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297 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Infinityx A Ray of Light

27th January 2015:
Hey Aditi! Here for our swap!

I wanted to review earlier but I was too engrossed in what was happening to stop reading then.

Ah, so much drama. I love it! :D The way you've characterized Dominique and Teddy is brilliant. I really like how you managed to fit in that side story earlier about how Teddy used to date Victoire and everything. It was a small deviation from the main plot but it fit right into the story and brought a balance between the events that were happening and Dominique's inner feelings. Great job there!

I suspected foul play when I read about the anti-apparition charm on the cottage in the very first chapter and I was right! I like your reference to the charm once again as it really was a crucial element in everything that went wrong. And Delilah. Wow, she is crazy. I love how you've written her here, with her lust for power and absolutely no regard for the people she'd hurt in the process.

The entire plan for catching her seemed very well thought out. Teddy came at the right moment with the Auror and the witness, they know exactly how to interrogate her, and of course, ensuring she couldn't leave. You've left no holes there! I especially love how you've brought in references to Harry here and there, and tied Dom to him. A lot of people who concentrate on a particular Next Gen family tend not to bring in members of the extended family into the plot (if you understand what I mean). I love how you've integrated so many small elements and details into this!

A tiny bit of CC:
Delilah was really quick to confess to her crime. Maybe that part could have been focused on a bit more with Teddy slyly getting the truth out of her or something. The pace is really fast in this chapter so it seems a bit rushed. Maybe you could slow things down with each scene. Maybe Dom doesn't immediately blurt out that she knows what Delilah has done but tries to extract a confession from her or something. I think elongating the scenes just a tiny bit more would help slow down the pace a little bit. But that's just my opinion, feel free to ignore it if you don't agree. :)

I really loved this so far! I'm expecting the next few chapters to be focused on Dom's new life. That's got to be interesting. I'm going to read on and review now!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you like my characterisations as well as the little details. Thank you. As for drama, that's my forte xD

Delilah is definitely crazy and I'm glad you liked the way I wrote her.

The plan was indeed well thought out - especially with Teddy by Dom's side. I definitely like to see the entire family as being quite close so I couldn't not put them all connected!

Thank you for the CC as well. I understand that it came across as a bit rushed but the way I see Delilah - I think she's a very hot headed person (so is Dom really) and so she confessed the way she did. Nonetheless, I'l go over the chapter again when I have the time and see if I can do anything about it =)

Thanks!


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Review #27, by marauderfan Settling

26th January 2015:
Hi Aditi! Here with your review!

Aah, your description of the still night in that first section is just GORGEOUS, I can picture it all so clearly. And then when Dom's transformation happens - that was incredibly well written and I feel like I was right there with her. You include all these details that just make the scene so real, I love it.

“Accio wand,” she muttered and saw it zooming towards her from the cabinet -- this stood out to me because can you summon something without a wand? (You might be right, and remembering something I'm not, but this surprised me - maybe something to have a look at.)

I really loved Dom's talk with Victoire and Julia - they are exactly what she needs. Victoire is sensitive and tactful and has all these gifts, Julia isn't tactful but she treats Dom just like normal, which I think is something Dom really craves. Everything is normal with her and her friends again and now she feels like she'll be okay -that is so great. I'm totally on the same page as Dom about the marriage, it's too much to rush into suddenly, but it definitely makes sense to talk to Teddy at this point and I'm glad Vic and Julia helped her come to that conclusion.

“That’s like my girl,” said Julia with a grin. -- here I think it might sound better to just say "That's my girl"

One area you might want to clarify is also this bit: She had braved the outside world for the first time yesterday for an interview for the Prophet. -- at first I thought she had been interviewed (about becoming a werewolf or something) and then I realized you meant she had conducted an interview (because she's a reporter). Maybe it was just me reading it wrong, but one way to clarify this would be to say "she had conducted an interview" or "she had interviewed someone about (insert random topic here)."

Hm. I don't actually remember who David Dale is but I remember the name, I think he had something to do with Delilah Jones' plan. And I think he was a werewolf. I'll look back a couple of chapters haha, as it's been a while since I read those now. I can't imagine what he wants from her though, unless he wants to apologise for something? Mystery. I like it.

Despite this being a bit fillery, I never have objection to filler chapters because I think they're important as kind of a break between really important scenes. And the first bit of this was not filler at all. I think showing her first transformation and recovery was so important and you did wonderfully with that. Can't wait to see how it all turns out! Great chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked the first section of the story. I tried my best with the descriptions so I'm glad it worked.

I think, in the HP books, someone does "Accio" their wand (though I can't remember who). I think advanced witches and wizards who have mastered spells can do this kind of magic. And I felt that Dominique could have done it so I wrote it =)

Victoire and Julia are really what Dom needs right now, and I'm glad that came across. I am also happy that Dom's reasoning for not marrying Teddy made sense to you!

I have now corrected the typo, thanks!

David Dale is a werewolf - that's all I'll say for now. More will be revealed in the next chapter. You don't have to look back if you don't want to - it'll make sense in the next chapter either way haha. I do love my mysteries ;)

I felt this filler chapter was important as well - to show Dom's transformation, its aftermath (I actually edited in some content that showed a more miserable aftermath than before) and her dealing with everything.

Thanks again!


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Review #28, by missatron The Worst Had Happened

26th January 2015:
Hi there! Sorry for the delay. I'm here now, with your requested review.

I knew that I'd be back, somehow or another, as I really enjoyed your first chapter. I hope that the second will live up to the first!

Something that I thought was interesting - the werewolf who had attacked her had probably taken Wolfsbane. I didn't expect this, but then again, Wolfsbane is probably a lot more common in this generation. I suppose that it was a nice change.

I liked how you started this off with a dream - I think it makes Dom's fear of werewolves is a lot stronger than we imagined - or were led to believe in the first chapter without much background knowledge. I think that you actually wrote the dream very well. There was plenty of description and the scene was clear. The only thing that I would say to help you improve the dream is to try and smooth it over a little. The part where the man helps her up seems a little rushed and stilted. We also want the wolf's appearance to be fairly memorable. Since the wolf featured in Dom's dream, I want to know more about what it looks like, in case it ever features again in the story. It can be easily fixed, no worries.

I really can't help but feel sorry for Dom in this chapter. My, she really is having a hard time, what with her biggest, strongest fear becoming reality. I suppose that we all have to face our fears one time or another in our lives, but the way you wrote it was so powerful! (That's good!) Emotive too. Well done! The way she reacted was probably quite realistic too, though she was rather dramatic, lashing out like that. I suppose she was filled with fear and adrenalin at the time so that it seemed like her only option.

I enjoyed the fact that she couldn't remember what had happened as soon as she had woken up and that she had to wait a few minutes for her full memory to return. I like how we got to see a glimpse of what Dom was usually like with her family and friends - her personality and actions seem a lot different to how she acts in the rest of the chapter. I suppose that that would be understandable in such a situation.

I'm so glad that you requested for me to read this, as I love it, and it's a nice change from what I usually read. Feel free to re request!

Missy ♥

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

Wolfsbane is definitely more common in this generation - more on that in future chapters.

I am glad you liked the way I wrote the dream. I'll try and see if it can be smoothed over further =)

It's great to know you found this emotive and that you feel for Dom here. Her reaction is really a bit over-the-top but she is just very scared right now.

