Reading Reviews for The Worst
  
310 Reviews Found

Review #26, by pointless_proclamations Settling

29th January 2015:
We really must get around to discussing the name of the entire story. It's very misleading, Aditi. This story is far from the worst thing I've read!

I think this chapter showed her relationship with Vic and Julia wonderfully! There is so much unconditional love between them and it's beautiful and I love it!!

I think the way you're handling the relationship between Dominique and Teddy is amazing! You explained it so well.

AND ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER. Goodness, I hope he can help her out some.

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Once again, I have to give you a huge thank you for reading and reviewing ALL the chapters. This has made me incredibly happy. Thank you so much! I am so happy that you liked this story - the title is all about the worst that could happen to Dominique so I'm afraid I can't change that xP Thanks again!

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Review #27, by pointless_proclamations It Is Time

29th January 2015:
ADITI!

Okay, these two, Dominique and Teddy, they have a lot of talking to do. There is so much misunderstanding between them at the moment that can be fixed with communication. Communication is key.

I see now that they really should have discussed marriage before he proposed. That might have ruined the surprise, but at least there would have been an understanding. And then Dominique should have stayed and explained, but I really don't blame her for apparating out of there. It really has been such a stressful month for her and, goodness, can she not get a break to just breathe for a moment?! I feel for her. . . Must you stress her out so much?

I also don't blame Teddy either. I mean dude's madly in love with her and he's so kind and supportive. My heart aches for him.

I must commend the way you have built up to all of this! It's incredibly impressive. Again, wonderful work. :D

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: EM!

You marvellous person, you. Thank you once again for you reviews. I really can't thank you enough.

I am pleased you liked the way they discussed and stuff. Communication is definitely the key. It was not even about the surprise - Teddy just was jumping into things too quickly. He's not as perfect as everyone makes him out to be after all. Poor Dom, I do stress her out a lot.

Thank you!


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Review #28, by pointless_proclamations At The Burrow

29th January 2015:
ADITI!!!

WHY?! MUST YOU?!

But they are so happy together! And I THOUGHT THEY WORKED IT OUT! And, and ARGHH!

It seemed like such a harmless chapter. The atmosphere was great, things were going SO well, the family was all jolly and happy, Teddy even has this wonderful little speech AND THEN DOM SAYS NO?! BUT THEY LURVE EACH OTHER!

What's going on?! I'm really sad now.

Cheers,
Em :(

Author's Response: Gah they had worked it out - or was that just on the surface? We go deeper into that in the next 2-3 chapters. Thank you so much again for your reviews. I'm sorry for making you sad!

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Review #29, by pointless_proclamations A Ray of Light

29th January 2015:
DELILAH IS SO BONKERS AND I DESPISE HER! Goodness gracious, what a vile creature. Very egocentric. My word!

The build up to that confession was FABULOUS. Writing such incredibly tense scenes and still seeming to maintain control of the said scene seems to be a strong point of yours. Wonderful work, Aditi!

You have made me so emotionally invested in this story that the feelings I got when she confessed and they had her!! AHH! It just felt so good. . .

And, aww, that lighthearted scene was like a breath of fresh air from all the good angst you had built up inside me. Thank you for that bit of relief.

. . . BUT I JUST STARTED READING! HOW CAN IT BE ENDING, ADITIII! :D

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Aha I'm glad you despise Delilah because she's meant to be despised! I am so happy you enjoyed the build up to the confession - I was afraid it was too rushed but I'm so relieved to read your comments. Thank you so much!
And yes it will end soon - it's just a novella!


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Review #30, by pointless_proclamations Meetings and more.

29th January 2015:
The tenseness in this chapter!!! MUST YOU END ALL YOUR CHAPTERS WITH CLIFFHANGERS?!

I think that, once again, you have produced another wonderfully suspenseful chapter. Goodness, this is getting addicting.

Wilson Young seems like he isn't very much of a villain. I mean he did offer Dominique the company of fellow werewolves and he isn't the most nasty of characters. I actually feel kind of sorry for him. He just really needs the money, doesn't he? But then that just speaks to his decision-making abilities. Which is to say that it is poor. Turning an innocent woman cannot be the only way to earn money, however fast and easy it may be. In that respect, I don't like him too much. I do, however, admire the way you've characterised him! Brilliant work on your part.

Julia is another wonderfully characterised character. I admire how she isn't prejudiced. Disease does not define a person, however it may influence behaviour sometimes, as you have explored really nicely.

A little typo in the author's note: 'imrpove.' Other than that, this is just your usual brilliant writing. :D

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Yes, I must end all chapters with cliffhangers because I love them so xP But I love you too! THANK YOU!

I am pleased you're liking the chapter. Yes, Young is more of a pawn than a villain. Of course, he does lack conscience.

I'm pleased you like Julia too - she's Dom's best friend and our best friends don't judge us =)


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Review #31, by pointless_proclamations Decisions and Discoveries

29th January 2015:
AGAIN, ADITI! REALLY?! IS THIS ALL REALLY NECESSARY?!

Oh my goodness! The plot in itself is a wonderful piece of work, but your execution of it adds so much to the story.

