Reading Reviews for Two Shots In the Dark
107 Reviews Found

Review #26, by rachm34 A Rift in the Making

19th June 2009:
Hi there!

So I finally, got the spark to review again. I was leaving like everyone really short and not very helpful reviews and I apologise if I ever left you any of those. But I was just sitting by the computer and saw you updated TCSTVoices. And I was like, Ohh I'll review that. I have forgotton how much I truly enjoy reviewing and trying to help authors and learning what I can improve upon too. Ohh, I'll stop blabbering now. Haha, I'm probably boring you.

I must admit I thought it was very interesting how you opened this chapter with Kingsley at the urinal. It was the most interesting scene I think I have ever read while a character uses the restroom or the loo. I think was very interesting how you thought of including how he felt it was his shelter. In that moment you captured the readers with your descriptions and what Kingsley heard while visting the loo. I think that was my favorite part of the chapter, haha.

Anyway, I love this story. It's so different. It's so much political based and I'm surprised I like this one as much as I do. I love the different aspects of the ministry you have captured. I love how you have taken a step further than J.K. Rowling and developed characters she hasn't and I also love how you have created your own. You've thrown in some origional stuff that and that's what sets this fic apart.

I love it! Keep writing, and definitely let me know when you update!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you liked reading about Kingsley in the loo. I always hear interesting things there, so I thought it would work for this. ;)

Glad the political stuff doesn't bore you - then again, if a phone book won't, what will? :) The action/adventure is going to start popping up soon, too...

And yeah, I'm starting to get my reviewing spark back as well. Now that I have some free time I've opened up a review thread at TGS. Feel free to drop by there, and thanks for the review here!

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Review #27, by fred is dead Complications at the Ministry

26th May 2009:
I love how your Kingsley is so slick when confronted with hard questions from Pius. I really enjoyed how he turned the tables to Thicknesse and started grilling HIM for a change. OOh the plot gets thicker! Awesome :]

Author's Response: Yep - I altered Kingsley and Thicknesse's roles from canon, but I think they fit well. Kingsley's my favorite in this story, I love him. =]

Hope I'm keeping it an interesting read! Thanks so much for your reviews.

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Review #28, by fred is dead Escaping (Mostly) Unscathed

13th May 2009:
The Vidiportal was a nice touch! This was a really intense chapter. The first part with Lucious was especially gripping. For a moment I thought that Voldemort would off him, but the fleeing was a nice twist. And is it just me, or does Kingsley seem a bit off here? Do I smell a traitor in disguise, or is my paranoia growing with all this political unease in the air?

It seems I'm getting really into this story :)

Author's Response: I'm glad it was gripping - life would be slightly easier if Voldy had Lucius whacked, but alas. And I'm not saying a word about Kingsley, although his loyalties may become clearer as you read on. So far I'm making everyone as ambiguous as possible to keep y'all guessing. =]

Thanks for reviewing! I hope I live up to your expectations.

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Review #29, by Phoenix_Flames Of Cowards and Fools

7th May 2009:
Another brilliant chapter! you never fail to impress me!

Wonderful job! YAY! Harry's back!


Author's Response: Yes, Harry's back. I don't know how much help he'll be to the situation, but he'll certainly try. After all, the poor Ministry wasn't doing so well without him. ;)

Thank you so much for leaving these great reviews! I appreciate it.

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Review #30, by Phoenix_Flames Straight into the Hands of the Enemy

7th May 2009:
Wow! Wonderful chapter! Everything is unfolding so brilliantly! Every step is a new and exciting turn! It's left me so excited!

I love this! Onto the next!


Author's Response: Aww, thanks for all the compliments. I'm glad I've succeeded in making it exciting and unpredictable - it's difficult but superfun to think of new twists. =]

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Review #31, by Phoenix_Flames Complications at the Ministry

7th May 2009:
Brilliant chapter! Wow! Way to end it! Cliffie! Can't wait for the next!



