Reading Reviews for One and Only
  
74 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Birthday Panda Two

12th August 2011:
"There is only her and her entire life is packed into the trunk by her side, a few clothes and books and photographs; replaceable, breakable, unimportant." I don't know how to express my proper flailing over words, but here it is. What I love about Molly is that she's probably that quiet background type of girl, but not a caricature of that. She feels so real I can't place her in a category.

Homg, how you write fleeting moments! I just asdfgh over every one of them. Adorable innocent Lily, if only you knew!

AHH. SOMEONE MAKE A DECISION D: CHOOOSE. CHOOSE EACH OTHER. But I suppose there are 5 more chapters to go. -holds breath-

Author's Response: She is that kind of girl. She's nothing special. It's a bit like she's the personification of what she is in fanfiction in general: overlooked, boring, in the background. That's part of why Victoire doesn't see her as a threat; who'd pick Molly over her? Molly's thinking that too: why does he want me when he's got her? I think, really, she's what every girl feels like at some point in their life.

Fleeting moments are the most important ♥ I wholeheartedly believe that. It's why this and One Day and that Teddy/Rose floating about somewhere work so well, I think. I'm skipping over the boring bits in between and pulling out the parts that are most important in the shape of the characters' relationships.

I WISH THEY JUST WOULD HAVE DONE SO THEN. Their terrible indecisiveness comes from me as a person, I think :P

Thank youuu ♥
xx


 Report Review

Review #27, by Birthday Panda One

12th August 2011:
O_O ASDFGH WHY DIDN'T I READ THIS EARLIER. I like how with one sentence, I give away who I am.

Anyhow, -throws arms up and flails- THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. Something about these sorts of romances, slightly forbidden and unexpected by others, but without the annoyingness of say, R&J. And as soon as you wrote Teddy warming up Molly and then discussing his all-planned-out life and THE HAND. THE ENTWINED HAND.

I am swooning.

Author's Response: GINAAA. You're so obvious ♥ Actually, so is almost everyone :P I love you so much for coming to read this. I don't know whose idea this reviewing business was but I'm very grateful.

I hope to god this isn't annoying. It's a bit...long-winded and convoluted but I'm not sure I could cope with annoying :P

HANDS AND KISSES AND WARMTH-SHARING. It's practically my deluded idea of a perfect romance with a horrible Victoire shadow cast over it. I want me this Teddy.

Thank you, lovelyyy.

xx


 Report Review

Review #28, by vivienne_woodhouse Seven

11th August 2011:
I do hope you'll forgive me for not leaving a review on the previous chapters of this story, but I honestly couldn't bear to stop long enough to leave them! I was too enthralled in the story!

You have an absolutely beautiful style of writing - just gorgeous!

Honestly I think this is my favorite story I've found on this site.

xoxo

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so, so much. One review is always better than none. I'm so glad that you liked it and your last sentence is absolutely the biggest compliment anyone could wish to receive.

Thank you.


 Report Review

Review #29, by Erised One

9th August 2011:
Hi Rach! It's me :D I'm just gonna review this first chapter for now.

Well, there are SO many plus points for this fic! Your description is beautiful and the prose creates a wonderful, dreamy atmosphere. I alsmot felt as if I was imagining the whole thing. The inter-relationships between the characters was subtle, leaving the rest to the reader, which is always a great thing. You've set the grounds extremely well for the rest of the story.

I love love love the sparse amount of dialogue, letting your description and Molly's POV do the talking. It's probably something I can learn from you, haha!

My one criticism is that the kiss (or was it?) between Molly and Teddy was a little confusing - I wasn't actually sure if it had happened. I had to re-read the section once more and I'm still not entirely sure whether I've interpreted it correctly. However, I didn't feel that it interrupted the story too much because you've set out this structure which allows the reader to use their imagination, as mentioned.

I also thought that you raised a good point about how Teddy feels as if his life is planned out for him because he's an orphan - I'd never looked at it like that before. Excellent characterisation!

Overall Rach, this is a very beautiful start. Feel free to re-request the next few chapters :wub:

xxx

Author's Response: OH LOOK. IT'S JENNY ♥

Thank you, my lovelyyy. This chapter's been edited within an inch of its life and we know how much I hate editing. I even got rid of that radiator line after you LAUGHED AT IT many moons ago :P

The idea that someone who's reading it feels like they're imagining it fits perfectly with what I wanted. Other people have said it's quite fairy-tale like and that's basically the feel I wanted from it. I don't want to bog anyone down with details that they don't need when their imaginations can do the work for them. We'll pretend it's that, anyway, and not just my laziness ;)

This is because I'm hopeless at dialogue :P I think any more would probably detract from the tension. I very much wanted this to be something of a simple read, yet with something more complicated underlying it.

Okey dokey. I have edited this so much that parts probably don't make sense so I'll fix that up soon to make it more clear :D Probably in a minute, actually. Or after a biscuit break.

I think that was one of the only ways I could maintain the Teddy/Victoire relationship for as long as I had to. If I made Teddy feel like he owes his surrogate family, it would make things even harder for them. Of course, as things go on you'll see that he should really have just bitten the bullet and told the truth here but where's the story in that? :P

Thank you so much, darliiing. I will pop in again soon.


xx


 Report Review

Review #30, by lia_2390 Seven

14th July 2011:
Ok, the last chapter. I couldn't just leave it off after reviewing most of the story and I knew I'd feel bad if I didn't give you this last one.

Then they spent years sinking slowly and painfully into their holes of self-destruction, allowing the guilt to gnaw at them by keeping up this charade! There was nothing about this that had to be so complicated...at all!

I find it funny when she told Valerie 'That's up to him.' Again, how I wish I could slap her.

This chapter was the best out of the lot, I think. I continue to be in awe at the use of language you present in your stories and this one, obviously, is no exception. I really liked the metaphor (? - sorry, I speak mostly science now and it doesn't use figurative devices :P) with the clock.

I'm glad you showed us Victoire's side of this twisted tale, how she admitted she was unhappy as well. I think I mentioned in an earlier review that there's always some part of it all that we don't see. I'm glad that she was the one who came to Molly in the end and they had a conversation of sorts where looks spoke much more than the words did, even though the latter was the catalyst.

'He loves you. You love him. Is it that difficult?' - It really shouldn't be but in reality it is. Shame, really.

After 6 and a half chapters of angst and unfinished business, they finally got their happy ending. It really was a nice ending and I really like that when they talk to each other, they say so little but it means so much.

I'm really glad I got this story for the exchange. Not only did I enjoy it but it really made me think.

Lia

Author's Response: Hi lovely!

Nothing at all! I did wonder sometimes whether my choice of making this 7 chapters - as implied in the summary - was drawing it out a bit but hopefully it was pretty successful :P

Oh really? I still have a very firm attachment to the 2nd and 5th chapters and would probably say they're the best. This one gave me a lot of trouble and I was just glad to get something that I could post and that would give me a solid ending. I will chase up that metaphor as soon as HPFF starts behaving itself for me again because I can't remember it :P

I think getting Victoire in was always going to be the most important thing in the believability of this. I didn't want her to just be the meek one who stuck by him even though he didn't love her. I wanted to give her a story too.

She proposed and she stayed with him but it was out of her own pride and selfishness that she did it. She had her own affairs, less serious than Teddy's because they were just flings, testing the water. I think she loved him and eventually she saw what Molly, Teddy, Lucy and the others had seen for ages: he wasn't happy and so she wasn't happy and she knew that it was really up to her. She had to give her blessing for this to work and she could sit through the endless arguments and the fighting but at the end of the day, it wasn't going to make it any better.

That is one of my favourite lines. I kept trying to get it in earlier but it just wouldn't work and I finally found the character that needed to say it. I would love to give Victoire her own one-shot but I won't overdo it :P I'm kind of intrigued by what her thought process was after she found out about Teddy and Molly and when he went back to her. She's an interesting character too.

They did and I was so tempted to make it ambiguous or leave it hanging but I didn't want to feel that I had to write a sequel about it in a month or two's time, to satisfy my own imagination. They got their rather cheesy ending and now I can explore the other characters.

Thank you so, so much, lovely. You really did not have to review all the chapters but they have been a joy to read. They've made me think and sit down and analyse my own writing and characters. I simply love when a review makes me do that and seven of them...well, I'm lucky.

Thank you, again.


xx


 Report Review

Review #31, by lia_2390 Six

14th July 2011:
I honestly have to agree with Lucy, she (Molly) did bring this all upon herself. The thing is, in the early days, he asked her. He said 'just say the word and we can run away together' or something but she didn't want to be selfish, she didn't want to break her cousin's heart or disappoint her family. Then, it's his fault too for being with someone he didn't like all that much.

Lucy has to be my favourite character in this story as she continues to amaze me with the mass of knowledge she's gained from simply being observant. She reminds me of myself in that regard. That scene with her and Molly in the bar made me smile because there's just that one person who knows more about it that you'd care to think.

While I get why Molly tried to be defensive of her plight, it made me wonder how well Molly really knew her sister. Lucy, the all-knowing sage, may have had some secrets of her own. She strikes me as a sort of person who knows how to keep things hidden.

'...and for the first time in years, her stare is focused only on Molly.' - Loved this. I thought about why she never looked at her before then now, she does. To me, it's way more serious than before.

Molly's visit to Teddy was quite interesting and it was something I wanted to read slowly just to take it all in. It's not like before, with the shyness followed by tension then the inability to hold it in any longer. They're just two people who are tired - Teddy, mostly. The mere sight of her was equivalent to rubbing some salt in his wounds and whenever she leaves, he goes back to Victoire to lick them (the wounds). Makes me wonder if he has this fear of being alone - he can't be with the one he wants so he settles for someone else just to fill the void.

Lovely chapter, as usual. I'm sorry this one came so late.

Lia

Author's Response: She did, she did but you have to apportion a bit of the blame to Teddy. Perhaps if he'd had the strength to split up with Victoire earlier, to prevent her from having to make what really is a horrible choice - her family or her lover - he really could have convinced her. As it was, he was too afraid of being alone. She was too scared of what it might mean and here they are.

She's absolutely my favourite. As I said in my reply on the spin-off, she's not someone I imagined people to be able to understand. On an emotional level - especially in this story - she's quite detatched, far more so than her sister.

