Reading Reviews for Love is Just a Word
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #26, by angie123 Introduction: The Plan

3rd February 2010:
You need a little more details, hon.

I like the story so far, but I need her thoughts and Ginny's thoughts. A little more detail will make your story absolutely fantastic.

Overall 7/10 for you. Re-post for next chapter. ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review this for me. It means alot. I will most definatly re-post for my next chapter! :D

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Review #27, by Sleeping Paige  Introduction: The Plan

2nd February 2010:
sleeping paige:

I agree with another reviewer who said this caught his eye. I agree that it is an original story that brings about current issues. Yes, I'll be thinking this one over in my sociology course tomorrow. Really, the idea of Hermione as an independent woman is interesting. If you want to follow canon just a bit, remember that Fred, who had a hole in his head, or is it George? Well, anything, he died in the Battle. Although it would twist your plot, perhaps it shows they are both in need of something. I don't know. That's merely a suggestion. Isn't it interesting JKR kiled out the twin with the hole in the side of his head?

Grammar= you are misplacing these things: commas, contractions (i.e., 'your' should be 'you're' or 'its' should be 'it's) and your 'hand qoutes' should be like this: " ... 'decent guy'".

And, incidentally, since this is written as the next generation, did you know that what Ginny claims is wrong? The numbers of single families of mothers who want a child with the 'relationship' is rising dramatically? This is the case especially in the UK and the States where men are needed less in the fields and women join the workforce. Bored you yet?

Nickname = This is really just a pet peeve of mine. Never in the books wasd there a reference to 'Mione. You give the Marauders nicknames and you assign people what phrases belonf to the previous generation. She was never called 'Mione. For one thing, I think 'Hermione' needs to stay as a respect to Shakespeare (he had a character who has that name) and it just sounds weird. I really hate when people write Marauder Era fics and they shorten and overuse the nicknames. Pads, really? And Lils? Who needs to shorten Lily? Come on!

Well, those are my thoughts. Nice introduction. You have something here as an original piece. Please return the favour. I hope this helps. Let me know.

- sleeping paige.

Author's Response: This was really good information, and has given me a lot to think about. Thank you for taking the time to review this. I can't wait to see what you think of the coming chapters. ^.^

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Review #28, by shellydododeedeedon Introduction: The Plan

1st February 2010:
XD! its good! keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Your such a nerd. Is that all you have to say? lol

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Review #29, by Niki: the best buddy :) Introduction: The Plan

1st February 2010:
This is really good! But you said to not be light on my review so I'm not going to. There are some parts that are kind of awkward. Like the whole diseases thing. Like maybe you could throw that in there differently or not mention it as much. Like I don't know how to explain it, it's just strange. But I like the story line of wanting a kid but not wanting a relationship. It's pretty intense. :) And the way you have the language really fits, like their grammar and the words the characters use and what not. Another thing you could fix though is the transition between scenes. It seemed like it jumped from work to lunch. I think it might be better if you had a clearer transition. But so far so pretty freakin good :D love it! Keep working at it!

Author's Response: haha yeah... I have people helping me with that... and I have big trouble from flipping to third person to first and back to third. :) Well thanks!

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Review #30, by Abhorsen Introduction: The Plan

26th January 2010:
Okay, I'll tell you this first. The idea of your story caught my eye. I was interested enough that I probably would have read it whether or not it was posted in my reviewing thread. However, you have a few serious grammar issues you are going to need to fix.

You have an issue with commas between a sentence and a name or a term of endearment. For example ("Morning Penelope", she smiled at her secretary. ) should have a comma between morning and Penelope to show that the name is different from the sentence.

Also, she Apparated to the office, not 'apperated'. Apparition is always capitalized in the Harry Potter universe.

About mid-way through, Hermione switches into control. You've had a third person narrator (ex: she did that.) until that point. Then, suddenly it's first person (ex: I did that.) This change is a little disorienting. You should probably pick whichever is more comfortable to you and stick with it.

Contents. I think I see where you're going with Hermione's decision, but you might want to show more thoughts leading up to it. What makes her come to this conclusion? Why will a baby cure loneliness and nothing else?

Good idea, but you've got to keep working on this.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is the kind of review I needed! Thanks for being honest, and flat out pointing out the flaws I have. I think my family is too soft on me sometimes. You've given me a lot to work with, I really am glad you took the time to go through all of it. Thank you. :)

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Review #31, by Soleil et Lune Introduction: The Plan

18th January 2010:
wow, no strings attached? can't wait for chapter two!

Author's Response: Thats the plan... Thank you so much! I can't wait either. ;)

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Review #32, by Livilulu Introduction: The Plan

13th January 2010:
Hey, it's Livilulu here, FINALLY reviewing your story :D.

This is a really great intro :). It's kind of short, but it's really great. You cover up the loopholes, about her and Ron, and you basically give them a reason, which is good, since it avoids confusion.

It's charming, really charming, I like how you depicted Hermione and Ginny's personalities.

Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thank you so so much for taking the time to review this! :D A million thanks!

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Review #33, by LurvMyFanfiction Introduction: The Plan

7th January 2010:
I wanna see how this turns out. update?
And, do you think you can message me when you update? please?

Author's Response: oh for sure. :) thank you so much! It really means a lot to me that you like it. :)

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Review #34, by FredAndGeorgeForever Introduction: The Plan

28th December 2009:
haiithere ^.^

i stalked across from tda, i saw your banner request. I was skeptical about this story, but you've won me over and i'll keep reading for sure '___' your writing is skilled.

Author's Response: aww :) thank you. That means a lot to me. ^.^

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