Author's Response: Yay, glad you're enjoying it. Thanks so much for these reviews, they mean a lot to me. =]

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Review #32, by Phoenix_Flames Escaping (Mostly) Unscathed

7th May 2009:
Wow! Very impressive. All of Lucius on this chapter kept me on the edge of my seat. And great title. It really drew me in. ;)

Onto the next chapter!


Author's Response: Bahaaha, I loved writing Lucius. I wanted to make him sweat a little, since it seems he never does in the books. Thanks for the review!

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Review #33, by Phoenix_Flames Dangerous Alliances and Memos

7th May 2009:
Ah! I realzied that I had alreayd read the first two chapters! But, as it's been awhile, I started from the beginning!

This was a very good addition to your story. There is really something quite unique and impressive coming along! I can't wait for the rest!


Author's Response: Hey, I'm so happy you think it's impressive. I'm so flattered! ;)

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Review #34, by Phoenix_Flames Playing Model UN

1st May 2009:
Wow! Why are you concerned about this chapter?? It was brilliant!

Well done! I have nothing to say but this: Amazing! Wonderful! Fantastic!

I'm really loving this.


Author's Response: Yay, that's great! Can't wait to see what you think of what happens next. =]

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Review #35, by Phoenix_Flames Woes of the Minister of Magic

1st May 2009:
Hello, my dear! I'm here with your review!

Wow, so this was brillaint. Well thought out, obviously, and very unique! I can't wait to see where this goes! And yay! 8 more chapters! I'm so excited for it!

Brilliant fjob. I have no CC except for a few mistakes here and there. It could use a read over but that's it.

Onto the next!


Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you're excited for more! I'll get a beta for this eventually. Thank you for coming by and reviewing!


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Review #36, by fred is dead Dangerous Alliances and Memos

22nd April 2009:
I did not see Malfoy's resignation coming. Wow. This has me biting my nails. And I'm not good at conspiracy theories, so I won't burden you with any of my foolish speculations, but I know you have something good up your sleeve!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad the suspense is working. Strangely enough, this story doesn't have one huge conspiracy, but lots of teeny ones! Hopefully you'll like what comes next. Thanks for reviewing yet again! I appreciate it. =]

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Review #37, by alanapotter Perilous Plans

20th April 2009:
I love the last line! Very nice.

Again, I really don't have much to comment on... everything's so well laid out and making sense with everything else that the story's going along so well.

I was a bit surprised that Harry had notes with him... I always thought he just stored what he felt was important in his mind... that could just be me though. I agree that the trio are definitely the hardest to write, but you've got him pretty well here, that just stuck out a bit.

Not to mention that you write Voldemort so well, heh. He toys with people's minds so much, it's horrible, yet also really fun to write. I could tell you enjoyed writing this bit.

Definitely let me know when the next chapter's up! I'd love to read/review it! :]

Author's Response: Haha, thanks. As for the notes, you'll see soon that the plan is way too complicated to keep in his head. Harry's trying to show Scrimgeour that he can be an adult and beat Voldy from strategizing, not just luck.

Yay, Voldemort is SO hard to write. Probably 4th hardest character after the trio, but so fun! Anyway, thanks for the reviews and I'll be sure to let you know.


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Review #38, by alanapotter Delivery and Response

19th April 2009:
Another fantastic chapter! On a side note I'm going to say - YAY! FRED IS STILL ALIVE! - heh. I love the twins!

I think it's wonderful how you've got this cute family get together thing... it's so believable... and that's really all I have to describe. It's wonderful how you've shown it. I can remember a few talks with my parents that had the same type of setting - all sitting around talking about a depressing topic.

I also love the bit about the Carrows messing things up at the school... just another little twist to throw into this ;]

I really love this story, you're doing such a great job with it! I'll get to the last chapter tomorrow!

