Reading Reviews for Vertigo
  
48 Reviews Found

Review #26, by NaidatheRavenclaw Sic erat in fatis

19th February 2011:
First off, let me say that I love the fic! I think the reactions of your characters were well writen and believable and your plot was amazing! Good job on making the fic realistic! That being said, I didn't care for the ending. Since this is a lily/James fic, I think you should have left it at when james comes back. The epilogue just doesn't seem necessary.

Overall, though, great job!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing and your comments/opinion. Glad that overall you really enjoyed the story!

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Review #27, by may Busillis

18th February 2011:
Really good story =)

Author's Response: thank you! reviews make my week!

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Review #28, by georgesbetch Sic erat in fatis

17th February 2011:
I loved the ending! I like how you tied it in with Harry. Oh my gosh, you made Sirius sound so attractive.(:

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the ending - I was debating for awhile how to properly do it.

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Review #29, by evans_4eva Sic erat in fatis

8th February 2011:
Wow this made me cry...such a sad ending, even though I knew it was coming :(

But this is such a beautiful story! I've sat here and read it from beginning to end in one go and it's so well written; it's as if I'm reading the actual story by JK Rowling...and I really do mean that.

10/10 and added to my favourites...thank you, it's been a pleasure reading! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! It's always nice to get a new review! I've written a few stories, but I've always felt this one was the best of my work.

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Review #30, by Ginny45 Sic erat in fatis

14th July 2010:
Here with my last review :)
Your characterisation in this chapter hasn't wavered which is good as some writers get to their last chapter and just want to finish the story.
Ok I am going to talk the bit before the three years later then the three years later bit.
How you finished the first section off was so simple and lovely. Compared to the last bit which was heartwrenching. I think you did her last thoughts brillantly and didn't butcher them at all.
All in all a brilliant Lily/James fic and I'm glad I had the chance to read it :)
RandomRed/Ginny45
xxx

Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing all seven chapters. It is great to get some feedback. I've had a lot of reads, but not a lot of reviews (at least not on this fanfiction website). And thanks for letting me know what parts you liked and giving examples from the story.

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Review #31, by Ginny45 Ad infinitum

14th July 2010:
Hey.
I really like your first paragraph the description is lovely and it grabs the reader straight away.
I adore this chapter I couldn't take my eyes away from the chapter for anything. (I nearly bit my brothers head off when he tried to ask me something.)
I can't wait to read the next chapter now. I wish James would just talk to her.
And Sirius interrupting.
Anyway another great chapter with no spelling or punctation.
RandomRed/Ginny45
xxx

Author's Response: lol about almost biting your brother's head off!



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Review #32, by Ginny45 Per Aspera

14th July 2010:
Hello. :)
Your characterisation of Sirius again is really good.
Like here, "You never are,"
It is such a Sirius thing to do.
This "I'm not like you, James. You never worried about anything... you just went with your present feeling. I wish I could live like that. I wish I could just live in the present, but the more I thought about our relationship, the change in my feelings toward you, the more frightened I became."

Is the best bit of dialouge from this whole story so far. It describes the situation and explains what is holding Lily back in a short paragraph and I love it. It is so simple but it speaks volumes.
This chapter is so heartfelt as you can really feel what they are going through.
RandomRed/Ginny45 xxx

Author's Response: I know poor Lily and James, but it all ends up ok :)

Sirius is a fun character to write and I did a lot of thought into this characterization.


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Review #33, by Ginny45 Busillis

14th July 2010:
Hi vertigo! :)
It start I didn't see any spelling or punctuation problems so if there was any they don't disrupt the reader.
Your characterisation of Lily is still on form.
Like here, and she narrowed her gaze at him as if suspecting he had used a spell to charm them.
I like how when you had James describe his night he mentioned Remus as I don't believe he would have forgotten about his friend.
I was gleefully smiling when they kissed :)
Awww no. James and Lily. A misunderstanding. Oh well I am going to continue reviewing you chapters :)
x

Author's Response: Very happy to hear you are enjoying the story and the characterization. Thanks again!