She is exactly that kind of person, and that's what Learning from Love will explore. She's not quite as cold and unaware of love as Molly seems to think she is. Molly's quite an openly emotional person. Lucy's not; she keeps it private. She's not one to blurt it out to her friends, and even her telling her close family would be a strain.

I think this is both of them growing up. Molly's realised she has to stop running away but also that she's barely seen her family. Lucy's been at school and she's been out of the country and suddenly her baby sister's an adult with a job, almost out of her adolescence. It's a shock for her. This is also around the time that Lucy has lost that teenage arrogance and is probably beginning to understand, somewhat, what her sister's been through, even if she doesn't relate to it.

It's a bit of a pace change for them. They're not used to this awkwardness that's come from her absence. He's not sure what she's there for, and I don't think she is either. They are tired - that's a brilliant point. He's definitely got a thing about being alone and I think that probably stems back to his upbringing. I'm not sure what he'd do if he didn't have Victoire as this constant fallback.

Thank you so much, lovely, and I'm sorry this reply took so long. It really deserved far more urgent attention. I just needed to get into the right mindset for it :)


xx


 Report Review

Review #32, by lia_2390 Five

30th June 2011:
Most stories that I've read which feature Teddy and Victoire describe them as this perfect couple but your story here has turned that notion completely on its head. There, obviously a lot of dysfunction that we as readers don't see, for Teddy tends to drift in Molly's direction.

One thing that stuck out to me in the last chapter is that she didn't ask him what happened that he was drunk and in tears. Yes, she didn't want to ruin the flow of what could've happened but seriously? What's also interesting is that it's the girls who are in tears and vulnerable and eventually find themselves in those sorts of situations. (Well, in what I've read anyway). Not one of her finer moments but I suppose it was a catalyst of sorts. Sorry I didn't mention this in the last review, I only thought about it when I read this chapter.

Now they've pretty much jumped in to the middle of the pool and the forbidden nature of the entire situation hasn't at all lost its appeal. The thing is...people always find out, as they learnt later. It was a bit funny how he walked in with the words dying on his lips while several expletives probably rolled through his mind.

I really felt bad for Victoire because she genuinely didn't know. I knew they found it a bit funny that she was so naive but really, no one wants to think that these sorts of things would happen to them. I was a bit disappointed too that she really didn't have a clue. I agree with her though, Molly was a bit of a coward. At least it's all in the open now.

She knows he made the right decision. She just isn't sure who it was right for. - I like this line. It makes me get all philosophical...who determines what's the right thing in any situation? As it turns out, his decision (Yeah, I read the other chapters before I reviewed this one) wasn't right for either of them.


- Lia

Author's Response: I definitely agree with you on that. I didn't want this to make Molly into the bad girl for being the third wheel. I think quite often the sympathy comes for the girl (or guy) who is cheated on rather than the one who cheats and sometimes, just sometimes, there is justifiable reason to support the other party. Whilst Molly isn't entirely blameless, I think much of it falls on Teddy in the course of his story. If he was stronger, if he just finished it, it would all work out much quicker.

That's a really good point and I'm glad you raised it. I think that's a turning point in Molly's character. Where before, she would probably not have taken advantage of him in the way she did, now she's getting to a point where she recognises what she's feeling. She knows that she could be in love with him and there's this emptiness and loneliness and horrible lust towards him. She completely takes advantage here of a drunk, upset, almost manic Teddy and for me, it balances the two out as...well, not very nice people!

Absolutely! I could hear Teddy's brain whirring as I wrote it and reread it. It's a very vivid moment for me, when he walks in on them. Where Molly didn't lose her cool at Victoire's apperance in the previous chapter, Teddy absolutely does here. She's a far better liar, ultimately!

She didn't and she is terribly naive (I know someone just like her, in that respect). I'm really not sure that she's too observant or even that she'd contemplate her cousin being the one that he seeks solace and company in. Perhaps she had concerns about there being another woman but I'm not sure she'd ever have considered it to be Molly. That's the main shock.

I like that line too. It came very naturally to finish off the chapter and it always makes me think. Again, he made the right decision in terms of what he is supposed to do but completely the wrong decision for all three of them now that they're embroiled in this situation.

Thank you so, so much for five such wonderful reviews. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story, lovely. It really means the world.


xx


 Report Review

Review #33, by lia_2390 Four

30th June 2011:
Hiya Rachel. This isn't going to be one of my usual essays so don't worry :)

Wow, this is darker than I expected it to be. And Molly, I suppose, realises how futile things have become. But I just want to slap her sometimes! Why is it that women turn into fools when it comes to a man? Why?

And Teddy, all broken and bruised. I think Molly and I had the same reaction.

When Victoire came in, Molly was so calm, my goodness. This is quite the character you have here. Most people would've been all thumbs. The end was the most thought provoking for me though. It makes me wonder if she regrets that night in the garden and if she would've preferred to just roll over and go back to sleep but then the outcome might of been the same. Kind of like that Doctor Who episode...'Turn Left', you remember?

This was another lovely chapter, I don't have much else to say about it :) But seriously.they need to stop torturing themselves and just get together already! Gosh!

Lia

Author's Response: I just finished replying to this one before when my computer decided its battery had run out and shut down before I could copy it >.> Very, very annoying!

Anyway, this does have a bit of a dark end to it. I was really tempted to take it on a downwards, gloomy spiral but I've already written a psycho Molly and didn't much fancy it again. I might make Lucy go a bit nuts if I ever write a spin-off, though :P

Teddy ♥ Bless him.

Molly is far, far calmer than I'd be in that situation, though I think she's really desiring to know why Victoire seems so upset and this is the first point where she realises that she never asked Teddy why he was so upse the night before.

That's such an interesting point. I'd never thought about what would have happened if she had not gone to that party or said no to him. As you said, very thought provoking. I'll ponder that myself, I think. I'd like to hope that it would eventually have come out - perhaps in an easier way than it eventually does in this version. Maybe he'd have chucked Victoire or never got together with her at all. Who knows?

Gosh, tell me about it :P Well, 3 more chapters to go so it'll either be really good news or really bad by the end!

Thank you so much, yet again, lovely. These reviews are far too good!


xx


 Report Review

Review #34, by lia_2390 Three

29th June 2011:
There is something about the first few paragraphs that I've always loved seeing an author bring to life. The ugly side of relationships and that confusing concept known as love. It's clear that she's struggling with this because all she had was a taste but not the full experience and quite frankly, it can be really frustrating. So now, she's trying to move on but her mind really isn't in it. Now with Alistair, we see a glimmer of hope...maybe she could let go and move on to a place where every other thought doesn't cause a dull ache in the middle of your chest.

The older girl - a woman by law but not by mind - watches her cautiously and when the conversation she is nodding and smiling through lulls... - This sounds strange to me, perhaps a word is missing?

I just have to say...I love Lucy. Just because she sees and knows a lot of things...too many things and she is clever. Ah, she's a pubescent sage. Her advice is true and to the casual observer, it would make sense to follow it but emotions are funny things - they make fools of the most sensible girls.

You've painted Teddy and Victoire in a light that makes them almost fairytale-like to everyone else. Indeed, that's how a lot of people see them in fanfiction and in an earlier chapter, Teddy even says it's like their families planned their relationship since birth. But to the rest of us who can see, it's not like that at all. It makes me wonder if Victoire can tell that Teddy isn't really there. Maybe she isn't as oblivious as people think, especially Molly.

Exactly how many boyfriends has she had since Ben? Just the three?

I'm sorry if all my reviews thus far have been lengthy and full of my rambling. I love stories like these where I'm free to pick apart characters and discuss their traits.

I'm really enjoying this story, Rachel!

Lia

Author's Response: You've pretty much hit that straight on the head. She wants so much to forget Teddy - for him, for Victoire, for herself too - but for me, every time she looks at Alistair, she feels like she's forcing herself into it.

It's just badly phrased :P I'll have a play with it and see if I can fix it up.

I love her too. I'm dying to write her in something else (probably a Lucy/Scorpius but perhaps Lucy/OC), set after this story, but writer's block is, as ever, proving itself to be a royal pain in the neck. I'm not sure Lucy is the nicest person in the world - though she has her moments - and I think in chapter 6, you see a better summary of the two girls.

They certainly are fairytale-like. It's a bit of a twisted fairytale, really, but I wanted the pair of them to seem quite elevated and mystical, kind of put on a pedestal by the rest of the family as a benchmark for the others.

I wanted to bring Victoire off as a bit naive and blind. It comes across in the first chapter - Victoire oblivious to Teddy and Molly hanging around at the back of the group - and definitely in this one and chapter 4. I don't think she expects it and so she doesn't look for it. She's admirable in the sense that she's not very paranoid or suspicious of anyone. She's really rather innocent.

Errr -goes and checks- I think it's 6 but don't hold me to it. Ben, Castor, Flynn, Sam, two unidentifieds and Alistair. Honestly, not sure :P

Lengthy and rambling are fine! I love watching people picking apart the story and putting their own interpretation into it. I think that means I'm doing my job properly.

Thank you so much!

xx


 Report Review

Review #35, by lia_2390 Two

23rd June 2011:
Hi again, Rachel :)

I really liked your opening paragraph, it just spills everything that she's feeling into those lines and it's something that many people can relate to. A chapter of your life is closing or has closed and you're not quite sure what to do about the other one that's about to open. It's kind of weird that it summed up the prompt Len gave me for my own Molly story.

It is not her he is calling. It is not her that is swept off her feet. - This is just swimming in an underlying sense of something inside her, isn't it? Is she a tad bit jealous or is she just lamenting about something that's so close but still so far away?

It seems like she can never get away from all that's Teddy and Teddy + Victoire. The universe, apparently in the form of a 10 year old girl, has a way of really rubbing your nose in the most unpleasant of things. I have to give Molly some credit for not saying a word.

There is so much tension and awkwardness between Molly and Teddy. I swear, I'm so surprised they didn't leap into each other's arms right then and there. Of course, their levels of self-control don't last long at all, though her resistance takes a while to crumble.

I'm almost in a puddle here at Teddy's ever so subtle gesture. You see what you've done to me? Do you?

