Reading Reviews for The Dream of One Night
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Review #51, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Nine - Avrille

27th June 2012:
Finally! To be back with Severus and Avrille. I have been trying to read this chapter for the past two weeks but people keep interrupting me and I want to read a few chapters, not one, since I have so many left!

I skipped lunch before my first observation with him and instead spent over an hour filling and arranging the student store cupboard so that it was perfect.

^ I feel like Severus will find something to say about this. Something negative of course. I don't think he would appreciate her trying to go out of his way to impress him because it comes off more that she's trying to show him that she's...better than him? She can do his job. He's replaceable. I got all of that out of one sentence. That has never happened to me before with fan fiction. Nice job!

Of course I could be wrong, but still, I enjoy analyzing things.

She also asked me about my former schools, with certainly more professional interest than the students, though she too was dying to know how I had survived with no boys around. She made quite the comical face when I remarked that I had always been too busy with work to really notice it.

^ This made me laugh because at any age, many woman still go on and on about 'boys' or men rather. I know, since I was thirteen maybe, my Aunts, ranging from their forties to their sixties would ask, "Any boys? Any guys? Any men?" ('Men' would be used once I got a little older) And whenever I would say no they would give me this face like 'what's the point of going to school then'? What a world.

I wasn't sure if I was simply being paranoid, but it felt like Lockhart had been everywhere I was the past few days.

You know I love Lockhart so I can't complain but he really has been in the story quite a lot. I wonder. Is he trying to make a move on dear Avrille? That would be funny for me but not for her. I suppose 'pretty' people need to be with 'pretty' people and Lockhart is so pretty.

I had only completed the first two weeks of my ten-month apprenticeship, and I had the most embarrassingly huge crush on Professor Snape.

^ Loved that entire part. I couldn't copy and paste my favorite lines because there were so many and I didn't want to stop because I wanted to know what was going to happen next.

I'm glad that she realizes it now because it is very obvious she has a crush on him but then again I know her thoughts. I feel like she might dial it down though, try to not impress him as much as she has been trying to and therefore she will end up impressing him without actually trying.

I liked the fact that his smile went away quickly and he left soon after because you could have gone the more cliche way where they then continue to discuss the book into the night, skipping lunch and dinner or whatever meal and then having to rush off together for food making them spend a large portion of the day together. I'm kind of amazed because I know you didn't read any fan fiction when you wrote the entire story. I guess this is what happens when you donít know what else is out there. You have managed to steer clear of these cliches I see over and over again.

I was so glad to see some Hagrid! You kept him in character and I liked how you made him someone that she would want to talk to and confide in. Hagrid has always had that warm nature about him that I love. Oh and him not wanting to gossip! Psh! Hagrid always had loose lips.

Author's Response: HI hi hi!! Oh, I'm so excited you're back! I know you were really busy with Camp NaNo, however. How's that going?! No way I could even attempt it this month, but maybe August. When I have a minute from crazy toddler-land, I'm dying to check out your Dudley story because it looks so original. It's been taunting me through the interwebs to come and read for weeks now, but I was really pushing to get my next chapter written in the bits of free time I had when the bug bit me.

Aanyway... I totally should have thought of what you did with Severus being annoyed with the store cupboard thing. I guess maybe I figured he wouldn't have even noticed? I guess he assumed she was so competent, that it would be fine. He'd probably just want to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible with as little interaction with her or checking up on her as possible. But wow, you really do have some interesting analyses there. I'm constantly always doing the same thing.

Ba ha ha...your aunts sound awesome. I guess I didn't get too much of that since my husband and I have been together since we were 17. I mostly got the very annoying, "Are you still with the same boyfriend?" question which always made me mad because we knew we were going to get married. Ugh, some people!

Your Lockhart question is a good one, and I won't answer it right now ;) You'll find out for yourself pretty soon! Lockhart really is just so pretty. He really probably assumes Avrille would want to hook up with him since, like you said, pretty people just go together. But in my mind, Severus is pretty too. At least he would be if he put on some eyeliner and really rocked the goth vibe he's got going on (though he'd probably curse me for suggesting something so inane).

I'm so glad you liked that part at the end!! I really think that's one of my top 5 favorite scenes I wrote in this story. Severus's smile was inspired by a Japanese rock singer I love who always has this really serious, glaring expression in photos. I saw a behind the scenes thing once where he smiled and it was like: O_O. It totally transformed him into just this nice guy. I also loved writing Hagrid. He's one of my favorite characters in the books. He isn't in this story too much anymore, so I think I need to make a better effort to bring him into the sequel. He's like everyone's best BIG brother. It just might be a little tough with him being so busy with Grawp. We'll see.

Thanks so much for your compliments. I really do think it helped not reading any fan fiction before writing this. Yes, it helped me avoid cliches for the most part, but I think I also would have been very intimidated by the level of talent out there. It's always better to write for yourself and not because you're competing with someone, you know? Thanks again! Ugh, SO many more reviews of yours to read! I was supposed to be working on my new chapter but. TOO TEMPTING TO READ THEM! ~Renny

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Review #52, by SiriuslyPeeved Chapter One - Avrille

9th June 2012:
I thoroughly enjoyed this story, I'm going back to leave reviews after having plowed through it unable to put it down ;). I had read it before I had my username and it has been fun to renew my acquaintance with Avrille.

Avrille is such a likable character already; she is able to make a complete fool of herself while still being sympathetic.

I enjoyed your description of a Canadian witch doing the touristy sites in London but forgetting to find the magical ones -- hehe.†
†The initials "R.A.T." for graduate work are so fitting for the Potterverse, I can hear wizarding advanced students moaning about "RATs" in my head. (makes me wish the graduate schools were canon, but what else is fanfiction for?)

