Reading Reviews for The Master Plan
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #26, by harrypottersgirlfriend18 Drinks

3rd January 2011:
love it and can't wait for more

Author's Response: Yep, I've been gathering up my ideas for the next chapter, I plan to begin writing it soon! Thanks for reading!

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Review #27, by Pacific Wizard Drinks

30th December 2010:
Hi HPFFAwesome: I've wanted to review many times as I read through your trilogy but I couldn't pinpoint what confused me about your storyline. Now I think I can give you a useful review and summarize my thoughts properly.

First, you have an engaging writing style and an energy that seems to ignite the flow of your story. I stayed with your stories because I liked the energy and the little interesting subplots you introduced us to, such as, Hermione's pregnancy and Ron's new job, their future as a married couple or maybe not, Elisa losing her job and her depression, Harry's irritability and indelicate way he handled that situation.

What had me so confused is that there wasn't much background or character development, especially for Elisa. I mean, who is she? Harry died with Ginny as the last thought in his mind. AU or not, it's hard for many of us to break away from that. Also, while I'm a huge H/G fan, I didn't have a problem with the introduction of a new love for Harry. Other than the fact that she's a blond beauty, I didn't learn anything more about why she captivated Harry's heart over Ginny. However, the way you portray Ginny, (manic depressive, bipolar come to mind), I could see Harry wanting to end the relationship. But, just saying that the relationship wasn't working for me was frustratingly tepid. Especially with their history fighting Voldemort, rescuing Harry from the Dursleys, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was hard to "like or love" either Harry or Ginny.

Then, Ginny used the Veritaserum and knows the truth. But she blew the doors off the place and terrorized everyone to get what she wanted to know. She also blatantly used someone to get to Harry. Hard to empathize with that person.

Now I'm sitting here without character development on Elisa and two main characters who I don't know anymore in Ginny and Harry.

Then the thought struck me. You're going to expose an elaborate plot to change Harry's and Ginny's personalities, break them apart and have a new love for Harry to keep him imperiused so that he never gets back with Ginny. Why? Because the remaining Deatheaters know that an H/G union would provide a magical bond and leadership for the wizarding world that would thwart the rise of the next evil wizard. When that is discovered, Harry and Ginny become themselves again and defeat the perpetrators and live "happily" ever after. Right? Just kidding...

It's been a fun read and I will stay with it because I believe that you will work your magic and it will end with us still in love with our flawed heroes. Well Done. PW

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the feedback! Also, it's great that you're able to look past some of the extreme OOC and just enjoy the plot of the story. It really means a lot to me. Yes, I know it can be a bit confusing in places, and I'll keep trying to iron out the kinks. Thanks for reading!

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Review #28, by ginny99999 Drinks

28th December 2010:
why is ginny so pitifull here? oh well, im really a ginny/harry fan

Author's Response: Ha! Pitiful could be a word used for Ginny. I wanted to try something different, and it all depends on the reader for it. Some people liked the new Ginny. Some people hateed it. I thought it was something new! Thanks very much for reading!

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Review #29, by anonymous Drinks

26th December 2010:
pleaseee pleaseee please put up the next chapter!

Author's Response: I don't know when I'll be able to get it up, but I know that I'll keep it in mind. I've began to write it, so keep an eye out for it. Thanks for reading!

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Review #30, by Amber Drinks

24th December 2010:
so Harry loves Ginny but married Elizza? Either the potion is wrong or Elizza had Harry under some spell all along. Either way the story is kinda corny...especially since you have spent so much time establishing that Harry is a heartless ass, Ginny is a pathetic looser and Eliza is..well I don';t know what she is, there has been nor character development for her.
Honestly, if you want to improve your writing, you need to work on your characterization.

Author's Response: Yeah, I put OOC for a reason, I changed a lot of characteristics. But if you look past that, it could be interesting. As the for Harry loves Ginny thing, it's my idea of a myterious twist, thank you very much :) Makes it interesting on where it'll go next, if you ask me.

