Well, I've heard a lot of good things about this story since I've been reading fanfiction, and have never really had time to read it - until now! I'm so excited to carry on reading, though, because this was such a great first chapter :)
I know you said at the beginning that this is getting on a bit in age now, and you've majorly edited it, and also that its different to your writing style, but actually, I really did enjoy this, and I don't think any of those things matter at all. This was so fun and such a fantastic way to introduce this fic, even if you feel it is older now :) I love that you've introduced Rona totally legitimately. Usually, I'm a bit wary of OC's - but Rona...I like her a lot! She's cringy and she's got a temper and I just know she's going to make me laugh LOADS! I love her relationship with the Quidditch team. She kind of reminds me of the mother hen :) I also love Oliver in this too - the way he doesn't refrain from making the situation any more awkward than it has to be, and goes right ahead with making Rona look silly. I like that they're not instantly and madly in love or anything - rather, a conflict makes for a good read! It's gonna be so cool to see how you make them really soften to each other and find some common ground - asides from being Quidditch fanatics of the opposing teams.
Aside from the characters and the way this is so funky and colourful, your writing style does really stand out here. I was majorly impressed while reading this and actually thinking in the back of my head ways I could improve my own writing. This sounds very effortless and you don't overload with info or anything - it's perfect! I am really excited to read some more :)
Laura xxxAuthor's Response: OMG LAURA. OMG. LIKE OMG. OUT OF NOWHERE ♥
I always get so mood swingy about Game. I've had times where I hate it and times that I get super nostalgic and want to squish the whole cast. But every time someone pops in and reviews and I take a peek at the chapters, I can't help but love it all over. They're my first cast :3 and kind of a kitchen sink of all my stories. Looking back, Game was trying to write in everything that I liked - ensemble casts, stubborn-arrogant-competitive people, liiies and plot twists, adorkable leading men, smexy leading men *cough* - things that I've learned to refine in later stories.
Heh, Rona's awkwardness is all my own 8D she has my tendency to say things I know I shouldn't say, at the very worst times. There is no brain-to-mouth filter. Also the same wee obsession with upper arms and Charlie Weasley ;D
Eeep, I hope you enjoy the rest! Report Review
It was exactly thirty-eight minutes into the Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff game, and she had already shouted enough profanities to make a dementor blush.
I just love that line xD. Just thought I'd say something. Lovely to reread this :)
~GillAuthor's Response: One of the lines i put in when I rewrote it :D Heheh, I still get all nostalgic when i poke through. Thank you! ^__^ Report Review
Okay, I was not expecting that. Brilliant-o!
(He knows; he so knows).Author's Response: Hee glad you're enjoying it ;D Report Review
i finished this story a while ago but i was just looking through all the chapters to see the chapter images
and i have decided that they are AMAZING!!
please continue the sequel :)
~The Little One~Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm definitely trying to find time to keep up with Play ^__^ Report Review
I'm terribly sorry, RL has got me swamped, but I promise to be better(;
One thing I noticed is your style of writing. I really like it, it's very... Unique? It just seems very different and quite creative.
You're characterization is quite lovely, that's definitely one of your strong points.
The names are unique, and they seen to fit the characters well, from what I can tell. I'm not going to lie, I really live Oliver, so it kinda drew me to this story.
I'm honestly going to be jumping around on your stories, because there's just something quite compelling about your writing. That sounded way less cheesy in my head(; but still!
EverAuthor's Response: I generally write like how I would talk. Game is a tad rough around the edges, but I can definitely see how my style developed from here.
Hee, Oliver is definitely a charmer. He's also cast with Tom Hardy, which definitely helps.
