Reading Reviews for Starfall
267 Reviews Found

Review #26, by j Mercurial Matters

3rd July 2014:
I'm so sorry Draco is a bad guy, because I like him so much... I'm hoping he is not that much a villain. Loved the confrontation between the brothers. Great chapter!

Author's Response: The full story of Draco Malfoy in this series has not yet come out. All I can assure you of is that he's not actually a really nice guy who's just misunderstood, but HOW bad, HOW villainous? We'll see. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #27, by RelentlessFire Mercurial Matters

3rd July 2014:
Nice chapter, I felt really bad while reading Al's conversation with his brother and Scorpius' with his dad.
Update soon

Author's Response: The Al and James argument was a long time coming; almost didn't make it into the story, so I'm glad I could. Scorpius does another vicious round with his father isn't much new, though. Updates coming all the time! Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #28, by whykay Mercurial Matters

3rd July 2014:
I love Ron. I love Ron. Indeed, breaking into a heavily guarded casino is cool!
And I love Gabe. I love Gabe. I love Gabe. I love Gabe.

I am sad to see the Potter family slowly becoming dysfunctional, but yeah, it would be too good to be true to see Harry and the family unaffected by the war - we can't have new people play the roles now, do we? I like the way James is portrayed and no wonder he is frazzled by all this. I wanted an Albus - Harry and Scorpius - Harry conversation too. :(

Draco - something is off there - something more is going on. Maybe he was there for the business interests.. i.e. Eridanos hits and his company was supposed to produce 'cures' and BHAM - BIG Profits. For a blockbuster drug to work, they have to create chaos. This would explain why Draco wanted Scorpius to get out of Hogwarts ('cuz Draco already had a cure ready for Scorpius!) So maybe now, he is not too keen on the non-money-minting disease anymore and is increasingly eager to in scuttle them now.

And again, *ominous* and *conspicuous* absence of Astoria. And Kenneth (just so I don't forget the names!). Speaking of which, I would have expected Lillian Rourke to be more co-operative - are there any hidden secrets in the Rourke family?

And yes, Lisa of course checked out. I am sure Eva had access to the file. But she will be unearthed.

Author's Response: Ron is the worst parent in the world for disapproving of this kind of stuff. And I just couldn't resist throwing in another Gabe cameo. While I probably could have got something out of a Harry-Scorpius conversation, my fear with showing EVERYONE with their parents was that it would become repetitive. 'We're glad you're alive, we were worried, do you really have to keep risking yourself?' So I only kept the conversations where something Specific came up. I would have loved a Jen cameo, too, but she had nothing specific to add to the scenario.

The Potter family has its problems. It's right now in a tough time, so of course they seem worse, though I'd say they're no worse off than any other family.

When it comes to the Malfoys, though... there is more to say. On Draco, on Astoria (who will make an appearance in Starfall, I promise). You're right that there are lots of questions. Secrets in the Rourke family? Lillian's a bit controlling and doesn't want her daughter to risk her neck. She means well.

Eva's safe, for now. An infiltration which couldn't cover that kind of background check would have been ill-advised. The secret can't remain forever. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #29, by RelentlessFire Back in Black

27th June 2014:
As usual great chapter! Ironically I already knew about the paper instructions inside the golem. I really want to know what happens next, I'm so curious!
Update soon

Author's Response: Golem mythology's an interesting one, and I reckon some Pratchett fans will have known the Words stuff. It was always something I meant to play around with, but with a dragon it seemed like the best time! More chapters coming all the time. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #30, by whimsicaldiva Back in Black

27th June 2014:
What you did was selfish

Ironic she feels that way, given that -

ĎI had to race into that wreckage,í she said before she could stop herself, voice low and throaty, Ďand I didnít know if I was going to find your body in the middle of it.í Again.

Selena's herself being the teensiest bit selfish - not wanting to go through that again. Understandable, but selfish nonetheless. I guess it's safe to say that she feels the closest to Matt and Rose. Whilst she tends to count on Rose offering a shoulder to lean on when Methuselah's memories overwhelm her, she counts on Matt being there for her for - I dunno, general comfort and friendship? Or maybe it's because Selena doesn't exactly share the same level of comfort with the rest Albus and Scorpius.

I think I'm beginning to like the idea of Selena/Matt. The thing about her pairing with Methuselah was that - it was only at the very end that it came into clear focus in Ignite, and of course, the way it ended was devastating, but to be very honest, for the most part, I was more interested in finding out about what happened to Rose/Scorpius. Maybe this was because most of Ignite was from Scorpius's POV, but until the end, Selena/Methuselah seemed to be something that was taking place in the background unlike Matt/Selena, which seems to have been given a more detailed treatment in Starfall and they have a lovely camaraderie that, whether they end up having a Tanith/Gabe type friendship or a Gabe/Jen type relationship, it'll be equally convincing.

