Reading Reviews for Gideon
  
150 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Capella Black Point Blank

12th March 2011:
Ah, dramatic irony has never been used better! I love how angry he is, and how sorry she is - it makes their later apathy and hopelessness all the more saddening, because they did try to be enough. I just adore how she keeps seeming a little stronger, a little more understandable, a little more forgiveable. It makes the earlier chapters make so much sense, and so makes them even sadder, that they end up that way despite all they did to avoid it.

Loving it, as you may have picked up on...

Author's Response: Once again, you hit the nail on the head! It's extremely hard to remember that she's actually getting stronger as we go through the novel, not weaker. It's basically backwards characterisation and it's probably one of the hardest things I've ever written. When I sit down to write a chapter I have to review everything I've already written and my story plan of what's to come just so that I can get Andromeda's characterisation right for that specific chapter. I'm constantly editing the plan too as I throw in accidental curve balls and fix plot holes. Very confusing at times!

She does seem to try and avoid the eventual outcome - she just wants him to stay with her, but this one simple thing is the one thing he can't commit to. It's tragic, really :P

thank you so much for the review!


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Review #27, by Capella Black The Café

12th March 2011:
He is just EVIL! OK, that's harsh, but seriously, what is wrong with Gideon that he keeps doing this? Why isn't he with her, if he loves her so much? How can he keep holding onto her and letting her go at the same time? Why does SHE let him be the most important thing in her life when she clearly isn't the same to him? I'm now getting scared, because unfinished plots... well, I don't deal with them well, and I feel this one may torture me.

OK, so clearly I am extremely involved in this story, but then that's what happens when one is written so very well. I love the way you keep showing us little bits more - I adore how at this point, Ted 'doesn't know', and I'm desperate to learn more about why Nymphadora looks like... well, yeah.

Epically good writing. Thank you again for giving me the heads up!

Author's Response: Oh Ted knows - she just doesn't think he does! She underestimates him hugely. She isn't very good at hiding her emotions from him. He knows her too well.

Gideon is a nasty piece of work. In my mind it's because he can't have her and he likes the control. I'm not even sure he'd want her permanently, because he very much likes to do his own thing. But yeah, it's the control and the manipulation he likes.

thank you so much for the review!


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Review #28, by Capella Black Bone Dry

12th March 2011:
Ooh! This was brilliant, though it made me have to stop at one point and check the Black family tree - I always get confused as to who's related to who. And I love, love, love your Narcissa - she's the absolute perfect blend of pure-blood nobility and sisterly affection. It's brilliant the way you make her seem so cold and yet at the same time make the bonds between them obvious and real.

I also love how we've learnt more about the twisted situation that Andromeda has gotten into - I'd been wondering for a few chapters how you were going to marry the concept of Ted being a second choice and of Andromeda having given up her family for him, and this explains it why, once again, leaving ever more questions still to be answered. That's what's so great - you're not taunting the reader by leaving questions unanswered for too long, but instead are creating new questions each time the last ones get answered. How do you even begin to do something like that? Why are you not writing OF full time and winning awards for them?

Author's Response: I keep having to check who everyone is too, and their dates and everything. It's all so important with this and I hope no one is really taking a note of the timeline because the maths and the dates probably don't add up ;)

I don't think it's necessarily that Ted's a second choice, it's more that he's a different person to Gideon. But she needs Ted more than she thinks she does.

Thanks for the compliment :) I have written a bit of OF, but it's not nearly as fun as writing HPFF :P I'll get there! thanks for the review, once again!


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Review #29, by Capella Black Red Sky at Night

12th March 2011:
Oh, I do love Ted quite a lot right now. Gideon however, I don't love so much - I can't wait to learn more about why he let things get like this, why he chooses to leave her over and over again, why he let her marry someone else - but for now, he seems pretty weak. I think that's what I love most about this story, the way each character has their own weaknesses, and how in a lot of ways, the 'other man', the cuckolded husband, seems like the strongest of them all. Such phenomenal characterisation, honestly shocking to find in something I haven't paid for. Actually, I rarely find it in the stories I have paid for. Hmm.

