Reading Reviews for Unraveling
44 Reviews Found

Review #26, by GubraithianFire Unraveling

7th January 2011:
I promised this review probably in October or November (or December), so let's keep this in mind: Gubby doesn't keep promises. But being snowed in (a little bit) and being bored and being otherwise fairly productive today, I thought I'd do you this smallest courtesy after all you've done for me the past few weeks.

You know the story of how I found this fic and I'm pretty sure I've told you how brave I think you were in writing it and in posting it, so I'll skip that part and actually talk about what this meant to me. I don't think this is at all like Napoleon - the natural connection I would make and still do after rereading it - because... I don't know, this is so much more intense than anything there.

Rose and Scorpius are so real, so down-to-earth, and so aware of what they're doing that it's almost self-destructive. I cringe to read it because of that element to the story and the characterizations; it's so raw and it cuts deeply into me, because I find a lot of myself in Rose too. I understand Scorpius, too, but probably not to the extent Rose does - I'd probably be more like Sylvia at the end, aware of his shortcomings but still desperate to fix him, whatever that means. And I really respect Sylvia, by the way, and her portrayal and how Rose sees her. She's not stupid, but she views things differently. Not everything has to be this big production, if that's the right word, for her. She doesn't think that life is necessarily as bleak as Scorpius would have it.

Gah, Scorpius... I don't want to say I love him (as we all know, it's sexy roguish Scorpius I adore), but he's just so - gah. That realization that Rose has at the end, that maybe his eyes were never hazy, that really got to me. Mind blown. He seems to enjoy the whole aura that being the "irreparably" damaged cynic gives off and he cultivates it. I remember you drew the distinction between Napoleon's usage of "You like power" and you said (I literally just looked it up): "strangely abusive yet necessary and understanding." Now this is just me speaking, but I don't think this was necessary. Rose grew up, maybe even Scorpius did (I'm glad you didn't elaborate so much about that), but... I don't know. I feel like there could have been a way to circumvent all of the drama. I feel like maybe, if they tried, they could have been happy. Or happier, at least. (This is me projecting my experience with Napoleon onto this, just so you know.) At the same time, even through that understanding, I'm not sure if Scorpius ever respected Rose, and I'm not sure he ever valued her as much as she seemed to him. And again, I like how you sort of remain ambiguous about that.

I know this does not make ANY sense whatsoever, but I'm finding it really hard to review this, for some reason, maybe because we've talked about it before and I don't want to rehash what I've said before. But... yeah. This story really resonated with me on a personal level and now I realize... this has actually influenced me a lot. Your Scorpius especially. It really made me think and feel, and while it wasn't sad, per se, I feel sort of like I've just cried and am now getting over it. I think. It's hard to explain. But... yeah, I hope this makes up for the delays and the broken promises and such, and please know you are my hero. May the socgremlin be with you! *love*

Author's Response: Okay, I've had this on my unanswered review for far too long (like, 2 days. Heh.) It stares at me every time I open up HPFF. I'm also typing out this response on a word doc because that's how long I expect this to be.

I think (and I say I think because every time I revisit this part of my life and this fic, my perceptions of it change) the problem of Rose and Scorpius is that they are *too* aware of what they're doing and indeed, self-destructive. It's like a friends with benefits sort of thing, but instead of sex, it's about sharing every bit of themselves -- without commitment. It's easy to see how that could fail. When I think about myself as Rose, I always see the dark side to my love of happy endings (oh wow, this sounds so angsty already). It was that belief -- the belief that the girl who understands best is supposed to win in the end -- that kept the drama going far longer than it should have.

Sylvia is really the strongest out of everyone, the one who tries to keep things together even when everyone is against her. Both she and Rose want to fix Scorpius, but she's the one who wants to help from pure compassion and not because she wants to be loved. That's the key component that sets her apart, and I really wanted to show how damaging Rose and Scorpius's selfishness was from that. And you've got it spot on for Sylvia viewing things differently. Rose and Scorpius take pride in complicating things. Cynicism becomes synonymous with truth. They both look down on Sylvia for not being the same.

