Please don't kill me for taking literally FOREVER to get around to this, *begs and offers millions of cookies*
One thing is, you have improved your writing style no end, you're a lot more descriptive and just a generally better writer and in only one chapter that's pretty rad!
Something you said in another review that I also picked up on and your respose "In short - Hugo's landlady is a muggle, and his winnings were in Galleons - he needed to get them changed into GBP first" I think you need to state somewhere that he is living in Muggle London and not Diagon Alley London because I to got confused as to why he wasn't paying her right away.
This story is coming on nicely and I love Ron even though he's being a little mean he's still funny!
Keep going (even though I see you have and I've actually taken so long with this review that you've managed to get 3 more chapters up in the time it's taken me to get around to this! I know I'm the worlds worst reviwer!)
Hope to see you around, MelliexAuthor's Response: Hey! I am so sorry for not getting round to this earlier!
Thank you for your wonderful compliments, they mean so much to me as a writer! And yes, I see what you mean about needing to explain - just a minor detail that I forgot to add in. Thank you for pointing it out :)
Thanks for your wonderful review! Report Review
Hey! I'm finally here with your review! I apologise for taking so long; I've only just caught up with everything :)
Ohh, poor Hugo! I feel so sorry for him :) First Rose, then Scorpius, James and Lily who all stole his thunder. My heart was breaking for him :(
And Rose was so horrible to him. Smirking and showing off. You wouldn't have thought they were brother and sister!
I think it's really sad that Ron puts his son down so much. I'm not sure if canon Ron would do that, but you've written it really well to make me believe it.
A Muggle casino in Diagon Alley? I certainly didn't expect that. I like the description; all the bright lights and pretty women. It's brilliant the way you wrote how he got hooked in. A small win which reeled him in.
-Sophia xAuthor's Response: Hi there! I'm terribly sorry for only getting round to reply to this now!
Yes, Hugo gets a bit of a beating there doesn't he? Bless him. There's always a bit of sibling rivalry, and I thought I could capitalise on that for Rose, assuming she got Hermione's competitive nature. Still, I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Hey (: Melliex here from the forum with your (belated) review!
This story line is really interesting, and very original I've certainly never seen a casino gambling addiction story on here before. Hugo seems lovely, like a really nice sweet guy that just wants some love (and he's got all mine!). Rose seems like a little show off and where with Hermione she did it to simply show off, Rose does it to make Hugo seem inferior and I don't particually like her one little bit!
I'm intreged to find out what happened the second time her went to the casino because I have a feeling something bad happened Hugo just can't remember it. I also assume it was he who stunned those drunk guys.
Your writing style is lovely, it's simple enough that it's easy to follow yet complex enough to actively engage the reader. The plot had a long way to go and it seems to be advancing at a nice steady rate.
P.S Favourited!Author's Response: Hi there! Don't worry about it! :)
I'm glad you think it's interesting! I don't particularly work with canon very well, so I feel as if creating my own world is much easier to do :P I'm glad you like the characters too! It's really dun to work with a Rose that no one likes, usually against her characterisation!
As for my writing style, it's actually a little different to how I usually write so it's out of my comfort zone, which is always fun!
Thank you for reviewing! :) Report Review
Watch out, Hugo. You don't want to get addicted. Another great chapter! Your plot and characterization are excellent so far, although Ron is a little harsh still in my opinion.
I did notice one line where you might want to change your phrasing. "Mrs Van Der Rich was actually a poor old woman, contrary to her name, and a widower left with lots of money from her late husband." The way this currently reads is slightly confusing. You go on to clarify it in the next line, but I stopped to re-read this one a couple times first. You might want to change it to "a widower who had been left" instead. Just a minor point, but it should be Mrs. Van Der Rich, with a period after Mrs.Author's Response: Hehe, you'll have to wait and see what happens I suppose! I'm glad you like the plot and characterisation, making my characters as real as possible has always been fun for me :)
Also merci for pointing that out - I'll get to changing it. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I have to say, your idea definitely has promise. I think this is the first story I've read that's focused on Hugo. He tends to be forgotten about, you know, or gets a basic description and the occasional appearance. Your Hugo is different though. I like the idea of his as the black sheep of the family, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
My only problem was, I don't see Ron being so cruel to him. It is quite hypocritical of him, since he went through a similar situation when he was younger. He got somewhat forgotten about in his large family, and everyone else just saw him as another Weasley, or Harry Potter's best friend. Think of how jealous he was in Goblet of Fire, or when he had to destroy the locket in Deathly Hallows.Author's Response: Thank you! I just thought he was a good character to focus the storyon because as you said he is often forgotten. As for Ron, it's more disappointment than anything - he's always been quite judgemental and with Hugo not living up to his expectations I can imagine their relationship not being too great.
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Hello! This is TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, here with your requested review for this story.
I absolutely love your characterization of Hugo! You have written him exactly the way I have always pictured an adult Hugo might act, which is so nice. =) For some reason, I've always been a little dissatisfied with the way most people have chosen to write him - and, granted, we don't see much of him as JKR writes him, but I feel that you have captured the bit of him we do see perfectly. =)
I think I saw maybe one or two minor grammatical or spelling errors throughout the chapters, but I can't remember them exactly, so you shouldn't concern yourself with them much, hehe. =)
Overall, I enjoyed this story much more than I predicted I would! Keep up the great job, you definitely have talent. =) All your characterizations and descriptions were great! Thank you for requesting a review from me!Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for completing this review for me :)
Thank you! I really enjoy characterising my OC's and HP characters how I imagine them to be, which doesn't always necessarily fit into the 'normal' characterisation, but anything's game right? I'm glad you think I've got him characterised right, I just can't imagine him being loud and boisterous!
I'm glad you enjoyed it (at least more than you expected hehe)! And thank you for such a wonderful compliment, it means a lot :)
Merci! Report Review
I am so so sorry, you requested this review all the way back in August, but real life got crazy when school started and I completely forgot about my thread! But better late then never I suppose (:
Anyway, I really enjoyed that you've avoided a lot of common things we see in nextgen. Including having Scoprius with someone other than Rose, having a nasty Rose, having Hugo not get along with Ron, etc. I still like stories that have the usual things, but it's nice to read stories that are different. Just the fact that you have hugo as your main character is pretty different too! Out of all the children actually mentioned in the epilogue I think he is the most ignored.
The one thing you might want to change is the game Russian Roulette. The actual game of russian roulette is much different than the game you described. I'm not sure if there is a technical name for placing bets on the numbers, but I'm sure you can find that on google haha (:
Overall, really nice story. I like how the plot is developing, and the uniqueness of it all. I can honestly say I haven't seen any story with a wizard casino!
-ronsgirl29Author's Response: Hello! Not to worry at all, as I'm not the best replier when it comes to reviews! Or updater ... or reviewer ... moving on ;)
I'm glad you liked the characterisation! I'm not one for tradition (just a look at my author page can tell you that), so I like to mix things up a bit and go against the norm. It's ever so fun to write them differently than what they're normally characterised as, feels like I'm breaking the rules a bit :P
Oh goodness yes, this has been pointed out to me once before! Just to clarify that I did indeed do my research, except I was a bit of an idiot and didn't understand the entire concept I guess. D'oh!
I'm glad you liked the story so far! Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Oh no!!! I thought I'd left reviews for these next couple of chapters, but apparently they didn't go through right! Anyway, I know I left a pretty hefty review for this chapter before, so I'll try to recreate it and hope I don't miss anything. :-)
I LOVE the idea of novelty staplers - it's one of those fun, eccentric little details that really helps set the scene and create a visual image of the wizarding world.
I'm enjoying how we're being introduced to this female character who is obviously going to be important to Hugo's story in some way, but we don't yet know when or why or how (though I have a good idea of who Stunned the guys who were harassing her). I'm also thinking she's probably a Muggle, since she seemed surprised by the red light from the Stunning spell - wizard/Muggle relationships and interactions are fun to explore, and still relatively rare around HPFF - and for some reason I tend to think the next gen characters would have more interactions with Muggles than their parents and grandparents did.
