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Reading Reviews for etc. etc. (and life goes on)
1,103 Reviews Found

Review #26, by SilverMoonFairy Green for Queen

8th August 2016:
The voice in my head for Pickett (I forgot to mention this earlier) is the guy who does the Scamalot videos on YouTube. Also, this anime-esque story has taken a terrifying turn toward Peach Girl with Appy playing the devious role of Sai Kashiwagi...

These last two chapters are SO PACKED, my head is spinnging. @_@ From drunken 'I love you' to being forced into a situation he did and didn't want. Oh, Al... If only you could be a pygmy puff on the wall of Clemence's life. He has no idea what poop he's put her in. It better hurt.


Author's Response: I imagine Pickett to be from the Scottish coast, but I never entirely nailed down the accent. I had to look up Peach Girl; I can only imagine the horrified look Appy would have if one called her the antagonist, you know, right before she kills you.

I'm also imagining Albus as a pygmy puff.

"It better hurt" -- AHA ♥ my kind of reader.

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Review #27, by SilverMoonFairy The Self-Fulfilling Prophet

8th August 2016:

This will end badly! *sing-song* I wanna smack both Clemence and Albus around a bit, but I'll get over it and hopefully so will they. SO MUCH TENSION! GAH! It makes my skin crawl with anticipation!

In regards to your ending note, I think you're doing a very good job of keeping up with background characters and even little details like Appy's book not being forgotten and such, or the crates of bottles- you really pick up on a lot of the little details that a lot of writer's might forget and it makes it seem more real (aside from the anime vibe, lol).

Ooh, need more!

Author's Response: I forgot all the little author notes I wrote at the end of chapters; it's crazy to think it's been YEARS since I wrote this chapter. I still very much can't wait to expand on background characters when I rewrite this as OF. I have little stories in my head that never become relevant in Clemence's PoV all the time. Thank you again for all your kind comments about this!!

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Review #28, by SilverMoonFairy Bare-Knuckled Heartbreaking

8th August 2016:
PS on the last chapter- why is there now CI for it?


I don't think I can keep this review 12+, but I'll try. This was EPIC. And I'm SO EXCITED! Now the poop will really hit the fan! *pumps fist* I AM SO EXCITED! Oh, I said that already. Um... Hmmm...

"Besides, when the well-being of this school hinges on my sexuality, I think there's a bigger problem to address!"

This is probably the most intelligent thing I've ever heard Scorpius say.

Ooh, now I'm really hoping for that happy ending I don't think is coming! *dances*


Author's Response: I'm actually SO lazy about chapter images that if I don't make it the week I post the chapter, it's very likely it's never going to happen lol. It just so happens I only skipped out on the CI once.

That line by Scorpius is probably like top 5 smartest lines in the whole story loool. The poor boy deserves some sort of agency over his storyline.

This one of my fav chapters, hehehe. Excited for your excitement!

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Review #29, by SilverMoonFairy Intermission, Enter Firewhiskey

8th August 2016:
Okay, are you ready for a lengthy review this time? I read this at work (thank God you have it on AO3 because my phone DOES NOT like HPFF) and because I couldn't speed read through the last ten chapters (because work) I had a lot of time to think and dwell and come up with some *hopefully* worth while things to say about the story of Clemence and Witchy Business.

The first order of business is that I've decided that this story reminds me greatly of a Rom-Com-Drama anime, namely something along the lines of Ouran High School Host Club or something to that effect, except more sexiness and the girls created their own fan club rather than just flocking to the boy's club. With the rabid fangirls screeching down the hall, the very psychotic Appy Colon who can go from evil to cute in ).5 seconds flat, the whole student body feuding over a stupid cause, and Clemence, the only main character who makes much sense and is sensible, I would totally love to see this as an anime or manga.

Just saying.

Secondly, this is by far my favorite chapter. I was laughing so hard at work, I needed to hold onto a table to stand up. My friend walked by giving me a queer look and asking, "Who are you talking to?" And so I read her Pickett answering Ella's rhetorical questions as explanation. It was hard to tell if she was laughing at the scene or me.

Omfg I LOVE Pickett. Until I noticed that he liked Dom, I almost thought that he liked Clemence and it tickles me pink that he asked to kiss her because she sounds like Dom. Just... Just... XD

AND OF COURSE PICKETT JUMPS INTO THE LAKE! Followed by Boy Wonder, Boy Enigma, and Lady Cynical. FINALLY THE SEX! As much as it is romanticized in movies and books... Sex in the water is no easy feat. :/

Now, apparently I have this habit of assigning songs to stories I am invested in. I listen to music all day long at work, so when a song comes up that reminds me of whatever story I'm obsessing over at the moment, it immediately becomes a part of a mental soundtrack. (I did this with Rose's stories, too.)

So far on your soundtrack, I have...
Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling (due to my own personal inferences into Clemence's character)

By The Way by Hinder (because she keeps saying Al is trying to 'fix' her)

Love Hate Heartbreak by Halestorm (because, mostly the title...)

And finally, this is not official yet, but given the satire and dark humor running rampant, I am not expecting a happy ending, so my prediction for the ending is:

Let Go by Hollywood Undead (although, given who they are and how the story is going, this may happen regardless of a happy ending, haha!)


Author's Response: I'M HERE I'M PREPARED.

I'm laughghghing at your comparison of this to Ouran mainly because I'm familiar with it. It's also funny because I think I DO take a lot from story structures/tropes popular in Asian media; my other story 'And Capers Ensue' totally follows the structure of a typical Korean drama if you squinted. etc would SO work as a manga/anime, you've just given me a new dream.

YES THIS IS THE CRACK CHAPTER!! This is the culmination of all the next gen tropiness I wanted to skewer followed up with lake sex.

Pickett is a blessing. Can anyone explain what comes out of his mouth? Totally worth getting weird laughs from your coworkers.

Ahhh I LOVE soundtracks (I made a bunch of music mixes on 8tracks for etc). I looked up the songs you mentioned and they're so intense, I can see why you chose them LOL.

Steepling my fingers at your predictions :D

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Review #30, by SilverMoonFairy The Casualties of War

7th August 2016:
I was RPing a VERY EMOTIONAL scene with my collab partner today regarding Albus, Scorpius, and two OCs at the same time as reading this and I just... SO MANY EMOTIONS! T_T Bring back the funny.

I can't believe those awful brats! And Al! I get why, but still! I wanted to punch him! (Not gonna lie, totally expected them to throw down after Rose left the room...)

Dom may whine and scream, but in the end, Clemence is doing what needs to be done. It's a stupid feud anyway, especially when Scorp isn't even interested.

5 chapters yesterday, 10 today- if only I didn't have to work tomorrow.

Author's Response: Omg you probably stumbled onto one of the worst chapters to read for the funny; this is definitely one of the darker ones. No one comes off as all too great in this chapter, except maybe Clemence who does her first truly selfless thing in the story. There never is any good without bad in this story, is there? :'D I remember this chapter being another turning point! I changed quite a few plot ideas after this one.

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Review #31, by SilverMoonFairy Lesser of Two Evils

7th August 2016:
That... Is a devious plan. And odd that Clemence has panic attacks. Hmmm... Appy will not approve! I can't wait for that showdown!


Author's Response: It's been super fun following you read; can't wait to see what you think of the rest! ^__^ Thank you!

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Review #32, by SilverMoonFairy A Lesson in Persuasion

7th August 2016:
LOTS OF PRINCIPLES! Good gracious, girl, you know how to write them all steamy, don't you? I'm gonna have to direct my husband to read this for a few brush up pointers!

Is Scorpius really gay? Because that would be hilarious. Two girls getting the whole school into a war and he doesn't even like girls...

ATTACK OF THE APPY! That is the most horrifying thing I can think of that could happen to Clemence! It's so Mean Girls!

Okay, I'm calming down now...

Author's Response: LOL OMG, why yes I do write a lot of characters with principles, hem hem.

I love reading your speculation; there's a lot I've been keeping mum about. I'll wait for your reactions then 8)

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Review #33, by SilverMoonFairy Denial, What's Denial?

7th August 2016:
Appy is ridiculously scary. There, I said it. (Seriously, where did you get the name Apostrophe Hyphen Colon?) I'm sort of proud of Clemence for not going to meet Al -who knows what scandal may have happened!- but I'm also a little disappointed that she said anything to Caroline at all. I think you would have waited to hear more of the conversation, but now she's just feeding the flames. Oo...

I'm also mad at Pickett. He needs to TALK to DOM. But, then, where's the story in that? ;)

Author's Response: There was this trend back in 2011 with OCs whose names began with A or were some random word that is never used as a name. Apostrophe Hyphen Colon just seemed like a natural choice 8)

I feel like Clemence just does what she wants and calls it cleverness whenever it succeeds, ha.

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Review #34, by SilverMoonFairy He Tempts Me, He Tempts Me Not

7th August 2016:
Wow, that walk away! This is torturous! They want to snog like mindless animals but they can't stand each other. "You're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy about it?" comes to mind...

I think I'm satisfied for the time being and am going to take a much needed break to work on my own next chapter. Woo! *fans self* You certainly know how to keep a girl on edge!


Author's Response: Ha! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far 8) these chapters are flagrantly fanservice-y and were SO fun to write.

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Review #35, by SilverMoonFairy Everyone Wants Me (Dead)

7th August 2016:
Wow, that was genius! I love Clemence, she's so quick on her feet and Al had only planned so many steps ahead. Gah! And that chase! I needed a glass of water to keep up!

I just want them to rip off their clothes already! I mean, *ahem* they would, erm, make a lovely pair. >.>

Found one technical, I think it's missing a word.

I don't have the strength fight him even if I want to.

That's all. Must keep reading!

Author's Response: The quirky girls already got a halfway headstart to ripping off his clothes, so it kind of counts?? I love that Clemence is both ingenious and also so full of herself that she could just as easily drive herself into worse situations.

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Review #36, by SilverMoonFairy Who Wears the Horns?

7th August 2016:


I love the Team shirts. (I have an old Team Jacob shirt from my Twilight fangirl days. My best friend got it for my birthday. She was Team Edward and WE WERE STILL FRIENDS, DOM AND ROSE! Sheesh...) I love even more how excited Dom is about the shirts.

OF COURSE he has an invisibility cloak! Dear lord, he is steaming the place up! I'd wide off my glasses if I wore any!

I will take some cake and put the pitchfork on hold, I'm heading for the next chapter!

PS, I had mentioned in a previous technical about Helen and Helena, and it's mentioned both in this chapter as Helen, so now I'm not sure what's correct...

Author's Response: I'M CACKLING. "the GOOD Potter. The LOW KEY Potter." That's what Clemence thought. That's what we all thought.

ngl, a lot of this was inspired by the Twilight craze, but only the very exceptional craziness that was reported on in the news. And I've been on fandom-heavy sites like tumblr long enough that I've seen how utterly unreasonable some people behave when it comes to their obsessions.

Dom totally has her priorities in order.

It's supposed to be Helen, but I didn't edit out all instances of Helena; that's what I get for editing out of order!

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Review #37, by SilverMoonFairy And All the Girls and Boys Merely Players

7th August 2016:
So, I love Clemence's take on the school and their sorting and she's absolutely right! One thing I love having in my stories are inter-house friendships, because really, the only reason Harry and Ron made it through school without dying was because Hermione should have been a Ravenclaw. Chalk it up to the Hat getting one wrong for a change.

I'm still in desperate need for this Dom/Scorpius/Pickett thing to be cleared up. And what does Rose think she's doing anyway? A war? Well, crap. I didn't think this story would get that heavy. I've still got 17 more chapters!

Found one little technical:
His mouth open like a goldfish and he is a sliver away from toppling off his chair.

And that's all!

Author's Response: Exactly! I think the basic concept of sorting based on similarity is flawed! Surely we can do better than to listen to a talking hat, even if it's sassy and old. It even hinders the suspension of disbelief required to think that all of our protagonists come from the same house.