The Bahamas, eh? Can't wait to see what happens!

Author's Response: Yep. Selena IS being selfish. I think it's understandable, but I think Matt also has the right of it. If nothing else, what he did is no worse than what Scorpius and others have done before him, again and again, and even Rose doesn't tear a strip off Scorpius like Selena's doing to Matt right now. Rose is her friend, but Matt is becoming her anchor, and also Rose generally has plenty on her plate with Scorpius Being Scorpius.

I enjoy writing Selena and Matt. I'm honestly letting them lead the way on if it'll be a relationship or not - but you're thoroughly right about Selena/Methuselah. They can't have had more than half a dozen scenes which were exclusively them in the whole of Ignite. They were supporting cast and a supporting relationship, and yes, background's a good word for it. While Selena and Matt are considerably more significant players in Starfall, both in terms of action and in terms of their dramatic treatment.

I guess we'll see where it takes them. Next, indeed, the Bahamas! Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #31, by j Back in Black

26th June 2014:
I'm looking forward to read the whole story when it's finished, in one shot. I'll be able to better enjoy the adventure, I think. So far I'm still loving it! I also think I'm the most conservative reader, I'm having problems with 'Lisa's forgiveness'... She is a cold blooded killer, after all. I understand the upbringing in difficult (dreadful) situation - thing, but Al likes to point out how Scor is such a good person, and well... Voldemort also had such a difficult childhood. I kind of like Lisa, that is not the issue. It's just that I like Al more, and he deserves better, so I'm hoping he doesn't fall in love with her - although I do believe you could write it all very tastefully. Matt and Selena have a beautiful friendship, I feel so sorry for them - him, for his insecurities, Selena for the tragedy, but she is getting better. Relieved for the parents.

Author's Response: If there's one thing I'm not thrilled with in Starfall, it's my pacing (and it's hard to undo it now - for instance, Portugal HAD to happen because they HAD to find de Sable, so even if stuff feels long-winded now I'm writing it, I can't really avoid that in some circumstances). I think it will stand up better as a full story than a serialised piece, but it's easily my longest single fiction to date.

Lisa doesn't necessarily deserve forgiveness. If nothing else, she hasn't done much to deserve it yet! It's important to note that Albus thinks she's someone who HAS already turned away from a life of crime and murder - he thinks she went into legitimate work for the government. While right now she has absolutely no intention of turning her back on Thane. Choices do define us; Al is judging her based off choices he thinks she's made already, when she's done no such thing. Albus does deserve better than a killer who's planning on betraying him. Certainly.

Selena is getting better, while in some ways Matt's problems are cementing - and their various issues collide, as we see!

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #32, by whykay Back in Black

24th June 2014:
So, Selena and Matt - the non-relationship is progressing well. I quite like it. I am glad to see that Selena is looking at Matt and Matt is being his own.

Nobody wants to go home! What a surprise. As you say, now we wait for family reunions and more leads..

Author's Response: They have a dynamic and a relationship, whatever form it may take... romantic, platonic, something else? It's a connection, undoubtedly, and it'll progress from there. And yes, this is one area where Matt knows what he's doing and Selena doesn't - for someone so forthright, when it comes to business she can drift right into the background. But for the two of them it's a shift in the dynamic.

And they have come too far to go home. Next chapter, yep - Reunions and Progress. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #33, by whykay The Fall that Kills You

21st June 2014:

I was on that dragon fighting Thane, on the broom luring the dragon, near the dragon's mouth intending to use the sword, my heart was in my mouth when the dragon fell, my heart thudded for Matt after they fell and yes, I felt like crying too when I hugged Scorpius (;-) - I mean Rose and Hermione).

I had to write this review a day after I read the chapter. What can I say, but that its great and that you are outdoing yourself every time. Its hard to sustain the momentum in these weekly updates, for the readers, but you have scored a perfect 10.

Am so glad I came upon your writing!! And am so sorry about your leg. I do hope the bursts of speed greet us!!

Author's Response: Would you believe I had enormous trouble writing the Portugal sequence? I needed the gang to catch up with de Sablé and I needed them to get rediscovered as alive, but other than that I had NO idea, and all my plans felt really perfunctory. Then a friend told me to take it high-octane, so, behold, a flying golem-dragon!

And it worked out okay after all. :D

The leg is okay (well, it's not, but I'm coping!) and I'm getting back into my writing groove. Only the one chapter written this last week but I have a buffer, I'm making plans, and I'm finding my habits to be more productive. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #34, by Hats For House Elves The Fall that Kills You

21st June 2014:
I am loving this story. You've written such a detailed plot and it is fantastic. Usually I think that reviews saying Argh! This is amazing! are pointless so I'll mention that there are the occasional chapters here and there which are lacking in either the same detailed description or are the obvious filler chapters but that's not saying that those arn't really good too. They are. Can't wait to read more.

