Reading Reviews for The Dream of One Night
  
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Review #26, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Six - Severus

29th May 2012:
Since I was in the cellar of the castle and therefore submerged, each window was a portal to the great lake.

You made me fall in love with your descriptions all over again. That's a lovely image right there and 'portal' just takes it over the edge. I imagine something more than a window, a journey that is ready to unfold outside his bedchamber.

What did it really matter that Potter had an unfortunate childhood? So did countless others who did not receive special attention from the headmaster. A troubled past was even more of a reason to impart stern guidelines now while the child was in school rather than have him learn later that being weak will not garner sympathy and special treatment from others in the real world.

^ When I read things like this I realize just how much Harry and Severus had in common and then I also realize just how much Severus didn't want Harry to have things in common with him. He pushes him harder than the others because of his hatred towards James but also because Harry could have ended up just like him, I think. If you analyze the situation and really think about it, it could have happened.

I could reason with the idea of being attracted to a woman. After all, attraction to the opposite sex was something ingrained in our very genetic code to guarantee the continuation of the species. But to fall in love? Love was a different matter entirely. Love could be as corrosive as acid, as volatile as nitro-glycerine, more intoxicating as opium and more deadly than the venom of the Inland Taipan. Only fools allowed themselves to become swept up in something so obviously dangerous.

^ There goes his insane logic again. He really seems to become unraveled by the faint thought, and this is only pure thought right now and not action, of actually falling for someone and being open to love. He just doesn't like his life out of order. Severus is very particular about everything. Avrille pretty much equals 'chaos' to him because he doesn't understand love.

I think that's what it boils down too. Sure falling in love with her within a week is ridiculous because he doesn't even know her, it's lust, but I think even that concept worries him. He has to break it down to a scientific aspect to understand it to him because it's such a foreign concept. He uses his work as an escape mechanism from digging into his feelings and accepting them for what they are.

Author's Response: I'm going to skip the polite modesty for a moment and say, yeah. I made Severus have a freaking AWESOME set of rooms. I seriously want to live there myself. It's funny how I'm pretty sure on Pottermore it says that the Slytherin Common Room has windows into the lake as well, but I thought this all up years ago now, so it's cool when my ideas end up matching up with canon.

I think your insights into Severus/Harry/James are spot on and really interesting. Canon Severus had such a complex relationship with Harry because I do believe, like you said, that he half hated the kid because of how he perceived him to be like James but also half wanted to change him since deep down he knows there's some Lily in there as well. My Severus doesn't have quite the emotional baggage with regards to Harry since he wasn't in love with Lily, but I do think that he would have had a struggle wanting to sort of help shape Harry to be a worthy opponent of Voldemort but also have as little to do with the boy as possible.

Oh Severus and his insane logic. But here his logic and analysis is purely a defense mechanism. Like I said in an earlier reply, it's not quite so much that he doesn't understand love but more that he knows, because of something that happened to him when he was younger, he CAN'T fall in love because for him it would be incredibly dangerous. But I love Avrille = Chaos :)

Again, you hit the nail right on its head with the observation that at the moment it's lust and a physical/intellectual attraction of his to Avrille, but deep down he knows that he's on the brink of a very slippery slope downwards where if he doesn't stop imagining "what if's," it's going to be too late and there's no going back. Poor guy. I was really incredibly horrible to him in this story, but I only did it because he's such a strong character, and I knew he could take it and come out even stronger in the end. Thanks as always! ~Renny


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Review #27, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Five - Avrille

29th May 2012:
Three ginger Gryffindor boys, two of them identical twins, waved vigorously at her while she placed the Sorting Hat over her flyaway hair.

You know. I don't think I've ever read about Ginny or Luna's sorting before. I rather enjoyed it. It was a nice change from focusing on Harry and Ron.

This story is such a relaxing read. I can just lay back and read Avrille's thoughts and your descriptions for hours.

I never did give it much thought how Lockhart and his lying ways could have affected Harry or anyone else for that matter. Avrille is quick to judge Harry without ever meeting him because of what Severus says and then what Lockhart says. I suppose she can't read between the lines because she's new and Severus is pretty much her 'idol.' I wonder if she'll change her thoughts on Harry once she meets him and sees that he's really not all that bad.

The best thing about this chapter though was the light you gave the professors. You could have easily focused on Harry or the other students or even just on Severus but you still pay attention to the minor characters that are around Avrille and give them all equal moments to shine. Sure Lockhart likes to outshine everyone else but I thought it was really lovely how you put Sinistra out there and you still managed to squeeze Hagrid into the story again.

