Reading Reviews for Come with Me
  
41 Reviews Found

Review #26, by CambAngst Come with me

21st February 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag 2.0.

This story was very dark and painful, and I thought you handled it exceedingly well. There's obviously a strong AU aspect to the whole thing and as a reader I have no idea who Catherine is, but that really didn't matter in the end. You showed me just enough about her to make me realize her importance to Draco, how she led him to the light and redeemed him from his service to the Dark Lord. And in the end, his uncle took her away, and now he's broken.

The idea that Draco Malfoy -- whose family was so intent on embracing the supremacy of magic and the importance of pure magical blood -- would find himself alienated from his love of magic was really powerful. It set a tone that you were able to build on as you took us through his tormented memories.

The imagery of a young, carefree Draco playing with his friend, pursuing her as they swing higher and higher, was another great piece of the picture. Going from innocence to such deep darkness and despair provided stark relief for Draco's grief.

I really liked the idea of Draco killing his uncle to avenge her death. That act closed the circle and nothing felt incomplete. His work, in a sense, was done. He's reached a point where there's nothing more he can do besides join her.

The image of him having to retrieve his wand, it having been cast aside as too painful a reminder, completed things for me. He's now going to use it one last time to rejoin her.

Your writing was great in this. Your word choice and the flow of the narrative perfectly complemented the subject matter. I didn't see a single typo or grammatical problem.

Very nicely done!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased to hear that you think I handled this dark and painful story well - it was my first time attempting it! Yeah, there is an AU aspect but I wanted Catherine to be more of a symbol than a character which is why I didn't really develop her character much (hope that makes sense). Nevertheless, I am glad you think it worked anyway.

I wanted to play around with the idea of Draco sort of resenting magic - and it is good to know that the message came across.

I am glad you liked the young Draco playing on the swings memory as it was one of my favourite writing moments for the story.

Yes, I believed that he wouldnt have let his uncle live after what he did - as you said, then his work was done and now all he needs to do is join her. He lost his purpose in life, and so he shall join her.

Ah I am happy you noticed the significance of the little detail of him casting aside his wand and using it one last time - I put in some thought into it and its great that it completed things for you.

I am glad you liked my writing, word choice, and flow. Thank you so much for your wonderful review!


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Review #27, by soapman333 Come with me

17th February 2013:
Wow! I'm not very good at reviews, so get ready to read something worthless:

I liked it! I wanted to steal this girl from Draco! What a sweet story. The flashbacks were heart wrenching, and the ending was sad, but I liked it (I must be some kind of masochist). Marvelous work!

Draco will grow on me...maybe.

Thanks for the good read,
soapman333

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you liked it. Haha, feel free to steal her ;) I wouldn't exactly call it sweet but thanks. Haha you're no masochist, I love writing such stuff too - when it comes to my characters, I inflict all kinds of pain on them xP

I hope Draco grows on you. He's an interesting character.

Thanks a lot!


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Review #28, by teh tarik Come with me

16th February 2013:
Hello there! teh tarik from the forums here with your requested review :)

This is a very dark and intense oneshot on postwar Draco. You've done a great job in spinning a story to fulfil the demands of both challenges - and this is a very chilling and utterly depressing story. I suppose Draco will find some peace in death, possibly a reunion with Catherine. In the areas of concern part you mentioned writing style, emotional intensity, plot and flow.

Your writing style is straightforward and smooth in this piece. Your use of the present tense really captures a sense of postwar stasis in Draco's life, and it also really shows how he is trapped in his own endless grief, and by the past, so much so that death is the only way to break away from the awful state of his present life. Do be careful, with the present tense, though, as it is trickier to write especially if you're incorporating flashbacks into the narrative. I detected a couple of places where there was a slippage in tense and you reverted to the past tense even though there wasn't a flashback.