Keep on writing


Author's Response: I don't mind the argh this is amazing reviews but I LOVE the more detailed ones. I hear you on the filler; Starfall's pacing has been a problem which has been hard to tackle. Transition chapters - for both geography and the emotional arcs - abound. I try to keep them fun but I would probably make quite a few changes in my planning if I had my time again. Alas and alack, and so long as it's still fun I shan't lose too much sleep over it.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #35, by RelentlessFire The Fall that Kills You

21st June 2014:
Wow! You keep amazing me with your incredible writing skills, i would really like to know more about De Sablť and what Matt did to the golem.
I hope your knee will soon get better.

Author's Response: Next chapter will explain Matt and start shedding more light on de Sablé, promise! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #36, by Whimsical Diva The Fall that Kills You

21st June 2014:
This just keeps getting better and better. Starfall didn't exactly start off with a bang, and things were a tad slow until Badenheim, but boy, it does keep getting better and better. Rabbit's Foot, Ager Sanguinis and now this! This is brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I can't imagine how the denouement to this can be even better, but knowing you I'm sure it won't disappoint. So no pressure. ;)

I'm curious why Thane chose to duel with Scorpius when he's hinted to Eva in the past that he has no interest in killing Scorpius. Unless he was secretly protecting Scorpius... knowing Thane, wouldn't put it past him. And was also curious if Thane was really serious about killing Albus, or if he only said that to get a rise out of Scorpius? Knowing Thane's stance on needless cruelty, I'm guessing he won't kill any of the Five, unless it's absolutely necessary. But if he were serious about killing Albus, I wonder how that'll sit with Eva? Speaking of, I wonder what Thane meant when he spoke of 'the hunt'? The hunt for the Chalice? Of course, Eva can still contact him using her mirror, but was he truly surprised that she went for him, or did he just affect it for Eva's bluff to seem more authentic? At this stage, I guess whatever lingering doubts the gang had had originally about Lisa has faded, which will make her betrayal, when and if it does happen, all the more devastating.

I guess finding de Sable's going to be their next aim? And I wonder what role he'll play himself in Starfall? Can't way to know the answers.

Stay on the mend, and update when you can. Cheers!

Author's Response: I do sometimes forget it took about 5 chapters before the plot really went anywhere for Starfall. It had a lot of setup; if there's one thing I'm not happy with in this story, it's the pacing. Still, there's more to go from here, and more action and adventure from here, and... as you say, no pressure. ;)

Thane didn't have much choice but to duel Scorpius. He got on the dragon to stop Matt; Scorpius got in his way. Something had to be done about him one way or another. But was he holding back? Could he have killed him, and chose not to? WAS he going to kill Albus? All good questions.

Lisa's done a good job of cementing her place in the gang from this, but there will be fallout with her and Thane still to come in consequence.

Updates with a lot of the immediate answers forthcoming!

 Report Review

Review #37, by RelentlessFire Wing It

20th June 2014:
Incredible chapter! Absolutely one of the best! I'm surprised by everything that happened till now, but so far what happened in this chapter surprised me the most! I can't wait to know what'll happen next.

Author's Response: This chapter does rather ramp up the drama of the situation. And it'll just continue to rock along from here! Updates forthcoming. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #38, by Whimsical Diva Wing It

17th June 2014:
Whoa! I've only got two words to say:

de Sable!


Um... Update soon?

Author's Response: That's more than two words! :D

 Report Review

Review #39, by whykay Wing It

16th June 2014:
WHOA.. that was awesome!!! Plain awesome. At times like these, I wish I came upon your story a few months later so that I could enjoy it as a whole!!


Author's Response: I'm writing as quick as I can. ;) Hopefully it won't be too long a wait 'til the end. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #40, by whykay Like a Stone

11th June 2014:
Okay - I REALLY didn't expect them to confront Raskoph this early!! I suspect the real villian isn't going to be revealed in this story. Is Thane now in trouble? And Eva? Will she be outed by Raskoph? I don't think she will betray this lot to Raskoph. She may, to Thane, after the all-important (yes, these phrases from the story stick) Thane-Albus-Thane-Albus conflict happens.

And what the hell is the 'flying' 'stone' dragon and rituals? Is this where they split?? I would really imagine Albus with Lisa when they split, else all the build up may go to a waste.

I liked the little bit of the chapter from Matt's point of view and his massive insecurity and feeling left out, not being a part of the Hogwarts 5. And of Rose-Selena's dialogue on morals. Rose's reasons make a compelling argument.

Waiting for the rest of the chapter errm.. the Tomar adventure - yes, this has left me hanging!!

Author's Response: Raskoph is a significant villain, and when he meets his end it will be... significant. Will it be now, or later? Guess we'll see. He does, of course, know about Eva, so how that's going to be handled will be forthcoming.

There's only a split in terms of different people dealing with different problems. My plans for completely splitting the gang up in different countries got canned; this Portugal sequence is what we're getting instead.

Matt's insecurity was kind of inevitable, so it was time to shed some more light on that. I think Rose isn't wrong, but it's a difficult situation and there are lots of different ways of being morally right... and morally wrong... it's complicated. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #41, by prettywishes Like a Stone

11th June 2014:
I know that you said that you didn't really like this chapter, but I really did like the transition bits. It was nice to see Rose and Selena talking about what had happened, and about the morals. Sometimes its easy to forget about them in a situation like this, so I thought that the reminder was a nice touch. Really like how Rose is sort of determined to keep Albus' morals in check, sort of shows how they all sort of view him as above them in a way? And the whole run in was very interesting, wasn't expecting that at all! But of course, interrupting that sort of magic probably wasn't the best call. So I'm really excited to see how they're going to deal with this stone dragon in the next chapter!

Author's Response: There *are* things I like about the chapter, mostly the Rose/Selena conversation, but for the most part it does just cover getting from A to B and then setting up the next action/revelation sequence. So I'm glad the chat was enjoyed, and it was good to put some of their perspective on matters in general and post-Ager Sanguinis in particular.

Interrupting the ritual will have some side-effects, BUT Selena wasn't wrong in that they probably did have to do something if it was another Phlegethon/Eridanos ritual. Still!

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #42, by RelentlessFire Like a Stone

11th June 2014:
I read all of the chapters till this one, I'm really sorry I haven't reviewed the others, I had a rough month. Great as usual, I've absolutely enjoyed each one of the chapters. I thought the bridge had some importance in the story eheheh
Update soon

Author's Response: No need to apologise! Just thanks for reviewing when you can. The bridge was, indeed, an Oh So Subtly-laid Chekhov's Gun. Updates coming all the time!

 Report Review

Review #43, by Whimsical Diva Like a Stone

10th June 2014:
Nothing much to say here, really. Can't wait to see what happens next. Have somehow got the feeling that they'll be heading back to Britain - maybe it's because of the repeated mention of the Celtic knot-work. Emrys/Merlin was Welsh, amiright? Have a feeling they'll be back in Blighty soon.

Author's Response: Emrys was Welsh, indeed. It's possible there are clues in Britain, but who knows! I am trying to not make too many comments on where the future will take us from here. Geography is its own surprise! Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #44, by prettywishes Whistle in the Dark

8th June 2014:
Okay, so technically I owe you like 32 reviews because I just sat here and read through all of this, but instead your going to get one really really long review instead.

First off, you really know how to create a really good plot. At first I was a little weary, wondering what was all going on, and then the whole break in thing happened and I figured that was going to be it! Not that it wouldn't have been enough, but it would have been typical. But of course it wasn't! You've really managed to create a plot that reminds me of a real novel and I swear that you could easily write yourself a real novel if you ever wanted. You have so many complicated elements working together, and I love love love how much history has gone into this. I especially like how you are willing to make strechings with magic. You aren't afraid of what could 'really' happen in the books for certain things, and I like that. Because fanfictions are OURS and don't have to match 100% with the book, though everything you've done does seem pretty cannon.

And then there's your characters! I'm going to start with Scorpius because I literally love the way that you portray him. He has got such a complicated upbringing, and I feel like you really take note of that in the best way. Yes he is a bit much sometimes, and really doesn't think he matters and yet acts egotistical sometimes, and I'm not sure it that makes any sense. But you've managed to balance him out really well, and I just really like how you've characterized him.

And then Rose! She's great because yes, she is living behind her mothers shadow in a way, but she's dealt with that! She knows that she's not going to be the smartest in the world, but sometimes you only need to be the best one in the room! I also like how she and Scorp challenge eachother, and her relationship with Al! Especially like how in this chapter we're learning how she's really not afraid to get her hands dirty!

And Albus, you've taken the stereotype that he's like 'the nice guy' and really fleshed it out loads, even showing how in some ways being the nice guy is almost like a weakness? And I loved the chapter where he and Rose talked about how he needed to deal with the pressures of being Harry's son, because I think that it's true. And I'm really loving the whole conflicted thing over knowing more about Lisa's past and how he's dealing with that.

'Lisa' is one of my favorite characters at this point, party because I never really expected her to be as fleshed out as she is. I am almost like rooting for her to end up doing the right night in the end but I KNOW that she probably won't. I just wish she would. But it's been interesting to see her deal with all this undercover work and figure out whats really her and whats pretend and maybe see hints of who she wishes that she could be?