Author's Response: wow, that's an amazing compliment! I really appreciate all your feedback :)

Weak is an interesting word. I don't know as much about Gideon as I do about Andromeda and Ted, but maybe that's because they don't really understand him either. All I know is that Gideon likes the control ;)

thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #30, by Capella Black Antidote

12th March 2011:
"he stops being the husband and reverts back to his old role of best friend" - this line really clinched it for me in this chapter - it shows us so much of how their relationship might (always with the unanswered questions) have got to this point. The idea that he's settling for second place, that he loves her that unconditionally, is impossible to imagine, yet you make it so easy to see, so clear between them. It's a little awe-inspiring.

Quick typo alert: "the frown on her brown" - I assume you mean brow?

I love the complexity of this story, but more than that I love how simply it's explained. I'm constantly wondering about what will happen next, but never about what has happened so far (or the other way round - reviewing this is HARD!). Would say more, but, y'know...

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #31, by Capella Black Missing Pieces

12th March 2011:
Finally we get to see Andromeda and Gideon together, and wow, they're even more messed up like that than they were apart! Incredibly compelling stuff, particularly as, with each layer peeled back (I'm assuming he's off doing Order work, for example), more questions sprout through (why doesn't she go with him? what does he do?)

I particularly love your use of analogy. I'm extremely picky on what counts as unnecessary mushiness, and this was thankfully devoid of that entirely - the analogies flowed seamlessly into the overall narrative, and enhanced the atmosphere perfectly.

Really great chapter, which I'd wax lyrical over for longer if I wasn't so desperate to keep reading!

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #32, by Capella Black Poisonous

12th March 2011:
Oh. My. Goodness. That was just phenomenal. Seriously, you've created such a vivid, desperate picture here - once again we're left seeing everything that happens as if we were there, but still no closer to truly understanding why things are that way. I love how conflicted she is, how she understands completely that her behaviour and emotions are unfair on Ted, but how that changes nothing, how her love for Gideon is just too strong to make her be fair to Ted.

Ted is even more of an enigma though - his promise that Gideon will return, the hopefulness in his voice - it makes no sense in that wonderful "it's not supposed to yet" kind of way. I can't wait to see what happens there - how he came to be the endless stabilising third-wheel in their hopeless relationship. I already love him a little bit.

Finally, that last line is just begging me to click on - she failed HIM? I must know how that could possibly be true. Right now in fact.

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #33, by Capella Black Epilogue

12th March 2011:
Whoa! I'm so glad you were chatting about this, because I don't normally pick "other pairings", or "mature" stories, so I might have missed this, which would have been a major loss on my behalf! I love how you've written this - we know almost nothing, despite being at the end, so all the questions about why she loves Gideon, how and why he's hurt her, and everything about her living lover is still begging to be answered. Must go find out the answers!

Author's Response: thank you so much, I still can't believe you went through and reviewed every chapter! thank you so much :)

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Review #34, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Pride

10th March 2011:
Oh Ted -hugs- Forget Andromeda, come and live with me. I feel for him so, so much. I just want to rip Gideon to pieces, the good for nothing non-12+ word. He doesn't deserve her but then again, I'm not sure she deserves Ted. It's such a mess and I can only begin to think about how difficult it must be for them.

The shift in point of view was elegant and smooth. There was absolutely nothing strange about it; the two parts flowed together wonderfully so you have nothing to fret about there.

I'm so excited for what is to come, the way you're going to show how this strange love triangle came to be. I love the chronology, I love not knowing the root of the problem. I just love it all but most of all, you. You're so fantastic and I admire you so much.

-bows-

xx

Author's Response: Haha, poor Ted. Stuck with Andromeda when he could have you ;)

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Review #35, by LovelyMioneWeasley An Early Visitor

29th January 2011:
Marina--I threw in this chapter for fun because I had time for it!

It brought her no comfort now.-- I think that in the context of the paragraph you mean to keep it all in present tense so it should be brings instead of brought. Its about five paragraphs down from the top of the page ;).

Okay, well, this chapter was excellent and I loved the sudden appearance of Fabian. I was waiting for you to utilize his character; I really enjoyred the entire interaction between the two.

Fabian was a really good man and a really good example of the hard decisions we are forced to make in life. He could betray his brother and give Andromeda a chance to save Ted and Dora some grief or he could just keep his brother's confidences,allowing him to make his own mistakes in life. Fabian stands out to me as a good symbol of the impact we can make admist hard decisions.

Andromeda's passion in this was very interesting because her argument is so eeriely similar to that that Gideon made last chapter when they fought. I'm very excited to see you using both characters and similar thought processes. I think this alludes to the fact that Andromeda clearly feels all this tension within her. It is a very dynamic character attribute to allude to.