Author's Response: In case you can't tell by their complete lack of appearance, I kind of can't stand Harry or Ron. It's probably because I got into the books when I was already an adult myself, so I didn't care as much for the kids as I did the professors and other adults. Now that I'm a mom, I'm also much more interested in the mothers in the series and how they dealt with all of the dangers having kids while Voldemort was in power.

I love it when you pick up on things I did intentionally, like how Avrille's view of Harry is tainted due to her idolization of Severus and prejudice against Lockhart. I really don't think Harry is that bad considering the incredibly hard life he had, and Avrille definitely would come to realize that once she's been around him more. She just has the disadvantage of not being British, so not really even hearing about Harry all that much since his "defeat" of Voldemort wasn't part of her culture growing up, except for the horrible instance of her father's murder in relation to it.

Yup, you noticed like I said how I like to give the adults more "screen time" over the kids. I figure the kids have 7 books about them, let's see what kind of drama the professors have going on behind the scenes ;) Thank you for the review! It's been so fun reading them and is such a nice break from the stress of moving. I'm totally dying to read your reaction to things in upcoming chapters. ~Renny


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Review #28, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Four - Severus

29th May 2012:
I had begun to form a mental picture of the author as a sort of young Minerva McGonagall-type, complete with square spectacles. Never had I imagined that Mistress Asphodel would turn out to be so... well...

Leave it to Severus to compare Avrille in his mind to McGonagall. This just further proves that McGonagall is a fox and now I want to ship Severus/McGonagall.

So self-absorbed that it took an actual collision for me to even notice a beautiful woman, and then not even have the common sense or courtesy to ask her name or introduce myself.

That's actually really interesting because when I think of Severus I think of him being so in love with Lily that he was really more absorbed about her. I know that they were just friends in this story but it makes me question what type of person was Severus then when he was a death eater? What motivated him to join the Order and trust Dumbledore if he wouldn't have been as effected by the death of Lily like he was when he was in love with her. I suppose friendship is a strong bond as well and he could have been torn by her death and made him realize what he was doing was wrong because she was a good person and someone he cared for which would have shook his senses.

Oh wow. I was trying to do a well thought out review but I got lost in the conversations between Severus/Avirlle and then Severus/Lucius. The way you wrote Lucius! He seems like such a slimeball. I always thought he would have been a bit more caring towards his family in private but he just disgusted me in this chapter. I felt a little creeped out by his behavior and to think Avrille blushed by his antics!

Besides the conversations and how you weaved the one with Lucius into canon I thoroughly enjoyed Severus's thoughts. I liked the way he thought about 'love' but gave it a fleeting thought and just pushed it right aside and then the way you connected the concept towards the end with his father since we know how awful he treated him but I can't wait to see more of Severusís internal struggle. I don't think he realizes his feelings have more to do with lust and the fact that he's attracted to her intelligence too. Then again I donít think he wants to feel any of those things, even if it could be fleeting.

Author's Response: McGonagall is a total fox. Severus with a Time Turner shipping a younger McGonagall would be pretty sweet (because otherwise we'd have a weird "Harold and Maude" situation going on, and that's not my cup of tea.) Not that Severus is sexist at all, but I think it would be hard for him to imagine many women could have both beauty and brains, assuming by the time they could get that smart they'd be 70 or whatever Minerva is. That was the only part about Avrille's character I ever worried about, thinking some might consider her a Mary Sue. I personally don't think she is at all, and I based her off of people I know who are actually super gorgeous and brainy (like my best friend). They do exist!

You'll definitely see later more about Severus's motivations for joining the Order back then. In my mind, I made him and Lily have almost a brother/sister relationship, so when he found out Voldemort was trying to find her baby and kill him, it not only made him want to protect Lily, who I imagine was the only actual friend he ever had and someone he would be fiercely protective of, even if they weren't speaking to each other because of the James thing, but it also showed him just how effed up Voldemort was if he was going to kill a new born just because of a stupid prophecy. So that's just a brief summary of his motivations there. But obviously I get more into that later.

Lucius is definitely a complete slimeball in my story, though a gorgeous one. I wrote this chapter before DH came out, so we didn't really have any inkling until that book that Lucius cared about his family at all. So even though we ended up seeing that he did love his wife and son very much, I decided to stick with utter-creep-Lucius because it's much more fun, and he makes a more believable "rival" than Lockhart for Severus over Avrille. And don't worry, Avrille wasn't blushing because she was flattered. She was just more embarrassed and feeling very awkward that this really hot, married guy, who she assumes is a friend of Severus's, was hitting on her right in front of her supervisor.

