Reading Reviews for The New Pride of Portree
71 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Bigfan The Harpy With the Mohawk

30th December 2013:
This looks like it will be very interesting! I hope you are a frequent updater because I happen to be slightly obsessive and impatient when it comes to great stories and this one looks very promising!

Author's Response: I try to update regularly - sometimes it gets away from me. But I am compulsive about finishing stories, so no fears - it will get done. :) Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it so far.

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Review #27, by CambAngst Flight and Family

25th December 2013:
Hello, again!

He might make her skin tingle when he touched her, but he was pricklier than a knarl and she did not have time right now for a high-maintenance man. -- Sorry to start off with the very last line of the chapter, but I absolutely loved it. There's something about taking a well-worn, gender-based stereotype and turning it on its ear that always makes for a snappy one-liner. Excellent ending.

Back to the beginning, I enjoyed seeing some of what Fitz is dealing with in his life. Living with chronic pain can do horrible things to a person's mindset, even without any other problems weighing them down. The physical descriptions of his injuries helped to give things even more gravity. Sounds like it was a pretty gruesome injury. Then you layer on the bitterness of having a job where he was to spend so much time around people doing something that he used to love and isn't able to do any more. It's not a recipe for a happy, well-adjusted person. The confrontation with Molly on the pitch said a lot. He finds one of his star players getting in extra practice on her own time. He should be thrilled. Instead, he can't keep himself from being rude to her. I hope for his sake that something comes of Hugo's desire to help him. Otherwise, he's on a very self-destructive course.

For her part, I liked that Molly seemed more intrigued than offended by his boorish behavior. She's a sharp cookie, always analyzing other people's behavior and trying to figure out what's going on underneath their facades. She nails it with Fitz. He's such a basket case at this point. Back to my original praise for your closing line. High maintenance.

I love what you've done with Molly's family. I always have a strange fascination with how authors write Audrey when she appears in a story, because I find that it tells you everything you need to know about how the author thinks of Percy. You went with the warm, loving, slightly put-upon wife and mother. That always suggests to me that you envision Percy as lovable and well-meaning but slightly goofy. A more high-strung and ambitious version of his father. The alternative is the more aloof, social-climbing office politician Percy, which usually translates into Audrey being cool and a bit snotty. I like your version better, for what it's worth. Lucy seems pretty down-to-earth, as well. And her husband seems like a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. Overall, a very likable bunch.

I'm glad that Molly has arrived at a more proactive stance with regard to her team. Something is going to have to shake Fitz out of this torpor that he's mired in, and Molly seems like the woman for the job. Doesn't hurt that the two of them are hot for one another.

I can't believe I'm getting to say this, but I actually found a typo:

She had them all snowed into believing a winning season was imminent when it was far from a certainty that they'd win even won game. -- "... win one game." I feel like I just landed a picture of a Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster. Typos in WTM's stories were rumored to exist, but reputable experts were skeptical...

Great job. You have a very enjoyable cast of characters here and I'm excited to see where you take them next.

Author's Response: Flipping gender stereotypes is fun, isn't it? Molly has no patience for high-maintenance people. Drama she can put up with, cause everyone she's related to is ridiculous in some way. ha.

Chronic pain really is a horrible thing to live with - Fitz not only has the pain weighing him down, but it serves as a constant reminder of what he lost. The scars are a bit gruesome - he got hit pretty bad. Recipe for being badly-adjusted for sure!

Molly's very smart - like her dad. Lots of book smarts, but more people smarts than Percy had. She does like analyze other people quite often. "Basket case" made me laugh - he kind of is!

I like your thinking about Audrey. I've noticed that sort of polarity in how she's portrayed - either she's a snotty social-climber or she's sort of put-upon and kind. I like the put-upon nice lady version better, and probably that is because I think Percy saw the error of his ways in the end. And Lucy and her hubby are pretty down-to-earth, yeah. Hilarion, for all he's famous and gorgeous, is not the sharpest crayon in the shed, but he loves his wife. Molly likes him well enough as a brother. ;)

A typo! I do make them. I usually catch 99% of them in edits and re-reads, but sometimes I miss them. Ah well. Thanks for letting me know! I fixed it.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #28, by missdagane A Pack of Wild Dogs

21st December 2013:
loved it. As usual your chapter is amazing . Can't wait to see this lot in the retreat :-)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Oh yeah, this group in close proximity doing trust falls? hahaha...