"...†but only succeeded in nauseating myself after breathing in the smell of body odour and jacket potatoes that seemed to be as much a part of the train as the seats or handrails."†

"I spotted The Leaky Cauldron a bit down the street. I ran the last few hundred feet to its peeling green door, desperate for a cold, hard Banshee Buster on the rocks."

These two passages of scene setting details are so wonderful, I feel like I'm there. †I may have to swipe your drink name next time any of my characters are in The Leaky Cauldron!

I will try to keep the reviews coming semi regularly till I'm caught up!

Author's Response: OH HI! *glomps* I'm so happy you're reviewing! (though it makes me aware of the shamefully long amount of time it's been since I started "Rowan and Phoenix." DOH, Real Life!)

I thought it was really weird how there's no continuing ed whatsoever in the wizarding world. I mean, seven years of learning how to turn random animals into furniture or whatever? Is that really a skill that's in high demand in the magical job market? I know it's a story and all, but everything else about JKR's world is so intricate and detailed that I had kind of a hard time how their basic economy would work, unless most of the positions are inherited like a shop or you're apprenticed into it. So yes, I thought up wizard college (also cause, honestly, I needed a reason for Avrille to be older than 18 when she starts her apprenticeship cause that's just icky.)

The first description of the tube I have to admit came from my best friend, who spent some time in London and clued me into those details, which I never would have known about on my own. The alcohol part was all mine, though. Haha! Feel free to swipe! I'm constantly wanting to borrow ideas from awesome writers like you as a tribute (I'll let you know if there's anything specific I want to "borrow" so I can get permission and credit you :D)

I'll definitely try to keep up with your reviews as well. I've just been trying really hard to use toddler nap time to finish the next chapters of my two WIP since they haven't been updated i a while. And what do I do? Go and sign up for the review exchange again at TGS ;) Thanks so much for your lovely review, Siri!

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Review #53, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Eight - Severus

31st May 2012:
First I have to say that I love reading your review responses. The little comments you make about your husband and then jabs at Severus/Avrille make me laugh. Ramble on! And don't worry about responding right away. I know my reviews tend to be extremely long sometimes.

However, that annoyance was truly rooted in sheer panic; her perfection was causing my regard for her to grow exponentially each day, leaving me, frankly, terrified.

^ Severus! He never ceases to amaze me. He can compliment her in his head and then he can just as easily try to tear her down. I'll never get over how terrified he is of feelings and I suppose women. I wonder if he has been with other women in the past? I'm sure he 'flung' a few because of 'human nature,' as he had called in a previous chapter.

If there was something about her that I hated, I could wrap myself around it and perhaps bring her down from the pillar in my mind she was occupying to her lowly place as an apprentice whose presence was severely interfering with my quest for the illusive invisibility potion.

^ See. This is what I mean. He compliments her and then tries to reject her or tear her down so she's less than what she is. A very man thing to do. I honestly don't know how he comes up with these theories though. I suppose 'love is blind' or however the saying goes. I feel like if Severus just calmed down momentarily and just accepted his feelings for Avrille he could just get on with his day without worry but he has to be dramatic about it. And they say women are worse then men!

His actions of avoiding her remind me of something teenagers would do in high school or middle school. It really does make me question again if he has had any prior relationships and I don't mean relationships that lasted a month or two. I mean a relationship that lasted at least a year and he was invested in. It seems he has this routine and he's convinced that he doesn't need anyone else. I'm wondering if this goes past his feelings for his parents and past being a Death Eater to someone else that was important in his life 'hurting' him.

the entire female student body of Hogwarts was in the grip of Avrille-fever.

^ That was just too funny. It made me laugh because it was too true. This tends to happen in real life when we see celebrities on magazines. They could be wearing...well...a meat dress and people will rush off to copy their style. I thought it was clever how Severus would be the one to notice the changes in the students. It read like it was suffocating him but then again he has 'Avrille-fever' too so for all we know he could be exaggerating since we only get his point of view on the matter.

Author's Response: Oh good! I'm glad you saw the responses. Sometimes when I respond, I wonder if anyone ever checks back to read them. I always check for responses to my reviews, but some people don't. I'm very lucky in that my husband is incredibly understanding of my Snape-obsession and writing in general. He'd never read this story in a million years, but he's still always rooting for me to work on it, along with original stuff. It's very hard to not make jabs at Severus and Avrille because they've been a part of my life for almost ten years now, so they've become pretty real in my head. I'm always thinking things like, "I wish Severus would make a potion for me!" when I had unbearable "morning" sickness, and there are times I'm dying for Avrille to baby-sit my son and rope him off of the furniture with a magic lasso or something. *sigh*

I find it really interesting that you're the first reviewer EVER to ask me if this version of Severus ever had a relationship before. Answer is yes, because canon-Severus saving himself for Lily is honorable and noble, but my Severus still being a virgin at 33 is just sad. So yes, in my head he had a fling or two in the past. I always imagined he had a brief, non-serious relationship with a hot Italian girl when he was in graduate school, maybe the daughter of the people who own the Roman equivalent of the Three Broomsticks or something where he and his school mates would go and hang out after classes. But as far as actual love, no, I don't think he would have ever felt that way before. Maybe he might have been infatuated with a woman and thought he was in love, but he wasn't really, not like how he falls in love with Avrille. I wanted his relationship with her to be very special. Blame it on my own uber romantic life where I was my husband's first girlfriend ever (we've been together since high school), and he knew he wanted to marry me before we even started dating :)

Severus is ridiculously melodramatic about these things, isn't he? But he has a good reason. You'll see in chapter 20. I really feel bad to this day about what I thought up for his past, but it was the best reason I could think of as to why such a totally awesome guy would still be single at his age (cause Snape is hot and cool and all that. In my mind.)

I'm glad you liked all the silly Avrille-fever stuff. In all honesty, it's one of my least favorite parts of the story. It seemed a bit like filler to me, but that's not to say that I don't think it's realistic as well. I figured these kids are cooped up in school for 5/6ths of the year without access to TV, movies, internet, etc, so they probably would latch on to anything that was slightly different than their boring, British school routine. I think young people especially are always interested in things different from their own culture. I've been obsessed with Japanese culture since high school, and most Japanese kids are obsessed with American culture. Go figure.

I really like the next chapter, so I hope you do as well. It's my first "swoon" moment. :) Thank you for the review! In case you're wondering why I reply so fast, I'm a closet review-stalker. I can't help it. When I'm frustrated with all the day-to-day stay at home mom stuff, taking five seconds to check on my stories is something to look forward to, at least until I'm able to start writing again, next week or so. Yup. That's my life. :D ~Renny

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Review #54, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Seven - Avrille

29th May 2012:
Gilderoy Lockhart had appeared seemingly out of nowhere and now stood between us and the door outside.

^ Oh goodness. I'm not sure if I want to read on. I literally shook my head and said out loud, 'Oh no, not Lockhart,' because he always causes trouble. It astounds me that no one would have caught on that he was a fraud all those years. I mean, how did he act when he was in school? I'm sure if he wasn't capable of doing proper magic after school then he wasn't capable during school.

"Didn't even manage to scrape a Herbology O.W.L. expertise indeed..."

^ Well that answers my question!

I started slightly at his question since I had been strangely mesmerized by the way his thumb had been caressing the twig's smooth bark.

^ There was just something about this line that stood out to me. I really can't say what but hands have never sounded so alluring to me.

Lockhart continues to be one of my favorite aspects about this story. He seems to pop up just about everywhere and is insanely hilarious. I'm surprised anyone actually took him seriously. Actually, I'm surprised that none of the other Professors killed him in his sleep. Imagine him as a ghost? Oh lord.

Severus, Severus, Severus. He treats Avrille like a child with his responses and even though I know the struggle and the way he is feeling I still want to reprimand him. He really needs to learn to mind his manners.

Author's Response: Oh Lockhart, Lockhart, Lockhart. I was the exact same as you, wondering how NO ONE stopped to think, "Um, I went to school with this guy and he was a total moron. HOW did he do all of these things?" Maybe he just Obliviated anyone who commented on it. I imagine Severus probably went to school with Lockhart, though he was most likely several years ahead of the moron, so I'm sure he would have questioned Lockhart's suitability for the post before he even showed up with Avrille. It's just one more nice little nugget of conflict in the background between Severus and Dumbledore that I'm going to take wonderful advantage of later on in the sequel to this story. I think Severus puts up with a lot of Dumbledore's manipulating and errors in judgement since he trusts him so much and considers him almost like a father as well as a mentor, but even he can get pushed too far. Oooh, I'm just so excited to finally be back home so I can write all of this soon! Sorry for the tangent :)

Avrille's probably wishing he was stroking something else...mwa ha ha. Though of course she doesn't actually KNOW that she wants that yet. Severus is still way too scary in her mind. I've always loved men's hands. On the first date I had with my now-husband, I noticed what beautiful hands he had. In the magical world I think hands would have even more of an allure since they are what the magic passes through to exit through a wand. I also think (and am pretty sure there was basis in canon for this) that the most powerful wizards like Dumbledore could probably do some amazing magic with just their hands.

Ack! A ghost Lockhart! That would be even worse than Moaning Myrtle. Lockhart does eventually fade out of the spotlight later on when the focus shifts more to Severus and Avrille actually together, but he does pop up once or twice for some token annoyances. I think later on in the year, Avrille would be much better about knowing how to avoid him.

Severus can just be incredibly rude. I want to smack him as well. He probably wouldn't have been so curt had he known how much Avrille already admired him, but right now all he can think about is keeping her far far away. *sigh* Poor guy.

Thanks for the FOUR new reviews! They were such a joy to read. Hoping with your help I can get this story to over 1,000 which would just be so incredibly COOL. I appreciate so much all the time you're taking to leave me such long ones. I write reviews almost the exact same way you do, looking for little quotes I like and talking about them, so I completely understand how much time you're putting into this. That's why I don't have nearly as high a review post count as I would like. It just takes me so much longer to get through stories since I like to give lots of feedback. So BIG GOLD STAR on your review chart from a very appreciative writer! Take care! ~Renny

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Review #55, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Six - Severus

29th May 2012:
Since I was in the cellar of the castle and therefore submerged, each window was a portal to the great lake.

You made me fall in love with your descriptions all over again. That's a lovely image right there and 'portal' just takes it over the edge. I imagine something more than a window, a journey that is ready to unfold outside his bedchamber.

What did it really matter that Potter had an unfortunate childhood? So did countless others who did not receive special attention from the headmaster. A troubled past was even more of a reason to impart stern guidelines now while the child was in school rather than have him learn later that being weak will not garner sympathy and special treatment from others in the real world.

^ When I read things like this I realize just how much Harry and Severus had in common and then I also realize just how much Severus didn't want Harry to have things in common with him. He pushes him harder than the others because of his hatred towards James but also because Harry could have ended up just like him, I think. If you analyze the situation and really think about it, it could have happened.

I could reason with the idea of being attracted to a woman. After all, attraction to the opposite sex was something ingrained in our very genetic code to guarantee the continuation of the species. But to fall in love? Love was a different matter entirely. Love could be as corrosive as acid, as volatile as nitro-glycerine, more intoxicating as opium and more deadly than the venom of the Inland Taipan. Only fools allowed themselves to become swept up in something so obviously dangerous.

^ There goes his insane logic again. He really seems to become unraveled by the faint thought, and this is only pure thought right now and not action, of actually falling for someone and being open to love. He just doesn't like his life out of order. Severus is very particular about everything. Avrille pretty much equals 'chaos' to him because he doesn't understand love.

I think that's what it boils down too. Sure falling in love with her within a week is ridiculous because he doesn't even know her, it's lust, but I think even that concept worries him. He has to break it down to a scientific aspect to understand it to him because it's such a foreign concept. He uses his work as an escape mechanism from digging into his feelings and accepting them for what they are.

Author's Response: I'm going to skip the polite modesty for a moment and say, yeah. I made Severus have a freaking AWESOME set of rooms. I seriously want to live there myself. It's funny how I'm pretty sure on Pottermore it says that the Slytherin Common Room has windows into the lake as well, but I thought this all up years ago now, so it's cool when my ideas end up matching up with canon.

I think your insights into Severus/Harry/James are spot on and really interesting. Canon Severus had such a complex relationship with Harry because I do believe, like you said, that he half hated the kid because of how he perceived him to be like James but also half wanted to change him since deep down he knows there's some Lily in there as well. My Severus doesn't have quite the emotional baggage with regards to Harry since he wasn't in love with Lily, but I do think that he would have had a struggle wanting to sort of help shape Harry to be a worthy opponent of Voldemort but also have as little to do with the boy as possible.

Oh Severus and his insane logic. But here his logic and analysis is purely a defense mechanism. Like I said in an earlier reply, it's not quite so much that he doesn't understand love but more that he knows, because of something that happened to him when he was younger, he CAN'T fall in love because for him it would be incredibly dangerous. But I love Avrille = Chaos :)

Again, you hit the nail right on its head with the observation that at the moment it's lust and a physical/intellectual attraction of his to Avrille, but deep down he knows that he's on the brink of a very slippery slope downwards where if he doesn't stop imagining "what if's," it's going to be too late and there's no going back. Poor guy. I was really incredibly horrible to him in this story, but I only did it because he's such a strong character, and I knew he could take it and come out even stronger in the end. Thanks as always! ~Renny

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Review #56, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Five - Avrille

29th May 2012:
Three ginger Gryffindor boys, two of them identical twins, waved vigorously at her while she placed the Sorting Hat over her flyaway hair.

You know. I don't think I've ever read about Ginny or Luna's sorting before. I rather enjoyed it. It was a nice change from focusing on Harry and Ron.

This story is such a relaxing read. I can just lay back and read Avrille's thoughts and your descriptions for hours.

I never did give it much thought how Lockhart and his lying ways could have affected Harry or anyone else for that matter. Avrille is quick to judge Harry without ever meeting him because of what Severus says and then what Lockhart says. I suppose she can't read between the lines because she's new and Severus is pretty much her 'idol.' I wonder if she'll change her thoughts on Harry once she meets him and sees that he's really not all that bad.

The best thing about this chapter though was the light you gave the professors. You could have easily focused on Harry or the other students or even just on Severus but you still pay attention to the minor characters that are around Avrille and give them all equal moments to shine. Sure Lockhart likes to outshine everyone else but I thought it was really lovely how you put Sinistra out there and you still managed to squeeze Hagrid into the story again.

Author's Response: In case you can't tell by their complete lack of appearance, I kind of can't stand Harry or Ron. It's probably because I got into the books when I was already an adult myself, so I didn't care as much for the kids as I did the professors and other adults. Now that I'm a mom, I'm also much more interested in the mothers in the series and how they dealt with all of the dangers having kids while Voldemort was in power.

I love it when you pick up on things I did intentionally, like how Avrille's view of Harry is tainted due to her idolization of Severus and prejudice against Lockhart. I really don't think Harry is that bad considering the incredibly hard life he had, and Avrille definitely would come to realize that once she's been around him more. She just has the disadvantage of not being British, so not really even hearing about Harry all that much since his "defeat" of Voldemort wasn't part of her culture growing up, except for the horrible instance of her father's murder in relation to it.

Yup, you noticed like I said how I like to give the adults more "screen time" over the kids. I figure the kids have 7 books about them, let's see what kind of drama the professors have going on behind the scenes ;) Thank you for the review! It's been so fun reading them and is such a nice break from the stress of moving. I'm totally dying to read your reaction to things in upcoming chapters. ~Renny

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Review #57, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Four - Severus

29th May 2012:
I had begun to form a mental picture of the author as a sort of young Minerva McGonagall-type, complete with square spectacles. Never had I imagined that Mistress Asphodel would turn out to be so... well...

Leave it to Severus to compare Avrille in his mind to McGonagall. This just further proves that McGonagall is a fox and now I want to ship Severus/McGonagall.

So self-absorbed that it took an actual collision for me to even notice a beautiful woman, and then not even have the common sense or courtesy to ask her name or introduce myself.

That's actually really interesting because when I think of Severus I think of him being so in love with Lily that he was really more absorbed about her. I know that they were just friends in this story but it makes me question what type of person was Severus then when he was a death eater? What motivated him to join the Order and trust Dumbledore if he wouldn't have been as effected by the death of Lily like he was when he was in love with her. I suppose friendship is a strong bond as well and he could have been torn by her death and made him realize what he was doing was wrong because she was a good person and someone he cared for which would have shook his senses.

