Reading Reviews for Unspoken Truths
64 Reviews Found

Review #26, by EllieMalfoy74 Dinner Disasters

18th October 2008:
omg thank you so much ron getting yelled at was what ive been waiting for!! great job i cant wait for an update

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Review #27, by thenoblehouseofblack Dinner Disasters

17th October 2008:
i absolutely adore this story! your writing is fantastic and you really have a way with words. the characters are also really great; yes, i realise they are jo rowling's characters but you've given them good and believable depth for this story. hermione acts the way you would expect hermione to act; like a real person and not some super-hero strengthed individual. i think what you've created is something beautiful and completely believable; a nice change of pace from some other very very fluffy pieces of work (not that there is anything wrong with fluff, just nice to have some reality mixed in). i'm really enjoying this story so far--can't wait to read more!


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Review #28, by Weasleys Forever Painted Mornings

22nd May 2008:
Now I have read and reviewed all that is up at the moment and have to wait for your next posting. Your writing is beautiful, the way you have given canon characters depth and complexity beyond canon is wonderful to read. It is impossible not to care deeply about our protagonists' ups and downs, their uncertainties and vulnerabitities.

Your storyline is nothing short of addictive. Pace is perfect, and has been throughout. Now your characters touch each other easily, which would not have been in keeping with character earlier in the storyline.

Nit-picking, it is "hole" not "whole", "navel" not "naval", "parents" not "parent’s", "Weasleys " not "Weasley’s", "we'd go to" not "we’d to go to", "heart's" not "hearts", and "barrelled" not "barreled" and a couple of misplaced commas and full stops.

I love the way you write, and am in awe of your talent. I will watch for further updates. I am adding this story to my favourites.

Author's Response: Thanks for ALL the review because the depth you put into them and the effort mean a lot to me. I know that this chapter had a few mistakes and in time I'll go back and edit them out so thanks again. :)

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Review #29, by Weasleys Forever Start of Something New

22nd May 2008:
This is a really lovely light chapter. No angst after the turmoil of Ron's betrayal. Draco's conversation seems almost tongue in cheek rather than vile and vindictive when you factor in Miranda and you feel he has mellowed at least a bit. Sirius's excitement at the prospect of achieving something concrete is infectious.

Your character interactions are wonderfully written, and I cannot find anything to nit-pick about.

Wonderful chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #30, by Weasleys Forever Past Indiscretions

22nd May 2008:
A powerful chapter. The revealing of Ron's betrayal is very well written. He realisation that, "she’d given him eight years of her life, of her love, and he repaid her with a shattered dream" sums up her life at that moment, and is the trigger for her decision that "she just wanted a change – from her unsatisfying job, to her tired look – she wanted to change it all, to start fresh".

Harry's premonition is very worrying, and a definite storyline hint. My concern is Ginny's unborn baby, but I hope I am wrong.

This review is shorter but all the good points from previous reviews still apply.

Nit picking, it is "imagining" not "imaging" and "bawl" not "ball her eyes out".

Author's Response: Thanks so much :)

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Review #31, by Weasleys Forever Cold Hard Fact

22nd May 2008:
Great chapter. Hermione and Sirius are so well written. They are both wonderful characters and so much more than they were in canon. Congratulations on that.

Your storyline is progressing well. I can hardly wait to see what Ron is up to. That final line, "only then did she know what it felt like to have her heart shatter" conveys so much more than "break".

(I will just mention it is "stayed", not "staid" near the top of the chapter.)

Everything else about this chapter is flawless. Wonderfully written.

Author's Response: It's really great to hear that you've improved on a character but still kept them true to the author's original creation. Thank you :)

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Review #32, by Weasleys Forever Midnight Musings

22nd May 2008:
Another excellent chapter.

We learn much more of the characters of our two protagonists, and hear hints of Hermione's history with Ron. This was extremely well written.

Hermione's life view can be summed up by "Life wasn’t a game of odds and ends; every decision, action and minute counted. Life was precious. It was a gift that had to be treasured beyond everything else," and Sirius is starting to treasure her in ways he cannot understand. Their conversation is beautifully written. She angry and rash and he reticent, concerned about the consequences of his words and actions. Their positions seem to be reversing.

The cliff-hanger at the end breaks the emotional tension of their conversation.

Your talent is amazing. I see from your author's page you are 17. Oh boy, look out world, here you come.

Author's Response: Lol, thank you :) I only turned 17 last week though..... but it's definitely a boost to my ego!

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Review #33, by Weasleys Forever The Lost Years

22nd May 2008:
A lovely chapter that adds so much more to our understanding of Sirius. "He wanted to go back to those precious moments in time and relive the carefree life he’d had when he’d been at Hogwarts, his home away from the prison that housed him. He wanted that freedom again." This explains the prankster that never grew up, the Peter Pan, that is hinted at in canon. His interaction with Miranda and his interest in Hermione's life as revealed in her photos is part of that escape he craves. However his limited realisation of what she has done for him and Harry points him to "acceptance, appreciation and warmth" of her. There relationship is changing from adult-child to two adults, which they are now.

Harry's response, hinted at by his tears, is heart breaking and heart warming at the same time. It reveals Harry in a real way.

Miranda's blue hair in the last sentence is a wonderful touch.

Little spelling point, it is lose, losing, not loose,loosing.

Your writing skill is phenomenal.

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you understood where I was going with his character and the reason why he is the way that he is. His life with his parents was less than perfect as is hinted in canon, so he has always lived in a sort prison except when he was at Hogwarts with his friends.

I just had to add a little prank in there, I mean Miranda was obviously getting on his nerves and vice versa and I see that as something Sirius would do. His first piece of magic from basically coming back from the dead is a prank....I can see that.

I do try really hard with my spelling and grammer, but it has never been my strong point and I am slowly getting better with practice.

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Review #34, by Weasleys Forever Hostile Greetings

22nd May 2008:
I love this chapter because it gives us our first view of Sirius Black. You have created the character of Sirius very well. His defensiveness, uncertainty and strangely his vulnerability shine through. His dawning realization and changing responses make him so real that his excitement at escape, almost another prank, are very believable. He is truely a Marauder.

However I got a little fuzzy during the second half of this chapter. I am still not quite sure if Bertha knew there was a disillusioned man beside Hermione and did nothing, or if she did not know. However the final line suggests that she knew and helped them escape. If Hermione was trying to get Sirius out, why did she bother with the paperwork, which had her and Miranda's names on it. Why didn't she just sneak him out?

Just one point, it is not "for peat’s sake!", it is "for Pete's sake", and I wish I knew who Pete was.

Wonderfully written and finely crafted. Keep writing.

Author's Response: There was actually a third part to that chapter and I originally posted it but changed my mind and deleted it, so that's probably why the 2nd part is a little fuzzy. But we can assume that for legal reasons she had to cover her tracks so there was no way she could lose her job or get Sirius in more trouble with the Ministry by just taking him out of there and hiding him.

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Review #35, by Weasleys Forever Beyond Darkness

22nd May 2008:
Another excellent chapter. The comments I made last chapter again apply.

You have created realistic 3 dimensional characters in Miranda, young James and even Isis the cat. Ginny's character is fleshed out further during her time with Harry in the waiting room. She is a mature Ginny, a loving understanding wife with wisdom she has aquired with age and experience. This is a far cry from her portrayal in canon as flirty, young, fiery and loyal and not much else. I like your Ginny more and find her far more sympathetic. You have furnished Miranda with a very believable history which is a vast improvement on the fanfiction standard of "twins separated at birth that no one knew about" which is so farfetched. I like the idea of Draco on her doorstep with financial statements trying to find out the truth, and then openly admitting the relationship. Nice.

You say in your author's note "I re-read and edit about eight times before I post anything. What can I say, I'm a perfectionist!" What can I say, it shows.