Author's Response: I love the twins, too. This gathering was like a tribute to my favorite Weasleys: twins, Molly & Arthur, and Bill & Fleur. It was about time we got some good, wholesome stuff in here, after 7 chapters of drama and politics. =]

Yeah, I'm bringing Hogwarts into this briefly, too. I'm trying to cover most of the Deathly Hallows [minus Hallows, plus my own twists] in this story, and it's awfully difficult!

Thanks again! I'm so glad you're enjoying this enough to read and review everything.


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Review #39, by alanapotter Of Cowards and Fools

19th April 2009:
Hm.. interesting. You're working this plot to your benefit, and I really like it!

When I first read the part when Harry entered, I felt that he was a bit OOC, but I've gone back and reread that thought's diminished a fair amount, but I feel like he's a bit more whiney than Harry really would be... a lot more uncertain of what he's doing. I feel like Harry was uncertain, but he never really showed it. I dunno, just my opinion.

Other than that it's a wonderful continuation! Bringing him to where the minister's staying, heh. I loved Scrimgeour's response, and I can only imagine what will happen when we see these two again!

Just a quick side note, I really like how you're able to weave between the thoughts of the different characters so well, it's a handy skill to have an you use it expertly.

Next chapter!

Author's Response: Sadly, writing the trio is one of my weaker points. I tried to make Harry seem tired, and of course his temper is short, but otherwise I wasn't too sure how to write him. If you feel up to helping me out, let me know!

LOL, Scrimgeour wants him out of the Ministry's way; that's the only reason he's keeping him there. You'll get more of them in Ch 9. :P

*blush* Actually, the weaving between different characters is the only way I know how to write. If you ask me to stick to one point of view, I get antsy.

Thanks for reading, and for another great review!


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Review #40, by fred is dead Playing Model UN

18th April 2009:
Hmm, I personally thought you tackled this chapter well... perhaps you'd bring about slightly more chaos and skepticism in the Muggles in the beginning as they learn the Wizarding Community exists. I think I, a mere Muggle, would completely flip out at the prospect of magic. Other than that, the story is very easy to comprehend and, like I mentioned before, for a political satire, I'm impressed and hooked!

Author's Response: I did consider total chaos while writing this, but I decided it wasn't realistic. In HP, the Muggle PM in Britain knows about the Ministry, so governments in some other high wizard-populated countries should, too. Plus, other leaders have their liaisons to convince them, so I went for a milder uproar. If the Muggle PUBLIC ever got wind of this, though, it would most definitely be chaos. ;)

Glad to hear that it's easy to understand and impressive. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #41, by alanapotter Straight into the Hands of the Enemy

17th April 2009:
Ah!! Twists just pop up everywhere! You make everything interconnected! I wish I was able to do the same :]

I really love Scrimgeour, I'm not really sure why... I guess he seems so human. We're getting to see inside his mind, which is unusual for political figures, so we're seeing the internal distress and frustration he undergoes. It's refreshing and endearing (in a way) in the character.

Not to mention that there is SO MUCH deception everywhere you look!

I'm really intrigued by the relations with Muggles, it's great to see them contrasting the two worlds and realizing how they're so different.

You did explain the alarms well enough... I was really picturing them working in my mind.

I'm wondering how long you plan on making the story? Just an estimate, I'm not sure if this is still the rising action, if the climax is soon, or if the pieces are still being set?

I'll definitely finish the chapters you've got up by the end of this weekend!

Author's Response: Haha strangely, connecting stuff in this story wasn't as hard for me as, say, a Hogwarts-based romance would be. Things just happen like they do in the real world, with a few magical twists from my imagination. ;)

Hmm, initially I didn't mean Scrimgeour to come across endearing, but I suppose he has grown on me a bit. He's a character that people can never decide whether he's good or bad, or both.