A story about fangirls wouldn't be complete without a shipping war, would it? ;)

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Review #38, by SilverMoonFairy Kiss Me Twice, Shame On Me

7th August 2016:
I feel like I'm going to finish this story in a matter of day, if not hours. It's so torturous and tension filled and OMG I HAVE TO READ MORE!

You know, I'm normally a lot more detailed with my reviews because I stop and open a word document and remark on the scenes, but I can't tear my eyes away from this and now you're stuck with short reviews. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WRITE TOO WELL! XD

Al is... What is he DOING?! My heart is fluttering uncontrollably. They can't go to the QGA, Colon will gouge her eyes out if they're there together! I like how HE is changing HER and not the other way around, but I can't see Clemence just leaving what she does...

FAVORITE QUOTE: "Oh look, something suspicious! Your favorite kind of thing!"

Dom and Pickett better be married by the time this is over. What is she doing with Scorpius? Honestly!

Author's Response: THE SHORT REVIEW COMPLIMENT I'll keep this in mind. I also just read your comments on the book club thread and oh man you're so detailed! It's really cool seeing stuff analyzed. People ask me to analyze my own stories sometimes, but I really enjoy seeing what other people take from it.

I'm imagining you clutching Al's shoulders, 'what are you DOING, you can't DO that.' I'm sitting here steepling my fingers because back then, even I didn't know where this would all lead eventually; I THOUGHT I did, then I kept finding wilder ideas!

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Review #39, by SilverMoonFairy Marginally Better Than a Broom Closet

7th August 2016:
*breaking the rules and reading further after finishing all the questions*

Is THAT what changed the story? Because I may have done something rather similar in my chapter update last night. XD

Oh my gosh, my golly! The Quirky Girls are RABID. It's utterly ridiculous! A mob that shakes the floor and it's really funny that Al couldn't remember the password. Is he a Prefect even? Because that's funnier!

I knew he was up to something! Girlfriend indeed! And that kiss was EXPLOSIVE! HOLY CRAP! I'm still jumping from the squeeing! So, question- are they both ice queens? Because Al isn't exactly a bad boy. I'm not very good with subversion, lol.

I most definitely have to go on to the next chapter...

Author's Response: YES, THE REVOLUTIONARY SIXTH CHAPTER KISS. It was hilariously groundbreaking, you can read all the reactions from when I first posted it and it was just utter shock.

Albus isn't a prefect (I thiiink Scorpius is the prefect, I don't recall anymore). Also prooobably not cool enough to be an ice queen (pun intended). It's best not to squint too hard at any subversion unless you see something pop out at you; I wrote the fic for multiple audiences - you can happily read the story just for the characters/story; and then there might be some additional jokes/aha's for those who are familiar with certain tropes/references :)

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Review #40, by SilverMoonFairy Certifiably Quirky

6th August 2016:
I've been meaning to mention this for a few chapters, but I keep forgetting. I like how you segment the story, stopping to almost go into Clemence's personal notes on people and things, completely separate from the rest of the story, but still vital information for the reader. It's one of my favorite parts!

I'm beginning to think that Rose, Albus, and Scorpius are plotting to take down Witchy Business. Al, with his fake girlfriend, and Rose and Scorpius with fake rumors about breaking up.

Another wonderful chapter! I'm bouncing with excitement! I did find a few technicals.

The common room couches could put me in a coma when falling asleep is the last thing I want to do.
This sentence sort of reads like it ends with a different sentence.

Helen Nott keeps me up to date with the passwords.
It was Helena a few lines up.

before Yule Ball,
the Yule Ball or Yule Balls

Super excited for this story!

Author's Response: Writing etc in this segmented fashion gave me a lot of freedom to try different styles; very, very fun and enlightening!

You've already learned to trust no one! :D That will serve you well.

Thank you again! I'll have to fix these typos up (I didn't even notice the Helena one, because her name is "supposed" to be Helena but I don't use that in the rest of the fic, so moot point).

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Review #41, by SilverMoonFairy A Vivid Imagination

6th August 2016:
*squees* I love this! There's so much tension! And too much Mature Content leads me to imagining them pushing each other against walls, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!

I feel like Pickett is so on top of this Dom/Scorpius thing because he likes her and is jealous and is trying to make Clemence put a stop to it so he can keep his love a secret... OH UNREQUITED JOY!

Love the chess match! And he DOES like the banter! I feel like dancing in giddiness! *dances* I'm sad, though, because the first thread for the club is only for up to chapter 5 and I want to read it all, haha!

One little technical!

last afternoon' duel

And that's all!

Author's Response: My friend was reading it and she was like, "there is CONSTANT TENSION." Pickett warns you in advance, too :'D everything is sexual tension if you look hard enough!

My other friend made me a graphic for this story that literally just says "unrequited" so you can guess what that means, hehehe.

You can always take a sneak peek at next week's reading ;) Chapter 6 changed everything for this fic when I wrote it. I didn't plan it and it completely shaped the rest of the story. I saw the book club thread and oh MAN those are some quality questions!! I hope people participate! I'd tell people to, but not sure how many people are Ravenclaws?? If there was an open thread, I'd totally direct people there!

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Review #42, by SilverMoonFairy May I Have This Duel?

6th August 2016:
Holy crap, I suddenly ship Al and Clemence so HARD! Wonderful chapter! Pickett is brilliant and DOM TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF SCORPIUS! C'mon, why does she hate Rose so much? FAMILY! Sheesh!

What a show! That duel was amazing! That's something I have trouble with- writing duels and quidditch. You pull it off beautifully and WOW. I want to read it again!

Just a quick technical before I go, found this hiding in all that awesomeness-

But I'm won't make things worse.


Author's Response: HA! THE SHIPPING BEGINS! What would this story be without rampant shipping?

I'm pretty sure I used to hate writing action scenes but now they seem so fun?? Or maybe I'm just thinking after the fact. The duel was definitely a fun one :'D

Ahh, thanks for pointing out the typos; I know I have quite a few scattered throughout but editing on multiple fic sites has made it a hassle to actually fix them.

Thank you for another review!

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Review #43, by SilverMoonFairy Chess for Three

6th August 2016:
I am so in love with your story! It amuses me, actually, that Dom is a reporter. Not long ago, I was reading another story where she was also a reporter, a rather nosy and pushy one, too.

Clemence is wonderful! I love her and I hate her. She makes life interesting. She's very no-nonsense and to the point which makes her that much more hilarious to read. Cool and level headed, getting under the skin of those she investigates- OH!

Being a fan of the Everything Wrong With series on YouTube, I just had to say...

"...et cetera, et cetera. Life goes on." - Roll credits...


Author's Response: There's something especially infuriating about people like Clemence and Dom when they want something, because they're the type to pursue the thing until they have it, and their shamelessness about it is their greatest weapon ;)

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Review #44, by SilverMoonFairy Manic Panic Mondays

6th August 2016:
Holy crap! We're reading your story for Book Club and, wow, this is amazing! A relation of Rita Skeeter- I've been thinking of writing something with her recently but I don't think I can out do this. The flow and grace and outright audacity of your character is amazing and I love how she doesn't even like what she does, but she's good at it, so she does it anyway. Wow! I'm so excited for the rest of the story!


Author's Response: Ahh, how exciting! I hope you enjoy the rest! And definitely try to write that Skeeter story (ALL the snarky, underhanded reporters, pls). Thank you for your kind comments! c:

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Review #45, by Reader Epilogue

1st August 2016:
Im gonna be honest...I feel like clemence didn't really deserve a happy ending. She never really changed or atoned for her mistakes. A lot of this fic read as blatant wish fulfillment dressed up in pretty words.

Author's Response: Fair enough, I suppose we'll disagree here. I do think Clemence matured, and a big question about the fic is really whether anyone truly changes or atones. I don't think she needs to explicitly do so to arrive to this resolution.

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Review #46, by baletgir Epilogue

24th July 2016:
I'm so sad this is over, but I am really glad you've stick with it and finished this! It is so sad how many people have disappeared from HPFF and abandoned fics (I'm just as guilty of this), so it's great to see someone who is still dedicated.

