Reading Reviews for Remedy
55 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Traveler94 Chapter 1

19th December 2009:
This is a great beginning to a great story. You must continue. The only tip I have is to make sure you use description of how each person looks, wether it's getting dressed, laying down, or even talking. It helps build the picture. Great job.

Author's Response: Thanks! It's strange, sometimes I get too much of that - at least in my head. I'll keep an eye on it ;) Thanks for the review!

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Review #27, by Champion Chapter 4

19th December 2009:
Good story so far, update again soon plix plox.

Author's Response: Thanks very much!

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Review #28, by Lulu Chapter 3

1st December 2009:
Okay, favorite sentence: "Thatís how life should be. Carefree and filled with laughter". Loved this part. Stroke of genius - saying something true and everlasting.

And I loved the beginning - I found it funny (know it is tragic, but still). Just picturing. Couldn't help but smile a little.

Would like to say more, but battery on my computer is running out, and I can at the moment not find the cord :(

Great chapter - you are a great writer.


Author's Response: Stroke of genius. You know me, Louise :P No, it is kind of funny. It's okay. Thanks for the review!

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Review #29, by disgirl0 Chapter 3

28th November 2009:
*sniff* poor james...but finally!! he has realised that he needs to change!! im hoping that lily wont help him and then when she meets him after he's recovered, then she will be soo proud and might even fall for him once more...i loved it when he realised that he still loved her!! yeah!! but aww..he hurt lily, on accident!! i hope lily's not mad at him. i forgot to say tat i love lily's boyfriend's name..(hopefully that's all he is, and not her fiance)..because i dont like that name..sorry, but i really just dont, maybe its a personal grudge against this guy i noe by the same name but yeah...cuz then i noe tat lily wont be with him and she will be with james...

...i just read wat i wrote and it sounds wierd but i cant explain it any clearer than that...ahhaa...

Author's Response: He does need to change. Let's see about meeting again, shall we? :P I wouldn't say Lily is mad at him more... I can't explain it, but she's not sure of him at this point.
Marlon/Marly whatever is only her boyfriend. For now :P
Thanks for the review!

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Review #30, by Paloma Patil Chapter 3

27th November 2009:
'But he wanted himself to want the fresh air.' There's such a feeling of sadness and desperation in this line. Well done.


Author's Response: There is. Thanks for the review!

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Review #31, by peachsnapple Chapter 3

27th November 2009:
This is absolutely amazing. I love all the ending of this chapter, James deciding to make a change. It was so real and self-reflective (if that's a word? =D).

Please, post more soon. I can't wait to read.

Author's Response: Thanks very much. Yes, the ending is really a turning point, and I'd go as far as to say this chapter and its ending is the most impotant point in this story. Thanks for the review!

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Review #32, by Megan and Charly love HP Chapter 3

27th November 2009:
So amazing!! Please update soon!! This so made my day!! Awesome job!!! *claps and a cookie*- charly

Author's Response: Haha. Thanks a lot. Hope I can make some more of your days later! :P

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Review #33, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Chapter 1

24th November 2009:
Bonjour! It's me, Constants, from TGS, although you probably knew that. I'll get on with the review, shall I?

I liked this...I mean, I really really liked this. It was so cool, it made cool stories look not so cool. This is only the first chapter, and not a lot happened, but I loved it anyways.

So characterisations:

James- I'm still not sure if I like him, but you write him believable enough. I understand that he just lost feeling in his arm because of a Quidditch mistake, but when he kept on ranting on about how it was the 'most important thing in his life', I felt like yelling at him and saying, "Shut up! Look at Lily! She loves you!". As expected, he didn't listen.

I must say that I'm surprised with what you did with him. The majority of writers make him into a Lily-obsessed stalkerish person. Instead, HE SLAPPED HER! HE FREAKING SLAPPED HER! Hurrah! I nearly jumped out of my seat when I read it.

Lily- not totally expected. She was more careful with the way she spoke and acted, so I can't give an honest judgement. She sounded like she was frightened of James, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. Whatever you decide to do with her, I'm sure you will give them justice.

Their relationship has so many holes in it, that they can hardly be called a steady couple, but it is obvious that there is love somewhere in there. I wonder what happened between them, and if they will ever get back together. I'm sure they will, but how?

Besides James being an ungrateful git for not enjoying everything he has, I've never heard of him having a Quidditch occupation. Not totally canon, but it blends in with the story's plot well enough. Another thing I liked about it was that it was really deep and emotional; very raw.

No CC on the writing, because it was really good and never doubt that. In fact, I'm going to favorite it. There were a few grammar errors that I think are worth an honourable mention:

ex girlfriend-- ex-girlfriend

"...the only thing I liked doing"

Not really a grammar error, but my nasty teenage mind came into play and I imagined an entirely different scene. Please don't think less of me.

Well, that is it. Sorry I can't give you more constructive criticism, but it was really and your awesomness.