Overall, the grammar in this chapter was solid; I saw maybe one or two issues like the tense issue I brought your attention to above. I would also check to see how you space paragraphs; it gets a bit odd at times.

I hope all the suggestions help. You really are a most talented writer. Please let me know when this updated again; I really do love to read and review it.

Lindsey

Author's Response: Ah, keeping in present tense is becoming more difficult now I'm writing another fic in the past tense. I've even found myself writing in first person, too, and it's so frustrating! thanks for pointing that out :)

thanks for the wonderful and helpful review!


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Review #36, by LovelyMioneWeasley Mistakes

29th January 2011:
What a heartbreaking but insightful chapter. Marina, this was some pure gold; I think one of your best chapters yet.

To start out with, you put the reader in a perfect place for some real conflict to ensue. The cold, drafty house and Andromeda alone in her regret and mistakes. The confusion being a place of chilliness and pure ugliness; I don't that that is a place we take our characters often enough. We transition to anger, rage, sorrow, acceptance, denial--but rarely, as authors, do we tread to the place of confusion. I think for you to allow Andromeda to have the room to wallow in that was excellent. I loved it.

Your story goes against every childhood inclinition I was given--evil vs. good, right vs. wrong, selfish vs. unselfish, easy vs. hard. There is no perfectly good person in this story--no innocence (except for baby Tonks I'd imagine); there is no right way to do things because people will get hurt and destruction will occur; there is no one unselfish here because everyone is driven by different motives; and there is nothing easy here. Andromeda could attempt to leave it all but that doesn't even seem to be an option either.

You really create an excellent potrait of conflict for a reader; for a starting author, I would recommend this story purely on the the conflict building and how you relay it through the environment, setting, and plot development.

Excellent job on this chapter!!

Lindsey

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #37, by LovelyMioneWeasley Point Blank

29th January 2011:
Aw -sniffles and wipes tears away-. This was so heartbreaking and lovely.

I finally see some spine and courage from Ted; a fire to fight and protect his daughter. He makes a wonderful father and a very believable man; I like the manliness that he has but yet he is exceptionally vulnerable as a character too. His flaws are clearly outlined but he still makes for a very likeable person. This is not at all unrealistic; they are genuinely good people in the world. Sometimes, we fight so hard to make characters cracked and flawed that we take away any opportunity to make them genuinely likeable; you didn't have that issue here love.

Your imagery in the beginning of this chapter is powerful! It is very well done and very clear in my mind. Kudos to you on that.

I didn't seem to find any typos or issues this chapter. Again, commas though seem to be taken out of place or added in unnecessary ways. I'd give this another read-over. I could only find a couple of instances but if you are looking for something to spruce them up on, that would be my suggestion.

Andromeda has the best intentions and I really do feel for her. Her humanity becomes more fierce and clear as we progress backwards; kudos for doing that so sucessfully.

Lindsey

Author's Response: thank you :)

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Review #38, by LovelyMioneWeasley The Café

29th January 2011:
Hello there--Lindsey from the forums ^_^.

She savours the feeling of the adrenalin because she knows that no matter how high her spirits are now, they will plummet later, leaving her feeling more alone than ever.-- You need to add an 'e' to adrenalin. Because adrenalin is an allergy medicine and not what I think you mean ;)

Oh Marina. You totally know how to mess with my heartstrings and pull me back and forth on a see-saw. I start cheering for Andromeda but I also want reality to give her a check to see what's going on around her. The neglect of her daughter frustrates me so; I feel so bad for Tonks and I feel for Ted just trying to help keep the family cemented together by more than just him.

Gideon is so complicated and frustrating and yet so simple--he's a git but he is a git that is in love. And he isn't afraid to be selfish for himself in love which is a quality that is often lacking from stories. We read too much about the self-sarcifing hero and think that that is what is right. That isn't right either; selfishness needs to occur on some level so that we fight for love.

But Gideon has lost that opportunity with Ted and Andromeda choosing one another; I just think you weave such an intricate detailing and excellent love triangle. You make it heartbreaking and real and real engaging to read about. I would see abour rereading this for commas and syntax; varying your setence structure may be a good idea.

You do a really good job at pacing and flow; I really loved this chapter!

