Reading Reviews for Waiting on a Whim
  
74 Reviews Found

Review #26, by SnitchSnatcher Nine.

1st December 2009:
Ack, adorable. Just plain adorable.

I love the whole lonely blackberries thing. For some strange reason, I cooed at the idea of those four little blackberries in the pot. I've given them names, but I doubt you want to hear about that, lol. I also like how she's so confident that one day, he will be the one admiring her. In a way, it's almost funny that she insists that he will give her confidence when, clearly, she already has an inkling of it.

Love it!

XOXOXO,
Molly

Author's Response: MOLLY!! ILY, seriously, thank you so much for this review :D

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Review #27, by SnitchSnatcher Epilogue.

1st December 2009:
Okay, so, since I'm in a rush to get to the next chapter ASAP, I'm going to make this review a short, but sweet one.

This is absolutely fabulous, darling. There's a certain charm in the words that you use; it's like you think about each and every single one before committing them, but it's beautiful. I love it, truly I do. I can feel Molly's love for him and it makes me want to squish Teddy to death, lol.

ONWARD MARCH!

XOXOXOX,
Molly

Author's Response: you're so cute, molly XD thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #28, by miss_aurora Twenty-One

30th November 2009:
Wow it has ended. Well first of all, I apologize for never leaving any reviews (including a simple thank you) before.

I love how this story is written from Molly's side, sort-of unrequited love, which I even initially thought would take chapters to end. I mean like more than 10 or something along the line. In short I never expected it to be this short, but still lovely.

Teddy... Well, I had never pictured the two of them together before (since it seems like Teddy mostly paired with Victoire), so I was unable to picture the image perfectly on the first few chapters. I love how you wrote Molly's feeling, I find it lovely actually. Though I assume there're gaps between each chapters, I can still relate it one to another.

Thank you for writing :)

Author's Response: thank you for reviewing!

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Review #29, by Rose_Weasley123 Twenty-One

29th November 2009:
Marina! -glomps-. I can't believe it's finished! I want to cry now. I have no more Waiting on a Whim to look forward to -cries-. This was beautiful, and a truly amazing way to end it. This will go forever in my list of favourite stories.

It couldn't end any other way (because we already know what happens :P) but it still came as a lovely surprise. Well, maybe surprise is the wrong word, but it was still so emotional and sweet.

The description/style is so lovely. The way you describe nature is just so pretty and elegant. I especially loved this line- 'The rain still kisses her cheeks and she closes her eyes in regret.' That line is just so beautiful. I seriously could squee this whole story XD.

'Molly had not deliberately heard the rumours, but her mother has a loud voice and a palette for gossip.' I love this description of Audrey. You can imagine her so clearly from one line.

The ending. The ending was superb, and really the only way you could end it. I really loved the last lines. You could really feel what Molly's strggle has been, and it's so nice to see her get her Happily Ever After.

Molly's journey has just been written so fantastically, and completely believably. We can see her growing right before our eyes, and I'll be really sad to see her go. She feels so real to me.

I'm so happy you wrote this. It's been lovely to read/review, and I don't think you could have done it any better. It's absolutely perfect as it is. :D

Author's Response: thanks so much Becca, I'm glad you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :D

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Review #30, by WitnesstoitAll Twenty-One

29th November 2009:
I had noticed that you updated and wanted to pop in to leave you a well deserved review.

Again, you managed to pull off another seamless chapter full of raw emotion, description, and silence. It was lovely to see this story come full circle back to where it began. I was extremely excited that shy, background-dwelling Molly made the effort to kiss Teddy. Her years of silent yearning have now been gratified. Cutting the story off where you did was cruel and brilliant at the same time. It leaves the readers wondering, "What now?" as any good read should.

All in all, great chapter and wonderful story.
Melissa

Author's Response: wow, thank you ever so much! I didnt consider that the ending might be cruel, but I'm sorry you're left asking questions :P I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #31, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Twenty-One

29th November 2009:
-squees-
Okay, so you apologised for your "rubbishy" reviews this morning so I will get revenge.

This chapter made me feel all lovely and warm and fuzzy and I just love it. I think everyone was waiting for Molly's happy ending and you wrote it brilliantly. To see the progress of her crush, her lust, her love throughout the whole story was magnificently done. Really.

Now, I have nothing more to say than this is one of my ULTIMATE faves and any sudden surges in reads is me coming back to read it over and over again.

ily and am so, so, so jealous of you :P

xx

Author's Response: aw thank you so much! no, it cant be you! I have so many new readers... *lives in hope* thank you SO much. ily :)

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Review #32, by EnnaBellaPotter Nine.

28th November 2009:
Aw, it's so hearbreaking! Poor Molly.
Once again, it's EnnaBella. And once again this is a short yet extremely eloquent chapter. Your words are very believable - I like that about your writing style. Keep up the fantastic work.
In your request, you wondered if Molly seemed to0 whiny. But I don't think she is! I think it's just perfect!
I wish you luck in the future. You have such a wonderful gift!
~EnnaBellaPotter

Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm blushing, that's such a lovely review. I dont think anyone's ever told me I have a gift, so I cant tell you how flattering that is. Thank you so much for taking the time to review :)

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Review #33, by EnnaBellaPotter Epilogue.

28th November 2009:
Hey! It's EnnaBella from the forums with your requested review.
Alright! So - I like this short little chapter. It's an interesting way of beginning. But I like it. And though it's short, it's very eloquent and very powerful. A very sustained beginning. Well done.
Just a quick question - if I'm not wrong an epilogue goes at the end of a story and a prologue is at the beginning. Is this by design that this beginning was the epilogue? I'm sure it is, so pardon me for being stupid if it is, but just wondering.
So, very well done! I don't have too much to comment on because it was nearly flawless :)
~EnnaBellaPotter

Author's Response: i started with the epilogue to have a change from the predictable prologue, though I'm not sure it worked all that well. Thanks very much for the review, i really appreciate it :)

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Review #34, by Paloma Patil Nineteen.

27th November 2009:
That was a lovely moment, if fleeting.

Well done.

Paloma

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #35, by Paloma Patil Sixteen.

27th November 2009:
'She will wait and endure the slow suppression of unrequited love.' That's just lovely.

PP

Author's Response: thank you very much for reviewing :)

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Review #36, by WitnesstoitAll Nineteen.

25th November 2009:
Heartbreaking.

Especially in this chapter you can eloquently see the progression of Molly's age. "She feels pathetic, indecent and immoral." Possibly my favourite line in this story. I feel that it is so appropriat to run through the mind of a love-struck young woman. You continue to do a wonderful job in capturing the reality of an unrequited and persistant love. Molly is a wonderfully tangible character.

I can't wait to continue reading on!! I'll be sure to pop back in once you update.

Author's Response: thank you so much, I really appreciate your feedback

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Review #37, by WitnesstoitAll Sixteen.

25th November 2009:
This chapter made me so sad for Molly. My heart cried with her own. You are doing a brillian job at capturing the true-nature of unrequited love. It is under the surface and turbulant. It is real to the beholder, real enough to make them hurt and want to cry. Your choice of wording reinforces the story beautifully.

Oh, one quick correction: "The gaps her less heartbreaking than the farce that hides them" I'm not sure what this sentance is supposed to say, but I think that 'her' might supposed to be 'are'?

All in all, superb job. Onto nineteen...

Author's Response: thanks for the correction, you're right :) Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #38, by WitnesstoitAll Fourteen.

25th November 2009:
Aww.

I feel so sorry for Molly. Trapped in a growing and changing body. In love with the most perfect boy in her life. Too shy to step out of herself for a brief moment. Once again this chapter is a lovely look into the life of a fourteen year old girl. I love the slightly obsessive number counting... it made me chuckle. I also love the characterization of Molly. Astute but without the boldness to allow anyone to know it. She is sweet and I'd like to give her a reasurring hug.

Beautiful... On to the next...

Author's Response: thank you so much for taking the time to review!

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Review #39, by WitnesstoitAll Nine.

25th November 2009:
Eeek!

This is a wonderful chapter. The shortness of the chapter must have been difficult to write since each word is worth so much. It is lovely to see inside of the shy, outcast, nine-year old. It really takes me back in time. I'm sure all young girls have fancied an older boy and felt terribly insignificant. You captured this brilliantly.

Well done... tally ho!

Author's Response: wow, thank you ever so much! I dont know what to say *blushes*

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Review #40, by WitnesstoitAll Epilogue.

25th November 2009:
Marina!

This seems like a lovely story. The passion expressed by Molly seems tangible in your writing. Your word choices are succinct and to the point. Every word really matters. I'm terribly anxious to read on. I've never come across the Molly/Teddy pairing and want to see how it all plays out.

Onward I read...

Author's Response: thank you so much :D

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Review #41, by Rose_Weasley123 Nineteen.

25th November 2009:
Oh my gosh, another delicious chapter for me to review/read. I really can't squee enough about your writing. It's just perfect.

I actually love Molly. She is just so deliciously 3-D and true to live. I can really imagine her as being a real person. 'She remains forgotten, left in the background, part of the wallpaper.' This line is just so sad. It sums up so succinctly exactly how the rest of the family see her. I love how we see her at different ages. You can see her grow, but her core remains, whether she is nie or nineteen.

This is definitely the saddest chapter of them all. You can feel Molly's desperation as she becomas resigned to the fact that Teddy is drifting away from her. It has lost some of the hopeful edge it had before.

The description is lovely. As always, of course. It is soft and so eloquent. Everything flows so well, and it all feels very serene. It's some of the most elegant writing I have ever read.

I love this story, even though each chapter I feel more sorry for Molly. It's a credit to your writing that a girl pining after a boy can be so fresh, original and heartbreaking.

-Becca xxx

Author's Response: thanks so much, Becca!

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Review #42, by 1DarkAngel1 Fourteen.

25th November 2009:
Wow, this just keeps getting better and better. Though I'm a bit confused about the boy.

But that's all that I could find wrong with it!

Well Done.

Author's Response: the boy is teddy ;)

thanks for reviewing!


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Review #43, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Nineteen.

25th November 2009:
She cannot face him, for fear of undressing him with her eyes or crumbling under his gaze.

I have this THING about "crumbling". I love it as a word and you've used it brilliantly here. My favourite line, however, was His arm supports her cousin's waist, his smile supporting Molly because it just captures the emotion and the feelings perfectly. I think that completely sums up how anyone feels in an unrequited love situation.

I actually really like how she doesn't seen to hate Victoire. I think that's an element you get more in Dominique/Teddy but this acceptance that she has that he belongs to her cousin is excellent.

Parfait, mon petit perce-neige
xx

Author's Response: awww perce-neige. Love it :D

thank you for reviewing, i actually dont remember writing that line about his smile, maybe I sleep-wrote? anyway, ily :D


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Review #44, by Leigh Kelley Sixteen.

25th November 2009:
!
Although this chapter was so sad, it's my favorite. I feel like I'm just repeating myself, but I can't help it. You write so beautifully.

From the beginning I knew it was the scene that James witnessed on the train, and I feel so sorry that Molly had to walk towards that, had to see them together in such a way. Her wishing he'd be more rough with her cousin is so lovely, so natural to the emotions she's surely feeling at that moment. To want someone so deeply that she'd accept the fact that he's kissing her cousin so that she can have the picture of the look on his face inside her head is so...heart-breaking. That she's invisible to him because his head is in the clouds due to that kiss has me sighing. So far, she's still in the girl in the corner.

Not once do you break away from the Molly you've written so far. She's always in character; the shy spectator.

You know. I've only just noticed that your chapters lack dialogue, and it's surprising. They pack so much that you'd almost expect words to have been spoken. But Molly's thoughts say so much that it's unnecessary.

Keep it up!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I'm really not so keen on dialogue, I dont find I ever really need it. I think I'll need to work on that because I know people often shy away from dialogue.

thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #45, by Leigh Kelley Fourteen.

25th November 2009:
It seems you have really gotten into Molly's character, her head. Everything she feels in regards to Teddy is so realistic and so natural and so beautifully written, that I can't help but feel for her. Her crush is so obvious. From her denial, to her counting. You write it all so well.

I am still in love with your descriptions. You don't overdo it, and I can't help but be wrapped in all these scenes you're giving to us. It's easy to slip into your writing, into Molly's thoughts, into her emotions. I wish she were braver, but if she was, she wouldn't be Molly. I guess at some point she will be, but for now, her not knowing how to talk to him, is perfect.

Moving on, then.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: thank you so much for the review, I really really appreciate it!

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Review #46, by Leigh Kelley Nine.

25th November 2009:
Hi there :). Sorry I took so long to review this.

This was lovely. You definitely have a skill for writing so much in so very few words. And it works; it truly does. I can feel everything that Molly does in that moment; her longing to have Teddy laugh or smile for her, her jealousy of her older cousin. I can't help but wish that he'd smile for her.

I also liked the blackberry theme, and how it seems that Molly is just like the lonely blackberry. She's too old to play with the younger ones, and too young to be with Teddy and Vic, huh?

Your descriptions were on point and Molly's thoughts are very much like that for someone her age. Good job on yet another chapter. I wouldn't add anything to it.

Reading on.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: thank you so much! getting the narrative to suit her age was so hard, I can't even begin to tell you. thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #47, by Lilau Sixteen.

25th November 2009:
Just to say that I really love your story.

Your short chapters are so full of meaning and information that I feel like I've read a very long story.

A very good job

Author's Response: thank you so very much :)

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Review #48, by Lilau Epilogue.

25th November 2009:
Hello, It's Lilau from the forum.

Sorry about the delay for your review. I've noticed that you added three more chapters since the time you've asked for a review (shame on me ^^).

Sometime it feels like it is not an epilogue but really the beginning of a story. But that might be because it is the first chapter and we can't help but feel like the beginning. It also I think because it's the start of Molly's real love story with Teddy. I think your story will be about how Molly finally got what she had always wanted. It doesn't bother that you start with this epilogue because it doesn't really feel like the end of the story.

Then it gives us the end of the story in such a light (her pains, the other girl, etc.) that we really want to know more about Molly's story.

As for the length of your chapters it doesn't put me off. I feel like even if it's short you gave a lot of information. So at the end we don't even think that it was short; we have a lot of things to ponder about.

Really good first chapter and I love your Molly.

Off to read more ^^

Author's Response: it's good that the chapters dont seem short, because it can put people off. it was really about me trying something stylistically different to my norm. so I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #49, by Onna_Elwood Sixteen.

25th November 2009:
I think the reason I enjoy this so much is that I can sort of relate to Molly. Almost every teen girl has the one boy, may he be older, more popular, different circle of friends, or an enemy you love to hate, that haunts their dreams and makes them wish things were different. That he was attainable in some way. It's painful to be around them, but you find yourself taking every oppourtunity to do so. Even though it hurts just as much as staying away, you sacrifice things for the chance to walk past him in the hall. Or follow behind him for five seconds.

Anyways, I really love your vocabulary. It makes your story stand out above the crowd.

~Onna

Author's Response: aww, thank you! I've never thought about my vocab before, but thank you for the compliment. thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #50, by Onna_Elwood Fourteen.

25th November 2009:
Wow... just simply... wow.

The chapters are short, but they are simply flawless. It makes my heart ache to try and imagine what this young girl is feeling. It makes me almost angry with Teddy, though I'm surehe has no idea he's torturing her so. I love how no one actually talks, it's all as if it's her memory being narrated.

I also enjoyed the symbolisim you put into her character with the concept of her counting, even though she says he means nothing. That sort of juvinile denial is so common it makes the character undeniably believable and real.

~Onna

Author's Response: you're so lovely, thank you ever so much for taking the time to review! ♥

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