Thanks again!


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Review #29, by Pixileanin It Is Time

24th January 2015:
Hi! I’m back for more.

I love the way you opened this chapter, with the failed notes to Teddy. The morning always puts a different spin on things that happen from the previous night, don’t they? I can feel Dominique’s regret and remorse over the situation, and also the deep isolation when she woke up without someone there to support her. It’s understandable that she blamed herself, especially after running out on him, but I can see how the whole thing built up to this big ball of crazy that she just couldn't deal with at the time.

I liked that Hermione was ready to help and had everything set up for Dominique that morning. That was the help that Dominique absolutely needed at that time. All hail Hermione and her ultimate wisdom!

I can completely understand Dominique’s gut reaction to the cottage, being so similar to the place where the whole ordeal had started. Your description was very strong in setting the scene and also in giving me a picture of Dominique’s emotional state. It all worked together really well here.

I was surprised and hopeful when Teddy showed up at the cottage, but my hopes were dashed very quickly. Gosh, they are both so hot-headed. Well, that ended badly. They both had valid points, but they are also both so hurt that they aren't listening.

The note right before her transformation was a good morale booster, I thought. It's nice to see that Dominique's family is still standing by her and helping her out in any way that they can. It's sad that Teddy has taken this time to bail.

Writing-wise, this feels like your strongest chapter yet. The prose is tight, the action moves, and everything in the plot is coming together. The emotions are still high, and I’m feeling the characters through their words. The dialogue felt relevant and natural (even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear :P) I've been waiting for the transformation and I'm curious as to whatever that’s going to mean for Dominique.

Great chapter! I think I'll have time for the last posted chapter, and then I'll have to bug you for the next installment to see how this thing ends.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your reviews really have made me so happy =)

I am pleased you liked the opening. Yes, the morning does open perspectives. I am also happy that you can understand Dom's feelings.

Hermione is definitely the person for such things - always ready to help!

I am glad you liked my description in the cottage scene and that Dom's reaction made sense.

Gah it did end quite badly didn't it? They both had their strong opinions and instead of having a mature discussion, they ended up fighting. Hopefully, things will sort out soon.

Dominique's family is certainly supporting her so I'm glad that you acknowledged that little detail.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I'm always worried about dialogue so to hear that it came across natural is a huge relief. Thank you once again and I hope you read the last chapter as well!


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Review #30, by Pixileanin At The Burrow

24th January 2015:
What Teddy says about Dominique’s scar is very touching. It shows, just like he says, that he’s accepted it as a part of her. I can tell that he’s trying so hard, but as the rest of the scene unfolds, it’s clear that he has something else on his mind.

This feels like the first time that Dominique has tried to be herself around the family. The dinner seemed to be difficult for her, mostly because she wanted so badly to be okay with everything, and yet a huge life-changing event was just around the corner - and I’m talking about the full moon here, not the proposal. No one seemed to be addressing it - like this huge elephant in the room. I literally breathed a sigh of relief when Hermione brought it up in the kitchen.

I know you’ve been prepping the reader to think that there’s a possibility that Dominique can just ignore this werewolf part of her and go on living a normal life, but I couldn’t buy into it. I was really surprised that she hadn’t thought ahead of where she would stay for the transformation. She is such a meticulous planner in all other things, and she just wrote an article on the subject as well. I had assumed that she had some kind of plan, or made some arrangement. Anyway, I was so pleased that Hermione had thought ahead and was able to get wolfsbane for the big night, however she did it. She would be the one who would know how to do things like that.

Timing, timing, timing. I’m not sure what Teddy was thinking here. Sure, he wants to be supportive, but… all I can say is timing. It does make for a great way to end the scene, very angsty and cliffhanger-y and dramatic.

Author's Response: Teddy has definitely been very accepting of Dominique. That does not of course say that all is well - Teddy is scared too and we see more of that in the future chapters.

Haha yeah, it was an elephant in the room. Everyone was trying to avoid it to keep Dom as comfortable as possible but it kinda made Dom uncomfortable. Hermione is the rational person in the family and it made sense for her to have thought of everything for Dom. Though Dom is a planner, she avoids thinking of the full moon and thus things skip her notice.

Teddy is definitely not thinking straight xD I'm glad you're liking the story (or at least I think you are). Thanks!


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Review #31, by Pixileanin A Ray of Light

24th January 2015:
Definitely the chapter title says it all. This was a ray of light in the story, where everything finally went right for once. It’s great that Dominique was able to resolve this bit of her troubles with confidence.

I was so relieved that Teddy showed up when he did. Having the two women in that office spitting nails at each other wasn’t accomplishing anything, and I was scared that it was going to turn out very badly until he stepped through the door. Great build-up of tension in that part.

I’m glad that Teddy had all the bases covered, and that the specifics of it weren’t revealed prior to that moment in the story. Even if Dominique had known about the setup beforehand, I loved that you only chose to show it where it mattered to the plot. It was great for the pacing, because the reader got to discover, along with Jones, the lengths that Teddy and the Auror in charge went through to make sure that the confrontation went the way they needed it to.

I loved the recurrence of the apparation blocking charm that the Auror used. It seemed like an important detail in the beginning of the story, and to have it used against the guilty party when Delilah is apprehended adds a delightful sense of symmetry to the plot. I’m a big fan of symmetry. :)

I had often wondered about Dominique’s high-strung personality, and now I no longer worry over it. Delilah was completely over the top, bouncing between sickly sweet, complete denial, unjustified anger and insane vengeance - which oddly balances out Dominique and makes her out to be far more controlled and rational. Additionally, I found myself liking the idea that two driven people in the same field had similarities in personality. It would just make sense that similar minds would be drawn to the same profession... not that Dominique is insane or anything... and it just makes me more curious about Julia and what her story is. So for what it’s worth, kudos to you for balancing your cast of characters. I don’t even know if that’s a “thing”, but it felt worth mentioning.

And one more thing, I think it was extremely important that you mentioned the procedures that would be used to prove or disprove the situation, mainly the pensive and the veritaserum, which are both cool and believable for the wizarding world. Because you detailed the methods, I was completely able to buy in to Dominique’s sudden relief and confidence that matters would be settled appropriately. Of course, after the verbal admission in front of the Auror, I can’t see how it would have gone otherwise. Delilah must have known that her game was up at that point, and felt that she had nothing more to gain by pretending.

This feels like it could have been the final chapter by the way you ended it on such a positive note. But there is still that Full Moon coming up, which, as good as she feels about it right now, will still be another challenge… on a completely different level for Dominique.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked the build-up of the tension and enjoyed the confrontation. I am fan of symmetry too so I had fun writing the apparition thing.

I put a lot of myself into Dominique's personality and ironically (or not) I'm a journalist too - well I'm studying to be one. And most of the people I've come across in my field are somewhat similar in nature, so I put a little of that here. Of course, Delilah is an exaggerated version - I've never met someone as insane. As for Julia, I think she's less like Dominique or Delilah. I'm afraid I haven't explored much of her story in this novella. She is more like a supporting character and I don't do well with sub-plots.

I put a lot of thought into the procedures so I'm glad you noticed them. I love adding these little details and it's a pleasure when they're acknowledged.

