Reading Reviews for In the Distance of Bravery
  
65 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Jchrissy 4

1st November 2012:
Hi darling! Iím going to do a running review for this chapter, I hope you donít mind!

This first section. Oh. My. Gosh. Youíve made my day. Pippa is insane. Ted is insane for marrying her. If we donít see something else about her.. Iím going to start thinking the manís a lunatic. Even he canít think a pretty face is worth her annoyance. Poor poor Lucy. And Scoprius is terrible!! But I guess thatís what she gets for saying that heís her boyfriend :P

I loved that you started that first section right where we left off, because it was just such a humorous note to begin on.

For some reason I really like Rose, haha. Iím excited to see more of her.

Thereís so many left over emotions, so much tension in this section with Teddy. I feel so sad for Lucy, because we know what itís taken her to try and forgot him. The line about her knowing heíd be okay without her, how sheíd always known, was so awesome in itís sadness!

I really loved this flashback. I see that Vic and Ted are still together, and I really feel myself disliking her. Sheís so beautiful and conniving, it seems Teddy has a fault for loving gorgeous faces and forgetting about the personality flaws underneath. The way you described Lucyís hurt was perfect. It felt so raw and real, poor girl :(.


Okay, this section at Clemís house did kind of confuse me. I might just be missing something.. only because I canít figure out how Clem is Andromedaís sister. Unless sheís her sister in law from Ted Tonks side.. but her last name is Black. Again I totally just might be missing something, so feel free to tell me to shush if I am ;). I loved the remarks about Lucy painting though. Again, it goes a long way to show what kind of heart break she suffered because she no longer paints.

Ah! He broke up with her and everything can be okay but we know itís not! I really loved the ending!

I think this was a really strong chapter, mídear. Again, my only critic was the scene at Clemís house because I was just trying to piece together whose who in my head. But the flashbacks didnít jolt me, and it seems completely natural that she would have so many covered in the town, then the home, where all these memories happened.

I think the plot is moving at a decent pace, letting us to get to know our characters and piece together what happened so many years ago.

Iím looking forward to chapter 5!

Author's Response: Hi there! I am SO sorry for the delay in answering this! I've been backpacking for over four months without internet, so it's been a while coming.

I'm so pleased you liked the chapter. I know, Clem is... She's difficult. I'm bending canon with her, which might be my own downfall. I just wanted to have another imagery on how imperfect people don't fit into this society. Clem is an imperfect part of a perfect family, which makes her an outcast, like Lucy. I'm trying to curveball it, but it might be a bit weak. I don't know yet.

Thank you for this wonderful review! It really means a lot xx


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Review #27, by LittleMissPrincess 4

28th October 2012:
hsudhfsuhksf this was beautiful. i've been waiting so long for this one. i wish there was more scorpius :D
rose? pinning after dom's guy?
how did lucy agree to that? aren't she and dom 'tight' ?

UPDATE SOON

Author's Response: YAY! Review-time! Thank you so much for reviewing! :) Dom and Luce are... they're not tight anymore. They used to be, but their relationship has crumbled, which will be explained soon :) Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot.

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Review #28, by daretodream 3

21st October 2012:
Ahhh!

What a great ending. What a fabulous, marvelous, FANTASTIC ending.

But seriously, who wouldn't just want to duct tape Pippa's mouth shut? I certainly would. I mean, sugar muffin, really? REALLY.

But that ending is absolutely magnificent. Scorpius is going to love this, I'm sure. I can't wait to see the reactions that everyone has. Oh my gosh, this is going to be marvelous!

Anyways, I also liked the flashbacks, once again, especially the one in which Ted said that he didn't think that he could fill Remus' shoes, not really. I can only imagine how hard that must be for him, not sure how is expected to live up to the legacy his dead father left behind.

I can't wait for the next chapter, especially to see what happens with this new "boyfriend" business.

~Cassie

Author's Response: Pippa is horrible. So, so horrible. I know hahaha sugarmuffin and teddybear... bvr.