Molly is trying her best to be sensible but the more she fights it, the more agonising it is. She's trying to say the right things like she's supposed to but all the while, resisting the urge to say something else. And Teddy, clearly doesn't want to make an effort to try with Victoire...try whatever it is they have. It makes me wonder what the point was. I'm not sure if I brought this up in the first review. What's the point of faking something just to make everyone else happy and you're just miserable? Now he's willing to drop it all and as you've put it, let them start their own dream. If only it were that easy, right?

This was just lovely. I can't even comment on the kiss because I'd no longer be typing coherent sentences.

Fantastic job, my dear :)

Lia

Author's Response: I like the opening of this one too. I really wanted a significant moment for her and one that people can relate to, as you said. It's a very strange, emotional time and I think I wanted an instability to Molly for this second snapshot of their relationship.

I think it's a bit of both. Perhaps a sudden realisation that she's not over whatever it is she feels for him, a reminder that he's not hers. It's a lot of things rolled into one for her.

I don't think it's in Molly's character to say anything. At least, not yet. One of the key parts of her character is the long fuse she has. She doesn't really lose her temper, she doesn't snap or shout; I think for an 18-year-old girl, she's quite mature, and to say something snide to a 10-year-old cousin would be out of character for her.

Tension and awkwardness is good. That's exactly what I want from their relationship in these early stages, anyway.

Teddy ♥ He's not even that nice a person but I love him. I think they're both quite weak, in their own ways. Molly tries to resist and even though she does push him away, I think it's mostly her feeling that she'd be ostracised from her family if she let something happen that stops her from doing so. Teddy, I think, needs someone and as Molly won't have him yet, he makes do with what he's already got. I don't think he loves Victoire but she's someone for him and that's enough for him.

Thank you so much, lovely!

xx


 Report Review

Review #36, by onestop_hpfan18 Three

21st June 2011:
Rachel! Back to review the third chapter. I thought it flowed well and I like how you've balanced between showing Molly's relationship with her new boyfriend, Alistair, and Teddy toward the end of the chapter. You did a good job really showing how Molly felt about both guys and the confusion she felt toward the end when she was sitting next to Teddy because she loves him, but at the same time she knows that he's out of bounds. Over all, great, strong start to this story so far. (: 10/10

Author's Response: Leslie ♥

I'm really glad that you said those two are balanced. I was worried that there wasn't enough focus on her and Teddy in this chapter so I'm really happy that it seems to have paid off.

Thank you for the review!

xx


 Report Review

Review #37, by Blue Flame One

21st June 2011:
Heya! From the forums here with a very late review! Sorry!

I honestly really liked it. ^_^ Especially the pairing of Molly II & Teddy, since I've never seen it before! It is a bit clunky at the beginning, so maybe split up a paragraph or two? And a tad incoherent in that it's confusing to know who's the main focus to start off with? Hopefully that makes sense, if not poke me on the forums and I'll explain that more!

Characterization wise, I think you did it brilliantly. Teddy is very realistic to me, and the words between Molly & Teddy clearly show the sort of relationship they have. You really did a lovely job of captivating readers with the first chapter, as I definitely will be reading on!

10/10^^
-Caiti

Author's Response: Hey! It's no problem :P I'm the world's worst with keeping up with review threads.

Thank you so much. I completely get what you're saying with the start. I have fixed it up but maybe it needs a little more work. The style shifted about halfway through that chapter so it's caused me huge problems.

I'm so glad that Teddy is realistic. I do get a little concerned about how these characters come across, especially who people think is the most at fault in their pairing, so thanks for bringing that up.

I'm really glad that you liked it. Thank you so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #38, by onestop_hpfan18 Two

21st June 2011:
I really am enjoying how you have written Teddy as the one to pursue Molly, yet Molly is the one to pull the plug by saying there can't be anything between them while he belongs to Victoire. It's very angst-driven, but I like a good angst read. Anyway, I thought this chapter flowed well and the character development is growing more as the plot expands; great job.

Author's Response: I definitely didn't want Molly to come off as a seductress from the beginning. Once the relationship is established as being more genuine than it is at the start, she definitely takes more of an active role in instigating things but for the minute, she's very sensible and knows that it's wrong and that she has to stop it.

Angst ♥ Love it :P

Thank you so much, Leslie!

xx


 Report Review

Review #39, by onestop_hpfan18 One

21st June 2011:
Hiya Rachel, I'm here to review as long-ago requested. Sorry for the delay, things got a bit crazy there for a moment. But I made it eventually, as I usually do. (:

I like this first chapter, you've done a good job really painting the picture as to where the relationship between Teddy and Molly stands and of how anything that happens between them should not be taking place at all because they are both already spoken for. Yet, they still yearn for each other. Already the characters have depth that will carry the plot through to the end in the beginning. Over all, it flowed nicely and I'm looking forward to reading the next two chapters as well to see what else holds these two apart.

Author's Response: Leslieee -squishes-
I absolutely know how you feel. I still owe reviews from about 4 months ago (Sorry, Ty. Sorry, Sarah) so I really can't say anything!

I'm so glad you pointed out that part of their relationship because the forbidden aspect is very much the crux of the story, really. He's Victoire's (or rather, he thinks he ought to be) and Molly has to live with the expectations of her family so their relationship really plays on that.