Author's Response: First of. Thanks very much for the review.
So on characterisations.
I realise James was a bit... emotional, but, hey, what would you expect from him? Lily is the most important thing in his life, he just doesn't know yet. They've been separated for years, and he's not sure of his feelings anymore. James didn't know he hit Lily, and he was taken by surprise. No excuse of course.
Lily. Well, the reason she's so careful is because of that blow. And of course, she's feeling very um, awkward in this situation. We've caught her on a bad time too, just wait and see ;)
Canon. Well, usually I'm a very, very, very canon person, but to make this work the way I wanted, he had to be a quidditch player (according to canon he didn't even have a job, but worked fulltime for the Order)
Thanks for making it a favourite! Yeah! :D Oh, don't worry, my mind sometimes creates scenes too that the writer probably didn't mean :P
Thanks again for this awesome review!

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Review #34, by KRenee Chapter 2

19th October 2009:
This was a really good chapter there are so many good things about this chapter, but I'd have to say that my favortie part was James' introspective on his feelings about Lily. I can't wait to see where you take this story.

Author's Response: Thanks! Haha, that's actually one of my favourite parts too, and I'm glad you like it so much! :D

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Review #35, by Amulya_HPfan Chapter 2

11th October 2009:
James is messed up. I need to put that out there. But, his interaction, his denial about Lily was well-written. And I'm rooting for him to finally go and tell her everything. Maybe take the chance for once. And let that little pink scar remind him of everything he obviously loves baotu her.

Author's Response: He is, but it gets a little worse :P Yes! haha, the denial part was so important for me to get right, and I'm glad you found it so. Well, James has his hopes and Lily will find him again :P Thanks for the review!

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Review #36, by Amulya_HPfan Chapter 1

11th October 2009:
Ah, I do so love your stories. I never though of this angle of James/Lily before, but they are honestly one of my favorite ships in the entire series. Mainly because of the sparks. But this is good. Really, really good!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I hadn't either, but I just wanted to write something outside of Hogwarts, and I like those getting back together stories. There's just something about it, and when putting a person in a weak place. It doesn't get better in my head. haha :P
Thanks for the review!

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Review #37, by tomriddlesgirl Chapter 1

10th October 2009:
amazing. I'm really curious as to what happened!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #38, by Miss Lily Potter Chapter 2

8th October 2009:
Hey. (: Here from the forums, with your requested review. :D

So. I really enjoyed this chapter. It was sweet, but also realistic, to both of them.

I like your language in this. Like, the bit about time. It was really interesting and beautifully written, I enjoyed reading it and I reread it. It was almost poetic.

There was one spelling-type thing I noticed--you said 'bear' when you meant 'beer'. Up right when he gets to Lily's, and he's talking about the pillow.

Aw. James is so sweet. Sort of... When he's talking about how he never healed the scar because it reminded him of her, and how he loves who she used to be...

Gah. Lily's got a boyfriend. This complicates things... Especially after he kissed her. d: Nope, I don't like Marlin. XD

Thanks so much for requesting, feel free to re-request when a new chapter's up!

Author's Response: Thanks again! Haha, funny, I enjoyed writing that time part, it fit. Ahh, bear and beer. I can't ever remember, that's one of the minuses about not being an Englishman. I really have to work to remember that in the future. The scar thing is actually one of mine - I have one the exact same place. It's a nice way to remember the good times. Glad you like that part. Haha. His name is Marlon, but you're not the last to not remember his name :P Trust me. Thanks for taking the time!

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Review #39, by SparkleInTheSunrise Chapter 2

4th October 2009:
Oooh...tension! So your flow is getting really good I didn't see any problem even with the blacking out bit. There were quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes but they'll get sorted when it's beta'd. Big improvement! Glad we're getting into the plot but be careful not to get bogged down in the small things and ramble on in James' thoughts. Post for the next chapter if you want the review!
Sparkle x

Author's Response: Yes, yes. Thanks a lot. I'll try to get a little more out of his head in the nect chapter, but well, he's going through a rough time and has got some thinking to do. Thanks for the review!

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Review #40, by spreaddapoo93 Chapter 2

2nd October 2009:
No! No chapter three yet??? I was just starting to get into my comfort zone here!!! :'( Oh well, Hope you'll update soon! Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Haha, sorry! It'll get there soon I hope! Thanks for the review!

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Review #41, by spreaddapoo93 Chapter 1

2nd October 2009:
Great beginning! Captivating, intriguing, very descriptive but not too overdone... Me like! A few typos here and there, but other than that, I'm sure it's fine...

Author's Response: Well, we can't all be perfect with the typos, eh? :P haha, thanks for the review!

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Review #42, by SparkleInTheSunrise Chapter 1

28th September 2009:
Interesting plot-starter. Can't wait to see how this unfolds. you've made a couple of grammar mistakes but nothing major. Your characterisation is good as you keep it consistant and we know immediately what type of James you are writing. It flows reasonably well. To improve try not to start most sentences with he or she. I think you've got the tension just right with Lily's carefulness and all.
Good start!
Sparkle x

Author's Response: Oh, thanks very much. I hadn't really thought about the he/she thing. I might have a look at it... Hm.. Thanks for taking the time!