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked this! And I'm pleased you liked the flashbacks again, I've been so worried about those! And exactly, Ted's life isn't easy, having to live up to his dead parents' fame.

Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot.


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Review #29, by daretodream 2

21st October 2012:
And so it begins!

She didn't even contact home for 5 YEARS? Wow Lucy, that's an awfully long time. I can only imagine how worried they all must have been about her, especially with no word from her.

I like your depiction of James. Especially the note about his hands being covered in scars. I thought it was a nice touch, and one that seemed especially fitting of Harry and Ginny's oldest son.

I also love the flashbacks. They're some of my favorite parts, with the young Lucy, showing her whole life. They really do help the reader get the background in a context that isn't completely overwhelming.

Keep up the good work!

~Cassie

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so happy you liked James! He's one of my favourites. And the flashbacks; I'm so happy you didn't find them boring. I've been so worried about this. Thank you so much for reviewing! It really means a lot.

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Review #30, by daretodream 1

21st October 2012:
Hello!

I could come up with a million excuses for why it took me so long to get here, but I think what is most important is that I am SO sorry, and I'm here now.

So, this was really intriguing to me. I'm so used to next generation being all fluff and joy, so this was kind of unexpected. I also don't think I've ever read something before where Ted wasn't with Victoire.

I like Lucy. She's strong and different and I LOVE that she is friends with Scorpius, though I'm not pleased with him, throwing her under the bus like that, even though it will advance everyone's careers. I mean, I can understand why he wanted to, I just feel badly for Lucy.

This is going to end horribly, isn't it?

All I can see is her reporting on the wedding and losing the relationship she had with all of her family members. Tearing her whole life apart. Oh no.

I can't wait to see what happens next! And again, sorry for being so late.

~Cassie

Author's Response: That's quite alright, dear! :) I know how life can sometimes catch you unprepared, so no worries at all.

I'm so pleased that you liked Lucy! and it was kind of a rubbish move on Scorpius's side, I agree. But oh well, he doesn't know half of it. I'm really pleased that you liked my take on it - and that it was different to anything you've read before. That's great! Thank you so much for reviewing! It really means a lot.


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Review #31, by Jchrissy 3

14th October 2012:
Hi darling! Sorry this review has taken me awhile! I think that the meeting with Audrey was awesome. I donít blame her for being upset! Just the tension we felt in those first sections was absolutely perfect. Though I donít think you need the small -- page break between section one and two, but thatís obviously a completely stylistics comments so feel free to ignore it.

Oooh I absolutely loved the memory! Itís given us a first solid look into what Lucy really feels toward Victoire. And now I find myself really curious as to what kind of person she really is, and how Teddy didnít realize then how much that Lucy cared about him. I mean I know sheís still a child at this point, but I think you teeter that line between best friends and more with her very well.

Which brings me back to my curiosity if Vic is that bad or if Iím seeing her through tainted eyes. I do wonder why Teddy stays with her, when he himself admitted that sheís manipulative and untrusting. Those are some pretty serious character flaws, and make for a terrible relationship. But sheís also gorgeous and Iím sure very sweet to Teddy, and manipulative, so maybe she finds out how to make it seem like the good outweigh he bad? Regardless I am really curios :P!

Ah! Ah! Memory number two! My heart!! It canít handle the feels! Phew. Must continue.

Okay so whatever issue Vic and Lucy had as children mustíve not been too bad. We see Vic has moved on and married with kids, Lucy seems comfortable with her, and I really just loved that bit of girl chit chat.

THE feels are killing me again. I really love these memories. I can feels so much innocent love between them and it just makes my heart ache. Also, with the headboy and you said like father like son. Iím curious about that. Remus wasnít head boy, is he referring to Harry as his father? And maybe Harry went back his seventh year and made head boy?

I HATE PIPPA. I wanted to punch her out of annoyance. Is she really this stupid or is she playing the - keep friends close and enemies closer, game?