Thank you so much for the review, Leslie!

xx


 Report Review

Review #40, by lia_2390 One

20th June 2011:
Rachel, oh my gosh. Why have I not read this before?

I'm commenting on things as I read so please, bear with me. I've only just read the first chapter and already I want to curl up in a ball and die. This is beautiful. The imagery you provide is gorgeous and your use of present tense makes it more so. It gives the story a wistful feel, if that makes sense.

"It would be food for gossip, this talk of the boy and the girl who is not supposed to be his." - I really like this line, forbidden yet almost appealing and perhaps harsh, making attempts to create boundaries in the eyes of everyone else but of the pair in question, both of them are too willing to cross those lines.

This sentence confuses me a bit: "They speak of nothing. Together, they are old. They have a century between them..." From how you ended the last paragraph, it made me think that the 'they' in question referred to the two cousins Molly was squished between. When I read the chapter again, I realised that you meant all of them.

"Or maybe it is because he is Teddy Lupin and if she didnít find him perfect, then she would not be a true Weasley." - This made me laugh out loud. Quite clever.

I love how honest Teddy feels he can be with Molly and I wonder if it's because she's the girl he prefers over the one that everyone seems to like. How he answered that question makes me wonder why he's going through with his relationship with Victoire in the first place.

And she kissed him, or rather, he kissed her. Then the rain fell. Oh dear. My inner romantic was pretty much swooning by then.

The irony of it all was when Molly thought at the end that everything would be as it should. But it most definitely will not end there. Not after what happened between them.

I really, really liked this and I'm onto reading chapter two.

Lia.

Author's Response: Oh gosh, Lia. I don't really even know how to begin to reply to these gorgeous reviews. I appreciate everything you've said so much and each one makes me grin like some kind of lunatic each time I come and read them.

I love that line myself. I think it sums up the message in the story itself really well and even now, I can twist it in so many ways to reflect elements of the story.

Thank you for pointing that out. I've edited it so it makes it more clear. I hadn't even thought of it being misconstrued like that!

I think that's exactly it. The reasoning behind his relationship with Victoire is more deeply explored in chapter 2 (and the later ones too) but it's really all about expectations vs reality.

I can't even remember putting rain in there! Gosh, how cliché! The ending of this chapter is really important, I think. She's very sure that that night will eventually be forgotten by both of them, she'll accept his relationship with Victoire and life will be good. But that wouldn't make a decent story, would it? :P

Thank you so much for the stunning review, Lia. I can't thank you enough. Honestly.

xx


 Report Review

Review #41, by Violet Gryfindor Seven

18th June 2011:
A perfect ending to a perfect story. There's not really much else to say.

Well, there is one thing, actually. Thank you for making Victoire such a great character in this chapter. In non-Teddoire stories, she tends to become unpleasant, but now you've made her something much, much better, and I'm kind of wondering why Teddy would prefer Molly to her. :P But then again, Teddy and Molly are very much alike, very well-suited to one another in every way, whereas Victoire was too much of a perfectionist, and I'll say it, too good for Teddy. I like the bits about soul mates because they really drove home the connection Molly and Teddy have - it's indescribable and inexplicable, but it's there and can't be denied.

Wow. This was quite a story, and I'm really glad that I was able to read it because it was amazing to read - so engrossing and powerful, yet with a happy ending. I hope you're proud of this story, and if you're able to send some of your talent my way, please do. ^_^

Author's Response: I so wanted to give it an unhappy ending but I just couldn't force myself to do it. I'd started writing with the aim of a happy ending and when I got there, despite my head telling me to be brutal - perhaps even be realistic - and keep them apart, I couldn't!

Wow, thank you. I didn't want her to come across completely innocently. She does keep them apart for a while - I think at the end of chapter five, she could have ended it but she knew that Molly wanted him and so she couldn't let him go - but ultimately, she started as naive and oblivious and completely redeemed herself for keeping them apart.

Ooh, I don't know. I think in another world, perhaps one where chapter one never happened, Teddy and Victoire could have worked but it was always Molly, for him. I think you're right and she was too good for him, although she was never completely innocent herself.

Thank you so, so, so much. I think it's one of the few stories that I am proud of and I'm so glad that you liked it. You absolutely do not need even a fraction of my ability when you've got your own ridiculously wonderful imagination. I'd happily swap you, any day!

Thank you, Susan, for completely making my year and making me want to write again.


 Report Review

Review #42, by Violet Gryfindor Six

18th June 2011:
Oh, that ending! It was so perfect! I teared up reading those last few paragraphs, they were just the way they should be. Yes, I should probably still be screaming at Molly to just stop it already, but in this case, I think she's grown up - she's different in this chapter, more assured, just on the cusp of making that choice that will change everything for her.

I really like how you've portrayed the next-generation, not only in this story, but more specifically in this chapter - how you've shown them maturing and experiencing life. It's far more realistic than other next-gen stories I've read in that it's grittier, more true to life in the details. I don't know how else to describe it, but there's something very different about this story, and I like the story very much because of this difference.