I had to give Severus different parents in this story since, as you'll see in a later chapter what Severus is referencing here, it was essential to my plot that his father was a wizard. I also assumed when thinking is up before HBP came out that Severus was bound to be a pure-blood, being the head of Slytherin and all. But this father was definitely still very horrible to Severus and his mother growing up. This thing that happened between them is also the direct reason why Severus can't allow himself even the slightest chance of developing serious feelings for Avrille. But since this is a super great romance story, I think you can safely assume he won't do so well with that :) Thanks for the review, and I am really SO HAPPY you like this story so much so far! I always get nervous when new people are reading "my baby" for the first time. ~Renny


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Review #29, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Three - Avrille

28th May 2012:
"Jack-the-Ripper" had actually been Nigra Bodewell, a serial-murdering Dark witch with a serious Muggle-hating problem. After the fifth murder of the Muggle prostitute Mary Kelly, Nigra was finally caught and sentenced to life in Azkaban.

Should I just bow down to you now? Where do you come up with these things?! So clever. So interesting. So original. Can we switch brains?

The sign read, "New Release: Magical Me!"

I really enjoy your subltely here. I was wondering what year this was supposed to be in because the way they speak and the way they think sounds so much 'older' to me. But then I realized that for one they're adults so why shouldn't they speak properly? And for another, the magical community was more reserved and kind of stuck in a different era but by the addition of Lockhart I now know what year this is supposed to be in the world of Harry Potter.

So, would you like the one of me on my broomstick?

^ LOVED that entire part with Lockhart. I couldn't stop giggling and out of context that is quite the dirty question to ask a woman. I think my favorite part is when Avrille mentions his pastel clothing. I don't think I would take a man seriously either if he was dressed head to toe in pastel colors and holding a matching satin bag.

Oh lord. That image is going to give me nightmares.

The air in Hogsmeade was fragrant and sweet like it was wafting toward us from the window of a sweets store.

Well, it's that time again in my review where I mention your lovely descriptions. My mouth watered a little and my stomach rumbled just a bit thanks to that sentence. What are you doing to me?!

I love Avrille. While it's nice to get a glimpse into Severus's thoughts, Avrille's eyes are a breath of fresh air. Severus knows the castle, you know? So when he notices something it's not with an air of fascination. Avrille notices things and is being introduced to them for the first time so it makes Hogwarts sound even more magical than it is.

The interaction with Avrille and Severus was perfect. I like how you used Lockhart as the back drop to what was going on around her and he kept annoyingly popping up. Oh and the way you introduced everyone, from Hagrid to Sprout. I think this is the first story I have ever read where a proper introduction was given for all the Professor's. What a nice change!

Author's Response: Ok! Finally here to respond! I read these reviews last night on my phone, but wasn't able to reply yet since the internet on my apartment wasn't turned back on until today. So sorry for the brief delay.

No need to bow down, though I'll always gladly accept sacrifices of Godiva Chocolates. I just sort of like to add random details in reference to things I'm interested in at the time. For instance, around when I was writing this chapter years and years ago, I was really into the movie "From Hell" with Johnny Depp. I can usually tell approximately when I wrote a chapter through details like that, since I wrote this story completely out of order.

I'm pretty sure that I set this story in the Chamber of Secrets year *specifically* so I could have Lockhart in it. He's just such a ridiculous character and very fun to write. He a complete narcissistic buffoon, but I also gave him a bit of a more adult, seedier edge to him that I personally think is kind of realistic considering how full of himself he is and how quickly he rose to fame. But you'll see what I mean in later chapters :)

Hope you were able to get a tasty treat after I went and made you hungry. Ironically enough, years after I wrote this, my husband is now studying to be a pastry chef. Go figure, huh? You should see the gluttonous amounts of desserts he subjects me to.

I'm really glad you're liking Avrille's POV. I was very careful in this story to never really simply re-tell a canon event (like some people were disappointed I didn't have Severus describe the Dueling Club later, but I figured we already read about it in canon, so it would be superfluous to go into it again, no matter how awesome Severus is making Lockhart crash into the wall...) Having an OC is definitely a great way to add a new dimension to one of the shorter, less complex books. I think that was the other reason I did CoS. It was a lot easier to insert someone into this plot as opposed to OotP (which I'm now doing in the sequel, but it's easier since I already have a good base of my own to work with.)

So thanks for the review! Hope you don't mind reading my very long replies. I tend to ramble anyway, and when super nice readers like you give long reviews, I feel they deserve equally long replies. Thanks so much and I'm going to try to get one or two more replies in before I REALLY need to start unpacking :) ~Renny


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Review #30, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter Two - Severus

28th May 2012:
The afternoon sunlight shone through the western windows brilliantly, bringing my thoughts back to the situation at hand as it reflected sparkling rays off of the numerous Dark detectors and other instruments the headmaster had on display around the room.