And I really loved the introduction of Scorpius as Lucyís boyfriend! Jealousy is a funny thing, but I would have probably done the same thing myself.

This chapter didnít seem too long what so ever, and I think you ended it at the perfect place. I really wouldnít split it up if I were you. It all fits really well together, itís awesome.

And, your plot is moving along perfectly! I am really getting invested in this, and do hope you plan on updated!!!

Thanks for requesting, mídear!

Author's Response: Hi there!! No worries about the delay, I think I'm even more behind on my own reviews, so no hard feelings at all. Thank you so much for writing this wonderful, long review! :)

I LOVED that you picked up on the difference in the relationship between Vic and Luce! It's not a great relationship, but it's definitely a right sight better than before. Pippa is horrible, I agree. Thank you thank you thank you! I am so happy you liked this and didn't find it too long. Yay! I'm almosttt finished with the next chapter so I'm hoping to update soonish. Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot.


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Review #32, by lovergirl 3

8th October 2012:
Write more plzz I dying. Now reviewing. 4 the first 3 chapters

Author's Response: haha thank you!! I'm updating soon, hopefully :) Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #33, by ScorpiusRose17 3

7th October 2012:
Hi there again!

I really liked all the details and flashbacks in this chapter. I felt that it added well to the intrigue I have as this story builds. I was really able to get some insight on Lucy's past. Her past has affected her in so many ways and it is nice to see the past play along with the future here. Esepcially her mother. The plot is really starting to come more alive and unfold. Even though this chapter was super long, it held my attention throughout.

The characterizations of all the characters are spot on. I can't break it down to all of them because there are a lot in this chapter, but you did do a brilliant job! I also really enjoyed the give and take of the flashbacks here. They mixed well between now and then.

Keep up the great writing! I look forward to finding out what is going to happen next and what will unfold as the story continues!

:)

-SR17

Author's Response: I LOVED THAT YOU LIKED AUDREY. She's terrible and I hate her and love her at the same time. She's a bit like my own mother, actually. So yeah. This was great. Thank you so much for all your kind words. I'm so glad you liked the flow and give and take of the flashbacks. thank you so much for reviewing, this really means a lot.

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Review #34, by ScorpiusRose17 2

7th October 2012:
Hi there! I am finally here with your review! I am sorry that I haven't gotten to this sooner. Life has been crazy still.

I am really enjoying the plot and seeing it slowly unfold. I really like Lucy and am intrigued by her friendship with Ted and what happened those five years ago to make her run away from it all. The characterization is really well done. Each character I can see here has been handled with great care. I love the way you have Scorpius characterized. He is different than I have ever read. Lucy is an ongoing character that I find thrilling. She has so much mystery to her. Darren is a breath of fresh air and I am curious to learn more about him too. James is as I would always imagine him to be...James. :)

The flow of the chapter is great. I don't feel that it is messy anywhere especially when it transitions into a memory. It is great to get a glimpse into the past through these flashbacks and they flow nicely too. The length of the chapters shouldn't worry you. You have a lot that you are trying to convey and if it takes an entire chapter and 5000+ words to do it and do it right then I wouldn't worry. If you are worried and that is your main concern then I would suggest possibly splitting the chapters. I don't think that is the case though.

I am really enjoying this story so far and I think you have done an amazing job with your characters, description (which I am highly jealous of;) ) and keeping intrigue. Keep up the awesome writing! Always remember to write what makes you happy. If you do that the others who read your stories will know how much you love what you are writing about as well. :)
-SR17

Author's Response: Hi there! No worries! Life gets so busy sometimes. I am so, so pleased you liked the characters! I worry about that constantly. I love Scorpius, he's my little gem. That's great advice, by the way. I know it's so much harder to write something I don't like than something that I like. So yeah. You're so right. Thank you so much for all your great points. this really means a lot. :)

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Review #35, by megan~ 3

6th October 2012:
I cackled like a mad woman at the end of this chapter. I love this story, the way you write and how you portray the characters so, so much!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm happy you laughed haha I'm so bad at humour so this is awesome. Thank you so much for all your kind words, this really means a lot.