But on that note, I do like how you seem to be keeping the wizarding population still fairly insulated within their own little social sphere, rather than having the next gen automatically latch on to Muggle trends and society - I really noticed, for example, in one of the previous chapters, when Hugo had to make a note to ask Hermione what a mobile is! I think it's become pretty common in HPFF to write the next gen-ers as being really savvy with Muggle technology (I'm as guilty of this as the next person), so it's refreshing to see these characters still having largely no idea about Muggle innovations (though I would tend to think that Hermione's kids would have a better grasp of Muggle things than most others).
Also, Declan is really funny, in a slightly obnoxious way. :-D
The Artist Formerly Known as Secret SantaAuthor's Response: AHA! You've been found out Mel! Teehee :P
Thank you! I love paying attention to the little details in a story, and I like the idea that in this generation the gap between the wizarding world and Muggles would have shrunk even more to the point where they start using their items.
I definitely agree with you, I think that Next Gen characters would have more interactions with Muggles too, because of what I said above - there must have been a more equal world created. True that Hermione's children should have a better knowledge of Muggle items than other wizards, but I always imagine Hugo to be a bit more up in the clouds and to either forget or just not pay attention :P
Thank you for your lovely reviews dear! They've been a pleasure to reply to :) Report Review
So I totally laughed at the part where Hugo's landlady accosts him for the rent. It was such a funny image.
I wasn't at all expected how this chapter began, with Hugo waking up with the waitress - but I did like that his reaction to it was in character. He just went "Wtf?" and got outta there as fast as he could.
So, Ron is kinda a total jerk, which makes me sad, but I promise I'll get over it. I was cracking up at his cryptic questioning about Hugo's love life. "Are the sails up?" Hahahahaha.
Hugo's internal monologue is so funny. My favorite line was, "I hope the broomstick stops working in Bosnia."
xoxoAuthor's Response: Hehe, I don't know why but I imagine any future landladies of mine to be like that :P
As for Ron being a bit of a git, it's just on the surface, I promise. In later chapters the reader gets to see their relationship grow, so fear not!
I think my absolute favourite thing about writing this story is Hugo's internal monologue! The advantage of being British is that it's easy to keep the characters British too - I guaruntee that's what most people sound like here!
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Merry Christmas, Jenny!! I'll be leaving you a few reviews over the next day or two. I was excited to see this story by you, first of all because Hugo is one of my many HP loves, and also because gambling is such a unique topic to explore, especially in HPFF.
Hugo seems to be written similarly to the common Hugo characterization (which isn't a bad thing, since it makes sense given that he's the second child) - but I liked the fact that he's strong at math. You can't really be stupid and be good at math, so he's obviously very smart. The math also explains the draw to gambling, since it's a numbers game.
I thought it was really interesting how you switched the most common Ron and Hermione next gen characterizations. Usually Hermione is the strict parent who gets disappointed with her underachieving children, and Ron is the laid-back one. Switching them is an interesting idea, and I can see how that could be realistic. I always thought Hermione would be a nurturing mother anyway. I personally like to think as Ron being less negative when it comes to his children, but I also see how your way of writing him makes sense. I could actually relate to it, because my stepdad wasn't a super high achiever when he was in school, but he was really strict with ME when it came to my grades and everything else.
So when I read about a gambling hall popping up in Diagon Alley, it got the wheels in my head turning. Made me wonder about the general wizarding attitude towards gambling, whether casino-type gambling is a relatively new addition to the wizarding world or whether they've been secretly gambling in dark, smoky parlors for centuries.
I did want to point out, though, that "Russian roulette" is the game of chance played with a loaded gun. o.O Slightly more dangerous than regular roulette in a casino. XD
I'm looking forward to reading on! Keep your eyes out for more reviews!
