Hallo, here from the forums with your review!
First of all I love the simplicity of this piece. When I say simplicity, I mean that it's not 3,000 words like some one-shots and still manages to have the desired effect, and that is to be a pretty good story. I do not read too much on the Next Generation characters so I do not know what is the usually characterization for Scorpius and Victoire, but I will say that I liked your characterizations very much. While the story was't very long, it showed what it intended to show concerning the characters, their feelings, and mannerisms and that's good writing.
I like the longing in this piece and while its not tangible, I can still picture how Scorpius feels about Victoire staying with Teddy. You can tell when you questions her feelings for him and then how she isn't at all blinded and knows perfectly well what she is doing and what she is sacrificing.
All in all, a lovely piece. I liked it very much!
SD!Author's Response: Hi! I haven't read any Victoire stories at all and hardly any Scorpius ones, so I don't know what the typical characterization is either. I just sort of run with it :D I'm glad that even with its simplicity, it managed to have a clear mood and message, which was what I was mostly worried about at first. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow! Wasn't entirely expecting that considering Scorpius to fall in love with Victoria seeing as she's a lot older then him. But I love your descriptive language even before you said that it was (vaguely) inspired by the mid-west I actually pictured it in the mid-west. You're a great writer!Author's Response: Hehe, five years isn't that much! Especially when one hits the late twenties. I'm glad you got the visuals I intended :) Thanks for leaving a review! Report Review
NO NO NO
DIDN'T I CLAIM FIRST REVIEW? DIDN'T I CALL DIBS ON THIS?
BAH! LIZA!!! *throws muffins and various assortments of goodies*
Or I claimed first review on the next chapter of Game. But..still. :P
I love how you really set up everything for the reader - I could really SEE the dust in the road, and Scorpius's baby blue car which really did remind me of this strange Western movie I saw once on TV! You really got the mood down pat and everything. And um, I'm going to cross out the word "boring" in your A/N. That was definitely not boring - I could feel the emotions floating across the page towards me just like the wonderful waft that comes out of the oven when baking cookies. ^__^ It wasn't like I was being pelted with rocks though. Or stale biscuits, while I'm on this metaphorical roll here. There was internal conflict in the piece but it wasn't too overbearing on the reader or anything. Sometimes when I read stories that have characters with internal conflict I want to shake them and scream, "WOULD YOU MAKE A DECISION ALREADY?" I'm really glad that Victoire already knew that she was going to stay with Teddy, but ahhh Scorpius.gah. I feel kinda sad for Victoire, you know? I mean, she resisted Scorpius and that must've been really hard for her. You know I could totally see this kind of thing happening in a real Western movie. The middle aged lady has this husband whose health is going down a bit and she has to take care of him, but she also has this secret and young lover too. And then the young lover wants the lady but the lady feels like she has to stay with her husband. And then...well, yeah. :)
Well, hopefully I got something across through all that rambling, but yet again you've made a nice one-shot here :) Love the banner, by the dubs. And um there's probably no Vic/Scorpius 'cause the age difference but you've really made that age difference okay based on the situation, you know? Well, based on my formulated western scene from up there. Dunno how you got from Chi squares to Western, but if it works...KEEP GOING TO THAT POLI SCI STATS CLASS AND KEEP CRANKING OUT NICE STORIES FOR ME TO READ 8D
ONE OF YOUR BELOVED FANGIRLS,
JORDANN :)Author's Response: ;D You're my only guinea pig, if that counts for anything.
You and your baked goods! Muffins, baking cookies, even "metaphorical roll" could be a bad pun! I'm normally quite awful with description because it looks like I placed it in there willy-nilly, so I tried ultra hard in this one to make it all pretty and flowy... like the waft of baked goods, I suppose 8D (this is the most metaphorically descriptive review I've gotten, for sure).
I think what this kind of story makes me sad when reading/writing is that everyone makes the right, mature decision, but no one really wins. Scorpius doesn't get his love, Victoire gives up so much for a semblance of love, and Teddy has a wife who doesn't love him as much as someone else. Why am I writing such sad things? D:
I imagined Victoire as this hard-working prairie woman. I grew up on the Little House books, so that might explain things. Their age difference isn't that large, in truth, and not even as large as Teddy/Rose. 5 years isn't much as one gets older. I imagined Victoire to be in her late twenties in this fic.
THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW AND CAPSLOCK 8D Report Review
Finally, a Victoire/Scorpius! You're right, there's practically no Victoire/Scorpius. Strange, as Teddy/Rose seems fairly popular. Ah, well. Perhaps you'll start a trend? ;)
It is quite vague, but that's why it works. Know what I mean? It doesn't explain what happened in the past, but it doesn't need to. It's just about that moment between Victoire and Scorpius, nothing more. I mean, you provide a bit of the backstory but in a clever way. You're not exactly telling us; it comes along in Victoire's train of thought. I thought that was very, very clever of you! ^_^ While I'm a huge Teddy/Vic shipper, I understand what you said about Victoire loving Teddy so long and then simply falling out of love. It happens. And sometimes I feel like the two of them are obliged to be together. That's part of the reason (that, and my non-understanding of Teddy/Rose) I also like Vic/Scorpius.
Boring?!! Are you mad, woman? It was brilliant. It's not boring, it's got that kind of Midwest feel to it, you know? Very barren and dry, but beautiful in its own way. It's got that mood, as well. And the banner just adds to that. :)
You know I still haven't reviewed Game? Gah! This is my very first review for you... Man, I feel like a bad fangirl. xD Hahaha.
A lovely story, and the fact that it's Victoire/Scorpius only makes me love it more. ^_^
LizaAuthor's Response: Lizaaa! :D
Subtlety? Moi? Hehe. I think it's a consequence of how I typically write, that is, I generally write as if the scene is in the middle of a bigger story. So I end up writing vague references to the past. It can be a good or bad thing, so thank Merlin you think it's good :
I suppose I wrote this fic very generally, that is, very translatable to original fiction. A woman with a sick husband and a younger lover. She loves Teddy, but he's been so changed from sickness that he isn't himself anymore. I know a lot of Vic/Ted fics seem to have a 'fated' romance theme, so I wanted to play with the slightly less happy 'obligation'.
Not boring, I got it ;D And the banner is so midwest, I know ahaha.
Oh but what a lovely review it was *heart* and you took away Jordan's first review spot bahaha. She'll get you for that later, I'm sure. Thank you so much :) Report Review
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