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I have to admit that I'm not a big fan of Ginny so I tried to improve her but keep her believable as best I could. Lol, I wrote Isis, the cat like I did, not because she plays a large part in the fic but mainly because I'd just gotten a new kitten and I called her Isis. Basically the cat was bugging me and jumping all over the couch messing up my papers, so I wrote her down in the story....weird I know, but it worked.

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Review #36, by Weasleys Forever Three Steps Behind

22nd May 2008:
I read your story and could have sworn I left reviews but I checked and I obviously didn't. Sorry as I try to review as much as I can - you took the time to write, I look the time to read, I should also take the time to review. Having said that, I will review chapter by chapter.

This opening chapter is excellent.

Your characters are extremely well written. You have started out with canon, and added age and experience and ended up with very real believable people. They are all very solid 3 dimensional characters, not the "perfect people" we often see in fanfiction where authors rely on the reader having a well conceived idea on characters from canon and then not bothering to build on a good foundation.

Your setting and storyline are good. The idea of the Mothers' Mafia grabbing Hermione and taking her bridal shopping is a wonderful situation. Your descriptions add so much to your settings, the little added bits and pieces filling out the bare bones of fact, for example Ron on the couch, the sound of his seet hitting the floor and turning down the TV when Hermione gets home add so much to the situation.

The fact that all is not rosy in their relationship, with the veiled hint of something in the past, pulls the reader further into their reality, and Hermione's admission to herself that she wanted more makes one want to read further. She is such a real sympathetic character that I want her to have the "more" she craves.

Your pace is excellent. Things are developing and progressing but not at breakneck speed, or at snail's pace.

Grammar and punctuation are good with minimal spelling/typo errors. (It is 'allowed' not 'aloud' but that is about all I spotted on my read through.) Sometimes spellcheck has a lot to answer for.

This is an exceptionally professional piece of writing and you have enormous talent. Keep writing.

Author's Response: My god, I don't think I've ever read such a long review but I'm exceptionally appreciative of it. Thank you so much and I'm glad you like the story. It took me forever to post this because I kept re-writing everything at least four times before I was happy.....

I can't wait to read the next reviews :)

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Review #37, by Krystle Lynne Start of Something New

19th May 2008:
I loved the conversation between Hermione and Parkinson, though the addition of Draco to the mix made it even better. Poor Sirius, getting woken up by Hermione to go paint. This was a great chapter, I look forward to the next.

~Krystle Lynne~

Author's Response: The next chapter has been posted but is just waiting for validation so you shouldn't have to wait too long :)

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Review #38, by Lindsey Start of Something New

17th May 2008:
So cute! There aren't enough Sirius/hermione fics in the world, they're one of my favorite couples! I was sad about Luna though, always liked that girl, wish her and Hermione could be better friends. :-)

Author's Response: While Hermione does resent Luna a bit for what she did to her with Ron, the two will have certain things in common in upcoming chapters that may breach that gap a bit. Hermione blames Ron more than she does Luna, and yes, I totally agree with you; there aren't enough Sirius/Hermione fics out there!

Thanks for the review :)

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Review #39, by Hong (Aquarius) Past Indiscretions

10th May 2008:
Wow! Great story! It was so dramatic...and powerful and sharp. I loved the scene when Hermione confronts Ron and Luna. "She had given him eight years of her life, of her love, and he repaid her with a shattered dream." That's my favorite quote for this chapter. Keep up the great work, I hope you keep writing. ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! :) I'm glad you like it; I'm currently half way through chapter 12, which I'm sure a lot of you will hate me for.....Hermione's life is going to take an unexpected turn.

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Review #40, by Krystle Lynne Past Indiscretions

28th April 2008:
Two years?! And Ron wondered why Hermione never wanted him to move in with her. I wouldn't have wanted him to either. I am curious as to what Harry is referring to...Hermione and Ron breaking up or something else. Great job and post more soon please!