Here begins a mystery of sorts! Why would Jones do this? What were her motives? Did she have any beyond just getting juicy stories? Why Dominique and not anybody else? Is there some sort of personal vendetta? What is Dominique going to do about this? Are Jones and Young going to get arrested? What in the world is going on? How are you so good at this? Why do you write so well? Why are you doing this? Are you trying to drive me insane?

SO MANY QUESTIONS I HAVE BECAUSE OF THE SHEER AMAZINGNESS OF THIS STORY! ARGHHH!

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Have I told you how much I love you? BECAUSE I DO! Thank you for such amazing reviews! Yes, unfortunately this is all necessary - it's part of Dom's 'growth' process. The poor thing. At least Teddy's with her. And as for the mystery, it gets solved. soon.

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Review #32, by pointless_proclamations More Bad News

29th January 2015:
YOU ARE A CRUEL, CRUEL PERSON, ADITI!

First, you relieve me by assuring me that Teddy and Dominique are going to be fine. And I think that's wonderful because she needs him as a sort of support system right now and then you do THAT.

But before you do THAT, you write the most wonderful explanation about pregnancy and werewolves and, as fond as I am of biology, I think you are ingenious. This is awesome stuff! Supremely well thought-out!

THAT is when you leave the chapter with an unbearable amount of suspense. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS DECISION?! And what will Dominique choose to do?! ARGHHH!!

Your tortured reader,
Em

Author's Response: Thank you for yet again a wonderful review!

Haha Dom and Teddy will be going through a lot of ups and downs in this chapter!


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Review #33, by pointless_proclamations Reflecting and Brooding

29th January 2015:
Again, ADITI! What are you doing to me?!?! What have I ever done to you?! :P

A wee little typo here, I think: 'She giggled before planting a chaste kiss on her lips.' Did you mean Teddy's lips? So 'his?'

Anyways, goodness I love the background story you have in this chapter! It was a marvellous insight to her life and attitude before she was bitten. You've successfully shown just how much her sister means to her and how close they are. Vic is so supportive and sweet!

Dominique's boss. . . What a horrible person! You've hinted at her rather malicious-looking side and oooh. This is interesting. She's still kind of prejudiced against werewolves, isn't she?!

Teddy seems like a lovely guy and I hope that he's not going to break up with her right now because I don't think she needs that right now. I think she needs him to pacify her slightly and reassure her some. These two should talk it out. TELL ME THEY WILL!

Again, another lovely chapter with such well-developed characters!

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Naw you've been ever so nice to me with such awesome reviews, I'm sorry for torturing my characters to torture you xP

Thanks for the typo. It'll be fixed.

I am pleased you liked the little background info there. Dominique's boss is definitely horrid and Teddy is totally amazing. I'm glad you're catching on to everyone's personalities!

Thank you!


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Review #34, by pointless_proclamations The Worst Had Happened

29th January 2015:
IS EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS, ADITI?!

This is fascinating stuff you have explored! AH! She's been infected! And how interesting that they should take the Wolfsbane potion and still she gets attacked! I have two theories.

1) It was not someone from the pack.

2) The Lycantrophy virus is evolving to become more resistant to Wolfsbane because viruses are mean and strange like that.

I must commend the way you describe things--your descriptive abilities. OH MY GOODNESS! With particular attention to the beginning bits, WOW. You and the way you write suspense! Really, it read like a mental movie. I need popcorn to read this wonderful story of yours. You drive me insane!

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Aw thank you again! I am glad you like the way I've explored stuff here, as well as my descriptions. Thank you!

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Review #35, by pointless_proclamations Dreading The Worst

29th January 2015:
Dear Aditi,

HOLY COW WHAT IS THIS?! Good grief, my poor racing heart. Allow me a moment to gather my thoughts.

Okay, you wrote well. No, AMAZINGLY well. The suspense was written magnificently! How do you do that?!

Your characterisation of Dominique as someone who fears werewolves is really interesting, given that she's turning into one. To become what you fear, I am so excited to read on to see what she's makes of this!!!

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: You have no idea how happy your reviews have made me! Thank you so much! I am glad this chapter got you excited to read on!

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Review #36, by Lostmyheart Dreading The Worst

29th January 2015:
Aditi!

I'm finally here for the Slytherin Review Exchange ! And I am so sorry for the delay.

This was such an interesting beginning of your story! And I mean it! *throws thousands of exclamation marks your way*
I can feel my heart beat so fast, and I was so scared for her. And I love that you have a Dominique/Teddy pairing! Though you only mentioned him a little, but I just rarely see that kind of pairing. Go Teddy!

Dominique, a journalist. I like that. It's different, and I like that the Weasley's get different/unusual jobs, rather than the most obvious ones like Auror, some-rank-at-the-ministry or a Healer (not that I don't like those jobs, but it's nice to see something else, you know?)

I really like her character, and that she isn't a Gryffindor! It matches perfectly with her being a little scared, yet stubborn. Ravenclaw. Well, they can't all be Gryffindor's, and we have to think of her mother, who wasn't a Hogwarts student - so that can give different House sortings for their children.

I seriously love this beginning, and I might consider moving on to the next chapter. Despite my homework and housecleaning. They seem to boring compared to reading the rest of your story.

I will most definitely put this into my favorites, because I want to see what happens with Dominique and so on.