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Review #36, by Anon 3

5th October 2012:
Very well written! Please continue, things are just starting to get interesting.
Pippa is horrendous, I want to strangle her!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, Pippa is terrible! Thank you so much for reviewing, this really means a lot! Update coming up soon :)

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Review #37, by javct 3

1st October 2012:
First off, apologise for taking so long. For a moment, life caught up with me *shudders* but here I am! To review this amazing story!

You asked about the plot. I think that you don't need to be worried about the plot: you have a wonderful storyline with really good characters to follow it up.

I think that the flow is fine and you have managed to contrast the two timelines brilliantly. The flashbacks give the story more depth and I like how you haven't put them all in one chapter and that they're giving the reader one small insight at a time about Ted and Lucy previous relationship.

I enjoyed the characterisation. They are next-gen characters so they're pratically canon OCs because we only saw them in one chapter (and even then they were children). But the characterisation was really good. I like how not everyone greeted Lucy back as though she hadn't left them for years.

THE ENDING! WHY ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE ENDING! THE ENDING WAS BRILLIANT! It was, I fully recommend that you leave the ending the way it is. I laughed when I read the ending and kudo's to you because I never laugh in stories! (I'm an emotionless dalek)

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Hi there!

No worries! Life gets like that for me too, so I completely understand :) I AM SO PLEASED YOU LIKED THE ENDING! yay. That'd awesome. Thank you so so much I'm so pleased and you've eased my mind about so many things. Thank you!


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Review #38, by Jchrissy 2

28th September 2012:
This chapter went by so fast! I started it, then boom! In my head I wondered if it was even over 2,000 words, then I double checked the request and realized itís just about 5,000! Which means, not only did it hold my interest, but it completely engrossed me!

Okay, phew, onto the review time. Well, Iíve already answered if it help my attention ;). Onto the flow. I didnít find anything that seemed off/jolted me. The flashback, as well as the smaller memory, all slid in very nicely and I think that they really enhanced the chapter. It just made Lucyís pain so much more real, like it was sitting at the surface able to blow at any second.

I think youíre doing an awesome job with details, as well. Not only in description, but with plot. I find myself really stuck on trying to figure out just what happened, which is perfect because that makes me want to continue reading. So that kind of ties into your plot question; youíre introducing new details with every chapter and getting me more attached to the relationship these two had and what made it crumble. So I think that definitely counts as your plot moving along nicely. I want to keep reading, and thatís the most important part of all this.

I think James was perfect. Perfect! Lucy not only hurt him, but she hurt their family. I see all the Potter (and Weasley) children as being very loyal. So Lucy causing so much pain by taking off and never stopping by really wouldnít be something James could quickly get over. Especially if heís half as brooding as his paternal side ;).

Darren really interests me so far. So he dated Dom, heís close with the family.. and honestly thatís plenty for now. I hate having details about new characters shoved down my throat. It makes them seem unrealistic and I think itís very important to introduce them slowly and naturally. Like you did with Lucy asking if heís talked to Dom. That fit perfectly with the conversation and now we know he was a seriously boyfriend of hers. So, although I donít know much about him to really pin his character, I like what I do know and am excited to find out more :).

This really just feels like a very solid second chapter. I really donít have any CC to point out in this. There was plenty of detail, the dialogue was natural, grammar was flawlessÖ and again (most importantly) Iím still investing with these characters.

Jami

ALSO! Thank you so much for the featured reviewer nomination ♥

Author's Response: haha you're very welcome! I thought you were an obvious choice, so there :)

You have no idea how happy this review made me. I'm a wobbly mess right now... There a just so many things that you got. I'm so, so pleased with this. The way i left out details, only fleshing out a little - I agree, it gives a much more natural feel doesn't it? Plus, it keeps the reader interested. And you have no idea how glad it made me to hear that you didn't find the length too much - I was so worried about that. And most importantly, I'm so pleased you liked Darren! It's always tricky introducing original characters to people and getting them to like them, so this just made my day. Just, overall this was such a comfort to read. SO thank you so much for this amaaazing review! This really means a lot!

Emma xx


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Review #39, by Cant be botehred to log in 3

27th September 2012:
NO! Oh LUCY! no no no haha this was so good! update soon, pls

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm happy you liked this!

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Review #40, by True Author 1

26th September 2012:
Hello! It's True Author with your requested review! =]
Yay! Finally a nice Teddy Lupin fic! :D Seriously, you rarely find something good about him. Anyways, I loved your plot and the way you're writing it. you are writing this in present tense which is a risk as many people don't like reading it, but I must say you did it very well. this story has a catchy starting. readers wonder why she's freaking out like that haha. =] I found no grammar mistakes.
but still, you need to work on Scorpius. if he's supposed to be an understanding and nice boy, you need to write about his nature. then this story will take another step towards perfection.
otherwise, this was great! :)

Author's Response: Hi there! I actually didn't know people don't like reading present tense. I love writing in it and I actually almost never write in past tense. Oh well.

I'm so happy you liked the story so far. I haven't read any Ted Lupin fics before, so this is just my own assessments of the guy. It really means a lot to me that you liked him!

About Scorpius. Well, he isn't supposed to be an understanding guy or a nice guy. He's a broken guy who gets Lucy's situation but doesn't know how to express himself adequately. He's very British, coming from a very proper home where emotions were not discussed. So he's not really going to be expressing all of that in the first chapter. He's complex, and the story will take him on and flesh him out more as the story proceeds. He's snappy, guarded and puts on a front.

Thank you so much for your review! :)


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Review #41, by Anjj 3

24th September 2012:
I love the story so far! Can't wait to see what happens next, haha ;)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Hopefully I'll get to update soon :) Thanks for reviewing! It really means a lot.

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Review #42, by somegirl 3

24th September 2012:
oh no, no, no, lucy! he bats for the other team! jealousy is a bitter beast, ain't it just.
wonderful chapter, as always!

Author's Response: Yup... Lucy being a bit silly/stupid and jealous. Thank you so much for reviewing! It really means a lot. xx

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Review #43, by LittleMissPrincess 3

24th September 2012:
EHMAGOD.
PIPPA IS SO ANNOYING.
AND AHAHHA I THINK ITS HILARIOUS THAT LUCY WOULD MAKE PEOPLE THINK THAT SCORPIUS IS HER BOYFRIEND. i sort of expected that, i suppose.
BUT THIS IS GREAT. PLEASE UPDATE ASAP.
also, where will rose be, in this story?

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so happy you liked this! And yeah, this is not going to turn out well in any way...

Thank you so much for reviewing! It really means a lot!


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Review #44, by Emgenline 1

23rd September 2012:
You have done such a wonderful job, trying to explain what painting feels like.

Author's Response: Thank you! There will be many more scenes with painting, I promise. I loved writing that part so I'm happy you liked it. Thank you so much for leaving a review. It really means a lot.

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Review #45, by megthechef43 2

18th September 2012:
Sunflower,

I was a little sad when I realized you only have two chapters posted so far because I'm ready to read more of your story. It is intriguing to me. I'm enjoying the plot so far.

I'm horrible with Next-Gen because I haven't read much of it so Darren baffled me a bit. I feel as though I am missing something and I don't quite understand the closness between Darren and the Weasleys/Potters. Is this something that will be explained with time?? I got the feeling that he is Dom's ex but is that the only connection? I did like Darren quite a bit. He seems warm and caring.

I smiled to myself at the Scorpius's delight to be stuck in the backseat with James. Scorpius was amusing though why did he not apparate himself and Lucy to somewhere to get help?? Just wondering.