I've probably mentioned something about how writing Unraveling was my coming to terms with this part of my life, but it was also scary seeing how much it stuck with me and how much I still am interested in figuring out the mystery of Scorpius, if there ever was one. I remember right after writing it, I felt that rush again, that need to know the answers, of why he does the things he does. I end on a relatively happy note, but I'm so glad you point out that I never elaborate if Scorpius grew up, whether he ever respect her, or whether Rose even did understand him. I like to think he did value her, but again, it's like my belief of happy endings -- that the belief that she did make a difference is just a way of validating what happened, a way of making Rose still "special" to Scorpius, because she was the one who might have changed him. And it a belief I'm still reluctant to let go of.

Rose and Scorpius were never really made to be friends; they know, or at least suspect, too much about each other to be casual. Rose could never take anything he says at face value. I remember I had the same exact thought about how unnecessary the drama really all was, and that was how it led to the thought that maybe it never meant anything to Scorpius. I think that at most he was grateful she was there and sorry that he couldn't give her the love she wanted.

But what I always remind myself is that in the end, it doesn't matter whether Scorpius respected her or whether they could have been. What matters is that Rose grew up, and as awful as the experience could have stuck in her mind, she looked back thankful. I guess there is a certain sadness due to the sudden disconnect of two really close people, but I also question how close they really were. They shared similar cynical opinions, something they desperately needed at the age of 15, but not so much at 18. Not exactly friends, but they had a certain inevitability to their relationship. Perhaps this is why I chose the word "necessary" before.

Just like how I tell myself to never regret the real life experiences that influenced this fic, I don't regret writing all this down every time I hear someone tell me about how this fic affected them. Knowing that it's influenced you is a heck of a lot more satisfying than knowing whether it affected Scorpius (so that that, cynicism!) Thank you so so so much for this review! *heart*

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Review #27, by Ravenclaw333 Unraveling

24th December 2010:
My first snowball fight review! Ah, I am quite a fan of your work, I must admit. (I haven't read huge amounts of it, but what I have seen I like.) You have an awesome talent for characterisation; you manage to build as vivid an impression of a character in a one-shot as many do in a novel, and I commend you for that. Rose and Scorpius are so real and believable, especially Scorpius. You've done a marvellous job with a complex character.
The story itself is brilliant. I related to it so much; to the situation, to Rose, and to the outcome, and you've injected a greater level of meaning into a situation that so many people can empathise with: You've turned it into a life lesson, and that's the hallmark of a great writer. 10/10.

Author's Response: Ah! Thanks ^___^ This oneshot's very near and dear for me, based on my own experiences and hearing you say that you like the characterizations and how it's believable, it makes my day! Rose and Scorpius are so very flawed in this fic and it's probably easy to hate them for all their selfishness, so I'm glad that people have been able to empathize and understand them.

Thank you again! :)

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Review #28, by ariellem Unraveling

22nd December 2010:
I like (god I need a thesaurus I only use like and love) the way you characterized Scorpius he seemed more realistic then a lot of other Scorpius's I've read. Same goes for Rose and I liked the ending it wasn't sad and it was nice to see Rose end up with someone that's not Scorpius that gets old.

Author's Response: Hah, I use I like and love and glad and really a lot xD It's all good. I think Rose and Scorpius have a lot of potential for many different kinds of stories with their kind of family history and the personalities they probably have. I think they definitely would have a story together in their time in Hogwarts, whether it's romantic, meant to be, or not :)

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Review #29, by Cathie Unraveling

8th December 2010:
I like this one a lot. It has the same feeling that I'm going through right now. Thanks so much for your work. Is helping me get through a period of depression.


Author's Response: Ah! It makes my day to know that my fic helped you like that :) I've found that Unraveling's ultimately has a rather hopeful ending. I hope you get through the rough times soon.

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Review #30, by Ellerina Unraveling

29th November 2010:
Hello Gina, darling.

This was lovely! I have a special place in my heart for stories that have a more fluid concept of time and I really liked the way you told the story. I also have a very deep understanding of the desire to 'help' or 'fix' a guy and having them take advantage of the fact, though I must admit I prefer the way Rose handled it.