- Avi

Author's Response: Hey! No worries about the delay =)

I am glad you like the way I've started my story. Teddy/Dominique is a rare pairing but I love them to bits so I hope you enjoy the way I've portrayed them in this story. I have put some bits of myself into Dominique, and the way her character is, I feel a journalist is the best fit for her =) Thank you for all your kind words, and I hope you continue to read and enjoy the rest of the story!


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Review #37, by lindslo2012 It Is Time

28th January 2015:
Hey,
Have I mentioned how much I LOVE YOUR STORY?
I am in love with it.
So, first of all.. Teddy's rejected proposal.. well, honestly I am kind of on either of their sides. And you did SO well with every aspect of detail on their conversation about it that I feel like I am standing right there with them as a friend witnessing all this go on. I am so impressed at how well you write and I can't wait to continue reading! Back to what I was saying.. I can understand why Teddy is so hurt, he's kind of lost and doesn't understand what he is supposed to do right now. And I can understand his feeling like she is distant from him since this is such a huge change in her life. I can understand how terribly pained he feels that he was wrong in thinking that this proposal will make everything a little bit better for them. Now on the other hand, Dom knows exactly what is right and what is not right for her.. or at least she has some idea what she wants now that she's started to settle with what she is. I think she does need a little more time before deciding to marry Teddy, she's not really at a place in her situation where something as big as this would be a good thing to her mentally and emotionally. As she cried out to him I could FEEL the love she had for him, but it's just not the right time... oh I do hope Teddy will forgive her for breaking his heart a little bit. But I guess time shall tell. I am so happy that I have been with you throughout your whole book so far, it has been amazing. Please come and re-request!

-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so, so much for your kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying my story so much! I will definitely re-request for the next chapter too.
I am glad you could understand both Dom and Teddy's sides. That was my aim =)
Thank you!


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Review #38, by Infinityx Settling

27th January 2015:
I'm baaack.

Dom is so strong and I totally understand her rationale behind refusing Teddy's proposal. But she doesn't seem to be very good at putting her thoughts and feelings forward in the best manner. I mean, yeah, she seems to be thinking about the right things and understands Teddy a lot, but she's not the best at expressing those. And I love that about her. No one's the best at everything and this was a great way of showing Dom's hot-headed side.

I really like how you described the transformation as well. It's always interesting to read about different people's takes on that since there's not much information available and you've written it brilliantly.

Julia and Vic are the best.

David Dale? The wolf pack Chief? Is he here to offer her a place with them? :o
Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Yes, Dom has been very strong and hopefully she'll continue to be. I'm glad you understood the rationale behind the rejection. She is definitely not good at expressing herself very well to Teddy - that's her flaw.

I'm pleased you liked the transformation and Julia & Vic's arrival too.

David Dale is indeed the wolf pack chief. As for what he wants, it's coming in the next chapter!


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Review #39, by Infinityx A Ray of Light

27th January 2015:
Hey Aditi! Here for our swap!

I wanted to review earlier but I was too engrossed in what was happening to stop reading then.

Ah, so much drama. I love it! :D The way you've characterized Dominique and Teddy is brilliant. I really like how you managed to fit in that side story earlier about how Teddy used to date Victoire and everything. It was a small deviation from the main plot but it fit right into the story and brought a balance between the events that were happening and Dominique's inner feelings. Great job there!

I suspected foul play when I read about the anti-apparition charm on the cottage in the very first chapter and I was right! I like your reference to the charm once again as it really was a crucial element in everything that went wrong. And Delilah. Wow, she is crazy. I love how you've written her here, with her lust for power and absolutely no regard for the people she'd hurt in the process.

The entire plan for catching her seemed very well thought out. Teddy came at the right moment with the Auror and the witness, they know exactly how to interrogate her, and of course, ensuring she couldn't leave. You've left no holes there! I especially love how you've brought in references to Harry here and there, and tied Dom to him. A lot of people who concentrate on a particular Next Gen family tend not to bring in members of the extended family into the plot (if you understand what I mean). I love how you've integrated so many small elements and details into this!

A tiny bit of CC:
Delilah was really quick to confess to her crime. Maybe that part could have been focused on a bit more with Teddy slyly getting the truth out of her or something. The pace is really fast in this chapter so it seems a bit rushed. Maybe you could slow things down with each scene. Maybe Dom doesn't immediately blurt out that she knows what Delilah has done but tries to extract a confession from her or something. I think elongating the scenes just a tiny bit more would help slow down the pace a little bit. But that's just my opinion, feel free to ignore it if you don't agree. :)

I really loved this so far! I'm expecting the next few chapters to be focused on Dom's new life. That's got to be interesting. I'm going to read on and review now!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you like my characterisations as well as the little details. Thank you. As for drama, that's my forte xD

Delilah is definitely crazy and I'm glad you liked the way I wrote her.

The plan was indeed well thought out - especially with Teddy by Dom's side. I definitely like to see the entire family as being quite close so I couldn't not put them all connected!

Thank you for the CC as well. I understand that it came across as a bit rushed but the way I see Delilah - I think she's a very hot headed person (so is Dom really) and so she confessed the way she did. Nonetheless, I'l go over the chapter again when I have the time and see if I can do anything about it =)

Thanks!


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Review #40, by marauderfan Settling

26th January 2015:
Hi Aditi! Here with your review!