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #39, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Poisonous

25th January 2011:
Hello! I'm still fascinated with this idea of reverse chronology. It's only chapter two, but you've given me all I need to know; Andromeda truly loves Gideon, but he's not there, so she settles with Ted. She is completely wrecked by Gideon's absence. It's a gripping story so far; you write falling apart at the seams very convincingly. It's incredible to see her needing Ted and pushing him away the next, hating him then trying to love him. What a poor, poor woman. I'm excited to learn more about Gideon and exactly what he's doing; Order business, perhaps? I'd also like to meet Fabian, at some point.

You won't be hearing criticism from me! Your writing flows beautifully, your word choice is spot on, your imagery stunning. It's hard to decide which pulls me in more, your plot or your prose. All in all, it's an excellent read so far. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Hi!

Reverse chronology is a pain, I'm not going to lie - but it's forced me to plan something for the first time ever, so in that respect it's been a massive learning curve. I think it's important to keep challenging myself. If I don't try stuff out of my comfort zone, I'm never going to improve :)

I have to write falling apart backwards :P That really is tricky - the backwards characterisation has definitely been the toughest part of this. But I do love it. It's great to bring something new to the archives ;)

Thank you so much!


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Review #40, by HarrietHopkirk Epilogue

25th January 2011:
OH HELLO STORY I'VE WANTED TO READ FOR A LONG WHILE BUT NEVER FOUND THE TIME! HOW'S IT GOING?

*Favouriting*

You're writing is super duper fabulous. It is so poetic and beautiful, and your use of imagery (particularly with the rain and so forth) is spectacular. I adored this line: 'the blood red sunset staining the street with poisoned light and merging with the shadows'. It is just all so beautiful. I especially like how you wrote about the tears, and how they escape their confines and such. You use an awesome range of sentence structure, which gives the chapter flow while also allowing moments to stand out 'But it's too late. For the last time'. Awesome work/writing/chapter! :D

Kudos for writing about minor characters in such an awe-inspiring way. :D 10/10.

Author's Response: ahhh thank you Hattie! I think the Epilogue is way my favourite chapter, but as I go further in I get to explore their characters more and more. Which is fun!

thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #41, by Pen2Paper Epilogue

22nd January 2011:
Hey,

It's Pen2Paper from the forums here with the review you requested. I'm so sorry it's taken me close to infinity to get back to you! But late is better than never right?

Anyway going onto your review proper, I must say prologues in general are tricky and hard to master. Knowing what's enough and what's too much is a fine line that many people don't often grasp.
But you were flawless.
Really.

Is was short and delightfully crisp. Just enough information to keep the readers going but not too much to overwhelm them... You made a brilliant first chapter out of it.

Your attention to detail is unlike I've ever seen before. It's- there's no other word for it- beautiful. Heart wrenching with evident pain of course but still, beautiful. I could visualise everything in the scene as you described the setting wonderfully. I honestly think this is a brilliant piece of writing from the flow to the character emotions, to the detail of the rain, the hand holding etc etc.
It's chaotic deep emotions are very realistically described in the words you've chosen.
Most importantly it delivers everything a prologue must,
Staging, Setting and the Desire to keep reading.

Absolutely brilliant. 10/10
Will be back for the next chapter soon :) Do feel free to rerequest for the later chapters if you wish.
So sorry for the late review and once again, this is the undoubtedly the result of an inspired amazing effort.
WELL DONE!

~Pen2Paper

Author's Response: wow, flawless? that is not a word I see often, so thank you so much! what an amazing compliment :D

I'm speechless arghhh! thank you soo much!


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Review #42, by philly94 Missing Pieces

17th January 2011:
This is an interesting way to write a story, a little confusing at times, but you've done a great job with it.
It is a little angsty, the second chapter especially, but not to the point where it's annoying, it's just the right amount of angst.
Andromeda's characterization is great. She seemed like a real person, especially in chapter 2, the last few paragraphs were really well written. You wrote her grief perfectly.
Ted seems a little strange, I can't see him being all right with his wife loving another man, but that might be explained in a later chapter, so feel free to ignore this if it is.
great job over all!

Author's Response: I think at this point, both Ted and Andromeda have been through so much that they stick by each other no matter what Gideon does to try and split them up.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #43, by LovelyMioneWeasley Bone Dry

15th January 2011:
I was actually waiting for this chapter-- an opportunity to see the Black sisters (even if there are only two in this situation) interact and give some historical background. I really, really liked all the writing in this.