My writing's changed quite a long since I wrote Game (which was my first fic). Thanks a bunch! :) Report Review
WOW!! one of the best fanfics i've read :)
i've been too lazy to review because i haven't been bothered to log in and therefore i would have to write a name in then image verify etc. etc.
i am quite lazy...
i love Rona's character and the teams meddling :)
love how they bet on everything :)
i can't wait to read the sequel!! :)
i love the little quote and rona's response to it :)
thanks for the read :)awesome humour added into it all :) loved it all in general :)
~The Little One~Author's Response: Thank you! ^__^ it's quite old, but it was a ton of fun to write as my first fic. Silly competitive Quidditch people 8D Report Review
Your story is making me grin and I feel as though the rest of the library is catching on. Haha. I love it so far!Author's Response: Hee, I'm glad you like it so much ! ^__^ Report Review
It took all of my will not to burst out laughing in class! I love this!Author's Response: Aw, thanks! :D Report Review
I'm here because I listened to this as a podcast, and I like to read along while I listen so I can concentrate better. :P I believe this story must have undergone some minor edits since the podcast was made, is that correct? There were a few places where the words didn't quite match up, but mostly everything did match. :)
This was a very entertaining beginning to a story! Rona was a fun character, full of spunk but not one of those crazy/random OCs, which kind of get on my nerves after a while. She seemed to have a little more depth than that. Also, I got a kick out of her interactions with Penny! Having the two friends sort of playing off each other with the dialogue and situations just made it more entertaining.
You also know how to end on a cliff-hanger or note of interest. :PAuthor's Response: Oh hey! xD It diiid. I just... edit constantly -cough- Although I haven't really edited anything in the past 7 months or so. Everything looks so strange now when I read it again!
Rona is my first OC, arguably my most normal. She's some weird mashup of my own qualities, not gonna lie there. Game's also the only one where I get to have all this girlmance going about 8D I do miss writing those.
And I love my cliffhangers. This has not changed ever. :D Report Review
Aw really enjoyed the story. You're a fantastic writer and thanks for finishing the story :D Loved it!!Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
There are a lot of Quidditch related fics on the archives, and I have to say, this is one of the best. You've managed to create a realistic character who just makes me laugh out loud, even though she doesn't exactly tell jokes or anything; it's just the way she is and the personality you've created for her, and the way the characters interact. It's hilarious :)
And argh! WHAT a cliffhanger! :P
Can't wait to read more,
LWG xAuthor's Response: Aw thank you! It's very very very old now, hehehe, but it got me started on a lot of things I'm writing now. Especially my love of large casts. Report Review
Ahhh I loved it! I have to admit, I wasn't sure I'd like it at first glance, purely because I'm a huge fan of incomprehensible fluff and a whole lo of snogging, not to mention shirtless scenes (or naked, which you did include) when Oliver Wood is involved. (He is my weakness in the Harry Potter world of undeveloped characters.) But honestly, it was funny, it was clever (and believe me a lot of authors can't pull off the intelligent Ravenclaw but you did!) and it included a lot of truth about relationships! A few clichés, but they're my favourite, so there we go. Thank you for the wonderful writing and I can wait to see what you have planned regarding the sequel!Author's Response: Bahaha this has the most snogging, incomprehensible fluff, and shirtless scenes out of any story I have ;D Oliver Wood is a glorious being. It's quite old now, but still has a lot of parts I still love. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Yes, I did stay up until 5.30 IN THE MORNING to finish this! It was effing amazing!!! Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! :) Report Review
Ok, I am a mass critique when it comes to novels and I must say, this is the most amazing first story chapter I've read!!! I didn't even notice I had read it all until I'd reached the bottom! Yeah, you've got a talent for writing. Definitely.Author's Response: Thank you! :) It's a rather old fic, but I'm glad you like it so far! Report Review
So I've been meaning to read this for a while, actually! And hoorah, I finally have. Anyways, I just thought this story was lovely. I especially liked the way that even though you were juggling a lot of characters, you somehow maintained consistency with them. I would have liked to have gotten a bit more out of some of the characters, but they're not called minor characters for no reason, right?Author's Response: Thanks! :) There are definitely things I would do differently now, but I'm still quite proud of this first foray into fic. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
I love you. Just so you know. You are officially my favorite author on this site. :)Author's Response: Eee, really? Thanks so much! ^__^ Just had a long day, so this really means a lot. Report Review
First thing to say is this chapter made me laugh a lot. Your main character Rona is amazing and has great depth and brings a lot of life to the story, making some things like book reading, that to some would be classified as boring and skim worthy to be something to read and take in constantly.