So there's only one more chapter, and I really want to see what choice Molly will ultimately make and how she'll do it. This is a fantastic story, Rachel, and I continue to be astounded by the writing in every chapter, it's so beautiful to read. ^_^

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the end of this chapter. I hadn't intended it to happen but then it did and I just so wanted them to have their little moment of happiness. She has grown up a lot. She's been changing between chapters, really, but this is a big leap.

Thank you. I must admit, I like the gritty. I like the real. I'm not one for fluff - as much as I love to read it - and I can't see why they should be any different to the rest of us. I think the minimal amount of magic I tend to use helps that :P I kind of forget they're witches and wizards sometimes.

Thank you so much, Susan. I'm still sorry it's taken me so long to respond but it's been really hard to find words to match yours.


 Report Review

Review #43, by mrsteddylupin Seven

17th June 2011:
Wow! That was really incredible! I loved all your play with shadow and dream vs. reality. it was mesmerizing to read. Great story!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. It means so much that you spent the time to read it and review!

 Report Review

Review #44, by Violet Gryfindor Five

17th June 2011:
Another brilliantly emotional chapter! I cringed when Victoire and, later, Teddy entered the room, then couldn't breathe as Victoire took her time in figuring things out, then cheered for Molly's sudden show of strength before wanting to scream at her for being so selfishly unselfish. You really know how you torture your readers with this story. It's so volatile and dramatic, with emotions that are so powerfully deep and passionate that they can't help but affect one.

The dialogue, the descriptions, they were all spot-on. If I thought that the last chapter was amazing, this one is even more amazing. Absolute perfection. If the next two are better, I don't know what will happen to me - I might explode or something. :P Brilliant work!

Author's Response: I think once Victoire walked in, that was the moment that it was all to change. Comparing Teddy's reaction when he sees Victoire to that of Molly in the previous chapter really sets apart their differences as people, I think.

Molly is so strong in this chapter, it still kind of stuns me. Chapter Four is a real turning point for her. Suddenly, she's putting herself ahead of her cousin and her family but she still cannot bring herself to hurt them completely.

Thank you so much...I just ... words have suddenly forgotten how they go together and make sense :P


 Report Review

Review #45, by Violet Gryfindor Four

17th June 2011:
Oh gosh, Rachel. How could you do this? It's brilliant, but it's so painful to read with all this emotion, powerful and draining and heart-wrenching. It's perfectly written (I think there was only an "envelope" instead of "envelop" that I noticed), leading the reader on, but always with the knowledge that something's not entirely right about what happens, there's a sense of wrongness that permeates, and Molly knows it, but she takes what's given to her, and who can blame her?

As soon as Victoire appeared, I knew how it would be, but I loved how you portrayed Molly's emotions at that part best. She's amazingly sympathetic and real. The details of this story are incredibly realistic, even frighteningly so - you're not afraid to show the dirt and grime of these characters' lives, and that's what makes this story even better, what helps to set it apart. I feel like I'm there while reading it - everything's very vivid for all the senses.

While reading this I was like "OMG" over and over again. You're an amazing writer, and this is an amazing story. ^_^

Author's Response: -cue evil laugh-
I wish I could have resolved this earlier but my summary dictates six moments (seven? I forget) and so I had to stick with it. It was so hard to wrench them apart from each other over and over again.

Quite right -edits- :P Thank you!

I'm so glad you used the 'r' word for her. Lia pointed out that Molly was very calm, which I think she was, compared at least to later chapters, but there's that line 'Do you regret it?' (I think) which adds this slightly edgier side to her. Perhaps if Victoire had been definitive, it would have all come out. I don't know. I like to think of that question as a point where things could have changed.

Wow. Honestly, words can't even express how grateful I am for you saying that and giving such lovely words of encouragement and appreciation and everything! Thank you so much (I'm far less eloquent when it comes to review responses than I am when writing)!


 Report Review

Review #46, by Violet Gryfindor Three

14th June 2011:
But why is it her fault? Why does she keep blaming herself? Oh Molly, just nab him already!

Haha, you've made me feel quite a bit about these characters and it's absolutely wonderful. Even though I fear that they're only growing further and further apart, you still show how perfect they are, perhaps so perfect that their relationship can never be. No one else thinks they're perfect, and therefore their relationship can't happen - that's an extraordinary way of writing a romance, but it's amazing how much other people with their perceptions can get in the way. You encapsulated it all with Lucy's observation that people don't notice enough - they don't notice Teddy and Molly's act nor their inability to resist one another, and that's tragic. Immensely powerful, too.

Another brilliant chapter! Your portrayal of relationships and people in general is fantastic, and they make this a very intense story to read - it's engrossing, sucking in the reader until their nose is against the screen. I'm loving this story very much and look forward to catching up with the rest. ^_^

Author's Response: She's far too good, isn't she? Or, you know, enormously selfish. Depends on your view on life :P

I'm so glad you can feel something for them. When I can see frustration in reviewers' words, I know I'm doing the job properly. They are stepping apart at this point. The gap between chapters two and three is probably the most pronounced; it's the point where they distance themselves from one another, Molly decides she needs to move on and so they end up at opposite ends of the same track, really. Walking and walking away from one another but knowing that at some point they'll have to meet again.