Aah, your description of the still night in that first section is just GORGEOUS, I can picture it all so clearly. And then when Dom's transformation happens - that was incredibly well written and I feel like I was right there with her. You include all these details that just make the scene so real, I love it.

“Accio wand,” she muttered and saw it zooming towards her from the cabinet -- this stood out to me because can you summon something without a wand? (You might be right, and remembering something I'm not, but this surprised me - maybe something to have a look at.)

I really loved Dom's talk with Victoire and Julia - they are exactly what she needs. Victoire is sensitive and tactful and has all these gifts, Julia isn't tactful but she treats Dom just like normal, which I think is something Dom really craves. Everything is normal with her and her friends again and now she feels like she'll be okay -that is so great. I'm totally on the same page as Dom about the marriage, it's too much to rush into suddenly, but it definitely makes sense to talk to Teddy at this point and I'm glad Vic and Julia helped her come to that conclusion.

“That’s like my girl,” said Julia with a grin. -- here I think it might sound better to just say "That's my girl"

One area you might want to clarify is also this bit: She had braved the outside world for the first time yesterday for an interview for the Prophet. -- at first I thought she had been interviewed (about becoming a werewolf or something) and then I realized you meant she had conducted an interview (because she's a reporter). Maybe it was just me reading it wrong, but one way to clarify this would be to say "she had conducted an interview" or "she had interviewed someone about (insert random topic here)."

Hm. I don't actually remember who David Dale is but I remember the name, I think he had something to do with Delilah Jones' plan. And I think he was a werewolf. I'll look back a couple of chapters haha, as it's been a while since I read those now. I can't imagine what he wants from her though, unless he wants to apologise for something? Mystery. I like it.

Despite this being a bit fillery, I never have objection to filler chapters because I think they're important as kind of a break between really important scenes. And the first bit of this was not filler at all. I think showing her first transformation and recovery was so important and you did wonderfully with that. Can't wait to see how it all turns out! Great chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked the first section of the story. I tried my best with the descriptions so I'm glad it worked.

I think, in the HP books, someone does "Accio" their wand (though I can't remember who). I think advanced witches and wizards who have mastered spells can do this kind of magic. And I felt that Dominique could have done it so I wrote it =)

Victoire and Julia are really what Dom needs right now, and I'm glad that came across. I am also happy that Dom's reasoning for not marrying Teddy made sense to you!

I have now corrected the typo, thanks!

David Dale is a werewolf - that's all I'll say for now. More will be revealed in the next chapter. You don't have to look back if you don't want to - it'll make sense in the next chapter either way haha. I do love my mysteries ;)

I felt this filler chapter was important as well - to show Dom's transformation, its aftermath (I actually edited in some content that showed a more miserable aftermath than before) and her dealing with everything.

Thanks again!


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Review #41, by missatron The Worst Had Happened

26th January 2015:
Hi there! Sorry for the delay. I'm here now, with your requested review.

I knew that I'd be back, somehow or another, as I really enjoyed your first chapter. I hope that the second will live up to the first!

Something that I thought was interesting - the werewolf who had attacked her had probably taken Wolfsbane. I didn't expect this, but then again, Wolfsbane is probably a lot more common in this generation. I suppose that it was a nice change.

I liked how you started this off with a dream - I think it makes Dom's fear of werewolves is a lot stronger than we imagined - or were led to believe in the first chapter without much background knowledge. I think that you actually wrote the dream very well. There was plenty of description and the scene was clear. The only thing that I would say to help you improve the dream is to try and smooth it over a little. The part where the man helps her up seems a little rushed and stilted. We also want the wolf's appearance to be fairly memorable. Since the wolf featured in Dom's dream, I want to know more about what it looks like, in case it ever features again in the story. It can be easily fixed, no worries.

I really can't help but feel sorry for Dom in this chapter. My, she really is having a hard time, what with her biggest, strongest fear becoming reality. I suppose that we all have to face our fears one time or another in our lives, but the way you wrote it was so powerful! (That's good!) Emotive too. Well done! The way she reacted was probably quite realistic too, though she was rather dramatic, lashing out like that. I suppose she was filled with fear and adrenalin at the time so that it seemed like her only option.

I enjoyed the fact that she couldn't remember what had happened as soon as she had woken up and that she had to wait a few minutes for her full memory to return. I like how we got to see a glimpse of what Dom was usually like with her family and friends - her personality and actions seem a lot different to how she acts in the rest of the chapter. I suppose that that would be understandable in such a situation.

I'm so glad that you requested for me to read this, as I love it, and it's a nice change from what I usually read. Feel free to re request!

Missy ♥

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

Wolfsbane is definitely more common in this generation - more on that in future chapters.

I am glad you liked the way I wrote the dream. I'll try and see if it can be smoothed over further =)

It's great to know you found this emotive and that you feel for Dom here. Her reaction is really a bit over-the-top but she is just very scared right now.

Thanks again!


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Review #42, by Pixileanin It Is Time

24th January 2015:
Hi! I’m back for more.

I love the way you opened this chapter, with the failed notes to Teddy. The morning always puts a different spin on things that happen from the previous night, don’t they? I can feel Dominique’s regret and remorse over the situation, and also the deep isolation when she woke up without someone there to support her. It’s understandable that she blamed herself, especially after running out on him, but I can see how the whole thing built up to this big ball of crazy that she just couldn't deal with at the time.