Ho ho ho!
xoxoAuthor's Response: Hehehehe, merry Xmas!! Sorry for the late reply :(
I'm glad you liked it! I randomly had the idea for a gambling fic and thought it would be lovely and scandalous for one of the more "forgotten" Next Gen characters to be the main character in it ;D
I wouldn't normally write Ron and Hermione that way round, it was weird actually ... it sort of just fell into it. Ron is perfectly lovely to Rose who's fulfilled their expectations as it were, whereas Hugo has never been particularly friendly and more bookish like his mother in this story. I dunno, it just kind of made sense at the time. Still, I'm glad you like it!
Yes, it's interesting to think about whether wizards did have casinos or something similar in the past - I bet they had a few cheeky games of poker! And yes, just to clarify I did my research and appeared to have misunderstood the concept of Russian Roulette. LOL, fail.
Thank you for your wonderful review! Report Review
Hm, not seeming like such a good idea now, is it Hugo? ^_^ Good to seem the negative side of his addiction, the low not the gambling high.
-->"Good God, he make look nerdier but I bloody sound nerdier." Made me laugh :D we've all got a little nerd inside, I think.
Once again, this chapter is better than the first as far as descriptions. I think the original problem was there was just too much dialogue all around in the first chapter, what with a everyone's announcements. Now it's tapered off, but be wary of relying on dialogue to carry the plot in the future.
Ah, so Hugo does pay his rent. Okay. I am appeased.
And I liked the little tid bit about the female in the end, a different sort of perspective inserted into the piece. I assume she's the one mentioned in the summary. If so I like this gradual introduction as opposed to a sudden overload about her, her backstory, yada, yada.
Note: this is the last chapter you have validated and, coincidently, the end of my three chapter limit for reviews. If, once you've posted a few more chapters, you'd like some more feedback, you are welcome to post again on my forum thread. I'd love to find out more about this woman and Hugo's descent into darkness.
So for now, adieu to you.
LadyOrpheusAuthor's Response: Hehe, there will be many more highs and lows in the future for poor Hugo! :P
I'm pleased you think I improved on the description - I suppose the first chapter just needed a lot of dialogue to get the plot moving, and the description could have waited :)
Thank you so much for your feedback - it's been extremely helpful and I will definitely request when I have three more chapters! Thank you for reviewing :) Report Review
-->"He quickly shut them and groaned, fumbling about when he felt not the cold, hard wood he was expecting but something softer. Something ... more flesh like? The thing moved." An excellent way to open. very descriptive.
So I know I mentioned in my last review "show; don't tell", but no sooner do I click the link to the next chapter then then I see you've already improved! It was much more descriptive and real from the woman in his bed to the layout of the apartment.
One thing I didn't understand though, was why Hugo didn't pay the rent if he's just come home with a giant stash of cash. It's not like he was in a real hurry to get somewhere in time, he could have easily paid Mrs. Van Der Rich. It was also kind of strange that Hugo didn't once ponder what he might spend the money on the entire chapter. If I'd struck big I'd have a whole list of things!
No overly glaring grammatical stuff, but there was one moment when you might want to use a slightly different wording.
-->"..he noticed her pale, scared face..." You might want to change it to "scared" to frightened or "terrified" or something along those lines because when you use "scared" in conjuction with an adjective about physical appearances, it's difficult to tell whether you meant to say "scarred" as if you were describing her features.
It doesn't really take away from the story, but it did confuse me for a moment.
And so starts the addiction I assume. I wonder how poor Hugo will fare when his lucks turns around the other way...
LadyOrpheusAuthor's Response: In short - Hugo's landlady is a muggle, and his winnings were in Galleons - he needed to get them changed into GBP first :) and thank you for your suggestion - you're right, it is a little confusing, I'll change it! :) Report Review
A good start to your story. Completely not what I ever imagined the future Weasley family to be like, but that's half the appeal. This is a darker side of the Weasley clan.
That doesn't mean it was lacking in spunk or humor
--> "It was like an episode of some dastardly Muggle television show that his Mum occasionally watched had come to life..." Hahaha ^_^ it seemed a bit soap opera-esque, but the fact that Hugo provided a biting commentary gave it a better edgy quality.
One quick grammatical thing I noticed when Hugo talks about breaking his wand all the time like Ron used to:
-->"...because he would always unwittingly breaking his..." this should really either read: 1)"because he was always unwittingly breaking his" 2)"beacuse he always unwittingly broke his" 3)"because he would always unwittingly break his". The first or second option is probably the strongest.
The only other major suggestion I have is the basic "show; don't tell". You've got a really creative vision for this mysterious place that's been revealed in Diagon Alley and you should let it thrive and really let the readers feel like they know this place even if they've just been introduced.
Most of your description is action driven. Which is good because it means the story doesn't wander, but take a little time to pause and set the scene.
Until next time!
LadyOrpheusAuthor's Response: Thank you! I like to explore generally unrecognised paths in FF - I doubt the Weasley clan are as perfect as everyone thinks :) haha, I do like to think that this is mildly humourous so I'm glad you liked it!
As for the grammatical error, that is most definitely a typo and is meant to be "because he was always unwittingly breaking his" - thank you for pointing it out!
On your "show, don't tell" point I'm afraid that I don't quite understand what you mean - I'll look up a few tutorials :) Report Review
Hey Jenny! Sorry this review took so long!
This is such an original idea, I love it! I'm really intrigued to see where this goes - I imagine Hugo's going to eventually get himself into quite a bit of trouble!
I love your characterisation of Hugo by the way. He's very like his dad was when he was younger, completely overshadowed by the other members of his family. It was really funny seeing Hugo's inner thoughts when everyone kept standing up to make announcements that further belittled his! I know what it feels like to be overshadowed by older siblings! I also like how you've done James/OC and Lily/OC, with some Scorpius/Dominique thrown in! Really cool world you've created, good luck with the rest of the story! :)Author's Response: Hi Heather! It's not a problem :)
Thank you! It's ever so fun to write :P as for Hugo, you'll have to wait and see! I've never actually noticed that similarity so thank you for pointing it out to me haha! I'm glad you liked it :) thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Hi, Erised. I'm here filling your review request for some quick critique. Before I get to that, I have to comment on two positive things that really stood out for me. The first is the plot. Gambling? I love it for its originality and possibilities. I don't know yet where you plan to take it but I really like it as a set-up. I also really enjoyed your portrayal of Rose. She's kind of horrible but in a very realistic way - showing a bit of Hermione and Ron's worst traits. It's great not to see all the Potter and Weasley children as likeable, and in Hugo's case, overly successful.
I'd say that the area that fell short the most for me was the nitpicky grammatical stuff. It wasn't like there are a lot of mistakes, I just don't think this chapter read extremely clean. A couple of examples:
-- Yes, you could say that Hugo was feeling happy. After finally securing a promising job at the Ministry, he had rushed to the Burrow for the annual Christmas celebrations there and told the entire family the good news. Naturally, everyone was delighted, but there was something holding everyone back. Rose had a glint in her eye, James seemed unusually subdued, and Scorpius looked as if he were going to throw up. Illness, maybe?
This paragraph isn't wrong, but there are a some small things that could make it sharper. The use of "you" in this context is strange, addressing the audience directly. The "had" and "there" in the next sentence aren't really necessary and weight down further an already lengthy sentence. I like that you used a short sentence at the end but the "throw-up" bit is funny and a stronger ending point.
-- The night went on with many celebratory glasses of wine. but Hugo had only had two. Any more and he'd be having a headache tomorrow - wine went straight to his head.
Besides the period that should be a comma typo, some of this is repetitive. Again, you've got an extra "had" that isn't wrong but further removes the reader from the action of the story. And telling me wine goes straight to his head implies the headache tomorrow. You don't need both.
