I liked that I could really feel the way Dominique was feel though the way that you wrote. I enjoyed the flash back it really pulled me into the story just to know what was going to happen to them. Its sad that she was left heartbroken and the way that you expressed that fact I really liked. It was really enjoyable story.Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading & reviewing! Glad to know you could feel Dominique's emotions and that you liked the story. Thanks :) Report Review
I hated Teddy. I hated the fact he cheated, I hated the fact he strung her along. I hate the fact that people never consider if he's cheating on his girlfriend, what makes me different. I hate stories about cheating because it ruins people, it kills people, it makes bad things happen.
Your writing was brilliant! You capture emotion so well, that I'm really amazed. Brilliant job, I just want to cry right now, but really your a great writer.
LizzieAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Aw I hate the cheating thing too, it does make bad things happen. But its just a story.
Thank you for your comments! I am glad that you think my writing was brilliant and that I almost made you cry with my writing.
Thanks! Report Review
Aw this was such a bittersweet story and I absolutely loved it! I loved the characterization of Teddy and Dom and loved the relationship that you picked out (for lack of a better word) it was just so wonderful and sad and cute and I LOVED IT! Sometimes we just need those bittersweet stories where the girl doesn't get the guy or something bad happens to them and this was a wonderful oneshot that captured this. I loved when he said you're just so you, it was just so sweet! Ok before i gush on and on about how much i loved your plot, I'll tell you about the writing in general. I thought it was good, you did a great job with description and it all flowed really well together even when you went from past to present! Again I really enjoyed this piece you did a great job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Aw thanks a lot for such a sweet review!! I love reviews with gushing, they make me feel all mushy and nice hehe :D
I am glad you loved the plot, and as you said, sometimes we just do need these bittersweet stories. I am flattered that you loved so much about my little story, from my writing to the characterization to the flow.
Your review made me smile. Thanks a ton!
AD Report Review
Hey AD! I really like this concept -- I don't know if I've ever read a Teddy/Dom (no, really) and I like Dom being used as the "other woman". It definitely adds a new dimension to the tale.
I really like the "kiss in the rain" scene. It didn't have a cliched feel, which I was a little afraid of given the romantic connotation that has been attached to moments like that. I thought the moment between Teddy and Dom felt very natural and realistic, and you could tell that the romance between them had been building up for quite some time.
The second part of this didn't flow quite as well, though it wasn't bad. I think that block of text when Teddy was explaining to Dom why he needed to marry Victoire might be better if it's broken up a bit and you add in some description of how Teddy and Dom are acting and what Dom is thinking as she hears everything he says. I also thought your phrasing was a little awkward at one point - "three days later" sounds better as "three days from now".
However, I do think you handled the emotions in that scene well, and it's a hard thing to write, so kudos to you! I especially liked how you had Dom insist that they break up and then break down when Teddy mentioned the proposal. It may seem contradictory to some readers, but I think those conflicted feelings are very realistic for someone who really goes through a scenario like it. It's like she was brave at first, and then as soon as she lost control and the truth hit her, she wanted to retreat back into the place where she was happy. It adds real dimension to her character and you wrote it well.
Nice job! Good luck with the challenges!
AmandaAuthor's Response: Hey academica! Thanks a lot for your (as always) valuable review :)
I am glad you liked it and found how I handled it, realistic. The concept was something that I'd come across in many fics but most of them portray Dom as someone evil, someone who is destroying her sister's life, so I wanted to show her in a different light where she's sacrificing her love for Teddy for her sister. I am happy to know it worked!
The kiss in the rain scene was something with which I struggled, so I am glad to know that it turned out well.
I think I might have rushed in the second part, as you said Teddy's speech. Thanks a lot for your comments, and I'll edit it soon, and do the required changes. You really did help me there to find out what was off :)
I am also flattered to know that you find the entire ordeal so realistic, and that you took so much time to mull over it, so thank you.
Thanks once again for your generous review, and for the wishes!
AD Report Review
Miss Angie!! Helloo!!! :D
So I actually read this, a little while ago - like I told you, and I would have to say that this is one of your better fics!! It is simply lovely.
Your descriptions of how they meet, kissed, how it ended, everything was simply perfect. I hate Teddy/DomorTeddy/Victorie as we both know, however I took the liberity of reading this cause I love you, and It really was quite good.
He loves Dom, but her sister more - I really felt sorry for Dom, the poor thing was so heart broken and yet what could she do? She was just the other women!!
Lovely one-shot.. :D
Love Karni, ox.Author's Response: Karni xx
Thanks a lot for your awesome-y awesome review honey! I am glad you think its one of my better pieces, and that you find it 'lovely' :)
Aw I love you too and I am so happy that you read it even though you don't like the Teddy/dom/victoire thing!
Yeah that's true. I feel sad for her too.. poor thing.
But over all, thanks again for you sweet review. I love you pumpkin xx
Angie Report Review
I loved that so much. The end was so sad!Author's Response: thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh my... wow.
Never read a Teddy/Dominique like it beforeAuthor's Response: Aw thank you for reading & review :) Report Review
quite good, I think you've written them very well together and you show great chemistry between them.