I liked that Hermione was ready to help and had everything set up for Dominique that morning. That was the help that Dominique absolutely needed at that time. All hail Hermione and her ultimate wisdom!

I can completely understand Dominique’s gut reaction to the cottage, being so similar to the place where the whole ordeal had started. Your description was very strong in setting the scene and also in giving me a picture of Dominique’s emotional state. It all worked together really well here.

I was surprised and hopeful when Teddy showed up at the cottage, but my hopes were dashed very quickly. Gosh, they are both so hot-headed. Well, that ended badly. They both had valid points, but they are also both so hurt that they aren't listening.

The note right before her transformation was a good morale booster, I thought. It's nice to see that Dominique's family is still standing by her and helping her out in any way that they can. It's sad that Teddy has taken this time to bail.

Writing-wise, this feels like your strongest chapter yet. The prose is tight, the action moves, and everything in the plot is coming together. The emotions are still high, and I’m feeling the characters through their words. The dialogue felt relevant and natural (even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear :P) I've been waiting for the transformation and I'm curious as to whatever that’s going to mean for Dominique.

Great chapter! I think I'll have time for the last posted chapter, and then I'll have to bug you for the next installment to see how this thing ends.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your reviews really have made me so happy =)

I am pleased you liked the opening. Yes, the morning does open perspectives. I am also happy that you can understand Dom's feelings.

Hermione is definitely the person for such things - always ready to help!

I am glad you liked my description in the cottage scene and that Dom's reaction made sense.

Gah it did end quite badly didn't it? They both had their strong opinions and instead of having a mature discussion, they ended up fighting. Hopefully, things will sort out soon.

Dominique's family is certainly supporting her so I'm glad that you acknowledged that little detail.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I'm always worried about dialogue so to hear that it came across natural is a huge relief. Thank you once again and I hope you read the last chapter as well!


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Review #43, by Pixileanin At The Burrow

24th January 2015:
What Teddy says about Dominique’s scar is very touching. It shows, just like he says, that he’s accepted it as a part of her. I can tell that he’s trying so hard, but as the rest of the scene unfolds, it’s clear that he has something else on his mind.

This feels like the first time that Dominique has tried to be herself around the family. The dinner seemed to be difficult for her, mostly because she wanted so badly to be okay with everything, and yet a huge life-changing event was just around the corner - and I’m talking about the full moon here, not the proposal. No one seemed to be addressing it - like this huge elephant in the room. I literally breathed a sigh of relief when Hermione brought it up in the kitchen.

I know you’ve been prepping the reader to think that there’s a possibility that Dominique can just ignore this werewolf part of her and go on living a normal life, but I couldn’t buy into it. I was really surprised that she hadn’t thought ahead of where she would stay for the transformation. She is such a meticulous planner in all other things, and she just wrote an article on the subject as well. I had assumed that she had some kind of plan, or made some arrangement. Anyway, I was so pleased that Hermione had thought ahead and was able to get wolfsbane for the big night, however she did it. She would be the one who would know how to do things like that.

Timing, timing, timing. I’m not sure what Teddy was thinking here. Sure, he wants to be supportive, but… all I can say is timing. It does make for a great way to end the scene, very angsty and cliffhanger-y and dramatic.

Author's Response: Teddy has definitely been very accepting of Dominique. That does not of course say that all is well - Teddy is scared too and we see more of that in the future chapters.

Haha yeah, it was an elephant in the room. Everyone was trying to avoid it to keep Dom as comfortable as possible but it kinda made Dom uncomfortable. Hermione is the rational person in the family and it made sense for her to have thought of everything for Dom. Though Dom is a planner, she avoids thinking of the full moon and thus things skip her notice.

Teddy is definitely not thinking straight xD I'm glad you're liking the story (or at least I think you are). Thanks!


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Review #44, by Pixileanin A Ray of Light

24th January 2015:
Definitely the chapter title says it all. This was a ray of light in the story, where everything finally went right for once. It’s great that Dominique was able to resolve this bit of her troubles with confidence.

I was so relieved that Teddy showed up when he did. Having the two women in that office spitting nails at each other wasn’t accomplishing anything, and I was scared that it was going to turn out very badly until he stepped through the door. Great build-up of tension in that part.

I’m glad that Teddy had all the bases covered, and that the specifics of it weren’t revealed prior to that moment in the story. Even if Dominique had known about the setup beforehand, I loved that you only chose to show it where it mattered to the plot. It was great for the pacing, because the reader got to discover, along with Jones, the lengths that Teddy and the Auror in charge went through to make sure that the confrontation went the way they needed it to.

I loved the recurrence of the apparation blocking charm that the Auror used. It seemed like an important detail in the beginning of the story, and to have it used against the guilty party when Delilah is apprehended adds a delightful sense of symmetry to the plot. I’m a big fan of symmetry. :)

I had often wondered about Dominique’s high-strung personality, and now I no longer worry over it. Delilah was completely over the top, bouncing between sickly sweet, complete denial, unjustified anger and insane vengeance - which oddly balances out Dominique and makes her out to be far more controlled and rational. Additionally, I found myself liking the idea that two driven people in the same field had similarities in personality. It would just make sense that similar minds would be drawn to the same profession... not that Dominique is insane or anything... and it just makes me more curious about Julia and what her story is. So for what it’s worth, kudos to you for balancing your cast of characters. I don’t even know if that’s a “thing”, but it felt worth mentioning.