The content here is good. When you finish your chapters, perhaps try reading them aloud as a way of polishing them up. I often do that and my ears pick out what sounds funny even though my brain bypassed it, knowing it's not actually technically wrong. Hope that helps. Let me know if you'd like me to keep reviewing this.Author's Response: Thank you very much for your invaluable feedback! I thought that gambling is a topic whch hasn't really been explored in relation to fanfiction so I thought I'd give it a go. Also I'm glad you liked Rose's characterisation - she's one of my favourite to write so I like to do different things with her :)
I've edited the chapter in with your improvements but haven't gotten round to adding it into the queue yet. They were very helpful! Exactly what I was looking for. Thank you for taking the time to review! Report Review
I just cant belive that Hugo went back there before his first day on the job. This line 'Good God, he make look nerdier but I bloody sound nerdier.' I just love it, its great. I am really not liking Rose she comes out like a heart less and dont care about anyone but her self. This women is this the one that Hugo saw getting chaced by the cops eailer? she seems like she reall needs some kind of help or at lest some thing.Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I like to think that this fic is at least mildly humurous :P as for Rose, she really isn't a very nice person, which will be expanded on later! The mysterious woman will also come into play a lot too :)
Thank you for taking the time to review! Report Review
I have to say that the first part was a suprise I didnt at all see that coming, but then again it was good how you put him discoring her. That being said I did like this chapter and how it played out. I want to know what happens when he goes back as well what is wrong with Hermione?Author's Response: Yeah, the idea was that Hugo did something completely out of character, so a bit of a shocker for the reader :P and I guess you'll have to wait and see what happens to Hermione! ;) Report Review
Hugo is not one that you seen written about much so this is new to me, but I have to say that I like him. He is that character that you know is unhappy and needs a change from day to day life. He comes out that as feed up and resless, who wants to do things but yet lacks the abilty to just do them. You have written this very well and I am able to feel for him in the 'outcastness' from his family and life in its self in a way.
The one promble that I did have was the whole muggles chaceing him, I dont know if it was just me but I didnt get how it ended, how he lost them. other than that this is a great idea and you have written this reall well.Author's Response: Hi there :)
I'm glad you like Hugo as a character, your comments show me that at least to one person I've shown his intended characterisation! :)
I can understand with you being confused - the line is "On Hugo ran, as fast as his spindly legs would allow him, and the men eventually gave up and fell back, puffing and shouting abuse." however this tends to get lost in the paragraph it's in and is easily missed! :) Report Review
First question is obviously WHO IS THIS WOMAN? but I presume you'll be revealing that later.
Another strong chapter, I do feel sorry for poor Hugo, a shocker of a first day at work. I hope things start to improve for him, though I suspect he's more likely to return to the casino than prep for work. Poor lad. And Rose has to rub it in. Family, eh?
Update soon my dear :)
xxxAuthor's Response: Ah, you will have to wait and find out who she is ... not much longer actually ;)
Thank you dear :) bless little Hugo, even I feel sorry for him :P and Rose is just a cow isn't she? I got bored of everyone making her so perfect (including myself teehee)
Thank you for reviewing lovely, means a lot :D xxx Report Review
Just have to say HAAHAHAHAH to the bit when Ron was asking Hugo about his love life... "You know ... are the sails up? The ship's being sunk?"
Brilliant chapter, we're really getting inside Hugo's mind and life. I love reading about his family too - Rose sounds insufferable :P Excellent job, reading on :)Author's Response: Hi Marms :wub:
LOL I know, it's not exactly in character or anything but I thought it would be funny to add it in anyway :P
Thank you dearest :wub: Report Review
Brilliant stuff, my love! I love how you've characterised Rose, she's just a horrible character but it's more disguised which works well. But even more than that, I love Hugo's attitude towards her - and everyone really! He's such a placid character and with all the dominating characters around him, it heightens that and it can really seem like a negative. You could see his potential when he was removed from their influence, which was clever as well :)
Brilliant chapter, I'll be back for the next ASAP!
xxxAuthor's Response: Hi Georgia :wub: sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I am not the best at it :P
I'm glad you liked it! Rose is fun to write because I've made her so evil ahha, but writing Hugo's thoughts is even more fun :P
Thanks for reviewing dearest! xxx Report Review
I'm here from the review chain and I have to say, I'm so pleased to have stumbled across this story. It's awesome! The beginning reminds me of a black comedy (poor Hugo!). I love how his no luck situation suddenly changes as soon as he discovers the casino. And, by the way, your characterization of Rose was priceless. Haha! She's definitely a winner. ;)
Hmm, for some reason, the casino gave me the chills. The stunning waitresses, the sneering dealer. It has a sort of vampiric atmosphere, as in, it's the kind of place that'll bleed you dry and then toss you out into the cold.
