was the only issue that I really saw as far as grammar.

I think that you do an amazing job with Al and his character. You make him so realistic and interesting to read about. He has the loner tendency and really has a different perspective from his family members. Sometimes, authors make it seem unrealistic with characters that are reserved and awkward and tend to keep to themselves; Al, however, comes across as just someone who is out of place. Once he finds his place, I could totally see him blossoming and making friends.

I'm sad that Hogwarts seems to be such a hard experience for Albus and that he doesn't get along well with his family. Lily being a spoilt princess that enjoys getting her way came across as totally believable. I think that you do a great job on the tension between Al walking away and Lily following him mocking him.

Overall, I think that Elodie and Al's conversation was painful and totally realistic. I can envision some tense conversations Iíve had with some past classmates. Albus does a great job handling the awkwardness and intensity; his character most definitely consistent.

Good job overall love. Let me know about more updates.

LMW

Author's Response: Hey Lindsey! Thanks again for reviewing, and sorry for the lateness in this response, especially considering I requested from you. I apologise. Thank you for your lovely comments, I'm really glad you liked and enjoyed it. This is my favourite story to write and edit - and believe me, it takes a while to edit.

I'll sort out that mistake. Thanks for pointing it out - grammar is just the bane of my existence.

Albus has been portrayed with so many different characterisations. He's very interesting to write, and I wanted to make him completely different to everything I've ever read about him. I wanted him to be a nobody, a recluse. A bit of a loser. I also think that he's a bit of a sociopath. He's so silent and observant, it's almost unnerving. He's got such a close connection with Malfoy and Elodie - but not friendship-wise, but simply physically. He shares a dorm with Malfoy; he must see him everyday, talk (bit loosely phrased) everyday, but they never really connect. Albus knows all about him though. He's odd.

I really wanted to write a fic that had an unconventional family - people usually portray this in humour fics... the family is a little kooky or whatever. Then, of course, there's the whole 'Ron hates Malfoy so would never approve of Scorpius' etc, etc. I also wanted to write about a fic where the context of the original are reversed - where the good (Harry Potter and his family) are almost terrorising the bad (the Malfoys) because of what they did in the war.

Lily as a spoilt princess was always a guilty writing pleasure of mine... glad you liked her!

Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I will definitely re-request if I finally update it!


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