With regards to the emotional intensity of this story - as I've mentioned, this is certainly a very intense and dark piece of writing. You've done a great job in conveying Draco's state of mind, his melancholy and depressive thoughts, and the traumatic effects of war on him. Your language is very hyperbolic in some areas, e.g. His soul twists in agony every now and then. This is a suggestion, but sometimes greater emotional impact can be achieved if language is more controlled, less dramatic - i.e. less is more. Your writing in this story is quite spartan and I like this style very much; the short paragraphs and clipped sentences really hit me hard. E,g, these lines: What wonders could one flick of a wand do? Amazing indeed.

He shakes his head and closes his eyes briefly. A face swims in front of his shut lids. He opens them again.

He does not like magic anymore.


These were really effective lines in the beginning. Their abruptness and dreariness really do reflect on Draco's deadened emotional state. There's something so cynical (and a little wry) about Draco thinking, 'Amazing indeed'. That was a lovely little detail.

Also, I think you can really heighten the emotional impact of your story by developing your character of Catherine a little, and showing a bit more of her relationship with Draco before the final battle. There's that very lovely scene with the swings, and I think it would be great if you either expand on that scene a little, or perhaps write another one with a little more detail on Catherine's character. Or you could just leave things as they are, with Catherine simply being vague flashes in Draco's memories, whom the reader cannot identify with. I suppose instead of being a rounded character, she's more of a symbol here in your story - a symbol of hope and happier times. It's up to you, really. These are just some of my suggestions.

As for the flow of the story, your narrative was very smooth and I don't think you have too much to worry about. The flashbacks were incorporated smoothly into the narrative - even though you italicised bits of Draco's past memories to set them apart from the present, they still flowed together nicely, and the transitions between present and past were generally smooth. I especially loved how Draco sitting on a rocking chair, rocking to and fro evokes the memory of him and Catherine swinging back and forth on the swings. That was incredibly well done so great work on that. Your action sequence is also very well-written. It was very brief and a little vague, but this emphasises the state of shock Draco must have experienced.

The plot of your story again is easy to follow and straightforward. I find it very interesting that Catherine is a member of the Order and that she brings Draco in. It certainly is very refreshing and I've not come across another fic where Draco is part of the Order, a Death Eater gone to the other side, similar to Regulus.

All in all, this was quite a wonderful but very disturbing piece of writing. You've certainly portrayed Draco's anguish very well, and there was a good sense of buildup to his final decision. It's a great portrait of despair, this story. Though of course, one could always interpret a moment of hope in the ending and assume that he is finally free.

Great work! Thanks for requesting; I've really enjoyed reading this :)

-teh

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Apologies for the delay in responding!

I am glad that you found this dark and intense, and in a way chilling and depressing, as that was my aim.

I am pleased you found my writing style straightforward and smooth. I tried my best to maintain the present tense, and I went and re-read and edited some parts where I thought the tense was not maintained. I hope its alright now. Thanks for your thoughtful comments!

Its great to know that you think I conveyed Draco's state of mind well. Thanks for your suggestion, I'll see what I can do in regards to controlling the language. I am glad you liked the short paragraphs and clipped sentences as it was my first time experimenting with them. Thank you for pointing out the little details and sentences that you liked, I was pleased to know them.

Thank you for your suggestions. However, I'd like Catherine's memories to remain vague, as you said, I'd rather remain her a symbol.

Its a relief to know that the flow was smooth, with the flashbacks incorporated well, and that the transitions were fine too. I loved writing the rocking chair to the memory part too so I am glad you liked it. I am not too good at writing action but I am pleased you liked it.

I am glad you liked the plot too. Thank you for your lovely words!

I am so grateful for your thoughtful review. I am glad you found this well-written. Thank you so much!


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Review #29, by Cassius Alcinder Come with me

14th February 2013:
Review tag!

So I have to commend you on how well you were able to capture overwhelming and all consuming grief in a very short space. We can feel the pain of Draco's inner struggles; what Catherine meant to him, what transpired during the war, and what had been taken from him. The pure emotion really comes through.

I also though the repetition of the phrases "come with me" and "avada kedavra" was very effective. It really drives home how much Draco is tormented by her memory and the desperation that it ultimately drives him to. I don't know if you've seen Inception or not, but Catherine's role kind of reminded me of Leo DiCaprio's wife in that movie.

It's great to see how you're continuing to grow as a writer.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

I am pleased that you found the grief captured well in this short fic. I am so glad that emotion came through to you and you could understand Draco's pain etc.

I always wanted to try out something of this sort - repetition and all - and its great to receive positive feedback on it. I haven't seen Inception actually (I want to though) but it is flattering that you can compare my OC to a wonderful movie's character.

Thank you so much for your awesome review! I hope to grow more as a writer in the future with all you readers' support!


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Review #30, by Gabriella Hunter Come with me

12th February 2013:
Hello!

Hey there, its Gabbie with your requested review and sorry that it took a minute for me to get back to you. Real life issues got in the way and I've been trying to actually stop being lazy and type for a change. -_-
So. This was really amazing! I'm not sure what I loved more about it but I think just the slow decline of Draco's thoughts were enough to keep me reading on. I wanted to learn so much about this girl and this pain that he was experiencing that I didn't pause or stop reading for a minute. The brief glimpses of her in his memory just stood out in my mind and I loved the haunting quality you gave those words. "Come with me," sounds so ghostly towards the end and while I thought it was fantastic that you strayed from canon and had Draco joining the Order, I also appreciated the danger and doubt you added in. The Order accepting him wouldn't have been easy and I can't help but wonder what the cost would have been had he NOT joined them? Other than the possible murder of him and his family...could he have hidden somewhere else? Hm...
Anyway, Draco's battle with Lestrange, and the hint that his father had been murdered was really intense. I could really picture this in my mind and loved what you did there--only, Catherine dying was perhaps the saddest thing ever. T-T
But the ending...oh, goodness, that ending. That takes some real guts to write a sentence that way but I'm not sure whether I was going to cry or be angry with Draco. I wanted him to keep moving forward but he just couldn't take it any more. T-T
Sadness to the extreme! D':
Anyway, this was beautiful, actually. I have no CC's for it, other than I'd like this to be a novella *Hands fat puppy as bribe*. It woudl please me. Hahaha.
Anyway, thanks so much for the wonderful read! :)
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I totally understand how RL gets in the way, so its no big deal at all. Don't be sorry!

I am so glad that you liked this. I am thrilled that you couldn't stop reading. I always wanted to attempt something like this where a lover is calling her lover, and "come with me" were just the right words to experiment with, so I am glad you liked that! Yes, the Order accepting him wouldnt have been easy which is why Catherine was there to help him. I am not quite sure if he could have hidden somewhere else, after all Voldemort can find anyone!
The battle was a short scene and I was a little concerned on it, but I am pleased that you found it intense. Yeah, Catherine dying was sad. Aw it took me a while to pull myself together and write the ending too. But in a way, I think he needed that.

I doubt I can ever make this into a novella, but I appreciate your awesome comments. Thank you so much for your lovely review, it totally made my day!


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Review #31, by Jchrissy Come with me

12th February 2013:
I think your attempt at writing something really dark really, really turned out well!

The kind of pain you've given Draco, how easy it is to feel his torture, is so well done. I think that Draco's life could have gone a very different way if he'd been able to try and seek help. He learned early on in the war that he had just as much of a chance of dying as any muggle born, and if that would have been enough to motivate him to finding help... well anyway, the fact that you had it doing just that in this was such an awesome choice.

The way she was sort of his reason, but that he trusted her enough to allow her to take him into this world where he didn't trust *anyone* shows us how deeply he really did care for her.

Then when you brought about the ending, and we watch Draco make the choice not to suffer without her anymore, I felt so sad but relieved for him at the same time.

More than that, I felt like it was a really 'in character' move. Which is impressive to find in an AU!

This was an awesome read! I think you did a great job surrounding it with the challenge, because you absolutely demonstrate the devastation and importance of the 'single spell'!

♥ Jami

Author's Response: Hi dear! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I do love your reviews, always.

I am glad that you think this turned out well, thanks. I do agree with you, I always thought that Draco's life would have been very different if he had had help. So, I used it in this AU story!

I wanted to get the point across that Draco and Catherine cared a lot for each other so I am pleased that it came through to you through my flashback.

It was a sad choice, yes, but I think Draco needed that in a way.

Really, it was in-character? Thank you, that means a lot to me!

Thank you so much once again for your lovely review, I am glad you liked it =)


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Review #32, by MissMdsty Come with me

12th February 2013:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review!

This was hauntingly beautiful. You presented the relationship between Draco and the OC in very little detail, but what was presented was enough to make me understand that she was very important to him and that his loss hit him the hardest, out of all the casualties of war.

This was a very interesting journey through the mind of a very sad and depressed young man and I think you described it perfectly. The way in which he saw her fall after taking the curse for him and the image of him shaking her lifeless body really made an impression on me.

I liked how the words "come with me" were repeated throughout the story and only in the end did we really understand their true meaning, that Catherine was calling for Draco to come home to her. In a way it reminded me of "Wuthering Heights", where a character by the same name called her lover home for many years, until he gave in and followed her.

The closing line was perfect, the realization that he has come full circle and it is time for him to be with her is something that makes a real impression and it painted such a painful yet beautiful image of love that it brought me to tears.

The writting style was impeccable, very suited for the mood and general atmosphere of the story, the grammar and spelling were perfect, I can only stand back and be amazed by this sad romance. Congratulations to you!

Ral

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!

Hauntingly beautiful really? Thank you! I am glad that you could understand the relationship between Draco and Catherine despite it being presented in short detail, as that was my aim.

I am pleased that her taking the curse and image of him shaking her body made an impression on you, as I worked hard on that scene.

Yes indeed, I have always found the idea of a dead person "calling" out to their lover, so I experimented with that idea in this story, so I am glad you liked it. Ooh, I love Wuthering Heights, though it has been forever since I read it and I didn't quite think of it while writing this (and I just love the name Catherine), but I guess my subconscious mind perhaps took the idea from there, somewhat ;)

I planned out the ending first before writing the story, so I am glad you found it done well, and that made an impression, and moved you.

Its great that you liked my writing style and the general atmosphere. Its a relief to know that there were no grammar/spelling errors.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments!


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Review #33, by Courtney Dark Come with me

12th February 2013:
Oh my goodness this was such a beautifully written one-shot! I was honestly captivated from the very first sentence and could not look away until I'd read the very last word. The way you wrote this one-shot was so hooking, emotionally gripping, dark and...gah! Just so beautiful! I've read quite a bit of your stuff now and loved every single chapter and story, but I'd almost be tempted to say I think this is your best piece.

I've always been a fan of Draco, but it's rare to find a Draco pairing which does not involve Hermione, so I was so glad to read this. I loved the way you made all his emotions feel so raw and real...like they were all bubbling up at the surface and about to explode.

Your characterization of Draco was brilliant, and I got a really good sense of the type of person Catherine is, too. And the ending was perfect in a dark, haunting way. I think you incorporated the use of Avada Kedavra really well and the repetition of 'Come with me' really added to the mystery of the piece.

Overall I thought this was an excellent one-shot, and I'd love to read more writing like this.
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey Courtney! Thanks for reading and reviewing this!

I am glad you liked this, and found it well written. I am thrilled that you were so captivated by this. I am so flattered by your review - all these lovely adjectives are making me smile =) And yes, I quite agree, I think this is my best piece too!

Oh, you must explore the archives more! I have seen a lot of non-Dramione pairings involving Draco! But I am glad you liked this, and found the emotions raw and real.

I am pleased that you liked Draco and Catherine's characterisation, and found the ending perfect and dark, as that was my aim.

Thank you so much for your lovely words and I look forward to how the challenge results turn out! Whether or not they're in my favour, I am grateful I got a chance to participate in your challenge, as I was able to explore a darker side of my writing.

Thanks!


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Review #34, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Come with me

11th February 2013:
Hey, Aditi.

Oh, Draco. To love someone so much that he'd join the Light and follow her in death? That's so sad and... Gah, I want to cry and hug him and wish he'd drop his wand. But while still understanding why he wants, or needs, to.

This was such a sad, but lovely read, Aditi. Good luck with the challenge. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing this!

Aw, I wanted to cry and hug Draco too while writing him, so I am pleased that it had that effect on my readers.

Thank you so much! I am glad you liked it!


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Review #35, by Juicey_Moosey Come with me

11th February 2013:
Hello Angie! I absolutely love this! It's just amazing! It's my kind of story... You've written this so beautifully, and at the end, my brain had a little sob, but my heart was melting, the emotions in it were so strong, and I was moved by the story, especially at the end, I just, asdfghjkl Draco! *cries slightly* it's just so lovely and bittersweet and *throws in other suitable adjectives*
So in other words, write more like this! And send me links and what not, because you're amazing at this!
*Tries to decide if she should try podcasting or not*
P.S: Consider this favourited! :D

Author's Response: Hey Julia! Thank you for your lovely review.

I am glad you liked this, and that this is your kind of story. Aww I am sorry I made you cry, but my aim was to tug a little at my readers' feelings so I am pleased that it came through. *hugs*
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and if I write something like this again, I'll notify you! You should definitely try podcasting! And thank you!


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Review #36, by patronus_charm Come with me

11th February 2013:
Hello! Iím here with your requested review, I had never read a Draco/OC before, so I was very excited to do so, as I love Draco!

I really love how you used the short sentences to reflect that this is Dracoís thoughts. Thoughts are rather short and blunt when they come to changing, so that was very effective, as you got a real sense of how his emotions were affected by each individual thing. Iím glad that you didnít do it through the entire thing, as otherwise the flow would have been lost, and it would have been too choppy.

As for Dracoís characterisation I thought it was excellent. As he never seems to express that many emotions, and at times is very hard to read, but you seemed to capture his mood very well. You could get a real sense of all the heartbreak and regret he was feeling, and couldnít help but feel sorry for him, as he seems to have gone through a lot.

I liked the little flashbacks as they were really effective, and complemented his present thoughts very well. I liked how Catherine appeared to be rather free and more relaxed than Draco is, as then both of their personalities would complement each other. Though she only had a minor appearance, you felt that you got to know her, and could connect with Dracoís pain over her.

I liked the AU bit about the Order being able to save Draco and provide him with security, as it was very plausible, and the fact that Catherine took him there, and saved him from the dark side was very well done.

I thought the ending was lovely and unexpected, but now I think about it, you did allude to it by his heartbreak, and it ties in very well. The Avada Kedavra was well placed in the beginning and I liked the use of foreshadowing.

I thought this was an excellent one-shot, and Iím sure youíll do well in both of the challenges! Thanks for the great read :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

This is the first time I attempted a Draco/OC so I am glad you liked it!

Yeah, I wanted to start off with some jumbled thoughts but felt like I shouldnt overdo it, so they become normal-ish as it progressed. I am pleased that you liked that.

Its great to know that you found Draco's characterisation to be excellent. I tried my best to capture him and his mood, so I am glad it worked for you. My aim was to make readers feel sorry for him so I am happy that it worked!

I wasn't too sure about the flashbacks and how effective they were, so I am pleased to hear that you found them effective and that you think they complemented the present. I am happy that you could connect with Catherine despite her short appearance.

I always wanted things to work out with Draco, so this was my chance to fulfil the fantasy of mine and give Draco his AU spin. I wanted to show Catherine as being the one who always showed him a 'way', so I used her to guide him to the Order too.

I was afraid that the ending might be too predictable but I am glad it came across as unexpected to you, and that you think it ties in well. I do enjoy foreshadowing so its great you liked that!

Thank you so much for your lovely review, it totally made my day =)


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Review #37, by alicia and anne Come with me

11th February 2013:
You are very good at descriptions, I can really feel his pain through your words.
It was such a good one shot and very sad, I felt so sorry for him when he was thinking about Catherine, although it's good that they can be together again now, even though it's incredibly sad.
This was a very powerful one shot and you've written it very well :D

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing Tammi!

I am glad you liked my descriptions and could feel Draco's pain as that was my aim. Yeah I know it was very sad, I was depressed while writing it too, but in a weird way it is good they're sort of together now yeah.

Thanks so much for your review!


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Review #38, by academica Come with me

10th February 2013:
Hey! I'm here from Review Tag! (And now I'm all caught up again, which obviously means you need to write more fabulous stories for me to review! Haha.)

I like the idea of an AU where Draco escapes his duty and seeks refuge with the Order of the Phoenix. I always felt sorry for him, being trapped with the Death Eaters, especially with his recent failure to kill Dumbledore riding constantly on his shoulders. It makes me feel better to know he at least had a companion in this version of the tale, though I'm heartbroken at how he regrets her death.

And that ending! Holy cow! I didn't see it coming, but it makes sense. In a weird way, I'm glad Draco decided to make a decision for himself, even if it's horrible to think about the act.

I think this is really well-written and good flow-wise, and I'm glad you decided to attempt something dark like this. I really think you did a nice job, and it shows me that you're capable of branching out as an author. I could even see this developing into a longer story, with this initial chapter being like a flashforward, a really compelling beginning. It's just an idea, though. Either way, hope to see more from you soon!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. (Haha, I hope I can write something new soon).

I am glad that you liked this AU plot. I always wanted Draco to go with the Order and all, so I decided to include that in this story. I wasn't sure if his remorse for her death came through really well or not, but I hope it did.

I always wanted to end it this way, in fact when I was planning the story, I planned the ending first, so I am a little surprised that you didn't see it coming as I thought that the events led up to it. It is horrible to think about what he did, but as you said, in a weird way it was good for him.

I am so pleased that you found this well-written and good flow-wise, since I look up to you when it comes to writing so your comments mean a lot! I am capable really? *gasp* Thank you. It means a lot to me, especially coming from you, since you're like the best writer ever for me!! Ah, thanks for the idea, I am not sure if I can work it into a longer story, as I am scared of ruining Draco's characterisation, but if the idea ever strikes, it will be thanks to you =)

Thank you so much once again for your lovely review!


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Review #39, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Come with me

10th February 2013:
Hello! Here from the review tag!

Wow, what a powerful story. It's short but so full of imagery and feeling that it really gets to you.

You've portrayed Malfoy so well in this. His obvious love for Catherine is so sweet and you can see they care for each other deeply. The memory of them playing on the swing is lovely and really works well in the story. It's so awful that she was killed in front of him, by protecting him. You described the scene so well though.

The POV is amazing in this and works well, giving it kind of a detached feeling which is what Draco is feeling after losing Catherine.

The ending really gets to you though, you wrote it so beautifully. I could hear a girl whispering 'come with me' and could see Malfoy closing his eyes as he put his wand to his temple. It was honestly written so well it was just like watching a movie for me.

Well done on a fantastic piece of writing! You deserve to do well in both challenges!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!

I am glad that you found this powerful, and liked the imagery, and the feeling.

I was a little worried about Draco's portrayal but its great to know that you liked it. I am pleased to hear that you liked the depiction of the whole Catherine taking the curse scene.

This is the first time I attempted such a writing style so I am glad that you found the POV to work well and it gave the detached feeling that I was aiming for.

The ending was the most challenging part for me to write so I am pleased that it got through to you.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!


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Review #40, by Eesha Come with me

10th February 2013:
Wow! Don't know how you do it. It's so well written and I could actually imagine the whole thing - as if it were a movie. Great job! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I am glad you liked it!

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Review #41, by Nevermind Come with me

10th February 2013:
This was really wonderfully haunting. It's very sad and depressing, but I think you did a fantastic job of it. I've always seen Draco as the kind of person who is lost without someone to love them. You really made me feel his agony through your writing. The ending was also quite upsetting, but I suppose it fit in well with the whole theme. Great work.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! This is the first review on the story =)

I am glad that you found it haunting as that was my aim! I was worried if it was depressing enough but thank you! I am pleased that Draco's agony came through to you, and that the ending fit in with the theme. Thanks!


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