The stark contrast between the two was the most powerful imagery you could give for this-- royalty and poverty. Pureblood and traitor. Strong and weak. I think the fact Andromeda was crying and so open made her much stronger. Narcissa finally showed emotion though that I found very powerful and moving. I also think you did a brilliant job writing her in character; she can be really hard to peg and be put in a really horrible light by some authors. You didn't do that so well done again ^_^

Your commas were more predominant again in this chapter but in some areas, I think they really worked like especially in the paragraph leading up to when Cissy knocks on the door to arrive. However, they didn't seem to work in the opening paragraph to explain and set up the situation. I think sentences would be better than clauses connected with commas in that instance :).

The secret hiding from Ted seems like a bad idea but I know she doesn't get caught since this story goes in reverse. I suppose I can sympathise with the secret hiding but not agree to it.

I hope that these reviews were par or even close to the first ones. I know that these were conducted with a hot wonderful cup of hot chocolate followed by tea and some sleeping pills with the hope I'd be able to sleep tonight so I hope they aren't too rambling or confusing. Well done love

9/10 Lindsey

Author's Response: As I hope to show in later chapters, Andromeda's relationship with her sisters is of utmost importance. They are what drives her away from her family and into the arms of both Ted and Gideon.

Again, I shall definitely be looking over my comma usage when I go back to edit. thank you ever so much for the kind feedback :)

thanks so much! I shall be sure to rerequest, your reviews are so helpful!

Marina


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Review #44, by LovelyMioneWeasley Red Sky at Night

15th January 2011:
As if I didn't love Ted enough already, you throw this chapter in here and totally make me jump ship on supporting Ted. Well done.

All that being said, my mind is still not made up yet to deciedly disregard Gideon. I can't and won't. I realize he is a wanderer and that his priorities lie elsewhere than with Andromeda or her heart. He fights for the war; he fights to defend the future generations from darkness and to have the option to live in freedom. If he fights for anyone, it is for Andromeda and Tonks really. ^^ I wrote all this rambling to convince myself to not hate Gideon. And I realize as an author that is not what you want; a good author, which you are, never wants the readers to completely hate one character. Characters are meant to be written as sloppy humans like the rest of us caught in a vortex of chaotic humanity. ^_^ You do that part very well.

I liked majority of this chapter; Ted's fighitng was very brave and very believable. Andromeda's thoughts about hope were exceptionally well written and very insightful. I really enjoyed the idea of the distance "chipping" away at the hope she had built inside of her--very lovely and vivid imagery.

But it isn’t to be. --This phrase near the beginning of the chapter stuck out like a sore thumb. It just doesn't seem to belong there. The syntax seemed awkward and completely disrupted the lovely flow you do so well. An edit would be my suggestion.

The other stumbling point for me was the beginning of the paragrpah where she discusses Gideon's "cause". (Right after Andromeda grips the table and whispers please). The beginning of the paragraph just seemed jerky and awkward to me compared to the rest of chapter. I'd perhaps reread that section and see if you can't rework some of the wordiness. You rarely get wordy; most of the time, the flowy nature of your writing works in your advantage. I don't think it faired as well in that one spot.

Again, you do an amazing job hooking your reader and keeping the plot engaging. Well done; the pacing never seems awkward and your timeline (in reverse) has ceased to fail yet :).

9/10
Lindsey

Author's Response:

Your reactions to my characters really flatter me, I've got such a silly smile on my face right now. You react exactly as I want you to! If you liked Ted any less you'd think him weak - if you hated Gideon (as I have grown to) you wouldn't understand why Andromeda still loves him. You react exactly as Andromeda does because she is always trying to convince herself that Gideon is a good person. She doesn't want to lose him even if it would be better for her to do so.

I shall look over this chapter and see what edits I can make - thank you for pointing that out :)

thank you for the amazing review!!

Marina


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Review #45, by LovelyMioneWeasley Antidote

15th January 2011:
I'm backkk. And happily may I add :). I was very excited when you requested more reviews because I was almost ready to go behind your back to read more of this because I'm pretty sure I'm hooked. You hooked me because I am so darn curious about these characters that I can't help but hate.

I have to start with Ted this time because I have an entire ramble in my head dedicated to him. Why, oh why, is he so blooming nice and compassionate? It irks me and makes me envious at that same time that someone like Andromeda could land someone as good as Ted.

I really, REALLY liked the whole antidote metaphor-- I think thats the most brilliant way for me to be settled with their relationship. The idea that Gideon is a disease (hey all diseases have their side effects- example: stomach virus, I usually shed a couple pounds :D) and the only cure, the only "antidote" is Ted. Ted offers her a break from the disease but really, at the end of the day, an antidote only relieves in this case. Gideon will always be a part of her-- how poetically tragic.

My favorite piece of imagery thus far has been the exhange between Tonks and her mother. Their wandering through the barley fields together seems like they are almost searching for a utopia for their own relationship. And in the end, little "Dora" offers her mother a piece offering: the stray barley. For me, it meant that in little Tonks' eyes that this place could be a refuge for them and their relationship.

Overall, I really think you did fantastically well with this chapter; we really got to beginning to understand Ted and Andromeda's relationship, their marriage, their friendship. Your comma use here was similar to previous chapters; there were quite a few spots where I think you could have incoporated compound sentences, eliminating some phrasing, and add semi-colons or dashes.

Lindsey 9/10

Author's Response: Hi again ♥

Haha, wow you're so harsh on poor Andromeda! She landed Ted before she landed Gideon, that's part of the problem. She's got a deeper sense of loyalty to him because they are best friends, and he returns that loyalty. Gideon isn't exactly loyal, or her friend, so what she has with him is more physical and emotional. He's quite minipulative, as I hope you'll see.

You've hit the nail on the head - Gideon will always be with her. It's important to remember that this is relatively near the "end" of the story - they have so much history behind them that she can never really get him out of her life.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #46, by katebabelovesharrypotter An Early Visitor

15th January 2011:
You never fail to thouroughly impress me! I love this story more and more everytime I read a new chapter. You always keep me interested and I love what you do with your characters. Your dialogue is fantastc, it has no stiffness and I feel that it flows well as part of the story and a whole sectin in and of itself. I loved it :)

Author's Response: thank you very much!

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Review #47, by inspiredl Missing Pieces

14th January 2011:
Hello *waves* (this is my last review in the batch, so if you want more please re-request I will be more then happy to do so!)

I love the backwards thing, it gives you a completely different perspective on the story then if you had written it the right way round. I want to know what happens to her after he's died though! But I also want to know what they were like when they first met! URGG!

Once again, the writing and word usage was miraculous... I did notice one teensy weensy typo though. Near the end it says "She despises the desperation in her voice but she can be herself with him The fear beings to subside." I'm pretty sure there should be a full stop between the "him" and the "The" :)

The characterisation is magical and I think I have just fallen in love with Gideon even though I've never read a story with him before. He's so in love but he can't be with her and I can just feel all the underlying emotions under everything they say and do.

I am so happy you have written this story because some other people may have had the idea and done it with like Hermione, Ron and Harry or something which just wouldn't have worked. The fact that they're minor characters we don't know much about lets me believe that all of this is true :)

Andromeda was done wonderfully, again. I feel like I know her and when she said the thing about not being able to live without him I just wanted to cry, because I know he's going to die! I really hope you include stuff about how they met and what they're relationship was like when they were both like innocent and it was easy and stuff.

Sorry, I don't feel like I've been able to give much helpful feedback :/

It has been wonderful reading your story 10/10
Lily ^_^

Author's Response: Hello!

You will get to see their first meeting, and possibly a glimpse into their life after Gideon dies (I haven't decided what the 'prologue' will be about). I know in my mind that Ted and Andromeda become closer and she really discovers that Gideon did more harm than good. But that's for your benefit - I don't know if I'll be able to write it in :)

Ah, thanks for pointing out that typo! I shall change it :)

I'm kind of glad you're liking Gideon - that's really what you have to feel because Andromeda feels it too and to know that you don't absolutely hate him shows I've done a good job :P As the author, I dislike him but that's because I know what he's like. Andromeda is a bit delusional.

I love minor characters! Harder and easier to write at the same time :P

The story ends/begins with how they first met, so you'll definitely see it. Hopefully it'll be sort of bittersweet.

Thank you for the lovely reviews! I'll be sure to rerequest!

Marina ♥


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Review #48, by inspiredl Poisonous

14th January 2011:
Heyy again :)

Another very well written chapter and now I can give you some real feedback on the characters! Yay! xD

Andromeda's feelings are really emotive, you write them so well that I understand exactly what she's going through and it's horrible the way she's stuck. But them the whole time I'm just hoping she'll forget about Gideon and go with Ted, but I know she can't and I understand why because Gideon makes her feel so wonderful. I love the characterisation and I already understand her and the way she thinks and the reckless way she loves/lives.

Andromeda is an intriguing character but Ted... Aw Ted... Ted is so lovely and I feel so sorry for him. He obviously is just devoted to her and just really wants her to return his devotion, but he also thinks it's more important that she's happy (which just shows how much he loves her.) When Ted told her Gideon would return I was just amazed. I don't know how you do it but it was like I understood everything that was going on under the surface and it was just miraculous.

I can't wait to find out more about what Gideon's character is and whether he loves her too and if so why he can't be with her...

I can honestly say I think this is some of the best characterisation I've ever read, you've read like nothing yet and I feel like I just know the characters and I really want to find out how they got into this situation.

The writing it backwards thing is working well so far and I like the effect it creates. Things happen I don't understand and then they are explained in the next chapter but then I get more questions and it's just so clever.

This has just been me rambling a bit... sorry :/

10/10
Lily ^_^

*scuttles away to read next chapter*

Author's Response: Hello :)

Ted is so wonderful to write. He really does love her, as you said, and he just wants her to be happy. He selflessly loves her and later on you'll start to understand why to a greater extent.

Writing backwards is wonderful and horrible at the same time - it's an amazing effect when it's done well and it's also such a challenge. I really feel I've grown massively as a writer since writing this because it's just been so hard. I always look for a challenge :P

thank you SO much for the lovely review!!


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Review #49, by inspiredl Epilogue

14th January 2011:
Heyy, it's InspiredL from the forums with your review!

Wow! I love the idea of telling the story backwards and can't wait to see how you do it and if it works well... I'm intrigued :) I'll let you know how I think it works in another review when I've read more.

You said you wanted me to comment on characterisation so I'll do that best I can but obviously this is just a short chapter so sorry if I don't have much to say :/

So far the characters seem interesting, I'm slightly confused by the two hims but I think I'm with you (that isn't a bad thing by the way, I'm confused in a way that makes me want to read on.)

You're writing style is very fluid and easy to read and this story seems really exciting so far, it has really grabbed my attention and seems very unique... not much more to say on this chappie, sorry!

An amazing start- 10/10

I will try and be more helpful in next review!
Lily :)

Author's Response: thank you very much for this review! it's very helpful - I need to know if I'm doing okay for future reference :) the opening chapter is really important, so I'm really glad you liked it! thank you!

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Review #50, by LovelyMioneWeasley Missing Pieces

13th January 2011:
Here's a missing period--"She despises the desperation in her voice but she can be herself with him The fear beings to subside."

Its right near the bottom of the page; I like to give a hint where it is because when some reviewers find mistakes in my stories and don't give a directional hint it seems that I can never really find the mistake on my own ;).

This was simply heartbreaking. Andromeda's character really digs into me and rubs salt into the wounds. She just grates against who I am as a reader; I love my characters strong and lively. She seems so crushed, scared, and broken. And I think that its so great that she totally rubs me the wrong way.

Gideon was very, very believable as a man of war. His gruffiness and "wild eyes" create a very distorted man who has seen far too much. The mystery of his disappearance and how he has to stay away are very concrete as well. His jealousy, however, understood is infuritating. If I were Andromeda, I would give him a real piece of my mind. Thankfully, I'm not and this story can progress without my waspish tongue.

Very well done and I enjoyed every second of it; the angst is very well done and very believable. Feel free to pop me another line to review ;)-this story or any other of yours.

10/10 Lindsey

Author's Response: Ah, thanks for that pointer. It's so hard to catch those mistakes by yourself - an objective reader is FAR better. ^.^

I think I have a love-hate relationship with Andromeda. Like you, I want her to be strong and independant. She was that way at one time, but the darkness and sadness in her life left her, as you said, broken. When I write her I'm frustrated because I can't make her be stronger and I really want to! Again, this is down to the reverse chron, which is both a blessing and a curse. You'll have to wait to see what changed her and what she was like before.

Haha I share that frustration with you about Gideon... he's so obviously not a decent guy and yet Andromeda is stuck with him. Their relationship has been a long one and the roots of it were definitely in jealousy. Some things won't change between them and his absence doesn't help things either. Back when they were much younger, it was Andromeda who made the decision which changed everything for them. You'll have to wait to see what happened ;)

thank you SO much for the stunning reviews. I can't express how grateful I am and I'll be sure to pop back and rerequest :)

Marina


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