Keep up the good work!!
padmoonyfoot7: over and out!!Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Glad to know that you think so :) Report Review
This was really good,I enjoyed it very much. The intesity on the sadness really made it captivating. Amazing job! :)Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the read and review! I am glad you liked it all :) Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
Even though I don't usually enjoy reading stories involving cheating, I think that this story was well written. You didn't glorify cheating and you had them realize that they were hurting others. I hope, for their sakes, that Victoire never learns of Teddy's romantic relationship with her sister.
I think that you characterized them well and did a great job of showing their emotional conflict. I could definitely feel Teddy's confusion and conflicting emotions during his big speech even though I did want to tell him that he couldn't love them both at the same time, and I could see why Dominique would love him. Luckily, they both seemed to realize what they were doing and I think that you did a good job of handling Dominique's feelings. She was obviously in a difficult spot (loving her sister's boyfriend) and yet had the maturity to realize her mistakes and do the right thing. I think that your last line was especially powerful- she knew that she would have to face the rest of her life with her love for Teddy hidden in the shadows. You did a great job of creating pity for her.
I also liked how you created the contrast between the sisters, though they were mainly superficial details. Where one was prim and proper the other was wild and carefree- you did a great job of showing this contrast with your descriptions and her actions.
I did notice a few small typos that can be easily fixed: with the sentence "had been since the past three years" I think that it would flow better if you replaced "since" with "for". As well, with "Three days later" I don't think that "later" is the best word for this situation... Perhaps "from now" instead? Furthermore, I would switch the "I've" in "I know I've to choose" to "I have" and the "shattered" in "her heart shattered" to "shattering". Finally, I noticed that often after dialogue you didn't capitalize the next word (like with "her voice broke"- it should be "Her") even though you should- I would just go through and change that.
All in all, I think that you did a great job of bringing these characters and their situation to life. You portrayed their feelings very well and in such a way that I felt sorry for them (especially Dominique). Life really does suck sometimes. Thanks for requesting and I hope that my comments are helpful!Author's Response: Hello there!!
First off, thanks a lot for your review :)
I am glad that you chose to read & review my fic even though you don't usually read this kind of stuff, makes me feel good :) I hope so too that Vic never finds about Teddy and Dom! :D
I am relieved to know that the characterizations came out well, and you could see & understand what I was trying to portray, and feel Teddy and Dom's mixed emotions, and that you could sympathize with Dom.
I wasn't focusing much on the sister-sister contrast but now you mention it, I am glad to know something that was in the back of my mind came to notice automatically through the descriptions and actions.
I'll do an edit soon and keep your pointers in mind, give it a re-read and fix the errors. Thanks a lot for taking the time and effort to point them out, I appreciate it :)
Your comments were definitely helpful! I know its a tired phrase, but your review really made my day. Thanks so much once again!
AD Report Review
I'm really glad I've read this: it's such a lovely story!
I've read Victoire/Teddy/Dominique fics before, all from Dom's POV like here, however, I must say that none of them was like yours. The way you chose to write this topic made the story different from everything else.
It's mainly Teddy's character that changes things: he's not a saint, he's not the one being played by Victoire. Instead he's a man with faults who, like everyone else makes mistakes. He very simply loved two women, but he's not confused: he knows what and why, and he's not trying to fool neither Dominique neither himself (the paragraph in which he explains himself is my favorite). Your Teddy is a very mature character, but he's also an honest one, and this is a great quality (and a very original characterization for this type of fic, I might add).
Other than that, I was sad to see Victoire being once again characterized as vain and spoiled, as well as being a person who cares more about her looks than Teddy. However, I believe you managed to present her in a better way than most people by doing two very important things:
(a) writing this wonderful Teddy speech! &hearts
(b) having Dominique not to hate her sister. In most fics, Dom goes all about how Victoire doesn't deserve Teddy, and how naive he is to love her, but here she understands how he feels for her sister and she feels horrible for what she's doing. I always appreciate some reality in stories, so I'll say once again that this makes her a very real character.
I really liked this! It was interesting, well-written and has all those endearing qualities I've mentioned above;)
~ AngieAuthor's Response: Hey Angie!!
First off, guess what? we share the same name! Well not exactly, because only my friends call me Angie (otherwise my name is Aditi and many call me AD) but still :D
Secondly, thanks a lot for your sweet review!!
I am glad you think of my story as lovely, and you think that the way I wrote this concept is different from everything else you've read before. That makes me feel really nice :)
Yes that's true, Teddy is not perfect, he's neither good nor bad, he's just a man helpless by his feelings, and he's straightforward. I am happy to know that you gave so much thought to it, and you could understand what I was portraying so well. Original? Really? OMG thank you! I love it when someone tells me a character was original! :D
Hmm, well i know victoire being spoilt is a very common thing, but I had to show the contrast between the sisters, so it was essential for my fic. Sorry to disappoint you!
Still I am glad that you think I managed to show her in a better way! I liked writing Teddy's speech, I think it added a lot to his character, and good to know you liked it as well. I also think its unrealistic for Dom to hate her sister, after all they're sisters, so I chose to show how much Dom loved victoire rather than hate. Again you made me smile by saying it was all real!!
Thanks again for your wonderful review!!! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection