Reading Reviews for Falls the Shadow
104 Reviews Found

Review #26, by tydemans The Girl of Your Dreams

29th July 2012:
This is a vivid chapter. I love how you portray theory of Occlumency so starkly against the reality of it. Theories can so easily fall apart when pushed, and Robb was certainly doing some massive pushing.

Blind stubbornness and love - that is something Tanith has in spades and a very believable defence whereas her inexperience against a monster like Robb would have crumbled a rookie Auror's training eventually. Amazing how you weave the excerpts into the story. Really well done. And she ended there - so close!

'We can negotiate on that point.' Haha, I agree with Toby.

Now I feel bad for beating up on Cal last chapter.

Author's Response: Yes, while Tanith would have a natural aptitude against Occlumency - despite being a passionate person, she's incredibly strong-willed and is very good at compartmentalising her feelings - the proper theory only goes so far against an expert who can take their time. So then it degenerates to a complete raw willpower test, though again, that will only last so long if Robb can keep her locked up and poke through her mind as he wishes.

I think Tobias' chosen headline would have been quite appropriate, myself. ;) And yes, this is where Cal gets a little bit of redemption...

 Report Review

Review #27, by water_lily43175 The Great Fire

29th July 2012:
I do love this chapter. Vaughn is a little bit amazing.

"I think we're turning this tide." FACEPALM. Oh Jacob. I love him a little bit ... the poor guy! You're so cruel to him. Uncon had better be good to make up for what you have planned!

And Ritter! Adorable. Basically I love this chapter. And basically you're killing off everyone I like. It's not on really, is it?

Author's Response: I love Vaughn. He's a bit Moody-esque, but Moody's dead, we need a new Moody, and Vaughn's a bit more balanced!

It's true, it's not good to be a secondary character in something I write (and even worse to be a part of a love triangle in something I write). Unconvictus WILL be awesome. I promise.

 Report Review

Review #28, by water_lily43175 The Golden Age

29th July 2012:
And so begins the re-reviewing of Shadow. In honour of its completion here, clearly. :) '...blood ties do not mean an increase in my dexterity.' I love this line. AMAZING.

TANITH IS MAKING TEA. That was clearly a hint for later in the fic, haha. Oh, dear, she is HOPELESS with her family, isn't she? Poor thing. you reckon it's possible to Apparate INTO a bed? If so, it would be pretty painful! I mean, how do you know to avoid something that you don't know is THERE? Interesting thought...

Oh CAL you idiot stop moaning about your job. It provides a mug. That is clearly all that is important.

Author's Response: Yay rereviews! Many re-s!

Tanith's hopeless with her family and as hopeless with kids as people who aren't used to them are. Bless her. For all the truth about her father patched up her family relations, getting to know her little niece is what's REALLY begun binding Tanith to the rest of the Coles.

Yeah, apparition INTO physical matter would likely be a risk, though I'm not sure how magic would avoid it. Probably developing those kinds of instinctive adjustments would be something you'd learn, since you have to picture the place in your mind - interesting, can you apparate to somewhere you've never been before? Somewhere you've just seen a picture of? I think the Trio probably do in DH, though Hermione HAD been to the New Forest and BLARGH theory nerding, I should avoid this road.

Cal has a desk job which pays and where he can drink tea. He has NOTHING to complain about. And yet he does.

 Report Review

Review #29, by tydemans The Domino Effect

29th July 2012:
Love happy-Tanith, she's such a rare bird. But the girl does deserve to celebrate a successful mission, even if no one can know.

And Cal's picking up hints of her little muggle secret. At this point I'm wondering if David's not just a one-time gig. Maybe he and Cal can start a band since Cal's got nothing else really going. (Well, except Perkins, and we already know my feelings on her. I'm glad he wiped his mouth and threw her out. I hope he went straight away and brushed his teeth.)

Ah, but then there's the second half of the chapter and I know the band's not getting together. Happy-Tanith couldn't last. You inched us up to the very top of the coaster before the plunge. And plunge it was. My stomach dipped when Toby found out and that very last line gave me a shiver.

Now I'm mad at you and Cal.

Author's Response: Happy Tanith IS rare. I know I'm cruel to all my characters, but I think she is generally my favourite chew-toy. I'm just mean.

Cal is the one she'll have to be careful in lying to, because he's the one who'll identify any Muggle influence. He and David WOULD get on, alas. But there will be more from Cal... even if Perkins is an obstacle he'll have to deal with.

But I do like this chapter ending, if I may say so myself. ;) And I do deserve being mad at. And Cal does deserve it. Read on! :D

 Report Review

Review #30, by tydemans The Far Side of the World

28th July 2012:
Her second offer to run away. This one quite a bit more tempting.

And the L word! That trumps Quidditch.

Although, I'm glad Tanith realizes that if Cal is trying, she needs to meet him in the middle somewhere. Preferably somewhere Perkins is not.


Author's Response: And she almost did. The Tanith of one year earlier, the one who still thought her parents were supremacists and her sister was an idiot, probably would have done. Since then she's learnt more about her father and is getting to know her niece, and couldn't do it.

Yes. The L Word. This is such a huge scene and it was almost not in the story at all, but I realised while writing that if it didn't happen, Tanith and Tobias wouldn't be on the same page together for a SICKENINGLY long time, and it's hard to have your driving love story with them not being together for 90% of the fic! And now it's so stupidly integral to everything. Crazy.

Tanith SEES what she needs to do with Cal. Question is if she'll do anything about it. She's not good at that.

 Report Review

Review #31, by tydemans The Dogs of War

28th July 2012:
Coals for Cole. Don't know why that popped into my head, but it's brilliant - the theory, I mean, and not the wordplay. I absolutely love the Floo theory and how you not only worked out the plan, but revealed it in such a completely natural way.

Still loving Dimitri, but I'm going to defend Gabe: school WAS school, but some people never change. Riley isn't completely unbiased as to who is doing the antagonizing.

And what was that charged little moment? Me...I mean him. Never mind, forget that question, I have a theory there, but I want a theory on the BIG VISION. Is it the scion prophesy, the war, something else you've cooked up? You're truly not good for my health - I'm all tense now.


Author's Response: Even if "a wizard did it", I like there to be some principles behind my magical theory. It feels a bit cheating when I'm writing the theory to fit the plot, and not being clever and coming up with plots to exploit the theory, but I'll deal with it. Everyone seems to love Dimitri. ;)

Gabe's not strictly wrong. Riley's not strictly wrong. People can change and holding schoolboy grudges is unhelpful in war, but equally saying that people can change when they've given no evidence that they will is... silly. As for Gabe's him/me bit, I'll give you that one for free: he's talking about Annie's funeral. His very first vision, after the passing out one, was seeing that through Nick's eyes, with Jen crying on Nick's shoulders. So his recollection is of Jen crying on HIM, Gabe. It gets complicated for the guy.

As for Gabe's Big Vision... read on!

 Report Review

Review #32, by tydemans The Looking-Glass

28th July 2012:
Your updating is phenomenal. You put me to shame for not getting here sooner with some well-deserved appreciation for this story. Like for this chapter...

In a word, Gabe! In more words, the words coming out of Tanith's mouth with Brynmor were hard to read (and not due the writing, for sure). Unimaginable how hard those were for her to actually say.

I was hoping Gabe wouldn't spend the war in Brazil. No idea how he ended up with a group of Gryffindors - didn't he turn one of them into a duck in school? I'm slightly worried that he couldn't go near Tanith or Cal for similar reasons he couldn't go to the Ravenclaw stands. That's not foreboding at all, even before considering 'you're going to have to'.

Take care!
~a very tardy Ty

Author's Response: It seems I'm either chronically inactive or I write like a demon. I harnessed the latter this time to get the bloody story FINISHED - it's all done, this one and the next, it's all over except, you know, the actual posting.

Tanith's lying to Brynmor here was awkward - and yet rather natural to write. As a lie, she's tapping into something uncomfortably close to the truth. If she wanted to, or had to, that's how she'd have twisted her mind to come to accept the New World Order. Which, of course, made that only harder, because the best lies have a little truth in them and that's not a truth she'd want to face.

Explanations of how and why Gabe is where he is will occur. Though no, he didn't turn one of them into a duck, Cal Transfigured himself (partially) into a giant duck and the two of them attacked Gryffindors together at the lake. Easy mistake to make.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #33, by Margravine The Homecoming

27th July 2012:
Today happens to be my birthday. This is a rather lovely present. I simply can't believe how far the gang have come, and how much they have grown, or that I've been reading this literally for years now! There was a beautiful symmetry in tanith and Toby coming a full circle to their last declaration, and while this could have been an ending point, I am utterly excited we get MORE and regularly. Because I love these kids, and I know their issues won't be resolved by a little thing like the end of a war, and that I still care about them enough to want to read every detail of their struggle for sanity and functional relationships.
Brava! Encore!

Author's Response: I could not have planned the timing, but I am thrilled that it happened anyway! Your feedback and support have been consistently welcome and helpful, in letting me know I'm on the right path and in keeping going when motivation has been low. Giving a finale as a birthday present is the least I can accidentally do.

There will indeed be fallout, a whole mess of it, and we should be getting that at an uninterrupted pace over the next few months. I hope it will prove as engaging as this seems to have!

Thanks for all the reviews.

 Report Review

Review #34, by Whimsical Diva The Homecoming

27th July 2012:
Ah. It all makes sense now - the hints and little details peppered though out the chapters.

Anyway, this was great. I'm glad there's going to be more and I'd have been staggered if there wasn't, since there's so much more that can be explored. I doubt Cal and Nat will be able to salvage their relationship, Cal's infidelity notwithstanding. Curiously enough, Jen and Doyle look like the real deal. And as for Tanith and Tobias... I suppose it'll be interesting to see how they'll manoeuvre their way through a normal relationship and everyday life.

All in all, this was an outstanding fic. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Good that the "and this is what was going on all along" revelation worked. I try to avoid them from being clunky while you don't want to slow down the action earlier with a big exposition, so it's finding where to shove it in! But I hope Gabe's explanation of, well, everything works.

If there hadn't been a sequel, there would have been more chapters to Shadow - but when I decided on a sequel I thought I'd end it where Deathly Hallows ends it, and cover the aftermath as one self-contained story. But yes, you'll have to read on to see the fates of the various couples, you have indeed accurately identified the problems needing overcoming!

Thank you a whole bunch for your support and your feedback. It's always been appreciated and always been a motivator.

 Report Review

Review #35, by water_lily43175 The Powers That Be

24th July 2012:
I will go through and re-review previous chapters here, SOMEWHEN. I think I was very potty-mouthy when reviewing this fic, and there are a fair few missing. But never fear, they will be left eventually. But firstly, this bad boy! As I have said, it does seem RIGHT that our guys didn't fight in THIS battle. Because they fought in their own, AND broke into Azkaban, and it would indeed have been Too Much. I love that Urquhart was one of the Slyths that came back. I've said that before too. Would love to read his story at some point if you ever DID get the urge.

I love Harry so much here. Gets up to let Toby have his seat, and grabs another one for himself. I LOVE THIS KID. I like Toby/Tanith/Cal/Gabe interactions with Harry that aren't shrouded by the Gryff/Slyth thing. EXCITED FOR UNCONVICTUS TANITH/HARRY-NESS.

I seriously love this chapter, and all the discussions about What To Do Next. So right that Kingsley takes over initially, and I love that Harry's concern is over people agreeing with him for the Right reasons. Vaughn would be an amazing Minister, for the sheer lulz, but then he wouldn't be in the Auror department which would be sad come Uncon time and would also cock up Renaissance a lil bit. DIMITRI FOR MINISTER. Drinking gin every day would become a legal requirement. Or Russian vodka. Either suits me fine.

I love how picky Toby is about the Prophet/the Midnight Press. And how Vaughn finds it unnecessary. But Toby is so right, even if it is such a Tobyish thing to worry about.

I love how Jen sums up Gabe. Because I find it hard sometimes to get my head around him. But she just GETS him. Or he LETS her get him. They are so so perfect for each other, it's hard to believe that Jen's role was accidental!

So, yes. Love this chapter. Tie-ups, plans for the Ministry's future, hints at things to come in Uncon. Now all that's needed is our four's tie-ups and plans for the future ... ;)

Author's Response: I do owe you some old reviews in return. Clearly these chapters were so exciting you lost your mind and control of your tongue. Yes, I'll choose to make it a compliment!

Certainly it would have been a gratuitous and 'for the sake of it' if the last chapter had then moved on to fighting in the reinforcements at Hogwarts. There was nothing which needed adding, and there was nothing wrong with building up the idea that there was fighting elsewhere, even if it wasn't as epic as at Hogwarts itself. They had their achievements and their fights and it also helps lend some broader scope to the world, I think/hope!

I can never tell what I'll choose to write in the future. I think Urquhart's story will remain untold (and he'd have only ever been a secondary character anyway) but he does get some minor cameos in Unconvictus, if that helps.

Harry IS a sweetheart here. I love writing post-Voldemort Harry, I think he'd just be so down-to-earth - once you've killed a Dark Lord, what's to be worried about? So of COURSE he gives the guy who's struggling to stand his seat. Even if that makes poor Toby feel pretty embarrassed. But Harry will continue to be awesome, I hope.

I did enjoy writing the meeting, figuring out how they reach all these decisions we take for granted - like Kingsley as the Minister. Kingsley is also a character we'll see more of. Vaughn would NOT make an amazing Minister, he'd be an AWFUL politician - he's too uncompromising and blunt, which might be personal virtues but in politics he'd make too many enemies he could easily AVOID antagonising and not do too well at getting things done. But that makes him a pretty exceptional head of the Auror Office. But yeah, see how he doesn't get the importance of the free press, even if Toby is being rather nitpicky in his principles - this is stuff a politician must care about. To be Minister, Vaughn would have to give up too much of his Vaughn-ness.

Jen does Get Gabe. And yes, it's a lot because he let her, and it was down to circumstances that he let her - the war made him want to believe in something, and she was what he wound up believing in (I mean, he believed in her because she's awesome, but there's a reason he didn't care about her before). Reading old stuff makes it hilarious to see those two interact - you can tell I didn't plan it, because there are LESS THAN ZERO seeds, unless you count Gabe getting himself beaten up by Nick and Cormac because he made bad jokes about her.

But yes, last chapter's in the queue, and Part 4 of the Trilogy will come along soon! Thanks for re-reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #36, by Whimsical Diva The Powers That Be

22nd July 2012:
Loved the chapter to bits. I suppose we're at the fag end of this story, but just wanted to let you know that I've been following this lot and their travails from the Latet Anguis in Herba days - and crikey, that was ages ago, come to think of it - and have loved every moment of this trilogy.

Was wondering whether this is the last instalment, or whether you've got something in the pipeline? I hope you do, since there's a serious dearth of good post-war fics. Maybe you could call it Fifty Shades of Grey, lol. Nah, just kidding.

I see you've got another new fic up. I'm generally very sceptical of Rose/Scorpius, since this is a ship that never quite gets a thoughtful, considered treatment, and as often as not plot, nuance and characterisation gets sacrificed at the altar of silliness and cringe-making 'romance'. But given it's written by you, I really have high hopes, and am off to read all the chapters on the trot. :)

Author's Response: It's been an awfully long journey with Latet! And I can only thank you most sincerely for having followed the story through all that time. It has been always heartening, whenever I've faltered in my work, to know there are people out there reading and enjoying this. So I'm glad you had a good time with this chapter!

There is, indeed, more in the pipeline. Another novel-length story, which I have actually already finished (save, you know, editing and cursing and screaming at it), and that should be posted presently after the next (last) chapter of Shadow. It should indeed cover post-war issues and life. And ack, never that title. THOUGH Latet WAS originally entitled 'Shades of Grey' when it was initially more about Tobias and less of an ensemble piece, but I went for the ensemble title in the end. Which seems a lucky choice under the circumstances.

I hope you do take a look at and enjoy Ignite! I know I do have my own prejudices and Feelings about Scorose, so I hope I don't fall into any pit-traps which other people find problematic about them. I'm not trying to subvert the genre, but at least do it WELL.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #37, by water_lily43175 The Sky's the Limit

15th July 2012:
Ma favourite chapter!

It's actually horrendous to think of poor old Nat, in Azkaban the whole time...

I like that Tanith understands why Cal did what he did. Even if it's effectively because of him that she's now in Azkaban. Because he really DIDN'T have a choice here.

I actually find it really FUNNY, that Tanith is so adamant that Tobias won't fall for the trick, that he'll realise that it's not Tanith... When he didn't. Well, he WAS noticing things, but he hadn't quite put two and two together! Men.

I do love that Tanith PICKS THE LOCK in Azkaban! But so true that they wouldn't ward against it! I need to learn this trick...

Ungh I LOVE the bit where Tobias just controls lightening like a BOSS. So good! I think my reaction would be similar to Cal's if I were there. IMMENSE.

Jen's patronus is a lion. OF COURSE IT IS. I love her.

I also love Dimitri. Amazing. And Tobias: "it's okay, I broke it." YES.

T/T MOMENT YES LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Basically, I REALLY like this chapter...

Author's Response: Yeah, Nat's life clearly SUCKS. There had been a sequence in the chapter where Tanith went to visit her Dad where she ran into Nat, who was completely out of it from being incarcerated all this time... but I decided to be nicer. She'll need some time but isn't going to be Above and Beyond in terms of psychological scarring.

Tanith might be inclined to blame Cal for stuff when she's losing control, but ironically in a crisis she's more likely to keep her head. Also, since Cal's been on the run for months it's harder to accuse him of/worry that he's being manipulated by Thanatos unknowingly. I also think her conviction that Tobias won't believe Ariane is more wishful thinking! And the lockpicking definitely wouldn't have been possible without the Dementors; I think they would make an excellent security provision against breakouts just because the concentration and determination would be incredibly difficult and so why have too many other precautions? As per Sirius breaking out relatively easily once he wanted to.

Tobias getting to be super-awesome here is something I wanted to do for a long, long time. It was literally one of the first scenes I envisioned in Shadow. I suppose now he will never get to be as awesome, in his life, as he is in this moment. It's all downhill from here! Except that he gets the girl, so I reckon he's doing okay. ;)

Jen might be smart and cautious and capable of looking at the bigger picture, but she is so MUCH a Gryffindor, so much the one to stand up and face the music and be the protector as well as courageous, that I couldn't envision anything else as her patronus. She's there to prod buttock and take names. Her patronus was way easier to figure out than Cal's and Tobias'. ;)

Ta for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #38, by water_lily43175 The Whole Nine Yards

15th July 2012:
I love Dimitri. I am very sad that he was unable to make tea. Regardless of the circumstances.

IT'S ALL SO EXCITING that everything is happening! Especially because we know that Voldemort dies, but it doesn't guarantee that there's a happy ending here, and anything could happen!

Ungh love Will's 'saving my son' thing.

Tanith hesitating. YES.

"Tanith lowered her gaze to the floor, looking more cowed, more beaten, more weak than he had ever, ever seen her, and for a few seconds, just from her slumped posture alone, he could barely recognise her."


Love the Brynmor/Will duel. And Dimitri is so adorable, getting pissed off with all of the duelling when he's trying to heal someone!

SUCH an immense entry from Gabe and co! Love them. Gabe's vision. YES.

Love that Cal took his own father down. Yes.

NOT TANITH GASP. Poor, poor old Ariane... And time to find Tanith!

Author's Response: I am glad this chapter works with the tension even if we know the war's going to end! As you know I did agonise for a while about how much I wanted the gang to be at the Battle and so forth but I do think I made the right call here.

I feel most sorry for Dimitri in all of this, though. He's a lover, not a fighter! Or, more accurately, his talents are not in duelling nor ESPECIALLY in healing! But Will gets to be pretty awesome even if he does need saving by Cal. It's only appropriate it goes down that way!

And yep, my cheap, cheap switcheroo. Ariane only not dying because I find her too amusing to kill her. I'm easily bribed, apparently. Thanks for ze review!

 Report Review

Review #39, by Margravine The Sky's the Limit

15th July 2012:
Magnificent. Currently backpacking, will gush at length when back to civilization

Author's Response: Hmph, well, I suppose being outside of civilisation is a good excuse for a shorter review! ;) But seriously, I'll happily take 'Magnificent' as a one-word descriptor, any day!! Thanks.

 Report Review

Review #40, by water_lily43175 The Game's Afoot

29th June 2012:
Yesss, finally! :)

I SERIOUSLY love this chapter summary, by the way. And I'm not sure that I agree with Toby here, salad is NOT tasty.

Plan to pay LOTS of attention this time round. And already I feel as though there are lots of clues, as though there are a few little Things that aren't totally obvious on a first read, but on a second read are jumping out and screaming at me. Very Good Job.

And I loved this first time round from Will, and equally so this time: 'if he's really gone off the rails...' Off the rails. Titter titter.

'I'm going in there to get my son.' I LOVE THIS. Will. 'My son'. SQUEE.

Tanith. G&T. Been round Ariane and Melanie too much. MY INITIAL THOUGHTS on first read. Seriously. But I would take G&T over ouzo, regardless of my lukewarm feelings towards G&T. Ouzo. Bleurgh. Love Dimitri.

'Are you okay? You seem a bit... out of it.' Facepalm.

'The Salford Irregulars are certainly not loyal to the administration. That's why they've been stuck in Salford for the past six months.' I love this. Salford gets the ribbing this time.

Ah, the end is so exciting! Things beginning to Happen. Love Jen's subtle annoyance that she was never in the DA. Bless her. And I love Gabe saying he might actually join the battle at Hogwarts. ADORABLE.

Author's Response: I never intended for the chapter summaries as 'life lessons' to start, but I'm AWFUL at chapter summaries and it kind of happened so I stuck with it. The fact that they're usually very frivolous even about dark subject matter is sometimes kind of twisted!

I am glad the clues here work, as clues to what's going on when you know what's going on and yet aren't blowing things open. I really thought some things were going to be too obvious, but it was impossible to tell.

Will is pretty adorable here, and finally getting to be the big Papa Wolf that he's been all along. And being an outrageous hypocrite, which Tobias knows, but because TOBIAS wants to rush off to save Cal, he's okay with this.

I apparently seem to spend this fic criticising bits of Britain. I never have anything nice to say about any of it, apparently. But Salford totally deserved it.

I had to do the call-back of Jen's irritation at the DA - there was a reference in Shade to her knowing things were Going Down the night of the Astronomy Tower fight, but Katie refused to elaborate which she just found aggravating. And I imagine an authority control freak like Jen would have HATED the DA being right under her nose (and be a bit hurt she wasn't told). But yeahh, Hogwarts Battle Is Coming.

Cheers for the review. ;)

 Report Review

Review #41, by water_lily43175 The Early Bird

11th June 2012:
CAL. He's alive. Thank god. How long this will last, I don't know. I have warned you what will happen if you kill him...

OH GOOD GOD he was being drugged? That makes ME feel so much happier. Though I feel bad for hating Cal for bonking Perkins now.

Ah. So THAT's how they know where Toby is. No traitors. Good good.