It could have been the final chapter but Dominique is yet to face the full moon and I feel there're some things that need to be sorted between Teddy and her as well before the story can be over.

Thanks!


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Review #32, by Pixileanin Meetings and more.

24th January 2015:
Wow. It's so quiet around here... off to do another review!

This first scene… okay. Obviously, these characters are in an extremely difficult and emotional situation with implications that run far greater amok than they could even imagine. I think I get what you were trying to do here, by having Teddy be the calming, rational side of the situation, but the scene felt weird to me. After re-reading, I think it came down to two words.

“Calm down” uhh… even coming from Teddy, if I were in such a worked up state, I would not want to be told to calm down, and I’d completely shut out anything else that was being said to me. I think if you remove those first two words, Teddy’s dialogue would carry the same amount of weight without sounding condescending, or belittling Dominique’s justifiable anger at her boss.

After Teddy’s blowup from the previous chapter, I’d have expected a stronger reaction from him as well. Possibly, he was trying to remain calm because Dominique was already so upset, and if that was the case, I would have liked you to show us that internal struggle.

I really like the renewed spirit of Teddy and Dominique in the next scene, where they’re given a lead, and they finally have something to do about the situation. From the feeling I got from the previous chapter, I was surprised that Teddy agreed to have Dominique go with him to meet this person. I was more expecting him to sneak off and meet with the guy alone, but frankly, I like this situation better. The only thing that I wasn't keen on was the first paragraph, where the narrative felt a bit “explainy”. If it was me, I’d try to shorten that, or eliminate it and build it into the scene as they move forward.

This:

“Teddy smiled as he saw a glimpse of his old Dominique beneath the tense woman he’d been seeing for the past few days, as she scurried across the room, yanking out her jumper and cursing under her breath almost every two seconds when unable to find something.”

I love this. It shows me how Teddy is feeling, and how he cares about Dominique, and it also shows Dominique’s progress through characterization.

This Young guy, man, is he despicable. Desperate, yes, but so very selfish. I’m glad you gave Dominique a threat that moved him to assist them, even if it was a lie. Sure, he’s in a tight spot, but he doesn't sound like he was a good sort of person, even before he was bitten. It would have been interesting to learn what he did for a living before, and why he took to roaming the forests so quickly. Seems like he was running away from his old life. Makes me think of unnecessary subplots… lol.

I am sensing all kinds of denial on Teddy’s part. I loved that Young brought the real issue to the forefront again: Dominique’s life has permanently changed, and she’s going to have to deal with that in a very real way, in a very short amount of time. Even with Teddy’s family history, I don’t think he gets that. Dominique does, and she’s understandably terrified.

Julia seems like a very interesting character. I can’t wait to see what part she has to play in the rest of the story. You've dropped some visual hints about her, but I will reserve my comments about her until I see more.

Ms. Jones. Ugh. I had hoped that Teddy would have arrived sooner, so they could face her together. Dominique running hot and cold all this time, I just wasn't sure she would be in a good state to do the confrontation alone. I sincerely hope that she planned out what to say to this vile woman, because I certainly wouldn't be thinking clearly at that moment.

Author's Response: Hey again! Thank you for writing such thorough reviews =)

I get what you mean by those two words. But my point here was that Dom is the hot headed one, she's not thinking straight and Teddy is the calm guy who's trying to think of solutions to the problem instead of letting his emotions get the better of him. But I guess it didn't come across so well so I might have to edit and rephrase that part.

I actually wanted to put the description there to kinda set the scene, thus the 'explainy' bit, but I guess it doesn't work for all of us.

I am pleased you like Dominique's progress through characterisation and Teddy's thoughts towards her.

Young is definitely no good. Haha I did contemplate writing a one-shot on Young and his miserable life... one day maybe xD

Teddy is definitely in denial. Poor bloke.

Julia is that steady friend that will be by Dom's side =)

As to why Teddy isn't arriving sooner, we see it later!


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Review #33, by Pixileanin Decisions and Discoveries

24th January 2015:
Hi! Back again for more.

Fleur’s dialogue sounds quintessentially her, just like I would imagine. I think you captured her disposition and her fierce loyalty to family in those words.

I’m not loving the way that Dominique brushes aside the fact that Teddy knows and doesn't see the need to talk to him face to face. This might be the way she deals with stress, and maybe she needs to push the hurt away to make the decision, but it looks bad for Teddy, and as much as Fleur was supporting her, she seemed wary about bringing up Teddy at that moment. The whole thing makes me suspicious. Or maybe that's just how I am.

And then she avoids him altogether after the procedure. Not good, Dominique. I can feel her pulling away again. But I see that Teddy decides to bring it up himself later. That’s a good thing. Too much avoidance. Grr! I took Teddy’s reaction in stride. I didn't think it sounded forced or overdone. Given the way that Dominique reverts to shutting down, I think he needed to react strongly for her to realize that he deserved to know what was going on with her.

Okay, so then we’re back to plot again, which was a nice shift from the drama and came at just the right time, pacing-wise. Of course Dominique is going to overthink her situation, and it eventually leads her to dissect the moments before her attack.

Everything about her “source” sounded shifty to me. I almost expected this Mr. Dale to request some kind of monetary trade for his information, though he’s probably not THAT shifty. :P I like the way you reserved the name of the woman until the very end. I read it with a good sense of revelation, and it gave that nice little punchy twist to the last scene.

Dale comes across just as Dominique described him to Teddy. He’s extremely full of himself. The way that he writes so formally, and then asks her not to judge her attacker for what he did - the guy basically took a bribe to irreversibly curse someone else. In the best of situations, that’s just wrong. I hope the werewolf community has more than just a simple plan of slapping him on the wrist for that.

That being said, the revelation of the person responsible for staging the attack opens up a whole new set of questions. I hope that Dominique isn't going to let this slide. I have a feeling that Teddy certainly won’t. I think someone needs to go to prison…

So now that I’m well into the story, I feel like I can comment on characterization a little. Dominique feels very consistent throughout what I've read so far, and even though I don’t like how she reacts to things, her thoughts and actions are quite plausible for who you've made her out to be. I feel the same way about Teddy, that he's solid in character, and consistent. He seems to care a great deal about Dominique, and knows her well enough to push her when she needs it.

I spotted something that might be a minor typo:
“I am just glad that the Ministry authorized the making of portkeys by any wizard or witch off age; - “of age” ?

Great that we were matched for the review! I shall try to get in a few more before the end of the month.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you think I captured Fleur well as she is a canon character and kinda hard to write.

I think you're a tad bit too suspicious, let's leave it at that xP

Dominique is definitely pulling away. That's just the way she's 'dealing' with things.

Mr Dale is not a character that many like, that's all I'll say on the matter for now xP

Dominique and Teddy definitely won't let it slide.

I am glad you're liking the story and that you are able to understand Teddy and Dom's characterisations now.

Thanks for pointing that typo. Will correct it!

Thank you!


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Review #34, by MargaretLane Settling

23rd January 2015:
Really like your description at the beginning of the chapter. And I like the insight into how Dominique is feeling even better. Poor, poor girl. She really does have an ordeal to face, even with the Wolfsbane.

*grins* I reckon she could really do with some company and support after what she's been through.

I'd be inclined to put a comma before, "thanks to you guys," when she talks about her headache having gone.

