Reading Reviews for Like A Soda Can
  
131 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Rowdy18 Crush

14th January 2011:
Ekk! That was a super cute chapter! Alice needs to give Al a chance. Post more soon! :)

Author's Response: haha thank you! Well I'm trying to give the story a revamp before I post the next chapter so I don't know how soon "soon" will be ;) Thanks for your lovely review though!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #27, by Regina Penworthy Crush

12th January 2011:
I just read the first 6 chapters of this story and I love it!

I think that it's an interesting concept and I like your characters.

I think you might want to improve your descriptions of your characters emotions. I understand what you're getting at but sometimes it doesn't feel as though Alice is really being bullied or as though Albus is really interested in Alice.

The whole emotion doesn't get across. If you could just dwell a little more on character emotion it would really improve the story.

Author's Response: And I know exactly what you mean - I've been meaning to revamp this story and that's why a new chapter hasn't been validated since last October. ;) I'm working on description tons since it really isn't my strong point. Thanks for the CC - it really emphasized the importance of getting the story's message across to the reader!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #28, by Candinoxrush Prologue: Alliteration

12th January 2011:
Really interesting, I am excited to investigate further

Author's Response: Glad you like it :D Thanks for reviewing!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #29, by Hope's Mom Crush

12th January 2011:
I like your story - I hope you continue it, Please? James is really being such a jerk. Just wait until he finds out his brother has been looking for his torturee (Is that even a word?).

Author's Response: Hopefully I'll continue it soon but right now I'm just trying to revamp it xD Thanks for the nice review! < 3

~foundriapenguin


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Review #30, by liza_potter Crush

31st December 2010:
AL IS TOO CUTE FOR WORDS AHH *DIES*

*is brought back to life by other 'Claws*

Things are looking up for Alice! I mean, she's found a friend... of sorts... in Myrtle. And Al *swoons* He finally found her!

I really can't wait to see what happens next! I want to find out more about James and why he hates Alice so much, and I want more Al/Alice. Ahh.

You have a really good story so far! :D

Author's Response: aww Liza you're far too nice :) Thanks for reviewing all of the chapters!!!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #31, by liza_potter Root Beer: Part II + Dr. Pepper

31st December 2010:
So... that was interesting. Honestly, I feel James is not telling Alice something important- very important. Because you know, there's not a lot of people out there with an aura that makes you puke. But Alice is standing up for herself more! ^_^ That's always good.

I liked how Myrtle was included! Though it seems Alice has only Myrtle and Ellie the house-elf... But Myrtle was perfectly in-character, she was whiny and moaning and very much 'oh-poor-me'. But at the same time, she does care for Alice on some level.

Oh, and I thought it was cool how Alice kept refering to James' friend as Dr. Pepper. It made me laugh, and kept with the whole soda theme. Great job!

Author's Response: haha thanks Liza! Alice stood up for herself in the beginning but she gave up too easily after failed attempts to fight back :) But yeah, James is definitely holding back. I'm glad you like Myrtle's character - I have a certain fondness for her! :) Thanks for the nice reviews < 3

~foundriapenguin


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Review #32, by liza_potter Root Beer: Part I

31st December 2010:
WHAT A CLIFFIE! THANK MERLIN THE NEXT CHAPTER'S POSTED!!

I can't wait to read the next chapter!

But anyways.

Really clever with using the soda names, btw. Root beer and root of the problem- very cool! xD

Quick question: why exactly is Alice a Hufflepuff? She seems more of a Ravenclaw, all logical and whatnot. :P Haha. Then again, Hufflepuff is known to be the House that takes everyone, even the freak that doesn't fit it (to borrow James' words).

Oh, and I wanted to tell I can now imagine James' NICHOLSON! in my head really well. It's like how Dave calls Alvin in Alvin and the Chipmunnks, you know? It can become James' "sayin", for lack of a better word. Just thought I would let you know. ;)

Author's Response: HAHAHA.
I do love cliffies 8D They cause so much trauma for the readers and they're really exciting for me to leave you hanging like that.

Alice is a Puff because it IS the house that takes everyone. And she is "logical and whatnot" but not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. ;) So that's why she's in Hufflepuff. Plus, I adore their house colors. xD

I think I literally laughed out loud at your comparison of James to Dave in Alvin and the Chipmunks. I'll have to tuck that away for future reference, lol!

Thanks for all of your reviews, Liza!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #33, by liza_potter Coca-Cola

31st December 2010:
Why does James hate Alice so much? I mean, she's a Hufflepuff girl- he doesn't spend too much time with her, yet he mocks her every time he sees her. He's so horrible to her. Especially that line about her sister. It's sad what happened, of course, but it actually happens a lot. Humans beings are petty, and they desire friends. *sighs* Though Alice's life would've turned out so differently if Raina stuck by her.

But Alice stood up to him! FINALLY. ^_^ Oh, and the line about the cry of a wounded lion? So clever of you! Cause you know, James is a Gryffindor... and lion in the animal of Gryffindor... and... I think I'll just pipe down now, yeah? 8D But I thought that mention was very nifty of you!

And Al is looking for her! *SWOONS*

Author's Response: LOLL. Yes, the cry of the wounded lion ;) I churn out those one liners quite rarely, so I'm proud of that one.

YOU SWOON SO OFTEN, I LOVE IT. And as to why James hating Alice, it will be revealed in later chapters, no worries! I'm glad you understand the pettiness of it all - it will shock you when the truth comes out!! XD

Thanks for the lovely review, Liza!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #34, by liza_potter Sprite

31st December 2010:
Hhmm...

Not surprised Alice pused Albus away (OMG THEY DO ALMOST RHYME) I mean, she's been teased by his brother for so long... And even if she's in love with Al, she knows it probably won't work out. While it's not surprising, I'm still kind of rooting for Al to run after her and bug her until she realizes he loves her and they ride off into the sunset while James sulks... Or at the very least, find out her name. :P

The nightmare, though... Gosh, that was horrible. Honestly, when Alice thought there was a catch with the Sprite.. :( That must be terrible, to actually think a catch has to come with gifts. Though Professor Mink seems very kind.

Author's Response: Yeah, Alice lives a pretty bad life :( But things are looking up for her, so don't feel too sad for long! ;)

Thanks for the lovely review, Liza!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #35, by liza_potter Prologue: Alliteration

31st December 2010:
JORDAN ♥

So I'm finally reading one of your stories! XD And I like it. (Try not to spaz :P It's not that unbelievable I actually like your story) So I noticed how every chapter after this one has a soda name which I think is really cool. It ties in with the title. And it's just one of those really awesome small details. ;) Good job there!

Alice seems very interesting- in a good way! As far as OCs go, she has a good voice. I'm feeling sorry for her after what, 900 words? Kudos to you- it's a sign of good characterization! I'm very curious about her, I can't wait to find out more.

Oh, I just noticed you're missing a 'to' in this line: Those people are too lazy or donít care what happens (to) the can. Other than that, I didn't catch any mistakes. :) I'm definitely going to continue reading and reviewing!

Author's Response: Lol you stopped my spazzing, Liza! HOW COULD YOU XD
I'm glad you like Alice! And, a sign of good characterization? :O Whoa! I'll be sure to look into that more - I'm trying to get into her head and it's not really working right now. >_<

Ack, I'll be sure to fix that little typo right away! Thanks for the nice review and for pointing that out!

--jordan


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Review #36, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Sprite

29th December 2010:
Poor Alice! She's falling apart and she can't even be saved by her crush. :( I agree with her one hundred percent. James has made it his personal task to torture her, but doesn't deem her important enough to mention? I'd be angry if I were Alice.

Overall, a nice chapter. I would have liked to know a little more about Albus; anything from what he looks like (everybody looks different depending on whose describing them) to some background on his personality. I may be a little slow, so I may have already forgotten from the first chapter, but is James a year older than Alice, and are Alice and Albus the same age? If so, it's interesting that James even knows that Alice exists. Some background on that might be nice, if it's not already coming up. Just some thoughts. Overall, this is is turning out to be quite the enjoyable read. Nice job!

Author's Response: heh, I'm currently trying to revamp the story right now since I'm a bit lost as to where it's going, so these helpful tips as to what I should include are really appreciated! I'm glad you think this is turning out to be enjoyable - I know I have plenty of doubts as to how this story is overall.

Erm, yes, James is a year older than Alice, and Alice & Albus are the same age. I will definitely make that more clear in the revamped version of this story. Thanks for this thought provoking review on my part! It's really helped me see what holes I need to fill. ;)

~foundriapenguin


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Review #37, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Prologue: Alliteration

28th December 2010:
Hi there, I just got hit by your snowball! I've been meaning to take a look at this for a while now, anyway. I've heard about it on the forums on and off. :)

I love the wit you have so far. Naming every chapter after a soda, AA batteries, A+A. It's the small details that count, and you have them here. This was a short chapter, but so far all is looking well.

I am looking forward to meeting James. It sounds particularly cruel to single out one girl in all of Hogwarts, more like a mean announcement than a joke. I'd also like to hear what Albus thinks of Alice, since clearly his older brother knows of her. Overall, this was a good first, introductory chapter. Nice work, I'll be sure to read on.

Author's Response: AH?!
YOU LIKE IT?
*SPAZZES*
I kind of don't want you to read on since the chapters worsen as they continue :P I had absolutely no plot when I started this story and I'm planning on editing it once the queue opens again. But I'm glad you like this prologue - it assures me that this chapter needs the least amount of work! Thanks for the kind review, Sarah!!!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #38, by ArielleM Sprite

26th December 2010:
You are a bloody genius! I was so happy to see that Alice didn't fall head over heels with Albus and the ending was so good! My name is Spirte EPIC!
I did notice some typos you might want to look over but that could just be me speed reading so no one takes my spot in the snowball fight!
I'm going to keep reading this story BYE!

Author's Response: haha I'm thinking about rewriting this story in order to get a better grasp on Alice's character, so rest assured those typos will be fixed forever soon! ;) Thanks for reviewing!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #39, by moonbaby11 Prologue: Alliteration

25th December 2010:
Hey Jordan! Here again with another review for you! Get ready to eat it up! ;)

I really like the idea that you have with this so far. I just have to say that I am already feeling sorry for Alice. I find it pretty good that you coudl have me feeling bad for her in only 800 words. Great job.

Alice seems like a really interesting character, and I can't wait to learn more about her. Why is it that she has no friends? Why does James like to make fun of her so much? Why does she like Albus? Those were the questions that were swimming through my head during this prolouge. I guess it's a good sign that you've already got em wondering what is going to happen next.

Alice has a good voice to her, and I feel like I'm already getting inside of her head. I like how you've made her the underdog and not the overly popular girl. It's definetly not cliche and it makes her someone that is more easy to relate to with the readers. I like the way you portray her.

The one thing I want to point out is in this sentence: 'Those people are too lazy or donít care what happens the can.' I think you are missing the word 'to' after the word 'happens'. Other than that, it was really great. I'll definetly have to come back and read more!

Author's Response: Ohh I'll definitely fix that little typo once the queue reopens. Thanks for the compliments - I'm thinking about fixing this story up soon, so hopefully it can be even better than you say it is now! :) I'll probably try and keep the prologue the way it is, though.

~jordan


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Review #40, by ArielleM Prologue: Alliteration

24th December 2010:
Hello fellow snowballer!

I like Alice it's funny how she see's the world and personally I don't think there is anything wrong with like a person with the same initial as you.
I had a lot of favorite qoutes but here's one I really liked!

I've tried to assure myself that A+A could possibly mean AA, like double "A" batteries. Maybe we have some kind of electrical charge.

I also liked her list about how she is better the Moaning Mrytle, and I'm curious to see how James Potter reminds her (creatively) that she's a loser. Personally from what I've read I think he just likes her and teases her to get her attention.:)

Author's Response: haha well, Alice is quirky and as you said, sees things differently. She just doesn't like A + A together :)
And as for James + Alice together, you're certainly not the first one to see things that way. But don't be too set on that - things could develop differently!

Thanks for reviewing :)

~foundriapenguin


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Review #41, by Nini Crush

21st December 2010:
UPDATE please! I love this! The comparison with the soda can was smart!

Author's Response: AHH Thank you so much! I am currently in the middle of writing the next chapter, so hopefully I can get that out once the queue opens again. Thank you for the review! :D

~foundriapenguin


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Review #42, by maskedmuggle Crush

7th November 2010:
Ooh this was again, another lovely chapter, and another one leaving me hanging :(
PLEASE WRITE MORE JORDAN!
HAHAHA i shall remind you at the end of every post I make in the QTR conversation.
But seriously, I really need to read more.

One question: If Alice Nicholson is really such a social outcast, how come Albus hasn't heard of her? And if James Potter loves teasing/bullying her so much, how come Albus hasn't heard of her?

That's it.
I still absolutely adore, adore, ADORE this story!

Author's Response: haha I will try to! But I can't promise much at the moment :p
As for the question you have, actually a lot of people have asked about that! The thing is, I'm almost sure that the question will be pretty much answered in the next chapter. So...it'll be keeping you on your toes!
I'M SO HAPPY YOU LOVE MY STORY *HUGGLES* Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #43, by maskedmuggle Root Beer: Part II + Dr. Pepper

7th November 2010:
Loved this!
New side of Myrtle :)
and wow. potter should really man up.

Anyway, NOOO you've only written 6 chapters!
So far, every chapter has me wanting more!
I wish this was like a 149 chaptered story.

Author's Response: HAHAHA
I should really lengthen these chapters...hmm I'll see what I can do with the next one or else I WILL end up with a 149 chaptered story and I'll scare everyone away! ^_^ I consider this to be my best chapter (it's also the longest I think ahhaha) so I'm glad you loved this as well! :D Thank you so much for reviewing, Lottie!


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Review #44, by maskedmuggle Root Beer: Part I

7th November 2010:
Wow. WHY ARE ALL YOUR CHAPTERS SO SHORT?
I want to read more! more! more!
But this was brilliant.
WHO WAS JAMES TALKING TO?
chant inside head *must read next chapter, must read next chapter, must read next chapter*
so off i go.
i'll probably leave a very long raving review at the end of what you've got so far since i'm in a rush now to finish reading this awesome story.
may i just say that I usually don't review every chapter of a story unless i love it? like, a LOT?
:)

Author's Response: I like keeping them short sometimes ^_^ It annoys the readers! Haha just kidding. I always find such good breaking points early in the chapter so I stop there out of laziness and a love for cliffies. And you'll find out in the next chapter who James was talking to. ;) Thank you so much for reviewing every chapter - I honestly appreciate it so much! I mean, YOU LOVE MY STORY? THATS SO COOL. AND GREAT :D

~jordan


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Review #45, by maskedmuggle Coca-Cola

7th November 2010:
Omg. That was so unexpected, and I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!
and may I also mention that you are probably the first person who has written James Potter (II) as a not very nice person. So claps for that.
AND ARGHHH THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST BRILLIANT!

Author's Response: Yes I think James is getting a bit too much love lately ;) I had to make his ego deflate a bit. A lot of people hate me for it though xD Personally I'm more of an Albus lover than a James one so let's just leave it at that!
And goodness, you thought this was brilliant? *does happy dance* So honored!

~jordan


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Review #46, by maskedmuggle Sprite

7th November 2010:
Awwh, I adore this chapter! Albus sounds so sweet! And I love the ending.
"My name is Sprite" hahah!

Author's Response: heh, yes, Albus IS sweet! Alice is rather clever, isn't she? Glad you liked the chapter, Lottie!

~jordan


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Review #47, by maskedmuggle Prologue: Alliteration

7th November 2010:
WOW! Jordan, it has taken me THIS LONG to read one of your stories!
I'd already know you were a good writer from the QTR articles, but this is amazing. LOVING THE PROLOGUE! Can't wait to read the next 6 chapters! And I'm bookmarking this in my overfilled "HPFF TO READ" folder!
Loving the title, and the idea of the story, and your writing is awesome.

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Lottie, did you make yourself a mission to review my fics? LOL you just made my day! Sorry it took so long to reply to your reviews - after a while I just stopped checking my unanswered reviews box since I never get any, but this was a wonderful surprise! Thank you so much *hugs*

Now to what your review actually was about. I'm so glad you think my story is, what, AMAZING? *fans self* My mouth is practically dropping open in shock. Personally I think my QTR articles suck (I'm not too good with the journalism thing) but wow, all your compliments have me practically up on the ceiling! You've just made my day! Now I'm going to go reply to all your other reviews ^_^

~jordan


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Review #48, by Laughing_My_Tail_Of Crush

4th November 2010:
This story is very original and I like it !!! :D PLS put up a new chapter soon I canīt wait!

Author's Response: Oh gosh I haven't checked my "Unanswered Reviews" box in a long time! I thought I stopped getting them but evidently not! Thank you for the review and I'm er, trying to get out of this writer's block for my story! XD

~foundriapenguin


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Review #49, by flying_rabbit Crush

24th September 2010:
It's great indeed that Alice has someone who listens to her, even if Myrtle might actually not be able to empathise with her. Just wondering, wouldn't Alice recognise Albus' voice after having liked him for so long? Anyway, his way of approaching her is definitely great. And it's also great that he finally found her :D Too bad she ran, but fortunately, he caught her, and quite literally too.
It's also too bad that she can't be honest with him yet. Hopefully that'll change soon? Why doesn't she want to be 'gotten'? Doesn't she fancy him? And now they have a meeting in the library? Cool ^^ (well, sort of) Let's hope James won't suddenly need to be in the library as well, then. But it's quite nice that Albus was excited to see her and wants to meet her again! This will be interesting to watch.
Hopefully you'll manage to update soon!

Author's Response: Haha, well, Alice was a bit out of it at the time because she was so happy over the fact she had a friend so she didn't recognize his voice. And don't be too discouraged! The meeting in the library is coming, but a new version of this chapter is first. I was hit with a burst of inspiration as soon as this chapter validated after waiting for 7 weeks, so I hope you'll come back to read the new version! :D Thank you so much for faithfully reviewing every single chapter of my story. I feel so special!

~foundriapenguin


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Review #50, by Insert_Witty_Comment_Here Crush

24th September 2010:
Hi! This is a REVIEW (incase you couldn't tell). This chapter was shorter than I would have preferred, but who am I to complain, since it was so wonderful? I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I really do love this story. I didn't even know Crush was a soda, but then I'm assuming you're american, 'cus of the whole 'Soda' thing, so maybe we just don't have it in britain. Or maybe I'm just woefully ignorant. Anyway, that's all irrelevant, because all I really need to say is it was great! keep writing! and 10/10!

-InsertWittyCommentHere

Author's Response: Aww thank you! As soon as the chapter was validated I was hit with a burst of inspiration and I sent a new version in the queue. *Bangs head against wall* I hope you'll come back to see the new one when it validates! It's going to be longer, of course. (;

~foundriapenguin


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