Reading Reviews for The New Pride of Portree
  
161 Reviews Found

Review #26, by ThestralPrincess Let Us Break A Few Heads

13th July 2014:
Aw, such a fantastic chapter. Loved the family interactions. Loved Fitz and Molly as I always do. :) Love the Rose appearance with treacle. Looking forward to next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #27, by coolgf Let Us Break A Few Heads

13th July 2014:
Sweet ! Ron and Rose in this chapter. So cool and I so love Molly. She is so cool.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #28, by evil little devil Let Us Break A Few Heads

13th July 2014:
Oh my gosh, Rose! I am so happy you gave her a cameo, I was laughing so much imagining what how she managed to get herself into this particularly crazy scenario.
Poor Fitz. I can't believe that guy hexed him! All because Mariah wouldn't leave him quick enough. I would tell you more of my thoughts on him, but I'm not entirely sure how to compress them into a 12+ review :P
I am incredibly jealous of your ability to write quidditch matches. You do it so well! With just enough detail to make it interesting and draw me in, but not so much that it reads like a sports commentary. I'm very happy they beat the Falcons, a team that violent doesn't deserve to win.
This was such an action packed chapter, so much happened! It was very exciting to read :D

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Review #29, by Leonore Let Us Break A Few Heads

12th July 2014:
I thought I'd finally let you know that I'm reading and loving this story. I found it during diadem voting, then a few days later opened about ten tabs with different chapters to read while stuck waiting in a place with no internet. It definitely kept me from getting bored!

OK, I read this chapter and went to watch a bit of the World Cup third-place play-offs before reviewing and found myself just sitting there watching and thinking "Falcons" every time the Brazilians fouled (which was a lot, even in just half an hour). Although unlike the Prides, the Dutch seem to be pretty good at keeping their play clean (I may be biased, being 1/4 Dutch...). Anyway, going off on a slight tangent. I like tangents. *Insert dumb mathematical ramble here*

Yay, Molly and Fitz! Ignore managers and ex-wives and all of that. This fic has the perfect balance of romance and other stuff. Just romance really isn't my thing, but there's so much backstory and other factors and complications and their relationship is more than just "she is so beautiful and I gaze into her eyes and feel something stir inside me and we are soulmates" but all of the arguments and her kind of looking after him and worrying about him and then feeling guilty because the manager says no relationships in the team and trying to keep it secret and... *list gets out of hand* And then all the training and match details, not blow-by-blow accounts because that would get boring but all of the key events and bits of information like drills and archive footage and fouls and seeker search patterns and stuff. But yeah, action and drama and angst and Molly's OCD as well as well as the romance. And technical details! I LOVE technical details! (Like all of the medical stuff.)

Just like any muggle professional sports team, with the management and coaching and the healer team. And the ice baths and painkillers and everything. I love the way they've got the team drinking culture, going to the pub and having too much and all that. They're not perfect, they don't sacrifice everything to play on the team, they're people who happen to love Quidditch, be amazing at it, and do it for a career.

Urgh, I hate Rakes. It's one thing for it to be some random member of the public... OK, that would be horrendous too, to attack just because their team was being beaten. But he was already in the wrong being with Fitz's wife and then he convinces himself he's being wronged in some way - or just curses Fitz because he's used to getting his own way, or just wants an excuse. Whatever, it's horrible.

Good old Ron. He scared Fitz a bit talking about the Cannons, but he doesn't really hold a grudge. (To be honest if he held a grudge against every player who played against and beat the Cannons he'd have a lot of grudges). And he lets Molly know about the fight so she can come pick him up, knowing it's not worth a scandal.

Now I want to know why Rose and the random guy are covered in treacle. There has to be a story in that...

Yay, the Prides won! *doesn't actually dance round room celebrating because that would be a bit weird and my family might notice, especially as it's past 11pm* I like Hugo. That's all I'm going to say about him. All your characters are amazing. OK a couple are amazingly unpleasant, but they're all nice and complicated and like real people.

I hope you like long inane rambly reviews with lots of tangents. I am in that mood. And I'm making it long because this review partly covers my love of the whole story so far not just this chapter.

OK, I have no idea how much of that consists of my random comments and how much is actually relevant to, well, anything. Shall I stop talking (typing) now? ;)

~ Leo xx

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Review #30, by Veritaserum27 The Dreaded Ex

12th July 2014:
Hi hi!

Oooo! Great ending. There is chemistry. Lots of chemistry. I love Molly's neurotic tendencies. They border, but do not quite cross the line of mental illness. Haha! She navigated Mariah well. That could've gotten really ugly - although I have a feeling that you have more in store for us regarding that one. I feel bad that Fitz is so uncomfortable in his new job. He needs to experience some success so that he can gain his confidence. He seems to want to do really well, and he is definitely putting for a concerted effort - with the new training schedule and getting Preece to practice and all that. He seems like a pretty decent guy. I can't wait to read more!

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Review #31, by Veritaserum27 The New Lineup

12th July 2014:
Hello, hello!

Wow. Molly sure does like her color coding, doesn't she? She seems to be a bit neurotic - what with getting to practice so early, starting the team on drills without the coach and coming up with her own training schedule. I'm afraid her ambition is going to get her into trouble. Nobody likes a know-it-all. I was curious about this line referring to Roxie: Well, possibly married. There had been a wedding on a beach, but whether or not there had been a marriage license seemed an entirely different question.. Was that part of another story? It sounds pretty funny. I'll have to read it. I am very suspicious about Fitz's injury. It seems like there might be a bit of mystery brewing. Someone REALLY didn't want him to play and I'm wondering if that person is going to come back when they find out he is the head coach of The Pride of Portree. On to the next chapter!

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Review #32, by Veritaserum27 The Harpy With the Mohawk

12th July 2014:
Hello!

I thought I would give this a go. I thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter. I like your version of Molly - intelligent, clever and "stylish." She's confident, but not arrogant (at least it doesn't seem so from this first chapter). Usually Molly is portrayed as intelligent, but super-annoying so this is refreshing. It looks like you've set the stage for some interesting conflict between Fitz and what I am assuming is his ex-girlfriend. In addition, there are a lot of new personalities coming together in a highly-charged slightly stressful situation. Makes for a good story and a lot of drama. I can't wait to see the purple mowhawk - or maybe Molly will adopt a totally different hairstyle for the Harpies!

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Review #33, by TidalDragon The New Lineup

12th July 2014:
Hello again!

Ahh the clash begins! I had a sense that Molly's determination to succeed was going to collide with Fitz's fixation on proving himself. The good part is I thought the clash was realistic, taking place in their heads at the moment. I'm interested to see if the pair can learn together and to find out what happens with the captaincy - will he deny Molly that because of their budding differences?

While developing all that, I thought you did a great job depicting the attitudes and lackadaisical approach that individuals at a bottom-dwelling club might actually take. I think it's realistic based on the anecdotes you here about teams in our sports when they're not doing well. I used to have an old boss who pounded the saying "speed of the leader, speed of the pack" into our heads though, so I'm hoping that between Molly, Zara, and Fitz - they can get this ship straightened out.

I think my favorite part of the story so far is how authentic it feels. Honestly, it reads quite like a real book so far! Kudos on that!

See you next chapter!

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Review #34, by TidalDragon The Harpy With the Mohawk

11th July 2014:
Howdy! I've seen you posting statuses about this story, and having become quite burnt out on reviewing one-shots this week, I figured a Quidditch-based novel would be a good change of pace!

As it turns out, indeed it was! I haven't read any of the stories mentioned in your A/N, but I was struck right off the top how clear and well-defined the characters are. Molly is immediately interesting - with her distinctive hair, you'd fancy her to be a rebel from the word go, but as you lay out in her background, she's anything but (or seems to be right now).

Meghan certainly seems shrewd. She's struck fast with the element of surprise on the other managers around the league hasn't she? The thing I perhaps like most about her already though is that she's a female character in a big role in sport. I have always wondered whether the Harpies are proof of past (or lingering) problems with sexism in Quidditch or whether they're a shining beacon symbolizing how equally both genders fare in the sport. If Meghan is any indication, it's the latter in your world, and I think that makes things interesting when comparing it to how things are in our world.

