okay well your right it's nice to see their whole 'relationship' moving on but i'm also intrigued by the whole Albus/Hailey thing!another good chapter and please update asap!xxAuthor's Response: Yay I'm glad im finally getting some feed back on Hailey/Albus. You will find out alot about Hailey in the next two chapters!
And im in the midst of writing the 9th chapter now. It should be in the queue by the end of the week. Report Review
Dear, you got me fooled! I saw your story was back at the recently added, but there was no chapter 9 :-(
Hope you update soon!Author's Response: Oh wow Im so sorry. =\ Well the good news is chapter 9 should be in the queue by the end of the week!
thank you for your patience. =D Report Review
AW poor al he has no idea that she likes him
ahhaha nice chapter i like scorpius i like the personality he displays in ur story its awsome cant wait to read the next chapter :DAuthor's Response: Yeah. its sad. =/
Aw thaanks Im really glad you like scorpius i try to do him in a very believeable way. =]
I'm working on the nest chapter now (finally) so hopefully it will be done by the end of this week.! Report Review
I LOVE this story so far! The characters personality's are perfect and the plot is great! keep writing!Author's Response: oh YAY! Im so so glad you like it.
and i promise to get started on the next chapter soon. school has been a killer lately. = Report Review
ok! i loved this chapter! Rose (and i) learned a really good lesson from her friends! and where did the wolf come from? lolAuthor's Response: The "wolf" was a plot line that i decide not to include. But thank you for reading =D Report Review
Great story so far. I liked how you turned their relationship from always fighting to becoming mutual friends in this chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more of this. Keep up the great writing.Author's Response: Hmm.I think Ive read that story. Im not sure though, ill deff read it when i have time though.
Yeah, i didnt want them to fall in love right away i wanted them to become friends first =]
tahnks for the review. I really glad you liked it! Report Review
intresting, this reminds me of a fanfic i wrote. scorpius and rose where paired together in herbology (professer longbottoms class) maybe you should read itAuthor's Response: OOPs, i replied to the wrong reveiw =D
really? ill try to read it if i have time, school as been busy lately.
thanks for the review! Report Review
yep, definetly matching socks esc.
great so far, brilliant detail with scorpius going for roses hand. and fantastic character, christopher, i would have never thaught of putting a male friend for rose in the next gen. over all, doing good, reading on :)Author's Response: Yay! Im glad you liked it. Thanks for reading it. I thought it would be cool for Rose o have a friend who's a boy. But christopher is going to be a very interesting character as the sotry goes on. Report Review
hmm.. i like the idea. you should check out matching socks by fountain pen. it reminds me a little of this, i think you're going in a good direction. :)
-GracieAuthor's Response: I'll try when I have time. =D Report Review
Great story. Please continue writing and update soon! :DAuthor's Response: I will lol, hopefully i'll be able to write tomorrow!
*prays for a snow day* Report Review
“But I see things, I see you Weasley.” I love this line.
I finally go around to reading your story and now I'm sorry its taken me this long. It's great.
I love the Rose and Scorpius's relationship. He is so sweet, I hope Rose sees it soon.
I really like this story...and can't wait to read more.
SusieAuthor's Response: ahhh good I was hoping that line did not come off as to cheesy. =] Im glad you liked it.
he is a sweetie isnt he? poor rose does not know what she's missin :-P
thank you for the reveiw i'm going to get started on the next chapter as soon as i can. School has been get in the way lately and I havent found the time. =[ Report Review
I reallly like it! I was beginning to wonder when she would cave in! She did! Yes! haaAuthor's Response: Haha, it's about time isnt it?