And one more thing, I think it was extremely important that you mentioned the procedures that would be used to prove or disprove the situation, mainly the pensive and the veritaserum, which are both cool and believable for the wizarding world. Because you detailed the methods, I was completely able to buy in to Dominique’s sudden relief and confidence that matters would be settled appropriately. Of course, after the verbal admission in front of the Auror, I can’t see how it would have gone otherwise. Delilah must have known that her game was up at that point, and felt that she had nothing more to gain by pretending.

This feels like it could have been the final chapter by the way you ended it on such a positive note. But there is still that Full Moon coming up, which, as good as she feels about it right now, will still be another challenge… on a completely different level for Dominique.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked the build-up of the tension and enjoyed the confrontation. I am fan of symmetry too so I had fun writing the apparition thing.

I put a lot of myself into Dominique's personality and ironically (or not) I'm a journalist too - well I'm studying to be one. And most of the people I've come across in my field are somewhat similar in nature, so I put a little of that here. Of course, Delilah is an exaggerated version - I've never met someone as insane. As for Julia, I think she's less like Dominique or Delilah. I'm afraid I haven't explored much of her story in this novella. She is more like a supporting character and I don't do well with sub-plots.

I put a lot of thought into the procedures so I'm glad you noticed them. I love adding these little details and it's a pleasure when they're acknowledged.

It could have been the final chapter but Dominique is yet to face the full moon and I feel there're some things that need to be sorted between Teddy and her as well before the story can be over.

Thanks!


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Review #45, by Pixileanin Meetings and more.

24th January 2015:
Wow. It's so quiet around here... off to do another review!

This first scene… okay. Obviously, these characters are in an extremely difficult and emotional situation with implications that run far greater amok than they could even imagine. I think I get what you were trying to do here, by having Teddy be the calming, rational side of the situation, but the scene felt weird to me. After re-reading, I think it came down to two words.

“Calm down” uhh… even coming from Teddy, if I were in such a worked up state, I would not want to be told to calm down, and I’d completely shut out anything else that was being said to me. I think if you remove those first two words, Teddy’s dialogue would carry the same amount of weight without sounding condescending, or belittling Dominique’s justifiable anger at her boss.

After Teddy’s blowup from the previous chapter, I’d have expected a stronger reaction from him as well. Possibly, he was trying to remain calm because Dominique was already so upset, and if that was the case, I would have liked you to show us that internal struggle.

I really like the renewed spirit of Teddy and Dominique in the next scene, where they’re given a lead, and they finally have something to do about the situation. From the feeling I got from the previous chapter, I was surprised that Teddy agreed to have Dominique go with him to meet this person. I was more expecting him to sneak off and meet with the guy alone, but frankly, I like this situation better. The only thing that I wasn't keen on was the first paragraph, where the narrative felt a bit “explainy”. If it was me, I’d try to shorten that, or eliminate it and build it into the scene as they move forward.

This:

“Teddy smiled as he saw a glimpse of his old Dominique beneath the tense woman he’d been seeing for the past few days, as she scurried across the room, yanking out her jumper and cursing under her breath almost every two seconds when unable to find something.”

I love this. It shows me how Teddy is feeling, and how he cares about Dominique, and it also shows Dominique’s progress through characterization.

This Young guy, man, is he despicable. Desperate, yes, but so very selfish. I’m glad you gave Dominique a threat that moved him to assist them, even if it was a lie. Sure, he’s in a tight spot, but he doesn't sound like he was a good sort of person, even before he was bitten. It would have been interesting to learn what he did for a living before, and why he took to roaming the forests so quickly. Seems like he was running away from his old life. Makes me think of unnecessary subplots… lol.

I am sensing all kinds of denial on Teddy’s part. I loved that Young brought the real issue to the forefront again: Dominique’s life has permanently changed, and she’s going to have to deal with that in a very real way, in a very short amount of time. Even with Teddy’s family history, I don’t think he gets that. Dominique does, and she’s understandably terrified.

Julia seems like a very interesting character. I can’t wait to see what part she has to play in the rest of the story. You've dropped some visual hints about her, but I will reserve my comments about her until I see more.

Ms. Jones. Ugh. I had hoped that Teddy would have arrived sooner, so they could face her together. Dominique running hot and cold all this time, I just wasn't sure she would be in a good state to do the confrontation alone. I sincerely hope that she planned out what to say to this vile woman, because I certainly wouldn't be thinking clearly at that moment.

Author's Response: Hey again! Thank you for writing such thorough reviews =)

I get what you mean by those two words. But my point here was that Dom is the hot headed one, she's not thinking straight and Teddy is the calm guy who's trying to think of solutions to the problem instead of letting his emotions get the better of him. But I guess it didn't come across so well so I might have to edit and rephrase that part.

I actually wanted to put the description there to kinda set the scene, thus the 'explainy' bit, but I guess it doesn't work for all of us.

I am pleased you like Dominique's progress through characterisation and Teddy's thoughts towards her.

Young is definitely no good. Haha I did contemplate writing a one-shot on Young and his miserable life... one day maybe xD

Teddy is definitely in denial. Poor bloke.