James' character was great in this chapter. He treatment of Lucy makes me wonder even more to what actually happened between Ted and Lucy.

BTW... I really like the flashbacks, they add so much depth to the story between what is going on now and what happened in the past.

Flow was good. I didn't get hung up at any point in the chapter and nothing stood out to me. I could tell this chapter was a filler but you had so much going on and information that it wasn't distracting or uninteresting.

I can't wait to read what you have in store for Lucy next.

Meg

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Darren is Dom's ex, yes. He actually lives in Grimsby, but with his mother. He's Ted's best friend and kind of got pulled into the entire group through Ted. Ted, Darren, Vic and Molly were all in the same year = Darren knows all of them. Ted & Luce were together + best friends, so they know each other too, and Darren met Dom through Vic and Luce. I hope that made sense, if not, it'll get explained soon enough.

You're actually right about Scorpius; he could have just apparated couldn't he? Hm... Gotta look into that.

I'm so happy you liked James! He's a doll. And I'm glad the flashbacks weren't jarring. Yay. Thank you so much for all your kind words. This really means a lot. xx


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Review #46, by ScorpiusRose17 1

18th September 2012:
Hi there! I am finally here with your review and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get to, I have been quiet sick.

Okay so first of all the plot...I love it! I think it's great and refreshing. I know that you are worried about it dancing that fine line between cliche or not, but I really found this unique and highly intriguing. I really do want to read more and I found myself being pulled in by the story line, the summary and just the way you write. It's brilliant.

I really liked teh characterization. I can sense that shy Weasley side and it is so sweet, but there is also a hint of a temper there that doesn't want to surface. Scorpius was funny. I liked how he responds in the story and he is a little over the top, but in such a great way it doesn't take away from him.

I didn't feel like any of this seemed dull or overused. I think you are working with a wonderful angle here and it is honestly different.

The flow of the story was well done. I didn't see anything that I would consider messy during transition as I read along.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm happy you liked this :) I was so worried about the plot, but you've calmed me down. Thank you for all those kind words - it really means a lot.

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Review #47, by Calypso  1

15th September 2012:
Hello, this is CalypsoJenna from the forums, here with your requested review!

Wow- I was really impressed by this! You have a truly lovely writing style that seems to flow beautifully and made your writing really enjoyable to read. I thought you did a good job of writing this in perhaps a lighter style than usual (you mentioned in your A/N that you usually write more serious things), without making it too fluffy.

I actually really like that this is a Lucy/Ted pairing- I enjoy reading more unusual Next Gen pairings and it's always nice to see some of Lucy, or Molly, or Roxanne instead of just Rose!
Thinking about it, I suppose the plot is a little bit cliche, but honestly you write it so well that it hardly seems to matter! And your characters seem developed enough for them to carry it through.

Which brings me to your characters! They were one of my favourite things in this fic. Lucy is instantly likable and her rapport with Scorpius sounds exactly how friends talk. I'm going to mention Miranda Catchglove because I think she has an awesome name, and your portrayal of Dominique was good as well. It was an original idea to have her living in France- I would love to see more of her relationship with Lucy. They both feel like really interesting people.

I didn't feel that your flashbacks upset the flow of the story at all- they seemed to blend in really well and have piqued my curiosity about what happened between Lucy and Ted. In the second one their relationship seems so beautiful. I will be interested to find out what takes them from that to the pink rose invitation- which was also well described.

The only thing I would say is that- as a first chapter- it does seem very long, and I guiltily admit to having been put off fics before because of their length, especially in a starting chapter.

However, you did manage to keep the interest up all the way through with some wonderful characters and incredible writing. I loved the sort of climatic ending to this chapter, and I think this story could go some wonderful places. Thankyou for requesting!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hi there!

Exactly, my plot is the tiniest bit cliche, which has been my worry all along. I'm so happy you thought my characters carried it through! That's what I've been hoping to achieve: to make what could be a cliche good because of my writing. I'm so happy you liked it.