Thank you, im glad you liked it. =D Report Review
Nice chap. lots of mistakes though, maybe you should get someone to look over it? :D update soon! :D
xAuthor's Response: Yeah, I've spotted the mistakes, im glad you liked it thanks for the reveiw! Report Review
Ah yes - I love it! I like that someone put rose in her place, she's just so stubborn - I like her, but her stubborness blinds her some times, and I really like Scorpius too. 8-9/10Author's Response: eeee, your reveiws make me happy. =D Yes, she is incredibilly blind, she'll open her eyes though, eventually. =]
tahnks for the reveiw Report Review
I LOVED this chapter PLEASE update soon!!! =)Author's Response: YAY, I'm glad you liked it.. I can't say when the next chapter will come out but. I'll try to get it done as soon as i can. Report Review
Love! Update soon. :-)Author's Response: thanks =] Report Review
It was amazing!! I loved it! Please update soon!!!Author's Response: Yay, im glad you liked it!!!
hey ... it was a lovely chapter :DAuthor's Response: Thank you, im glad you enjoyed it
HI.I REALLY LIKED THIS CHAPTER.WELL, I LIKE THE WHOLE STORY.IT`S GREAT THAT YOU CHOSE SCORPIUS TO BE THE ONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH ROSE AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.THE STORY IS REALLY EXCITING AND I CAN`T WAIT FOR MORE.WRITE FAST PLEASE!AND BY THE WAY THIS IS MY FIRST REVIEW-EVER!I JUST THOUGT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT.AND I AM NOT EVEN FROM ENGLAND SO I HOPE MY ENGLISH ISN`T THAT BAD.ANYWAY, I ALSO LIKE YOUR ALBUS AND HIS CRUSH ON HAILEY.IT SEEMS SO REAL.BECAUSE, IT`S LIKE YOU`RE ACTUALLY WRITING ABOUT ME.WELL, I AM A GIRL, BUT THE STORY IS THE SAME.AND I LIKED TH CHARACTER OF MIRA TOO.SHE`S A GREAT EVIL PERSON, HE-HE.OKAY, I WISH YOU LUCK.CONTINUE WRITING, `CAUSE YOU HAVE A GIFT, I MUST TELL YOU.I ENJOYED READING!THANKS!Author's Response: Haha YAY thank you!
The next chapter will be out very very soon (actually it should be out by now, im not sure whatso going on)
but anyways, thank you It's important to me that my characters are real i dont like fake mary sue-ish characters. at all.
oh so you like Albus/Hailey huh? well you'll be seeing this relationship grow alot in the next few chapters, its going to be very sweet, ill tell you that much =D Report Review
Okay - this gets 9/10
You just write characters so brilliantly, I love Scorpius/Mira's relatonship, not that I want them to be together - I mean she is a little cow, but that kind of relationship exists - she wants him, he doesn't want her - but he kisses her anyway, typical teenage boy even if he doesn't enjoy it lol - it's very real of teenage relationships. I like how you're revealing the genuine nice side of Scorpius, and Rose/Chris' relationship is awesome - everything feels natural. I love Rose's talk to herself in her head, this is again, so real and makes the character's feel like real people - you're best chapter I think. Well doneAuthor's Response: Haha yepp, Mira is a little (bad word) in this story, and will always be one sadly. Scorpius just deals with her, they've known each other forever.
Rose/Chris have a even more interesting relationship. It's going to get complicated, very very soon. Report Review
I really like this chapter, the characters are just great, and you're descriptions have GREATLY improved from the last chapter - I think it's so much better when you're not just listing details you know? There's a huge improvement there.
I just want Rose and Scorpius to get together! But I love how she still hates him, I'd hate to turn to chapter four and then for her to suddenly 'realise she loves him' or something like that, I think it's great how you're making her so stubborn and Malfoy's trying so hard - but he's still a cocky bugger - I love his lines "“Yeah, if you want us to get a P on this potion I think you know exactly what you are doing" lmao - that was brilliance by Scorpius!