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Review #31, by Mrs.Norris As the days go by...

29th November 2010:
Okay, so I read this far but I don't think I will come back. I actually read the reviews first, was apprehensive, but decided to read a bit anyway and I have to say some of your reviewers have hit it bang on.

I wasn't going to review but then I read your author's notes, I thought I should. See, from a reader's perspective the most important point of a story is plot and your story falters there. I am not saying you don't have twists, you do, but they don't seem in sync with your characters.

The beauty of writing fanfic is that you don't have to work too much on the backstory, people already know the characters you are writing about, but in your story I can't even recognize them.

My biggest problem is with Harry's character. He seems like this cardboard cutout with very little depth and no relation what so ever to the Harry created in the books. I know you are writing AU, since according the books Ginny is Harry's soulmate and he wouldn't even think of hurting her the way he did. However, even with the AU assumption Harry's decision to get married to someone you haven't really established doesn't make sense.

Since you have listed Harry/Ginny in your pairings and they aren't a couple in this story, I am assuming you are thinking of getting them back together at some point. But again that reconciliation too wouldn't make sense. Which woman would take a man back who breaks her heart twice and the second time actually goes and gets married to someone else?

I know there are stories in which Harry leaves after the war, tries to move on, or dates someone because he thinks he has no chance with Ginny. I get that and I understand it when they get back together? But, here the reasons for breaking up weren't clear. Worse still, Harry seems to have no feelings whatsoever for Ginny, developing them suddenly would seem strange too.

If you don't get them back together and Harry stays with Eliza, I don't see any story. Ginny tries to break them up, doesn't succeed, so she move ons? I would read a story like this if a new character was trying to break up two characters I love or two people with a touching back story. But why would I feel something for a happy ever after for two people one of whom I don't recognize and the second that is a mere name-Eliza. I mean who is she?

You could develop her character now, but it would seem forced unless you went back and re-wrote the story and painted Eliza as someone truly meant for Harry. Even, then I'd probably feel more for Ginny than her:) but that's just a personal preference, I like JKR better:)

In a romance story I should feel for the characters and here I can't. I quite like Ginny in the books, here she is someone pathetic and sad. Ginny's best trait is she doesn't take crap from anyone, not even Harry and that's what Harry loved about her. The character you have painted has no connection with the Ginny I know.

On the good side your writing skills are not bad, but then again what will a reader with good writing if the story doesn't make sense.

I don't mean to discourage you, especially since you seem quite young from your writing style and character descriptions. It's just a word of advice, you could take it or throw it in the trash bin.

Author's Response: Sometimes different stories are for different people. You have this opinion on this, but others look through the OOC and into the content and plot of it. Sometimes it takes a little imagination to work through a fic that isn't like the others. That was sort of my goal. My other goal was to please the previous readers, who asked for a sequel :) You understand, right? I can't please everyone, so I went with what pleased me, and what pleased the majority of my readers. I'm glad you think my writing are not bad, I'm getting better every update, if you ask me! Try reading my other fics if you get the chance, they're not nearly as OOC as this series! :D

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Review #32, by The_dark_auror Lost and Found

29th November 2010:
Okay, this is the wierdest story I have read in a while. I'll take it one by one. Why is Ginny acting like 'Cho'? or actually how people make Cho in fanfic. Anyway, what I mean is she is this fiery fiesty girl in canon, if you kept her in character she would move on.
Second, Harry? What's wrong with him? I generally put Harry/OC fics in three categories, completely AU ignoring HBP and DH, Post HBP and Pre HBP. Post DH I can't possibly see Harry falling for someone else, leave alone marrying her. The boy was completely devoted to Ginny.
Even though I don't ship h/hr and neither do I find it belvbl, but still post DH I'd still give some possibility to something happening between Harry and Hermione, provided Ginny and Ron are no longer in the scene. But Harry and some half baked OC character, seems completely unbelvbl, that too when Ginny is apparently still in love with him.
So either you put a warning saying AU post HBP or change Harry and Ginny's dating history completely.
Just to let you know I am not a hardcore h/g shipper and even without the bias I can't see anything real about this story.