~Krystle Lynne~

Author's Response: Harry could be refering to Ron and Hermione, but then he might not be....

Yeah, two years. But you gotta remember Hermione only thought it was a couple of months, so the reason she didn't want him to move in wasn't that, but the fact that she didn't trust him, not fully at least.

Thanks for the review :)

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Review #41, by LondonLupin Past Indiscretions

28th April 2008:
I hope you'll continue with it. I always thought that Ron wasn't grown up enough for her anyway. And I am completely obsessed with stories that pair her and Sirius. I mean, the guy deserves to live and be happy. And she's too mature for anyone too close to her age.

Author's Response: I agree with you on everything you've said in your review. Ro, to me, just seems too immature for her, and while Sirius can be pretty reckless himself, he knows when he can be mischievious and when he can't.

I like them together too, but I'm branching out so it's hard to stay in the right mindset for writing the story. But don't worry, I'm most certainly not done yet.

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Review #42, by MesshaBlack Past Indiscretions

26th April 2008:
Ugggh I hate a man that cheats, seems they would leave you if there wasnt anything thing there, but I guess they get comfy with you. But now Hermione can move on to Sirius :-).

Author's Response: She most certainly can move onto Sirius now, but that won't be for a couple of chapters yet. Don't expect things to be all rosey either....the next two chapters are pretty light hearted, but after that it's angst city.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #43, by Mikia Cold Hard Fact

16th April 2008:
Hurry up and post the next chapter!

Author's Response: Lol, glad to know you're desperate for more. I've actually posted another story and the backlog is 8 days so you probably won't get the next chapter for a couple of weeks, 2 at the most.

If you really want more now, I have 2 extra chapters up on FF.Net so feel free to go there and have a look at the upcoming 2 chapters.

It's just hard to get the chapters on here up to speed with the chapters there because of the validation and backlog.

Thanks for the review.

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Review #44, by ThePaladin_ Cold Hard Fact

16th April 2008:
it was about time to update :D

Author's Response: Yeah, sorry about that. I had a bit of trouble with the validators but it's all fine now.

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Review #45, by MesshaBlack Cold Hard Fact

15th April 2008:
Update soon I already love your story, I cant wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #46, by Lily4James Midnight Musings

11th April 2008:

i love it! its simply great, please update soon :)

Author's Response: Thanks :)

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Review #47, by marisalovesharry Midnight Musings

17th March 2008:
I'm absolutely hooked on this story.
My favorite by far.
Can't wait for me

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #48, by Lupins moon Midnight Musings

14th March 2008:
Its a lovely story. Can't wait to know what hapens next, and I love a story where theres an age difference! THe fact that Ron let fame go to his head fits in nicely with his character and the fact that he wanted to outshione his brothers and harry also. SIrius' return put a happy smile on my face because he is my favorite character and deserves some happiness in his life himself don't you think? Well keep going im going out of my mind trying to imagine what could hapen next. It's Lavender isn't it? Okay don't tell me cause that would ruin the surprise. Love the story, by far one of my favorites.

Author's Response: Sirius is also one of my favourite characters but I really think that J.K could have gone more in depth with his character, I mean he was Harry's godfather and the fact that he was the only real father figure Harry ever had, made me wonder why she didn't do more with his character.

I also love a bit of an age difference - not the whole 19 yr difference because to me that's just a tad creepy, but 10 years definitely sits fine with me.

I'm glad you enjoy the chapter and I won't say who the "mystery woman" is, but I'll say that she is a character from the books, so it could be Lavender, but then it might not be.

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Review #49, by snapeslover1991 Three Steps Behind

6th March 2008:
I like it so far. It makes me want to read more, and that is a fact.

Author's Response: Thanks

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Review #50, by Twippy Midnight Musings

6th March 2008:
Good chapter!

Is that the "other woman" showing up at Ron's door? Interesting. Can't wait to see the end of Ron and Hermione.

Author's Response: I promise it will be more complicated than you think.

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