Oh wow. I was trying to do a well thought out review but I got lost in the conversations between Severus/Avirlle and then Severus/Lucius. The way you wrote Lucius! He seems like such a slimeball. I always thought he would have been a bit more caring towards his family in private but he just disgusted me in this chapter. I felt a little creeped out by his behavior and to think Avrille blushed by his antics!

Besides the conversations and how you weaved the one with Lucius into canon I thoroughly enjoyed Severus's thoughts. I liked the way he thought about 'love' but gave it a fleeting thought and just pushed it right aside and then the way you connected the concept towards the end with his father since we know how awful he treated him but I can't wait to see more of Severusís internal struggle. I don't think he realizes his feelings have more to do with lust and the fact that he's attracted to her intelligence too. Then again I donít think he wants to feel any of those things, even if it could be fleeting.

Author's Response: McGonagall is a total fox. Severus with a Time Turner shipping a younger McGonagall would be pretty sweet (because otherwise we'd have a weird "Harold and Maude" situation going on, and that's not my cup of tea.) Not that Severus is sexist at all, but I think it would be hard for him to imagine many women could have both beauty and brains, assuming by the time they could get that smart they'd be 70 or whatever Minerva is. That was the only part about Avrille's character I ever worried about, thinking some might consider her a Mary Sue. I personally don't think she is at all, and I based her off of people I know who are actually super gorgeous and brainy (like my best friend). They do exist!

You'll definitely see later more about Severus's motivations for joining the Order back then. In my mind, I made him and Lily have almost a brother/sister relationship, so when he found out Voldemort was trying to find her baby and kill him, it not only made him want to protect Lily, who I imagine was the only actual friend he ever had and someone he would be fiercely protective of, even if they weren't speaking to each other because of the James thing, but it also showed him just how effed up Voldemort was if he was going to kill a new born just because of a stupid prophecy. So that's just a brief summary of his motivations there. But obviously I get more into that later.

Lucius is definitely a complete slimeball in my story, though a gorgeous one. I wrote this chapter before DH came out, so we didn't really have any inkling until that book that Lucius cared about his family at all. So even though we ended up seeing that he did love his wife and son very much, I decided to stick with utter-creep-Lucius because it's much more fun, and he makes a more believable "rival" than Lockhart for Severus over Avrille. And don't worry, Avrille wasn't blushing because she was flattered. She was just more embarrassed and feeling very awkward that this really hot, married guy, who she assumes is a friend of Severus's, was hitting on her right in front of her supervisor.

I had to give Severus different parents in this story since, as you'll see in a later chapter what Severus is referencing here, it was essential to my plot that his father was a wizard. I also assumed when thinking is up before HBP came out that Severus was bound to be a pure-blood, being the head of Slytherin and all. But this father was definitely still very horrible to Severus and his mother growing up. This thing that happened between them is also the direct reason why Severus can't allow himself even the slightest chance of developing serious feelings for Avrille. But since this is a super great romance story, I think you can safely assume he won't do so well with that :) Thanks for the review, and I am really SO HAPPY you like this story so much so far! I always get nervous when new people are reading "my baby" for the first time. ~Renny

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Review #58, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Three - Avrille

28th May 2012:
"Jack-the-Ripper" had actually been Nigra Bodewell, a serial-murdering Dark witch with a serious Muggle-hating problem. After the fifth murder of the Muggle prostitute Mary Kelly, Nigra was finally caught and sentenced to life in Azkaban.

Should I just bow down to you now? Where do you come up with these things?! So clever. So interesting. So original. Can we switch brains?

The sign read, "New Release: Magical Me!"

I really enjoy your subltely here. I was wondering what year this was supposed to be in because the way they speak and the way they think sounds so much 'older' to me. But then I realized that for one they're adults so why shouldn't they speak properly? And for another, the magical community was more reserved and kind of stuck in a different era but by the addition of Lockhart I now know what year this is supposed to be in the world of Harry Potter.

So, would you like the one of me on my broomstick?

^ LOVED that entire part with Lockhart. I couldn't stop giggling and out of context that is quite the dirty question to ask a woman. I think my favorite part is when Avrille mentions his pastel clothing. I don't think I would take a man seriously either if he was dressed head to toe in pastel colors and holding a matching satin bag.

Oh lord. That image is going to give me nightmares.

The air in Hogsmeade was fragrant and sweet like it was wafting toward us from the window of a sweets store.

Well, it's that time again in my review where I mention your lovely descriptions. My mouth watered a little and my stomach rumbled just a bit thanks to that sentence. What are you doing to me?!

I love Avrille. While it's nice to get a glimpse into Severus's thoughts, Avrille's eyes are a breath of fresh air. Severus knows the castle, you know? So when he notices something it's not with an air of fascination. Avrille notices things and is being introduced to them for the first time so it makes Hogwarts sound even more magical than it is.

The interaction with Avrille and Severus was perfect. I like how you used Lockhart as the back drop to what was going on around her and he kept annoyingly popping up. Oh and the way you introduced everyone, from Hagrid to Sprout. I think this is the first story I have ever read where a proper introduction was given for all the Professor's. What a nice change!

Author's Response: Ok! Finally here to respond! I read these reviews last night on my phone, but wasn't able to reply yet since the internet on my apartment wasn't turned back on until today. So sorry for the brief delay.

No need to bow down, though I'll always gladly accept sacrifices of Godiva Chocolates. I just sort of like to add random details in reference to things I'm interested in at the time. For instance, around when I was writing this chapter years and years ago, I was really into the movie "From Hell" with Johnny Depp. I can usually tell approximately when I wrote a chapter through details like that, since I wrote this story completely out of order.

I'm pretty sure that I set this story in the Chamber of Secrets year *specifically* so I could have Lockhart in it. He's just such a ridiculous character and very fun to write. He a complete narcissistic buffoon, but I also gave him a bit of a more adult, seedier edge to him that I personally think is kind of realistic considering how full of himself he is and how quickly he rose to fame. But you'll see what I mean in later chapters :)

Hope you were able to get a tasty treat after I went and made you hungry. Ironically enough, years after I wrote this, my husband is now studying to be a pastry chef. Go figure, huh? You should see the gluttonous amounts of desserts he subjects me to.

I'm really glad you're liking Avrille's POV. I was very careful in this story to never really simply re-tell a canon event (like some people were disappointed I didn't have Severus describe the Dueling Club later, but I figured we already read about it in canon, so it would be superfluous to go into it again, no matter how awesome Severus is making Lockhart crash into the wall...) Having an OC is definitely a great way to add a new dimension to one of the shorter, less complex books. I think that was the other reason I did CoS. It was a lot easier to insert someone into this plot as opposed to OotP (which I'm now doing in the sequel, but it's easier since I already have a good base of my own to work with.)

So thanks for the review! Hope you don't mind reading my very long replies. I tend to ramble anyway, and when super nice readers like you give long reviews, I feel they deserve equally long replies. Thanks so much and I'm going to try to get one or two more replies in before I REALLY need to start unpacking :) ~Renny

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Review #59, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Two - Severus

28th May 2012:
The afternoon sunlight shone through the western windows brilliantly, bringing my thoughts back to the situation at hand as it reflected sparkling rays off of the numerous Dark detectors and other instruments the headmaster had on display around the room.

^ I swoon at your description. Your writing just doesn't disappoint. When I read 'shone through the western windows brilliantly' I had to squint my eyes because I was sure sun was going to start shining through my windows.

Of course it's almost nine at night where I am but your writing seems to jump to life in my bedroom.

"--Turn her house inside out?!" I exclaimed. "What exactly does that mean?"

Loved this reaction. Severus's thoughts are so interesting. They're very collected. He tends to analyze everything, the room, the people, the files that he's given and this moment seemed to me that he lost 'himself' for a second because he was genuinely shocked, shows that he does have some weaknesses.

Oh! And I love your Dumbledore. You write his playfulness in so well and this was also a time where the danger wasnít at an extreme high so he has a little extra spark inside of him that I love.

Uncontrollably an image of Neville Longbottom with pigtails popped into my mind.

^ Oh Severus, you silly man!

Avrille sounds like quite the witch. I wonder if it was just her father's death that affected her because it sounds like Dumbledore was alluding to something else, maybe something that isn't known by any of them or Avrille herself because she doesn't think about that 'time.' It'll be interesting to see if Severus could uncover it or help her restore the power that she had. Is it possible she suppresses some of her magic, for the sole reason that she wouldn't want anyone to come after her again? I donít have a few theories but nothing concrete yet.

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! I get so happy when I read reviews like yours because you hit so many nails on the head with what I was trying to portray that it really lets me know that I accomplished what I was going for. Severus is definitely incredibly analytical and very reserved. Maybe more reserved with his speech than his thoughts, since I think he's so focused on always portraying the correct image to whoever he's talking to with his history of being a spy. Sometimes he has little things like that slip out when he is truly taken by surprise (or taken with a lady, but you'll see of course :D)

"maybe something that isn't known by any of them or Avrille herself because she doesn't think about that 'time.'" You're VERY close with those thoughts! Of course it will take a long time for any of them to figure out what's going on, but rest assured they do in the end. I never thought about your theory of suppressing her powers to protect herself from another attack. That's incredibly interesting... but not the reason ;) I think that probably wouldn't have worked because at the time her father died, she didn't know it was because those men were trying to get at her. She probably found that out when she was older. But it's still a great thought you had! The only thing I didn't address in this story is why she had such strong powers to begin with (because I was incredibly lame at the time and couldn't think of a good reason...) but that's something I'll be answering in the sequel.

Thank you again a bajillion times over for your reviews, D.D.D.D.C. :) I'm all nervous now hoping you'll like the rest of it. Take care! ~Renny

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Review #60, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter One - Avrille

28th May 2012:
I'm so excited to start reading this story! Granted, it might take me awhile to read all thirty-nine chapters but I have been on such a Severus kick lately I can't wait to see what you have in store with him.

Remedial Arts Thesis (R.A.T.)

^ This is really clever. I used to read a lot of Snape stories and they would sometimes bring in an apprentice of some sort into the story but the thing about those stories was the author never gave any detail about why the woman was being Severus's apprentice or what she really even did beforehand. So I really like the originality there.

Once or twice his eyes darted to my Muggle jeans and pink hooded sweatshirt, quite different from his elegant robes of deep charcoal with black top-stitching.

^ The way you describe things astounds me. From the moment they collide it's like this overload of information but it's not an overload in a sense that's it's too much, it's more than enough where I'm actually seeing everything being played out on my computer screen, instead of just reading about it (if that makes sense).

Oh God, let me die now.

^ I can't stop giggling. I knew from the descriptions that it was Severus but because she didn't know it was him...well...that's really embarrassing actually. I know how red I would be if I was going to a lecture in school and bumped into one of my Professor's like that I would be embarrassed.

Your OC is wonderful. I don't even know her name yet, I don't think you mentioned it and I'm at the part where she's debating the pros and cons of asking a question inside her head. Her thoughts her highly hilarious and yet normal at the same time. She seems like a regular person which is a great sigh of relief.