I always come back to HPFF when real life is less than stellar, and it's great to be able to come back to Harry Potter characters because they are like old friends.

This fic was wonderful, and I reread the entire thing before finishing it and I loved it just as much the second time around. There were so many great aspects that I can't even pick a favorite twist, but it was really real. I'm so glad that she didn't end up with Albus, too easy. And Janey burning down the newsroom? I never would have guessed that, I was shocked, but it was brilliant!

I hope you keep writing, I look forward to reading other fics by you in the future!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I'd feel waaay guilty leaving stories unfinished, if I got this far. I did very nearly give up at the end, but I'm so glad I didn't. The response I've gotten for the last few chapters have been so rewarding *u*

I love that a lot of the twists were really just Clemence's expectations going awry; she's mostly burned by herself or by risky situations she knowingly enters - her wonderful running theme. Albus, too, defies her expectations constantly, from his initial impression to his last one.

♥ thank you so much! ^__^

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Review #47, by dawn_rising Epilogue

29th May 2016:
10/10 what an AMAZING story! I wasn't sure it would ever get finished, but it did and I'm so glad I stuck around for the end.

Author's Response: Thank you! It was a trial, but I finally did manage to finish it :'D

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Review #48, by a Epilogue

28th May 2016:
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Author's Response: I will take this as a good thing.

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Review #49, by Penelope Inkwell Appy Ever After

20th May 2016:
Wow. Clemence is straight up fractured. She's always been very ~in her head~, but ever since she sort of lost her identity in A Kingdom for My Name, she's been crumbling. It's like she makes less and less sense with each passing paragraph, constantly contradicting herself. Even she can't work through who she really is. I can't even decide if she's just more honest about her motivations than most people, or if she's internalized a lot of self-hate and casts herself as a villain because she's lacked many positive relationships. Probably a mix of both, I guess. But when she said, "It's me, isn't it?" I say, lip shaking. "The crazy one—it's me." I was just like, weeell...

kinda, yeah.

She might not be as crazy as Appy. But she's still lost a lot of her stability here. She's flashing so quick back and forth on what she believes about people, about love. She wants it; she never wanted it. She's heartless; she has a heart. Scorpius is pathetic; Scorpius is admirable in the purity of his love (so pure that he considered removing Albus' ability to consent to a relationship? But alas, that is a discussion for another day. I'm writing a story about Merope slipping Tom Sr. love potion, so I can understand a certain amount of well-meaning self-delusion, I guess). She can't decide if Albus is lovable and she's terrible for not loving him, or if she's really worth more than she has to offer. And the girl has no earthly idea about herself. She's a mess.

I hated everything, trusted in nothing, and in the absence of real purpose, it had been enough fulfilling this myth of myself. I wasn't happy but I was triumphant and that was almost the same. AND I didn't have enough heart for my prince and too much heart to play villain...
--the combination of these lines is basically everything I've been thinking about Clemence. She's been so consumed with the myth of herself, so stuck on whether to cling to it or admit that there is more to her.

He might not wait, but if Albus ever felt the same, he wouldn't hesitate if only to undo the hurt since then.
--I was a little confused by this sentence. To undo the hurt since when?

Even amidst all the angst, you keep the humor, which I appreciate. And honestly, I was glad to see the newsroom burn. It seems the best possible outcome for her, really. It's like she's been wanting to let it go, and destiny or fate or some angry girls finally made the choice for her. And I think it's going to be for the best. The real question is where on earth she'll go from here.

I wasn't really sad about her breakup with Albus. I'm about as confused about their relationship as she is. How good a guy *was* he, really? I go from being sad for him to tired of him and back to sad, but either way, they were a toxic pair. Nothing good was ever going to come of that, I don't think. Her crazy-dream Appy was right. Whatever mixed motivations she may have had, her relationship with Albus was really all about her rivalry with Appy. She has a lot to say about Scorpius, Rose, and Dom, but really her situation has been terribly similar. The whole lot of them were using each other, one way or another: Albus used Clemence to take down QGA and to be his reformed villainess, and he used Appy to strike out at Clemence. And then both girls just used Albus as a kind of tug-of-war piece. Really, it makes the situation between Dom, Rose, and Scorpius look positively healthy!