I also enjoyed Fitz. He was a nice change of pace from the other characters and while he seems like a potential hothead with a side-order of frantic, he's readily differentiable from the other two that featured most prominently and he's distinctive.

As well as you did the characters, the plot was still very clear and stuck out as well! I'm very interested to carry on and see how the story develops!

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Review #35, by marauderfan The New Lineup

10th July 2014:
Hahaha, I love that despite Molly's outward appearance, she is still rather Percy-like in her sense of organisation - like her compulsion to keep all the bottles properly colour-coded, and the sense that if she's later than ten minutes early, then she's late. I laughed at the part where she volunteered to go wake up the missing players who slept in late, as well - she definitely would make a no-nonsense captain who gets everyone in line, that's for sure!

What a disaster of a first practice :-/ Honestly though, I can't blame any of the characters for acting as they are (well... maybe except for Jinks, who is just lazy). Molly might have been undermining Fitz' position by ordering everyone else on the team around, but she also really just wants the team to succeed and this is finally her chance. And Fitz is struggling to keep some authority over his hodge-podge team and obviously wouldn't appreciate some entitled girl doing his job for him. You've set up a really great and believable conflict between your characters already and it's only two chapters in!

I am loving this story so far and would love to keep reading but it's quite late at night so I'll be back tomorrow :P

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Review #36, by marauderfan The Harpy With the Mohawk

10th July 2014:
Hi WTM! I always enjoy reading your work so this was a great reminder to come by and read more of it ;)

I must say, after having read Unsinkable, this is quite a change, despite the main characters of both having the same name :P Molly II is FABULOUS. Seriously, from the first line with her wearing leather and styling her hair in a green mohawk... haha. I can't imagine Molly I is too thrilled with her style choices, and probably laments the fact that Molly II wears punk leather instead of lovingly knitted Weasley sweaters. Such is life. I digress. Anyway, I love that she's got this rebellious style AND was Head Girl at Hogwarts and got 12 NEWTs. She basically defies all stereotypes. Love her.

Poor girl though, that must be hard realising your dream job is not what you dreamed. That's a really important decision to make on the spot, so good for her! I love that she's planning to dye her mohawk purple for joining the Prides :D

Megan McCormack seems like an interesting character who's willing to take a lot of risks. I suppose at that point the team didn't have much to lose, if they were tied with the Chudley Cannons! Well, only time will tell whether it was wise or incredibly foolish of her to fire half the team and then steal reserves from the other teams. She's definitely crafty.

And Fitz certainly seems to be in an unwelcome situation, having to train all these new people when he doesn't have much experience training. I can see why he'd be furious with McCormack! Especially so because it sounds like she hired his ex, as well.

Great introductions to all your characters, and this looks like an entertaining story so far!!

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Review #37, by nott theodore Tentative Hope

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Yay for Molly and Fitz! They're so cute together and I think Fitz is really cute - he's giving away a lot more of his feelings than Molly does as far as this is concerned, I think. It's a nice change because I feel like a lot of stories that I read, the guy is always more reticent and so it's refreshing to read a story when the girl isn't giving quite so much away. I can understand why they'd think they have to hide it - especially with all the talk of being professional, and the fact that the team has only just started talking to each other again, but it's kind of frustrating :P

Aw, I loved seeing Hugo in this chapter again! It's great to see him and I liked the fact that he was being protective of Molly - not without reason, because while they're not properly together yet, Fitz seems to benefit more from Molly's presence at the moment than she does from his.

And yes, finally! The team retreat seems to have worked because they've finally won a match! :D

Sian :)
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Review #38, by nott theodore Surprising Depths

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Fitz knew how to get them on side with that Hangover Cure Potion at the beginning of this chapter :P You know, I think that they've spent about as much time drinking on this retreat as they actually have doing all the trust exercises that are meant to bring them closer as a team. Still, in spite of all my doubts about this week, they do seem to be getting closer. Even if it's just because they're bonding over not wanting to have to do all the silly tasks that Lefoque is asking them to do. But that's good, at least, and they're talking to Molly again now, as well as Fitz. I think that their plan for them to skive off was a good one!

Although Mariah doesn't like Molly and Molly doesn't know why? I feel like it probably is jealousy although perhaps there is another reason, I'm not sure. And all the Molly and Fitz time was great! They're so cute together although their decision is definitely not professional :P I wonder how this will pan out...

Sian :)
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Review #39, by nott theodore A Fine Line

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Oh dear, this retreat idea just seems to keep on getting worse and worse! How on earth is this retreat still open? Do people actually go back there? I've just never been able to understand all these trust-building exercises properly and I've always wondered whether they actually work, especially when you have to go away for them like this. I suppose though in a way that they are getting some sort of benefit from the retreat, if only because they're bonding over their hatred of the exercises they're being made to do and that's got to be a good thing. I'm surprised someone hasn't jinxed Lefoque by now, to be honest - I think that if it hadn't been for Fitz trying to keep them on track then they would have done by now :P

It's good that some of the team are slowly starting to talk to Molly and they're getting on better again now. Although most of the bonding seems to be done best in the pub :P I loved the conversation between the locals though, it was so funny! And then there was lots of lovely flirting with Molly and Fitz, which was great!

Sian :)
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Review #40, by nott theodore A Sabotaged Sorceress

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

I wasn't expecting that the retreat would be a good idea even though the team do need something to get them all working together again as an actual team, but I'm not sure that a retreat is really the best way to do it. All of these trust exercises made me laugh, it was so funny to read Lefoque trying to make them do all these things and expecting them to take it seriously when the team just didn't want to do it, though. But in a way it's working, I guess? At least Molly and Zara had a conversation that wasn't Molly being blamed for the team's losses. Even if it's just bonding over the lack of good tea in the place!

Aw, so many cute Fitz and Molly moments in this chapter! Especially when they were doing the trust exercises and moving closer to each other, and Fitz just wants to stay there! I quite like the fact that neither of them are trying to hide the fact they like each other at this point, to the other, anyway - but I think from Mariah's reaction during the trust exercise, I felt like there could be some trouble brewing in the future...

Sian :)
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Review #41, by nott theodore A Pack of Wild Dogs

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

What a great chapter! I'm hoping to get through the whole of this story so I'm caught up soon before you start posting the next updates, it's just so compelling to read and I'm enjoying it so much!

I loved the awkward conversation at the beginning of the chapter with Molly and Fitz. Lots of awkward moments in this chapter, actually. It might be easy to agree that they'll stay just friends and pretend that the kiss never happened so they don't have to tell anyone about it, but it's going to be an awful lot harder to actually do that. Especially for Fitz. Fitz can't seem to stop thinking about kissing her.

Oh dear, the team is playing really badly at the moment! And I feel sorry for Molly, being ignored by all the people you're captaining can't be a nice experience. It's no wonder that they lost again, really, although they didn't lose so drastically, even with Molly's bad arm. I'm glad Meghan's around to give them the kick up the bum they need! But I can't wait to see how this retreat turns out, I feel like it has a lot of potential for both humour and awkwardness!

Sian :)
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Review #42, by nott theodore Magpies and Mistakes

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Oh my goodness, they kissed! That was a happier ending to a bit of a depressing chapter, with the way that everything went wrong all the way through, especially when it came to the game. But back to the kiss in a bit.

I like the way that Molly's trying to take care of the whole team and make sure that they stick together, even if it's going to be difficult. And she's doing a good job so far, which is why she deserves to be captain much more than Zara does at this point, I think. Haha, the scene with Fitz snooping round Molly's room was so funny!

Oh dear, the match really didn't go well. It's like the whole team just fell apart, no matter how much training they've been doing. And then afterwards, with them all blaming either Fitz or Molly - it's unfair, I think, because all of them played after all. I feel like Mariah's accusations towards Molly might have something to do with the fact she's realised that Fitz and Molly like each other...

Okay, go to a bar and drown your sorrows, because clearly that solves everything :P I knew it wouldn't be a good idea and that something would happen but I enjoyed reading the kiss so I'm not going to complain! I just hope it doesn't get out to too many people and I can't wait to see where they go from here!

Sian :)
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Review #43, by nott theodore Drills and Defense

9th July 2014:
Hello!

