Gosh, Lauren, your pieces seem to get more and more beautiful. I want to sigh romantically at the end of this one - the canon love between Remus and Tonks just appears so perfect, so pre-destined. They fit together better than any of the trio ships, especially with the way you write the two of them. For your first Remus fic, this is amazing. You have his character portrayed brilliantly - the hesistation, frustrations, and memories that make up who he is. The Tonks you've written here is better than the character in the books - she has that sort of maturity still mixed with youth. That mention of her giggling over the romance books with her friends contrasts with her hiding the picture of James and Sirius under her bed - yet the two details make her so human, so real. Then there's your wonderful descriptions of everything. The landscape of the graveyard feels so dark at the beginning, but as the story progresses it seems to lighten up, just like Remus' mood. You couldn't have picked a better song for this story, it just fits in so well, and it was perfect the way you integrated it - not scattered throughout the story, but with the bit at the beginning and those last lines at the end. Just perfectly brilliant throughout with everything. Wow, somehow your writing never ceases to amaze me. =)Author's Response: Wow, thanks Susan.The Remus/Tonks 'ship is the only one I ever got obsessive about before it happened (or before it was obvious that it was going to happen...which it wasn't, right until the end of HBP), so I am well influenced by the fanfiction side of the 'ship and how they're portrayed together.Tonks is...difficult, I've said it a lot, but I just don't know how to manage her, she has a lot of quirks in her nature and it's too easy to just fall back on them, she showed us in HBP that she was a character with a lot of depth.This also my first songfic, so I was clueless as to how to structure, but having it at the start and then thrown back to at the end seemed right for the mood. Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
That is great! It really has alot of emotion in it.You are a great writer and it looks to me like you could write your Own book with your OWN characters. A job well done. I see alot of talent in you.Author's Response: Thank you again for your review, I don't think I'm quite as talented as that, but I'm very flattered you think so. Report Review
Okay, I'm without words...agian. You have a habit of doing that with your writing. Two lines got me, the second I almost cried at. "...probably thought he was just some drunkard: a misconception he dealt with often. Being an avid Lupin fan I found this so fitting and believable of the way people would mistake him. For thinking those who like to write him insane (a title I take willingly :-) you portray him amazingly! And this *sob* "For the first time in his life, he’s not thinking of what could have been." I love it! It fit so well with the song, it was beautiful. I just love Remus and Tonks...so lovely, so brilliant, so fantastic! Just amazing! Great work...great work! I'm never disappointed by your stuff.Author's Response: Thanks again, Joela. I've always felt a real sense of pity for Lupin, he's such a proud and dignified human being but he's so shabby in his appearance that unless you know him, you'd think he was homeless or a drunk. Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
I was wondering over to your author’s page to start reading that James/Lily story of yours when I saw this lovely new story posted. I was all happy and giddy when I noticed that it was a fresh story for me to read (and of course review ^_^). So, I shall stop my rambling and get on with it.
I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this, or how many times in the future I will continue to repeat myself (hopefully many more), but your descriptions are always so beautiful. You have such a way with words, such an elegance in your writing that most people can’t capture. I continually strive to reach that point, that descriptive technique, and I always fall short. You have a talent for taking small things, little things that aren’t always recognized and bringing them together to create an amazing piece. Whenever I read one of your works I feel like I’m watching a painter slowly work out a landscape. You bring in the details with just the right pace, you don’t overwhelm your readers with this sudden block of description and move on from there. No, you pull it all together to make the perfect picture, and it amazes me that you can always get in all the five senses! I’m jealous, I really am ;-)
I enjoyed the reflections of youth. That whole scene was terribly despondent, and at the same time, it seems bittersweet. He’s berating himself somewhat for hindsight, the foolishness of overlooking details that were now clear, and although that is the same thing many people connect with his character, I think you have an interesting take on it. There was nothing tedious or monotonous about that part because you seemed to have made it your own, as though you took the time to step into Remus’ shoes and see something more than what JKR shows us. You really have an knack for writing the Maruaders, you always manage to capture that sense of ‘invincibility’ that they had, even in memory. One thing I truly loved about that part was that brief mention of Harry, that acknowledgement on Remus’ part that the boy had never been allowed that blissful ignorance – that is something that, I think, is often overlooked in fanfiction. Very insightful on your part, dear.
For some reason the image of Remus sitting around a gravesite recounting tales of death seems strangely in character. I can’t fully explain how I feel about that, but I thought it was just a classic ‘Remus’ moment.
The imagery throughout the part when he made his way through the old house was wonderful. I don’t often admit this people, but I cried, I really did. It was that one part when you went on about James’ garden – that was my breaking point. Just the despondence, the memory of that joy long gone now, those few moments they had that weren’t overshadowed with grief, was terribly emotive. Then you went on to say how he would always love them in memory – that was so heartbreaking and beyond powerful.
The scene between Remus and Tonks was beautiful (Yes, I’m beginning to run out of adjectives ^_^) I loved it. I had such a heaviness in my chest there, and it was really just amazing. You had them connect on a level that was really meaningful - JKR didn't really give us the time to constitute their relationship, which is why I think so many people are against it, but here you showed the depth that seemed to be missing in HBP. Now, that kiss was nothing short of breathtaking. The renewed sense of hope, of life was just so tangible, and you showed that better than half the writers on this site. Again, the imagery here at the end compared to the more desolate descriptions in the beginning was what really made this whole thing believable. That picture of them walking along down the path, everything seeming somewhat brighter, warmer even, was perfect. Most people would have ended it with the kiss, but I think you gave it a bit of finality by ending where you began.
One last thing before I go – you wrote Tonks without making her flighty or juvenile. You gave her character the justice that fanfiction often steals. You didn’t over accentuate her more quirky side, yet you still gave us a glimpse of that clumsiness but you didn’t try to overplay it like so many people do. Author's Response: Your reviews are getting longer :P.
Wow, I had never thought my descriptions all that good, it's something that I've always struggled with and Linda (timeturner-heck of a lady) has reall helped me with that. I suppose it's that I'm now living away from home and experiencing life a little more, I have more to use.Remus is, to me, more tragic than Sirius in some ways, I imagine that it was very hard for him to think on his life without being bitter when he was a young man, but he's grown up now and he's come to realise that he can't spend it that way, that's it's not only a waste, it's disrespectful to all of his friends who have died. I am so fond of the idae of those 4 young boys being so inncocent and so unaware of the future, of the power they held over it (though they thought they did, just not in the way they'd planned), they were just little kids, little boys with talent and charm, the bodn that they formed changed history...and it's so poingnant to me that Remus was one of those little boys, all bookwormish and pale. Makes me feel all maternal.
I think I want to write something about Harry and Remus' relationship, I think Remus sees himself in Harry and knows where it can lead to, he also sees James in him, and Lily and wants to protect their legacy. I think it upsets him that he can't protect him from his fate.I almost imagine Remus giving a history lesson in the graveyard with those kids and they'd be rapt with fascination.James' garden was a last minute thing I threw in there, just something inconsequential to bulk it up and add some history for them, glad it came off all right.I love Remus and Tonks together, I think they're perfectly balanced and she's just the person to bring him into the light of day. I try very hard to understate her, it's a common trap for authors to make her all quirks and no humanity, and after HBP we're shown that she has depth, so you've got to find a way to mediate those qualities. The kiss was also something I was worried about, whether it was too morbid to be pashing in a graveyard over his friend's graves, but I wanted him to have that physical connection with her...at first I was just going to have them hug or hold hands, but I wasn't going to leave the smooching out of my first R/T fic! Thank you again for your amazing review. Report Review
Good story!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Firstly thank you for accepting the challenge and managing to write it, I admit, it's not an easy thing to do. Secondly, a terrific choice of song, what a challenge you set yourself choosing that, and you really do rise to that challenge.
You write with such excellent description, it's very visual and sensuous, you are very specific about what you wish the reader to see, without forcing detail into the mind, such subtlety. The second paragraph really does accentuate Remus’ life, almost a simile for it - the lonely path – watching other people have lives and families, you feel his desire for it, and its something denied to him, something he denies himself. It's another example of insight you give, and a feeling of Remus travelling not only by foot, but in life too.
In that same sense of travelling his life we move to the past, where he considers all the time he spent berating himself over not seeing the traitorous signs in Sirius, when it was Peter all along. I truly love that he sees his own flaws, that once he believed he had the foresight to have seen the betrayer, but now acknowledges his mistake and accepts it.
I also particularly like the line “Smudges on their noses and frogs in their pocket, they had set out to conquer the world.” It's like an epitaph to the Marauders childhood, and sums up their mischievous nature, so simply but accurately. And it's here, where he compares that with what Harry has known, where I start to feel that heaviness of heart set in.
Just before you describe the House, you tell us of the path leading to it, that it's and it's almost as if he is on the edge of something difficult, something other than the path. But this part, where Remus remembers finding some kids re-telling ghost stories about how James and Lily potter were killed, absolutely epitomises Remus. Does he get angry and chase them away, no; he patiently sits, and tells them what James and Lily were really like, the memory intermingling with a past memory of the Marauders. You paint such a rich past for him, with the graveyard and Garden memories and the Marauders that it's so difficult not to feel a part of it. You really do capture something there, and I am highly envious of that skill. Also the imagery you use with Remus by the headstone is terrific, once again, symbolic.
This line made me cry- “He loved those boys in his memory, even Peter.” Because I believe, he truly does feel that way, despite all that happened. So many people overlook Peter, you never do, you see him for what he was when he was at Hogwarts, a kid growing up with his friends, and it's quite moving that Remus still remembers that part of Peter, and that he remembers it fondly.
You write Tonks, it seems to me – effortlessly, she just flows our naturally, and I love the way you write her. Her thoughts are purely for him and what he is going through, but she’s down to earth and practical too, she doesn’t want him to freeze. I love the humour you insert into the melancholy scene you had set it brings terrific balance. Tonk’s humour has a certain darkness to it too, almost like gallows humour, and that fits considering what they both think about and the circumstance in which Remus found James and Lily. When Tonk’s thinks - ”Although, some would say that Remus hadn’t really made it, that he was still stuck somewhere in his past.” I get the feeling we reach the present in his path, where he does decide that the past is no longer where he wishes to reside. It's almost as if it has taken him these sixteen years to recover from the loss he endured, as if that stoicism he showed was punishment for surviving, but now he was going to live.
”The two of them make it back up towards the road, bundled up closely. Everything feels lighter, warmer. The craggy path isn’t nearly so daunting. Treading a familiar path with a different stride, he moves on.” with those lines you invoke such hope, such promise, like his endurance had been rewarded. I love that you end this piece with the travelling, the progression of things and of life for Remus, such beautiful imagery and the simile rounded it off wonderfully. I just want you to know that you managed to make me cry and laugh at the same time, but you truly succeeded with the text of the song and with the end result of the challenge. And I don’t know why you think you don’t write Remus well, I think you get him spot on, you give insight and depth that JKR fails to give us, and I admire the way in which you present it. I think that’s why you are truly one of my favourite Authors on this site. Oh by the way…your now one of the insane, welcome to the club!
Author's Response: You are a thousand times welcome, Dena. I had been waiting for something to come along and push me in to writing Remus, you provided me the means, now I can go get a pretty David Thewlis banner, hooray!
I started writing this so long ago that I can't really remember my reasoning, but I know that a lot of stuff wasn't intentional, I was just typing what came to mind, originally it was Remus coming back to Grimmauld Place, walking down those alleyways and mourning there, but it seemed to me that his life was essentially over the night Lily and James were killed, he had to go back there to make his peace and resurrect that part of himself that he had left with the bodies of his friends.
Remus has spent years believing one thing, his whole life centred around what he thought to be true of the events of October 31st, finding out that all that hate and anguish was wasted would have been a shock, it makes me wonder where he put it all after the truth came out.
I think that's what makes me the saddest about the four of them , is that they were such innocents, if someone had come to them in their first year and told them what was to come...they'd have pranked them badly, but it would be unbelievable, such devastation amongst their ranks. The events of their life have changed the world so much and they weren't to know it as children, bet they'd made plans of everlasting friendship and such. I just edge around that reality, but it chills me and I was trying to convery that horror, sadness and awe in Tonks.
She's taken on a very damaged man, she realises this, but she can she beyond the awful past that Remus is surrounded by, she see his potential, the man who is, rather than the man who might've been and she loves him, the whole, tattered package.
I was fond of the idea of Remus sharing ghost stories with the kids at the Potter's graves, he's so patient and understanding with all children that I saw this as no different, knowing that James himself would have enjoyed the idea of his legend being spread on dark and stormy nights above his grave, even if it was dug a little before his time.The headstones were my less than subtle way of of representing the past versus the present. They are always in his mind, swimming around his thoughts, all the things he missed saying to them, all the things they've missed out on that he's been able to experience. He's been denying himself the good life all this time because of his guilt, not realising that he shouldn't have wasted his life, James and Lily wouldn't have wanted him to suffer because they had to. Tonks can see that, that everywhere he goes Sirius, Peter , James and Lily are standing somewhere just out of sight, affecting his every move.Peter is someone who I conciously try not to leave out, I don't know what to do with him, but what I do know is that he was loved and trusted enough to become secret keeper and Remus wasn't, so there must have been some strong bonds there. I think that Remus spent a lot of time remembering Peter through the idea that he'd died a martyr, he's too tired to change it all around now, to hate him for being their friend, he realises that it wasn't the Peter from his childhood that betrayed him.Tonks is a tough one too, I try to understate her so that I don't get too over the top with the tripping and tears and cool, urban slang. I find her interesting, I was originally going to do a flashback to that day and really go in for the emotional punch of Remus being dragged away from James to be tortured for information by the Ministry, but I thought it would be better to see it from Tonks' PoV, looking at this man standing before her who has been tortured, who's been through so much in his lfe and yet he's still so kind and warm and gentle and soft spoken, you;d never know what he's done or what has been done to him. And you're spot on about that whole past vs. present thing, Tonks is his future and he's realised that he's stupid to wait around wishing his life were different when she's right there, enough of being the whipping boy, he can enjoy life and understand what he's fighting for again. Report Review
*shakes head in awe* You've done it again. Another excellent one-shot. I think this is definitely your best one yet. Once again, I love your portrayal of Remus..so perfect, so want to give the poor guy a hug (and then some.. :P ) Great job; keep it up! =) Author's Response: Thanks! Always glad to see your reviews. I'm pleased that you thought my Remus portrayal was okay, I was so worried about it because he's so difficult to write, so many angles to consider, so thanks for saying. Report Review
*huggles* It turned out wonderfully. You balanced the creepy factor and sentimentality of his memories just perfectly...a very difficult balance. I love the line about not being able to feel his hands and the descriptions at the beginning are about some of the best you've ever written. Amazing job and now I wait patiently for NFA!!!!Author's Response: You know that's coming, heck you wrote half of it. Thanks for your help with this one and for your review. Report Review
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