This was a really great beginning, Jenny. I'm anxious to learn more about this mysterious gaming hall. Good luck and please keep writing! ^_^
celticbardAuthor's Response: Hi celtic! Sorry for taking so long to get back to this . I'm not very good at replying :P
I'm glad you like the story so far, and Rose! It's very fun to write her :P
As for the casino, I really enjoyed writing it and it isn't exactly supposed to be the most welcoming of places, so I'm glad you think that I've gotten that message across :D
Thank you for the review celtic! :D Report Review
JENNY! IT IS I! HERE TO REVIEW THIS PIECE OF MAGIC!
I told you that I loved it when you sent me it the first time and I still adore it just as much! Your characterisation here is absolutely amazing, and I can really see that boastful, proud side of Rose (even though I really adore her :P). Hugo's also got a bit of a case of middle child syndrome, doesn't matter that he's not a middle child, the Weasley family is big enough to let him have it :P. We can also tell that it's rightly justified because of all the crazy announcements that just went down XD.
Your plot has so much potential and this chapter was and absolutely fabulous start to it story. I can only imagine where things will go from here, but I think it's safe to say that the outcome will not be a positive one!
Nice use of first person and YAY for putting another Hugo story out into the world! ^_^
xxAuthor's Response: Hi Jane :P
Thank you very much! Rose is often characterised as amazing, so I decided to run with that but with a twist by making her rather horrible. Yeah, Hugo is really overshadowed, hence the lack of stories by him :P
Thank you! I plan on updating this in the near future, seeing as I have the first six chapters written out :P good old NaNoWriMo ...
Thank you for reviewing my lovely xx Report Review
All right, lovely?
First things first, HUGO. Wonderful man. I love that you're giving him some much needed love. He deserves it.
ROSE, on the other hand - I knew I hated her for a reason >.< Stupid woman. Should definitely push her in the river or something of the same sort. I'll do it :D
I really loved the insertion of Hugo's thoughts into the main text. That style really is not exploited often enough and it gave a really personal element to a 3rd person which can often come across as distant.
Love the inclusion of some burly Muggle thieves, just whilst I remember. I think they're just misunderstood.
Okay, will wrap this up as am aware you are not a fan of the long review (and you might be more inclined to reply to a shorter one).
LOVES IT, DEAREST
xxAuthor's Response: HEY RACH â¥
I'm glad you're liking Hugo! Well I'd be worried if you didn't, seeing as he's the main character ... anyway ...
Rose = cow. She will be cropping up more as the story goes on ;)
I love having his thoughts in the fic and I'm pleased you do too! :) I think it adds a more personal edge to things. Thing is, I had to stop myself from doing it in Malice's latest chapter haha!
Thugs â¥ they are CLASSY. :P
Thank you for the review Rach xx â¥ Report Review
Yay! Jenny, you have a new story! I'm so excited for this! I can already see that it's going to be very interesting!
I feel kinda bad for Hugo. Being the youngest and the big sis taking all the glory. Not only her, but the others who were pregnant. I know what that's like, being the youngest myself.
You did everything wonderfully. The way you talked about the different feelings Hugo was feeling towards the others, was amazing. And the casino scene, that was brilliant! I think Hugo might find a hidden talent! :P I don't see him as the gambling type, nor do I any of the Weasley's/Potter's really.
Can't wait for the update, dear!
♥Author's Response: Hi Alicia! Hugo definitely gets completely overshadowed, something I've always imagined happening to him, the poor guy. I'm glad you liked the start, and I will get to updating this soon! Thank you for reviewing :) x Report Review
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