My only quirk is the whole 'this potion works better if its boy/girl partner' i think you may need a little explanation in that - maybe have Selena go "what?" and then Rose whisper the reason to her, that would remind me of Hermione so much but still be in Rose's character - just an idea, or you need the teacher to explain why the potion works better with a male/female partner, or why you need a partner at all - just a glitch that I think needs to be fixed up. Otherwise great chapter - 8 or 9/10Author's Response: Oh yay, Im so happy to hear that they are improving =D *does the happy dance*
Yes,Yes i know Rose/Scorpius... it's gonna take time what can i say? Haha I to hate it when they all of a sudden fall in love with each other like right after the 2nd cnahpter. Love takes time, even in fan fiction :-P Haha yeah, Scorpius is amazing isn't he? He is SO MUCH fun to write.
Ahh, I mst of completely forgotten that plot point, good thing it wasn't that important but I will go back and at it in there.
thanks once again, you've helped alot. seriously. Report Review
Hm... very interesting, again - the dialogue is wonderful, I really love the dialogue between James, Rose and Albus - it's so natural, and it really reminds me of J.K Rowling's style of humour. I prefer the first half of the chapter to the second half, maybe I need to get to know this Christopher character a bit more before I like him as much as I like Scorpius - Rose did seem a bit harsh in this chapter, but it's understandable -as I said, you write characters really well.Author's Response: Oh yay, It's important to me that my dialouge is natural, it hate when its forced. =P.
Yes Christopher is a very interesting character... he will pay a big part in Rose/Scorpius getting together.
thank you for this reveiw I am now off to answer your other ones! Report Review
Me again =]
Mummy says their small purple bear-like creatures... - the 'their' should be 'they're' =]
"Hailey, I am your wake up call every morning in case you’ve forgotten," said Serena as she rolled her eyes and let out her contagious laugh, which of course caused Rose and Hailey to laugh too. "That's true," Rose replied but laughed harder as Hailey threw a Chocolate Frog at Serena which caused a mini food fight between the two. - remember to start a new line when a different character beings to speak.
All in all, this is a lovely little fic that you've got here, and I adore the relationships that you are establishing between the different characters =]
Keep it up,
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: Ugh! I can't believe I missed that! Thank you for pointing that out to me. I'll change it when I get time! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this and thank you for finding those mistakes. I really appreciate it! Report Review
Hey, me again!
Let's start with the grammary things, shall we?
Rose laughed at her friend as she said all that in one breath and pulled her head of curls away from her face and behind her ear. - This sentence didn't seem to flow to me... perhaps if you rephrased it to...
Rose laughed at her friend as she said all of that in one breath, pulling her head of curls away from her face and behind her ear.
"I thought you were smarter then that Malfoy," - 'then' should be 'that', and there should be a comma before 'Malfoy' =]
"Wow nine O.L.W's and Quidditch Captain?" - you did this everytime you mentioned it, but 'O.L.W's' should be 'O.W.Ls' =]
"I always thought Professor Gilton was completely unfair," Rachel[W1] complained as the sliding door opened. - I'm not quite sure what the [W1] is supposed to be/mean...
Again, this was an enjoyable chapter. Just work on your sentence flow and this story will be near wonderful in no time ;]
Oh, and your descriptions are lovely =D
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: The [w1] was inserted by my Beta, I forgot to take that out.
Thank you so much for reveiwing these three chapters, I'll take everything you said into consideration.
I'm glad you liked this story. And thank you, I'm glad you liked my discriptions it means alot!! Report Review
Hey there! It's xX mOoNdAnCe Xx from the forums, here with the review you requested.
Just a little grammar-type note first...
"James Sirius Potter how many times do we have to tell you not to tell your sister to shut up?" Ginny asked sternly.
I think if you put a comma after 'James Sirius Potter' it would make the sentence flow better =]
This was a good starting chapter to a story because you introduced many of your main characters and gave us a feel of how you are going to write them.
I can't think of much else to say because of the shortness of the chapter, but I'm off to read the next one =]
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: Yay thank you so much for reveiwing!
Yeah, I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter, I just really wanted to get the tone of the story. I also fix that sentence when I get the time.
thank you once again. Report Review
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