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Review #29, by Secret Santa-Claw The Dreaded Ex

18th December 2013:
Secret Santa-Claw has been a bit slack, she left one of your reviews at the bottom of her sack!! It was buried under a pile of other goodies ;) Apologies, this should have got to you yesterday!

Without further ado, on with the review :) (Sorry, i shall stop with the rhyming now... maybe) I loved this chapter even more than the previous two! It was full of backstory whilst moving the plot forward beautifully :)

I really liked the opening scene of this chapter, with Fitz practically dragging Jinks to the practice session :D I think that's what my manager would like to do to me, hehe! I like Jinks, he's an amusing character, I hope we see more of him :) The interaction between Jinks and Fitz was great, it really tickled me. I also liked how testy Fitz was each time Jinks teased him about Molly, and I don't think he reacted that way just because he finds her a bit annoying ;)

Gah!! I loved how you had Fitz thinking he'd let Molly deal with Mariah ad then Molly thinking the exact same thing :) I'm not keen on Mariah, I hope Molly does sort her out! The way Molly deals with her at the party was great - I don't think she'll continue being miss nice with her though, I can see Mariah being a huge antagonist here and I can't see Molly standing for it!

Aw, I felt a bit sad for Fitz towards the end when he says 'I don't have anything else to do' :( I hope Mariah doesn't drive him away from his coaching - she strikes me as the sort of person who would get pleasure out of it if she did though.

Squee!! I loved the ending of this chapter :D Fitz and Molly get on so much better out of work - I think they should meet up out of work more often! I'm looking forward to seeing them have that drink they rain-checked on! I do love a bit of romance and I'm rooting for those two to provide some here!!

Another fantabulous chapter :)

- Secret Santa-Claw ♥

Author's Response: I'm so embarrassed that it took me so long to get my act together and respond. So, thank you so much for being my Secret Santa-Claw, I really appreciated the kind reviews. I'm glad you're liking the story.

Jinks needs to be bodily dragged to any sort of responsibility, except games. He's in it for the glory haha. I like Jinks too, so he'll continue to get screen time.

Mariah's pretty annoying, isn't she? Molly does make a good attempt at sorting her out, though. ;)

Fitz is sort of pathetic sometimes, poor guy. His life went in the crapper and he's still trying to figure things out. Mariah probably would like driving him off, yeah.

I'm a sucker for romance, so... Romance is the main point here! lol. Thanks so much for reviewing! *hugs*

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Review #30, by CambAngst The Dreaded Ex

17th December 2013:
Hello, again! I see you've been really busy since the last time I stopped by for a read.

Life doesn't seem to be getting any better for Fitz. It was smart of him to go drag Jinks out of bed. That was one of the few things he's done so far that suggests a real capacity to take charge. But it seems like mostly just so he can beat Molly to work. Somebody seems to be feeling a bit challenged.

Then comes Mariah, and he has every reason to feel challenged. She's quite a piece of work. Not exactly openly defying him, but it's almost as though she just wants to show that she can still affect him with her flirting and pouting. I hope there's more to what's going on here than what I see at first blush. She could be a very interesting antagonist for Fitz and/or Molly.

I have to say, I really like Molly's approach to dealing with the problem. Those Weasley genes are coming through strong. I loved the scene you set up in her apartment. It's like a combination of a gathering at the Burrow and a drunken college party. Shading more toward the latter as time goes on...

At least Mariah didn't seem at all defensive about Molly questioning her. She seemed rather passive about the whole thing, to be honest. Almost like, "Oh, really, that might cause problems for me and for the team? Well, then, I guess I should knock it off." Like I said, I really hope there's more to her, because this would be way too easy.

Ooh! I though there might be a touch of romantic tension emerging between Molly and her coach. From Molly's point of view, in particular, it seems that Fitz is able to get her heart beating just a bit faster. If Mariah likes the idea that she can still get under Fitz's skin, this isn't going to play well at all...

As with every chapter, your writing was superb. Everything flows really well and you have a real knack for capturing the little personality quirks of your characters and drawing them out through their private thoughts. You're excellent at writing all of the little "tangents" that people have with their internal monologues. It's light and fun to read and it makes it really easy to connect with the characters.