Aw, what a cute chapter! I haven't properly read any real next generation romance for so long, and it's so nice to come across a story that's as well written and compelling as this one. So now we know that Fitz likes Molly! Well, I knew it anyway from all the tension that there's been between them, but at least now he's actually admitting it to himself and to Max as well, which is progress, right? Max was really funny though, some of his lines really made me laugh.

Haha, I love Molly's audacity. She's so determined to get them trained up to her standards that she just takes over the whole schedule herself and tells the team to do something other than what the coach has told them, and they do it! At least they're improving, even if the season's going to be a hard one for them to get through and they've not got a chance against the Magpies. I'm glad that she got made Captain, though! And I was shocked when Fitz came to her for help, and even more surprised when he asked her if they had a chance - I can't wait to see how the romance develops between the pair of them!

Sian :)
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Review #44, by nott theodore Flight and Family

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

I think it's great to see how well you're developing all the main characters in this story and not just focusing on one. I've been told before how good your writing is and now I'm enjoying reading it for myself! I liked the fact that we got to see more of Fitz at the beginning of this chapter, although I felt sorry for him when his shoulder was paining him so much. Then we got to see Hugo, too! I've never seen him as a Healer before so it's interesting to see him in that job. This mention of a curse, though - I'd just assumed that Fitz had been injured in a Quidditch accident, but it seems like there was something more malicious to it... I wonder what it could be?

I love getting to see more of Molly, too. The fact that she's inherited some of Percy's personality with all the bossiness and determination makes her more recognisable as his daughter, but I liked the fact she's so nice and caring, too. And the introduction to the rest of her family was great, especially seeing the scene with the two sisters and their closeness here.

Sian :)
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Review #45, by nott theodore The Dreaded Ex

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Ah, I suspected something like this! I realised after the first chapter that there was history between Fitz and Mariah Waldman, but I hadn't realised the extent of it - that they'd been married and they're now divorced. And they haven't seen each other at all in two years? Hmm, that's interesting. Nobody knows the reason they broke up, either... I'm so intrigued by this now!

Other than that, Mariah is just annoying. Really, really irritating. She needs to grow up and stop trying to push all of Fitz's buttons - like he hasn't got a hard enough job as it is, trying to put an entirely new team together in half a training season? I'm glad that Molly picked up on it, though. She's more sensitive than she'd seem at first, even if the main reason Mariah's behaviour irritated her at the beginning was because it was disrupting their training. But I like the way that you're slowly developing and revealing parts of Molly's character in this story so we get to know her gradually.

Yay, so hopefully Mariah will start to cut it out a bit and be more sensible after Molly spoke to her. But I have a feeling that won't be the end of it, especially after the ending of this chapter when there were butterflies and attraction and tension between Molly and Fitz. It's so exciting!

Sian :)
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Review #46, by nott theodore The New Lineup

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Ah, this was another fantastic chapter! Which is now making me question why I haven't read any of your work before, because I love your writing style in this. It's just so easy and enjoyable to read and I get sucked right into the story.

It was nice to see Roxanne there with Molly - supposedly helping her - at the beginning of the chapter, since I don't feel like she's a character we see often. And then it was good to get a hint of their relationship too, because Roxanne was obviously concerned for Molly and wanted to make sure that she was doing the right thing and hadn't just made a spur of the moment decision.

I loved the bossy side to Molly's personality that came through here - even if she is a bit of a punk, there are still elements of Percy Weasley in her! The colour coding of everything made me laugh, as did the fact that she turned up with an armful of training schedules for the coach to look at, even though she's only just joined the team. I feel like there's going to be a lot of tension between Molly and Fitz in future chapters, although admittedly, they probably need a better schedule than working one day at a time...

Sian :)
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Review #47, by nott theodore The Harpy With the Mohawk

9th July 2014:
Hi WTM! I thought that it was about time I came and left some reviews for our lovely staffers while I'm in the middle of this reviewing frenzy, and this story has been something I've wanted to read for a while, even though I've not had chance to read the Midnight Run series yet.