And Miranda Catchlove is awesome haha I'm so happy you liked my name for her. There was never really any doubt that she had to be named that. She's such a character and I love writing her.

Dom and Luce are going to have loads of scenes together - Dom plays a big part in all of this mess, so you can look forward to that!

About the length: I know. I've been so worried about it and I know that some people are totally put off by such a lengthy chapter. I'm happy you didn't find it boring anyways. It's one of my great weaknesses: I can't limit myself to 2500 words.

I'm so happy you liked this and thank you so much for this wonderful review and all those kind words. Thank you!


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Review #48, by javct 2

15th September 2012:
Back again!

Okay, you may or may not have got me shipping these two -- I'm a sucker for a good-written childhood sweetheart story (maybe because I never had one)

Can I steal your talent? Honestly, it's hard to believe that you usually write more serious/angst-y stories. If this was the first story I read of yours, I would never had picked up on it.

As I read on this chapter, I think that it was better that you changed the protagonist because you couldn't have the sweet child-scenes with Rose and Teddy that you had with Teddy and Lucy.

I liked your characterisation of James. It was different to what he is normally portrayed as; I like how he had that Potter/Weasley charm (he reminded me a little of Fred, don't know why) but he didn't overdo (like he didn't think he was God's gift to woman and things like that). An odd joke here and there = a perfect James Potter II.

Just two things that I noticed in this chapter, one, why did they take a car when they, as wizards, could have easily have apparated there and saved a car-wreck and two, where did Scorpius go in the last half of this chapter? Now, those questions may be easily answered and I may have just missed it because I'm almost falling asleep as I type but I thought that I should just point this out :)

Another great chapter, can't wait for another one!

Jasmine! x

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm so happy you liked these two darlings! I love a childhood-sweetheart story, too! It's just so tragic and at the same time SO romantic.

I'm really pleased you liked the not so angsty side to my writing! You have no idea. I've been so hesitant to write anything other than my usual stuff, so this was such a relief.

I'm happy you liked James. He's such a gem. I think that's where the problem lies with some writers: overdoing characters. I really wanted to make him normal, but with a twist. (and trust me, he's got a MAYOR twist).

They took a car because Lucy doesn't apparate (she hasn't taken the test). It was mentioned in the previous chapter. She refuses to even side-along-apparate. Plus, she likes to have a chance to escape = Betty (aka. her precious car). Scorpius was by the car, watching Darren sweat. (YUM). Hah, I've just added a bit with him just now, I guess you're right he went missing a bit after greeting Darren. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot.

-- Emma xx


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Review #49, by javct 1

15th September 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

This is very different to your normal stories. I like it. Most writers have a special type of genre that they write better than others (romance, angst etc.) but there is a small minority that are just really talented in everything they do: you're in that small minority. Honestly, I am really enjoying this so far (and I usually detest humor; give me angst!)

I can see why you would have had to change the protagonist though (with an eight year difference, though that doesn't seem like such a big age gap to me), anyway! I strangely like this pairing, I don't even know why. I don't give much thought into next-gen pairings, truthfully, I don't even know many (except for, of course, ScoRose) but this pairing is different, and I like different,

Cliche's, hmm, the only cliche that stood out for me was that Scorpius was gay; it's not cliche'd that he is gay but because she has a gay best friend. I didn't really pick up any more cliche's, because I don't find her working for a magazine cliche'd, for me, it's only cliche'd if he worked with her and she was swooning over him behind closed door (which thankfully, your story DID NOT do)

As you can probably tell, I tend to ramble in my reviews (it also doesn't help that I'm tired :P) Onto the next chapter!

Jasmine

Author's Response: Hi there!

I know, it's SO different - and challenging! But somehow I like writing this? It's easy. But I do have the occasional urge to write some good old angst and I'll write a oneshot just to get it out of my system, hah. I'm glad you liked it. My readers haven't ever read anything like this by me before so I was a bit nervous about all of this. This pleases me to no end.