Back again soon!

Author's Response: Not as busy as I should have been! I need to get my butt in gear and finish chapter 8.

Fitz is feeling a bit challenged ;) He doesn't quite know how to be in charge. Really ought to work that out.

Molly's quite the Weasley. She deals with people in roundabout ways. I think that's a Weasley trait - Arthur smooths the way for others so they'll smooth the way for him. Molly's good at seeing people's motivations and using them. Mariah thought Molly was a dispassionate observer - and she's not too smart, so she's easily manipulated. But - spoilers - it won't last.

Molly loves to throw parties and play hostess. Dominique inherited that particular gene too, but being Dominique, her parties are pretentious and catered and sedate, and Molly's parties involve a lot of alcohol and gambling and are more likely to end in the police turning up ;)

Ah yes, romantic tension happening there. You know I'm a romance author! I love to write people falling in love. So while this is a Quidditch story... it's a Quidditch romance.

Thank you so much for the compliments on my writing! That really made my day. :D

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Review #31, by Secret Santa-Claw The New Lineup

17th December 2013:
Good tidings, momotwins :) Secret Santa-Claw back with another Yuletide review!

I'm loving your portrayal of Molly Weasley even more after this chapter. I saw more and more of Percy in her here - being so organised, punctual, particular and bossy... But I find her far more likeable than I found her father in the books :) I confess, I was a bit disappointed she had changed her hair back to it's natural red though, I was hoping she'd have made it purple (my favourite colour ;) if I was magical I'm sure I'd have supported the Prides just for their colour scheme hehe)

Hee, I really liked the interaction between Molly and Roxanne in the opening scene, it had me giggling :) I love that you have made the two of them close; in a short space you have portrayed a really strong relationship between them which is extra nice because I've only really seen Molly in fanfic as an outsider of the family. So, in my opinion, it is a refreshing take on the character.

Already we've got some of the backstory on Fitz :) yay! When I mentioned it in the last review I did not expect to see it so soon, I thought I'd be kept waiting. And the snippet of Roxanne's back story has made me want to read the Midnight Run trilogy :D *adds stories to her reading list* I'll finish what's up of this first though!

Going back to Molly, I loved that she was not impressed by Coach Slapdash - of course someone so organised would be less than enamoured by someone so unorganised and unprepared! The way she acted with him was great. I felt for Fitz in this chapter though; he is trying to find his feet and become established in his new role and then he has Molly trying to immediately take over and other team members being recalcitrant (that is a great word by the way, I had to look it up but now I have a new word in my vocabulary - which is always good ;)) that can not be easy for him!

This was another great chapter and I look forward to reading on :)

- Secret Santa-Claw ♥

Author's Response: Hi again! :) She really is a lot like Percy. Not a clone, but a lot of similarity. Her sister is much less so. And don't worry, the purple will make an appearance. She's removed the Harpies green but isn't totally sold on Prides purple yet.

Molly and Roxanne, in my Next Gen world, are BFFs, so in "Sparks" and the Midnight Run stories, they had a few scenes of their mutual-teasing sort of relationship. Molly is quite busy with her career but is close with her cousins - they're a tight-knit bunch in my version. Lucy's more of a loner, actually. After Victoire (as the eldest of the grandchildren and a natural earth mother type), Molly is the default leader of the group - it's in her nature to take charge.

Anyway, yes some of his backstory appears! Roxanne's backstory is only a little bit in the first two Midnight Run novels (brief mention in JAMR, and a few scenes in AWSOM), and mostly it's "Sparks". It's Roxanne's and Lucy's story.

Nope, Molly's obsessive need for order does not leave room for being impressed by Coach Slapdash. And he, being a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants person by nature, is not impressed with Molly's OCD organization or her urges to be in charge of everything.