^ I swoon at your description. Your writing just doesn't disappoint. When I read 'shone through the western windows brilliantly' I had to squint my eyes because I was sure sun was going to start shining through my windows.

Of course it's almost nine at night where I am but your writing seems to jump to life in my bedroom.

"--Turn her house inside out?!" I exclaimed. "What exactly does that mean?"

Loved this reaction. Severus's thoughts are so interesting. They're very collected. He tends to analyze everything, the room, the people, the files that he's given and this moment seemed to me that he lost 'himself' for a second because he was genuinely shocked, shows that he does have some weaknesses.

Oh! And I love your Dumbledore. You write his playfulness in so well and this was also a time where the danger wasnít at an extreme high so he has a little extra spark inside of him that I love.

Uncontrollably an image of Neville Longbottom with pigtails popped into my mind.

^ Oh Severus, you silly man!

Avrille sounds like quite the witch. I wonder if it was just her father's death that affected her because it sounds like Dumbledore was alluding to something else, maybe something that isn't known by any of them or Avrille herself because she doesn't think about that 'time.' It'll be interesting to see if Severus could uncover it or help her restore the power that she had. Is it possible she suppresses some of her magic, for the sole reason that she wouldn't want anyone to come after her again? I donít know...hm...I have a few theories but nothing concrete yet.

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! I get so happy when I read reviews like yours because you hit so many nails on the head with what I was trying to portray that it really lets me know that I accomplished what I was going for. Severus is definitely incredibly analytical and very reserved. Maybe more reserved with his speech than his thoughts, since I think he's so focused on always portraying the correct image to whoever he's talking to with his history of being a spy. Sometimes he has little things like that slip out when he is truly taken by surprise (or taken with a lady, but you'll see of course :D)

"maybe something that isn't known by any of them or Avrille herself because she doesn't think about that 'time.'" You're VERY close with those thoughts! Of course it will take a long time for any of them to figure out what's going on, but rest assured they do in the end. I never thought about your theory of suppressing her powers to protect herself from another attack. That's incredibly interesting... but not the reason ;) I think that probably wouldn't have worked because at the time her father died, she didn't know it was because those men were trying to get at her. She probably found that out when she was older. But it's still a great thought you had! The only thing I didn't address in this story is why she had such strong powers to begin with (because I was incredibly lame at the time and couldn't think of a good reason...) but that's something I'll be answering in the sequel.

Thank you again a bajillion times over for your reviews, D.D.D.D.C. :) I'm all nervous now hoping you'll like the rest of it. Take care! ~Renny


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Review #31, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Chapter One - Avrille

28th May 2012:
I'm so excited to start reading this story! Granted, it might take me awhile to read all thirty-nine chapters but I have been on such a Severus kick lately I can't wait to see what you have in store with him.

Remedial Arts Thesis (R.A.T.)

^ This is really clever. I used to read a lot of Snape stories and they would sometimes bring in an apprentice of some sort into the story but the thing about those stories was the author never gave any detail about why the woman was being Severus's apprentice or what she really even did beforehand. So I really like the originality there.

Once or twice his eyes darted to my Muggle jeans and pink hooded sweatshirt, quite different from his elegant robes of deep charcoal with black top-stitching.

^ The way you describe things astounds me. From the moment they collide it's like this overload of information but it's not an overload in a sense that's it's too much, it's more than enough where I'm actually seeing everything being played out on my computer screen, instead of just reading about it (if that makes sense).

Oh God, let me die now.

^ I can't stop giggling. I knew from the descriptions that it was Severus but because she didn't know it was him...well...that's really embarrassing actually. I know how red I would be if I was going to a lecture in school and bumped into one of my Professor's like that I would be embarrassed.

Your OC is wonderful. I don't even know her name yet, I don't think you mentioned it and I'm at the part where she's debating the pros and cons of asking a question inside her head. Her thoughts her highly hilarious and yet normal at the same time. She seems like a regular person which is a great sigh of relief.

Oh no! I'm at the end already. I really enjoyed this first chapter. Your writing is just so easy to read because it's incredibly clear but at the same time it's imaginative. I already find myself attached to Avrille. I love how 'high class' she seems but everyone else too, well, Snape really since we weren't introduced to too many people. I like the way you have him carry himself. He sounds like a strong and intelligent man (I was about to say durable but that just sounds like he's Bounty) and important. A lot of stories like to paint him as cruel and weak even though that's just not his character.

Author's Response: Oh, hi!! You have no idea how much I needed these reviews. Been spending all day packing for a move back home, so this was an incredibly nice surprise. Thanks so much!