'Nobody else thinks they're perfect' - absolutely that. Nobody else - aside from Lucy - sees it. They see their perfect Teddy and Victoire, and Molly steamrolling through guy after guy - as girls her age can do, I guess - and they don't see far enough into it. Lucy's point sums it up really well, I think, and I love her character to pieces.

Thank you so much. You're showering me with so many completely insane, amazing compliments that I just don't deserve but they do mean the world!


 Report Review

Review #47, by Violet Gryfindor Two

13th June 2011:
This review would be better conveyed via pictures because I'm really kind of speechless at the moment. The emotion in this story is fantastic, and I love your portrayal of both characters because they're so human. I almost want to strangle Molly for being so self-effacing - she's bought into the fairy tale of Teddy and Victoire even when he's practically throwing himself at her. ARG! But that's what makes her a well-crafted character and what will make for a more emotionally traumatic story. :P It's the best kind of story in my opinion. ^_^

Again, I love your imagery - that scene where Victoire walks out of the train's steam was so vividly described that I could actually see it before me, very much like it was from an old movie, probably because you mentioned that Molly saw it in black and white. What's interesting, though, is that Victoire's appearance isn't much to write home about - she has presence, but she's not glamorous, which sets your portrayal apart. It's probably the Veela blood that makes Victoire so striking.

The Teddy/Molly scenes were indescribably amazing. If I tried to express what I feel about them, I'd slip into babbling squees, so just know that they were fantastic. They compliment one another, seemingly able to understand one another in that perfect-couple way that's always fascinating to read about. But where will it go? What will happen? I love how the story is suspenseful in this way - the "falling in love" part is already established, even before the story begins to a degree, making the "now what" question far more urgent. It's just another reason why this story is so wonderfully unique. ^_^

Author's Response: She absolutely has. She wants to keep the prince and princess happy and she's content (somewhat) to sit there and play the-girl-it-should-have-been. Emotionally traumatic? I liiike.

I'm really glad that you saw that like an old movie scene because I do, every single time. It's such a short moment, really, but it was very clear in my mind and I wanted Victoire to sort of be elevated by it. With her appearance, I agree completely. She is what she is, which is obviously very pretty, given her parentage but not one to flaunt it much. I think in chapter one, there was a line about Victoire's beauty and how everyone looked on her, not quite enviously - perhaps wistfully, I don't know. There's definitely a feeling amongst the cousins - Molly included - that she's the one to beat (though if you imagine Molly as Keira Knightley from the banner, the competition's going to be tough).

I must admit, this chapter is far and away my favourite in terms of the quality of the Teddy/Molly. It was writing this one when I knew I had to finish this story because I just couldn't bear it for myself if I didn't. They are almost perfectly halves of the same whole and it is most definitely the 'now what' that is going to lead the story on. I hope nobody doubts their falling in love!

Thank you so, so much, Susan!


 Report Review

Review #48, by marinahill Seven

12th June 2011:
Okay, I wanted to leave you a proper review but I am too shocked/annoyed/angry that Jane beat me to reviewing. WHEN DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN???

Anyway. You know how I feel about this story. At the beginning, I was rooting for angst and an unhappy ending. Now that we're here, I don't think I could BEAR for any more angst because I love them both too much and they deserve happiness after all that waiting around and on and off and silly Victoire (only not so silly after all). Basically, SQUEE Teddy/Molly, SQUEE for this fic and SQUEE for you, because you've done it again and TOTALLY made me fall in love with you/your writing all over again. Fabulous and BRILLIANT and I cannot wait for your next masterpiece.

Be proud, dear. ♥

Author's Response: Hahaha, I DON'T KNOW! It's MADNESS but I love you both anyway.

Seee? I would have loved for this to have had an angsty ending but I just couldn't make myself do it. I needed a happy Molly/Teddy in my collection and I really couldn't keep two people so right for each other apart for much longer. Not without killing one of them off, anyway.

SQUEE for you too. You might be waiting a long time for something else, my lovely, but thank you to the end of the world and back again.


xx


 Report Review

Review #49, by Eridanus Seven

12th June 2011:
I AM SO HAPPY.

THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO SAY.

Author's Response: I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU.

 Report Review

Review #50, by Eridanus Six

4th June 2011:
AH. I'M ADDICTED.

I HAVE SPENT THIS WHOLE TIME READING AND ALMOST SCREAMING 'THEY BETTER NOT GET MARRIED'. I GENUINELY THINK I WOULD HAVE SUFFERED HEART FAILURE.

THE SHIP. YOUR DESCRIPTIONS. YOUR PROSE. DIFPUOKJASDHFIKUASDLFDSIGLDSA. IT'S AMAZING AND I LOVE ALL OF THE TWISTS AND TURNS. (but angry Lucy is PROPERLY scary).

PLEASE POST ME THE NEXT CHAPTER. PLEASE.


Author's Response: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU CAPS ADDICTED LOON.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE, WON'T YOU? I've just got a couple of edits to run through and then I'll throw the last chapter up. JUST FOR YOU.

SHUT UUUPPP BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE LUCY. I want her to have her own story but...effort.

PATIENCE, DEAR, AND THANK YOU.

xx


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>