I also like the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team in general, all the characters seem, even after one chapter to be different and bring different aspects to the scene. And Penny, how she actually went through with silencing Rona was great.
One of my favourite parts would have to be the awkward moment between Oliver and Rona when she thinks she is being spoken too, how so rambles on, it was very amusing and gave a little bit more of Rona's personality and evasive techniques.
It's a great first chapter and I am enjoying reading the whole story. I love your writing as usual and shall be reading and eventually when I have the time reviewing the rest of the story/series.
-Steph-Author's Response: This fic's quite old, but I still get nostalgic about it 8D I forget how many character I introduce in the first chapter alone, heh. Practically everyone! Rona's not so evasive as much as lucky ;D
Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Hi again :D!
My review was too long - can you believe it?! So this is the second part (and I can't review twice the same chapter, so I'm a guest, dammit, what's wrong with authorities of this website?).
Here it comes:
""HARRY, THIS IS NO TIME TO BE A GENTLEMAN!" Oliver's voice boomed over the din. "KNOCK HER OFF HER BROOM IF YOU HAVE TO!"" Yay, I remember that from book. Fun!
Wow. I mean. It was really smoothly, smartly and nicely constructed. At first I was thinking: "Oh, another silly romance, I bet". Then I though "Well, it's not that silly after all, but still nothing special". And then - POOP (please, don't ask me why 'poop', I have no idea xD) - somewhere in me there was growing this admiration for your work. I could see that you actually was thinking during writing. And about the story. You made some smart moves. Somewhere in the middle I felt weird and I was worried and dazed, and was concerned just like Rona was. Then it wasn't actually pleasure to read (but in a good way, you know xD). Yeah, I'm still impressed. And surprisingly glad. It's hard to find a pearl like that in this trash called the Internet. Especially in not-your-native language. Merlin, I was lucky :D.
Weak points, right. I think that you write a little too little about other characters than O. and R. The two of them were solidly and plausibly developed, I believed in them (if I can say that) - they were human. Like: they were so real I could believe that they really exist somewhere. But the others? I could tell a little about Hannah (well, she has some personality, but she's still a stranger), Jeremy (little more), Roger (very little, but something) and the rest is just… I don't know. This girl with name on "E" mixed up with Penny in my mind and I'm not sure what have done one and what another - and what is their character like (aside from things like 'such a good friend', 'oh, she sees everything, she knows Rona well' and stuff like that). It's not like you didn't write anything about them, I'm sure about that. But still I've started reading yesterday and I really have no idea what they all really are. I have a bad memory, but not that bad (I hope xD).
It's late, so I'm going to sleep now, but I will probably [most likely (for sure)] read The Mysterious Sequel (but I have unfinishedstoriesophobia - so it may take me some - unless I'll succeed in overcoming my fear xD).
I hope I didn't make as much mistakes as I think I did (and if I did, then I'm sorry and I hope you won't get distracted by that ^^').
Thanks for fun!
In the first part there's something which didn't happen to show, weird:
""I accidentally told him yesterday. And I don't know if the feeling's mutual." Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, this sounded even stupider out loud. "Logically it isn't. But he makes me feel like it is. Ugh, he must be a bloody pro at this, laughing his arse off at what an easy target I am."" - Ah! Love your writing, really. "Makes me feel like it is" - why don't everybody write normal, logical things like that? WHY?
"What seemed like a matter of seconds... was a matter of seconds." God bless you xD.Author's Response: I adore my minor characters, but I think I simply didn't plan far ahead enough to handle all of their subplots. They do take a more prominent role in the sequel (if I ever get far enough on it ;_; but don't worry! It's kind of like a series of fluffy one-shots, if anything. So even if I don't finish, there's no cliffhanger or loose strings).
I've gotten really lucky with the plot points I chose, because I didn't plan enough. I was able to make it work with what I had and I just kept chugging along xD
Thank you so so much for your review! Even though I've moved on from this fic, there's still so much of me in here, and this is where my writing got started, so it's been lovely to remember that.
Btw, you're the 600th review! :D Report Review
I wanted to say that I'm really impressed and I'd love to express it properly, but my poor vocabulary wouldn't let me. Can't help it. I probably will sound (er, in writing?) like twelve year old or something (adding to that some impossible mistakes), but I has to say it no matter what: I'm impressed (yeah, I know I've just repeated myself, don't worry xD). And now I'm going to explain (because compliment without explanation is, well, from some point almost useless). There's loads of romances on the Internet (I've discovered America, I know, but there's a point there, really xD). Loads. But there's very low percentage of good ones. And now let's explain a good one (at least my definition): smartly and nicely written, with characters, who actually have a character (sounds weird, ugh), logical (in people's behavior, thoughts, dialogs, plot and other important stuff), interesting. There're a lot of them (low percentage, but still: a lot of them). And there's this subcategory. Stories where there're no clichés like "I hate him and he's SO NOT handsome" (thinking: God, I'd just snog him for my entire life if I could) or super-human girls, who have these strong nerves, never shows her emotions never speak about them - and never even tries (they're all teenagers, for god's sake!, most of teenagers - even that hurt ones - still have hope and want people to support them, to know their issues, right?). No clichés like that, but still - there are clichés! But written, hmm, perversely ^^. Okey, Nadia, don't stray from the subject. The thing is that that is the first time in my life when I saw a romance with a girl, who thinks like a real girl (and not this fake one who are just made to make things more interesting). Rona is reasonable: "He's hot, I have to admit it" and then "Well, I've just realized I fancy him; I have to live with that" and then "He asked me if he's handsome, it's ridiculous to lie" and then "I've just told him I like him and I didn't want to - it happened, so I have to deal with it" (not: "Oh, I was joking, you dumbass. How pathetic of you to believe it") - and this all happens quickly (by quickly I mean like in real girl's mind: there's this time when you start thinking about spending time with a guy, kissing him and other stuff and you know you like him, even though you don't want your friends to know - but you KNOW it) and there's no over…thinging things (ah, a new verb, I'm a genius) like "Oh, I love him already. And trust him. And want to be with him for my whole life." - there're good sides about a crush and bed - like it is in real life, not only idealization of a feeling. And there's no: "Oh God, I actually DO fancy him - and I DID all along, I was SO blind") - when she starts fancying him, she just does.
Well, and there's this second thing which will completely destroy all I've just written. Rona is somewhat like me - rationalizing, not lying to myself and others (well, in some cases telling half-trues), always willing to forgive (especially when I'm positively surprised by someone), competitive. God, I've never read nothing about me, it feels so good xD. Uh, I'm egocentric.
Anyway, it's also good to see that you write: she's a Strategist and then there's this realization that she's not a Strategist only because you wrote she is, but also because she thinks like one: she's logical, rational, constantly analyzing - that's really something. And rare (unfortunately; people like to give a talent to characters, knowing anything about it).
Yeah, I think now I can read the rest (I'm, like, in 8 chapter? xD). And I couldn't help myself, I had to write it then, because I was afraid that I'd forget it ^^'.
- Ah! Love your writing, really. "Makes me feel like it is" - why don't everybody write normal, logical things like that? WHY?
God bless you xD.
Oh, I've just remembered. There's also one (quite important) thing that, I think, isn't good at all. And I mean the whole "Who is the Strategist?" thing. Because Rona should be the first one to be thought of when it comes to this (God, I don't know if this sentence is correct, kill meee). Seriously - gossips about mysterious Strategist and a girl who is not on the team but constantly hang out with players like if she was on the team. I really don't think that would be THAT hard to figure it out.
And it was nice "trick" with these rare Oliver's POV's. I have to tell you - for some time I was really considering that, after all, he could be pretending (partially).
I've just (chapter 14) figured out that Penny was Penelope Clearwater from the books. Yes, I am THAT smart xD. I should be in NASA, or something, really.
Author's Response: O_O OH MY.