Glad that both the Muggles and the alarms are realistic here. And Merlin, we are just getting started! I estimate 20+ chapters before this is finished, although I definitely didn't mean it to get that long. I just kept adding ideas. =] Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #42, by alanapotter Complications at the Ministry

17th April 2009:
Yay! Turmoil in the Ministry! *rubs hands together wickedly* I can sense it deepening in the next chapter already!

You've set this all up wonderfully to really knock it to them (I hope!! - not to be horrible). Thicknesse is a snake, and the way you've shown him slithering through all the departments (or supposedly so) and leaking information is fantastic! So common in politics and very believable.

I loved the telephone thing, and I DEFINITELY thought of a gun at first, imagine if it was and Kingsley had no idea what it did? It would be so easy for one of the Muggle dudes to kill him there on the spot! Not to distress you though, you mentioned how much you like him ;]

I really do adore this story, it's so different and so engaging! I'm adding it to my favorites list!! :D

Next chapter!

Author's Response: *evil grin* When I started this story, I meant to take the Ministry down quickly and painlessly, but as I wrote, I realized, what's the fun in that? So I created delightful characters like Thicknesse to mix things up a bit.

NO I would never kill Kingsley off like that! The liaisons are on their side, anyway. I just felt like giving the readers a shock to test if they were paying attention. ;)

Aww, thanks for the favorite! I'm happy you like it.


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Review #43, by The Empress Perilous Plans

17th April 2009:
Great chapter! Sorry it took me so long to come and review. I really liked this though! :) Great work, the writing was very well done and I enjoyed reading it.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked it! =]

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Review #44, by alanapotter Escaping (Mostly) Unscathed

16th April 2009:
Once again, this was fab.

You write Lucius so wonderfully! I just adore reading him in this piece because I can envision him thinking what he does and reacting the way he does so perfectly! Fantastic job with that!

"As you know, the fool Scimgeour has recently forged an alliance with the governments of the some of the Muggle nations of the world" -- I think the 'the' before some is unnecessary, heh. I wouldn't have mentioned, but it really caught my attention, it seems as if there was something more you wanted to put in, and I'm wondering what that may have been. :]

"the roll of parchment that Lucius had drawn from one of the sleeves of his robes" For some reason, I love this description, as well as the part when you mentioned the cracking of paper as Voldemort opened the scroll. Magnificent!

I also loved the whole portral explanation, you've got quite a bit of information put in there and it shows that you've clearly thought it out.

Overall it's expanding splendidly and I just love how you bring in so many different aspects in one chapter, you're definitely keeping my attention and there doesn't seem to be anything out of place or unexplained (unless it's supposed to be that way, in which case you've left the audience questioning in the appropriate manner).

I'll be back for more soon!

Author's Response: Thanks, writing Lucius is quite fun. ;) Oops, typo again. Haha, about the portal, I stick in some inventions of my own now and then and try to back it up with halfway-plausible magical theory. It's fun. =]

I'm happy you're enjoying it so far. Your reviews make me so happy!! Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #45, by alanapotter Dangerous Alliances and Memos

16th April 2009:
Again, you've roped me in very well.

I think you've actually got Scrimgeour written very in character in this chapter... I recall you mentioning that you thought he was OOC in the story, but the way he reacts to the letter and tells Kingsley about it definitely seems like something he would do, in my opinion.

I felt like the beginning was a bit drawn out when Lucius got the letter and then had to decide if he wanted to go and they argued over where... it's something that I think would've been played out over maybe 5-10 minutes in the character's lives (this doesn't include when they actually meet) and the way I read it felt like much more than that... but again only my opinion.

I really like all of your little twists, they just liven it up a lot, and really work well together to cause that political fear and tension that causes all of these other things to happen. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this!


Author's Response: Awesome, I'm glad you're finding this exciting. I'm always worried that this piece will be too boring, or confusing - which is the reason for the explanation at the beginning. I wanted readers to know the reasons behind the meeting to understand what was going on there and why. I'm also glad you like Scrimgeour. Hope that'll last as you read on. =P

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Review #46, by alanapotter Playing Model UN

14th April 2009:
Haha, firstly, I love the title!!

I really like how you've thrown in this twist of informing the Muggles... all of their jokes, how Scrimgeour pulls in different tactics to try and convince them. I loved it! Absolutely loved it!

"That it is not," the Minister of Magic announced from the front of the room. -- this bit of dialogue confused me a bit.

I really don't know what to say about this chapter -- but in a good way! I absolutely adore governmental things like this... and you've presented it so perfectly. The evidence, the collection of people of all different countries, ethnicities, languages. and how you've made ti so they can communicate. I really just can't tell you how real this is and how much I really fell into the story.

Again, there weren't any grammar issues or anything. I really wish this was a bit more helpful of a review, but I'm really just in shock/awe. It really was a wonderful chapter. This story is starting off wonderfully and I definitely would love for you to rerequest!!

Author's Response: LOL I've been to many model UNs, and let me just say that Scrimgeour gets things done a lot faster than a normal model UN! :P

I actually thought about dropping the statute of secrecy altogether, but that would DEFINITELY spell the end of the world. With only the government leaders knowing, it can be just another high-level conspiracy. No biggie, right? =]

I'll correct the typo, and aww, thanks for all the compliments! It means so much to me that I made this seem "real". Thanks again!


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Review #47, by alanapotter Woes of the Minister of Magic

14th April 2009:
This is very very interesting. I'm really into politics, so I definitely enjoyed reading it.

You've characterized everyone so well... Lucius, Kingsley, everyone! It's really just wonderful! I could really see everything happening in front of me while I was reading this, and your mix of dialogue and description works really well.

What really captured my attention was the way you inserted turmoil, frustration and the choices available to this group. It didn't usually come out in Scrimgeour's thoughts, which made it much more appealing. You knew that he was really tense, yes, but it wasn't to the point that I got really annoyed, which can happen.

There weren't any glaring grammar issues and I think that this was a fantastic introduction! On to chapter 2!

Author's Response: Yay! I thought I was the only crazy one interested in politics. I'm glad you liked all the characters - I'm trying to write a really colorful cast in this one as well. =]

Thanks for the review!

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Review #48, by rachm34 Perilous Plans

11th April 2009:
Once again, CSG! I love it. You are continuing to amaze me with your work. You really are able to write amazingly. Go just... Go publish a book!

Author's Response: Bahaha, I wish I was that good! You are too kind, Rachel. Thanks as always for taking the time to review me. =]

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Review #49, by SpringTime Perilous Plans

9th April 2009:
Finally I have made it over. Sorry it took so long, life gets in the way sometimes. Great chapter, that slick little Harry Potter... he is going to make quite a fool of Mister Minsiter.
I also feel a little bad for Poor Erickson, got himself in a little too deep huh?
I wish I had something more interesting to say... but I am sicj and therefor lack the right mind to express myself fully at this time. I look forward to the next installment :)

Author's Response: No problem, as always. I'm just excited to hear that you liked it.

LOL Mister Minister? I like that nickname. Harry doesn't seem like the type to just sit back and let the Ministry take over, after all he's been through, right? And yeah, Erickson is out of his league here, but there's no going back now. Thanks for the review!


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Review #50, by fred is dead Woes of the Minister of Magic

8th April 2009:
It's very difficult for me to keep up with a political story, as I imagine anyone would, but I'm up for the challenge and this sounds like a good start, so props on keeping my attention in a polit-satire!

ps. I'm holding you up on your offer to check out my stories. If you wanted to, could you swing by "the weakest link" and give your input? I'd greatly appreciate it :)

Author's Response: Hmm. I'm hoping this one won't be too difficult to follow - as I'm writing, the political satire seems to take a backseat to the action/drama. I hope you find this interesting, though!

You've read so many of my stories, how could I refuse? ;) I'll be sure to take a look at it soon. Thank you, as always, for leaving a review! =]


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