Julia is that steady friend that will be by Dom's side =)

As to why Teddy isn't arriving sooner, we see it later!


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Review #46, by Pixileanin Decisions and Discoveries

24th January 2015:
Hi! Back again for more.

Fleur’s dialogue sounds quintessentially her, just like I would imagine. I think you captured her disposition and her fierce loyalty to family in those words.

I’m not loving the way that Dominique brushes aside the fact that Teddy knows and doesn't see the need to talk to him face to face. This might be the way she deals with stress, and maybe she needs to push the hurt away to make the decision, but it looks bad for Teddy, and as much as Fleur was supporting her, she seemed wary about bringing up Teddy at that moment. The whole thing makes me suspicious. Or maybe that's just how I am.

And then she avoids him altogether after the procedure. Not good, Dominique. I can feel her pulling away again. But I see that Teddy decides to bring it up himself later. That’s a good thing. Too much avoidance. Grr! I took Teddy’s reaction in stride. I didn't think it sounded forced or overdone. Given the way that Dominique reverts to shutting down, I think he needed to react strongly for her to realize that he deserved to know what was going on with her.

Okay, so then we’re back to plot again, which was a nice shift from the drama and came at just the right time, pacing-wise. Of course Dominique is going to overthink her situation, and it eventually leads her to dissect the moments before her attack.

Everything about her “source” sounded shifty to me. I almost expected this Mr. Dale to request some kind of monetary trade for his information, though he’s probably not THAT shifty. :P I like the way you reserved the name of the woman until the very end. I read it with a good sense of revelation, and it gave that nice little punchy twist to the last scene.

Dale comes across just as Dominique described him to Teddy. He’s extremely full of himself. The way that he writes so formally, and then asks her not to judge her attacker for what he did - the guy basically took a bribe to irreversibly curse someone else. In the best of situations, that’s just wrong. I hope the werewolf community has more than just a simple plan of slapping him on the wrist for that.

That being said, the revelation of the person responsible for staging the attack opens up a whole new set of questions. I hope that Dominique isn't going to let this slide. I have a feeling that Teddy certainly won’t. I think someone needs to go to prison…

So now that I’m well into the story, I feel like I can comment on characterization a little. Dominique feels very consistent throughout what I've read so far, and even though I don’t like how she reacts to things, her thoughts and actions are quite plausible for who you've made her out to be. I feel the same way about Teddy, that he's solid in character, and consistent. He seems to care a great deal about Dominique, and knows her well enough to push her when she needs it.

I spotted something that might be a minor typo:
“I am just glad that the Ministry authorized the making of portkeys by any wizard or witch off age; - “of age” ?

Great that we were matched for the review! I shall try to get in a few more before the end of the month.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you think I captured Fleur well as she is a canon character and kinda hard to write.

I think you're a tad bit too suspicious, let's leave it at that xP

Dominique is definitely pulling away. That's just the way she's 'dealing' with things.

Mr Dale is not a character that many like, that's all I'll say on the matter for now xP

Dominique and Teddy definitely won't let it slide.

I am glad you're liking the story and that you are able to understand Teddy and Dom's characterisations now.

Thanks for pointing that typo. Will correct it!

Thank you!


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Review #47, by MargaretLane Settling

23rd January 2015:
Really like your description at the beginning of the chapter. And I like the insight into how Dominique is feeling even better. Poor, poor girl. She really does have an ordeal to face, even with the Wolfsbane.

*grins* I reckon she could really do with some company and support after what she's been through.

I'd be inclined to put a comma before, "thanks to you guys," when she talks about her headache having gone.

Uh oh, I thought Dominique just didn't feel ready to agree to marriage, considering how muddled up and stressed she was at the time or that she was afraid Teddy was only asking her to show his support and wouldn't have wanted to marry so soon if things had been normal. This sounds like there's more going on.

Yeah, I can see how this would feel like rather a lot to deal with coming on top of the whole werewolf drama. Poor Dominique.

And you know, I think she's right about the marriage thing. I don't think breaking up is the answer, but I do see that this might not be the best time for her to be making such huge decisions as getting engaged.

OK, the mention of the sugar quill is a little coincidental, just because I have a character who is a werewolf and she really likes sugar quills.

No, I don't remember David Dale. Maybe I'll skim back and see if I can find out. I really wonder what it is he can do for her. I hope it's something good; she deserves a break. I can't help wondering if it's something to do with Teddy, mainly because that's what she's just been thinking of. Maybe he's one of Teddy's friends and is bringing a message from him. Or maybe it's something different altogether.

I'd also put a comma before, "Miss Weasley" at the end of the chapter.

This may be personal preference or just different head canons as regards lycanthropy, as I know I sometimes find it difficult to disentangle canon on the matter from my own version and also some of the versions I've read, but it did strike me that after the initial transformation, the whole thing seemed a bit easy. There were a few references to her having a headache and so on, but somehow I didn't really get the feeling of her not feeling well. I don't know WHY that was; you mentioned it a few times, so it might just be by comparison with some other versions which portray the effects of lycanthropy as somewhat worse than you do. I don't know. It just felt a bit rushed or something.

Overall, good chapter. I've been waiting to see how she deals with the transformation.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so happy to see you here for another chapter. You're one of the readers who've stuck by every chapter of this story with every update, so thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.

I am glad you liked the beginning description and stuff. I based it on some vague research so it's good to know it worked.