Author's Response: This had me thinking, and I now know what I'm going to do. I wasn't sure how I was going to put it, but I figured it out in the end.

As for the 'cho' thing you were talking about, I was going to do it, but I've just read so many fics w/ Cho being fiery that I decided to make it Ginny. She just seemed like the one who would fit that in my eyes. Some other readers agreed w/ me, and of course others were on your side. That's just all up to reader's preference.

I'm going to make some changes to this in the near future, so if you feel up to it, check it out and give me ur opinion on it. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #33, by IamMolly Destination: The Burrow

29th November 2010:
Okay, so you really don't like poor Ginny, why else would you bash her character?! I mean for godsake JKR made her grow out of her childish stalker like phase and honestly she doesn't come across as someone as obsessive and hell bent on getting the man she loves especially if he is married to someone else (well I have problems with that plot point as well, but I'll forget that for the moment).

When you are writing fanfic shouldn't you take some canon evidence into account? She didn't hound Harry or try to break him and Cho up? You want to read a good story that has Harry seeing someone else, go read 'Seeking Ginny', perhaps that will give you some insight into her character. Though most of this story was written before HBP, but even then the author has done a wonderful job.
You story's main problem is chracterization. I can't recognize Harry as the DH Harry at all, I could replace his name with Dean and tell myself its all AU the fic would seem relatively readable.
I made it this far and actually thought I'd give you the benefit of doubt and read you previous fic to understand this Elizza chick and Harry's motivation for breaking up with Ginny and well I have to say I felt really bad for all the characters.
Harry breaks up with Ginny to protect her, forgets Voldemort and runs to save her when Bellatrix shoots a killing curse at her, she continues with the DA, waits for him during the war, he pines for her during the horcrux hunt, literally comes back from the dead because he sees a hope for his future with her and then breaks up with her after two years to marry some new chic within eight months??? Gosh! he's the most screwed up character I have ever seen!!! And defintly not in the least likeable or Harry like for that matter.

The less I say about the break up scene and Harry's sudden love for Elizza the better!

Ron is okay with the way Harry treated his sister and so are the rest of the Weasleys, why?

Honestly, I think the only reason I read this was because I am sitting at home with a cold and nothing to do. Good luck with your story, I might have sounded a bit mean, maybe its the cold or perhaps seeings someone mangle my favorite chracters brought out in me. But, try and take it as constructive criticism and work on your characterization a bit, actually a lot. Good luck

Author's Response: Imma go over this one, mark my words. I reposted it, just because it had been a year since, and only went over some grammatical errors. But due to this review and my last one, I need to change some more things. Check the recently updated fics every now and then, because you'll see this one up in the future. Thanks for the review

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Review #34, by sparklesgirl101 Crossing Paths

25th May 2010:
I love love love love this story. While I am getting frustrated at Harry I still can't wait for your next chapter,Please please post soon!

Author's Response: I'm about to post sometime this week or next. Don't know when it'll get through the Q, but time will tell. Hope u get time to catch it!

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Review #35, by Sabrina_Hilling15 Crossing Paths

7th January 2010:
Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm sorry, but like I said, I'm not the biggest fan of Ginny in this story. I'm so glad that Harry and Eliza fixed things and everythings okay now. :) Update soon!

Author's Response: I'm really having a ball writing this "series." I really look forward to writing after school, now.

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Review #36, by Faithalong Crossing Paths

21st December 2009:
amazing story!! keep going i realy want to see what Ginny is going to do now!!

Author's Response: I really can't wait to see what happens, too...oh wait, I'm the author! Guess I decide what happens, huh? :)

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Review #37, by Harry and Ginny Crossing Paths

10th December 2009:
it's getting better this story!!! what is Ginny going to do now? will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I think I'll update sometime this month. Hope you check out my next chapter.

