i liked it very cute!!!! and i errrr....when siri said he loved james im guessing he meant as friends!?!?....rite!?!? grt job u have a really wonderful style of riting!! lyl lylAuthor's Response: LOL, of course as friends, I keep my slashy tendencies away from most of my work. James loves Sirius as a brother and vice versa Report Review
Noblevyne, you've done an amazing job here. You've gracefully brought the story to Sirius' cell, in a way that would be abrupt for most writers. The description was amazing. I loved the scene with Lily catching them and I loved the interaction between James and Sirius. Drawing from this and "Not Fade Away" I can sense that you do that really, really well. I like the realization on James, and how the weight suddenly falls onto him. You wrote very realistically and just, beautifully. Amazing job.Author's Response: Thanks again bebe. I really enjoy writing James and Sirius together, to me, it's one of the most important relationships of the books and both the characters are so much fun and so interesting to write, that's it's just a bonus to be able to write them together.I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Very good very good. I really have no advice for this. It seems yoiu are a very detailed writer. That is very good. Alot of people like detailed stories. I am but one of them. Well, like I said, nothing to comment on this one really.Author's Response: Thank you for your review. Report Review
this was lovely..a very well written piece.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
I love how you started this piece. With that one line “The bride was laughing.” - I don’t know why but, like I said for your other story, there’s something about it that seems almost poetic. In context with the rest of the story it’s rather ironic. Laughter, even just the word itself, invokes images of happiness, but throughout the whole story there is an underlining layer of sadness, something that’s just heart wrenching. You show it in small lines, little bits of information here and there. You’ve laced the sadness into this story perfectly.
The perspective you wrote this from made the situation seem almost surreal. The descriptions you used and the wording in general gave off this ethereal effect, and I think that adds to the sorrow that’s hiding behind the main frame. It makes the ‘happiness’ in general seem like a mirage.
You captured something here, something that not many people can manage to portray correctly. That confusion and uncertainty that you showed, particularly in James’ character was solemnly beautiful (Is that a silly wording? Well, it’s the only way I can think of to describe it.) There was something wistful, terribly desolate in that one scene, when James and Sirius are talking about ‘Mr. and Mrs. Potter’ – that was one of those sad, almost pensive moments between them that you’ve written so well.
I don’t cry very often while reading. Perhaps I’m just overly emotional at the moment or maybe the fever is getting to me, but I cried here when you wrote that part about ‘old children.’ That, I think, conveyed the situations of not only Sirius and James or the Marauders but of all children born and raised in a time of war. You described it perfectly – that yearning for a time when life was simpler, carefree. It was heart breaking.
The ending was beautiful. You gave a slow progression, gracefully bringing us into Sirius’ Azkaban cell. That was a wonderful succession. In my own writing I’m always trying to find a way to smoothly go from memory to reality, and here you did it perfectly.
There’s such a heaviness in my chest right now; you’ve managed to write these emotions in a way that makes them flow through your words and into the reader. So far there are only about ten other authors on this site that can do that for me. It is the mark of a truly wonderful author.
I could go on forever, I really could, but I think I’ve rambled quite a bit already. Really this was an amazing piece, beautifully written. Author's Response: Again, thanks so much for leaving these absolutely splendid reviews. I'm a terrible respondent of late, but I really am grateful for them.
Ah, the Perspective, the thing that confused me to no end on who was seeing what and telling which. IN the end I think it may actually be the dementor's perspective but even then I'm not sure.
James is my favourite character and I have always loved teh idea of this kid, this teenager growing up so fast, getting married to protect Lily and in defiance of Voldemort, that like his son he had such high morals for such a young guy...we've only seen him as the laughing, bullying boy, but it wasn't that long after OotP that he married Lily and became a father...just a kid, really. My age.
