ooo wow what a chapter! I don't think I've ever read a story where an author improved so much over the course of just a few chapters. I'm not saying you were bad or anything at the beginning, just that you've got better and better on each chapter.This was a longer than usual chapter, and it made for great reading. I still think you need a beta reader for this, but your grammar is getting a lot better.Right from the chilling beginning to the sad end, you really held my interest, and i think this is my favourite chapter so far. At the beginning, the dream was really chilling, and really grabs your attention. I can't work it out myself, and I love the mystery you have created in this chapter. Very suspenseful. I also think you manage to slip in some good humour that relieves the tension.I really liked the last bit, too. With the whole visiting Godric's Hollow. You manage to write the high emootion of the visit really well. And it was so touching and sad how everyone knew how brave Lily and James were, but no one else would know. And then you go and leave that nasty cliffie! :D. What sprang to my mind when I read it was Snape and Draco, but I can't imagine either of them smiling at the four when they come in so I don't think that's right. Really curious as to who it is though so let me know when you update again! Great chapter :)Author's Response: Wow, Long review, but i like long reviews.Yes, I know I have improved a lot over the course of the chapters. I've learned some new grammer rules since I'm taking a grammer course, since I admit, I'm not that good. I have also improved on being able to write more, and I really like writting longer chapters, since I fit more detail in.I am looking for a beta reader for this, but sometimes the best one is hard to find.Yes the beginning is chilling, and gothic [if anyone reads gothic litature out there they will recognise the common themes of it].Glad that this is your favourite chapter, i worked hard on it, so I really hoped people would like it.I love writting mysteries in fics, though I don't write mysteries since i don't like the genre, i like adding suspense. The reason this is, is because my friend says that she won't read any of my work if there isn't enough suspense, so I have her to advise me.I am surprised that I can add humour, I'm not a very funny person or amused easily, [sort of like Snape]. But happy some people find my work some what amusing.Yeah, I did put the thing with only the people who know what happened will ever know how brave James and Lily were on purpose. i like to go to grave yards [i get the best names there] and I always wonder what happened to them and it ticks me off when they just say the bare bones of their lives of just dates, and I always wonder "can you say a whole life in four words?" the answer is no.Yes I am cruel with the cliffy. You'll have to wait to see who it really is, and why they smiled. I am smiling right now thinking who it is... hehe... damn it is going to be hard to write.
Sorry for the long reasponse. Report Review
Wow, Long review, but i like long reviews.
Yes, I know I have improved a lot over the course of the chapters. I've learned some new grammer rules since I'm taking a grammer course, since I admit, I'm not that good. I have also improved on being able to write more, and I really like writting longer chapters, since I fit more detail in.
I am looking for a beta reader for this, but sometimes the best one is hard to find.
Yes the beginning is chilling, and gothic [if anyone reads gothic litature out there they will recognise the common themes of it].
Glad that this is your favourite chapter, i worked hard on it, so I really hoped people would like it.
I love writting mysteries in fics, though I don't write mysteries since i don't like the genre, i like adding suspense. The reason this is, is because my friend says that she won't read any of my work if there isn't enough suspense, so I have her to advise me.
I am surprised that I can add humour, I'm not a very funny person or amused easily, [sort of like Snape]. But happy some people find my work some what amusing.
Yeah, I did put the thing with only the people who know what happened will ever know how brave James and Lily were on purpose. i like to go to grave yards [i get the best names there] and I always wonder what happened to them and it ticks me off when they just say the bare bones of their lives of just dates, and I always wonder "can you say a whole life in four words?" the answer is no.
Yes I am cruel with the cliffy. You'll have to wait to see who it really is, and why they smiled. I am smiling right now thinking who it is... hehe... damn it is going to be hard to write.
Sorry for the long reasponse.
this was another spectacular chapter. I was so happy when you let me know that this chapter was up - as soon as i read the email i came along straight away! You have once again left me wanting more - your writing has brought me into the depths of the story and i am still loving the whole story! Roll on next update lolAuthor's Response: I'll let you know when i next update, but it probobly won't be for a couple of weeks. i'm glad that you think I can bring you into the depts of my story. I hope you'll still think that after the next chapter, it gets a little crazy. Report Review
UPDATEE!!!!!Author's Response: after updating one of my other fics this one will be updated. Report Review
I hope you will update soon as i am really enjoying this story and cant wait to see where it goes! Author's Response: I'll tell you when i update. Report Review
Ooh! Do you share the same hope as me about Dumbledore not being dead. I have this whole theory on the phoenix's song etc, yet i also have many theories on Snape illing DD as DD asked him to using occulmancy etc (sorry im babbling now). Anyway - this was another well written and extremely interesting chapter.Author's Response: Oh yes, i have this theory too, but i'll save my rants for the fic. I don't mind your babbles, they are actually pretty intersting. Report Review
lol - Ron was a tad nosey there!! Wouldn't they call Remus by either his name or Professor still? Calling him Lupin to his face is a bit distant perhaps? Anyway - another great chapter! I am still really enjoying this!Author's Response: Yes, well isn't he sort of nosy, i'd say he is. And he was their old teacher and he was harry's father's friend. They wouldn't say 'hey remus buddy ol' pal, hey how's my little werewolf friend. Ah, the full moon is tonight, too bad, hey don't you start biting my hand. Ah! what the! okay, no more sugar for you! ouch!' [little random converstation] But they wouldn't call him Remus. They aren't super close [he was their teacher, and Harry does call Remus Lupin , pr.] and it would be disrestpectful to call him by anything else. Report Review