I love Lucy too. She's not really appreciated in the fanfiction world, yet somehow she really spoke to me. I had some help from TGS when I was trying to figure out who to replace Rose and she was just perfect. I wanted something different, which was also a reason why I chose to replace Rose. I haven't read that many NextGen stories so I thought Rose/Ted was an unusual pairing, but apparently everyone's done one? That kind of put me off it, too. That's why I didn't want to do a Vic/Ted or a Dom/Ted. I wanted something different and with Lucy I got it!

I know... I've been thinking about it, but I'm trying to make him not as gay gay as some people do with gay people. It's hard. I have a gay friend and he loves the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and High School Musical and he's a stylist. So in my head that's who I see when I see Scorpius. On the other hand, some of his boyfriends... my oh my. Some are gorgeous and totally manly and all. I'm trying very hard to waver from the all stereotypical image of gays. And no, Lucy is NOT pining for Scorpius hah.

I love rambles - this response was a total ramble. Thank you so much for your review! It was a great help.


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Review #50, by Jchrissy 1

13th September 2012:
Hi darling! Finally here for your review!

So, first of all.. I don't do cliches. Not in the way that I won't read a story if it's cliche, I mean I just don't believe in the anti cliche thing that some people seem so set on. We are all different writers and if something is used often, that means it's because it's good. Sure, it can get boring and monotonous, but a good writer can turn the most annoying cliche to the best story. Your writing is clearly very polished and you do an awesome job at giving me characters to relate to, so I really don't think you should worry/dread revolving into cliche land.

I am happy this is a Lucy story! I like reading about Rose quite a lot, but I've never read much of Lucy so I think it will be really interesting to be able to read a character that you basically created (which out having any canon personality to go off of).

With the flashbacks. Some people won't like them just because some people don't enjoy when the story is interrupted. I love them, I think it was a great breather to stop away and get a different picture, get an idea of what things were like. Will everyone like them? No. But it won't be because they are poorly written, just differences in taste. They transitioned in and out beautifully and it was clear what was happening. No confusion on my part!

I really can't wait to get to know more about the families. How do the Malfoys handle their son? Do they care that he's gay/journalist/best friends with a Weasley? How does Lucy do with being so far away from her family, emotionally and physically? I just think you've opened up a lot of great ideas here and can't wait to see where it heads to! I couldn't image writing a story on the wedding of the love of my life... when he's getting married to someone that's NOT me! Poor girl!

My only bit of CC, and this isn't even really that. I love long chapters, I enjoyed this one immensely. But for a first chapter, over 6,000 words may be a bit much for some people. Again, it didn't bother me and I loved it, so unless you've had people complain, I wouldn't worry about it. If you are concerned about that, my suggestion would be to not include the memory in this, and have it at the start of the next chapter and weave it into there. But, do I think this chapter is too long and did I become uninterested? Absolutely not.

I think this is a wonderful start and I'm excited to see where it goes!

Please feel free to request again! I know there isn't much in terms of characterization in this review, but as I continue to read and get a better handle on them, I'll be able to comment more on that :)!

Thanks for requesting!!

Jami

Author's Response: Hi there!

Aw I'm so happy you liked this! I really like your philosophy, actually. It makes sense. I think the reason I sometimes shy away from clichés in stories is because I've had some bad experiences with stories written badly that cling to clichés and nothing else. You've reassured me in writing this story and for that I'm grateful.

I'm so pleased you caught onto all the details of Scorpius and Lucy! They're both quite flawed and broken, which will be explained further when delving further into the story.

And I know about the length. It's one of my great weaknesses (and strengths?). I can't write short chapters so it's quite a challenge. I've been really worried about it, but at the same time I don't know how to cut it short. I suppose that I could cut one of the flashbacks out... Hm. I'll have to think about it. I definitely agree that it's on the long side.

This review was really great, thank you so much for all those encouraging words. This helped heaps! Thank you so much.


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