Thank you again for your wonderful review. Report Review
Uh wow. You are a magnificent writer. Keep it up.Author's Response: Thanks again! Report Review
This was really good. I love the detail, and the ending. Great Stroy!!!Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it. Report Review
aw, i had no idea he was just thinking back to that. it was really good. :-)Author's Response: Thank you, that was what I was hoping would come across. Report Review
this is a really good one-shot! on a scale of 1-10, this gets an easy 10! thank u for suplying me with such an entertaining story!Author's Response: Thank you for such a glowing review! Report Review
That was beautifully written, and I especially liked the little twist at the ending. Brilliant. Great job! :)Author's Response: Thank you, it was an absoulte pain writing it like that because I actually had to be careful about what I revealed so I'm glad it worked out. Report Review
That was truly beautiful--you had me tearing up at the end there. *blows nose* James and Sirius's friendship is portrayed so well and the way you had Sirius thinking back on the wedding in Azkaban...*sobs*...It was so touching! This was amazingly well-written, great job! ^_^Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Simple, beautifully written and showing your educated wwriting is of a high standard, I really enjoyed this piece. You capture that feeling of sudden responsibility well, especially the line about James being his parents. And then the sudden cut to the vicious despair of Sirius at the end is stunning. Very enjoyable and clever.Author's Response: Awwww, thanks BJ! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and gave such a stellar review. Thanks again. Report Review
Very Nice!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Aww! I hate that James and Sirius had to be torn apart along with the fact that Sirius 'died' *bursts out in tears* Great story!~Author's Response: I know, I'm a big sap for the angsty tragedy of it all, it's a bit like therapy writing this stuff! Thank you for your review. Report Review
Wow, this was beautiful! All the imagery, the depth of feeling, the realism of the characters - it was all wonderful. It's a nice scene, picturing Sirius and James talking to each other like that. The ending of it simply blew me away with the sudden change to Azkaban, but it fit so well. All in all, I loved this story! You write the Marauders so well. Author's Response: Aww, thanks Susan! I'm really glad you liked this story, 'twas my first attempt at a one shot. Report Review
This nearly made me cry....god, that's so sad!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Sorry I made you upset, though (but glad it had the desired effect!) Report Review
This was absolutely beautiful, compelling, stunning in its clarity...the emotions are so raw and yet so refined. I could think of many, many more wonderful adjectives to compliment this piece! The tragic twist at the end was wonderful. I loved it from start to finish, and the dialogue was perfect. Well done!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Coming from you, that is a high compliment indeed. Report Review
This was really wonderful! You use great descriptions, I could see the whole story playing like a movie before my eyes. And James and Sirius were just... James and Sirius. You picture their relationship so well in this, and their feelings. The ending was so beautiful. [i]Sitting on the floor of his cell, he listlessly bangs his head against the wall, to see if he can still feel.[/i] This is such a powerful sentence, and so true! Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Strawcherry. I love the James/Sirius friendship, every time I think of it I want to write an opus, so this was just a little bit of a vent for me. Report Review
Excellent! It seems in the beginning we know who the actors (characters, really) will be, but the stage is set for only two people---James and Sirius. I didn't think you could craft such inspiring writing from a third-person dialogue!! It is, only later, a reminiscence, a never-forgotten image of happiness and friendship---but then, suddenly, the image fades into a cell, and the dream is lost. This writing stares right into eyes of a bewildered yet dreamless Sirius---almost a pun on his own name! I'm amazed... MattAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for our glowing review! Possibly the best review I've ever received. Report Review
Very insightful... the details are amazing, and your descriptions flow so well into the story... I loved how every few lines you would have some abrupt statement that brought me back to the reality of the story... and the ending--wow. Very, very impressive. I was amazed, and so grateful to hear some of your writing. It was beautiful.Author's Response: Thank you for reading it, Marvolo. I'm glad I could finally share some of my writing with you. Report Review
Wow, Noblevyne. That was such a beautifully drawn piece. Every single bit of it was just...perfect. James and Sirius's relationship was touching and amusing--exactly how I picture them. The end was so powerful. Truly great. Thanks for writing something like this.Author's Response: Cor...I am utterly speechless, coming from you that has to be one of the highest compliments because I so admire your writing. I have an obsession with James' and Sirius' relationship and making it work in fiction is something I strive for, so thank you for your review. Report Review
My, you do have a brilliant way with words. It was incredibly beautiful, touching, and very well crafted. I think you’ve got James and Sirius down very well in the typical male to male post-nuptial ‘talk.’ Very nice. The scene flowed so well that I could almost hear music and then my heart sunk at the ending of the memory. That transition went off very well. I have no bones to pick, it was just great! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much, Wulfeyez. It was a tough thing to write and I'm surprised anyone can read it, I'm still confused! But thank you for your review. Report Review
You are very welcome, Lauren. You've done an amazing job with this and I feel priviileged to have been able to read it. Great job!Author's Response: Without your help, this story never would have found it's way off the ground, so thank you. Report Review
Oh, Lauren. What can I say? This was gorgeously written. You are amazing at descriptions and your words flow beautifully. The ending was painful. But the wedding was such a pleasant memory for Sirius in such a dark place. I really adore this piece, and I'm adding it to my favorites list and rec list. I'm so glad you wrote this.Author's Response: Thank you Missy! It really is a very high honour when you give such a glowing review (who would know better than I?). Report Review
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