Thank you so much for the review! I'm really glad to hear you liked these chapters, and I hope you like the rest! If you get a chance to finish reading, I'd love to hear what you think of the rest of the story. :)

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Review #32, by Secret Santa-Claw The Harpy With the Mohawk

17th December 2013:
Ho ho ho, Secret Santa-claws here with the first of your Ravenclaw Christmas gifts :)

I really enjoyed this opening chapter! I particularly loved your original portrayal of Molly Weasley in this, and that she is the main character. I am used to seeing her as a background character and being portrayed as a bit of a mini Percy, so I was intrigued by the description of her in the very first paragraph - as far from a mini-percy as you could get! I thought it was great that while her appearance is not what you would expect from Percy's daughter, she still has some very Percy-like qualities. For example, her logical thought processes about the move to a floundering team, her academic back ground and exam results etc. I found it awesome that she was neither a (female) clone nor the complete opposite - you have given her a more realistic character here :)

I also like the OC's you've introduced here; Fitz, Max and McCormack seem like interesting characters and I look forward to seeing how they develop as the story continues :) I am particularly interested in Fitz, and the snippets of his back story have me intrigued - is this covered in more detail later in the story, or is it in the Midnight Run trilogy? Either way I am excited to read about his story :)

I've not read a Quidditch based story before, and if I am honest I've not really been drawn to them before. However, this seems a very interesting premise for a story and I am intrigued as to where it leads :D

All-in-all, a great opening chapter that I really enjoyed reading and look forward to reading on!

-Secret Santa-Claw ♥

Author's Response: Hiya and thank you so much for reviewing!

I'm glad you're enjoying the opening salvo - I wrote Molly as a background character a few times in the Rose stories I write, then with a slightly larger role in "Sparks", so it felt time to give her her own story. She's got a lot of Percy's meticulousness, ambition, and feeling of always being right ;) Her aesthetic is more of her uncle Bill's "cool" though, with the leather, dyed hair, mohawk, and postmodern style. She's fun to write.

More about Fitz's backstory will come out throughout the story, yes. This is his first appearance in a story. Same for his buddy Max, and for Meghan McCormack, who is actually a canon character. I love developing OCs, so I'm always happy when readers like them too.

It's both a romance and a sports story. I'm not super experienced with writing sports (or for that matter, with watching them), so I'm hoping that aspect of the plot turns out.

Thanks again for reviewing, and I'm sorry for the delayed response!

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Review #33, by Hope's Mom A Pack of Wild Dogs

7th December 2013:
Losing is the pits - forced retreats to develop some cohesion sometimes work. Maybe McCormick will get lucky. Will Fitz and Molly be in for more awkwardness? It seems likely. Fitz's unhappiness over Molly's attitude about their kiss was amusing. Thank you for a new chapter!

Author's Response: Losing is no fun. Awkwardness isn't much fun either. Poor Fitz, he got the tables turned on him and didn't know how to handle it. She said exactly what he was going to say! The retreat will be fun ;) Maybe not for the Prides...

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #34, by Penelope Inkwell A Pack of Wild Dogs

6th December 2013:
Well, its unsurprising that theyd not be a cohesive team, given all the factors at play. Fitz has it right, though, when he blames them for taking the easy route--blaming others instead of shouldering the responsibility of their own poor performance. But at least from here we can really only go up. And at least Jinks caught the Snitch, so it ended on their own terms. Hopefully this retreat will do some good, or the knowledge that, if they ever want to play Quidditch again for the Pride or any team, theyll have to pull themselves together. I have hope : )

Yeah, well see how long this kiss-embargo lasts between Fitz and Molly. Theyre both practical and professional, particularly Molly, so of course they had to say that. But, I mean, come on. Its only a matter of time.

Thanks for the new chapter! I really enjoy this story :D


Author's Response: He's definitely got a point there. Nobody is taking personal responsibility there. It's good Jinks actually is fast at the Snitch, or they'd probably be the new Chudley Cannons. Hang on to hope! Maybe they'll get better.

Practical and professional vs strong attraction - what will win? ;) I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, and thank you so much for the review!

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Review #35, by Penelope Inkwell Magpies and Mistakes

29th November 2013:
Hooray! New chapter!

Ouch, that was a rough game. But it was realistic. How could a brand new team that only had a week of good practice expect to measure up against one of the better teams in the league? Also, I like that you made Molly play poorly. It makes *her* more realistic, as well. I mean, shes obviously capable, but even so. We all have our off days. I know that exact feeling she mentions, the one where, as much as you just want to tell yourself to get over it and do the job well, you can just feel in your bones that it isnt going to go well, and its hard to come back from that. It was a very easy description to relate to.