Selena is honesty one of my favorites of all time, she's just such a complex character and a tough nut to crack. I give her a lot of credit, even for just getting out of bed as has been said, and especially for dealing with all this post-veil stuff without having a mental breakdown (at least not yet). My heart breaks for her, but it's been cool how the sadness almost seems to motivate her rather than stop her? Really like how she was the one who took over the whole holiday.

And then Matt! Watching him struggle with the whole being in love with Rose thing was hard, but I'm liking seeing how he's coming into his own. Really like how he seems to be a good guy, lying for Scorp and all when he thought that it might be to much. Sometimes nerdy characters seem to have NO social skills, but I feel like Matt's doing decently with all things considered. And while I know it might not happen I find myself shipping Matt/Selena, even though I'm not sure it would really be the best for either of them.

Also, I loved the chapter where you showed what was happening a how, how Harry was off instead of being home, stuff like that really just added more depth to the story. Still can't wait to see how everyone will react when they turn out to be alive after all (assuming that they all make it out of there in one piece) but it is for the greater good!

Very excited to see where this keeps going, and again, this is an amazing story with fleshed out characters. You should be very proud of this!

Author's Response: I don't mind one long review!

I do try to hold my fanfiction to the same standards of plotting as my original fiction - and yes, I am gamely endeavouring in that direction! For the magic, I try to keep to the 'essence' of JK's world, the theme and idea, in so far as I interpret it, and extrapolate from there. The trick is keeping everything with the same atmosphere, though of course it's all rather subjective.

I love my Scorpius - yes, he's arrogant and yet self-doubting. It's more that he uses the arrogance as a mask to hide his insecurities, but over the years the arrogance becomes a habit that he can't shake.

I love the others, too, but it IS Selena who's stolen the show for the story. My original plans for her were never more complicated than, "archetypal popular girl whose depth we'll explore", but instead she became an instigator for this entire story, which I NEVER intended until I sat down to plot Starfall. Her and Matt - I enjoy writing them as friends. I'm letting the characters dictate this one. If it becomes romantic, it becomes romantic. If not, they'll be good friends. But they've got their ups and downs coming.

Thank you very much for your kind words, and I'm glad you've enjoyed this story as much as you have. There's plenty more to come.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #45, by Whimsical Diva Whistle in the Dark

6th June 2014:
I remember Rose telling Scorpius that they appear to be living off luck. Personally, I think if it's anyone living off luck, it's Eva.

If I remember correctly, the first time Rose read Paquet's mind, Paquet mentioned a 'woman' being there with Thane, but I think Rose got up to Downing but upon seeing his face, she baulked and that was that.

This time again, she gets to Downing and then is thwarted. Whilst it was always apparent that there was no love lost between Eva and Downing, she did harbour feelings for Thane. However, now that Rose includes Thane along with Downing, does that mean Eva's over Thane? I mean, she was still making a case for him in the previous chapter. It's also curious that Rose detects guilt amongst the emotions Eva felt when she confronting those people she killed - did she always feel guilty about it, or is that a result of running around with the gang?

I remember thinking the whole Albus/Eva thing would be pretty terrible. Like I hated it even before it happened. But you know what - I'm warming to the idea. I mean, it's sort of cliche, but it still WORKS because it's done well. What does one call a brilliantly written cliche - an archetype? Maybe they could go on to have all those maladjusted babies now, lol. I mean, he pretty much got over the fact that she's a murderer, I don't think that she murdered for Thane is really going to make much of a difference anymore to Albus. It might, to Selena though, and I wonder how SHE will react if she ever gets to know about Eva's past. Fly off a handle and murder everyone?

Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Eva is pretty lucky, yes. You're entirely right on how Paquet almost outed Eva before she was ever known to the party, but Downing diverted her. Though Downing wasn't luck so much this time - Ager Sanguinis was. As will be addressed, Downing was an intentional Legilimens defence, because it was an easy enough thing to train herself into subconsciously. It's a genuine memory and it makes her look on the level.

Is Rose extrapolating that if Lisa hates Downing, she must hate Thane? Is she feeling something in Eva's subconscious that Eva herself isn't aware of? Shrug. As for guilt -Eva has repressed and compartmentalised whatever she feels about the people she killed. It's taken Ager Sanguinis for her to take a good look at her life (her choices). What she'll CONCLUDE - was it wrong, or necessary? - is still up for debate.

Certainly Albus/Eva would not be the most original idea in the world; my intention is more to play around with it firmly and honestly. But then, Starfall's a story about hunting a Holy Grail analogue and it included a break-in and theft from a casino. I'm not sure this story is anything but archetypes or clichés. :D

As for those two - we'll see. Though for Albus' forgiveness, it's important to note that HE thinks that Lisa is someone who HAD a bad past and is since working for the good guys - like, since before he met her. But if he learns that she never changed, that she was still the unrepentant murderer working for the bad guys? Guess we'll see. Someone has to have changed their ways before they can be forgiven. Albus thinks he's forgiven someone who's far down that road, not forgiving someone who hasn't really started down that road yet.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #46, by whykay Whistle in the Dark

6th June 2014:
I am surprised you chose to use Lisa than Eva. Was she guarded in sleep and it just so happened that the surface thoughts that were err.. surfacing were those of Downing than Thane? And of course, her bewilderment and gratitude towards Albus?

But Rose lied. Twice.

In my previous comments on Rose and her character development - for me there was no visible flaw in her or spark or reason that drives her to act like she does. And this chapter was good. Rose is instinctive, perhaps? She isn't really righteous or nerdy or bad ass or sly. She is more like Ron though I tended to look at her as more like Hermione.

I wonder what Eva took from the little exchange between Albus and Selena. Speaking of which, it is great. They seem to be holding two ends of this entire adventure - the emotional angle and the practical planning. Perfect face off.

Thank you!

Author's Response: Sleeping, Eva was thinking of Ager Sanguinis. That was the dream she was having when Rose popped into her head. But Eva is a trained Legilimens, and even on a subconscious basis sensed this - so shunted her memories to Downing, because that made her look innocent, still. By the time she was conscious of what was going on, of course, she was tackling Rose. So what Rose saw was... honest, and the truth, just it was a truth of Eva's choosing. And Rose has merely extrapolated, erroneously, from Eva's hatred of Downing to assume she hates Thane, too.

And yes. Rose has taken a turn for the manipulative, here. Necessary or not, it's still dubious to go looting through someone's mind, and it's why she lied to Scorpius; she didn't want him to know what a horrid thing she was doing. So... that'll come up.

It's true that we have not really addressed why Rose is there. I mean, there was her introspection in Monaco, but is it the full truth that she's there for her friends more than herself? It's possible. 'Why' is the big question of this story. Rose has also had her worst flaws filed off her by Ignite; I think she's grown up the most of all the characters. So she's not as pushy, not as self-righteous, not as closed-minded. I see your points; I think she's in something of a state of transition. Though we will see her do more awesome things soon, and we will see her screw up soon. Her ups and downs in Starfall are not over.

Selena and Albus make good counterparts and book-ends to one another. If nothing else, while Selena is more pragmatic, they're both very instinctive when it comes to their morality. Scorpius and Rose and Matt double-think a lot; those two know where they stand at any given time. And, in the end, it's not a million miles apart. Selena's just more cynical. This is still the girl who got woken up in the middle of the night by Rose and Lisa fighting and, before she knew what was going on, backed up Rose.

Thanks for reviewing! And for the input.

 Report Review

Review #47, by whykay Dead of Night

30th May 2014:
Okay, so, Scorpius' and Matt's 'working relationship' seems to be taking a good turn here, courtesy Matt. He is definitely growing on me, poor guy! Doing the right thing sometimes sucks big time and he is braving it and soldiering on and is even occasionally helping enough to get ScoRose moving. Definitely a decent chap and definitely what I expect from Gabe's son (strangely, not Jen's son - it would have been too cliched to state so :P). So go Matt - Cheers!!

Last chapter, I felt Scorpius might not be so affected. But I realize here (and from Albus' conversation with Eva) - there is this constant worry and tension if he has gone bad, 'cuz that is in the genes/ on expected lines/ default situation in his life. Sigh. Must be so tiring to be the exception, the aberration and to constantly prove it. This is one way, Sirius Black was another, maybe Dumbledore was yet another. Which brings me to how Rose dealt with it - Scorpius simply dealt with the situation at hand, in the best way he could. And that's that. So simple. I wish she rubs off on him more.

Loved Matt-Selena friend-zone so much. Sometimes it helps to have friendly human contact to get over dead-exes. Matt's sort of turning the nurse here, without the emotional baggage from Ignite.

I cannot understand Albus - is he trying to get Rose to get into Lisa's mind only to assuage himself that he did the right thing by rescuing her time and again? 'Cuz certainly he seems more concerned about preserving Lisa's privacy than his team's (which includes his best friend and cousin) security by not bringing them up to speed on her misdeeds. Or is he actually very Slytherin-ly also using his Achilles heel to ferret information out of her, Albus-style (truly justifying his choice of Slytherin House to more than just befriending Scorpius)?

If Rose does try discreetly, I am sure Eva or Lisa would be trained to fight this invasion. Interesting how that will pan out.