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Review #34, by Ginny45 A Posse Ad Esse

13th July 2010:
Hi! 3rd review here :)
Awww they are going on a friends date.
Again I got Sirius to a tee. This is exactly how his character wuold react in this situation and the same with Remus who always has to be the reasonable one.
I like how you have left a half cliffhanger with he will go looking for trouble but we don't know what happens.
Again the pace is really good as you are putting one step towards them being together in each chapter. I'm pretty sure that is the reason it works so well.
You do have an attention to detail and many point like you included Regulus (many don't).
This will be my last chapter review tonight but I'll do the rest tomorrow.
I really like this story so far though.
Sorry for the wait :)
xxx

Author's Response: No problem with wait for next chapters - take your time. Yes friend date time, yay! lol! You haven't read the next chapter, but the cliffhanger isn't really resolved in it - it was more to show characterization than for plot purposes. Happy you like the pace (since it is a short story) and my take on Sirius and Remus in this chapter :)

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Review #35, by Ginny45 Omnia mutantur

13th July 2010:
Hi it is RandomRed again. :)
I like how you introduced the war it was different as Lily didn't just tell the reader. Also many writers forget the fact a war was starting while she was Hogwarts and don't mention it at all. (Although sometimes it isn't relevent so I'll let them off.)
I know you said yoou weren't bothered about spelling but I found one word so I might as well tell you.
Here, Though Lily felt intimated by the cloudy look that passed over the girl's pretty features, James didn't look worried.
I think you meant intimidated.
You still have that balance going on with the humor and the more serious tone of the story you literally had me in two different emotional states at the part when they were having a heart to heart.
Again you characterisation of James is great he loves Lily but isn't acting on his every whim. Which is a sign of a more grown up James. He is in love with Quidditch but sees the importance in the precaution which again is his character traits. Oh by the way ignore the thing I said about what year they are in seeing as you mentioned it at the start of this one. :)
Your plot is unfolding at a great pace as they don't fall in love overnight but Lily is letting him into her life more this chapter
xxx

Author's Response: If you notice any spelling error that is perfectly ok to point it out. I had the story beta-ed, though it is funny how still some things are missed. Thanks again!

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Review #36, by Ginny45 Spectemur agendo

13th July 2010:
Hi! RandomRed here with you review :)
I love the way you have started the chapter it is very JKesque. (If you get what I mean. I understand that, that is not a word and I do hope you understand what I was getting at.)
I really like how you have written you chapter titles in Latin. I'm hoping that is what it is. It looks like Latin.
You balance out Seriousness with humor really well.
Like here,
Her friends joked that her icy glance could stop a raging Hippogriff in its tracks. You go from talking about her friend and Sirius breaking up to humor.
Your characterisation in this chapter is good. Sirius is oh so Sirius with his loyalty to James and his quick retorts.
Lily is again characterised well she has her temper but she still has that soft side.
Two questions Are they in fifth or sixth year because that is the impression I am getting. I think you should maybe make it more clear. Also is Allie in her year because Sirius mentions a third year.
I like the end when James hopefully smiles. It makes the reader wonder but not in an obvious way.
By the way I will review all your chapters some of them may be done tomorrow though :)
I like this chapter and am interesting to see where it goes.
xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review! The titles are in Latin you are correct. I thought I made it clear that Allie is same year as Sirius, but I will have to re-read to see. Glad you are enjoying the story so far, I put a lot of thought into it :)

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Review #37, by rubba_duckie Sic erat in fatis

13th August 2009:
this was a really good story i liked it very nice

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Review #38, by Stefania :) Busillis

20th May 2009:
OH MY GODDD !! THAT MADE ME CRY, THIS IS SO GOOD. yOU JUST ARE WORKING IT... IT IS JUST YES!
I LOVE IT!
JAMES, WHY AND OH LILY :)
THANKS,
DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY THAT IS HOW GOOD IT IS... :)
LOVE XX

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad new readers are still finding my story!