I think friends and family are really important at such a point so Julia and Vic had to show up.

Thanks for the little pointer on the comma. It's fixed.

There's definitely more going on than just the whole not feeling ready thing - and Dom finally explains it all to the two people who are closest to her. She obviously wasn't able to explain all this to Teddy.

Haha I just felt like after all the stress Dom's been through (both werewolf and non-werewolf related), something sweet like sugar quills would help her xD

Hmm I presumed not a lot of people will remember him. He will definitely be explained in the next chapter. I am loving the speculations though!

Thanks again for the comma pointer, it's fixed!

As for the whole thing seeming a bit easy, I was a little afraid of that. I felt like I should have probably emphasised on the aftermath a bit more - so I guess I'll do that when I get the time and edit. Thanks for the honest opinion!

Thank you so much once again!


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Review #48, by AlexFan Settling

23rd January 2015:
Okay first off, that ending, wow, now I want to know what David Dale could possibly have to offer Dom, although I get the feeling that it might not be good or maybe he's going to offer Dom a position in a werewolf pack or something like that.

Pace: I thought the pace was good, everything went at a really good speed, there was enough information put in to move the story enough but not so much that it started dragging. I liked that feeling of Dom having to get straight back to work as soon as her transformation was over kind of showing how the world didn't stop for her just because she had bigger problems than most people.

Characterization: I thought your Dom was spot on personally. I could picture her pushing the talk with Teddy as far away as possible and keeping herself busy with other things to take her mind off of what she needs to do. I thought everyone else was pretty spot on as well.

So, you know, awesome chapter (as usual).

Author's Response: Thank you once again for your review. I'll try to update much sooner this time as there're only 2 chapters (or possibly one if I decide to combine them) left for this story now. As for David Dale, we'll see.

It's a relief that the pace was good. I was afraid it was dragging a little. Yes, it is definitely like Dom to throw herself into work - and the world definitely doesn't stop for her.

I am so relieved that you find Dom's personality consistent so far. Thank you for your awesome review!


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Review #49, by missatron Dreading The Worst

23rd January 2015:
Hi there! Review tag!

I saw this in the 'Recently Added' section earlier, and thought to myself 'I must read this story as soon as I get the chance'. I'm so happy I got to read it. I quite like werewolf stories, especially when the author builds up tension in the right way. I'm glad that you built up the tension, and the imagery was perfect. Spot on.

You've jumped right into the main plot here, without warning. This can always be a little risky, as the readers might not have a clue as to what is going on, but I liked how you did it. The first sentence was nothing paticularly special, but it set the scene well and flowed on to the following events nicely. I also thought it was good how Dominique had forgotten about the Full Moon. It gives a nice little space for action.

This chapter wasn't boring in the least - it had me leaning over the screen, wanting to shout at Dominique to tell her to run. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to hear me, so that would be pointless.

You have done a great job introducing this story and making it interesting for people to read. I love this. I'll most likely be back for more soon!

Missy ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked this first chapter of the story and I really hope you can come back for more =)

It's good to know you liked the way I built up the tension and the imagery. Yes this was a prologue so it was more action friendly with straight into the plot but the rest of the story is more 'relaxed'.

I am pleased you liked it over all and stuff. Thank you!


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Review #50, by Pixileanin More Bad News

21st January 2015:
Hi! TGS Review Swap Time!

It’s good to see Dominique apologizing for her earlier actions. She’s been taking her fear and anxiety out on the people who are the closest to her, and it wasn't fair. Teddy is a good man for standing by her.
And that Jones lady, I don’t like her at all. I’m with Teddy on this one. An article like this, especially when Dominique is in such a state, is a completely unreasonable thing to ask. It’s not worth the pain, though I don’t think Dominique sees it that way.

Oh gosh, that news was certainly not what Dominique was expecting. I like how you've made the lycanthropy a physical thing, and that you've put consequences to it that affect the characters more than just with the once a month change. It adds another level of gravity to the story, especially since there is another decision that she is going to be forced to make sooner, rather than later. I have a sinking feeling that it has something to do with the news that she was just given.

It makes sense now, why her mother was so upset earlier, and why this conversation would be traumatic for everyone involved.

It was interesting to see Teddy pull away from the conversation to give her family “privacy”, even after she asked him to stay. It’s almost as if he was pulling away from her at the end, and I get the feeling that his emotions aren't wholly in control about this revelation either. It’s obvious that he knew what this was about, and I can’t help but question why he pulled away. Judging from Dominique’s character, her gut reaction to distance herself from everyone when she's in pain, I think this will hurt their relationship later on, but that’s me just guessing.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing =)

Dominique is just very stressed but she's not a bad person so of course she realised and is apologising. As for Delilah Jones, nothing can be said for her character at this moment ;)

I definitely wanted to make lycanthropy as difficult for Dominique as possible (yes I'm evil) so yes the whole baby thing added to the stress of it all. The decision is definitely something about the news.

Teddy's emotions are definitely not in control with the whole ordeal. He is trying his best to be there for Dominique but sooner or later it's going to explode out in the open - but for now Teddy will be by Dom's side whenever she needs him.

I am glad you swapped me with - I'll be reading more of Rabbit Heart for the swap and I hope you get to come back to this story =) Thanks!


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