A teeny weeny comment: I would love to see Rose's arc / story from her point of view / first person. I agree with your response to my earlier review on Matt-Rose break up been dealt with in Ignite. She fills all the gaps and meaning, but you need to still find that spark that keeps her going / make her a little unpredictable/ show shades of grey (cuz real people are like that). It can very well be that I am totally missing the picture !! :D

Author's Response: Matt's being a good egg here, and is trying to do right by Scorpius. Mostly because it's the right thing to do, rather than any particular fondness for Scorpius. Brooding about it but ultimately doing the right thing is rather him being his father's son, isn't it? :D Jen would have brooded less.

Scorpius does worry that some of his temptations for evil, or, I suppose, lack of OPPOSITION to evil - the desire to be practical over moral - comes from his father. He didn't touch on it much, but it was partly why he shyed away from Rose in Paris; he didn't want to treat her like his father treated his mother. He's constantly his own worst enemy, because his temper gets him in trouble, and then he's his own worst critic. Rose is doing well this time, because she sees the good in him, and does trust him.

Albus is torn. He knows things don't fully add up from Lisa, that there are specific unknowns. And obviously the first answer there is Legilimency. But he doesn't want to use it, and right now he's kind of confused by what he saw in Ager Sanguinis - he's not sure what TO tell the others. He's not sure what he saw, means. I could probably emphasise it better, but Albus does struggle between knowing what's sensible when he's away from Lisa, and then talking to her and his instincts as a good guy wanting to help.

Eva is, indeed, likely to have some training in Occlumency. Guess we'll see how that goes down.

Hrm. I'm always happy to provide more Rose, though I'm genuinely curious as to what you mean by what you feel is missing. She had a centre-stage role, dramatically, in the Monte Carlo act; most of what happened there emotionally on the run-up was from her POV. There is still more in the story of her struggling with choices and what the quest is doing to her - that much is to come, and quite soon. There's also still more to come of her and Matt.

For that, I'll say read the next chapter when it's out, and tell me what you think of Rose in that. But if you feel I'm neglecting an aspect of her, do say! I'm always happy to put my characters through more situations. Just there is still More to Come, and certainly from Rose.

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #48, by water_lily43175 Dead of Night

30th May 2014:
Now I've stopped staring at whacked-out Voldemort GIFs, I'm here.

Poor Scorpius. I really do like that you're tackling this issue, of what it's like to make a first kill. It actually makes me think back to poor old Minty G, and her woes on the subject. It's a huge thing, to take a life. And it's also an interesting contrast with Eva, who previously seemed to not give a jot about killing someone - although there's obviously more under the surface than that.

And Matt continues to do the right thing. And yes, it feels awful, but it's making him a better person and I'm very proud of him for doing it. Bless him.

"I couldn't help but overhear. Perhaps because I was stood at the door listening." Ha. Selena does make me giggle.

The Matt/Selena dynamic is so lovely. I just adore a male/female friendship dynamic that isn't one of cousins. I think a lot of people tend to put all the focus on the romance or the bromance or the girly friendship (why is there no girl equivalent of bromance?) and so it's really lovely to see Matt and Selena building something platonic. And I would be more than happy if this is where you left it with them, because not every storyline or character development needs romance to make it good.

And I continue to love a fully-functioning Scorose. She always knows the right thing to say, bless her.

I do love how Thane and co view killing, as though they think it makes them humane by only killing when necessary, but at the same time efficiency apparently equals necessity. Nice try, guys, but it's not washing.

Eva's little moment of self-realisation here is ... interesting. She wants to make her own choices? Well, we'll have to see if that manifests itself into anything.

But the most interesting thing here is that we've been led to believe, through Eva's perspective, that Thane was the best thing that ever happened to her. But now she's hearing it from Albus' perspective - that Thane used her and took advantage of her. Something she'd never even considered before. Is she going to realise this for herself? I really don't know. She's put Thane on one hell of a pedestal, and she needs to bring him down from it before she can fully understand.

And yet, Thane himself remains a mystery. He's not all bad, far from it. HM.

Just a note, you refer to Lisa as "Eva" once in the narrative, just after Albus asks if she regrets killing those people. I don't know if it's deliberate or not - because given the question he's asking it would make sense if you did mean it - but I'm just letting you know in case you didn't mean it.

The ending is ominous. I don't think she's thinking about poker any more. I still don't think you'll do it, Eva ... but we shall see! Good stuff as usual. :)

Author's Response: I think those whacked out GIFs have done something to my life.

I was bewildered when I realised I'd NEVER addressed killing in combat before. How had I missed this in the Anguisverse? But it's very fitting for Starfall; the nature of these choices, the things 'heroes' need to do in order to be safe and successful, is very much something the story's about exploring.