I had a horrible feeling, just before Nat was brought in, that this EXACT thing was going to happen. You horrible person. I've told you what I want; a big Cal/Nat brood. If this doesn't happen ... ugh. Devastated. And I HONESTLY don't know what Cal is going to do here...

Toby has more chance of surviving, if Cal opts to save Nat, than Nat does if Cal opts to save Toby. I think. Therefore, got to go along with it here. Toby will understand. I hope.

May the first. Oh god. It's coming.

WHOA how do the Ministry know where David lives? That he even EXISTS? Ugh. I guess they know all, don't they? Oh. OH. Obliviated. Oh, poor David! :( I guess it's best for him in the end... because T/T WILL happen. Right? And Tanith can't just leave a Muggle, once he knows about magic. She kinda has to stick with him. As James has discovered, bless him. But yes, it's all kicking off now. HOPING that nothing too bad comes of this, because in 24 hours' time things will be going down at Hogwarts, and naturally everyone will be there, fighting ... OH GOD I NEED MORE PLEASE I WILL BEG LOTS.

Author's Response: He lives! He is in one piece! I would say an ominous "for now", but these become gratuitous. But it is Not Over, and the trials and tribulations of circumstance will continue. Though yes - he was being drugged, bewitched, take your pick. I mean, there was a bit of genuine desire and manipulation going on there, but it took some magic to tip him over the edge. And even HE, by then, believed he was capable of it. Which is a well done job by Thanatos; unfortunately, the truth coming out NOW merely strengthens Cal's resolve against him.

And then that resolve is undermined by Nat. Because if Thanatos was only keeping her alive with the knowledge that Cal would turn against him otherwise, he now knows that Cal HAS turned against him. And yes, his 'betrayal' has logic, and is, I think, the only thing he can do. Because if he refuses, Nat dies now. If he agrees, Tobias has a chance. Not that Cal wouldn't hate himself forever if Tobias died because of this.

There IS a reason why the Ministry know who David is. I am wondering how the hell I can get this across in the story, but I think I know how I will be able to pop it in (stupid characters have to witness these things). But yes, it's hard to just DUMP a Muggle once they know about magic! Tanith wasn't really thinking of the long-term when she told him, though it's hard to blame her. Though she's lucky it's easier for the Ministry to Obliviate him than murder him and cover it up (because a cover-up would take effort and probably Obliviations anyway!). And now, well, I guess we'll see, because if it's the morning of May 1st, then in 24 hours it'll all be over.

More on Thursday. You know the drill! :)

 Report Review

Review #42, by water_lily43175 The Course of True Love

4th June 2012:
Yay Jacob! Oh my, this is EXACTLY the awkward conversation I wanted! Haha. BUT what he said, about the problem sometimes being the other person, makes me wonder if David's time with us is soon to come to an end. Because, let's face it, in any other circumstances Tanith wouldn't be with him. Because she'd be with Toby. But she wants and needs the company that David provides right now. So yeah, he's important in a sense ... but he's not Toby. And at the end of the day, Toby is the person Tanith needs to get past all her Bletchley-related problems.

AND more Dimitri. This chapter has gotten off to a perfect start. And I LOVE that Toby is finally able to open up to him. It's nice for him to talk to ANYONE about Tanith, really, but because it's Dimitri, who I love, it's even more special. And Dimitri is right. She will swoon, and they will be together FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER unless you kill one of them off first. Or both of them. With you I'm not ruling anything out.

Oh, poor DAVID. I'd not given masses of thought towards HIM, and how he was coping with all this ... but it must be very odd, not having a clue when this is all going to end, and how things will work out when it does. And I don't care what Tanith says, the minute that a chance for her and Toby to be together arises, she'll take it. I think. Or maybe she won't? Maybe she WILL stay with David? I expect she will just so you can be cruel to them some more. It's as though you don't like T/T...

Oh, of COURSE Jen is the injured one. Now Gabe can nurse her back to health and they can fall in love and be together forever, happy days! Oh, I do like happy!Gabe. Don't go thinking that because 1/4 of our intrepid foursome is happy, you can make the others' lives hell. It doesn't work that way!

All in all, a very lovey chapter. Which is good, because everyone needs a bit of love, especially in the midst of war. But I haven't forgotten everything else that's going on. Mid-April. Hmm...

Author's Response: I'll be honest: the Jacob/Tanith conversation was not in this chapter. It was written on demand! That and the original draft of the David/Tanith discussion was Not Very Good, despite my best efforts. I hadn't been happy with it, and so I rewrote chunks of that and it was buoyed up by Tanith having had a conversation with someone who WASN'T Ariane and Melanie. Even earlier plans did, really did, have Tanith sleeping with David, helping get past her Issues in a healthy and loving way. And then I sat down to write it, and it Didn't Happen. Obstacle, thy name is Tobias Grey. He has been a right thorn in the David-plot's side, because every time I try to write Tanith being happy with someone else, she thinks of her beloved speccy git and fails. One thing I would hope is that Tanith will have grown enough that if she stays with David it would be because she'd WANT to, not out of some misplaced sense of loyalty. 'cos despite it all, her relationship with David IS helping her grow up emotionally.

Dimitri is entirely right about how Tobias should handle it (because Dimitri isn't HORRIBLY EMOTIONALLY STUNTED), but he's also right to make a point at Tobias about how it's all very well and good to be honest with himself about his feelings NOW, when it's 'safe' because he doesn't have to do anything about them - but what will he do when the war's over and suddenly rejection is scarier than death? I guess we'll see.

I never would have thought that Gabe would be the one of the foursome in the most happy and healthy relationship, but it's kind of turning out that way. Clearly I'll have to do something about that, one way or another! And I will, because although this IS a very Lovey chapter, as you say, we are up to Mid-April, May 2nd is Looming, and plot threads and emotional threads need wrapping up. Next chapter is the Beginning of the End, and occurs on April 30th.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #43, by water_lily43175 The More Things Change

24th May 2012:
I have a weird thing for Scabior. It must be because of the films. It's something about those trousers he wears. Though you've successfully put me off him by reminding me of what a douche he is.

Intrigued to see how things change - if at all - with Drake floating around. I hope this means more Ariane and Melanie time...

That whole lake thing was weird. I'd love to know if there's any significance to the fact that Gabe saw that vision of Cal killing Tobias again, or whether it's just that he's seeing everything he's seen before so naturally he's seeing that too despite him changing it. I feel like that sentence may not make sense. If not I apologise. Also this has reminded me that we never found out what Urquhart's vision was about ... is that going to be significant or was it just to prove to Gabe that they were genuine, back when it first developed? And I don't remember him standing in the middle of the Canary Wharf lobby yet. This worries me.

I will be pleasantly surprised if the centaurs help. And I'm intrigued as to HOW they will help too...

WHOA GABE VISION excitement. WHOA THEY'RE KISSING UBER EXCITEMENT. Oh Jen. I knew she'd feel guilty. And ... that little speech of Gabe's is the most beautiful thing that any of your characters have EVER come out with, it beats any T/T moment by far. They are so last novel! It's all about Gabe/Jen right now. I hope she doesn't take too long before realising that she's madly in love with him and can't ignore her feelings any more...

Also this chapter seems to have posted twice. Which is odd. :P

Author's Response: So it has! But... but the system is referring to BOTH chapters as 34, it's a literal duplication... So it's not like I double-posted or anything... I'm going to leave that 24 hours or something and then run up a ticket rather than touch things. *backs away*

Jen and Gabe completely steal the show in the last third of FtS, this is true. There's still more to come. I would say 'the best is yet to come', but I do particularly love this scene! And yes, poor Jen is guilty, it was kind of inevitable when your last boyfriend's not all that cold in the ground.

I'd normally be evasive but you can have this one for free: Gabe's just seeing all of his visions all over again, whether they actually happened or not. Also remember he doesn't just have his visions from his own POV (he usually gets them from the POV of the person he touches, so... his vision of the kiss would have been a vision of him kissing himself. Huh. I didn't think about that.) so it doesn't have to have been HIM in Canary Wharf lobby.

We shall definitely see more Ariane and Melanie. This I promise. As for Scabior, Tanith doesn't get to win often against the people around her. If she can't out-manoeuvre Scabior then that's a poor state of affairs. I wrote this scene after rewatching DH and being reminded how he was portrayed. Being a subversive little madam I wanted to write him in all of his oily, despicable glory, rather than the 'bad boy' image the movie (inadvertently or otherwise) gave him. So putting you off him was, basically, a goal! Score.

 Report Review

Review #44, by wicKeDwitch1316 The Moving Finger Writes

18th May 2012:
Short today. Lot's of comforting. That's important. Interesting that Tanith's gone over to David's before. I just watched the Grey's Anatomy finale, so I'm kind of emotionally drained, but lovely writing/chapter as always. Kind of surprised David wasn't horrified that Tanith killed a man. I feel like a normal person would be.

I'll be more coherent for the next chapter, I promise, haha.

Author's Response: I think I mentioned Tanith was coming from David's when she learnt about Tobias' "death"? Either way, they'll have gone there for drinks and such 'cos God knows she's not bringing him to hers. But the comforting is good and important after all of this drama.

David's in an odd space; he can never properly understand what she's going through, and he knows it, so all he tries to do is to support her. It's curious to be told about these things, horrid things when you have no frame of reference for them yourself - all you end up doing is focusing on the person in front of you who you care about, because that's something you can affect. And the best way he can affect her is to comfort her. But it's tough!

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #45, by water_lily43175 The Moving Finger Writes

17th May 2012:
I love your timing. NEW CHAPTER YAY.

Mmm, Jennifer is now referred to as such in Gabe's narrative... and I also like that he refers to Wilson and McLaggen by first names to her as well. Ooh, and here we go, he's called her Jen out loud. Yays for Gabe/Jen times! And I honestly love how I was there thinking the EXACT same thing as Jennifer about how Gabe was referring to them all, and then she said it after I'd typed it. I just had to double-check this, because I was going to say it and then thought, did he actually refer to the Lions in general in his head by first name, or just to Jennifer? But he did, as my check has confirmed. So to me, it's like ... he's growing more familiar with them, at least. It's like he's feeling a bit more like he belongs with them. Mind, it's probably because of the whole Jennifer thing, but even so. And so I'm now wanting THEM to trust HIM, and trust him PROPERLY, and not go along with it because Jennifer says so but to trust him in their own right. Because it's the least he deserves, and I think he just wants to feel accepted sometimes, even if he doesn't let on so.

Ah, I was wondering if Gabe had seen that Tanith had killed Wilson. Trouble is, it only occurred to me AFTER I'd submitted the review last chapter, and you can't leave more than one review, so I couldn't mention it.

There's something incredibly touching about Gabe being so soothing and comforting to Jennifer. Because he's not really done that before. He's been a friend of sorts to Cal, and Tanith, and Tobias, but he doesn't DO the whole emotion thing ... so the fact that he's here now, with Jennifer ... yeah. She is A Good Thing for him. "And I would follow you to the ends of the Earth if you ordered me to - and if you asked me to stay, for anything, for the cause or just for you, then Fiendfyre couldn't drive me away." THIS IS BETTER THEN "I KNOW YOU'RE TANITH JUST BY THE WAY YOU SAY MY NAME". So so beautiful. Who knew Gabe was capable of saying such things? It's the Jennifer Effect.

Was that night, the night that Tanith thinks about in the Slytherin common room, Jeremy night?

I love that she's FINALLY caved in and opened up and let all her emotion out! She's kept it all locked in for far too long. This is why David is good for her. Although I hope he doesn't decide he's bitten off more than he could chew, and ditch her. That would be SO cruel.