This was a great character study of both Rose and Scorpius that was very believable and I enjoyed it a lot!


Author's Response: Hullooo Annie! I really love those ~fluid time~ fics too. They have that lovely conciseness to them. I suppose the blame goes both ways for them, as Rose knew he was taking advantage of her, encouraging it even, for the sake of believing he was really hers. I imagined Scorpius to know full well of this fact, and that he only pressed on because she let him.

Thanks for reading! :D

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Review #31, by HP0247 Unraveling

24th November 2010:
Really well written story that I enjoyed very much. Not the typical 'love' story, but a good exercise in bonding that will last. Moving on - sometimes is the best.

Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: Indeed, sometimes the relationships that aren't romantic are the ones that change people most! Thanks for the review :)

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Review #32, by djbreezy Unraveling

21st November 2010:
I was trying to find a Scorp/Rose story that didn't start with hate. I think I've found it :) Although it wasn't a full on romance, the dynamics between the two made my day.

Author's Response: Hah, I didn't realize it was so rare! I'm glad you enjoy their strange relationships :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #33, by TallestTower Unraveling

31st October 2010:
Hi! I'm so so sorry. It's Broomsticks from the forums with your review that you requested at the beginning of September and it's now... a day shy of November. I am SO sorry! I hope this can still be of some use to you, especially as I really enjoy reading this I feel kind of guilty that I'm not helping you!

First of all, I feel like I should say I never followed the Sco/Rose wave. I mean, I hated how people characterized Rose and I just wasn't really interested in them. I have to say, I was/am a massive Scorpius/Dominique fan, for some reason I can't explain other than I guess I just like them because they get less attention than Sco/rose? I don't know, nevertheless, I am a diehard Sco/Dom shipper and didn't really enjoy Sco/Rose untill I read this fic.

I absolutely adore the characterizations. They are both very annoying, very idiotic and very flawed. And yet it's so easy to love them. It was really a beautiful piece of writing. It was so easy to believe in these characters. With next gen anyone is free to do anything, but I believe that the way you portrayed them was very believable. Both of them are very irritating but in an interesting and compelling way, and I felt like shouting at the screen "Just love each other!" But of course they didn't, but I am glad, because it was more beautiful because of it.

I almost want to say the beginning was a little cliché, but I think that would be unjust. Of course, the old partner set up has been used before, but I sometimes think that's because it's the most common way for two strangers to suddenly be in a situation together. Sometimes, people are two worried about clichés y'know? Anyway... carrying on... please ignore my ranting!

I thought the characterizations were really lovely because it was clear from the beginning what the two characters were like and how similar they were to each other. I thought that first 'section' was a brilliant introduction for the story. The use of the matching wands was awesome. And there is something about this line which is so lovely:

[There was a slight hesitation as his brows furrowed almost imperceptibly, loosening as a short chuckle escaped his lips. "Mine is too."]

I could see it so clearly. That is another thing I wanted to compliment you on, the way you described them physically. All their little twitches and voice-tones etc, really built up the scene and made it so much easier to really know the characters.

This situation is so believable because of course she would be in love with him. An extract from one of my favourite books says something like "Girls think they can actually change guys. The thing is, if they actually did, they'd get bored. They'd want a challenge again." And it's true, I think that Rose and the other girls in this wanted to feel they they were needed - like it was their purpose to fix Scorpius. But if they did, then they wouldn't have that attraction anymore.

There is something so beautiful and raw and growing-up-ish about Rose's relationship with Scorpius. They understand each other perfectly, but they would only make each other miserable. I think everyone knows this side of themself, the brooding side, and how it feels to get stuck there sometimes, so that's why I think this fic is so relatable to.

I love how they don't end up together. It breaks my heart, but it's how it should be. It's so sad that they aren't even friends anymore. But it's got this beautiful honesty to it. And I'm not going to lie, I'd secretly love it if they found a way to be together, but then this fic wouldn't be as wonderfully unique as it is! Haha. But it's not a truley sad ending, it's just an interesting one. And yay for not romantic! Anyway, to conclude, I absolutely loved this fic. So much. It really is a wonderful observation of people and growing up.