Uh oh, I thought Dominique just didn't feel ready to agree to marriage, considering how muddled up and stressed she was at the time or that she was afraid Teddy was only asking her to show his support and wouldn't have wanted to marry so soon if things had been normal. This sounds like there's more going on.

Yeah, I can see how this would feel like rather a lot to deal with coming on top of the whole werewolf drama. Poor Dominique.

And you know, I think she's right about the marriage thing. I don't think breaking up is the answer, but I do see that this might not be the best time for her to be making such huge decisions as getting engaged.

OK, the mention of the sugar quill is a little coincidental, just because I have a character who is a werewolf and she really likes sugar quills.

No, I don't remember David Dale. Maybe I'll skim back and see if I can find out. I really wonder what it is he can do for her. I hope it's something good; she deserves a break. I can't help wondering if it's something to do with Teddy, mainly because that's what she's just been thinking of. Maybe he's one of Teddy's friends and is bringing a message from him. Or maybe it's something different altogether.

I'd also put a comma before, "Miss Weasley" at the end of the chapter.

This may be personal preference or just different head canons as regards lycanthropy, as I know I sometimes find it difficult to disentangle canon on the matter from my own version and also some of the versions I've read, but it did strike me that after the initial transformation, the whole thing seemed a bit easy. There were a few references to her having a headache and so on, but somehow I didn't really get the feeling of her not feeling well. I don't know WHY that was; you mentioned it a few times, so it might just be by comparison with some other versions which portray the effects of lycanthropy as somewhat worse than you do. I don't know. It just felt a bit rushed or something.

Overall, good chapter. I've been waiting to see how she deals with the transformation.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so happy to see you here for another chapter. You're one of the readers who've stuck by every chapter of this story with every update, so thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.

I am glad you liked the beginning description and stuff. I based it on some vague research so it's good to know it worked.

I think friends and family are really important at such a point so Julia and Vic had to show up.

Thanks for the little pointer on the comma. It's fixed.

There's definitely more going on than just the whole not feeling ready thing - and Dom finally explains it all to the two people who are closest to her. She obviously wasn't able to explain all this to Teddy.

Haha I just felt like after all the stress Dom's been through (both werewolf and non-werewolf related), something sweet like sugar quills would help her xD

Hmm I presumed not a lot of people will remember him. He will definitely be explained in the next chapter. I am loving the speculations though!

Thanks again for the comma pointer, it's fixed!

As for the whole thing seeming a bit easy, I was a little afraid of that. I felt like I should have probably emphasised on the aftermath a bit more - so I guess I'll do that when I get the time and edit. Thanks for the honest opinion!

Thank you so much once again!


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Review #35, by AlexFan Settling

23rd January 2015:
Okay first off, that ending, wow, now I want to know what David Dale could possibly have to offer Dom, although I get the feeling that it might not be good or maybe he's going to offer Dom a position in a werewolf pack or something like that.

Pace: I thought the pace was good, everything went at a really good speed, there was enough information put in to move the story enough but not so much that it started dragging. I liked that feeling of Dom having to get straight back to work as soon as her transformation was over kind of showing how the world didn't stop for her just because she had bigger problems than most people.

Characterization: I thought your Dom was spot on personally. I could picture her pushing the talk with Teddy as far away as possible and keeping herself busy with other things to take her mind off of what she needs to do. I thought everyone else was pretty spot on as well.

So, you know, awesome chapter (as usual).

Author's Response: Thank you once again for your review. I'll try to update much sooner this time as there're only 2 chapters (or possibly one if I decide to combine them) left for this story now. As for David Dale, we'll see.

It's a relief that the pace was good. I was afraid it was dragging a little. Yes, it is definitely like Dom to throw herself into work - and the world definitely doesn't stop for her.

I am so relieved that you find Dom's personality consistent so far. Thank you for your awesome review!


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Review #36, by missatron Dreading The Worst

23rd January 2015:
Hi there! Review tag!

I saw this in the 'Recently Added' section earlier, and thought to myself 'I must read this story as soon as I get the chance'. I'm so happy I got to read it. I quite like werewolf stories, especially when the author builds up tension in the right way. I'm glad that you built up the tension, and the imagery was perfect. Spot on.

You've jumped right into the main plot here, without warning. This can always be a little risky, as the readers might not have a clue as to what is going on, but I liked how you did it. The first sentence was nothing paticularly special, but it set the scene well and flowed on to the following events nicely. I also thought it was good how Dominique had forgotten about the Full Moon. It gives a nice little space for action.

This chapter wasn't boring in the least - it had me leaning over the screen, wanting to shout at Dominique to tell her to run. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to hear me, so that would be pointless.

You have done a great job introducing this story and making it interesting for people to read. I love this. I'll most likely be back for more soon!

Missy ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked this first chapter of the story and I really hope you can come back for more =)

It's good to know you liked the way I built up the tension and the imagery. Yes this was a prologue so it was more action friendly with straight into the plot but the rest of the story is more 'relaxed'.

I am pleased you liked it over all and stuff. Thank you!


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Review #37, by Pixileanin More Bad News

21st January 2015:
Hi! TGS Review Swap Time!

It’s good to see Dominique apologizing for her earlier actions. She’s been taking her fear and anxiety out on the people who are the closest to her, and it wasn't fair. Teddy is a good man for standing by her.
And that Jones lady, I don’t like her at all. I’m with Teddy on this one. An article like this, especially when Dominique is in such a state, is a completely unreasonable thing to ask. It’s not worth the pain, though I don’t think Dominique sees it that way.

Oh gosh, that news was certainly not what Dominique was expecting. I like how you've made the lycanthropy a physical thing, and that you've put consequences to it that affect the characters more than just with the once a month change. It adds another level of gravity to the story, especially since there is another decision that she is going to be forced to make sooner, rather than later. I have a sinking feeling that it has something to do with the news that she was just given.

It makes sense now, why her mother was so upset earlier, and why this conversation would be traumatic for everyone involved.

It was interesting to see Teddy pull away from the conversation to give her family “privacy”, even after she asked him to stay. It’s almost as if he was pulling away from her at the end, and I get the feeling that his emotions aren't wholly in control about this revelation either. It’s obvious that he knew what this was about, and I can’t help but question why he pulled away. Judging from Dominique’s character, her gut reaction to distance herself from everyone when she's in pain, I think this will hurt their relationship later on, but that’s me just guessing.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing =)

Dominique is just very stressed but she's not a bad person so of course she realised and is apologising. As for Delilah Jones, nothing can be said for her character at this moment ;)

I definitely wanted to make lycanthropy as difficult for Dominique as possible (yes I'm evil) so yes the whole baby thing added to the stress of it all. The decision is definitely something about the news.

Teddy's emotions are definitely not in control with the whole ordeal. He is trying his best to be there for Dominique but sooner or later it's going to explode out in the open - but for now Teddy will be by Dom's side whenever she needs him.

I am glad you swapped me with - I'll be reading more of Rabbit Heart for the swap and I hope you get to come back to this story =) Thanks!


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Review #38, by toomanycurls The Worst Had Happened

3rd January 2015:
I'm very embarrassingly late on this review from August for the TGS exchange. I remember reading and reviewing the first chapter at some point because it was so striking and interesting. So, that alone speaks volumes about the quality of your work.