I was glad to see her finally cry in the end, finally open up to all her confusion. I don't really know where she stands--I still think Clemence is more than she believes she is. I think she has more capacity for kindness and affection than she realizes, but she's been in a toxic environment for a long time. She still has a lot of growing to do. I'm curious what this epilogue is going to be like, and I'd be very interested to see what Clemence turns into down the road. She's still trying to deny it, up till the very end, but by the time she's outright sobbing, it seems like she at least understands that she has the capacity for emotion, and that she isn't the heartless person she's pretended to be for so long. She's so prideful, but really she's tearing herself down all the time, and even at the end, she doesn't quite understand why anyone would care about her. She still thinks they're fools for it. I really do hope she finds some real self worth, outside of just being a successful writer.

I feel like Clemence's journey hasn't really been about finding herself so much as about admitting that she *doesn't* know herself in totality, that she doesn't have it all figured out. And that's okay, because she's young. She *should* still be growing and changing, not just clinging to this artificial image she made for herself at 14, when she wanted to take over the world (or Hogwarts, at least) and needed a persona to do it. I mean, I always appreciated her confidence, but it's been interesting to see her contradict herself more and more until she finally just kind of shatters.

I'm just hoping she can put herself back together--maybe with help--in a way that will make her happier. That she can have a chance. Because as long as she was clinging to that persona, how could she ever be happy. At least with the shattering, there's hope of rebuilding better.

Clemence has been a fascinating character with so many contradictions. I just can't wait to see how she ends up in the epilogue! It's always a pleasure to read your work. :D


Author's Response: Leave it to Clemence to have a bildungsroman that ends in fire.

Don't remind me about the contradictions! Trying to describe them while making sense was the absolute worst :'D Unorthodox as some of Clemence's story is, this really is her quintessential growing-up-teen moment. She has irrevocably changed over the past months and she is trying to go back to a version of herself that is no longer who she is. She's grappling with becoming someone she does not recognize, unsure of whether it's because it's who she really is or who the world is telling her is normal, and this is probably the first time she's ever had to face this, at this scale. She contradicts herself because she thought she knew who she was; she was so sure! She's always sure! And maybe she was right months ago, but not anymore.

I love the bit of darkness to Scorpius' secret, and also how it's sort of an unhealthy relationship on both ends, with Albus being relatively aware of how Scorpius felt about him. I think Clemence is mostly amazed that someone like Scorpius, who seems pure, could feel that strongly obsessive about Albus to rationalize love potion. (Also, oop, I can see why that line is confusing; I meant to show how Scorpius is functionally over Albus and isn't waiting for him or anything, but if Albus returned his feelings, Scorpius' feelings would come right back just to undo all the emotional torment since his crush began)

I asked myself many times how the newsroom should burn, as the impact and meaning changes with who lights it up. I could never see Clemence doing it herself, but if she saw it burn? I think, at that point, she would finally let it burn.

One big question I've asked from the beginning is, does love justify the means? Because so often in fiction, love is a cop-out justification, and I really wanted to address that in these relationships that are unhealthy but everyone is pretty honest and aware of it and manage to love and care at times despite that. There was good and bad - it was not all for naught! - but at what point does it become a romanticization?

And it's so great to finally see her cry - finally, a catharsis! It's the most hopeful crying I've ever written. Growing up, I had a hard time connecting with other people because I didn't have a large capacity to care; it was just who I was and I would assume other people were like me. I put a lot of that into Clemence's disbelief that anyone would care for anyone let alone her like that. It was really important for me that Clemence didn't have some tragic backstory that "justifies" her personality; female characters rarely get to have this emotional range without explanation.

Thank you so so much again! I can't wait to see what you think of the epilogue c:

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Review #50, by Penelope Inkwell Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

20th May 2016:
Oh gracious! I didn't realize I was so far behind, but now I don't even know if I'm emotionally prepared to finish this story.