Just an aside, I hope you realise you've started a pattern here of killing off the unwanted corner of a love triangle? It's making me seriously worry about David's wellbeing...

Author's Response: Yus, this is the point where the narrative, and Gabe's own words, change for first names. I did originally have her calling her 'Jen' for the first time when they spoke in the alleyway after Nick's family were killed, but I thought it worked more if I got it all done in one fell swoop in this chapter. Because it is about him getting closer to the Lions as a whole, and trying to be closer, as he admits he wants to be. Even if he's not good at it.

I like the idea of Gabe as being someone who's pretty good with his feelings and his words when he gets the chance to be (versus Tanith, who locks it up and then messes it up). He just doesn't let it out very often, because he doesn't need to. In his case, the tight control of his feelings comes with a good dose of self-awareness (again, compared to Tanith, who controls her feelings because she's less good at handling them).

That and I AM also a sap at the idea of love being able to inspire even someone like Gabe to be a bit more poetic. I think that it's so unusual from him helps - Tobias being able to spin a pretty phrase is rather less surprising. But a spontaneous outburst of affection from Gabe is more 'honest'.

Yep, that night Tanith thinks about was the 'Jeremy night'. She's being a bit melodramatic and self-pitying, but I guess she DID immediately after that fuss about Tobias, then Tobias-and-Annie, then DEAD Annie and the rest is history. That was the last night she was just a regular teenage girl without even any regular teenage angst. David IS good for her. She can feel things and not explode. It's an important lesson for her to learn.

I DO have a habit of murdering the hypotenuse, don't I? I try to not use it too often, as a rule. It's often so CONVENIENT. Though I guess there was nothing convenient about Annie's death, especially.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #46, by water_lily43175 The Shot Heard 'Round the World

16th May 2012:
Oh no. I said things would be bad for Wilson. It's incredible just how much his and Gabe's house traits shine through in their argument! And actually, admiration for McLaggen here ... I mean, Wilson being willing to lay down his life to avenge his family is one thing, but for McLaggen to do it as a friend ... yeah, this is a bit of good-McLaggen I think. If we're supposed to think that sacrificing their lives for the cause is a good thing. I find myself second-guessing myself all the time now, we get it all from a Gryffindor perspective and I'm like "yes sacrificing your life for the cause is worth it" and then it switches round and now I'm there like "don't do it!". But I think that goes to show how well you write it, from a more Slytherinish point of view, that the more self-preservation thought process seems like such a logical one.

Oh, poor Jennifer! That wasn't much of a goodbye, was it? Part of me wonders ... did Wilson really not care enough for HER in the end? I mean, I get that his family were killed, and brutally so, but even so ... she's still alive! Come on man, think about this a bit! Mind, he probably still thinks he can survive this somehow. But even so, think about the possible eventualities!

Oh, no, TANITH...

Why did Everard punch her? This is confusing me. Do they just not believe Jennifer when she says that Tanith is their woman? Or was it just a way of him getting away without it not looking as though she let him?

So much frustration here that if it wasn't Jacob that McLaggen had pinned to the ground, then Tanith could well have acted so differently...

Ugh, hating that Tanith has to kill Wilson right now. But yeah, she has no other choice ... he's going to be killed anyway, and so either she does it and keeps her family safe, or she doesn't do it, someone else then does, her family are in danger ... yeah. I hate the thought of the possible repercussions this may have if the Lions find out she killed him though, regardless of intent.

And I'm back to hating Thanatos now, for making Tanith do that!

All I can say about Wilson dying is that at least it simplifies the love triangle stuff. Well, once Jennifer's gotten past the grief at any rate...

I hate that I've caught up now! :( I hope you update soon, I can't cope with the suspense!

This is an immensely long review. I'd apologise, but I love long reviews, so you should instead feel the same sense of joy that I feel when I see one this big. Even if half of it is me waffling on. ANYWAY. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Yaay long review! And don't worry, tomorrow is update day!

The sacrifice is... well, unsurprisingly, mixed. They HAVE delivered a great blow against their enemies, they have given their lives for the cause and to keep their friends safe, and in killing Lestrange they have probably saved lives they never knew were in danger. I mostly paint it as negative because it was done a little thoughtlessly and defiantly. Wilson was hurting, and wanted to punish his enemies, and didn't CARE that he'd probably die for it. That makes it tragic, because it makes him less a martyr and more of a victim, that the war drove him to not care about himself enough to throw his life away. McLaggen's is more of an honest sacrifice for the cause, and for his friend, though it's then tragic that he was led down that path by Wilson - a month before, Wilson wouldn't have done that, and maybe he wouldn't have done it a month later, maybe he would have been past his loss enough to not lose himself to it. I do believe there are things worth dying for, and there would be things in this war worth dying for, but Wilson's death could have probably been averted without compromising his principles. He just didn't look hard enough.

He did care about Jen, he did love her. That's kind of why he had to be so dismissive in his goodbye? Because on a conscious basis, he was shrugging off the possibility of dying (subconsciously, kind of accepting it), so if he took her and her warning seriously, he couldn't really justify leaving at all. Which meant he had to leave in a pretty douchey way for a final goodbye!

The Lions DO trust Tanith - but there's trust, and then there's Trust, you know? Everard was basically hedging his bets. He knows Tanith will bring him in if she has no choice, so decided it was safer, for him and for her, to not give her the chance. And a little bit on the off chance they were WRONG. Why take the risk, was his thinking. Though McLaggen was being a panicking idiot - and it got him killed. Tanith MIGHT not have stopped him if it had been anyone but Jacob, but equally a spell at point blank range against someone's throat is going to give them a bad day and Tanith has the kind of instincts which would balk at that happening to most people while they're helpless.

I think, philosophically, Tanith should not be blamed for killing Nick; there were no choices, and she's no more the killer than Brynmor's wand would be if he'd done it himself. But, of course, life, and feelings, and other people are not that way. There will be fallout. Eventually. Some day.

See, I can do long responses like you can do long reviews! I do love my chances to be self-indulgent. Thanks very much for the reviews; I shall update soon. And sorry about the revision. ;)

 Report Review

Review #47, by water_lily43175 The Elephant in the Room

16th May 2012:
I get where Tobias is coming from. But ... I agree with him, I think he's being too audacious, as he says. I mean, I get why he wants to step it up, because it seems as though they're not winning the fight at all - and, I guess, they're not - but even so, it's getting a bit far-fetched.

The entire conversation about tea, and oysters ... THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE CAL/GABE.

I love the whole bad-Gryffindor thing coming out again, from Gabe. Well, not BAD, per se, but just the fact that they tend to charge in gung-ho, whereas the Slytherins are more willing to hang back if the odds are against them. Which is sensible and, to be fair, to be admired at times like this. Even if being brave and all that is championed in the books.

So much sympathy for Wilson right now. He's lost his family, and the whole love triangle is getting WORSE ... will it ever end for the poor chap? I can't see things going too well for him, now he's REALLY fuelled up to fight, and he's the epitome of rashness...

On that note, I'm enjoying the triangle developments!

Author's Response: Toby is a LITTLE just reacting badly to the Wilson situation. But otherwise he does still want to make a proper difference, and this is the way he thinks he can. He is not coping well by being far away while people fight and suffer.

If anyone was going to be a cynic about the Gryffindors, it was going to be Gabriel - and he's right, this time, though he doesn't have to just be a Slytherin to see it, because Jen does, and she is a Gryffindor through and through. It's about responsibility as much as bravery; she's made herself their safety net and they don't entirely realise it. I am glad the relationship between her and Gabe is working, though, those two have basically written themselves, much to my surprise...

 Report Review

Review #48, by water_lily43175 The Devil to Pay

16th May 2012:
...yeah, again I find it weird that Jennifer is 'Riley' in the narrative when it's her point of view, especially given that Katie is referred to as Katie.

Whoa ... the whole keeping count of defeats thing? I kid you not, I have that same type of thing in my first war fic. Except that captures are rewarded more than deaths. That is so freaky, haha. Great minds think alike?

Ack. I knew I had a bad feeling about Wilson's family!

That's ACTUALLY horrendous.

Thanatos ... he is INCREDIBLY deep! To the point that it's almost ridiculous, except it's NOT. And I LOVE that he's so complex. Even the fact that he recognises killing is evil, is something. I mean, all Death Eaters see killing as necessary, but I guess in different ways, and this is the far more restrained approach, but even then I just love that he's got that depth! I mean, he's far from perfect; he's a Death Eater, he kills people without too much of a problem, but ... yeah. It's too easy to make all Death Eaters the same, to make them all Bellatrix-like, so yeah, I love his character, in an odd way.

Author's Response: ...why IS Katie referred to as Katie here? Why did I do that? Maybe because she's Katie in the books so it seemed weird to... I don't know what I was thinking.

I got the idea of the 'kill count' thing from WW2 (and later, but that's where the idea came from) pilots keeping track of their kills. And a little bit from a scene in Battlestar Galactica where pilots have an argument about the idea. But it's such a cool idea, so we totally cool people should totally harvest it. I wish I'd devoted more time in this to the issue of the Lions killing people, but I could probably write a whole story about the Lions and I can come back to the topic later.

I am... not GLAD this scene is horrendous. But it's definitely the most horrid thing I've written, so it ought to hit hard, and so it is good I have succeeded in that.

Thanatos is deep. And a hypocrite. And evil. I am glad that he's compelling, though!

 Report Review

Review #49, by water_lily43175 The Die is Cast

16th May 2012:
OHMIGOD David's back! I am very happy about this. And also happy that she's telling him everything. And I like that she's kissing him. In fact, the thing I'm most worried about is what's going to happen to him when T/T is rekindled! I have NO idea why I'm not angry at this turn of events, being the T/T fan that I am. I guess she needs this, in the same way that Tobias needed Annie ... oh if this means David dies I'll be gutted.

Tobias just doesn't know when to give up, does he?

You know, I was even thinking as I was writing an earlier review, and I referred to Will as Cal's foster-father ... surely the 'foster' isn't needed? When it comes down to it, while Thanatos may be Cal's father by blood, in EVERY other way Will is Cal's father, and so why were we calling him foster-father? (That and it takes longer to type, and I'm lazy!)

Author's Response: Yeah, Will was totally referred to as 'foster-father' so some day he could shed the 'foster' bit and it could be all heartwarming. ;) And it was something THEY did too; Will was aware he was raising a kid who's mother he killed and father he arrested. Calling himself the boy's father outright just seemed... crude?

I am glad the David scene goes down well! And yes, exactly, Tanith needs someone in her life right now, AND she benefits from the emotional growth of going off and being herself in a relationship with someone else. Survival of corners of love triangles not guaranteed.

 Report Review

Review #50, by water_lily43175 The Balance of Power

16th May 2012:
I kind of feel sorry for Wilson. In an odd way, because he's a git. But even so, it must be hard having to see your girl getting all up close and personal with a guy you hate. I do like the whole Gabe/Jennifer thing though. :) I can't help but think that using Wilson's parents' place will backfire though ... I mean, even if the Death Eaters AREN'T looking at Muggle houses, surely they'd have the houses of the Lions under surveillance? I don't know...

I can't see Tobias being too happy with having to use a walking aid for the rest of his life!

Author's Response: A walking aid is the price he pays for dodging death this time. He should just be glad he didn't lose an eye (yeah, that was the original plan).

Nick is - well, he's a former silly teenaged boy getting around to growing up, and because he's doing it in a war, SOME bits grow up, and SOME bits don't, and... yeah. He's a silly git, but he's in a tough spot. The Lions have got pretty good at taking precautions against being followed and chased. They'll just be a tad unlucky.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>