Okay so as for the things you mentioned to me to look at in the request: well, I know it sounds cheesy, but not everyone is going to be able to relate to what you write. I don't think it's a matter of detail because the story flows well and is well explained, so for those people who aren't getting it, I think it's matter of they just can't really relate to the situation. I don't think you can make it any clearer. So don't worry about that :)

This was such a lovely piece to read because the characters were so interesting, and it feels like you can really talk in depth about them.
I'm sorry by how late this review is, a brilliant piece, if I ever got any good recording sofware I'd love to record it for HPPC or something.

Request again whenever you want/need!

Hope you're well!

edit: 0_0 omgz. I'm so sorry for how long this is. I didn't realize D: I ramble...

Author's Response: Wow, a review essay! *___* Hehe it's been changed a few times since I requested that review, but it's great knowing your view about this fic :D

I like to write stories that can be translated to original fiction easily, and Rose and Scorpius seemed to fit the role. And that's why I do indeed love next-gen. Heh, I think the partner setup is actually quite common in real life, because that's how I end up meeting most people I wouldn't normally talk to, so I tried to write it so it wouldn't seem obviously convenient.

I really have to owe my characterization and descriptions to the fact that this fic is based off real life (I'm trying really hard to match the quality in my other fics, but it's a struggle!). I'm glad you really like all the details!

For Rose, it's not so much about changing him, though she does wish she could be the one to change his disposition and make him happy. She wants to be the one who figures him out, the one that he needs by his side.

It's the kind of relationship that a lot of people want together, so you're not alone xD The allure's that they do really understand each other, and it's a very potent relationship to have. It's not so much as they aren't friends as their relationship has always been very odd to define since the beginning. They were never the type to simply hang out together for fun; it's almost as if they had a purpose for each other in order to make the other person grow up and that purpose was fulfilled.

After getting so many reviews of people who relate to this, I'm okay with it now :D I'm glad you like it too! And this is the fic I wanted to record first for a podcast when I have the time, so I'd love it if you wanted to record it!

Thanks for the really long review 8DDD I love rambling!

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Review #34, by butterbeergal Unraveling

6th October 2010:
Uhm, wow, this was brilliant! I admit that I was daunted at first because of the word count, but when I started reading, I couldn't stop.

You've created such deep, complex characters using the simplest of words. No fancy descriptions or dialogues -- everything was pretty straightforward, yet each line had so many facets to it. Gah. I can't even explain it properly!

It was quite an experience reading this. My heart broke so many times, and I was still hoping until the end that they would get together, even though deep down I knew that they could never be. At first I didn't get it - why couldn't they? - but as I read on, I understood. Scorpius put it perfectly: they'd kill each other before making each other happy.

It's been a while since I've read something like this. So simple yet so profound. Just in case it wasn't obvious, I loved this. Brought out so many emotions in me. Congratulations on such a fantastic piece!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm a pretty straightforward person when it comes to my writing, and though I'm learning to work with fancier stuff, I'm glad to know that the simplicity fit this fic.

If I hadn't gone through this myself, I think I'd cheer for them too. I think if Rose and Scorpius were a little stronger with more years behind them and more years apart, they won't kill each other, and they'd have a chance if their feelings were mutual. But it's a lot of 'what ifs'.

Thank you again!

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Review #35, by Margravine Unraveling

3rd October 2010:
This is just an exquisitely thoughtful and deeply satisfying story. This may be my ultimate Scorose, and the ending is perfect.

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading such a mature and beautifully written story, and I think you've created realistic, relatable characters. You should be very proud of this piece and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Author's Response: Ahhh, this means so much coming from you *__* This fic's pretty unique, since when it comes to fandom, I'm pretty escapist in what I like to read and write. This, however, is essentially an autobiography in a HP world. And I'm finding that I really do like writing from real life, as hard as it is to face the cynical bits, and reviews like yours really encourage me (as someone who does not typically write) to write more :)

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Review #36, by GryffinClawTherin_Vicky Unraveling

2nd October 2010:
I love the way this was written. You included all that you needed to. You worte the perfect amount. Rose was studious and stubborn, just how I expected her to be. Scorpious was just bloddy fantastic. I love the idea of this story. I also love

Author's Response: Thank you :) I like being concise and I think it fits Rose's voice well.

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Review #37, by mx Unraveling

14th September 2010:
I understand the lost feeling and Scorpius' negativity. Trust me.

Brilliant story. Is it finished? x

Author's Response: Yup. I intend for it to be just a look at how Rose and Scorpius changed because of each other. Glad you enjoyed it :)

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Review #38, by schoenemaedchen Unraveling

12th September 2010:
Hello there! Schoenemaedchen here with your review from the boards...

That is, if you still remember requesting the review. I apologize that it has taken me so long to get to this. I've been quite busy. But here I am.

So you're main concerns were that maybe you were tripping up the reader or that the story was clunky in places, and whether or not you've fixed it properly.

Most interesting is that you've labled your fic as complicated--I don't think its really complicated. The world is complicated, and this seems like a pretty good coming of age relationship story. Maybe its complicated for those who only read fluff and are used to clear cut endings, but I think its a great concept of a story you got here.

I'm a bit surprised you explained the story at the end in your Author's note, though. I think this kind of took away from the reader's own interpretation, at least for me.

This is just my thoughts on the matter, but when you put in an Author's note telling the reader what you want to happen, I think you open yourself up to more criticism, because the reader can say stuff like, "Oh geeze, well she did that really BAD or that was OK; I got that." Do you know what I mean? I think your story is great enough in content to stand alone without your A/N...really! I hope you haven't put the notes in just for the one person that gave you a review saying they didn't understand!

So in regards to clunkiness. I generally file this under the "flow" critique section of my review. This is a rather long one-shot, longer than average. That's not a bad thing, but you have an extremely large time span compacted into 5,600 words...

For me, personally, it was a bit overwhelming to have so much stuff happen in just one one-shot. Your content here could EASILY be put in a Novella or in x number of parts of a short story. So in regards to a solution of fixing things, that would be one possibility.

It is a bit clunky at time because you don't really have what I would refer to as "filler" information; you kind of just jump from one scene to the next. What kind of trips the reader up is the fact that the scenes aren't entirely related. There's no flow that connects the two scenes. If you want to improve flow, you have to find some sort of connection between the two or words that strongly show a transition in time.

On the other hand...though those are just suggestions for "fixing"...I kind of like the style. I think I would have really enjoyed the scene by scene style you did if it hadn't happened over such a long period of time. So I think what you're doing is quite within the realm of possibility, which is where splitting it up into like chapters wouldn't overwhelm the reader. Just an idea!

I wanted to say more to the general plot. I really did enjoy the concept you have behind your story. I think you've handled the characters in a very unique way and I really enjoyed the way you portrayed them. I actually am not a HUGE fan of Next-Gen, but the way you wrote your characters was extremely pleasant, I found!

Every scene you present in your story is great. You set up such wonderful scenes! I just think the structure surrounding your story takes away from it a little bit. The conversations that Rose and Scorpius have are great. So, definitely big compliments there.

Sometimes in your plot it was a bit confusing, like where you talked about his apprenticeship. I mean...I know what you're talking about, but it is something not really covered in the books in detail. This is where you can definitely take some more creative license and add some things. It would be great "filler" material as well.

I realize this review was kind of full of CC, but I want to emphasize to you how I really enjoyed the basic concept of your story! I think your concerns about flow and understanding would be alleviated if you just changed the structure up a bit! Thats kind of my summary of the review.

Otherwise, yeah. If you do make any changes in the structure and you want some feedback, would love to remark. Just request on my page once again.

Take care and great work!

Author's Response: Hullo! :) Thanks for leaving such a long review!

I guess I've always been ultra-self-conscious of this fic because it's so personal, and I was always afraid it'd be confusing and people wouldn't get it. I do actually have an edit that takes the explanation out I think, it just hasn't gone through yet.

Something to connect the sections better, that's a great idea! I'm glad you like the scene by scene style though, because it's my intended structure (to sort of keep things brief & relevant), but I'm still learning how to execute it properly. I think I might resubmit with different years as a different chapter, so it's a short story. I was never a good judge of overwhelming length, as someone who loves really long one shots xD

Thank you once again for your review :)

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Review #39, by Mediocre Unraveling

30th August 2010:
I love this.
I hope it's not cliche to say, but I feel like you've written the last 3years of my life in HP form lol.

I think the key point was being grateful for the years as a learning experience, regardless of the heartache that came with them. I know I would be half the person I am without my experiences, and I think you understand this only too well.

Thanks for such a wonderful story. I think this is one of my favourites on this whole site, you struck the right balance between description and truth.


Author's Response: This fic is definitely based on my experiences with learning from my mistakes, and writing about it let me embrace them for what they made me. Growing up is all very complicated so it was tough to capture into words. That you can relate to the experience really makes me glad I wrote this all down. Thank you! :)

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Review #40, by Jenna822 Unraveling

26th August 2010:
Hello! Here with your review.

So, right off you set that they were in the same House, but which one? I know JK established Scorpius was a Slytherin, is that where they are? Cute with the wands. :D

Rose is funny, she's like her mom and dad combine. Clever and a bit of a show off.

So, overall it felt really rushed and packed. I didn't really understand about 90% of it, to be honest. I mean, I understood what was happening, but not a lot of why or whathaveyou. It was almost like you took a section from each chapter of a long fic an combined them.

I did get the message, like you said. Not everything is ribbon and bows and such, but it was still a little whispy. I didn't feel like I got a lot of content, more just fragments.

Sorry. I don't like being harsh or anything. :/ --Jenna

Author's Response: Hi! I put them in the same house but as to which one is up to the reader. In the end, the fact that they are in the same house is more important than which one. Heh, I didn't know that JK said that Scorpius was a Slytherin.

It's okay, I understand that the sort of fragmented style can turn people off. Being vague was part of the intention, though I'm not sure how to execute it better. I guess I'm alienating half my audience, haha. In a way, I do want it compact, to just focus on the important parts of their interactions, but maybe I'll expand some parts to sound less rushed. But I also don't want to compromise the style of the fic at the same time, so I'll have to think about how to do it.

In the end, I guess I just wanted people to leave with the feeling that both of them grew up because of each other. I think I'll clarify Rose's transformation a bit more.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #41, by livxlaughxlove Unraveling

25th August 2010:
I lovee this story.

Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^

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Review #42, by moonbaby11 Unraveling

24th August 2010:
Wow. This was just wonderful. Really, I loved it and I'm glad you asked me to review it! :)

Anyways, I really liked how you characterized Rose. She was quite different form a lot of Rose's that I've read about before, so I really liked that. :) Scorpius was rather interesting too, even if he was a bit of a jerk at some points. :P

The ending was really unexpected. I didn't think that they would both just move on, so congrats for not having a predictable ending! That being said, I really liked the ending that you chose, and how they both sort of used each other as stepping stones along the way to becoming more mature. Really brilliant.

There were a few errors in this, but I believe that most, if not all, were just typos and words being in the wrong place. Nothing too major.

I didn't really find any parts to be too dry or too rushed. I thought that the flow that you had to it suited the feel of the story just fine.

Overall, a brilliant story. Definetly being added to my favourites. ;)

Author's Response: Aww thank you! :) Heh, Rose's characterization is really up in the air in the books, so I just took the fact that she had the pressure of being from a talented wizarding family and Scorpius pressure from the Malfoy name and ran with it! And both of them are jerks, really xD But maturing jerks!

Yup, in the end, it's more coming-of-age than romance. Though they both learned their lessons, I don't think they would ever truly be able to eke out a happy life together. They are, as Scorp said, not meant to be that way.