I don't even know what to think. I feel kind of like Dom in this situation
--like, yes Clemence is using Albus. And in some ways I don't like that? But it's also his spotlight that's put her in this situation, and if she broke up with him now she'd lose her voice and her reputation altogether. Besides which, he's still far from perfect. I mean, I think he means well in that "nice guy" way that's so irritating--he sees himself as the hero of the story, no ifs, ands, or buts. The funny thing is that you rarely get someone who truly considers themselves the villain, like Clemence. It's interesting to watch her feel torn between her own persona. It's like she's built up this larger than life character for herself, and the truth is she's started to outgrow it--she can be more than just the 2-dimensional heartless journalist that she pretends to be, probably in an effort to win the approval of her aunt. But at the same time, she doesn't want that identity *stripped* from her by being Albus' girlfriend. It's all very tangled with the feelings and the motivations, and I don't even know quite what to think, at this point.

I liked that Scorpius got hired on to the Witchy Business staff. It's nice to see him being competent at something, after all he's been through. Different sides, and all. I could actually see him being a good journalist, in that way that you show--he's very disarming. Maybe not *clever*, per say, but people will talk to him. I wonder what *will* happen to Witchy Business, in the end. The number one thing about this chapter seems to be that Clemence doesn't really know who she is or what she wants anymore, and is just kind of holding steady and trying to ride out the tide and pretend more confidence than she really has.

And now, for the lines that were my favorite gems of the chapter:

A dark aura radiates around her, hissing and snapping at anyone too close—some sort of privacy perfume.
--I love these magical quirks you come up with. You could earn Fred and George a fortune just coming up with magical inventions for them to create.

"I understand young love can be volatile," Slughorn continues, "but do refrain from forming—what's the term nowadays?" Parchment rustles. "Ah. Armies."

"I won't deny that I've considered mild poisons...I don't take pinky promises lightly."
--there's the Appy we know and fear. I loved the turnaround there. She may have rebranded, but girl is as crazy as ever.

- My head jerks toward him. It tumbles out: "You looked!"

- He's a beat slower:
"You looked!"
--that was a cute bit. These two. At least they're on the same wavelength

"You're doing it again, by the way—that thing where you shame people for caring about you..."
--A++ Pickett! Call her out! In as much as I ship anyone in this story--which seems a risky thing to do, considering how shipping has gone--I ship these two. I mean, I'd be just as happy if Clemence ended up single, I think, but the thing is that Pickett gets her in a way that Al clearly never will. He sees through her illusions and doesn't turn her into anything she's not. Albus wanted to turn her into someone "good" so badly that now, when he looks at her, that's what he sees. Clemence looks in the mirror and sees someone bad, and that's not entirely true, either. I think Dom's a little too self-focused to really know (or entirely care) *what* Clemence is. She's willing to just accept her as a friend and be done with it. But Pickett--Pickett does get her. And at the very least, I hope he remains in her life. She needs someone who can see her more clearly.

I'm very interested to see how you're going to wrap this. I can't really imagine how it's going to end, but I'm eager to find out.


Author's Response: Ahh you're back!! I can't wait to hear what you think of the ending c:

I love hearing your analysis of the characters. I think all of what you say has some basis; I don't have easy answers to any of that either and you could go around in an endless chain of "yes well, but..." to argue for any side. Resent is such a big part of Clemence's current feelings. She might be in a decent situation and Albus loves her but can she get over how she got here? She's taking advantage of Albus, but she warned him and he must be aware of it on some level considering their history, so what of that? And then toss in an identity crisis, because turns out she's not always right about herself...

Scorpius was supposed to be a minor character and I remember suddenly having to drum up things for his future because he surprised me with all of his secrets! And some of those do make him a pretty good journalist out the bat, especially for a school like this.

Confused old Slughorn never gets old.

The end to this chapter is probably the most emotional part of the story, barring the next chapter, and it surprised even me. I knew Pickett and Clemence care about each other in a way that never needed verbalizing, but when it came time to verbalize it, it became such a vulnerable moment, exactly because Pickett gets Clemence and doesn't play her games; he gives her the choice to live up to her own words and she takes it.

Thank you thank you for the review ♥!

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