Also, Fitz + Molly! Finally! All that sexual tension actually has an outlet! And that part was very well-written. You just see it all leading up to it, and...can it be? Will it happen? Surely n--Oh my gosh, YESSS!

So, that was great. Thanks for another chapter! Im really enjoying this fic. I think its time I favorited it, really.


Author's Response: Everybody has off days! In my dance troupe, we call those performances the "let us never speak of this again" ones. Sometimes you just can't bring it. I'm glad that scene turned out. They were never going to win their first game, but going up against Montrose was an issue. If they'd played the Cannons first, maybe they would've shown up better. ;)

Writing those two having drunk flirtiness at the pub was very fun, I have to admit. I'm glad the reviewers are liking that :D

Thanks so much for reviewing, and for favoriting!

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Review #36, by Gryffin_Duck Magpies and Mistakes

26th November 2013:
Yay! They finally kissed! Probably wasn't the best of circumstances- just coming off a loss and spending the whole night in a pub. But still, they kissed! I imagine the next training session will be really awkward, but hopefully they get over that quickly.

I had a feeling they'd lose to the Magpies, but not quite so spectacularly. I'm guessing it was the nerves that really got them, especially Molly. But as long as they beat the Cannons, they won't be completely hopeless. I just hope they get it together and stop blaming each other, because if they don't start acting like a team they'll never win. Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yes! I loved writing that scene, so I'm glad you liked it. They will definitely have some issues adjusting to having kissed, though.

Half the team is used to always losing, and the other half is used to sitting on the bench. First time being starters for half this lot, that's intimidating. Definitely a likelihood for stage fright (or whatever the sporting equivalent is).

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story :)

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Review #37, by Gryffin_Duck Drills and Defense

26th November 2013:
Aww, I loved this chapter! It's so nice to see Molly and Fitz finally getting along. I'm glad McCormack talked with him, otherwise he would probably still be too stubborn to realize Molly had been right. I only hope that when they do get together, it doesn't screw up the team.

Molly's idea to get Jinks to actually do his job was hilarious. Hopefully he takes it to heart and continues to listen and practice. I wouldn't put it past Molly to do exactly what she said she would do. Great chapter! Off to read the next now. :)

Author's Response: It's about time they did! McCormack pretty much comes around when someone needs a good solid kick in the rear end. She's good at that. XD

It was certainly effective! Jinks like the ladies. And in a small town, he needs to not have a bad reputation or no one would go near him. Molly would totally actually do it, too. lol... Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #38, by Hope's Mom Magpies and Mistakes

23rd November 2013:
Ouch - what an ugly loss! I was surprised that Molly gave in and kissed Fitz already. The alcohol probably helped that along? I think Mariah will be exceedingly unpleasant if she finds out that Molly and Fitz like each other. Thank you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Pretty painful for the Prides. Definitely the booze's influence there - you'll have to see the next chapter to see where it goes from there. A kiss doesn't make things easy. Mariah might already have an inkling - she does know Fitz pretty well, after all...

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #39, by Hope's Mom Drills and Defense

3rd November 2013:
Great story and character development in this chapter. The moments at the end where Fitz asks "Have we got anything like a chance?" and says "Don't forgive me until I deserve it." were really nice. I was not surprised that Molly got the non-chaser part of the team to practice more effectively - it seemed like something she would do. Thahk you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking the story :) Molly's definitely a more effective leader. Fitz never had to learn, since he was the star before his injury. It's hard to change personality gears. Molly hasn't had to do that yet. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #40, by MissesWeasley123 Flight and Family

29th October 2013:
Lucy Weasley is so awesome. So awesome. I loved everything about her, she was so funny.

How are all your characters funny?! It's crazy! Even Audrey! Now I really want to meet Victoire, she's so different from everything I'd imagined. Clearly she's not one of the skinnier cousins at this point, and the whole idea of after-baby-fat was hilarious.

Hugo was really done well. I liked him. He was really cool and smart and just all around a nice guy. I was feeling bad for him when Fitz kept on snapping at him, but he seems to have his own reasons on that.

McCormack's bit at the beginning of the chapter was golden too, but I loved Percy in this.

He was so aggravating, it was kind of funny. His pompous-ness filled the air and it's like, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" ;)

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Ah if you're wondering about Victoire, you haven't read the Midnight Run stories. Rose likes to hang out with Victoire, so she features in all three of those novels and then in "Next Midnight" and briefly in "Sparks". She is not skinny for sure, and wasn't really even before popping out a couple of kids with Teddy. She's round, short, and red-haired and looks like their grandmother Molly.

I love writing the funny. I wind up making everyone funny even when I don't set out to. lol. I'm glad you liked Hugo! He's one of the saner Weasleys - his sister is very crazy so Hugo is sort of the good child now. Though he does have a habit of not sticking with any one girlfriend for long.

Percy's always Percy. He can't help himself. It's interesting to write him from the perspective of one of his kids, because they don't have that lens of Percy's buttheadedness during the war to see him through. To them, he's just their slightly dorky dad who wants them both to be prefects and successful, a bit pompous but is a pushover really.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #41, by MissesWeasley123 The Dreaded Ex

29th October 2013:
Is it just me or is Mariah annoying? Really annoying. Great chapter, by the way.

Molly's still very straight-to-the-point, which I like, because despite her unique characterization, you still show Percy's genes in her.

That raincheck.. *swoons* I really want that raincheck.

Fitz's personality as a fun person really shows, even though he's a bit distressed and frustrated over Mariah. Who wouldn't be? She is so annoying it's actually painful to read her dialogue. Jinks is so hilarious too, so I'm in love with his character... *swoons again*

So much awesomeness in one chapter, especially the snarky comments! Ha!

Author's Response: She is annoying, especially to Fitz. Molly is very direct. She's got better people skills than Percy. ;)

Raincheck! Can't wait for that.

He used to be a fun-time kind of guy before his injury. He's had a hard time dealing with it. Having to work with your ex-spouse is a punishment he does not deserve. I like Jinks, so I'm glad you like him too. lol He's fun to write.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #42, by missdagane Drills and Defense

29th October 2013:
Sparks are flying :-) I really like Molly: she always seemed cool (with the leather pants and the mohawk), well, that was Rose POV and I like to see more of her: she's a lot like Percy: organized, bossy, but also a little manipulative (liked the way she blackmailed the seeker by the way ;). She's a little like how I see Bill: the cool perfect. I'm liking her more and more. And Fitz: what a character he is. The end was so him. Your fics are always my favorites. You have to know that (but I suppose you've already guessed) english is not my language. I used to read fanfiction and books to learn the language and your fics are perfect for that. Consider it a compliment :-) But it's also sometimes frustrating to not be able to express exactly how I like a chapter and go into the details. It's a pity really because your fics deserve better reviews. But I can only tell you that: I love your fics, I love the universe you created and the OC are so perfect, it's how I imagine the Harry Potter world and I thank you for that. Hope to read the next chapter soon :-)

Author's Response: I think Molly's a lot like Bill. Percy would see her as a lot like him and is super proud, especially for the things she can do that he never managed, like play Quidditch and be cool ;)

I love your reviews! I don't think I ever noticed if English was your first language. I only speak French and a bit of Italian in addition to English, so I'm not much help on other languages. It's hard to read in other languages and then express yourself fully in it. I totally get that. I've read books in French and I don't think I could review them in that language. At any rate, I definitely appreciate any reviews you give :) I'm super pleased that you're enjoying the story. And I'm glad you like my OCs, especially Fitz! I'm pretty fond of him so far, even though he's a bit of a jerk when he's in pain, which unfortunately is all too often. Thank you very much for reviewing!

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Review #43, by Penelope Inkwell The Dreaded Ex

28th October 2013:
AAAannd, there it is. Crush on the coach. Thats trouble brewing ahead, folks.

I like how practical Molly is, for a Weasley. Makes sense, her dad being Percy and all. So often I read stories about a Weasley-Potter who goes into pro Quidditch, but Ive never seen it from Molly. However, in some ways, she makes the most sense. If shes anything as driven and organized as her father (which in your story, she obviously is), then shes perfect for organized sport at a high level. And I like how we see hints of Percy in her (organizational skills, a bit bossy, a tendency to think she knows best), but shes still completely her own character. Now that the set up is all out there, Im really interested to see where this story is going to go!


Author's Response: For sure!