Your compliments are all so nice. I guess some of it might seem original since I didn't read ANY HPFF before my story was 100% done. So everything I really did have to think up on my own. But now it's cool to read what other people have done and get help with my own writing. The sense of community on this site and TGS is just so wonderful. Avrille definitely has some backstory as to why she's apprenticing. She actually seems to have spent a crazy amount of time in graduate school, but I needed to think up something to take up those years since I didn't want her to be really young since Severus is already I think 33 in this story.

I'm so glad nothing that embarrassing has ever happened to me. It would be like knocking over my favorite author who I was about to be mentored by for a year or something. Utter mortification.

Yay, I'm so happy you like Avrille so far! I attempted to write her as sounding intelligent, but not stuffy like Severus is. I figured she had to be smart or else he wouldn't be interested in her, but I still wanted her to be a bit fun and irreverent to shake him up a bit. And I know you said Bounty, but for some reason it made me think of Brawny, and now I have thoughts of Severus as the Brawny man in my head. I don't know if that's hot or disturbing. I hope you like how I did his characterization since it differs slightly from canon (but hopefully is still believable. Think of it as how canon Snape would be with a slightly different set of circumstances growing up since I didn't know about his whole loving Lily thing and having a Muggle dad when I wrote this.) Thanks again so so so much for the review. I won't be so horribly selfish and spoiled to expect such long, detailed, amazing reviews on every chapter, but if you insist on leaving me a few here or there, I certainly won't object :) I always try to repay the favor as well! Give me a couple weeks, and I'll be settled back at home with much more time for writing and reviewing. Thanks again so much. Have an awesome night!


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Review #32, by apocalypse Epilogue - Avrille

7th May 2012:
Beware, this review is gonna have a lot of capitals. =P

RENFAIR! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STORY IS STILL SO AMAZING! IT'S THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE TO READ ON THIS SITE AND I REALLY REALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU FOR WRITING IT! I LOVE SNAPE AND AVRILLE AND EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE WHOLE STORY. AMAZING!!

Ahem. Okay. HI! I'm apocalypse! =) I actually created my account on this site only last year but I read this story THREE YEARS AGO. And I STILL remembered everything that has happened in it! I don't think I gave you a review back then but right now, I really wanted to tell about how long I have been following you and this story!

It's been three years since I read this and now when i came back and read it again, it was like I hadn't ever taken a break from it. I've already read this story about 4 times before and even now, it never gets old! It's BRILLIANT! And i'm being a very incoherent reviewer right now but I'm just SO excited to have finally found this story after so many days of research that I can't control it!

I think a lot of people might have already told you how much they love this story and how big fans they are of yours but I still want to tell you THAT I AM YOUR BIGGEST HUGEST FAN EVER! And only because of this story!

Now onto the story's review. As you already know how much I loved it I'll tell you why. =) It's the most beautifully executed story; it makes me believe that something like this did happen during Harry's school year and that Avrille had actually been Snape's apprentice. It makes me believe in true love and friendship and honesty. I suppose, this is the story that changed my opinion about Snape. After reading this, I was convinced that Snape could never be so bad as to hurt so many people. It made me see the good in him.

You've done a wonderful job with the ideas you've had for the story! I really liked how you've made Avrille weak in her powers but given her so much still and how Snape had issues with his father. When he goes to visit his father's grave, THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST SCENES EVER!

There have been moments in this story when I've cried, laughed, gotten angry, felt frustrated, ridiculous; it just holds so many memories of mine that it's part of my life and will always will be. Even after three years, I still feel for it and would ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVE THIS!

I'm SO glad you've updated the sequel! I'll be taking a look at it and would be reviewing that too! =D I'm currently posting a review on the last chapter of the story but if I feel like reading and reviewing this story again, I might come back a few times and give reviews on random chapters. That's me. =)

I'm sorry I didn't review this story before. But I promise to follow the sequel! I love you and Snape and Avrille! =D

-apocalypse
~Recenseo '12

Author's Response: Well, I don't even know where to begin replying to this review. I'm probably still blushing. I guess let me ask, how does it feel to have made someone's MONTH? :D Cause really, that's what you just did. This review was so completely unexpected, and I can't put into words how appreciated it is. As you probably know, I finished writing this story close to FIVE years ago now (wow! time flies!), so to know that there are still people who are enjoying it and keep coming back to re-read it is incredibly humbling. I really only wrote the story for myself, to create something that I would want to read since I wasn't happy with what a horrible life Snape ended up having in the books, so having really wonderful people like you tell me that you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it is just...brilliant! :)

I'm so happy the story changed your opinion about Snape. When I started writing it, the "Half-Blood Prince" book hadn't even come out yet, so we really didn't have much of an inkling either way about his true loyalties. I just thought he was so incredibly brave to be doing all that spying for the Order and figured there was no way someone who was truly working for Voldemort would do all the things he did (I decided he must be loyal to Dumbledore after reading HBP and remembering how he had sent Order members to the Ministry after Harry. There's no way he would have bothered if he was "evil." I'm really looking forward SO much to touching on all the stuff in the sequel. JKR gave us fan fic writers so much fun stuff to play around with.)

I hope you enjoy the sequel. Reviews so far seem to be overwhelmingly positive, so I guess I'm doing something right ;) It won't be so focused on the romance aspect, but with more of a focus on family and (without giving *too* much away...) Avrille questioning the realization she came to in the first book that it's impossible to change the future. I'm expecting this story to be around the same length as TDoON, though the epilogue might end up being a stand-alone novella because I'm going to want to wrap up the plot all the way through Voldemort's defeat without making a trilogy.

Sorry, I'm probably rambling! Reviews on random chapters are always appreciated ;) but really, you've already given me so much with this one. I am very curious to know what you think about the new material, so if you don't mind taking a second once you read it, please drop me a line. The cool thing about posting a WIP is the feedback I get from readers while I'm doing it.

Thanks again just so much, a million times over for your incredibly kind review. If you have any questions about this story or the sequel, I have a Meet the Author thread on the forums (and also a BADLY updated blog...haha. I really need to get on updating that...) I also never mind a private message since I LOVE meeting new Harry Potter writing friends. Have an awesome week, thanks so much again, and hope you enjoy Severus's and Avrille's new story! ~Renny


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Review #33, by TheFalk Epilogue - Avrille

18th April 2012:
AWESOME!
Can't wait to read the sequel!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! At least you didn't have to wait four years in between the two like the first readers on HPFF did :( I hope you enjoy the sequel just as much. Thanks again for all your reviews! ~Renny

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Review #34, by TheFalk Chapter Twenty-Eight - Severus

18th April 2012:
ah! that was the most intense chapter yet!

Author's Response: Thanks! I find it really funny how almost everyone who reviews this chapter uses the word "intense" to describe it. :) What can I say, it's one of my favorites. ~Renny

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Review #35, by Beth Epilogue - Avrille

18th April 2012:
beautiful!!! first story like this and i adored it, thank you so much.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Thank yo for taking a moment to leave a review and let me know. It really means a lot. Hope you like what I've started of the sequel, if you decide to continue. :D ~Renny

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Review #36, by TheFalk Chapter Twenty-One - Avrille

17th April 2012:
FINALLY! This was an amazing chapter!!!

Author's Response: Yeah, that's usually the one that people like a lot ;) Along with chapter 28. Heh heh. I know I dragged it out a bit, but it was worth it, don't you think? Thank you for the review! ~Renny

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Review #37, by TheFalk Chapter Eleven - Avrille

17th April 2012:
You're an amazing writer!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Um...what can I say...I just do it for fun and write what *I* would like to read :D

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Review #38, by TheFalk Chapter Five - Avrille

17th April 2012:
great job!!
I love it! (:

Author's Response: Thanks! There's still plenty more to go ;) Thanks a million for the reviews! You're the best! ~Renny

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Review #39, by TheFalk Chapter Four - Severus

16th April 2012:
awesome chapter!!!
Can't wait to read what happens!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I'm getting quite spoiled here with these reviews every chapter. I can tell you're a writer yourself, since you must know how much I appreciate it ;) ~Renny

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Review #40, by TheFalk Chapter Three - Avrille

16th April 2012:
awesome job! I love all the details you have put in!

Author's Response: Thank you! I did work really hard to make it as detailed as possible. I know I always appreciate stories that add a bit more than just what was in canon :) Thanks for all the reviews so far! ~Renny

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Review #41, by TheFalk Chapter Two - Severus

16th April 2012:
well done! can't wait to read chapter 3!

Author's Response: Alright! Two good reviews in a row. I must have been doing something right ;) Thank you!

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Review #42, by TheFalk Chapter One - Avrille

16th April 2012:
I really enjoyed this chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it!

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Review #43, by rose18 Epilogue - Avrille

9th March 2012:
I enjoyed this story so much! Avrille is marvelous and Snape is as well- I keep looking for stories in which he finds a happy ending and this is one of the best I have read. You made it fit in beautifully as well with CoS. I am looking forward to your sequel!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) Fan fiction is so great since you can make happy endings where there weren't any originally. I'm so happy you liked it! Chapter one of the sequel is up, with a few more on the way until I can get some time to write more. Your review is super appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to leave it! ~Renny

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Review #44, by Someone ;) Chapter Twenty-Eight - Severus

6th March 2012:
I love this story! It is amazing :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm super happy you like it ;) Please let me know what you think when you're done reading (and FYI, I'm slowly working on posting the first part of the sequel :D) Thanks again! ~Renny

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Review #45, by Holly Epilogue - Avrille

29th February 2012:
I absolutely loved the story, especially how they actually ended up staying together in this one when she becomes an expectant mother, as many I have read on a different site makes the couple break up, or with Severus being completely against the child, a complete jerk, or something of the likes. Thank you for writing this.

Author's Response: That's so incredibly sad. I think even canon Severus would have had a great potential to be a wonderful father if he had ended up with Lily. Yes, sometimes people with horrible or abusive fathers become abusers themselves, but they can also use that as an example of how *not* to parent (like I had Avrille say) and become stronger because of it. It was very important to me that Severus be given a second chance at having a happy family, and it wasn't an arbitrary decision to make him end up having a son himself. Thank you so much for reading and leaving me a review. In case you're curious, the first chapter of my sequel is currently in the queue waiting to be validated. Family and the specific roles of motherhood and fatherhood will play an enormous role in it. Blame my own having a baby for the fixation. Hey, write what you know, right?

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Review #46, by smexy awesome person Epilogue - Avrille

27th February 2012:
your book is awesome i love it you portrayed severus really well and i am really curious to know whats gonna happen when the dark lord comes WRITE A SEQUEL PLEASE YOURE AWESOME XD

Author's Response: Thanks a million! And your name totally cracked me up :) Sequel's on the way, I promise! I have the first four chapters almost completely done. I'm working hard on making the first chapter fit for posting and *should* actually have it up in a few days (assuming my toddler gives me a few uninterrupted hours to finish polishing it up.) Thank you so much for review, and I hope you enjoy what's on the way! ~Renny

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Review #47, by xXxMagicHappensxXx Chapter Thirty-Two - Severus

2nd February 2012:
This is very good!! Needless to say, you have perfected the art of story telling! I'm actually quite scared for Snape :( I hope he'll be ok.

Author's Response: Thanks! It's so horrible of me, but I really enjoyed writing the Revenant chapters. I felt awful putting Severus through such an ordeal, but I wanted to show just how serious the Death Wish curse had been. And don't be too scared. He's got a totally kick-butt fiancee to come save him :D ~Renny

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Review #48, by xXxMagicHappensxXx Chapter Twenty-Eight - Severus

31st January 2012:
I must say, this is the most amazing love scene I've ever read (yes, I also checked it out on Fiction Alley) You did a really good on it!!

Sorry I've been a loser and waited 28 chapters to review, but I've been so (selfishly) impatient to keep reading I just keep clicking to the next chapter!!

This story has been so brilliant, I just want you to know how much of the "wow" factor you've got going here.

Brilliant grammar, sentance structure and a most intriguing plot!!

Three words ought to sum it up perfectly: I LOVE IT!!!

Keep up the absolutely wonderful writing!!

Author's Response: Oh, you're not a loser! It's really flattering that you were too busy enjoying the story to leave a review :) But it's very, very much appreciated. I kind of wonder when I get a great review for the first chapter then don't hear any more from the reader if maybe they ended up not liking the story and it makes me all paranoid :/ So thanks for checking in!

That scene was so important for me to get right. I wanted it to be tasteful, but still satisfying (heh heh) enough for the reader who has been super patient in waiting for it :) But in all honesty, I HATE writing love scenes. Talk about super embarrassing (and I have a kid, so I guess things like that shouldn't bother me...but they do. Hahahaha.) But I'm glad it came out well.

Funnily enough, I'm actually fine now with having to change that one line. I'm probably going to keep the "edited" version instead of my original one.

Thank you so much for the review! Each and every one is incredibly important to me. If you're able to pop back when you reach the ending (though I certainly wouldn't object to some reviews before that as well), that would be awesome. I'd love to hear what you thought of the story as a whole. Thanks so much again! ~Renny


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Review #49, by xXxMagicHappensxXx Chapter One - Avrille

28th January 2012:
This is by far one of the most captivating first chapters of a Harry Potter fanfic I've ever read!

I love your writing technique and I love how much personality you give your character. So many people tend to either describe the environment AROUND their character too much, or they might be on the total opposite end of the spectrum and write too much about their character, and the characters thoughts. You however, have found the perfect balance between the two and it has been an absolute pleasure to read this chapter.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the story!

