meh... nothing special.Author's Response: sorry to hear that Report Review
A bit better than the last chapter, but they're too short and something seems to be missing.Author's Response: They get longer don't worry Report Review
It was alright, but lacking Joanne Rowling's "magic" touch.Author's Response: well who does... Report Review
I didn't know that you are still updating this story. I liked this chapter and am glad to see Neville becoming more of a leader in DA.Author's Response: Yeah sorry about that, I will try to do better next time. The next one is approaching completion. Thanks for sticking with me and the story Report Review
I like it! I'm gonna review once, instead of every chapter, but I think i'll like it!Author's Response: Cool thanks. Hope you enjoyed it Report Review
Poor little Jess has no idea. I like that Neville and Ginny are so candid but the whole situation is very unfair to the eleven year old. "Magic is Might" still makes me grind my teeth. I hope the DA will soon get to it... looking forward to them kiddies pulling off some serious I-detest-Voldemort-and-everything-he-stands-for-isms.
Generally, I very much enjoy your story.
Particularly the DA and the leaders thereof.
I love this perspective.
Hogwartsian situations don't have the capability to disappoint.
Cheers.Author's Response: thanks so much for all ur reviews, i had given up on getting more till the nextchapter was released. I hope u enjoy the rest of my chapters and keep on reading and reviewing!! Report Review
Hannah Abbott representing Hufflepuff. *sqee*
Sorry, had to.
I like how everyone keeps getting buoyed all over the place. It is so typical for one person to prompt others to do something. I liked the energy in this chapter. Luna is always so sincere and simple. She really is one to confide in.
"I must ask you to try to keep that temper of yours."
Yeah, right... I mean not only is she a Weasley, but she is... well. Ginny. Oh, iunno, I just really like that Minnie felt the need to warn Gin about the Carrows. It is endearing on her part; she cares.
"We must be a continual thorn in their side, invisible, undetectable but ever-present."
*Applause* Goodness, I've always been on Ginny's side. She's completely right, the most effect mischief can be managed by being as sly as a Slytherin. Heheheh. See what I did there? Hehehe. Sorry. I really like that they are all eager to be part of the society. Love it.Author's Response: keeping the energy going in such a long story is always a pain, so thanks for that Report Review
Poor Ginny. She was so eager for mischief at first and now she's all moping and morose. Although I am glad that she's bold and all, I wish she'd be a little more clever in the battles she picks. I hope she gets back to her usual self soon, a sad Ginny is anything but fun. Have I mentioned that I adore Luna, I am so pleased to know that Terry is for DA. It's quite synonymous with ProPotter and I am very much ProPotter.Author's Response: thanks :) Ginny really is a joy to write cos she is such a handful Report Review
I am so glad that the common rooms were left untouched. Gryffindor common room is always a safe haven.
I love love love Luna. And Ginny and Neville and Seamus. But really, Luna is an absolute gem. Goodness gracious. Hedwig's Quill has all the more significance now. I am so curious as to where Gin is scurrying off to with no effort at courtesy. Hhmm... I can only imagine the Room of Requirements...Author's Response: I thought it was important to have that little safe haven, especially as the actual book said that the Carrows couldnt get in unless they had help from the head of house. Report Review
Hogwarts is so eerily intriguing. "The Gryffindors were booing and hissing and even a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were joining in." Honestly, Inter-House Unity FTW. McGonagall knows that if they are so vociferous and explicit in their 'hate Snape' shenanigans than the student's will be sent to the Punishment Hander Outer Carrow. Gah, I dislike that man. I like that Jess is in the same house as Luna - it was clever of you.
I love that when Drew was sorted the Gryffindor elation was so much that "he was in danger of being smothered." One Gryffindor, honestly; the ministry is nothing if not effective.
Growing on me, this story is.Author's Response: Hogwarts is divided here, its kinda cross-section of the wizarding community i think Report Review
*Applauds for Gin Weezy*
Ginny inevitably makes me grin, but most particularly when she attacks arrogant Slytherins and mentions my favourite heroic boy wonder.
From Mafoy's perspective, it would look like Harry is merely on the run - I am exceedingly pleased that you've managed to have him state it.Author's Response: Malfoy is playing a relatively subordinate role in this story, but he does of course have his part to play... Report Review
Aw! I love defiant Neville. I am growing quite fond of this story. Ginny is so entertainingly brazen and candid when she speaks. Luna is always interesting - have I mentioned I quite adore her?
Snape! It's almost jarring to see him from this POV again. Alecto and Amycus still make me cringe with spite.
*excitedly moseys on to read next chapter*Author's Response: thanks, Ginny is a fun character to work with Report Review
I don't believe it at all. I don't believe that Percy'd be like that or that the Express would be a serpent. It's a bit too literal. I like that Mrs. Longbottom stepped up for Jessie, though I am quite sure that she is Frank's mother and Alice's mother-in-law.