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Review #38, by lilyluna Crossing Paths

10th December 2009:
Great chapter!! Keep them coming... :)

I think that this is ur longest one yet!!!

Author's Response: Man, I'm finally replying to this. I plan on having the next chapter out sometime this month. Keep on checking, and thanks for reading!

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Review #39, by adam wiggins As the days go by...

27th November 2009:
yea i find myself checking this one often to see if its been updated yet

Author's Response: Just updated it a second ago. it should come out da Q sometime the first week of December. glad u liked it!

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Review #40, by White Eagle As the days go by...

22nd November 2009:
Can't wait to read more! How many chapters do you think are still to come in this story?

Author's Response: Ummm...I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I put this in as a novel or novella, so im not sure. I aiming for somewhere around 20+, but i don't know. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as i can.

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Review #41, by Harry and Ginny As the days go by...

22nd November 2009:
loved this chapter and now, i have to wait to read more right? i hate that part, lol. seriously, please pretty please update soon!!!^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: yeah, i will right now, no kiddin. thanks for reviewing all for each of these chapters. Really, it helps me keep motivated and stuff. i'll have the next chapter up as soon as i can.

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Review #42, by lilyluna Lost and Found

7th November 2009:
It's me again!! :) I was wondering when u were going to post your next chapter? And also do u have this story on fanfiction[dot]net and if so what is your penname so I look u up?

Author's Response: I just put the next chapter in the Q. Sorry it took me a bit...writers block. I don't have this on fanfic[dot]net. Sorry, ive only been doin hpff.

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Review #43, by Harry and Ginny Lost and Found

17th October 2009:
i liked how Harry went to look everywhere after Eliza. great chapter u have here. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: yea, i'll try and get the next one up asap. thanks for keeping up with this fic. it really helps with my writing style.

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Review #44, by lilyluna Lost and Found

14th October 2009:
I was wondering if this would be a H/G story??? Please let it turn in to that!!!

Author's Response: I don't know yet. I'm sort of leaning toward's that, but I'm not sure. I've started working on the next chapter, but i don't know when that'll be up either.

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Review #45, by Miss Weasely Lost and Found

6th October 2009:
Hi!
Honestly I had stuck with the story so far coz I was thinking it was eventually headed towards canon H/G pairing, looks like I was wrong:( so anyways I won't be following it anymore. But you do have an interesting plot, pity it doesn't match with my reading preferences. Anyways you are good writer, I do hope you write some canon pairing stories even if they are AU in future:) Good luck

Author's Response: Ah well, thanks for sticking with the story for so long! Please drop by if u have the urge to anyway! who knows, it might be to your liking, right?

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Review #46, by lilyluna21 Destination: The Burrow

3rd October 2009:
GREAT STORY SO FAR! CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!!!

Author's Response: I just updated that fic tonight, and i think that it'll be viewable for the public sometime tomorrow or the next day.

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Review #47, by Harry and Ginny Destination: The Burrow

30th September 2009:
i still wonder where is Eliza but i look 4ward to read what is the next part of Ginny's plan. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yea, Ginny's got her plan all ready. I'm planning of putting more of that in future chapters. i've got the next one all typed up, and i'm pretty sure u'll like it as much as this one!

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Review #48, by lilyluna21 Destination: The Burrow

30th September 2009:
love you story! post soon!!!

Author's Response: If the Q works with me, then i'll have it out sometime next week...if not, well, point is, ive got it all typed up and ready to go!

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Review #49, by Harry and Ginny An Old Married Couple

19th September 2009:
definitely interesting and i bet Harry was a little jealous (even if he didn't admitt it) and Harry and Eliza having a row is good 4 Ginny... i look 4ward to read more of this great story. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I've got my next chapter almost done. I'll be able to update sometime today hopefully.

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Review #50, by harrymylove Tryouts at last

8th September 2009:
great story, can't wait to read the rest of it

Author's Response: I'll get writing as soon as I can. Thanks for reading!

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