Oh no! I'm at the end already. I really enjoyed this first chapter. Your writing is just so easy to read because it's incredibly clear but at the same time it's imaginative. I already find myself attached to Avrille. I love how 'high class' she seems but everyone else too, well, Snape really since we weren't introduced to too many people. I like the way you have him carry himself. He sounds like a strong and intelligent man (I was about to say durable but that just sounds like he's Bounty) and important. A lot of stories like to paint him as cruel and weak even though that's just not his character.

Author's Response: Oh, hi!! You have no idea how much I needed these reviews. Been spending all day packing for a move back home, so this was an incredibly nice surprise. Thanks so much!

Your compliments are all so nice. I guess some of it might seem original since I didn't read ANY HPFF before my story was 100% done. So everything I really did have to think up on my own. But now it's cool to read what other people have done and get help with my own writing. The sense of community on this site and TGS is just so wonderful. Avrille definitely has some backstory as to why she's apprenticing. She actually seems to have spent a crazy amount of time in graduate school, but I needed to think up something to take up those years since I didn't want her to be really young since Severus is already I think 33 in this story.

I'm so glad nothing that embarrassing has ever happened to me. It would be like knocking over my favorite author who I was about to be mentored by for a year or something. Utter mortification.

Yay, I'm so happy you like Avrille so far! I attempted to write her as sounding intelligent, but not stuffy like Severus is. I figured she had to be smart or else he wouldn't be interested in her, but I still wanted her to be a bit fun and irreverent to shake him up a bit. And I know you said Bounty, but for some reason it made me think of Brawny, and now I have thoughts of Severus as the Brawny man in my head. I don't know if that's hot or disturbing. I hope you like how I did his characterization since it differs slightly from canon (but hopefully is still believable. Think of it as how canon Snape would be with a slightly different set of circumstances growing up since I didn't know about his whole loving Lily thing and having a Muggle dad when I wrote this.) Thanks again so so so much for the review. I won't be so horribly selfish and spoiled to expect such long, detailed, amazing reviews on every chapter, but if you insist on leaving me a few here or there, I certainly won't object :) I always try to repay the favor as well! Give me a couple weeks, and I'll be settled back at home with much more time for writing and reviewing. Thanks again so much. Have an awesome night!

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Review #61, by apocalypse Epilogue - Avrille

7th May 2012:
Beware, this review is gonna have a lot of capitals. =P


Ahem. Okay. HI! I'm apocalypse! =) I actually created my account on this site only last year but I read this story THREE YEARS AGO. And I STILL remembered everything that has happened in it! I don't think I gave you a review back then but right now, I really wanted to tell about how long I have been following you and this story!

It's been three years since I read this and now when i came back and read it again, it was like I hadn't ever taken a break from it. I've already read this story about 4 times before and even now, it never gets old! It's BRILLIANT! And i'm being a very incoherent reviewer right now but I'm just SO excited to have finally found this story after so many days of research that I can't control it!

I think a lot of people might have already told you how much they love this story and how big fans they are of yours but I still want to tell you THAT I AM YOUR BIGGEST HUGEST FAN EVER! And only because of this story!

Now onto the story's review. As you already know how much I loved it I'll tell you why. =) It's the most beautifully executed story; it makes me believe that something like this did happen during Harry's school year and that Avrille had actually been Snape's apprentice. It makes me believe in true love and friendship and honesty. I suppose, this is the story that changed my opinion about Snape. After reading this, I was convinced that Snape could never be so bad as to hurt so many people. It made me see the good in him.

You've done a wonderful job with the ideas you've had for the story! I really liked how you've made Avrille weak in her powers but given her so much still and how Snape had issues with his father. When he goes to visit his father's grave, THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST SCENES EVER!

There have been moments in this story when I've cried, laughed, gotten angry, felt frustrated, ridiculous; it just holds so many memories of mine that it's part of my life and will always will be. Even after three years, I still feel for it and would ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVE THIS!

I'm SO glad you've updated the sequel! I'll be taking a look at it and would be reviewing that too! =D I'm currently posting a review on the last chapter of the story but if I feel like reading and reviewing this story again, I might come back a few times and give reviews on random chapters. That's me. =)

I'm sorry I didn't review this story before. But I promise to follow the sequel! I love you and Snape and Avrille! =D

~Recenseo '12

Author's Response: Well, I don't even know where to begin replying to this review. I'm probably still blushing. I guess let me ask, how does it feel to have made someone's MONTH? :D Cause really, that's what you just did. This review was so completely unexpected, and I can't put into words how appreciated it is. As you probably know, I finished writing this story close to FIVE years ago now (wow! time flies!), so to know that there are still people who are enjoying it and keep coming back to re-read it is incredibly humbling. I really only wrote the story for myself, to create something that I would want to read since I wasn't happy with what a horrible life Snape ended up having in the books, so having really wonderful people like you tell me that you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it is just...brilliant! :)

I'm so happy the story changed your opinion about Snape. When I started writing it, the "Half-Blood Prince" book hadn't even come out yet, so we really didn't have much of an inkling either way about his true loyalties. I just thought he was so incredibly brave to be doing all that spying for the Order and figured there was no way someone who was truly working for Voldemort would do all the things he did (I decided he must be loyal to Dumbledore after reading HBP and remembering how he had sent Order members to the Ministry after Harry. There's no way he would have bothered if he was "evil." I'm really looking forward SO much to touching on all the stuff in the sequel. JKR gave us fan fic writers so much fun stuff to play around with.)

I hope you enjoy the sequel. Reviews so far seem to be overwhelmingly positive, so I guess I'm doing something right ;) It won't be so focused on the romance aspect, but with more of a focus on family and (without giving *too* much away...) Avrille questioning the realization she came to in the first book that it's impossible to change the future. I'm expecting this story to be around the same length as TDoON, though the epilogue might end up being a stand-alone novella because I'm going to want to wrap up the plot all the way through Voldemort's defeat without making a trilogy.