I am so severely upset at Percy at the mo'.Author's Response: yeah that has been pointed out before, I need to alter that at some point. I wanted Percy and the Express to be like that to set the scene and create an oppressive atmosphere, I agree tho that it is a little far-fetched but then so is most stuff in hp! Report Review
Luna seems too dreamy already. Graciousness, do I love her. But really, even severely agitated, I'd think that Grandmother Longbottom would be kinder to her only grandson. I like meek pre-DH Neville - he is so terribly endearing. Note that Neville is yet to be able to apparate despite being 17.
Cheers.Author's Response: unless I am very much mistaken, and i don't think that i am, you can apparate when u are 17 cos u come of age at 17 in the magical world. I remember Uncle Vernon snorting at this. Thanks for taking up the story Report Review
Hi! Long time no chat! It's great that you're keeping going with your story, do keep it up! I'm glad we got to see Draco again, I remember his last run in with Neville was so interesting I've been wondering when we would see him again! I wonder what he's thinking and what he's been doing with himself? But I guess we might not find out since he's not really the centre of the story here.
I wonder why you put that bit about Jess in here? I wonder what use you have for her character, as it really doesn't move the plot much in this chapter. What I would've done would be to tie it in to part of a major scene, rather than put it as a separate scene like that, cos it sort of leaves the reader wondering why that section is there if it doesn't contribute to the overall unity of the chapter, you know? I like the way you portrayed the arrest of Luna, poor girl. And we got to see a lot more Ginny in this chapter too, I liked her speech at the end of the DA meeting and on the train, which contributes to her character developing.
Good chapter all in all!Author's Response: I had wondered where you had got to! Ive nearly done the next one and it should be up for validation soon. I was once told that nothing in a story should happen for no reason, so stay tuned for that one.
I think what you say about tieing in the scene is a good one, and I'll try and do that more often in future.
Thanks for your review, they always give me something to think about Report Review
10/10Author's Response: I think the odd cliff hanger is good, horrible yes, but good nonetheless. Thanks for the review Report Review
In TOW, not in toe. It means "following behind." The atmosphere is oppressive. I can actually feel it. It has settled like a wet blanket over that school. That's good writing. I shall read on.Author's Response: Hope you keep reading till the end! well the end of whats been written so far Report Review
It's like everyone knew Neville grew a pair except for Neville himself. Looks like the framework for his own heroics has been established. Meanwhile, Ginny stands by her man. I shall read on.Author's Response: Without Harry there, Neville is struggling a bit, but he has it in him Report Review
I love a good subversion, especially when the chief conspirator is madly in love with the #1 fugitive. That's romantic stuff.Author's Response: This is an important theme of the story, glad you're enjoying it Report Review
Ew! The Hogwarts Express outfitted like the...ew...Dark Mark? That's just creepy. I love it! It's an artful way to set the tone for what should be a very dark tale. Good writing.
PS: Gotta LOVE Augusta Longbottom, but Frank is her son--Alice is her daughter-in-law.Author's Response: oh god I can't believe i made such a stupid error, thanks for pointing that out. I'll change it immediately Report Review
this is an excellent story keep it up! update soon!Author's Response: thanks ;) The chapter is nearly done! Report Review
ooh, thank god ur updating!! =D
i luv this story cuz i hvnt read any others like it, and its just follows DH so well!!
great chap! 10/10 update soon!Author's Response: I'm sorry for my speed of updating. The chapter was ready 3 weeks ago, but I had lots of problems posting it.
The next one will take a while, but t'will be soonish. Thanks for the review Report Review
Hello! What a great chapter! I love the ad the DA wrote on the quidditch pitch! I just have a few comments that might be helpful, please feel free to either take it or not...
"It brought back a semblance of normality, a window back to previous years when the castle was a more homely place." -- what a lovely sentence!
"an important clash" -- it's a little hard to understand this phrase, do you mean that it was an important match to decide the scores, or do you mean the rivalry between the house was significant?
"There was chattering and jollity aplenty" -- should "was" be replaced by "were"?
When Ginny went into the room where the Carrows and Luna were, I expect her to observe more on what's happening to her friend. Are they questioning Luna? Is she tortured? What was she doing, other than being shaken and unhurt? Was she looking defiant, because she wouldn't answer their questions, or was she looking calm and serene as always? Why was she shaken? We've never seen Luna scared, what could they have done to scare her so much? You've always known your Luna so well, it would be great to see more of what actually is happening.
I like the way you portray Lavender and Neville's conversation at the end, your characterisation are great as always.
Hope to see an update soon! Til next time!
AppoAuthor's Response: I do absolutely love nice detailed reviews. I wish more people left ones like that.
'Important clash' was sposed to mean both of what you meant, but i take your point.
I'm not grammar nut, but i think the 'was' is correct.
As far as Luna goes, there is an awful lot of mystery going around. JK never reveals much about her, much of it is guess work. The next chapter is very Luna centred.
Thanks a lot Report Review
Great chapter! Glad to see Neville taking the lead!Author's Response: Had to happen soon! Thanks Report Review
Great chapter, please keep on writing!Author's Response: thanks :>) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection