Reading Reviews for Honeydukes
  
85 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Ariana_Gryffindor Honeydukes

20th May 2008:
Hi this is Ariana from the forums.

i really don't know what to say to you about this, it really blew me away. The depth of the emotions you used were really good, i also loved some of the imagery you used. Esepcially one line about startling an owl and its dark silhoutte coming up against the glow of the moon, also the line where he felt he was drowning in the blue of her eyes.

i could not see any major grammar mistakes so that's all fine. Oh and i love the representation of the rose he sent to her each month yellow for friendship. Although in the end i sort of expected him to bring a different colour as a sign of sorry but i t is nice that it was still the symbolic yellow one.

Mr Malfoy, i like how you portayed him in this fiction story, i believe he would still have the views from his father and since he was death eater even if it was for a little while that old habit die hard and it would be very difficult to come back from how he was back then. To completely change your lifes views after so many years of thinking them.

The touch of death that was the end of Rose was sweet in way, it was... i don't know how to say it. as if showing the sacrifce he went through to get her and the sacrifce that in the end she gave in love of him, but it also shows a reasonable amount of guilt in Scorpius afterwards and also the strength he needed to move on.

keep up the great work,
Stephanie @0o0@

Author's Response: wow thats a deep analyisis :P thanks so much for reviewing, im glad i havent made any grammatica errors, my typing leaves something to be desired! thanks for reviewing!

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Review #52, by Femme_Fatale Honeydukes

19th May 2008:
This was wonderful!! i absolutely loved it. I love the way you portrayed Rose ad Scorpius so well. Bravo!! 10/10

Author's Response: thanks!

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Review #53, by Jen Honeydukes

15th May 2008:
AWESOME!! Nice job! I don't read future kid ones generally but this one was really really good.

Author's Response: thanks ^.^ it makes me happy when people enjoy my stories :)

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Review #54, by crookshanks_kitten Honeydukes

13th May 2008:
Such a sad, shocking end, but it fits. Amazing writing, and the flashbacks fitted in well with the rest of the story. Beautiful. One thing that I'd just like to mention is that the 'I's in your summaries don't tend to be capitalized, but that's a tiny, inconsequential thing.

Author's Response: thanks! the i's? i havent noticed that! i better go back and change that, thank you :) thanks for reviewing

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Review #55, by FlowerChild Honeydukes

11th May 2008:
*sniff...sniff* soo good! I love it, it's, it's awesome but sooo sad! Why did she have to die??? Keep writting your a great author!

Author's Response: i will always be writing dont worry! thanks for the review

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Review #56, by raven_child Honeydukes

7th May 2008:
Sorry, I know that this review is a bit overdue (I'm always busy role-playing XD). Anyways, I always love a good Scorpius/Rose story. I do have to admit that I don’t really like the cliche of Draco being really evil. I think that he needs to be written out to be well-rounded.

For what I think could be improved, the structure was fairly difficult for me to follow along with the flashback sequence. It was fairly hard for me to follow along. Still, in a one-shot format you did well with not dragging on with unnecessary detail. I consider it better for a story to be told in the order of events because I feel that flashbacks don't add to much.

I feel that there is so much tell being done and not enough actions. In the beginning, when Scorpius says that he and Draco couldn't have been more different, I thought, "Why?" I think that more of a reason needs to be given as to why he didn't give into Pureblood ideology. I wasn't convinced enough by how he came to hate and then love Rose because I didn't see how he would suddenly realize he was being used.

And altogether, even though the story ended very sadly :( it was a very good read and I liked it. I hope this was helpful enough.

Author's Response: ok thanks for all your advice :) its so useful to get cc so thanks for reviewing!

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Review #57, by JLHufflepuff Honeydukes

5th May 2008:
This really captures the essence of the angst inherent in teenage love, especially forbidden teenage love! I like it that it's from Scorpius's point of view looking back with many flashbacks. It's done very well.

I like how you have Rose challenging everything Scorpius has been taught to believe, and even though she angers him, she spurs him to change. The way he shows the change in him by rescuing her from that situation is great.

Draco's reaction to finding out that they are owling each other is perfect. I really like your characterization of him throughout this story.

I thought the proposal seemed premature, but it does work for the emotions of the story. If that hadn't happened, then the tragic ending wouldn't have happened either. I feel really bad for Scorpius at the end and hope he can move on from guilt and realize that even without her, the changes she made in him will always be present.

Author's Response: scorpius is tough, he'll manage :P thanks for reviewing, im glad you enjoyed it

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Review #58, by Meeeeera Honeydukes

1st May 2008:
Hey,
It's Mera from the forums, here to review your story :)

Wow. That was amazing. You are a very gifted author.

Firstly, I liked how you set out your story, with Scorpius' thoughts and the flashbacks clearly explained. It was very easy to read from that perspective.

You also described the emotions, the settings and the people very nicely. Scorpius seemed very philosophical, and seemed to consider his father's values before he dismissed them. His feelings towards Rose were well explained, and the change from hate to love was gradual- in a fast way, if that makes sense. I have personally never been able to write romance very well, and I admire people who can, such as you :)

Draco, oh, stupid, obsessive Draco. You'd have thought he would have learned that purebloods aren't royalty after the Battle of Hogwarts, but that's not the case. I'm glad he's sitting in that prison cell.

Poor Rose. She seemed just like Hermione with her studying, and helping people, and befriending Scorpius, and it was a terrible shame that she died.

I hated to spoil the reading of the story by looking at the grammar, so I reread your story, to find anything that required attention. There were very few mistakes, just a missing bit of punctuation here and there. Nothing to stress about :)

Thanks for giving me something this good to read.

- Meera :)

Author's Response: gifted! wow that's high praise indeed! thank you. i felt kinda mean after he killed rose... i dont know why i wrote it... guess i just did :P thanks so much for your review, im pleased you enjoyed it!

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Review #59, by queen_luna Honeydukes

29th April 2008:
Hi, this is queen_luna from the review forums!

Oh. My. That was amazing! I love Rose/Scorpius almost as much as I love Draco/Hermione, and this one-shot was BRILLIANT! The length was good, the characterizations were great, and there were few if any grammar/spelling errors. The only thing I don't like is that Malfoy killed Rose! But that's just a personal thing. I like happy endings. Anyway, your writing was so good I almost cried at the very end. This one-shot completely deserves a 10/10. Keep writing!

Author's Response: i will keep writing! nothing could tear me away... except perhaps chocolate... hmmm. yum. thanks so much for reviewing! im glad you enjoyed it :)

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Review #60, by Malfoy_Lives_On Honeydukes

28th April 2008:
I'm back. =]
This is a very sweet story. Usually in one-shots people try to cram everything together, but you wrote yours in a way so that it wasn't crammed together, if that makes sense. I love how Scorpius narrates the story. It makes it very believable.

There are a few spelling errors again, just with left out apostrophes and stuff like that. Nothing un-fixable.

Draco Malfoy was protrayed well, but I think he would be less... harsh? I still think that he has that pure-blood loving thing in him and I could see him killing Rose but I think he would be a bit less harsh on his son. (After all, he always lived under the shelter of his parents).

But still, great story. =] I can't wait to read more from you!

Author's Response: aw thanks... i kind of regret making draco so evil, now. but it worked with the story line, so he'll have to be OOC for this story :) thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #61, by Clarebear*random chick* Honeydukes

26th April 2008:
I HATE MR MALFOY HE IS A POOPY BUM AND A MENY POO!!! LOVE SCORPY HE IS SO COOL!
:(:(:(:( ME SAD ROES WAS COOL I THAT HAPPENED TO ME I'D KILL MY SELF
AWESOME STORY 10/10

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #62, by onestop_hpfan18 Honeydukes

26th April 2008:
Hey, here to review as requested of my services. Excellent Scorpius/Rose oneshot. I didn't really see any mistakes, just a couple of typos here and there, nothing to really worry about as its a smooth read.

I liked how you started in the present and transitioned into the past and back again. Very nicely written and I didn't notice any rough patches as I read through the transitions.

When the end came up, in the last flashback of the past, I was anticipating what would happen because I felt like Rose was going to get killed in someway after the words of his thoughts saying that if he could turn back time than he would to that moment to not go into Honeydukes. Woah, that was a long sentence, heh. But I thought you did a great job with the whole fight that ensued between Scorpius and his father.

Overall, nice job, it was well-written. A very tragic ending to a strong romance, kind of reminds me of Romeo and Juilet, only both of them ended up dead in the end and in this only Rose was killed. Great job! 10/10

Author's Response: thank you so much! its always nice to hear people enjoy your story! i suppose it is a bit like romeo and juliet, but i've never read the play so i dont know how similar it is...

thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #63, by chaotic Honeydukes

24th April 2008:
OH WHY, OH WHY, OH WHY?

Chaotic here,from the forums by the way, ready to slit Draco's throat. Honestly, I think I've lost all respect for him- no matter how hot I think he is. Gah. Killing Rose- grrr.

Your portrayel of Scorpius is just beautiful. I absolutely love how you showed him as a boy who was you know, some prejudiced pureblood, trying to make Daddy happy, and then realizing that that type of outlook was just wrong. The fact that you showed him changing over time is pretty awesome; beliveable.

How you showed Scorpius falling in love; amazing. I could definately see it in my mind, him hating her, and all the while that hate turning into something else. It makes it seem real; much better than those stories that have Scorpius change over night. It was like, he spent so much time and energy hating her, that it was like so passionate, that it was really something else.

Ahhh. The ending. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE!? *sobs*
That was so incredibly sad. I'm one of those poeple who love the fluffy, happily ever after, fairytale endings, so this was just torture for me. It was stunning though. The last line, more so. 'All that’s left for me to do now is leave a yellow rose, and say sorry.' Wow.

Definately an amazing one-shot.
10/10
Love, Chaotic

Author's Response: i still dont find draco hot! i must be like the only one! he's so slimy and mean...

im glad you like scorpius, i really wanted a different outlook on him. and i believe that he would fall for rose. it just fits :P

i didnt intend to kill rose when i started, but i wanted to show how evil draco was, and stuff. i dont believe he would suddenly be all nice. i guess i showed that :)

thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #64, by GryffindorGirl007 Honeydukes

24th April 2008:
Wow!
THat was a beautiful story. I loved reading it and I hope you have more fics on the way!

Amazing work,
GRyffindorGirl007

Author's Response: thanks so much! im so glad you liked it! i have two other fics, if you were wondering. thanks for reviewing!

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Review #65, by MrsWonWon Honeydukes

22nd April 2008:
Oh. My. God . This is SO sad!
I cried at the end!
But it was very good! Some fanfics that I have read like this get confusing after a while, but yours didn't. I liked the way it linked together, and I especially loved the wording in the last four paragraphs! Well done, and keep writing, particularly Next Generation fics!!

Author's Response: im sorry that you cried, but glad you enjoyed it! unfortunately i wont be writing any more rose/scorpius's - ones enough for me... but i might write an albus one. thanks for reading!

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Review #66, by Stephaniee_ Honeydukes

22nd April 2008:
OMG! It was so sad. I actually feel bad for a Malfoy. You're a wonderful writer. You actually made me cry. Definitely 10/10!

Author's Response: oh wow! thanks so much! i hope you're still not crying

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Review #67, by Padfoot36 Honeydukes

21st April 2008:
She died! How very tragic, it wasn’t what I was expecting an all but I defiantly like it that way. It’s very original and tragic, but is a new twist to the whole Rose/Scorpius relationship.

Things I Liked: I love how you start off the story with discussing the ideals of love and hate, and how Scorpius knew of nothing of them yet but they turned out to mean so much to him. I like how you portray the hatred between Rose and Scorpius as well, it seems very believable. I really like the line by the way – In the end, my hatred for her grew so unbearable that I did something unforgivable; I fell in love with her. I like how you made it a gradual change for Scorpisu changing who he was, its more believable then all the novels where he simply changes one day. You explained the reasoning behind it. I liked how you brought back the meaning of love and hate, but I think you should die it back in at the end.

Things I Would Change/Don't Get: When you go into the first memory and you say - I smirked, my brown eyes sparkling – it seems to break up the hate tone that you have going. I would remove the sparkling part because it seems like something you would say when describing. I absolutely loved how they still argued and bickered but my only thing would be is to add more if it. Perhaps have that step where there bickering but inside there regretting it or it turns more into pure hate into just fun joking. Also you say there first kiss is before O.W.L.s, in what year? That’s another thing I’m a little confused about the timeline here.

Character Analysis: The little bit you portrayed of Draco I liked, but I would mention how he was a coward and had a grudge but somewhat grudging respect of some other people. He did change a little bit after the war I always though. I think you portrayed Scorpius just beautifully; you captured him just the way I always thought I saw him as. I would have liked to see Rose’s parents reaction to the relationship and a bit more characterization on Rose.

Possible Clichés: I thought it was going to be the typical Rose/Scorpius relationship but your ending made it reverse all the clichés things. (and it raised my rating on it!)

Overall Rating: 9/10

Author's Response: thanks ever so much for your review!

the brown eyes thing doesnt fit, so i will change that, thanks! it completely changes the mood of the sentence.

the timeline - the flashbacks are supposed to be in chronological order, but there's a type somewhere near the beginning that i've changed already (waiting for validation) so it will all be gravy when thats done.

i will go back and add more to draco, thanks for the advice.

thanks so much for your review! it's so hopeful :)


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Review #68, by midwinter_wolf Honeydukes

21st April 2008:
Do you have any idea how good this is? The amount of reviews has very little to do with the ship, I'll bet, and all to do with the exquisite quality of writing!
This is the sweetest fic ever! You make amazing use of flashbacks and fit them in beautifully, ehancing the story with them! I love your interpritation of Malfoy, still remembering how he might have changed, but really just a mini lucius!
Ignorance is . annoying, nope Bliss! Brilliant, I laughed out loud! is that a coincidence or should I feel honored?
The first kiss is adorable, heck it's all adorable! I love you and this story so much!
I'm sorry this review is so delayed, I had to leave for guides in a hurry, leaving this half finished!
Brilliant!
X

Author's Response: wow thanks so much :) i spent so much time on it... the ignorance thing is actually a coincidence, though you can still feel honoured if you like! im glad it's adorable, as love is adorable!

dont worry about delayedness - guides is an important thing (though i never did it!)

thanks so much! x


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Review #69, by Cedrics_gurl Honeydukes

21st April 2008:
Oh crap. I'm practically bawling. It was perfect. Utterly perfect. But it was so ... drastic, too. Why did she have to die? Although I'm glad she died in the place she did, with the person she loved beside her, ring on her finger, it was the saddest thing possible.

And as for the last line - completely and utterly amazing. Stunningly so.

I don't know why - but I think this is my favourite ever fanfiction on this site. Probably because I feel I can relate to how Scorpius feels about escaping his family's tradition. Okay, so my parents and family aren't evil - but sometimes I feel they think I should do exactly what my sisters have done, reach their extremely high standard, but the thing is, I'm not them. I'm the slightly average fanfiction writer with worse grades ... but I like who I am :)

Sorry I'm babbling! :) But I really have an emotional connection with it. And plus, it's so cute! :D

Okay, so there were some grammatical and spelling errors, but they can be sorted! Oh, and as for sorting them out, I'd be happy to beta this story, if you're interested E-mail me at emz_rocks@hotmail.co.uk, or PM me on the forums!

I never used to enjoy next generation stories, but this one has truly altered my opinion. Thank you so much for requesting this review, and also I'm sorry for taking so long!

Sometimes I noticed when you were writing about Scorpius' mother, you used a mixture of tenses, but once again, that's easily sorted!

I think my favourite line (apart from the last one), would have to be "She was ice cold and scalding all at once; it was exhilarating. " In fact, I loved that whole paragraph, most likely because I am a sucker for good, well written romances! :)

I loved this so much! Well done. You're on the favourites! Oh, and also, 10/10!

Author's Response: thanks so much! you've actually made my day a whole lot sunnier :P i'm glad i've changed your view of next gens, although to be honest, it changed my view as well! i never used to read them...

thanks for the heads up on the grammatical issues, if you dont mind i'll beta them myself as i'm trying to improve my spotting skills (i hope that makes sense!).

one of your favourites? im so honoured! thanks ever so much for reviewing, its really appreciated!


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Review #70, by Girldetective85 Honeydukes

21st April 2008:
OH NO!!! I hate you!! No, no I'm just kidding - but I was really into this story and I absolutely adored Rose and Scorpius together and now ... *sniffle* Ugh but I love angsty endings sooo much. This was really wonderful and very well-written. I'm really impressed. It was one of the better Rose/Scorpius stories I've read on the entire site.

The characterization was just pitch-perfect. I loved your Lucius Malfoy because I agree that he's a "leopard who won't change his spots" even after the war. Instead of becoming kind and understanding like he has in some fics I've read (yeah right) he would instead become withdrawn, proud, and resentful. It's good that you hinted that he married a woman who was somewhat different, so Scorpius could have the support and understanding of his mother. The characterization of Scorpius was lovely as well and I can really see the tension between him and Rose at first because of their two different families. It's very Romeo and Juliet.

Loved the flashbacks and the present tense, it was really well done. I have nothing to criticize about this piece, because I enjoyed it all the way through. Excellent job! 10/10

Author's Response: i never like Rose/Scorpius until i wrote this... because i just didnt get Scorpius. But i get my scorpius so now i can read it (yay). I can kind of see the whole dramione thing now, but i wont write one. there are plenty out there!
sorry, im rambling. what im trying to say is that i really value your opinion, and thanks so much for reviewing. and i am sooo glad you liked it! thanks for dropping by!


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Review #71, by HermioneGronaldW Honeydukes

20th April 2008:
Wow... That was absolutly amazing. Amazing. I am completly speechless. This made me feel so many emotions I couldn't even keep track, heartwarmed, hatred, relief, shocked, heartbroken, and so so sad.

Your writing is brilliant, every line was written perfectly, every emotion was layed out beautifully. Each character was so unique and so real. I loved the line... "No slytherin ever went to the library; we already knew all the answers." Sooo perfect!

I am soo in love with this story, I had quite a few tears cascading down my cheeks by the end of it. You are a magnificent writer and I really hope that you have other storys because I greatly enjoyed this one.

xoxo, Caitlyn.

Author's Response: goodness me! thanks ever so much - im so glad you enjoyed it :) all those emotions? that's magic lol. im sorry that i made you cry, but it was sad, so we can overlook that :) i do have other stories, check out my Meet The Author page for more info :) thanks for reviewing!

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Review #72, by A Diffrent type of Flower Honeydukes

20th April 2008:
oh wow that was amazing and sad at the same time. loved it

Author's Response: thanks so much :) im glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #73, by anaisita91 Honeydukes

20th April 2008:
Wow this was a good one, I liked the fact that unlike most of the normal fanfic this didn't have the same old corny ending. While it was sad, it was different.

Author's Response: i did try to avoid the corny :P thanks so much for reading!

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Review #74, by always_jamesandlily Honeydukes

19th April 2008:
that was so sad and depressing! but in a slightly good way. nice writing style and all...well done :) but i hate you for making me sad! haha joking, but seriously :(

Author's Response: i seem to be making a lot of people sad.. but it wasnt intentional! i just saw the challenge, and knew this was what i wanted to write :) please dont hate me! im very nice, really. thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #75, by hp_obssessed Honeydukes

18th April 2008:
I loved it, your writing is fantastic.
I'm a sucker for the next generation fics.
Probably because Rose and Scorpius are so much like Hermione and Draco fics, but they might've actually happened, unlike Draco and Hermione.
10/10, awesome job :]

Author's Response: wow! thanks ever so much! thats really nice of you. im so glad you enjoyed it :)

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