This is the first time in any next generation story I've read that I've seen Molly characterised the way she is here - not only a Quidditch player, but a bit of a punk - a Quidditch player with a green mohawk! It's so original and made me intrigued in the story straight away with the description at the beginning which told us about her appearance but also the situation Molly's been in with regards to getting to play Quidditch.

I love the set up in this chapter already! The meeting was with McCormack was so well written and I thought the dialogue was great, because it seemed so believable. It's exciting that Molly's going to captain the new team! Fitz was an interesting character too, and I could understand his frustration at being told he's got half of the training season to sort out a whole new team of players who've come from all over as reserves - it's not going to be easy! I'm looking forward to seeing what's going to happen next!

Sian :)
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Review #48, by LightLeviosa5443 Strength of Will

7th July 2014:
I'M ALL CAUGHT UP THIS IS SO BITTERSWEET.

And... Enter best friend that's going to tell Fitz he's being stupid. Perfect. I'm glad. This is a brilliant way to start off the chapter. LOL, is that allowed. Awe, Fitz :( Yeah Max, you tell him! I love this scene, this scene is just absolutely brilliant. I love that Max is putting Fitz in his place and pointing out that he's repeating history. I really do just LOVE it. I hate Mariah, still. YES FITZ. YES SHE LOVES YOU.

Well, at least he's being productive and not sitting in a miserable stupor in his flat. I mean, I'd rather have a miserable productive coach than a miserable unproductive coach. Gosh, Fitz. Pay attention. Woah, dreads? That sure is different! Ugh, Fitz, stop being a punk. Ooh, he's thinking about her hair. AWE, he's in so deep there's no return. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE A THING THIS IS PAINFULLY HEARTBREAKING. UGH.

MARIAH IS SUCH A ksnjdk fnrjedkgkfjdm I wish I had more appropriate 12+ words to use there. My keyboard slamming will have to be enough to convey my emotions on that one. HOW DOES SHE THINK THAT SHE CAN JUST BE SO... BLAH. LIKE YOU DESTROYED TWO WHOLE RELATIONSHIPS, ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? Good for Fitz. Don't forgive her. Unless she fixes it between them, then she deserves a little credit. But I don't think she'd do that, so...

Haha, this is great. Smells like my grandmother's house. I love Beathans obsession with the gardens. She's such a funny character, that Beathan. WHY WON'T THEY JUST GET INTO A FIGHT AND ADMIT THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. CAN THAT HAPPEN?! SOON?! I might die if they don't get back together soon. The suspense is LITERALLY killing me. Can't you tell by the constant caps-lock? sorry not sorry about that, by the way. :)

Awe. He stared at her and she stared at him and just awe. I also love the concept of that scene, he's in the window and she's down there with Beathan and then she's down there and he's in the window and Beathan is beautifully oblivious so it's this moment that is private and sweet but isn't private at all. Holy run on sentence, now I really am sorry for that. LOL I love how the word bucket wakes up Jinks. Priorities, man.

Oof, Fitz didn't need another way of being loud. He really didn't. I think everyone could've lived without that whistle. I can hear it in my head and it hurts my ears. I love that you point out how much work it is for them to play and how big of a workout it is. I can only imagine how intense it is to be swinging and blocking and flipping and rolling and throwing all while mainting balance on a broom. I mean, just wow.

What's up with Fitz and Rakes? OH. Oh wow. Poor Fitz. But he doesn't have to be mean to Molly. I think she's hurting more than he is. He's just being stupid and blind. She's genuinely hurt because he's offensive AND she loves him. So... STOP BEING A VERY MEAN RUDE PERSON FITZ. JUST STOP.

Ugh. I want them to kiss and makeup. This was a wonderful chapter, though. I really cannot wait for the next one!! ♥


xoxo Sarah ♥
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Review #49, by LightLeviosa5443 Something Real

7th July 2014:
Hi!

Um, can I just say that I'm reviewing this on the second round of reading it because I cried too much the first time? Like all I can say about the first half of the story is heart. break. I don't even know. I mean, I wanted to hold Molly the whole time. When she went to Lucy's and Hilarion brought her to her parents and everyone panicked and she just went straight for Lucy because she didn't want anyone else. I kind of snickered when Percy was listening in. The scene between him and Molly was adorable. Heartbreaking, but adorable.