I made Molly the only one to go pro cause in my version of the Weasleys, though the others have talent, Molly's the only one with the discipline and drive for the professional level. She's definitely got a lot of her father in her, though she's "cooler" like Uncle Bill and likes witty quips like her uncles rather than her dad. She definitely has a tendency to think she knows what's best for everyone.

Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story!

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Review #44, by ThestralPrincess Drills and Defense

28th October 2013:
oh, so good, I adore Moly and Fitz. looking forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'll have the next chapter after NaNoWriMo :)

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Review #45, by Nell Drills and Defense

27th October 2013:
Loving the tension!!! Update soon ;) Can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #46, by diversrock Drills and Defense

26th October 2013:
I love this!!! Expecially the pub, though can I suggest changing the name to the Pier Hotel - nobody on Skye/in Portree would call their pub the Rowan Mansion, whereas there is a pub, whose character suits your story very well, called the Peir Hotel...

Looking forward to the next chapter, even if I have to wait till December!

Author's Response: Oh thanks! I don't want to use the name of a real place, I try not to do that. The Rowan Mansion is a folk tale of the Hebrides, which is why I named the pub that. I love to use folk tales and folk history as wizarding stuff so that in my head it can be real tales instead of just myths ;) But I do thank you for the local perspective! Greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reviewing and for sticking with the story! :)

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Review #47, by Hope's Mom Flight and Family

19th October 2013:
I think Molly is right. She should just start doing her own thing. She has nothing to lose especially since Fitz is such a surly, tempermental mess. His injury seems pretty awful with its residual, chronic effects. Hugo seems to have done a good job treating him - too bad Fitz was so resistant to Hugo looking further into the injury and treatment options. It's understandable that Fitz wouldn't want to get his hope up after all this time, however. I love Molly's comment about recognizing a Weasley at 50 paces! Thank you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Fitz is a bit of a mess. He needs someone to give him a swift kick in the butt. His injury is awful, true, but he still needs to pull it together. Ah character arcs ;) It will come. You can definitely spot a Weasley at 50 paces! lol. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #48, by propensity_to_roam Flight and Family

18th October 2013:
I have been following your stories since you first posted the Unsinkable Molly Prewett, but, not being a writer or a member of the site I have never actually posted a comment about any of them. Truthfully, I didn't think I could really contribute anything other then awe and respect at your writing style. It was obvious to me that you didn't actually need my awe and respect, you should have been very well aware of how good your writing was.
It was also obvious that you were not new to writing which lead to me using an odd hour off this morning to do a bit of a google search on you to try and find any original work you may have posted or had published. What I found instead was your twitted site with regular updates that your were worried because no-one had commented on your latest chapter.
It seems I was super wrong about you not needed those messages of awe and admiration. So, I came back to HPFF to say that I am very sorry I haven't commented before now. You have taken the Harry Potter universe and explored its potential in a way that was never possible in the original books (because of the apocalyptic story arc and the specific character focus) and you have populated that universe with a brilliant selection of diverse characters.
I will go back and review the other pieces you have done but for now I will focus on Flight and Family because I have just read that one...
I really love what you have done with expanding Molly's character from her cameo appearances in the MR series. She really is the polar opposite to Rose and I hope that we will get to read more interaction between the two of them. In fact, interactions between the Weasleys are always the best parts. It has given all of your original characters a mission to integrate themselves into the stories, as it should. I imagine that being faced with the Weasleys on mass is not just a little bit intimidating.
Also, I love your characterisation of Percy's family unit. I think Percy adores that his daughter has become a professional quiddich player and that she has taken the values that he holds so dear but has the people skills to make other people understand and respect them. I also bet he secretly likes the hair. He always seemed to be a bit jealous of Bill in the books and I think Molly is a lot like Bill but because she is her daughter the admiration that turned to jealousy with Bill is turned to pride with Molly.

Author's Response: Wow, I'm completely speechless after reading this review. I've been re-reading it and trying to think how to do it justice. Thank you so, so much for coming by and leaving this review, it has made my entire month *hugs you*

I do write original work, though the only thing I've posted is a partially-completed NaNoWriMo novel that's up on our sister site, fictioncentral. I like to think I'm a decent writer (without sounding egotistical) but I do get a bit nervous when waiting for that first review on a chapter. So I always adore hearing from readers.