Thank you for an amazing read, I hope you make many more stories in the future

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'm really happy you like it so much right off that bat!

I know *exactly* what you mean about there sometimes being too much environmental description or not enough. That is something that I personally work very hard at finding a good balance with, so it's really flattering to have that noticed. Sometimes with writers who I know are younger, I crave a little bit more description and not so much a laundry list of events that reads like a diary, but I know that they're still developing their voice and writing technique so I simply try to enjoy where they are in their life :)

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story just as much! I can usually guarantee that if someone likes the first chapter, they'll find it gets better and better. I hope to write lots more stories in the future, though they might not be fan fiction. I'm working on a sequel to this story, but after that I'm going to try very hard to put fan fiction aside and work on original work so maybe I can be published someday. As much as I love the Harry Potter world to death, I really never felt the longing to write about it besides from the viewpoint of Severus and Avrille. Thank you so much for your review! It is so so so very appreciated! ~Renny


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Review #50, by TenthWeasley Chapter Seven - Avrille

27th January 2012:
I've been looking forward all week to getting back and reading this chapter -- somehow, what with this week's massive load of deadlines, nothing sounded more appealing to me than dropping it all and immersing myself in fan fiction, and yours was one of the ones I was most anxious to get back to. I just can't help rooting for Severus and Avrille!

This was my absolute favorite quote from this chapter --

I started slightly at his question since I had been strangely mesmerized by the way his thumb had been caressing the twigís smooth bark.

And the reason I think that I liked it so much was because that you, like me, seem to think Severus's hands are fantastic -- and we've never really seen them in canon, either! I thought that was so neat, and allowed myself to daydream just for a bit about them. :3

Your Lockhart continues to impress and amuse me greatly -- by far he blows most other Lockharts out of the water, with the obvious exception of JKR's own. But yours reads very much like that one, which is such a lovely relief and pleasure. His line about the staining possibilities of the salve, especially, because it is just like him to worry about something like that. :D It's really a wonder all the other professors didn't murder him in his sleep.

With each new chapter I read from Avrille's perspective, the more and more I am coming to like her. (And before I forget this, since I did on the last chapter of hers, I love that you're setting up a friendship between her and Professor Sinistra. I think she needs someone like that there!) She is so strong, and it makes me want a friend exactly like her -- she'd be a very good one. She complements Snape very well, the sort of light to his dark, and I think they are a very good match. And in my opinion, Snape's a hard one to find a match for, so I really have to commend you on that!

Loved this, of course -- your story hooks deeper claws in me each time I return. And the next chapter is Severus's and I am absolutely floored for that, so hopefully you will see me back before long! Excellent work! ♥

Author's Response: I know what you mean about just wanting to sit down and read! That's how I've been all week. I know I don't have a lot of spare time lately after my son goes to bed since it takes him so long to get settled, so I usually have just enough time to read a chapter of "In The Black" and look forward to doing so and being alone in the quiet. I'm also really pushing myself to try and read at least a chapter a day because I honestly don't think I've ever finished a novel-length fan fic besides one I beta'd, so I'd love to have that sense of accomplishment. I'm hoping to get back to many written by friends that I started years back but never finished. But yours comes first!

I somehow knew you'd like that line. I just always imagined Severus having amazing hands. If you want to see my Severus-hands inspiration, you should search YouTube for the "Dance D'Amour" music video (12+ish) by The 69 Eyes. The lead singer, Jyrki, is my inspiration for Severus (like, if Severus was a rock star :D) and he is just gor-ge-ous in that video.

Lockhart really was insanely fun to write. I probably should have put more of him in the story, but he really doesn't have much to do with the plot between Avrille and Severus except for providing a good get-moving-kick-in-the-pants for Severus in chappie 16. I really enjoyed writing both the buffoonish fop aspect of Lockhart, but also the slightly darker side that we see a glimpse of when he tries to erase Harry and Ron's memories in CoS. He might seem like a annoying, harmless egoist, but Lockhart is definitely not a nice man.

Lavinia provides a good counter-balance to Avrille's dedication to her school work. I figured she needed someone to just be girly with once in a while so she didn't go totally beserk with unrequited feelings for her supervisor. I also found is amusing to have Avrille's good friend be someone who Severus would consider a complete flake.

The next chapter personally isn't one of my favorites, though it definitely has funny moments. Something about is just sort of "meh" for me. It was one of those ones that I wrote near the end since I had this huge chunk of time to fill in basically between Avrille's arrival at Hogwarts and December :D But after this one, I really have to say I love every single one of my chapters. Thank you as always for your reviews, and I'm hoping I might have a bit of time now to at least start your next chapter! ~Renny


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