I love this chapter in a very real way. Dom waking up disorientated with her family by her side is amazing. It's written so vividly that I felt like I was going through it with her as well.

Her doubt and realization about something being wrong was quite good. It felt realistic.

I could feel Dom's disbelief as she began to understand what happened to her. Fleur's reaction was totally realistic, as if she's going through all the phases of grief for Dom's future.

Dom's rejection of everyone's comfort was baffling at first but at the end it all came together. the way she lashed out at Teddy was just so sad but dramatic (good drama). I imagine she would see herself as a monster if she saw the worst of what remus could become. I am curious as to why she's not encouraged by the existence of wolfsbane.

Another captivating chapter

-Rose

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you can remember the first chapter, and I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter too. Hope you continue reading. Thank you!

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Review #39, by TidalDragon It Is Time

31st December 2014:
Hello again! It was a very pleasant surprise to see this story in my thread once again and I'm sorry it too me so long to get back to you. I've had some craziness of my own going on lately, though it pales in comparison to what you've been dealing with - a continental move - WOW.

I know when I last reviewed I mentioned that it felt like things had taken a turn away from some of the positives that had made me enjoy this story so much at the start, but I think you came closer to recapturing the magic here. Perhaps it's something about you writing Dominique and her struggle when she's essentially on her own that really drove that, perhaps it's some time away, but I thought this chapter was very well done.

Dominique's thoughts and feelings and the way you characterized her were all very understandable. It's natural in this time that she would feel completely overwhelmed by the prospect of committing to marriage and indeed for the reasons you named.

Likewise, it's understandable that Teddy would be very hurt by her rejection of his proposal. While I disagree with his reaction ultimately, I can see where it comes from and I think Dominique's reaction to that reaction was entirely unhelpful (if understandable given her anger and the chaos she's dealing with). I feel for them both and wonder what (if anything) the future can hold for them.

Outside of characterization, I thought the descriptions and internal thought were your best in several chapters. You used settings nicely to capture the sense of isolation Dominique is feeling and people's expressions well as a launch-pad for Dominique's inner concerns. I would try to continue doing this (or similar) going forward.

Hope this helps!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I know - the continental move was hard!

I am glad you think this chapter was well done, especially since I'm struggling with the next now, so reading this review gives me some motivation.

It's good to know that Dominique's characterisation came across fine, and so did Teddy's hurt. I definitely feel for both of them too - as for the future, it's unclear as of now.

Thank you so much for your lovely comments. I'll definitely work on carrying forward the feelings and descriptions.


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Review #40, by lindslo2012 At The Burrow

2nd December 2014:
Wow it has been awhile since I have read this, but I remembered it right when I started to read this, it's such a good story! ;D
I would feel quite isolated if I were Dom, especially if I saw my boyfriend and sister conversing and then stop talking when I walked up. I was totally surprised at the end when he proposed- and surprised at her reaction, but then again I wasn't. It is a rather hard time for getting engaged with everything going on in her life, I can understand why she is refusing it. I am nervous for what happens next... he won't leave her will he? Eeeek I hope not... I can't believe this just happened. I cant wait to read the rest! As usual, awesome job! Come back and re-request!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you can understand Dom and the situation, and liking the story so far. Thanks =)

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Review #41, by AlexFan It Is Time

27th November 2014:
It’s been a while since I read this story so it’s great to see another chapter! Also, I’m so sorry for taking so long with your review!

If I remember correctly, I was quite upset that Dom had refused Teddy’s proposal last chapter, but after reading this one, I can understand where Dom is coming from. She’s still dealing with the fact that she’s a werewolf and she’s still adjusting to that part of herself, I imagine no one would want to go into something as big as marriage without being sure of who they were and how to deal with being a werewolf.

Wow, miscommunication seems to be a problem in Teddy and Dom’s relationship at the moment. I can understand what she means when she says that she expected Teddy of all people to understand and figure out why she didn’t want to get married so soon, at the same time, Dom never really explained herself either so what she might’ve assumed obvious, was clearly not the case for Teddy.

I liked this chapter and how it focused on Dom’s anxiety, because of course she would be anxious, and her situation with Teddy would most certainly add to that nervousness. I like how you kept building up to the transformation little by little throughout the story, I was so sure that the entire thing would be in this chapter but only the beginning seemed to have made it in.

Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter and how the entire transformation goes for Dom and what it’s going to feel like for her.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for your review. I'm really sorry for the late response.

I am glad you understood Dom's reasoning for turning down the proposal. Miscommunication is definitely the problem here as is for most couples.

I tried to show as much of Dom's turmoil as I could so I am pleased it got through to you. Indeed, it's only the beginning of the transformation here. The full transformation is in the next chapter.

Thanks!


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Review #42, by Moonyxluna Decisions and Discoveries

23rd November 2014:
Hey AD I'm here with your requested review! Sorry about the wait on this one! I usually don't like to make you wait this long, but NaNo has been beating me a lot :p

I really liked your intro to this story. Same with the other things I've read from you, you really capture the sense of fear that Dominique has here about werewolves, even though she's grown up knowing people close to werewolves all her life.

In chapter two I really loved the introduction/dream sequence. I definitely thought it was real! hah. One thing in that chapter I was kind of surprised about - and this isn't really cc as much as a character analysis - but the second she got out of the paralytic charm she told them that she was fine, and tried to ease their worries. It was sweet of her, and said a lot about her character. Ah, and you hit me right in the Remus feels with Dominique throwing Teddy's dad's history right back at him. heh.

I thought the little flashback in chapter three about Vic/Teddy/Dominique was really sweet. I could completely understand Dominique's panic towards her sister, and Vic was so lovely about the whole thing. It really provided a nicely placed background information for the rest of the story. I also thought Dominique's boss was kind of saccharine in the way she spoke to her; a little 'too good to be true' also. Though, I was sensing a bit of apprehension from Dominique, and it was kind of strange of her boss to just offer her compensation. Normally when accidents at work happen like that, the employee has to be the one to bring up compensation, because the job doesn't want to pay for it unless they have to. So that makes me a little suspicious because it looks like she's trying to just cover it up. I also loved the part about her looking at the bite mark; I'm hoping she'll be able to move on from it - or heal, but maybe I'm getting my werewolf mythologies in different fandoms mixed up :p - either way, I'm looking forward to it.

In chapter four the moment when Dominique finally opens up to Teddy was very sweet. I really like him so far; he seems like he's going to be a rock for her. And I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one (Teddy too) who doesn't like the way Dominique's boss spoke to her! Thought it was a little strange that Teddy - the only one she opened up to so far - left in a flurry of apologizes after telling her she was going to get more bad news. I'd think he'd want to be there.
As you are aware of, you have been bitten by a werewolf -- heh, puns. But I actually wanted to point this out because it did make me laugh unintentionally, but I also wanted to just point out that you don't really need the 'of' - if you edit. It's really minor.

And onto chapter five! As I start this chapter I'm really interested in the limitations her healer is putting on her; the child birth thing! I'm wondering how much of his medical talk is true, and how much is crafted by the ministry/healers just so werewolves won't reproduce. I don't know if that's something that you have planned into this fic, so I'll have to read on to see!

It was a sad/sweet moment with Vic/Dom/Fleur, where Fleur is promising to be there for Dominique. It was nice to see that little bit from the books where Fleur stayed by Bill coming through.