Thank you so much - I'm glad you have enjoyed my take on the HP universe and its characters as well as my additions to that universe. I try to make my OCs fit in with the world and the characters we know. I think character invention is my favorite part of writing.

Molly is definitely Rose's opposite. Responsible, dedicated, hard working, fussy about neatness, and down to earth. And not a pink unicorn in sight. I'd like to have a Rose cameo in this story, just because as you say, seeing her from Molly's POV would be fun. I absolutely agree that the Weasleys are an intimidating group to become a part of. Poor Fitz has his work cut out for him. It helps that Percy so loves professional Quidditch, of course. He'll be predisposed to like Fitz. Percy is totally proud of Molly's coolness in addition to her qualities that are like him - I think he absolutely wishes he was more like Bill, and here's his daughter being super-cool as well.

I still feel like I don't know what to say in response! I'm so grateful that you shared your thoughts with me, it really does mean a lot. Thank you again.

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Review #49, by CambAngst The New Lineup

17th October 2013:
Hello, again!

I really liked the way you started to flesh out your characters in this chapter. At least one major conflict started to emerge and the team dynamic started to come together just a bit. To be so early in the story, it was impressive how much I felt like I learned.

Roxie was a great foil for starting to draw out Molly's obsessive need for structure and order. It's obviously not Roxie's style and the compulsive need that Molly seems to have for organization creeped her out a little. I absolutely loved the idea of Molly color-coding her liquor cabinet. It cracked me up to an almost irrational extent.

Moving along to the practice, it was pretty obvious that Molly and Fitz were going to butt heads. It's odd that even though I think Fitz is meant to be relatively young and very handsome, I have this mental imagine of a middle-aged man with a hang-dog appearance. I'm thinking Henry Winkler in The Water Boy, actually. It's mostly just because of Fitz's approach to coaching. He's in so far over his head, yet he's too proud and too stubborn -- possibly also too scared -- to accept help when it's right in front of him. For what it's worth, I have a premonition about who's going to end up being team captain and I don't think it's Molly.

You did a great job of using the dynamics of the team practice to start developing personalities for the other players. You can see all sorts of little conflicts that will need to be overcome for the Prides to be a good team. I'm wondering whether you watch a lot of sports movies in real life, because the set-up feels so familiar to me.

Once again, I couldn't find a thing wrong with your writing. Everything flowed beautifully and there wasn't a typo or grammatical problem in sight. Kudos for awesome editing!

Great job with this chapter. I'm really starting to enjoy this story!

Author's Response: I'm glad it's coming together! Writing sports stories is different for me, so I'm trying to just think of it as a romance only and cross my fingers and hope for the best when I start writing their games.

Roxanne and Molly are besties, and Molly featured several times in "Sparks". It was fun to show their continuing friendship, this time from Molly's POV. She and Roxanne like to tease each other. Roxy wasn't creeped out - Molly's colour-coding is sort of well-known among the Weasleys - she just likes to rib her about it. Molly famously colour-codes everything. ;)

I've never seen "The Water Boy". He's definitely a younger guy, in his late 20s. Molly's age. He really has no idea what he's doing as coach. He hardly got to learn anything from Rodan, who barely coached anyway, before Rodan was fired, and as a player, Fitz never paid enough attention to what anyone else was doing. He focuses too much on the Chasers as a result, since it's what he knows.

I can't say I've seen a lot of sports movies, but I've definitely seen a few. "Mystery Alaska" is one of my all-time favorite movies, though. I'm sort of challenging myself with this story, outside my comfort zone. Thank you so much for the wonderful review and kind words, it really means a lot!

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Review #50, by missdagane Flight and Family

17th October 2013:
"She might turn out like Rose": too funny. And if what I like the most on your fics: you mention a character and you see how the others consider it, helping to build an amazing universe. I really ove how you write Percy (so lovely with Flora), Hilarion is always the same and Molly: rebel on the outside but formal anyway. Please update soon

Author's Response: Poor Rose, everyone teases her ;) Not without cause though! I like showing things from several people's points of view. We've seen Molly so far from Rose's eyes as well as Lucy's and Roxanne's (and Hilarion's!) so it's nice to write her POV. She is formal. Percy's eldest for sure. Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm editing chapter 5 now, will have it up this weekend.

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