Matt is trying to be a better person. He doesn't like it very much. But at least he has Selena as a friend! I love writing those two; it was never intended as a dynamic but was, I suppose, inevitable - there's a reason Selena and Methuselah started spending so much time together in the first place. Being outside the Big Three will do that to a duo. And they are definitely FRIENDS, and will continue to be friends. This might turn into something else, and if it does, then so be it, but I am adamant that if it does it is absolutely 'friendship turns to romance', not 'romance is born out of a close bond that was inevitably going to be romantic.' Neither of them are in a place right now where it would be a good idea, anyway.

Rose has grown a lot, and has managed to turn her great brain to people, to understanding them, and to helping them. I think she might be the most developed of all the characters in this story, though she might have to monkey knife-fight with Selena for that title.

Thane and co are definitely hypocrites. On the one hand, they are NOT needlessly cruel; on the other hand, they have no qualms about being cruel if it's useful. That they have fewer evil deeds does not make the deeds they do commit any less evil. Eva thinking about her own choices is like poking something in herself she never knew was there. It'll take time for her to figure out if it means anything.

In many ways, Thane DID do her life a lot of good. He also immersed her into a very dark world and used her. The 'child soldier' comment from Albus is very apt. And then it raises the questions of, at what point is Eva responsible for her own actions, if it's a world she was brought up into? At 14, killing someone for the first time? Or is she too young and too 'brainwashed' by then. At 17, an adult? Is she always responsible? Is she never responsible, having not had a chance to be different? Or somewhere in between?

I aim to be very careful when I use Eva and when I use Lisa. The usage in this chapter was intentional. We'll see where her regret takes her, or if her 'programming' takes over.

Thanks for reviewing, as ever!

 Report Review

Review #49, by Whimsical Diva Dead of Night

29th May 2014:
I wanted to make my own choices. In my own right. Without thinking about what he'd think, without being limited by anyone else.

Strange she gives that reason. From what I gathered, she seemed to be enjoying doing what she did with Thane, and wasn't exactly being 'limited', was she, other than the fact that, well, Thane didn't allow her to kill when there was no need.

I fail to understand this girl, really. So terrible things happened to her, so she did terrible things to innocent people and seemed to enjoy it. And Albus is being sympathetic to a fault if he actually pities her for all that killing, instead of passing judgement. I surely think he should speak with the rest - or at least Rose and Scorpius about Lisa's past. By choosing to trust her, he's not only endangering himself but also the others. There's a fine line between his idealism being depicted as his Achilles heel and him coming across as a bit too good to be true. I remember you saying in one of your review responses that Albus's arc doesn't really take off until the third book, so maybe there are shades of grey there?

Ah Selena and Matt! I love those two, I do. I remember wondering if they'd be paired at some point, but I think I like them as friends better. Reminds me a bit of Tanith/Gabe.

And Scorpius. If anyone's got the right to milk an action for angst, it's Scorpius not Albus. Maybe Scorpius will do his nut and tell Albus off sometime in the not too distant future for wallowing in unwarranted guilt?

I remember you saying the gang's about to break up - though now I'm not sure if they'll break up because of an argument or otherwise. I hope it's the former.

Great chapter as always, and do update when you can.


Author's Response: In Paris, Thane explicitly has a conversation with Eva about how she pretends that killing people is all she's capable of because it's easier that way. Eva acted like she was perfectly happy with her old life, to the point where even she believed it. But there were allusions that it was not as simple as all that.

The reason she gives for leaving IS a half-lie. She's scrabbling for a germ of truth because that makes the lies convincing. And she stumbles upon a sleeping desire she didn't know was there - and she has no idea how strong it is.

Albus is being something of a Polyanna, yes. But 'child-soldier' isn't a far-off assessment of the truth. As for his idealism being 'too good to be true' - well, we know his trust is misplaced. Eva IS lying to him. As such, he can't really be being too perfect.

Stupid, perhaps, yes.

Selena and Matt - I'm specifically not making plans on the two of them and the nature of their relationship. If romance happens, it happens. But they have a nice, close friendship developing, and I will see that grow before anything else could happen.

Certainly Scorpius' misdeeds now trump Albus' misdeeds. He's not exactly one to make a habit of yelling at Albus, but we'll see how it plays out.

I was going to split the party; originally, the lead to Portugal would be two leads, one to somewhere else, and the gang would split to chase them both. I started writing it, though, and it became a pretty bloated and pointless 'side trip'. So that idea was canned/saved for later.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #50, by couldyoureallyknow Dead of Night

28th May 2014:
Great as always! Eva/Lisa seems to be struggling with what to do at this point which is interesting. More soon please!

Author's Response: Eva is finally confronting issues she'd actively ignored in the past. We'll see where that winds her up. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>