I submitted an edit earlier that fixed up some syntax stuff. Hopefully I caught most of them. xD

Thanks for reviewing ^__^ Glad you enjoyed it :D

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Review #43, by xtinjsc Unraveling

24th August 2010:

Woah! This is definitely far from the fluffiness that I was used to read from you. But it still had that traces of justonemorefic on it. Like the beginning of this, when Rose and Scorpius became partners - a little cliche, yes, but as always, you managed to 'de-cliche' it with how you developed the story and the characters. It's very nice to see you writing more!

There's this one scene, during that Divination class with another boy named Edgar, that slightly confused me at the beginning. When Scorpius and Rose were talking, I had this impression that they were the only two people in that table. Then Edgar spoke in the end, about the two being the biggest elitist he's ever met, and I was like 'who's Edgar again?' Haha. Made me laugh.

I love Rose in this story. Really. She's not the usual Rose I'm used to reading from other fics. Usually they portray her as Hermione's carbon-copy, almost perfect, even shy, and I like how differently you chose to write her. You didn't waste time to sugarcoat her to us readers by showing us how beautiful of a person she really is and THEN showing us her flaws - you just went right in there and said Rose is an egghead, don't mess with her!

A lot of times, I don't really get the whole 'bad boy attraction' thing, but I think you really made me think about it more just by reading this. Not that I considered Scorpius a 'bad' boy in the story, he's more like a brooding presence I guess, but I sort of get why Rose was attracted to him. Yes, I think 'attraction' is the word I want to use here. I don't think she's really in love with him. Like this statement from her:

"You say all these things like you're the world's punching bag, looking for pity. But really, you're just looking for attention. So stop sounding like you're better than everyone else."

She simply gets him, you know? And being as young as they are, I think it's normal that Rose misinterpreted her feelings. Besides, I think it's in her personality too. She's very intellectual, she loves to be challenged and Scorpius is just like a one giant jigsaw puzzle for her to solve. When she finally figured him out, she got possessive, it was her who solved the mystery behind him after all, so in a weird, twisted way, he did belong to her. But I think Scorpius had a better weigh on her character than she had with his. You've shown that beautifully with this line:

"But we'd kill each other before we make each other happy."

Scorpius is a git, because he used her in some sense; but then Rose used him too, in a way, so that makes the two of them gits. Haha. I'm so happy for Rose when he found Eli. She lost herself a little, while she was busy chasing after Scorpius and I didn't want to see her that way. The ending to this is a happy one, I think. Moving on is always good, after all.

Gosh, look at how long this review turned out! I don't even know if you can call this a review. I'm sorry if some of the things I just said didn't make sense at all. Haha. I was so intrigued with the characters here that for some reason my brain just went into analytical mode.

*attempts to make a decent review with the last paragraph*

In a nutshell, I simply loved how you wrote this whole complicated pseudo-romance relationship between Rose and Scorpius. Very nice. I honestly enjoyed reading this. Keep writing (you know you want to) ! ^_^

Author's Response: I totally have been stalking my reviews tonight. And I was like OMG, I didn't think I'd get such a long one so soon! *__* And yes, this is far from fluffy xD

I haven't read much Next Gen fic, other than parodies, so I guess I don't have much to base it off of. Since Rose is like an OC in that we don't know much canon about her, I just sort of... projected, I guess xD

And YES, BROODING BAD BOY ATTRACTION! That is exactly what I wanted to get across! Puzzles--plenty get obsessed with trying to figure them out, especially someone like Rose. And with how well they understand each other, she does mix up infatuation and love. You don't know how much I love you right now for putting that all into words *__*

And they are both gits indeed! But ah, such is the way of growing up. It's very scary going down that road, but it just makes it so much better when they're able to finally slap themselves silly and get a grip!

I'm just so happy you *got* it, because I basically wrote everything that I could remember from my own experience and I was worried that it wouldn't make sense to anyone else xD But it seems that I have got the point across. Complicated pseudo-romance, woo!

Thank you so much for this review ^_^

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Review #44, by marciabarcia Unraveling

23rd August 2010:
I think part of my heart just broke.


Author's Response: Oh dear, but hopefully it was worth it to see both of them grow up! :0

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