I seriously cried the whole time. I didn't stop crying until she went to practice. Just kidding, I was kind of crying still.

I love that she was late. That's really... Important, I guess is the word. I hate that Fitz is so blind that he thinks that she's okay. Like they're both living with this facade on and neither one can see that the other is totally miserable. I want to knock both of their heads together so they get that they're absolutely insanely in love. Ugh. Heart broken.

Awe, she left the table broken. Awe she wants Fitz there. ugh i want them to be a couple. Oh wow, is she going to change her hair? SHE'S CHANGING HER HAIR. WAIT. WHAT IS SHE DOING TO IT? I'm particularly curious. I loved the transition of this chapter and the way it ended, though. As broken as my heart is, as painfully short this review is (sorry, I have too many feels to be coherent and I couldn't completely re-read because I started re-crying, oops), this was a wondiferous chapter.

xoxo Sarah ♥
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Author's Response: Aww really? Making people cry is just as awesome as making people laugh - I do love to make some feelings happen, so thank you very much for that :D This is definitely a low point for Molly, and she just really needed her sister. As different as they are, they're so close and Lucy was the only one she wanted to talk to. Except of course until Percy butts in. I can totally see him eavesdropping on his kids to find out what they're up to. Especially when Molly's hysterical and she never cries - she does keep her deeper emotions to herself a lot.

Her being late is - and he knew it but tried not to let himself think about how significant it was, because he wants to convince himself he was right, that she didn't love him and would have dumped him eventually, because he needs to believe this was the best course and that he hasn't ruined his life here.

She did change her hair - more on that in the next chapter. This is a wonderful review, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked this chapter, even though it made you cry.


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Review #50, by LightLeviosa5443 Colour-Coded and Perfect

7th July 2014:
Hello, back for more! Yay!

Awe, he felt warm in his toes because of Mollys smile. That's so cute. Oh wow, he didn't scream and yell like usual? It was a good practice? Uh oh McCormack. I CALLED IT. I TOTALLY CALLED IT. I HATE MARIAH SHE CAN JUST LEAVE NOW. BYE MARIAH BYE. I hope Fitz yells at her, but I'm afraid if Fitz goes and yells at her then she'll try to kiss him and Molly will walk in and it'll be bad. SO maybe Fitz should just stay put. Oh my god. She's not going to fire him is she? Okay, maybe I should scroll down and read instead of freaking out... Yeah, I'll do that.

AWE. FITZ IS IN SO DEEP AND SO IN LOVE AND SO JUST CUTE AND HE CAN'T EVEN HAVE HER. Ugh. Poor baby. I want to cuddle him. Molly is going to be devastated when she finds out. I might cry a little. I'm afraid. I HATE MARIAH SO STINKIN MUCH IT'S PAINFUL. Ugh. My heart is already breaking and he hasn't even said anything yet. And Molly is so gentle and so kind and she's so comforting and he's just broken. I hope he says that McCormack said they can't see each other anymore. At least.

Oh god. What a cute family interlude before the heartbreak. Um, Fitz, you are TERRIBLE at breaking up with people. He really is. Poor Molly. Poor Fitz. I just want to cuddle them both. Ugh. Awe. I can't even say anything. That was so sad. You did a beautiful job of writing that, but I'm not happy about it. THAT WAS SO SAD.

Poor Molly :(

That was a wonderfully heartbreaking chapter. I've never raced off to read the next one so fast. Ever. (by the way, the chapter title fits the chapter beautifully).


xoxo Sarah ♥
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: He loves her ;) Her smiles make him happy. And yes, he didn't have to scream. Not much, anyway, since he's always cussing at someone. Mariah is rotten. You called it! Good job :) Yes, keep reading, don't freak out!

He's pretty pathetic when he's all in love and self-sacrificing, isn't he? But cute.

And she is very gentle and comforting but Fitz just then did not need her to put it quite the way she did, she sort of inadvertently triggered a bunch of his insecurities. He is completely crap at break ups.

Thank you so much for the review! I always love reading your reviews :D I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks especially for the comment about the title. I have a hard time with titles.


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