I really like how you write Dominique so far. She seems like such a real person. She's hit with this absolutely tragic thing, and as much as she seems like she wants to be strong for her family and strong for Teddy, she still is not doing well with the whole idea. It really gives her realistic qualities that I admire of you as the writer.

So, we ended on the bit of a cliffhanger about a 'decision' in chapter four. I think I was expecting a little bit more of an explanation in chapter five, if that makes sense? Or even in chapter four. We get the medical reasoning for why she can't have children, but I don't actually find out what the decision is until partway into chapter five. We have the little sentimental moment, but I was sort of distracted through it because I was confused about what the decision was supposed to be. The cliffhanger left off at four so it felt like the first sentence of chapter five should have been what the decision actually was supposed to be. I'd have liked to know a little sooner, flow-wise.

Teddy and Dominique could always adopt! It still feels a little bit like the Healers, and even her family a little, are trying to rush Dominique into making a very rash decision that could change her life forever. Surely there has to be something else that they can do to prevent pregnancy/lycanthrophy spreading? Will have to read on!

I think the jump from Dominique wanting to talk to Teddy about things, and the 'Six hours later' was a little too abrupt. We had the phrase 'six hours later' but there wasn't really any transition sentences before it to indicate that a change of scenery was about to happen. Maybe a sentence or two that she 'got to talk to Teddy' and then 'headed off for St. Mungo's', or really just something to indicate to the reader what's happening. - This wasn't really a common thing through the story; I've really enjoyed everything so far and I think everything as flowed really well, and the plot/story line is fantastic.

OH NO! Plot twist! I didn't think for one second that the Ministry could have put the charms. I was sort of under the impression that it was just the wolves that did it for their own protection/the village's protection, but that's an amazing twist if the Ministry did it, and caused the attack on purpose.

To summarize, I have really enjoyed this so far. I think you hit the meaty plot out of the park with this chapter's introductions, and I can't wait to read more. Feel free to re-request!

Julie
(ah, so close to the character limit :p)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked the intro and the fear of Dominique. Yes Dominique is the kind of person who'll want to not worry the people around her so she'll be all about "I"m fine". I had a lot of Remus feels writing that bit too yeah!

I am glad you liked the flashback as well. I just wanted to show some background into Teddy/Dom's relationship through it. The boss is definitely...fishy. As for the bite mark, Dom's been scarred with it for life, so unfortunately she won't heal but she will probably come to terms with it.

I love Teddy too - he's the perfect boyfriend and I enjoy writing him so I'm glad you like his character. Thanks for pointing out that little typo, I'll fix it.

Well, in my opinion, the medical talk is true, as I did quite some research and it would be dangerous for the baby in the womb during the transformation since the uterus itself changes, so yeah.

I am happy you like the Bill/Fleur/VIc dynamic with Dom as well. It's so nice to know that you find Dom realistic, thanks.

I'll consider what you've said about the cliffhanger/decision, and see if I can edit the chapter to make the decision a bit clearer in the beginning itself.

Everyone is definitely rushing into the decision but i think it's part of the impending transformation of Dom and partly the healer's insistence. Plus Dom wants to get it over with quickly so she doesn't have to dwell on it.

Thanks for that little tip about the time jump. I'll go back and see if I can make the transition smoother.

As for who caused the attack, you'll have to wait and read.

Thanks a lot once again for all your lovely comments!


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Review #43, by teh tarik It Is Time

23rd November 2014:
Hi AD!! ♥

I'm here like I said I would be...though a lot later than promised. *hides* So sorry, love! I've been struggling with balancing things but I finally managed to take some time to read your latest chapter (so glad to be getting back into the story...I'd forgotten quite a bit of the last chapter, so I had to skim through it briefly). Oh yeah, THAT disastrous proposal.

Aww, this chapter was pretty angst-filled, but I think it's appropriate; after all, Dom and Teddy are going through quite a rough patch in their relationship. On hindsight, perhaps Teddy's proposal wasn't such a good idea, given the timing. It definitely would have made more sense for him to wait a little while for them both to settle with the new changes to their lives. But still, i do like his commitment. Proposing to her was like offering to seal the deal: that no matter how tough things get with Dom's lycanthropy, that he'd always be with her. But obviously Dom isn't really, which is also equally understandable.

I really loved the exchange you wrote between them in this chapter. It's a long exchange, and one that's very passionate and emotion-filled. I think your dialogue is very good; it's certainly very meaningful and direct, and it doesn't skirt around issues. I like how open and sincere the conversation between them was; I've been reading a few too many snark fics haha, so this is refreshing. :) It's quite sad that despite such a deep conversation, the two can't quite reach an understanding between each other. Personally, I feel that Teddy should hold back a little and he definitely should NOT have left Dom alone at such a vulnerable moment of her life.

I love the contrast between Teddy's treatment of her and the caring support she gets from Bill and Fleur - those letters were wonderful. I'm glad that DOm still has people to turn to.

I think you did an excellent job of describing the transformation with wolfsbane potion; it definitely sounds unpleasant but not completely unbearable. Still, you ended on a cliffhanger, my dear!!

I'm really glad to be back in this story, AD! Sorry it has taken me quite a while, but this was a great chapter! I don't think you need to worry so much about this, and I do hope you get the next one up soon (and hopefully writer's block is gone for like FOREVER). ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hey Nicole!

Thank you so much for stopping by to check this out. It means a lot to me and your review brought a huge smile on my face! I am sorry I didn't reply sooner, I was just caught up in a lot of RL stuff!

Teddy's proposal was definitely not a good idea, at least not in Dom's point of view. I'm glad you liked the open conversation they had; I have had too many of similar arguments (though not on the same issues obviously) with my exes so I kinda just used that knowledge here xP Somehow, at the end of such conversations, you never do reach satisfying conclusions - that's the sad thing.

I am pleased you liked the little bit about Dom's family support as well as the transformation. More on that later!

Thank you!


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Review #44, by wolfgirl17 It Is Time

17th November 2014:
FREEBIE ALERT!

So much drama in this chapter!

It all felt very One Tree Hill season 5 ish to me what with her saying no and him doubting her love and her using him. So much selfishness on both parts. I still think Dom is the more selfish of the two. Yes it makes sense to want to get herself right first, but I do kind of feel like she's using him.

There is a big difference between Loving someone and Needing someone. At the moment I think she needs Teddy and she might love him, but not enough. It was right of her to say no because they probably would've ended up unhappy.

By the same token though, Teddy's actions were ill-thought-out and poorly planned. He should've realised she needed support and help, not just 'more love' in the package of a proposal. That's kind of like having someone offer you their help for a price. I'll help you, but only if you marry me.

And this review is getting out of hand. I'm too emotionally invested in your characters!

Anyway, I liked it. I want to know about the transformation and how it all goes for her. =)

xx-Wolfgirl.

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for the freebies xD

I am pleased you liked all the drama and stuff here. I have never watched One Tree Hill so I can't relate with what you're saying but I guess it's a good thing so I'm happy you liked it =)

You definitely grasped the crux of what I was trying to convey with the whole loving/needing someone thing so yay!

Oh if only Teddy and Dom were rational beings, so much drama wouldn't ensue xP

I am glad you're invested in my characters! *proud writer moment*

Thanks a lot once again!


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Review #45, by wolfgirl17 At The Burrow

17th November 2014:
Oh look, a freebie! =)

I really love the way you describe Teddy in this chapter as being so loving and supportive and accepting of her condition, and I totally hate the way you have Dom say no to his proposal. It just seems so selfish on her behalf. He's obviously pointed out that he loves her and wants to marry her, even though she's a werewolf who can't have kids and is often insensitive to him, and she just rejects him.

I'm assuming you have reasons for this, but I must admit I love Dom a little less for her saying no. After all, it takes a lot of courage for a man to get down on one knee and ask his partner to marry him. To just say no with no explanation just seems so mean =(

Anyway, clearly you've elicited an emotional response from me more than once in this story. I know this review probably hasn't been even remotely helpful, I'm pretty much just gushing and rambling now.

But I'm blaming that on you for your brilliant writing skills. =)

On to chapter 9!

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Yay for freebies!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I am pleased you like my Teddy; both of them are right in their own places and we see more of that in the next chapter.

Aww no don't love Dom less =(

I love your reviews so no problem at all xD Thanks!


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Review #46, by wolfgirl17 A Ray of Light

17th November 2014:
Hey Aditi.

Wolfgirl here with your review (finally). Sorry it took me a while I've been writing like crazy on a new idea of mine so I was a little sidetracked. I did stop by Dragonology though, and loved it.

I have to admit, the first time I read this chapter, I thought this was the last in this story. You'd wrapped up the mystery and left us with good feelings of how Dom might cope with her condition. It's nice that there is more, obviously, what with the way I've been begging you for more, but you could easily have ended it here.

I like the amount of psychology you put in this story. I like the reasons for Delilah going all nutty and doing such crazy things. I like the calculating way she tried to manipulate Dom by simultaneously alienating her within the wizarding world thanks to her curse, but also with the intention from profitting from that alienation by making people like Dom less and by having a column about it that would sell the paper even better.

That's a particular kind of heinous that I was surprised to see popping up in the world of fan fiction. Not because HP doesn't have some intriguing psych stuff and all, but because ordinarily fans want to make the character's lives better or worse and so this kind of ugly side of humanity isn't portrayed so much. Probably because who wants to fantasize about that darker side of the human psyche other than psychopaths and mystery writers??

Anyway, I think you know by now that your characterization and flow and plot and all that stuff is great and that I love the story. It's been a lot of fun reading this one. I still love the werewolf idea and I'm looking forward to swooping over to chapter nine and reading the newest installment.

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing =)
It definitely does feel like a last chapter doesn't it? I considered ending it here, but I wanted to show some of the werewolf stuff and bring the story to a different closure.

I am pleased you liked the 'psychology' of it all. I definitely enjoyed writing it. I love writing about the 'darker' side of the human psyche - a lot of my stories briefly explore those themes at times too!

Thanks again for all your lovely words!


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Review #47, by marauderfan It Is Time

14th November 2014:
Hey Aditi! Here with your requested review. Ahh, I'm sorry this took me as long as it did - truth be told, I read it and then had no CC, only praise, and decided that wouldn't be too useful so I'd just come back and do it later. So here I am :p

I love the way you started out, with Dominique's first attempts at a letter to Teddy, it really captures here state of confusion and well, it's probably not the sort of thing she can explain in a letter anyway, so I'm kind of glad she never sent it.

Although I'm really sad at the situation of Dominique and Teddy's relationship, I love the way you've shown how each side makes so much sense - and really if the two of them just step into each other's shoes for a moment, I think it would alleviate a lot of the misunderstanding. Like I can completely understand why Teddy is crushed that the girl he has been with through all the hard times, won't even give him a chance. And of course I sympathise with Dominique because why on earth would she want to leap into marriage just when she's beginning to find herself again (not to mention is about to go through a scary transformation for the first time!) I am really glad they talked openly and just said their honest feelings. But I'm sad that they ended on a sad note :(

Hermione is wonderful. I adore the way you write her - I could see her loosening up on rules and such over time (especially as she's married to Ron, who probably constantly reminds her "oh remember when you broke all those rules to make Polyjuice Potion?") She's so perceptive and really looks out for Dom and I just loved how she checked up on her and makes sure she'll be okay in the safe house.

And oh that letter from her parents ♥ so sweet. Dom has such a wonderful support network and I'm so glad she is finally appreciating that :)

The beginning of the description of transformation is so great - it's really vivid. But I can't believe you ended the chapter there. (I feel like I say this every time because you are like the master of cliffhangers. Grr. :P )

And honestly, there is very little I have to critique about this chapter. Here is one thing though:
“Teddy, I love you,” those were the first words she had been able to speak -- That's really two separate sentences. Rather than a comma after 'you', it should be a full stop and then the next word would be a new sentence: "Teddy, I love you." Those were the first words... etc.

Otherwise, yeah this is a solid chapter. Really good work.

(Also you say you've got 2 chapters left and are aiming for a finish date of January 2015? One of my WIP's is in the same exact situation. We should race. :P But anyway, I'm really looking forward to your next chapter!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for your wonderful review.

Haha I don't mind no CC reviews, they make me happy xP

I am glad you liked the starting with the letter. I definitely thought it better not to send it too.

It's a relief to hear that you could see that the whole Teddy/Dom argument made sense and it didn't come across as forced. I tried my best to express the hurt on both sides and show how the misunderstanding alleviates. It is sad that it ended on a sad note but lets see how things turn out further.

It's awesome to know you like the way I write Hermione because I worry so much, her being a main canon character and all.

I definitely wanted to re-emphasise that Dom's family is with her so I am glad you caught on to that.

Haha I love cliffhangers xP We'll definitely be exploring the transformation further though, so that's a hint for you!

Thanks for pointing out that little mistake. I'll edit and sort it out.

Thanks again for your lovely review!! And haha good luck for your WIP!


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Review #48, by wolfgirl17 Meetings and more.

11th November 2014:
Hey Aditi!

Love the cliffhanger. There was so much drama in this chapter! Mr Young, and Delilah's betrayal and everything else.

As always the chapter is fantastic, and extra long =)

Your characterization is great, Teddy being so protective and Dom being a little confused and then so angry and it's all just coming together. It's getting harder to do these reviews because I'm so in love with the story that I feel like I'm just rambling on you. Knowing what's coming makes it hard to refine my review to each chapter as well without giving things away and commenting on how well everything links up.

Your flow in this story is really good. It's fast paced enough that the reader stays intrigued and keeps reaching for that next chapter button, but in-depth enough that we know what's going on and are interested in the entire thing. I'm going to be so sad when this story is done.

I'm still so curious about Julia and how you're going to fit her into the rest of the tale. Is she maybe in on the plot somehow? A vampire? I feel like if Delilah's crazy enough to make Dom a werewolf, she might be exploiting her other employees the same way.

Maybe that's just wishful thinking... I'll stop before I run away with your plot. Keep up the brilliant work. I'd love to see some more werewolf action coming up!

xx-Ellie =)

Author's Response: Hey Ellie!

I am pleased you're enjoying the drama and the cliffhanger. It's a relief to know you like the characterisation of Dom and Teddy. Haha I'm glad you are liking the story so much and I honestly I don't mind what kinda reviews you give xP

I am pleased you like the flow as well. I'll definitely be sad when it's done too.