Narcissa likes Snape? Well I didnt see that one coming (though it was probably staring me in the face lol). This was another great chapter - I love reading insightful storyies into Snapes character and you wrote it so well. Author's Response: Well i got that idea from how she seems to sort of get desperate about Snape. And anyway, why would bellatrix hate snape so much, because Snape almost caused her to marry a half-blood and that would make her ticked. It just works for the story. Report Review
I love the idea with the ink - it opens up new thoughts about Snapes character! Again, I loved this chapter - you seem to have the characterisations of the trio perfectly. Author's Response: Well i got the idea from the fact that Snape really would do something like that since all of his enemies are purebloods it would be a real laugh if james or sirius opened it up and couldn't read it. Also i remembered that Ron couldn't make it out, but hermione and Harry could. So logically that could work. And anyway, it felt like such a rowling thing to do. A lot of people think I've got the trio down right, well i guess i've got them down good, though i like to write Snape better. Report Review
A lot of people think I've got the trio down right, well i guess i've got them down good, though i like to write Snape better. Report Review
ooh - that was very interesting! I like how you write from different people's perspectives! Again, a couple pf spelling and gramatical errors but that does not matter too much. I really loved this chapter as much as the first. I live in hope that Snape is good in JK's versions so hopefully he is in yours?? ;-) Author's Response: Yes, me and my dad have this little joke about how if Snape doesn't end up good or do what we say he will [which i won't say, because it will be a spoiler for this fic] we'll write a letter saying 'okay rowling, what the hell.' But Snape will have more ground time soon. Report Review
That was a really fantastic and original start. I like how this has been written from Hermione's pov -- it makes it unique! There are a couple of spelling errors and capital letters that have been missed out which i thought i would point out, yet it did not deter me from the story. I really liked this opening! I love Snape (as you probably guessed from my fanfic Enforced Elucidation lol) - so this chapter really intreaged me. It was well written and flowed nicely. Author's Response: yes, Snape is very important in this fic. And i have tried to improve on what Rowling has done by having some chapters be in other characters pov. And i love to write Snape's character, so watch out for him! Report Review
nice story. fantastic. update soon!Author's Response: I will try. Report Review
nice story. fantastic. update soon!Author's Response: thanks! Report Review
I can't wait for the next chappie! jacAuthor's Response: I will try to write more soon. Report Review
hmmm, very interesting! the chapter needs a bit proof reading, but it's improving a bit. jacAuthor's Response: Yes i will try to edit more closely. Report Review
hahaha, fluer and ron are nosy. lol jacAuthor's Response: YEs they are. Report Review
hmmm, snapey liked lily didn't he...^_^ jacAuthor's Response: Maybe, maybe not. Wait and see what happens. Report Review
Very intriguing! still some mistakes here and there, but a very good story! jacAuthor's Response: I know there are a few mistakes. Report Review
*looks confused* i think I must have missed something at the end there...Wonderful storyline! jacAuthor's Response: It changes from Hermione to Snape and harry. Thanks for the compliements Report Review
Wonderful content! The spelling and sentence structure needs a bit of work though. I'd be happy to help you with it if you want ^_^ well, off to read the next chappie! jacAuthor's Response: Well i would like that. Report Review
be proud the charactors are very jk rowling and that is a hard thing to achieveAuthor's Response: Thanks. don't really know what to say. Well um... she isn't the best writer in the planet, so it isn't that hard. If Toilken or some other writer were writting the series it would be different. But thanks. I apprecaite that. Report Review
Like your story, update soon!Author's Response: I will try. Report Review
I love your story it's really well written and you've got a good plot I can't wait to see what happens next.Author's Response: Well i work hard on it. Hope you stick around to read more of it. Report Review
I liked the interaction you had between the characters this chapter, though I feel sometimes they went a little OOC, you usually pulle dit back (like Harry saying things like a detheater, he wouldn't because that's what makes him different to voldemort, he has always managed not to think like that). Interesting bit about Draco, look forward to finding out what that's about. oh, and loving the pic :D. Author's Response: Yes, the pix, got several of those, hehe. And harry is like a deatheater. For god's sake, he uses unforgivable curses, he wants to kill Snape. Voldemort you can understand, but he wants to kill Snape for revenge. Hello deatheater like. Lupin was really ooc in that chap. i admit. Report Review
ok, first things first, when I previously reviewed I didn't mean I thought Severus and Narcissa actually had a relationship, I completely agree on that she probably liked him, but Severus didn't reciprocate the feelings. That's all I was talking about. anyway, liked the chapter once again. I especially liked the introduction of the new character, Libren, though not sure if we'll see him again or not. Interesting take on HBP on the whole Dumbledore's death thing. Personally, I believe he's dead so this seems unrealistic to me, but I'll wait until you give your reasoning as to what really happened in this story before I decide on that or not. Nice chapter :-)Author's Response: Yeah, can't really say much w/out revealing the whole plot. as for Libren, well maybe, maybe not. Report Review
This is another good chapter, though I have some issues with a couple of the characterisations. Fleur is very mature, and dignified, I don't think she'd ask if remus and tonks were sleeping together. And the other bit was when you were saying remus had to realise people change and he's too much in the past, but I think Remus knows this very well, and doesn't need to be told. He can't let things get to him too much, or dwell ont he past because it's too painful an dhe'd simply despair, so I'm not sure about that bit. Otherwise, I liked the chapter. Hermione and ron are very well characterised, and I like your dialogue between them. Harry's just right, too. Can't wait to find out more about the diaries and what Hermione's found out, great fic, let me know when you update! :-)Author's Response: Well i'm working on and update right now. The banner was my first thing to do, so now i am working on chap six. Fluer didn't directly ask, and I have friends who are her age and act like that all the time, so w/e. And Remus does have some issues, and what they were talking about isn't just explained in the chapter, so don't freak or anything. Report Review
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