Wow, thank you so much. I haven't gotten a review on this for awhile, and it's so nice to remember what I loved about it. This fic has gone through many, many changes. I was originally inspired by a lot of those love-hate tropes, and at some point I thought to myself, 'These kinds of couples seem kind of annoying and illogical so much of the time.' And I realized that a lot of the stumbling blocks in these snarky, tomboyish girls/jerk with a heart of gold guy couples depicted in fiction are quite unrealistic. It's always about denying their feelings and small little cute moments in between the fighting that are supposed to make up for it, but that never happens in real life (and you can't build a relationship on that anyway). So I decided to pull things I've learned from my own life instead. Things are always messier and more awkward in real life, and that's part of the humor and charm of life, I think :D
So all that you mentioned about Rona being like a real girl -- I really really appreciate that :) She overreacts, but it's not like her life is over. She gets hurt, but Oliver is still just a guy.
When I did my rewriting, I did see the fact that the original premise of the fic was kind of absurd, where no one knows that Rona is the Strategist, but I'd already wrote so much that it was too hard to change. I've tried to make it sound as feasible as possible, like it wasn't as big of a secret as Oliver made it sound. Rona doesn't realize she's that important to the team until Oliver starts supposedly looking for her. There are definitely quite a few plotholes that I never managed to patch up.
Haha, I love writing Oliver's PoV! :D He's so adorkable.
Phew, onto your next section! Report Review
I love this story!
I thoroughly enjoyed this one.
Excellent.Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
that was unexpected, but i liked it. i'm a little confused about whats going on though. oliver keeps saying things that just dont seen to make sense at all but i guess they will eventually.Author's Response: I hope you aren't too confused! Rona's quite confused as well, and there is definitely something else going on ;D Report Review
A lot of things happened in this chapter but the most important one is the fact that OLIVER KISSED HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!Author's Response: WHO CARES ABOUT CHARACTERS AND PLOT? KISS!
snerk but no really, this was my first kiss scene everrr. It's been so long~ Report Review
I absolutely and most definitely LOVED this entire fic! In all honesty, I really don't remember the last time a fic (especially one with OC's) grabbed my attention right from the beginning and made me never want to stop reading. But yours did.
I love the entire concept and plot of the story; the original characters are really amazing and they have very defined personalities, that we get to know better as the chapters go by; your writing style is marvellous to read and very, very addictive (in an EXTREMELY good way)! :D
You did a truly great job with this one!! I just won't write more on this review because I can't wait to start reading the sequel, haha. xD
-Catairly (:Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much :) It really means a lot, because this was my first fic, and I've changed it a lot over the months as my writing improved. I'm quite an abuser of cliffhangers as I remember ;D Report Review
Hannah is my hero. She's absolutely brilliant.
In all actuality, all of your OCs are brilliant. They've got such distinct and dynamic personalities, but not in a "in your face" sense. It's natural. It's awesome. And it's making me even more envious of your writing talent.
The Oliver/Rona interaction is oh so very entertaining and I really hope that it happens in every chapter. It's weird to think that there's only 14 left after this. I don't know why, but it doesn't seem like an awful lot, especially at the rate I'm devouring the chapters.
Anyway, it's brilliant, and I'm disappointed with myself that I didn't read this sooner.Author's Response: HANNAH IS THE BAD IDEA BEAR.
Game is actually the only fic where I get to write the whole girls-in-a-dorm dynamic and has the most normal situations (that are ruined by a hot guy, ofc). It's quite fun in that sense for me to write 8D
I DID ACTUALLY MAKE A POINT TO INCLUDE A LITTLE OF THEM EACH CHAPTER :D One of my better early ideas.
♥ Take your time, it'll be here forever. Don't let the cliffhangers eat you up :3 Report Review
Oliver Wood might possibly be the most charmingly attractive git in the entire universe. Except he's not really a git - he just seems like one. Sort of. But not really. I'm not sure why I can't seem to make up my mind, but all I know is that if I were Rona, I wouldn't have had half of the resolve that she does.
Actually, I wouldn't have had any at all. I would've just thrown myself at him and been like "TAKE ME, I'M YOURS!"
I'm excited to see what the girls have in store for him, and how he'll figure it out. And when. I'm just...I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED TO READ THIS, OKAY?Author's Response: Oliver Wood: just a guy with Tom Hardy's face and Jesus' abs. Also, I do not believe I have ever seen you with a speck of resolve, but this is why I love you ♥
LOLOL IM EXCITED FOR YOU TOO, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE CRINGY BITS.
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