Haha Julia is just that harmless supportive friend to stay by her side -- nothing wrong with her xP

Thanks!


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Review #49, by wolfgirl17 Decisions and Discoveries

9th November 2014:
Hey Aditi!

This chapter was so heart-breaking! I was so sad reading because it's just so twisted up and heart-wrenching. I can't imagine ever having to go through something like that, but I can imagine the way it would make me feel inadequate as a woman, and would put some strain on any relationship. I like the way you have charactrized Teddy as being so wonderful and understanding and loving. I'm sure that in his place lesser men might've crumbled, but he's always so steadfast. I just love him! This story makes me want a Teddy Lupin! (That could be the metamorphagus thing too though, because that would be awesome!)

I love the way you've gone into more depth with Fleur and Victoire, and the way you've added this extra facet to Dom when she's already so deep too. It really makes the story that much more relatable and that much more brilliant!

I also love the newest plot point. I was so shocked when I read it. I mean, I wondered vaguely in the first chapter is there was someone plotting against her. But at the time I thought it was whichever one of the werewovles from the pack she'd been interviewing that had been so difficult and made her wait around until the day of the full moon (I'm assuming this was the one who bit her) and I thought that was why she hadn't been able to get away, but knowing where you're taking this, (once again due to the fact that I'm in love with the story and have been re-reading it) just makes it all the more shocking and unsettling. It's so much more intriguing too, because at first the idea of the werewolf who bit her doing it made me think that the guy had a crush on her or was some sociopath, but knowing his reasons for doing it, well it just makes it that much more fantastic and upsetting and wonderful all at the same time!

I think the foundation of the plot that you lay down here is a really important one because of the way it leads to such an ugly human reaction. You really caught human nature as it can be at it's worst and brought it to life in this story, which is a really rare talent.

I mean, it's easy to write some fluffy piece and capture the loving side of humanity, but to be able to so effectively convey that darker side of the human psyche is a very rare gift and one that really sets this story apart. The fact that you've included werewolves too just makes it all that much more breath-taking.

I wish I'd known about this story before the Dobby's were done, because I'd have nominated you for pretty much everything! You've got such an amazing story built here and so much depth and human emotion mixed in with enough supernatural stuff to keep it interesting on the werewolf front.

I can't wait for a new update!

xx-Wolfgirl17

Author's Response: Hey!

I am pleased you found this chapter emotional as that was my aim. It is certainly a very painful and sad thing for someone to go through. I wish I had a Teddy in my life too - he is just so awesome xD

Your comments are so, so lovely; I am so happy that find my story relatable and like the way I've dealt with Fleur and Vic.

I enjoyed writing the newest plot point as well; I set it up from the first chapter when she couldn't apparate out of the cottage and the particular wolf came by her door, bit her, and then left her. So it was interesting to explore that further in this chapter.

Wow, so many awesome comments. I really, really don't know how to thank you for such kind words. Thank you so much! I am so glad you think I've caught the human nature well.

Omg you have totally made my week by saying you wanted to nominate my story for the Dobby's. You've no idea how much that means to me. Thank you a million times for such amazing comments! I love you!!

And yes, the newest chapter (Chapter 9) just got validated =)


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Review #50, by nott theodore It Is Time

8th November 2014:
Review tag!

I'm really glad to see this story back, and I would have come to review it anyway, but when I saw you in tag I couldn't resist - I'm so busy with NaNo and everything else going on right now that I had to give myself a proper excuse to get round to reviewing!

After that last cliffhanger that you left us on, with Teddy proposing to Dom and us not knowing her answer, I've been wondering what it was that she would say, and when I started this chapter my worst fears were kind of confirmed. Although at first I thought that the letter she was writing was one to break up with him or something, so at least this was an improvement on that!

I really liked the way that you started off with the letter, easing us back into the story almost - it was a really effective way of reminding me what had happened at the end of the last chapter without explicitly stating it.

My heart kind of sank when I found out that she'd run away from Teddy - after all he's done for her, and all that he's tried to be there, it was a really horrible thing to do. In a way, though, I can understand her reasoning; I think for Dom, at least, it does make sense that she doesn't feel ready to get married when she's still trying to come to terms with who she's become now that she's been bitten. It shows an awareness that you need more than just loving each other for marriage, which I think is quite mature of her, but the way that she handled it wasn't at all mature and I can't blame Teddy for being hurt and upset after all that they've been through together. He could so easily have given up earlier, a month ago when she was first bitten, but he didn't, and she owes him something for that.

I really like the way that you write Hermione, although in a way I'm a bit surprised to hear that the older generation - the parents and aunts and uncles - haven't heard what happened the night before. Even if Victoire tried to cover for her, I'd have thought they'd have tried to find out just what had been so important that Dom left without telling them. Nevertheless, it was great that Hermione came to remind her of the potion and take her to the safe house too, ready for her transformation. In some senses, I'd almost forgotten that she had that to go through as well, but I'm glad that her family were there for her. And the letter from her parents was really sweet, too.

The scene with Teddy was really well written, and as frustrating as it was to see them arguing like that and not taking the step back they need from the situation, I found it very realistic for what had happened. Teddy is understandably really hurt and upset after the way that Dominique rejected him, and the fact that he turned up there proved how much he cared - but of course Dom can't deal with that sort of judgement or discussion in her current state of mind and so she lashed out at him once more. I really hope that the two of them are going to be alright and that they can sort this out eventually!

And no, the ending is so scary and depressing. After going through everything else, you did a great job of reminding us that Dom still has to go through her transformation every month, and this is the first experience that she has of it, although at least it's less painful now.

This was a great chapter, and I hope you manage to update a bit more quickly next time! ;)

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian!

As always, it's a pleasure to read your reviews, and I'm glad you came by to check out this chapter. Thank you =)

Haha I am glad the cliffhanger got you thinking.

I felt like it'd be a fitting way to show what's on in Dom's head instead of just narrating it all out so I'm pleased you liked the letter thing.

Well yeah it was not a very nice thing to do, but Teddy caught Dom off-guard, she panicked, and as she reasons, she is just not ready for that kind of commitment at this moment. I do agree that she definitely didn't handle this maturely though. Poor Teddy.

I am glad you liked the way I write hermione, I am always so worried about writing her because she's a main canon character. Well, Dominique did leave suddenly and since she's been through so much lately, I'd say the elders would simply assume she'd want some space and the gathering was too much for her (as she has been so distant from them all this time), so they didn't question Vic when she told them that Dom was feeling sick and left.

Well the transformation is something that is inevitable, so Hermione would definitely take charge and prepare everything for Dom. I'm also glad you liked that letter because I didn't want the readers to forget that Dom's family still cares for her.

It's a relief to know you found the argument realistic as I was afraid it'd come across as forced. Yes, Teddy was very hurt and therefore he lashed out at Dom, but instead of trying to pacify him, Dom's temper flew out of control as well, especially with her being so moody before the transformation, and so she lashed back at him. Sometimes, the smallest of misunderstandings can bring gaps in the best of relationships.

It is definitely less painful, but it's in no way painless. And we'll be seeing more of the transformation and its aftermath in the next chapter.

I'll definitely try to update more quickly this time! Thank you once again for all your kind words!


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