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Review #43, by disgirl0 Chapter 2

26th September 2009:
Y james!! Y! he needs to stop drinking!! seriously!! and...aww..lily has a new boyfriend...well, she did mention moving on in the last chap, and i thought it was something like this but y!! and, again, y (!!!) must he come interrupt their moment!! and james, STOP (!!) denying that you dont love her!!!

anways, i just love these lines/parts:

It was soft and warm, just as he remembered it.

She was that Lily Evans he had wanted to do anything for. The Lily Evans he had loved with the whole of his heart. The one heíd have given his life to be with.

And deep inside, he still had a weakness for that person. He couldnít say no, and he wanted to do what she asked him to and wanted him to do. He wanted to please her, make her smile and happy.

And then he sat up, obeying completely. She had been studying his every movement, he knew. She still did. Her eyes didnít move away from his face and he knew that all of her attention was on him. The way he had always liked it to be, and he felt a certain wave of nostalgia rush through him, and it almost made him smile.

im absolutely in love with those lines/parts!! y?? iono, i just know that i love re-reading those!!

Author's Response: Of course he does. He's a drunk. Yes, James still has feelings (I don't know if love) for her, and these parts really underlines that too :P thanks for the review!

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Review #44, by Megan and Charly love HP Chapter 2

25th September 2009:
Oh I can't wait to read the next chapter! I love this story! It's so good! I feel so bad for James though! The poor thing! anyway, Please Please update soon!!! *Claps and tons of cookies* -Charly

Author's Response: I do too :( but he's kind of made his own bed, so... Anyways, thanks for the review

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Review #45, by Paloma Patil Chapter 2

24th September 2009:
That is SO sad. I hope you are able to update soon. This is a compelling story so far - I'm interested to see what happens between them next.


Author's Response: I'll try :P thanks for the review!

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Review #46, by Paloma Patil Chapter 1

24th September 2009:
That's simply a lovely moment between them.

I think this is my favorite line: "He closed his eyes, praying that was the last sign of weakness heíd show her." That was REALLY well-crafted, and offers great insight into James' state of mind.

Well done.


Author's Response: Definitelly. He doesn't want to seem weak to Lily, which he in a way does. Thanks for the review!

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Review #47, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl Chapter 1

5th September 2009:
Hi there, it's jetergirl from the forum! Sorry it's taken me a while to get over here - I didn't realize you had requested until today!

I really liked the first chapter of this story - it's great how you have just a little bit of mystery to keep people reading, but not too much to be confusing. You also did a nice job of characterization; I feel like I already know a lot about both characters, and it's only chapter one. That's always a good thing!

I usually like to come up with at least one thing to improve but I can't think of much... maybe the word choice here and there could be better, but that's not a big deal at all. I'm just trying to think of something to help you improve =]

I may actually be back to read more on my own, but you can definitely re-request when you update, if you'd like. Lovely job so far, I think you'll have quite a bit of success with this story!


Author's Response: Haha, it's okay :P
Ahh, the mystery. I didn't realise I was writing it before it happened, but you're right - it's important to find the perfect balance between too much and nothing at all.
Word choice... I'll have to think about that one :)
Thanks for the review and taking the time!

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Review #48, by Megan and Charly love HP Chapter 1

22nd August 2009:
AWW! This is so adorable! I loved it so far! you did an awesome job writing this story! really really really super great job! *claps and a cookie* Update soon*-Charly

Author's Response: Oh, thank you very much for those words! :D

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Review #49, by joy9494 Chapter 1

21st August 2009:
First of all I'd like to say how great it is that you're breaking out of the fluff genera that follows this era. I also like the mystery you have in the beginning it grabs the readers attention making them begging for more. You're description of Lily was also fabulous. I like the more adult appearance you gave her.

I'd like to pint out two grammar mistake that bugged me.

'having his ex girlfriend touching his feet were not something he fancied.'

'He could listen to her breaking.' I'm assuming you meant breathing,lol.

Other than that, though, your grammars pretty flawless, kudos.:)

I'm also liking the mature James, in most story's he's painted as a one dimensional character, lol. Anyways over all I really like it, it's well written and very original.

Author's Response: I like to stay original, and I'm so very glad you noticed it :) Oh, the start, I had never thought of it that way when I wrote it, but you're right. Well, they all have to grow up sooner or later and Lily was more fit for this role as more adult because it is more of that kind og story? The same for James, they've both grown. I've already sent the chapter into the queue again with those corrections. I just hate when it slips.
Thanks for taking the time to review!

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Review #50, by Phoenix_Flames Chapter 1

21st August 2009:
Vicki! Hello, dear! How are you?

This was awesome. Really. I loved your characterization of Lily. Her character is always amazing to me, but she is so amazing in this story.

Well done. I felt giddy and alive at the end. The short speaking and such. It was awesome, dear!

Really awesome.

Favorites! :D


Author's Response: Great, thanks! Yeah, I think Lily is the most interesting character in the whole era, and I'm glad to hear you like her :) Oh, thanks a lot for those nice words, you always make my day! :D

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