Sorry, I'm probably rambling! Reviews on random chapters are always appreciated ;) but really, you've already given me so much with this one. I am very curious to know what you think about the new material, so if you don't mind taking a second once you read it, please drop me a line. The cool thing about posting a WIP is the feedback I get from readers while I'm doing it.

Thanks again just so much, a million times over for your incredibly kind review. If you have any questions about this story or the sequel, I have a Meet the Author thread on the forums (and also a BADLY updated blog...haha. I really need to get on updating that...) I also never mind a private message since I LOVE meeting new Harry Potter writing friends. Have an awesome week, thanks so much again, and hope you enjoy Severus's and Avrille's new story! ~Renny

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Review #62, by TheFalk Epilogue - Avrille

18th April 2012:
Can't wait to read the sequel!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! At least you didn't have to wait four years in between the two like the first readers on HPFF did :( I hope you enjoy the sequel just as much. Thanks again for all your reviews! ~Renny

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Review #63, by TheFalk Chapter Twenty-Eight - Severus

18th April 2012:
ah! that was the most intense chapter yet!

Author's Response: Thanks! I find it really funny how almost everyone who reviews this chapter uses the word "intense" to describe it. :) What can I say, it's one of my favorites. ~Renny

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Review #64, by Beth Epilogue - Avrille

18th April 2012:
beautiful!!! first story like this and i adored it, thank you so much.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Thank yo for taking a moment to leave a review and let me know. It really means a lot. Hope you like what I've started of the sequel, if you decide to continue. :D ~Renny

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Review #65, by TheFalk Chapter Twenty-One - Avrille

17th April 2012:
FINALLY! This was an amazing chapter!!!

Author's Response: Yeah, that's usually the one that people like a lot ;) Along with chapter 28. Heh heh. I know I dragged it out a bit, but it was worth it, don't you think? Thank you for the review! ~Renny

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Review #66, by TheFalk Chapter Eleven - Avrille

17th April 2012:
You're an amazing writer!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Um...what can I say...I just do it for fun and write what *I* would like to read :D

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Review #67, by TheFalk Chapter Five - Avrille

17th April 2012:
great job!!
I love it! (:

Author's Response: Thanks! There's still plenty more to go ;) Thanks a million for the reviews! You're the best! ~Renny

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Review #68, by TheFalk Chapter Four - Severus

16th April 2012:
awesome chapter!!!
Can't wait to read what happens!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I'm getting quite spoiled here with these reviews every chapter. I can tell you're a writer yourself, since you must know how much I appreciate it ;) ~Renny

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Review #69, by TheFalk Chapter Three - Avrille

16th April 2012:
awesome job! I love all the details you have put in!

Author's Response: Thank you! I did work really hard to make it as detailed as possible. I know I always appreciate stories that add a bit more than just what was in canon :) Thanks for all the reviews so far! ~Renny

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Review #70, by TheFalk Chapter Two - Severus

16th April 2012:
well done! can't wait to read chapter 3!

Author's Response: Alright! Two good reviews in a row. I must have been doing something right ;) Thank you!

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Review #71, by TheFalk Chapter One - Avrille

16th April 2012:
I really enjoyed this chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it!

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Review #72, by rose18 Epilogue - Avrille

9th March 2012:
I enjoyed this story so much! Avrille is marvelous and Snape is as well- I keep looking for stories in which he finds a happy ending and this is one of the best I have read. You made it fit in beautifully as well with CoS. I am looking forward to your sequel!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) Fan fiction is so great since you can make happy endings where there weren't any originally. I'm so happy you liked it! Chapter one of the sequel is up, with a few more on the way until I can get some time to write more. Your review is super appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to leave it! ~Renny

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Review #73, by Someone ;) Chapter Twenty-Eight - Severus

6th March 2012:
I love this story! It is amazing :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm super happy you like it ;) Please let me know what you think when you're done reading (and FYI, I'm slowly working on posting the first part of the sequel :D) Thanks again! ~Renny

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Review #74, by Holly Epilogue - Avrille

29th February 2012:
I absolutely loved the story, especially how they actually ended up staying together in this one when she becomes an expectant mother, as many I have read on a different site makes the couple break up, or with Severus being completely against the child, a complete jerk, or something of the likes. Thank you for writing this.

Author's Response: That's so incredibly sad. I think even canon Severus would have had a great potential to be a wonderful father if he had ended up with Lily. Yes, sometimes people with horrible or abusive fathers become abusers themselves, but they can also use that as an example of how *not* to parent (like I had Avrille say) and become stronger because of it. It was very important to me that Severus be given a second chance at having a happy family, and it wasn't an arbitrary decision to make him end up having a son himself. Thank you so much for reading and leaving me a review. In case you're curious, the first chapter of my sequel is currently in the queue waiting to be validated. Family and the specific roles of motherhood and fatherhood will play an enormous role in it. Blame my own having a baby for the fixation. Hey, write what you know, right?

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Review #75, by smexy awesome person Epilogue - Avrille

27th February 2012:
your book is awesome i love it you portrayed severus really well and i am really curious to know whats gonna happen when the dark lord comes WRITE A SEQUEL PLEASE YOURE AWESOME XD

Author's Response: Thanks a million! And your name totally cracked me up :) Sequel's on the way, I promise! I have the first four chapters almost completely done. I'm working hard on making the first chapter fit for posting and *should* actually have it up in a few days (assuming my toddler gives me a few uninterrupted hours to finish polishing it up.) Thank you so much for review, and I hope you enjoy what's on the way! ~Renny

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