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Review #39, by bballcenter7 Sic erat in fatis

13th January 2009:
I've only just started to get into the fanfiction scene, but I have to say this was a very good story. The plot was very well done I thought, and while the syntax seemed to be a little heavy handed at times, with none of J. K.'s lighthearted prose (but who could really expect that anyway), the overall story was quite enjoyable to read. I noticed a few spelling, grammar, and unneeded words here and there, but not as bad as in other stories I've read so it didn't bother me too much. My only real problem with the story was the background you gave to Snape, how Lily had befriended him in her 3rd year. From the ending it seems you'd definitely read DH when you wrote this, so why couldn't you have matched Snape's story with the actual one? Just a little food for thought. I also agree that the ending was very touching, and that you did a great job ending it. Even though it was inherently sad, you left the reader in a happy state of mind. A very good story.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it for the most part. The reason I didn't match Snape's story to the actual one, is I had written and published on another fanfiction website the story up until the last chapter. Then DH came out, I read it, and wrote the last chapter. I was reposting the story on this site, and decided not to change anything in regards to the parts I had written before DH.

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Review #40, by Lauren M Sic erat in fatis

3rd January 2009:
That was an amazing and touching story! I loved reading every word of it!

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Review #41, by gwen marie Sic erat in fatis

12th December 2008:
This is one of the best Lily/James stories out there. Honestly...you didn't stretch it out to the point where some of the situations got absurd (many authors tend to turn their love story into a wild goose chase). You told your version of events perfectly, and it wasn't littered with mistakes. I was especially fond of the way you wrote James. He really did want Lily to like him, but he didn't do a 180 or completely change his personality in order to gain her affections.

My favorite part of the entire thing was the "me or the squid?" bit :) That was such a great idea!

So good...

~~~gwen

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Review #42, by Kahini Sic erat in fatis

30th November 2008:
WOW. just.WOW. that is probably one of THE best Lily/James stories I've read in a VERY long time. While slightly unrealistic (honestly, a 17 year old boy putting flowers everywhere and what not? highly unrealistic from my experiences with high school aged boys) it was so beautifully written. the characters were extremely believable, each one having thier one distinct flair that made them human. Your spelling and grammar were amazing, which is always such a relief now a days. I also think it was the PERFECT length. 7 chapters may seem short, but enver underestimate the power of something short, sweet, and beautifully written. I read this all when I was supposed to be writing a paper, but it was definately worth it. Once again, amazing job.

Brilliance.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I do understand your point about some parts being unrealistic, but from your overall comments, I'm glad it didn't detract from the story. I had a beta look over this story so I can't take all the credit for grammer and spelling - but I do agree that it can get annoying when there are too many blatant errors. Thanks again for reading, and I hope your paper came out ok!

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Review #43, by Namechange Sic erat in fatis

28th November 2008:
The ending sent shivers down my back! Although I hate what happened to Lily and James, you wrote their ending brilliantly. Lily's last thoughts completely moved me. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I did pick a sad way to end this story, but I felt it was needed, and I'm glad you enjoyed it and were moved by it.

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Review #44, by Hufflepuff_honey Spectemur agendo

22nd May 2008:
this was really well written pleeze write another chapter

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll update as soon as I can :)

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Review #45, by xTimexTurnerx Omnia mutantur

19th May 2008:
aweee, that was really cute. And I really like this James lots and lots. Update soon!

Author's Response: I'll update as soon as the queue opens again. The story is entirely written so updates will be regular. Thanks for reading and for reviewing!

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Review #46, by Victoire Weasley Omnia mutantur

19th May 2008:
Ugh, I don't like Jocelyn very much at all. She's not very nice. But I really love how sweet James is! I laughed when Lily said about how her dog used to sleep on her bed and James said, "Lucky dog". That was really cute lol.

You're a very good writer! This story is really well-written, and I like it a lot! I can't wait for more =] 10/10

Author's Response: Yea - Jocelyn is annoying, but she was fun to write. Haha, I'm glad you liked the quote about Lily's dog! :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #47, by Victoire Weasley Spectemur agendo

19th May 2008:
This was a really great opening chapter, I liked it a lot! Sometimes first chapters can be really boring and slow, but this one definitely wasn't, and it totally has got me interested. And I really loved the end; it was so cute when James smiled all hopefully just because Lily waved at him! He's so sweet! 10/10

Author's Response: Aww...thanks! Opening chapters are very important, so I'm glad it got you interested. And with so many Lily/James stories out there, I hope you find mine original, well written and well characterized.

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Review #48, by padfootprongslover (not logged in...) Spectemur agendo

3rd May 2008:
awesome. i really loved it.

Author's Response: Thanks! Next chapter will be up soon!

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